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Author Topic: From Russia with Fan Fiction  (Read 703 times)
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Tovarish Bender
Crustacean
*
« on: 02-20-2013 10:04 »

A red-painted bender unit with a dark-red star in his forehead stands in front of the PEEL. An epic and ominous music starts playing. Bender begins to shout loudly and demanding:

-  Listen here you capitalistic meat bags! The time has come for you to taste the might of the brave warriors of Sovietorama! Tremble in fear for we have come to start... AN INVASION!!!…

No, not that one. Again, please!

[Music stops and starts from the begining]

-  We have come to start… AN AGRESSION!!!…Nope… an occupation?

[Murmurs to himself]

-  Damn, what was this word, which ends with “tion” like aggression, but with a lot less shouting… [takes a Soviet-English dictionary]. Let’s see… assimilation, annexation, brainwashing, conscription… aaahh, there it is.

[Shouts againg]

-  We have come to start… A CONVERSATION!!! It’s just like aggression but without shooting. Which is boring…oh well, we all have our orders.

Here I have a letter for you from my Supreme Commander, I don’t know what it is about, but I’m sure it contains a demand for immediate and unconditional capitulation. I will read it how:

“On behalf of Russian Futurama fan-society (in particular ISFF) we greet our colleagues  from PEEL. Maybe some of you still remember an incident when a member of PEEL with a name “eyeball” presented himself as a Russian fan fiction writer Inf_Guard and posted prompt-translated fan fic “I choose my role” and a bit later was revealed as an imposter by real Inf_Guard. It was not the fact that he posted an Inf_Guard’s fan fic without asking him first that enraged us (we have no problems with that), but the fact that it was terribly translated (if you can call this pile of prompt-perverted sentences a translation) and that “eyeball” presented himself as other person.

And so, while using thermo-rectal crypto-analyzer (a.k.a soldering-iron) on “eyeball” to help him reconsider his actions we’ve come to a consensus that we should make our own translations, with blackjack and hookers and no prompt, no sir! After that we started to work on our newest project to establish a strong and potent connection with our American comrades via fan fiction (and maybe fan art).

We decided to start with of the Inf_Guard’s fan fic first to cleanse his name from all dirt that could stick to him after eyeball’s diversion.

Me and my comrades, who will join us later, hope that our initiative will be accepted by your community and you will help us with this international dialog.

Best regards, Tovarish Bender.”

[The bender unit throws the letter away]

-  I didn’t really understand what this letter was about, apart from the soldering-iron part, he-he. But I advise you to do as it was said. OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!! Now, organics, where can I get some vodka here?!
Just Fan
Starship Captain
****
« Reply #1 on: 02-20-2013 15:48 »

Some fan-fiction from the bear-populated country is always welcome, Ostap big grin.
Wild_Cat
Crustacean
*
« Reply #2 on: 02-21-2013 17:05 »

 Just Fan
Yeah, bear-populated snow field whithout sun and only meteorite explosions illumine this place every 100 years. One man said I write so dark stories because live in such gloomy city. And I not most cruelest among our authors yet. evil laugh
winna

Avatar Czar
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #3 on: 02-21-2013 18:59 »

That's pretty cool.  I have almost a fifth of vodka (or 1 liter of vodka) right here btw.  Lately I've been mixing it with coke. smile
Just Fan
Starship Captain
****
« Reply #4 on: 02-22-2013 09:16 »

Just Fan
Yeah, bear-populated snow field whithout sun and only meteorite explosions illumine this place every 100 years. One man said I write so dark stories because live in such gloomy city. And I not most cruelest among our authors yet. evil laugh
Oh, it's Chelyabinsk aka the famous breeding ground of natural born rough males, I presume big grin?
Wild_Cat
Crustacean
*
« Reply #5 on: 02-22-2013 11:23 »

 Just Fan
And "almost Tunguska-2" from the last week. This city never have a break.
Just Fan
Starship Captain
****
« Reply #6 on: 02-22-2013 11:53 »

BTW, it would be wise of you to also post your fan-fic at Futurama Madhouse Forum and Futurama Fan Forum, not just at PEEL...
Tovarish Bender
Crustacean
*
« Reply #7 on: 02-24-2013 10:16 »

Just Fan

Quote
BTW, it would be wise of you to also post your fan-fic at Futurama Madhouse Forum and Futurama Fan Forum, not just at PEEL...

"Is it over, Yury?
Of course not, it is just a begining" (c) Red Alert 2 evil laugh

But first things first. Currently we must establish a firm foothold in this community and  only then move the frontlines to the other forums. wink
Just Fan
Starship Captain
****
« Reply #8 on: 02-24-2013 10:51 »
« Last Edit on: 02-24-2013 11:03 »

It seems this community still isn't impressed enough. I think you'll need better (and more timely) translations or stronger psychic weapons, товарисч... tongue
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