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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    Never is Falling: A Futurama fan fiction (not safe for work or good taste) « previous next »
Author Topic: Never is Falling: A Futurama fan fiction (not safe for work or good taste)  (Read 4151 times)
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Beamer

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« Reply #40 on: 12-15-2015 06:53 »

The time is now several hours later. A 32 year old Dwight walks out of a nearby London coffeee shop, sipping on an alpacino.

Slurp.

Gulp.

Ahhhhhhhhhh.

DWIGHT: What an excellent coffeee!

Suddently, a crowd of porpoises and humans approaches from a nearby corner. They are all flashing cameras, waving phones in the air and holding unsigned head shots, worthless and meaningless without the signature they wish to acquire: Dwight's. For he is the person depicted in the head shots.

CROWD: LOOK, IT'S DWIGHT!

DWIGHT: Oh no.

A rickshaw pulls up alongside the Dwight, with a Professor Hubert Farnsworth in the drÝving seat.



FARNSWORTH: Quick, son of Hermes! GET IN!!!

DWIGHT: Okay, thanks.

Dwight climbs into the rickshaw and they proceed to flee from the crowd with relentless captivity.

FARNSWORTH: I shall now get you back to your own time.

Farnsworth pulls out a piece of volcanic rock from his sleeveshirt, popping it into Dwight's gullet and rubbing his throat in a clockwise motion until Dwight swallows the sharp, unpleasant object.

Gulp.

Ahhhhhhhhhh.

It is after this that Dwight begins to vibrate and pulsate intermittently, his eyes glassing over with a neat foam which scares away nearby inhabitants of the souvenir shop. Dwight's bellybutton opens up to reveal a gaping mass of white light, which gobbles up both Dwight and Farnsworth, leaving nothing behind but the rickshaw

AND

DWIGHT'S

SUNGLASSES.

Meanwhile, at The Great London Theatre.

Fry and Leela continue to stand on their stage, professing their love to one another repeatedly before a crowd of no one. Several annoyed actors stand backstage, looking on in frustration.

ACTOR #1: Are they ever going to get off the stage?

ACTOR #2: I think not.

ACTOR #3: But we have our opening performance of Cats in just a couple of hours!

C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S C A T S ? ? ?

ACTOR #1: Well, the show must go on.

Actor #1 produces a blunderbuss from his ugly lapel, approaching Fry and Leela with SUCH AGGRESSIVE STEPS.

ACTOR #1: Why, from upon the brow of a happening Whib, exit the stage at once, you two!

LEELA: Who is that, Fry?

FRY: I don't know, Leela. But I love him.

LEELA: As do I.

The actor screams in resignation before turning the blunderbuss onto himself, shooting out his own head and killing himself to death, then the rest of the cast.

FRY: Oh no, he is dead now.

LEELA: This saddens me.

FRY: Because you were in love?

LEELA: Yes.

FRY: Me too.

LEELA: Thank you.

Leela and Fry look at one another and smile, before interlocking fingers and leaving the stage together. They walk out onto the streets of London, only to find nothing but confused porpoises and humans searching the city high and low for Dwight. Sir Hanry Von Ticklestein XIV approaches the loving couple.

SIR HANRY VON TICKLESTEIN XIV: Why, you two! You are fresh faces which I have not seen before in my life. Do you love me?

LEELA: Why, yes!

FRY: Yes, we do, sir!

SIR HANRY VON TICKLESTEIN XIV: Good. How about this as a wager, then? If you can find a celebrity for me, I'll make it worth your while.

Fry and Leela smile, their toothy grins piercing the universe and all places beyond. Genitals throbbing and weeping.

LEELA: Who is the celebrity, my love?

SIR HANRY VON TICKLESTEIN XIV: This beautiful man.

Sir Hanry Von Ticklestein XIV holds up an unsigned head shot of Dwight. Suddenly, a flood of memories washes over Fry and Leela - rendering them fully aware of time and their place therein.

LEELA: GRAB HIM, FRY!

Fry runs up to Sir Hanry Von Ticklestein XIV and puts his arms around him, squeezing him until his head bursts, blood splattering all over the road and nearby walls and also a post box.

LEELA: YES! TAKE THAT, YOU FUCK!!!

Fry runs up to Leela and high-fives him with his bloody hands, making her hand bloody. The two proceed to lick their fingers lustfully, except then they turn around and see a whole street full of people mad at them.

THEY.

WANT.

BLOOD.

FRY: Uh-oh.

LEELA: RUN, FRY!!!

TO BE CONTINUED.
Beamer

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #41 on: 03-16-2016 10:15 »

Fry and Leela speed off, turning a corner to find Farnsworth and a 14 year old Dwight waiting for them.

FARNSWORTH: There you two are!

FRY: Professor! I haven't seen you in seconds!

LEELA: I love seconds so much.

FRY: As do I.

They.

Wax.

Onwards.

FARNSWORTH: Well, it's been YEARS for me! But I've fixed everything!

LEELA: What? How?

FRY: Love?

FARNSWORTH: Of course not, my pretties! Come, take off your clothes and follow me.

Fry and Leela proceed to undress - the wind caressing their bare, pink flesh like the oats of a thousand winters. UGLY ONES.

THIS.

NEVER.

HAPPENED.

Suddenly, the Farnsworth picks up the Dwight and turns him into a time portal. The white light envelopes everybody in sight, except for Dwight, who is dead now.

We open on Mars. Circa 2975. Hattie and Scruffy sit silently on separate rocking chairs on their porch, overlooking the non-existent greenery of their bleak, hopeless surroundings. Leo and Inez approach.

LEO: We want a son.

INEZ: We will settle for a daughter.

LEO: You two make us one. NOW!

Hattie and Scruffy take a brief pause to consider this offer, look at one another (DIRECTLY) and shrug before also shedding their clothes, the harsh, sandy Mars wind punishing their already brittle and disgusting bodies, as they proceed to make love on the cold, red dirt.

Farnsworth, Leela and Fry appear nearby, absorbing their surroundings like a sponge absorbs other things. Water, for instance. Not glue.

FARNSWORTH: Shit! Wrong time.

FRY: But Professor, I love this time so much!

LEELA: As do I...

FARNSWORTH: Shut your cunt-holes, you two! I've had enough of this "love" nonsense! We have ONE more chance to make it back and that is that!

Farnsworth peels off his wrist, exposing a button. It has the word "TIME" on it.

T

I

M

E

.


ticktockticktockticktocktickt ockticktockticktockticktockti cktockticktockticktockticktoc kticktockticktockticktocktick tockticktockticktockticktockt icktockticktockticktocktickto ckticktockticktockticktocktic ktockticktockticktockticktock ticktockticktockticktocktickt ockticktockticktockticktockti cktockticktockticktockticktoc kticktockticktockticktocktick tockticktockticktockticktockt icktockticktockticktocktickto ckticktockticktockticktocktic ktockticktockticktockticktock ticktockticktockticktocktickt ockticktockticktockticktockti cktockticktockticktockticktoc kticktockticktockticktocktick tockticktockticktockticktockt icktockticktockticktocktickto ckticktockticktockticktocktic ktockticktockticktockticktock ticktockticktockticktocktickt ockticktockticktockticktockti cktockticktockticktockticktoc kticktockticktockticktocktick tockticktockticktockticktockt icktockticktockticktocktickto ckticktockticktockticktocktic ktockticktockticktockticktock ticktockticktockticktocktickt ockticktockticktockticktockti cktockticktockticktockticktoc kticktockticktockticktocktick tockticktockticktockticktockt icktockticktockticktocktickto ckticktockticktockticktocktic ktockticktockticktockticktock ticktockticktockticktocktickt ockticktockticktockticktockti cktockticktockticktockticktoc kticktockticktockticktocktick tockticktockticktockticktockt icktockticktockticktocktickto ckticktockticktockticktocktic ktockticktockticktockticktock ticktockticktockticktocktickt ockticktockticktockticktockti cktockticktockticktockticktoc kticktockticktockticktocktick tockticktockticktockticktockt icktockticktockticktocktickto ckticktockticktockticktocktic ktockticktockticktockticktock ticktockticktockticktocktickt ockticktockticktockticktockti cktockticktockticktockticktoc kTHENHEPRESSESIT.

THE LIGHT FLASHES.

flaaaaaaaaaaassssssshhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Fry, Leela and Farnsworth fade away into the ether like nevermore. Cobblety Hyme˝brau looks directly at Leo and Inez and smiles.

LEO: Hattie and Scruffy's child will be the key.

INEZ: And what of all other time? The wars? The planets? The lives lost and taken? Our consciousness separating from our bodies and rejoining at a moment's whim to fulfill its predetermined destiny? The carrots of minors? Brains, cabins, dungeons and what-not? What of all that?

LEO: It has already been, and will always occur. But this is now. This is the moment. And we must embrace it.

Upwardly.

Outwardly.

And beyond.

FADE TO BLACK.

We then cut to one final scene, beginning with a lone ball.

It sits there.

Nothing happens.

Smash cut to Zoidberg, sitting in the blowhole of a whale.

ZOIDBERG: It was quarter past zen, when upon the brow of a happening Whib...

Darkness.

THE END.
TheMadCapper

Fluffy
UberMod
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #42 on: 03-20-2016 17:18 »

Quote
THE END

Or IS it???
DannyJC13

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #43 on: 03-21-2016 21:54 »

Quote
THE END

Or IS it???

Probably not.
Beamer

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #44 on: 03-22-2016 01:11 »

No, it is.

Hope you liked it, everyone!
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