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Author Topic: Bender Buys the Farm  (Read 924 times)
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« on: 02-05-2011 13:11 »
« Last Edit on: 02-24-2011 00:43 »

This is something else I wrote for FFF, that you guys can now have.

Bender Buys The Farm
A short story based on Futurama
Written by ilovebender.com

"Speak to me buddy"!
"Come on"!
"Speak to me buddy"!
"Come on"!
"This isn't funny"!
"Wake up"!
"Speak to me buddy"!
"This isn't funny"!
A worried Fry frantically says, shaking a lifeless Bending Unit that he befriended many years ago and considered to be like a brother from another mother board.
A Bending Unit he would fondly call Bender.
Over come with emotion, he cries out a final
Laying Bender's cold metal body back on to the couch.
Where not 2 minutes prior to that very moment in time, Bender and Fry were happily sitting, thinking up new ways to spend their time that very morning.
He looks up, noticing a lack of ceiling in the room and cries out
Sobbing as if he were a 'widow in the mourning', mourning the sudden loss of her dearly departed husband (or other half), right before her Breakfast Bot brought her her morning's helping of Kellogg's Corn Flakes.
... Fry cries with devastation.

Leela casually walks into the room and asks.
"What'you guys doin'"?
"Insurance fraud".
Happily answers Fry.
Bender sits up to life saying
"No one's ever going to believe that"!
"People are going to think that you hated me, judgeing by that poor performance you just gave"!
"I'm sorry Bender".
"I'll try harder next time".
Fry answers looking down in to his own chest.
"I only signed up for acting classes three weeks ago".
Looking rather glum, Fry looks up at Leela, instantly feeling like his happy usual self.
Leela looks at Fry and wonders why he would ever be so willing to participate in yet another one of Bender's evil schemes, that she herself wonders, just how evil these schemes, that Bender keeps on comming up with, really are anyway?
"I'm helping Bender with his life insurance fraud".
Fry says only to further explain that he had nothing to do all morning and that he had grown bored and hungry waiting for his Kellogg's Corn Flakes to arrive when Bender asked if he'd help him make 'Bender's death' seem some-what convincible to any suspicious member of an unsuspecting public who should happen to bare witness to his charade, or not.

Wheels of a Breakfast Bot roll into the room and park right in front of Fry, managing to crash only once into the coffee table.
"It's about time"!
Fry says smiling, eager to eat.
Leela picks up one of the flyers that the Breakfast Bot has on it's side, in a little wrack.
The meals on wheels places Fry's Kellogg's Corn Flakes on top of it's self ready for Fry to eat.
Leela reading the flyer out loud.
"Farm for sale".
"Farm for sale"!
Bender reacts, turning his attention to the flyer with in Leela's hands.
Arms of a Bending Unit race across the room to snatch a flyer from out of an unsuspecting cyclops' hands only to be retracted back to their menacing source, only to moments later process and spell check a flyer that the Bending Unit took whilst at the very same time making an unsuspecting cyclops go
Just as those arms snatched the flyer from out of 'said poor cyclops' very own 'said unsuspecting hands.
Leela says, as she is startled by Bender.
"Don't you know it's rude to snatch?"
Leela says displeased with Bender.
Bender mimics her
"Don't you know is-me-my-mo-ma-mem to BLAH BLAH BLAH whatever the hell you just said"!?
Bender gasps
"I've always wanted a farm, and for ONLY FIVE CENTS"!
"I'm sure there's a catch, but who cares"?

And before you know it, time passes and Bender is out in a field on Bender's recently aquired farm where Bender happily parties with Hookerbots whilst many are seen happily gambling and having a ball, except Doctor Zoidberg, who can't afford to gamble on Bender's farm. However, no one at the party with Breakfast Bots, forced to roll around and wait on all the guests wrack and wheel, spare one minute's thought to the poor CEO of a bankrupt real estate and loan company as he steps into a Suicide Booth back in New New York City and says
"One please".


This was written in 2009, during that whole credit crunch thing  laff


Urban Legend
« Reply #1 on: 02-18-2011 19:03 »

Really funny!  Especially the Corn Flakes part!   'Buy the Farm' is an old expression of someone dying.   Liked it a lot.  Should post it on Futurama Madhouse.

« Reply #2 on: 02-18-2011 19:06 »
« Last Edit on: 02-18-2011 19:09 »

'Buy the Farm' is an old expression of someone dying...
Exactly, thank you. smile - My first feed back here smile

Avatar Czar
DOOP Ubersecretary
« Reply #3 on: 02-20-2011 03:23 »

Ooo... How much did the farm cost him?  I always imagined Bender working on a plantation! ^_^

Urban Legend
« Reply #4 on: 03-19-2011 21:19 »
« Last Edit on: 03-19-2011 21:21 »

Dear quotation marks,

I so badly want to be in your little group. You let the letters of the alphabet inside, so why can't I be inside your clique? Must you always put me on the outside, I get so lonely out here.


Question Mark and Exclamation Mark.

« Reply #5 on: 03-20-2011 04:43 »
« Last Edit on: 03-20-2011 04:45 »

I bet you would have told Da Vinci to not encrypt in mirror hehe.

Atleast my way, IF - You wanted to rip off Bender Buys the Farm, and not look like a fool and make money off of it, you'd have to go into something like MS Word, search ". and "? and replace with ." ?" ect...

"I know it's not flawless but that's my excuse darn it, and I'm sticking to it." tongue smile

also, Leela says, as she is startled by Bender.
"Don't you know it's rude to snatch?"

is right, also on purpose, big grin wink

I'm kidding, I'm b/s'ing you, that was all a big error on my part.
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