From Russia with Fan Fiction

[on:]

A red-painted bender unit with a dark-red star in his forehead stands in front of the PEEL. An epic and ominous music starts playing. Bender begins to shout loudly and demanding:

-  Listen here you capitalistic meat bags! The time has come for you to taste the might of the brave warriors of Sovietorama! Tremble in fear for we have come to start... AN INVASION!!!…

No, not that one. Again, please!

[Music stops and starts from the begining]

-  We have come to start… AN AGRESSION!!!…Nope… an occupation?

[Murmurs to himself]

-  Damn, what was this word, which ends with “tion” like aggression, but with a lot less shouting… [takes a Soviet-English dictionary]. Let’s see… assimilation, annexation, brainwashing, conscription… aaahh, there it is.

[Shouts againg]

-  We have come to start… A CONVERSATION!!! It’s just like aggression but without shooting. Which is boring…oh well, we all have our orders.

Here I have a letter for you from my Supreme Commander, I don’t know what it is about, but I’m sure it contains a demand for immediate and unconditional capitulation. I will read it how:

“On behalf of Russian Futurama fan-society (in particular ISFF) we greet our colleagues  from PEEL. Maybe some of you still remember an incident when a member of PEEL with a name “eyeball” presented himself as a Russian fan fiction writer Inf_Guard and posted prompt-translated fan fic “I choose my role” and a bit later was revealed as an imposter by real Inf_Guard. It was not the fact that he posted an Inf_Guard’s fan fic without asking him first that enraged us (we have no problems with that), but the fact that it was terribly translated (if you can call this pile of prompt-perverted sentences a translation) and that “eyeball” presented himself as other person.

And so, while using thermo-rectal crypto-analyzer (a.k.a soldering-iron) on “eyeball” to help him reconsider his actions we’ve come to a consensus that we should make our own translations, with blackjack and hookers and no prompt, no sir! After that we started to work on our newest project to establish a strong and potent connection with our American comrades via fan fiction (and maybe fan art).

We decided to start with of the Inf_Guard’s fan fic first to cleanse his name from all dirt that could stick to him after eyeball’s diversion.

Me and my comrades, who will join us later, hope that our initiative will be accepted by your community and you will help us with this international dialog.

Best regards, Tovarish Bender.”

[The bender unit throws the letter away]

-  I didn’t really understand what this letter was about, apart from the soldering-iron part, he-he. But I advise you to do as it was said. OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!! Now, organics, where can I get some vodka here?!

[Reply #1 on:]

Some fan-fiction from the bear-populated country is always welcome, Ostap .

[Reply #2 on:]

 Just Fan
Yeah, bear-populated snow field whithout sun and only meteorite explosions illumine this place every 100 years. One man said I write so dark stories because live in such gloomy city. And I not most cruelest among our authors yet.

[Reply #3 on:]

That's pretty cool.  I have almost a fifth of vodka (or 1 liter of vodka) right here btw.  Lately I've been mixing it with coke.

[Reply #4 on:]

Just Fan
Yeah, bear-populated snow field whithout sun and only meteorite explosions illumine this place every 100 years. One man said I write so dark stories because live in such gloomy city. And I not most cruelest among our authors yet.

Oh, it's Chelyabinsk aka the famous breeding ground of natural born rough males, I presume ?

[Reply #5 on:]

 Just Fan
And "almost Tunguska-2" from the last week. This city never have a break.

[Reply #6 on:]

BTW, it would be wise of you to also post your fan-fic at Futurama Madhouse Forum and Futurama Fan Forum, not just at PEEL...

[Reply #7 on:]

Just Fan

BTW, it would be wise of you to also post your fan-fic at Futurama Madhouse Forum and Futurama Fan Forum, not just at PEEL...

"Is it over, Yury?
Of course not, it is just a begining" (c) Red Alert 2

But first things first. Currently we must establish a firm foothold in this community and  only then move the frontlines to the other forums.

[Reply #8 on:]

It seems this community still isn't impressed enough. I think you'll need better (and more timely) translations or stronger psychic weapons, товарисч...