Anthology of Interest III - Seriously, read!

[on:]

*Note:  *PLEASE READ FIRST*  This thread is for Miss and Prowla's RP only!  It's not one of those dumb threads where some people add their part of the story, it gets really stupid, then bombs.  It's our thread, and we're gonna make it the best that it can be, and try to leave the really stupid stuff out.  So Mods, please at least give this thread a chance and don't close it!  All feedbacks are welcome, but please, don't get too picky!  Reminder, please don't add on to the story!  It's just for Prowla and me, and maybe one other person in time.  Thanks you and we hope you enjoy!  Now on with the story!

*ANTHOLOGY OF INTEREST III:  MORE TALES OF INTEREST...*


[EXT. View - PLANET EXPRESS - Morning]

INT. View - PLANET EXPRESS LOUNGE - FRY and BENDER are sitting on the couch, drinking beer and watching "All My Circuits" on the tube (aka TV).  They seem really into it when suddenly, HALLEY enters, carrying a load of heavy equipment.  She spots FRY and BENDER.

HALLEY:  Hey you guys!

FRY/BENDER:  *In unison*  Shhh!

BENDER:  "All My Circuits" is on!

Setting the stuff down, Halley slowly approaches the couch and takes a peek of what's happening.  On TV, CALCULON is sitting in a coartroom.

HALLEY:  *Loudly* So what's going o--

FRY/BENDER:  *In unison*  Shhhh!

HALLEY:  *Whispering*  So what's going on?

BENDER:  *Eyes still fixated on the TV*  We're about to find out if the jury finds Calculon guilty of murder.

HALLEY:  Ooo, is this a new one?

She takes a seat on the arm of the couch beside FRY and begins to watch the TV just as intently as them.  BENDER turns to her, pulling a can of something out of his chest compartment.

BENDER:  Beer?

HALLEY:  Sure. 

Just then, LEELA enters the room, looking around as if in search of something, until she nearly stumbles over the load of equipment that HALLEY left sitting there on the middle of the floor.  She looks over at the couch and notices HALLEY watching TV with the guys.

LEELA:  Halley, aren't you supposed to be taking this equipment over to the professor?

FRY/BENDER/HALLEY:  Shhhh!

HALLEY:  We're waiting to hear the final verdict!

LEELA:  Huh?

FRY:  Calculon's on trial for murder!

LEELA:  *Crosses arms*  Honestly, you guys watch too much TV.  Why not do something productive for once in your lives, like working?

BENDER:  Ahh, quit your nagging, woman!  I *am* working!  *Pulls a little yellow hard-hat out of his chest compartment and puts it on top of his head*  See?

LEELA:  *Sigh*  Fry, Bender... You guys have had a long enough break.  Don't you think the TV should get a break, too?

BENDER:  Nah.

FRY:  Why don't you join us, Leela?

HALLEY:  *Excited*  Ooo, yeah!  Join us!  *Holds up her beer*

LEELA:  No thanks.  Unlike the rest of you, I'm too busy doing what I'm paid to do.

BENDER:  And what's that?  Nag?

FRY and HALLEY explode into giggles, BENDER chuckles a little.

LEELA:  No!  Seeing that you three are doing YOUR jobs.

BENDER:  Oh.  *Takes a swig of his beer*

LEELA:  We're supposed to be preparing for an enormous delivery later on, and you three are sitting here and--Are you even listening to a word I'm saying?

BENDER:  *Blink*  H--Wha?  Huh?  Oh, I'm sorry Leela.  Were you saying something?

LEELA:  *Growls*  That does it!  If you three wanna sit here while your brains rot out of your heads then fine by me!  But one day that TV will have enough, and kaboom!

BENDER:  Ohh!  Ohh!  It's back on!

HALLEY:  Yay!

BENDER:  Let's watch!

The gang sits contently while Leela turns away and heads for the door.

ROBOT JUDGE:  And the jury finds the defendant, Calculon... *Abnormally long pause*

BENDER:  *Anxiously*  Yeah, yeah, yeah... Finds the defendant WHAT?

ROBOT JUDGE:  Oh, sorry.  There's a smudge on it.  *Rubs it a little, then clears his throat*  And the jury finds the defendant, Calculon...

Pan to LEELA who's already out the door when suddenly, we hear a loud explosion, followed by flying sparks and smoke.  HALLEY lets out a screech as LEELA hurries back into the room in panic.

BENDER:  NOOOO...!

LEELA:  My God, is everybody all right?!

FRY:  Great going, Leela!  You jynxed it!

LEELA:  I didn't!  I mean... I didn't mean to!

FRY:  Suuure...

HALLEY:  *In panic*  We need another TV!  And fast!

FRY and BENDER look at her in unison.  Moments later, HALLEY enters the kitchen carrying a rather odd-looking TV.

HALLEY:  *Shouting*  Hey guys!  I found it!

FRY:  *Offscreen*  YAY!  Halley found the TV!

BENDER:  *Offscreen*  Whoo hoo!

FRY and BENDER come stumbling into the kitchen as fast as they can, and hurry over to the counter where HALLEY placed the TV.  They stop and stare at it for a moment.

BENDER:  *Frustrated*  D'oh...  That's the wrong TV!

HALLEY:  Huh?

FRY:  Yeah, it doesn't even have a remote!

HALLEY:  *Confused*  Then what is it?

BENDER:  Duh!  It's the "what if" machine!

HALLEY:  Err, okay.  What's that?

LEELA:  *Suddenly appearing from behind FRY and BENDER*  It's nothing.  Just another one of the professor's crazy inventions that shows you the answer to any "what if" question.  *She hauls the old TV across the room and dumps it into a random garbage can*

HALLEY:  Ooo, how does it work?

BENDER:  Well first... you have to ask it something.  For example, if I were to ask it what would've happend if Zapp would've knocked Leela up that one time when he took us all hostage--

LEELA:  That's not funny, Bender.

BENDER:  --Sure it is!  *To Halley*  I would say something like... "What if Leela got knocked up that one time that she slept with that Brannigan guy?" and pull this little cord here... and presto!

The purple screen on the "WHAT IF" machine slowly begins to fade in to a rather familiar space ship...

[Reply #1 on:]

Yeah, 'Halley'...

[insert raised eyebrow emoticon]

[Reply #2 on:]

You know why God created email?  For things such as these.  You don't want other people contributing, keep it to yourself.  This is a public forum, not a personal chatroom.