Jennifer, believe it or not, but I know where you're coming from. I may not have had any major depression issues personally that involve said... attempts at ending one's life, but I do know people that have gone down that path. It's not easy, and I do know that sometimes just ending it is the easiest thing to do. But it's not the right way. It never is.
The path will be long and difficult, but in order for you to start getting back on with your life normally is to solve these issues. And you shouldn't be alone when you do. Surely you must have some relatives or friends you can talk to? Maybe even a counsellor or a psychologist? My point is, money or no money, you need to get this sorted out. Suicide is not the answer.
You show extraordinary talent in your drawings. They have such great detail, such depth and meaning - great storytelling. Do you really want to throw all of that away? Not only that, but your life? All that you've worked so hard for? Your friends and family, talent and personality - all gone? Did you even stop to think what the world would be like without you in it? What difference you could make? What friends and family you would lose - how they would react to your
loss? Dammit, girl, you need to think before you act!
Even if you are enraged and upset and angry, suicide is not
the answer to those problems! You have a whole life ahead of you - do something with it! Go places, see the world, take opportunities whenever you can see them! Live your life the way it was meant to be - not through sorrow and hate and a want for instant death. Love your life - embrace it. Even if things don't work out like they should, that doesn't mean you have to take it so seriously. Accept whatever happened and move on. Do what needs to be done next.
I believe in you, Jenn. You can make it through this. Just be resilient; believe in yourself
. Don't let your emotions control you.
I hope you've already talked to someone close to you about this; and I hope you've spoken with a doctor to make sure you're alright after taking those pills. So don't do anything else rash, ok? Be positive, no matter what. Look at everything from a positive aspect. Live your life normally and put all of this behind you.