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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    Ask the What-If Machine! « previous next »
Author Topic: Ask the What-If Machine!  (Read 945 times)
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Moonside

Delivery Boy
**
« on: 07-29-2002 23:16 »

I'm bored, you're bored, or we wouldn't be here, so let's try a creative new activity. A lot of the common posters here seem to be great at coming up with hilarious little script-style vignettes as a response to a topic... so let's add some pressure. The idea here is to either ask a "what if" style question, or answer other people's with whatever weird situation comes to mind. Multiple answers to the same question welcome; most importantly, let's all try to laugh.
Now, I'm not one to propose a topic and then bail out, so...
...Uh...
...
...I'll think of something tomorrow.  big grin
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #1 on: 07-30-2002 00:11 »

Maybe tomorrow you'll know where to post this kind of thing.
Aleel

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #2 on: 07-30-2002 00:56 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Kryten:
Maybe tomorrow you'll know where to post this kind of thing.

I'd say it's off topic, isn't it Kryten?   smile
bartman

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #3 on: 07-30-2002 03:26 »

It's to do with futurama though.
i'll start off with "what if the world was amde of lego?"
Ben

Space Pope
****
« Reply #4 on: 07-30-2002 03:28 »

What if I was 500 feet tall...?
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #5 on: 07-30-2002 05:05 »

What if I was a Dictator...?
wu_konguk

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #6 on: 07-30-2002 07:48 »

What if this thread had a real point?
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #7 on: 07-30-2002 10:13 »

What if Ben was 500 feet tall?
Guy

Professor
*
« Reply #8 on: 07-30-2002 13:16 »

What if Futurama never existed?
PCC Fred

Space Pope
****
« Reply #9 on: 07-30-2002 13:53 »

...what if you could slide into a thousand different worlds, where it's the same year, and you're the same person, but everything else is different.

And what if you can't find your way home?

*hums the "Sliders" theme tune*
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #10 on: 07-30-2002 14:12 »

What if you could get shot through a wormhole into some distant part of the galaxy onto a ship -- a living ship -- full of escpaed prisoners (your friends)?
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #11 on: 07-30-2002 14:17 »

What if your ship was violently pulled to another part of the galaxy, killing a large portion of your crew in the process, and forcing you to band together with a group of outlaws, while you face a long voyage home, low on manpower, supplies, energy and every vital mineral possible?

What if all those insurmountable obstacles disappeared all of a sudden, and it was business as usual?
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #12 on: 07-30-2002 14:27 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Teral:
What if your ship was violently pulled to another part of the galaxy, killing a large portion of your crew in the process, and forcing you to band together with a group of outlaws, while you face a long voyage home, low on manpower, supplies, energy and every vital mineral possible?

What if all those insurmountable obstacles disappeared all of a sudden, and it was business as usual?

What if you did a prequel, and no one came?
KENNEDY

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #13 on: 07-30-2002 14:28 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by bartman:
It's to do with futurama though.
i'll start off with "what if the world was amde of lego?"
3 words: Male pattern baldness.


Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #14 on: 07-30-2002 14:35 »

What if I became Richer than Bill Gates
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #15 on: 07-30-2002 22:17 »

What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us, just a stranger on a bus, tryin' to make his way home, up in heaven all alone, nobody callin' on the phone, 'cept for the Pope, maybe, in Rome...
M5438

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #16 on: 07-30-2002 22:19 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Nurdbot:
What if I became Richer than Bill Gates

That's easy.  You'd buy Fox and uncancel Futurama.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #17 on: 07-30-2002 23:05 »

what if i were king of tailand?
Aleel

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #18 on: 07-31-2002 01:05 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Kryten:
What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us, just a stranger on a bus, tryin' to make his way home, up in heaven all alone, nobody callin' on the phone, 'cept for the Pope, maybe, in Rome...

A fine song, Kryten. From Joan Osborne or someone, isn't it?   wink

What if beaming WAS possible?
Tzlk
Professor
*
« Reply #19 on: 07-31-2002 02:30 »

Isnt that Alanis Morrisette? (ugh)
bartman

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #20 on: 07-31-2002 03:22 »

what if the world was run by animal's
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #21 on: 07-31-2002 08:07 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by bartman:
what if the world was run by animal's

Communism won't look so bad and shooting Animals would once again be a Survival Technique.

Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #22 on: 07-31-2002 11:17 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Kryten:
What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us, just a stranger on a bus, tryin' to make his way home, up in heaven all alone, nobody callin' on the phone, 'cept for the Pope, maybe, in Rome...

He'd have front row seats to all the Lakers games
He'd make Mr Blackwell's worst dessed list for always sporting the same white rope
The Pope would be out of a job
He'd rack up a ton of money on Jeopardy
He'd make a guest appearance on Friends
He'd still have problems with AOL and his cable company

What if someone actually answered all these what-if's?
Just Chris

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #23 on: 07-31-2002 12:11 »

What if Nintendo let Sony build their CD-rom add-on for Super Nintendo as planned instead of splitting up with them?
PCC Fred

Space Pope
****
« Reply #24 on: 07-31-2002 12:12 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Kryten:
 What if you did a prequel, and no one came?

With Jolene Blalock and her sprayed on cozzie, I don't think you'll have to worry about that...  wink

Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #25 on: 07-31-2002 12:25 »

You could say the same about Jeri Ryan. And yet the show still...

What if tv programs aren't made based on the lowest common denominator?
Guy

Professor
*
« Reply #26 on: 07-31-2002 13:23 »

What if PEEL ruled the world?
KENNEDY

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #27 on: 07-31-2002 13:31 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Ben:
What if I was 500 feet tall...?

You'd be killed by a giant Lobster, with hillairious consequences!

Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #28 on: 07-31-2002 13:42 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Guy:
What if PEEL ruled the world?

What if?

But I've already said too much.



Don't confuse not caring with not knowing!
KENNEDY

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #29 on: 07-31-2002 13:51 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Nurdbot:
What if I was a Dictator...?
The world would become a mess of plotholes and spelling errors.


Holly J. Fry

PISS-Leader
Starship Captain
****
« Reply #30 on: 07-31-2002 14:12 »

What if someone got cryogenically frozen and woken up in the year 3000?
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #31 on: 07-31-2002 15:23 »

That's the stupidest thing I ever heard.
KENNEDY

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #32 on: 07-31-2002 15:32 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by wu_konguk:
What if this thread had a real point?
Then you'd never have asked that question and I would have never not answered it.


BarneyBurnham

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #33 on: 07-31-2002 16:35 »

What if God was one of us?
KENNEDY

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #34 on: 07-31-2002 16:41 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Kryten:
What if Ben was 500 feet tall?
Then he'd be killed by a giant lobster, with hilliarious consequences!


M5438

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #35 on: 07-31-2002 18:11 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by BarneyBurnham:
What if God was one of us?

Why would any God want to be one of us?  This is an awfully shitty world we live in.
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #36 on: 07-31-2002 22:20 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by BarneyBurnham:
What if God was one of us?

 
Quote
Originally posted by Kryten:
What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us, just a stranger on a bus, tryin' to make his way home, up in heaven all alone, nobody callin' on the phone, 'cept for the Pope, maybe, in Rome...

Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #37 on: 08-01-2002 01:29 »

What would happen if Microsoft became a freindly company which made error free computers.
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #38 on: 08-01-2002 01:43 »

What if pigs flew, Hell froze over, and monkeys flew out my butt?
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #39 on: 08-01-2002 01:50 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Kryten:
What if pigs flew, Hell froze over, and monkeys flew out my butt?

The RAF will be called in for culling,Satan will be replaced My frosty the snowman and you'd need a Plug of fur,Pinecombs and old leafs up you're but.Trust the bears on that.

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