Futurama - I,robot?
By Alexander Nabatov
Bender was sitting on the coach in front of TV as usual, but TV was off as long as Bender.
As it’s seen from Bender’s eyes. Green messages on black screen.
Reloading completed. Checking memory cards and hard discs…
Basic driver for a Bending Unit 22 is found…
Standard BIOS program is found…
Flesh-memory card is found…
Memory card or hard disk is not found…
Scanning data… The major task is found, written on BIOS.
Reading the major task… “Your own memory card is on the table in front of you. Take it and break out sector ACF8456QG and put it in”
Bender opened his eyes in half size, and looked at the table. There was no memory card or hard disk.
“Error. The Object wasn’t found.
Nobody knew, how long he would repeat this operation, if Fry didn’t come in.
“A living form found – idiot. Operational task – to ask about the memory card.”
-Excuse me! Did you see me memory card?
-Memory card? What do you mean Bender, - Fry wondered.
-I’m Bender, insert gilder. And insert memory card too.
-Bender, I don’t know where your memory card is, - Fry looked around the room, - Do you need it now?
“Flash-memory is overfilled. Delete memory and restart the conversation.”
-Excuse me! Did you see me memory card?
-Hey! You’ve already asked me that. Did you lose you memory?
-File “memory” is not found.
The whole team was in laboratory. Professor had just installed Bender a clear memory card.
-I got an idea, - Leela said, - Let’s keep his memory clean!
-Why? – everybody shouted.
-He won’t remember how bad he was. Maybe he would become better. I mean he won’t steal stuff.
-How can you say that, Leela! – Fry shouted, - Do you mean, he won’t remember that he was my best friend?
-You tell him that…
-And what if he won’t understand?
-Quiet, you idiots! – Professor shouted, - Let him search his old memory card and then we can check it with new antivirus program El Kaspersco 3000.
-But it prohibs to enter nearly half of web-sites of Internet – Amy said.
-Because nearly every JPEG picture can be…
When I was fifteen years old
Straight dog game I was told
I went from selling pennies in a writers dike
Time and ass through the psychic breaker
Situation critical phone home…
-Shut the hell up! – professor shouted at the phone lying on the table.
-You asked the best thing to make you wake up... – the phone apologized, - Will this go?
-Oh, my yes, the song that I’d like to switch of quickly, - he took the receiver.
Bender was thinking over what he’s heard. “Antiviruses close up the internet – bad. Fry is a robosexual – bad!”
Professor called for Bender and handed him the receiver. It was a call for Bender. Bender took the recievr and listened.
-I feel sick of arguing with you about this, Leela, - Fry said.
-That’s strange, but I got the same feeling, - Leela answered.
-OK, now would you excise me, I’m out for my memory card, - Bender said, putting down the receiver.
-Wait a second, - professor stopped him, - I must install the antivirus!
-No way! These programs are bad for Internet browsing, - Bender answered.
-The real Bender should have said some joke with the word “ass”, - Fry muttered. Then he came closer to robot, - C’mon Bender, we need to install…
-Get off and don’t come closer, pervert! – with that words Bender rushed to the hangar and exits through the fire door. Fry catches several very strange looks on him.
A half an hour later Bender appears in some poor projects and enters a block of flats.
-Hello? – Bender asked into the hall, - I’ve come for my memory card, as you asked on the phone!.
Bender went deeper into the house. Suddenly the door behind him crashed and some special tactical war robots flew in.http://sasha-nbt.deviantart.com/art/Elite-Kaspersky-s-Droids-123913232
-Moveless your feet! Put your manipulators up! – they ordered.
-Did you bring my memory card? – Bender asked when robots hovered about 3 meters in front of him.
-It is the antivirus patrol! Stay where you are!
“Antivirus patrol – bad. They menace me – enemies! The major task– RUN!!!!!!!”