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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    The Hero of Bot-any (illustrated) - by coldangel_1 « previous next »
Author Topic: The Hero of Bot-any (illustrated) - by coldangel_1  (Read 4249 times)
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DOOP Secretary
« on: 10-15-2006 03:04 »
« Last Edit on: 10-15-2006 03:04 by coldangel_1 »

Futurama: The Hero of Bot-any.


This is a fanfic set after the events of my last one, ‘The Real Decoy’, but not directly related to it except that Leela and Fry are now a couple.
Now I kicked around the idea of doing a Futurama/Firefly crossover, but I abandoned it due to the large number of bright colourful characters involved which would have been a monumental headache what with giving each of them enough page time and such. So instead I have opted to do a homage to Firefly by adapting a portion of this story to the brilliant episode ‘Jaynestown’… Fans of the show will recognise the scenes I’ve borrowed. All credit to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy and the team behind Firefly – arguably one of the most emotive and incredible sci-fi TV shows in history.
Also, obvious credit to The Curiosity Company for Futurama.


CAPTION: ‘Not affiliated with the animated comedy series of the same name’.


(i.e.: the future, 2998AD)

An incandescent laser bolt lanced through the bleak smoky sky, narrowly missing the two figures that ran across the warehouse roof. The lead figure was a silver bending unit, its cylindrical body catching glints of feeble sunlight through the thick smog. In its mechanical claw-like hands it held a large heavy steel box. The second figure was a shaggy-haired human who was wheezing.
   “Where’d you park it, Bender?” the human puffed. “They’re getting closer!”
   As he spoke, a squad of armed hoverbot death-troopers floated into view over the warehouse roof and moved in pursuit of the two targets.
   “Shut your damn food hole, Gareth,” Bender snapped, hefting the box onto his shoulder. “I got this heist all worked out.” As he spoke, a barrage of laser bolts burnt into the roof sheeting at their feet, spurring them on faster.
   “I suppose rousing the guards was part of the plan?” Gareth snapped angrily.
   Bender didn’t respond. He skidded to a halt beside a derelict air vent. Sitting hidden in the lee of the vent was a Scooty-Puff Senior rocket bike. Bender quickly strapped the heavy box to the side and hopped on, Gareth climbing up beside him. With a roar of engine exhaust, the rocket bike lurched up into the smoky sky and began winging away from the guard robots.
   “So long, jerkwads!” Bender bellowed.
   “Yee-ha!” Gareth shouted. “We did it!”
   “Yeah, we sure… oh CRAP!” A hail of laser beams and searing railgun pellets suddenly filled the air around them as the death-troopers opened up with all their weapons. Bender began to weave to avoid the onslaught, but a lucky shot buried into the rear of the rocket bike, lancing into the engine coils.
   The Scooty-Puff Senior coughed a great plume of black smoke and began to lose altitude, dipping down toward the factories below.
   “Oh hell – we’re losin’ power!” Bender shouted, struggling with the controls. “We’re too damn heavy now!”
   “Can you find a place to put down?” Gareth asked frantically.
   “We put down on this rock we’ll have the Supervisor’s men all over us like rats on a human corpse,” the robot said. “Which reminds me…” Bender swivelled at the waist to face Gareth and planted a hand on the human’s chest.
   “What are you doing?” Gareth said, eyes wide.
   “This is for the greater good, meatbag,” Bender said. “My greater good.” With that he shoved the human off the rocket bike to tumble head-over-heel, screaming to the ground far below.

   With the loss of weight, the rocket bike was able to gain a little more altitude, but still not enough to break atmosphere. Bender swore to himself as he watched the fuel level drop – the damaged engine was burning too rich and if he didn’t escape the planet’s gravitational pull soon then he’d never get off.
   Behind him, two sleek shapes rose up from amid the factories and warehouses. A pair of interceptors making a beeline for him.
   “Oh damn it all,” he said, finally coming to a decision. He unstrapped the heavy steel box from the side of the bike and, with a longing look at it, hurled it over the side. The final jettison gave him enough lift to reach escape velocity, and with regret he soared into the sky.
   Far below, dozens of pairs of optical sensors watched the robot become a dot and then disappear completely.

(i.e.: still the future, 3005AD)

“Good news everyone!”
   The ancient, senile old Professor ambled gradually into the Planet Express meeting room and lowered himself into a chair with a creaking sound. He sat and stared through his inch-thick glasses as the assembled employees stared back at him expectantly.
   After a long while, the purple-haired Cyclops sitting across from him cleared her throat. “Are you going to tell us?” she asked patiently.
   “Hu-whaa?” The Professor broke out of his daydream. “Tell you what?”
   “Tell us the good news!” Fry said, exasperated. Leela put a calming hand on his knee beneath the table and rolled her eye. The space Captain and the delivery boy were seated next to each other. Amy, Hermes, and Zoidberg occupied the rest of the table. The only one absent was the robot.
   “I didn’t say anything about any good news,” the Professor snapped. “Now enough lip-flapping – I have good news!”
   The crew groaned.
   Professor Farnsworth activated the hologram projector at the centre of the round table and the three-dimensional image of a rust-coloured planet appeared in the air.
   “This is Port Botany,” a computerized voice said.
   “This is Port Botany,” the Professor added.
   “Spluh!” Amy grunted, the Martian engineering intern toying absently with the sleeve of her pink tracksuit.
   “Port Botany,” Farnsworth went on, “is a heavy industrial planet close to the galaxy’s outer rim. The entire surface is covered by factories, and the entire workforce is comprised of indentured robot slaves.”
   “Slaves?” Leela looked disgusted.
   “Sex slaves?” Scruffy asked, poking his head through the door. The crew looked around at the rarely-seen janitor in unrecognition and so he promptly disappeared again.
   “Oh my, no, not slaves,” the Professor replied. “Anyhow, the slave labour on Port Botany is highly proficient at producing top-quality technical components of all manner for a fraction of the normal price.”
   “I have heard of dis place,” Hermes the Jamaican bureaucrat chipped in. “Da Democratic Order O’ Planets put a trade embargo on it ‘cause da cheap high-grade components was pushin’ down da’ market price and makin’ some of da DOOP’s own industrial interests lose money.”
   “Yes, this mysterious Rastafarian stranger is right,” Farnsworth said. “Port Botany is forbidden to export any hardware off-world. A permanent blockade has been in place around the planet for more than a year, and consequently the slave population is starving – they have received no money to pay for their basic alcohol requirements as the factories aren’t running.”
   “That’s terrible,” Leela said. “What are the authorities doing about the humanitarian situation?”
   “It’s a robotitarian situation actually,” Hermes said helpfully. “And the authorities could give even less of a mutant rat’s ass than I do. The point of order here is that we have an opportunity to rake-in a little karma by helping the inhabitants of Port Botany make a little scratch, while also and more importantly pulling in a profit for ourselves.”
   “Wait… we’re gonna scratch some karma for profit…” Fry furrowed his brow in an attempt to understand.
   “He’s talking about smuggling,” Leela explained, a pained look on her face. “We’re to buy goods from the impoverished slaves of Port Botany for a pittance and ship them out past the DOOP blockade so we can then sell them for profit. In doing so we’d be perpetuating a cycle of third-world deprivation, but in immediate terms be helping the workers survive… I suppose it’s the lesser of two evils.”
   “Yet nobody seems interested in helping ZOIDBERG survive!” the Decapodian physician declared mournfully, slumping to the table and covering his head with his claws. “I’m soooo hungry!”
   The others ignored him.
   “But…” Amy Wong sat up and looked around the table. “Ta ma de! We’re not smugglers… we’re just a package delivery company. This is illegal!”
   “Illegal?” the Professor laughed. “Oh heavens no, it isn’t illegal – it’s merely against the law. And since we’ve not had a profitable delivery job ever since that Xylogen fiasco, I – by which I mean you - are forced to undertake such a venture if we want to keep our proverbial heads above proverbial water. Now, I’ve had whatshisname here…” he gestured vaguely at Hermes, “program the coordinates into the ship. You’re to sneak onto the surface and meet with a labour leader – a man named Vassiliev who will help broker the deal beneath the heads of both the planet’s supervisor and the DOOP overseers.”
   Hermes consulted his clipboard and then slid a plastic envelope across the table to Leela. “The money for the shipment,” he explained. “Keep it away from Bender, whenever the mechanical monstrosity decides to show himself. Also, you’re to take Amy with you so she can verify the hardware you’re buying.”
   “Yay, a smuggling run,” Amy said uncertainly. “Something for my CV…”
   Hermes glanced at Fry who was trying to look important and professional. “Since this is a pickup, I don’t see that we’ll really need a delivery boy…” Hermes cringed when a heavy boot slammed into his shin. “Ugh,” he consulted his clipboard again, “unless the Captain has any specific need to have a simple-minded layabout on board.”
   “She does,” Leela replied firmly, an a tone that told everyone present that it was not a debatable matter.
   Fry grinned widely. “Alright!” he said. “Let’s be bad guys!”
   “Yes,” the Professor seconded. “Off you go!”

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #1 on: 10-15-2006 03:57 »

Bender strutted out of the NNY branch of Mom’s Old-Fashioned Robot Company feeling happier than he had in weeks. It had taken much longer than he would have liked to find a replacement body for a bending unit after his beloved chassis was completely destroyed by a Xylogen boarding party during the PE crew’s last disasterous mission. During the intervening time he had been forced to make use of a skinny and pitiful robot chassis that made him look like an anorexic transvestibot.
   But now he was back, baby. Head firmly mounted on an original bending unit body. It had cost a small fortune to get the older design built for a one-off, but he wouldn’t have been satisfied with anything else.
   As he took the midtown tube-line to Planet Express he sung brokenly to himself, an old ‘Talking Heads’ song that Fry had taught him, but substituting the words “take me to the river” with “Ben-der is a legend”. The towering ziggurats of New New York zipped past the transparent tube and for the time being, the robot looked on the city with slightly less contempt.
   When he arrived at Planet Express he entered the hangar area to find the crew bust prepping the ship.
   “Look who’s got his shiny metal ass back!” Bender bellowed.
   Fry, Leela, and the others looked over and cheered, gathering around to inspect the new hardware.
   “Oh Bender, you look better than ever!” Amy said, giving him an affectionate pat on the Shiny Metal Ass.
   “Yeah man, I bet you feel a whole lot better now,” Fry said.
   “I’ll take that bet,” Bender replied. “Guys, it means so much to me you pitching in for this. I can’t repay you every cent, but I can give you a little something…” He produced a wad of bills from his new chest compartment and handed the money around.
   “Bender, where’d you get this?” Leela asked, a little dumbfounded by his generosity.
   “I sold that skinny body the DOOP gave me,” the robot replied cheerfully. “Told some sap that Elton John’s head used to use it for transport. Hah-hah!”
   “That’s very thoughtful of you.”
   “Ah, it’s the least I could do. Actually the least I could do is nothing, so consider yourselves in my good graces. Now, we got a job?”
   “Something right up your alley,” Leela said with a smile. “We’re smuggling.”
   “Oooh-hoo-hoo!” Bender chuckled wickedly and steeped his new metal fingers. “Excellent!”

Thirty minutes later the little green Planet Express freighter was blasting its way out of Earth orbit and lining up a trajectory for the Galaxy’s outer rim. Leela opened up the dark matter engines and the little blue planet quickly receded to a star behind them, and then disappeared entirely.
   “How hard d’you think it’s gonna be to slip past the DOOP?” Fry asked as he watched starfields drift past outside.
   “Probably not hard at all,” Leela muttered. “Considering their calibre of enlisted officers…”
   “Hey!” Amy looked up angrily from the engineering console.
   “…Except Kif,” Leela added.
   “Ooooh,” Amy brightened. “Do you think the Nimbus will be part of the blockade?”
   Fry and Leela exchanged glances. The last meeting they’d had with Zapp Brannigan had ended with Fry’s fist becoming closely acquainted with the Captain’s jaw. Zapp had been put in his place at the time, but it was doubtful his shock would outlast his desire for revenge.
   “Amy,” Leela said slowly. “I want to make this perfectly clear – we’re flying under the radar for this mission. If we reveal ourselves, the mission is over and we go home empty-handed. I do not want a repeat of that other time you ‘needed’ to see Kif.”
   “Yes Captain,” Amy sulked.
   “Because we’ll drop you right back on Mars.”
   “I said yes! Qin wode pigu!”
   Leela looked at Amy for a long moment, and her face softened. The young woman’s love was a million miles away – so how could Leela judge when her own was with her all the time?
   “When we get back from this run, I’ll make Hermes give you time off to pay Kif a visit,” Leela said finally, and Amy raised her eyebrows in surprise.
   “Ooooh! I love my Captain!” Amy cried, jumping up to give Leela a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I’m gonna go check to see how the new reactor is fairing.”
   The girl hurried out, leaving Fry and Leela alone on the bridge. The anachronistic delivery boy was grinning at the Captain and Leela smirked back at him.
   “You think I’m going soft?” she asked.
   “Oh, no,” Fry grunted. “I just couldn’t help noticing Amy kiss you. That’s a sight a guy could get used to.”
   “Mmm, I’m sure it is,” Leela replied indulgently, moving her eye back to the instruments. “It’s also a sight a guy won’t get used to.”
   “Oh-kay, just testing that pond.” He sidled over to her. “Woe is me. I guess I’ll just have to kiss you myself.” He leaned close and kissed her neck softly.
   Leela made a small cooing noise and closed her eye, relaxing.

   “Fry…?” she murmured.
   “Uh huh?” he was still kissing her neck, with one hand gently trailing through her hair.
   “We really should… not be doing this while I have the helm,” she said, gently and reluctantly pushing him away. “It’s unprofessional and potentially dangerous. You and I are something much more now, but I’m still the Captain and…”
   “It’s cool,” Fry nodded his understanding. “Guess I’ll just, uh… restrain myself.”
   Leela smiled. “I take my break in six hours,” she said silkily.
   Fry looked pleased, and was about to comment when the bridge door slid open and Bender came clumping in, whistling to himself. The robot saw Fry and Leela in close proximity and emitted an electronic chuckle.
   “‘Ello ‘ello ‘ello! Wot have we ‘ere then?” he quipped. “Seems you might be trying to handle too many gearsticks at once there, big-boots. Careful you don’t put us into the side of a moon.”
   “No, no, we’re being… what did you call it?” Fry looked at Leela.
   “Professional,” she said.
   “That what they’re calling it these days?” Bender slumped into a free chair. “So where are we headed anyway?” he asked.
   “A trade-embargoed planet called Port Botany,” Leela replied. “We’re going to…”
   Leela and Fry looked up in alarm. Bender had lurched up off the chair and now stood in what they knew to be his surprised pose. His optical sensors were fully dilated.
   “Port Botany,” Leela repeated, narrowing one side of her eye in a quizzical half-squint. “Are you okay Bender?”
   Bender paused for a long moment before responding. “Sure…” he said slowly. “Not a thing wrong with old Bender. You won’t be needing me for anything on this job though, right? I mean… I can just stay aboard the ship?”
   “We’ll need you to help transport the shipment,” Leela said, growing irritated. “Bender if you have a problem then you’d best explain what it is.”
   “Nope, no problem,” Bender said hurriedly, fidgeting in a distinctly un-robot-like manner. “I’m gonna go get ready.” With that, he quickly marched back out of the bridge.
   Fry and Leela stared after him.
   “What was that about?” Fry wondered.
   “I don’t know,” Leela replied. “But whatever it is, I don’t want it to compromise this mission. We’re going to be skirting the edge of a very high precipice on this one, and I don’t want any complications. You should talk to him.”
   “Yeah.” Fry nodded agreement and went back to looking at the stars.
   “I meant now.”
   “Oh, right.”
Bending Unit 99

Bending Unit
« Reply #2 on: 10-15-2006 05:08 »

yay illustrated, good start as well.

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #3 on: 10-15-2006 05:18 »

Oooooooooooooooo, shippy and Amy kissed Leela and Benders in trouble and Fry's with Leela and Shippy and and oooooooooooooooh oooooooooooooooh ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooh

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #4 on: 10-15-2006 06:01 »

Bender was wearing Leela’s green jacket and a spare pair of Fry’s jeans, and he was busy trying to prise open the ship’s armoury locker when Fry found him.
   “Help me get this open, meatbag,” Bender said, motioning for Fry to help him.
   “Bender, what are you doing?” Fry looked at his friend in bewilderment.
   “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m stocking up on some protection.”
   “But… you’re wearing Leela’s coat… and my pants.”
   Bender looked down at the apparel stretched on his cylindrical chassis.
   “Oh, well…” he searched his data banks for inspiration. “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery… you guys are so stylin’ that I… err… want to be like you,” he finished lamely. “Now is there a key to this thing?”
   “You’re scared of something on that planet, right?” Fry said.
   “Me? Scared? Never!” Bender folded his arms and laughed.
   “You’re trying to disguise yourself and load up on guns.”
   “I’m terrified.”
   “Why?” Bender hesitated and Fry put an hand on his shoulder joint. “You can tell me, man. I’m your friend.”
   “Well…” Bender looked to the left and right. “I never told you this before Fry, because I didn’t want you to think less of me, but the truth is… I’m a criminal.”
   Fry stared at Bender for several long moments, blinked a few times, and then nodded slowly as he tried to keep a serious expression and restrain the riotous fit of laughter that was struggling to burst fourth.
   “I see,” he said carefully.
   “I was working on Port Botany a few years before you came out of the freezer,” Bender went on. “Only as a cover for the heist I was planning… but things went pear-shaped and you could say I made me some enemies there.”
   “That was a long time ago,” Fry reasoned. “How do you know anyone even remembers?”
   “The planet supervisor ain’t the kinda skintube who forgets when people make a fool of him.” Bender leaned close to Fry and lowered his voice. “One guy he caught skimming from the manufacturing fund ended up getting lowered into a vat of acid feet-first… and slowly.”
   Fry chuckled. “I saw that in a movie once,” he said. Bender narrowed his eye units, and Fry sobered. “Okay, okay, there’s some history. But we’re not going through the supervisor, so all you need to do is keep a low profile. If you don’t draw any attention then we can be in and out and nobody will know you were there.”
   “Well okay,” Bender said, sounding unconvinced.
   “And no guns,” Fry added. “We’re not out to start a war with those people. I’m sure they’re already skittish enough with the DOOP breathing down their necks.”
   “Ugh. Fine.” Bender turned away and started off toward the kitchenette.
   “Hey Bender,” Fry called after him with a grin, and the robot turned. “A criminal? Really? You?”
   “Bite my shiny metal ass, Fry.”

At the edge of the galaxy, on a murky brown world, in the bowels of an industrial metropolis, inside a very small cell, sat a dirty longhaired man with a shaggy beard.
   Gareth was missing his right eye, and his left leg sat at an awkward angle where the bone had set crookedly. The years of incarceration had left him wizened and hallow, but even so there was still a feverish glow of energy in his remaining eye as he scratched on the floor with his square of chalk.
   Scrawled across every bare surface in the tiny room – the floor, walls, and ceiling – and accompanied by rudimentary drawing of a robot in various states of demolition, were three words repeated over and over.
   Bender must die.

The voyage proceeded as normal. Bender appeared to overcome his earlier panic, taking shifts on the bridge and debating with the ship’s autopilot at great length. Even so, the others were still able to discern a level of unease in his manner.
   Amy was heading up to the bridge to check on Bender and see if he needed anything when she nearly bumped into Fry as he emerged from Leela’s quarters. The Chinese girl’s mouth dropped open when she took in the delivery boy’s appearance – his orange hair was mussed and his clothing askew… the white T-shirt actually seemed to be inside-out. It couldn’t possibly be what it looked like… could it?
   Fry’s eyes widened in surprise when he saw her, and he stammered something inaudible.
   “Fry?” Amy looked baffled. “What were you doing in Leela’s cabin? You weren’t… going through her ‘things’, were you?”
   “What? No!” Fry looked insulted. “You think I’m some kind of pervert?”
   Just then the door to the Captain’s cabin slid open, and Leela leaned out, holding Fry’s red jacket and totally naked.
   “Fry, you left your…” She stopped when she saw Amy, and pulled the jacket back to cover her bare body, blushing profusely.
   Amy’s eyes boggled as she looked back and fourth between her two friends.
   “You guys are…?”
   Fry nodded.
   “Since when?”
   “The Xylogen mission,” Leela answered. “We didn’t want to announce it to everyone right away; office romances are so scandalous – you know what Zoidberg’s like when he gets a juicy piece of gossip… when he gets a juicy piece of anything really. You’re not mad, are you?”
   “Fluh! Of course not!” Amy said, clapping her hands. “Bèndàn! We’ve all been waiting for you two to finally get together! I’m so happy for you both.” Amy swept forward and collected Fry and Leela into a big embrace, despite Leela’s unclothed state.

   “She’s been in a hugging mood lately,” Fry observed.
   Amy pulled away and grinned, hoping the slight pang of illogical jealousy she felt wasn’t showing on her face.
   “Leela, you and me gotta have some girl talk later,” she said. “I want all the naughty details too.”
   “Haha, okay,” Leela smiled nervously and handed Fry his jacket. “I’m going to get dressed now.”

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #5 on: 10-15-2006 06:05 »

Uncalled-for? Yes.
Gratuituous? Yes.
Bending Unit 99

Bending Unit
« Reply #6 on: 10-15-2006 06:13 »

well i can say you pick very precise times for illustrations   big grin 

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #7 on: 10-15-2006 06:17 »

Bending Unit 99

Bending Unit
« Reply #8 on: 10-15-2006 06:24 »

but that pic looks like a serious paint job, what program did you use, did you even use your computer?

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #9 on: 10-15-2006 06:28 »

I hand-draw and inked it, then scanned it and used the painbucket tool in my Lexmark photo editor program to put the colour in.

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #10 on: 10-15-2006 15:30 »

MORE, and Amy jealous, I can't wait!

Bending Unit
« Reply #11 on: 10-15-2006 20:58 »

MORE! *throws an angry kitty at coldangel*
Bending Unit 99

Bending Unit
« Reply #12 on: 10-16-2006 00:58 »
« Last Edit on: 10-16-2006 00:58 »

tick tock tick tock i'm pretty sure its update o'clock

when i'm annoyed i look like this http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/9940/creature1beo0.jpg
so dont keep me waiting...

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #13 on: 10-16-2006 02:52 »

Brown-stained cirrus and cumulous clouds spread out across the grimy atmosphere of Port Botany far below the small flotilla of DOOP warships in high orbit. It was a junk assignment, boring and uneventful – the crews of the vessels had been sitting around doing nothing for months. And an itching desire to blast the living crap out of something had emerged.
   When a small contact appeared at the edge of sensor range, they clamoured to intercept it.
   Leela, having resumed her place in the Captain’s chair, noted the probing fingers of long-range subspace radar with stoicism.
   “Amy, shut down all non-essential systems,” she said calmly. “Bender – launch the cry-baby.”
   “And I’ll get you your coffee, Ma’am!” Fry said, sounding determined and militaristic.
   As Amy shut down all onboard energy-emitting processes to render the Planet Express ship as silent as possible, Bender dialled up the number 1 torpedo tube and fired it. But it wasn’t a torpedo that leapt from the tube and blasted away on a stream of ion propulsion – the ‘cry-baby’ was a jerry-rigged transmitter apparatus designed to broadcast on all frequencies a pre-recorded distress call.
   With a deft twitch of its thruster, the cry-baby altered course toward Galactic South, peeling away from the PE ship’s course. When it had travelled four thousand kilometres it began crying.
   Aboard the lead DOOP vessel ‘Corinthian’, a communications alert kicked up, and an ensign looked to the Captain in alarm.
   “Sir, we’ve got a heavy transport at the edge of the system carrying fourteen-thousand souls,” the kid said. “They say they have a hull breech and request immediate assistance.”
   The Captain nodded. “Must have been what we picked up,” he said. “Set course.”
   As the battle group sped toward the phantom signal, the PE ship drifted silently above them in the opposite direction.
   In the PE ship’s command chair, Leela smiled grimly to herself. “Seeya later, boys,” she said smugly, watching the warships recede from the scope as she approached the planet unobstructed.

Sonic booms rippled out from the PE ship as it dived in low through the murky atmosphere and levelled out to skim across a dirty ocean to avoid radar. The nose of the little green freighter still glowed red from re-entry, and it kicked up a wake of steam when the ship flew through a light rainstorm.
   Leela checked their trajectory and noted with satisfaction that they were on-track to the coordinates listed in the ship’s guidance system.
   “So this’ll be quick, right?” Bender asked. “In and out, no hanging around?”
   Leela looked over at the robot – he was dressed in Fry’s pants, her jacket, and had found one of the old yellow ‘Awesome Express’ caps to pull down low across his eyes.
   “No, Bender,” she said. “We’re not going through official channels so it will take time to arrange the meeting and cargo transfer. Until then we’ll keep a low profile.”
   Bender muttered to himself and did up the jacket.
   A coastline swam into focus ahead, looming out of the murk. It wasn’t the kind of coastline one was used to seeing – this one was a sheer cliff of factory walls and heavy machinery. There was no beach – just an intricate tangle of pipes and cables. Leela slowed the ship and cruised toward the towering sprawl on candlepower. They flew into an open trench between factories and lowered altitude gradually as cranes and storage tanks whipped past on either side. Finally, Leela dropped into a hovering pattern over the top of an abandoned roofless structure, and gently eased the PE ship down into the open space below, toggling the landing gear down.
   After landing, the ship’s engine powered down with a descending-pitch whine, and presently the four crew-members emerged down the landing stair. The air smelt of iron filings and ozone, and it was deathly cold.
   “Kluh!” Amy complained, rubbing her hands together. “The Professor certainly chose a cold smelly planet for us to pilfer.”
   “We’re not pilfering,” Leela said as she drew a box out from a compartment at the bottom of the stairs. “We’re just taking advantage of third-world desperation. Now let’s get this camouflage netting up to make sure the ship isn’t spotted by airborne patrols.” She unrolled an expansive sheet of olive mesh that they all helped to loop over the ship’s fuselage and spread out. From the air, the vessel became an indistinct blob of drabness that melted into the dreary industrial landscape.
   Task complete, Leela activated the ship’s remote central locking and the four of them made their way out of the ruined warehouse onto a main road.
   Amy looked at Bender oddly. Though it was true some vain robots took a liking to clothes for the sake of fashion (there could be no other reason), Bender had never been know to indulge.
   “So what’s with the outfit, Bender?” she asked conversationally. “Trying to avoid getting your new body scratched?”
   “Yeah, sure, that must be it,” Bender muttered, glancing around nervously. “But while we’re on the surface I’d like you to refer to me as ‘Caleb’ at all times… no, no, better yet – ‘Damien’.”
   “Bender’s got enemies on this planet,” Fry explained. “He’s frightened someone will recognise him.”
   Leela gaped in mock astonishment. “Enemies?” she exclaimed. “Surely not our beloved Bender?!”
   “Did I not just make a clear and simple statement regarding the use of my real name?” Bender snapped angrily. “I’m glad you skintubes think my imminent demise is so hilarious.”
   “It always is, buddy,” Fry said, clapping him on the back.
   Bender was about to snap off an insult when suddenly a towering factory robot wheeled out into their path and glared down at them with incandescent eyes.
   “You people aren’t supposed to be here,” it said. “Who are you?”
Bending Unit 99

Bending Unit
« Reply #14 on: 10-16-2006 03:18 »

i was about to go weird thingo with swords for limbs and head held up by big nails on you

yay update

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #15 on: 10-16-2006 03:22 »


It's gonna start resembling 'Jaynestown' in the next post. Has anyone actually seen Firefly, or was mentioning the homage a tad pointless?

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #16 on: 10-16-2006 06:15 »

“Wh… who are we?” Fry stammered, stepping forward hesitantly as he thought hard. “Well uhh…” He raised his index finger. “Ask not who we are – ask instead who YOU are. Because to know one’s self is to be truly wise, and it is the wise man who…”
   “SILENCE!” the factory ‘droid commanded, lifting a massive steel claw threateningly. “I know who I am. YOU, I do not – section 36 dash ‘A’ of manufacturing prefecture five-hundred and seventy-two is off-limits to any unauthorized personnel. State your identity and business!”
   Fry stared blankly. “We’re Jehovah’s Witnesses,” he said after a long pause. “We’re here to talk to you about God.”
   Bender leaned close to the two women and muttered sarcastically: “Who is this master of subterfuge and what has he done with our Fry?”
   “Which God?” the factory robot demanded, folding its gargantuan manipulator arms.
   “The God with the best quality and lowest prices guaranteed!” Fry answered with gusto, pumping his fist. “If another God offers you a better deal – we’ll beat it by ten percent!”
   Leela closed her eye despairingly. “Oh sweet Jesus,” she murmured.
   “We’re also bug exterminators,” Fry said, on a roll now. “We’ve been hired to perform a pest inspection to make sure the cockroaches aren’t developing weapons of mass-destruction.”
   “Welllll….” the large robot rubbed its chin thoughtfully. “There WERE some bugs down in the lower levels got caught stealing Plutonium.” It thought for a moment longer. “All right then, you may pass. Just don’t cause any trouble!”
   “No, sir.” Fry grinned at the others as they moved past the gargantuan mechanoid. “So am I smooth or what?”
   “Smooth like a gravel milkshake,” Leela replied with a smirk. “Luckily production-line models like that don’t have much use for high-grade AI. Now come on, let’s get to the town square so we can put out the word to Vassiliev.”
   “And then get the hell off this damn rock,” Bender added, pulling his cap down lower.
   They continued along the tarmac strip for a few hundred feet further before the road opened out into a wide common. Various stalls and storefronts lined the sides and pipes crisscrossed the sky above. The area was virtually deserted except for a few robot vagrants rusting in the gutters. The four Planet Express crew came to a dead stop when they saw the object that took up the centre of the square.
   “Gan ni niang!” Amy exclaimed, grateful (not for the first time) that her friends couldn’t understand Chinese.
   “What… what is this?” Leela stared wide-eyed at the spectacle.
   “That’s…” Fry searched for an appropriate word, and decided on: “…disturbing.”
   In the middle of the dusty common, standing on a stone plinth and reaching ten feet in height, was a statue. It was roughly-hewn from sections of scrap metal, but had been crafted with obvious care – the welds were clean and even, and it had been kept clean. A number of candles and floral wreaths had been laid at the statue’s feet, where a name had been spelled out in bronzed letters.
   It read: Bender B. Rodriguez.

   It was a ten foot high statue of Bender, cast in a heroic pose with his fist raised toward the heavens.
   “Sweet motherboard!” Bender muttered in quiet incredulity.
   “Bender?” Fry said slowly.
   “You wanna maybe try explaining this?”
   “I got no answer,” Bender said, shaking his head. “It don’t make no kind of sense. You know I love forcing people to build statues of me – but I don’t know anything about this one…”
   Amy leaned from side to side as she looked up at the statue. “It’s weird,” she said. “Wherever I go, his eyes seem to follow me.”
   “Okay,” Leela said, glancing around. “Obviously Bender made a bigger impression on this world than he thought. We should get out of the open and into someplace dark.” She spotted a hole-in-the-wall bar at the other side of the square and motioned for the others to follow her toward it.
   Fry remained for a moment, looking up at the looming statue with a sense of bewilderment and quiet dread. “Creepy,” he muttered, before turning and following the others.

In the planetary space around Port Botany, the flotilla of DOOP warships had fallen into a search pattern after discovering the cry-baby unit broadcasting the fake signal. A state of yellow alert had been issued, and it had become apparent that someone or something was playing them for fools.
   The Captain of the Corinthian had been forced to report the incident to DOOP command, and had been given the unwelcome news that the Order’s flagship was being dispatched to investigate.
   The Nimbus. Captain Zapp Brannigan. The most highly-decorated village idiot in the history of the galaxy, with the possible exception of Supreme Chancellor Dwight the Drunken from the planet Urinal V in the Pungent system.
   As promised, the Nimbus emerged from lightspeed and fell into orbit around Port Botany. The massive white-flanked starship dwarfing even the Corinthian.
   A wide-beam communication was sent out to all the other DOOP ships, and on their main screens the smug, superior smirk of Zapp Brannigan appeared, larger than life.
   “Put away your knitting, ladies,” Zapp said with a derisive chuckle. “It’s time for a man to take over… the knitting… to knit… a tapestry of – competence… and justice.”
   Brannigan deactivated the comm. link and swivelled in his chair, giving the Nimbus’s bridge crew an unwanted view up his regulation skirt. He faced his Lieutenant, the green alien Kif Kroker.
   “Kif, my disgusting reptilian underling,” he said, “what we have here is an attempt by outside agencies to engage in trade with a subjugated and dying world – it sickens me!”
   “Shall I get the bucket, sir?” Kif muttered.
   “Not now, Kif. First I pose you a question – if a vessel were trying to get to the surface of Port Botany, where would it head first?”
   Kif blinked two pairs of eyelids and stared at his hated commander. “Is that a trick question, sir?”
   “I don’t play tricks, Kif – I live them.”
   Kif sighed at that nonsensical comment and answered: “I would say a vessel trying to get to the planet’s surface would logically head toward the planet’s surface.”
   “Exactly!” Zapp rubbed his chin. “It seems you aren’t quite as stupid as the rest of your hideous species. Keep exercising logic like that and you’ll be on the fast-track to Lieutenant.”
   Kif groaned and buried his head in his hands as Zapp swung back to the forward viewscreen.
   “Helmsman!” he called. “Bring us into the atmosphere and begin… some kind of scanning thing – find me the ship that got through the blockade! I want those smugglers served up to me on a platter with some flat bread and an assortment of cheese… and olives… and maybe some sliced salami. Kif – make my lunch!”

Space Pope
« Reply #17 on: 10-16-2006 09:24 »

Originally posted by coldangel_1:
“Ooooh! I love my Captain!” Amy cried

Aww, like Kaylee  big grin
Originally posted by coldangel_1:
“Bender – launch the cry-baby.”

And I recognise that as well.

There, now there's somebody who understands your Firefly references, even though I can't remember much of it anyway.

Also; Hi. (Do you think I managed to stay on-topic enough?)

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #18 on: 10-16-2006 09:27 »

Awww, you did make an account. Now there's nowhere you can't find me...
Anywho, good to have someone who understands my Firefly references. You are welcome, little one.

Space Pope
« Reply #19 on: 10-16-2006 09:33 »

I know. I'm going to be your stalker now. The world's best stalker! Muahaha!

All I need now is a telescope...or a smelloscope...Or both.

At least the Bender statue looks like Bender. I didn't think the one they had of Jayne looked like Jayne at all..

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #20 on: 10-16-2006 09:39 »

He seemed to have a moustache. Perhaps he sported facial hair when he was living on that planet.

Space Pope
« Reply #21 on: 10-16-2006 09:46 »

Perhaps. Perhaps he was also made of clay.
Bending Unit 99

Bending Unit
« Reply #22 on: 10-16-2006 10:56 »

firefly... firefly...
nope doesn't ring a bell, but you have updated, which means yay!

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #23 on: 10-16-2006 12:20 »

More NOW!!!!!!!!!

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #24 on: 10-16-2006 12:35 »

NOTE - the song in this part is mostly adapted from one sung in the Firefly episode 'Jaynestown'; I have reconfigured it a bit. However, the first verse is all mine, and I think it's pretty natty.


Fry, Leela, and Amy were the only humans in the establishment. They were the only organic lifeforms for that matter, and their entrance cause a lot of the robot drinkers to look up in suspicion.
   “Hi!” Amy said brightly, waving at the small gathering of slave-bots. There was no response, just baleful stares from cracked and faded optical sensors.
   “Just watch it with that cheerful bimbo crap,” Bender whispered in her ear. “These folk view flesh-piles like you three as representatives of the system that oppresses them – so get real meek real fast or you’ll soon find out what the inside of a meat-grinder looks like.”
   Amy swallowed hard and followed the others, making sure to keep her eyes downcast. The four friends slid into a dusty booth, with Bender pressing himself into the shadows against the wall.
   “Well this is cosy,” Fry said, draping his arm around Leela’s shoulders. “Maybe Bender can use his local fame to scrounge us up some free drinks?”
   “No way!” Bender hissed. “And stop saying my name out loud, bone-bag! You wanna bring this whole planet down on our heads?”
   “We don’t want a lot of attention, good or bad,” Leela seconded, leaning against Fry and resting her head on his shoulder. Amy looked away, suddenly uncomfortable but unable to understand why.
   In the distance a siren howled, signalling the end of a shift at whatever factories were still operating under the trade embargo. At length, the battered multi-limbed bartender wheeled over to them and spoke in a deliberately put-upon manner. “What’ll it be?”
   “Tankard of juice,” Bender said instantly. The others glanced at him in puzzlement.
   “Do you have any, uhh… human food?” Amy asked.
   “Vending machine in the back,” the bartender replied gruffly. “If you want anything more you can go back to the corporate district where you belong, human.”
   With that, he wheeled away.
   “Friendly fella,” Fry observed.
   When the android returned with a jug of dark liquid and four mugs, Leela reached out and caught one of his arms.
   “Please,” she said. “We’re looking for someone named Vassiliev. I wonder if you can help us get in contact with him?”
   The bartender stared at the cyclops for a long moment, and then glanced around the dim interior. “You with the DOOP?” he asked suspiciously.
   Leela shook her head. “We’re a private company,” she said. “We have a ship on the surface and we’re looking to take on cargo.”
   The robot measured her up for a few moments longer before coming to a decision. He nodded once. “I’ll put out the word,” he said, and then moved away.
   “Spluh!” Amy spat. “Anyone would think we were buying drugs!”
   “Drugs would be fine,” Leela replied, settling comfortably back against Fry. “Drugs don’t chip into the profits of the DOOP and the big Multi-Planetary companies that finance and supply them… that is, until DOOP starts dealing drugs themselves.” A note of disgust entered her voice as she spoke about the amoral interstellar economics.
   “That’s right,” Bender said. “Could be little fluffy teddy-bears – if it snatches profit from the big boys they’ll just make it illegal. Smart people, I like their style.”
   “Bender, these robots – YOUR people – are suffering,” Fry said, frowning at the robot. “Don’t you care?”
   “Ahh, people always suffer. That’s life. You take what you get handed and make whatever you can of it.”
   The four of them lapsed into a moody silence as a large group of robots entered the establishment after finishing their shift. Their state of disrepair was obvious – mismatched replacement limbs, pop-riveted plates covering rust holes in their casing. Maintenance clearly wasn’t a high priority.
   Bender drank a few mugs of the ‘juice’. Fry tried some and nearly choked.
   “Yeah, I wouldn’t recommend it,” Bender said, watching the delivery boy gasp for breath as his throat burnt. “It’s fifty percent alcohol, forty-nine percent lubricant oil, and one percent more alcohol.”
   Fry coughed and spluttered and Leela patted his back.
   “You could have warned him,” she told Bender angrily.
   “Yeah, I could have… sure…” Bender said with a chuckle.
   A note suddenly rang out across the room, and the PE crew looked up; a skinny green sorting robot had climbed onto a rudimentary stage and was strumming a five-stringed guitar. As the first notes of a song rang out, the gathering of workers erupted into cheering.
   “Bennnnnder!” the guitarist sang, and Bender froze with the mug halfway to his mouth.
   “Bender… Bender the people’s defender,
   He never gave up, never lay down – never did surrender!
   When the man with the coin brought his big boot down,
   On the broken, wasted masses…
   He stood his ground, and shouted loud:
   The crew looked around in surprise as the whole bar shouted the line in unison, with righteous passion. Bender seemed to shrink into his seat.
   “Our Bender saw the robots’ backs breakin’,
   He saw the robots lament.
   And he saw the supervisor takin’,
   Every dollar and ev-er-y cent.
   So he said: ‘you can’t do that to my people!’
   Said: ‘you can’t crush us under-your-heel!’
   So he lit his cigar,
   And in five seconds flat,
   Stole everything the bastard had to steal!”
   Fry, Leela, and Amy stared hard at their robot friend, and he shrugged helplessly as the song continued.
“Now here is what separates heroes,
From common folk like you and I:
The ‘bot they call Bender,
He turned 'round his plane,
And let that money hit sky.
He dropped it onto our houses,
He dropped it into our yards.
The ‘bot they called Bender,
Gave us that legal tender,
And headed out for the stars!”
   The singer lurched back into the first verse, and Bender groaned and slumped forward, banging his face on the table.
   “Oh crap on a circuit-board!” he growled. “Now it all makes sense!”
   “Yeh-soo, ta ma duh…!” Amy rapped he knuckles on Bender’s cranial casing. “What? What is it all about?”
   The bar-room crowd finished the song with another hearty shout of “BITE OUR SHINY METAL ASSES,” and Bender leaned in close to the others to explain.
   “When I was here seven years ago I pulled a job on the planet supervisor,” he whispered. “The guy’s personal takings for a year – had to be at least twenty million in untraceable bullion. But on my way out I got hit by anti-aircraft fire and I was going down – I needed to shed some weight or I’d be a smear on the ground or a chump in a cell, so I had to toss the strong box. DAMN IT!” He punched the table savagely.
   “It must have fallen here,” he went on. “Probably let these people live it up for a few years… can you imagine? The things I could have done with that money…”
   “Well Bender,” Leela put her hand on his. “For what it’s worth, you inadvertently did a good deed.”
   “Don’t rub it in!”
   Across the room, a small child robot was watching the group of strangers in the corner booth. The little unit fixed on the robot that was talking with the three fleshies. He narrowed his eyes and quietly rushed out of the bar.

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #25 on: 10-16-2006 12:40 »


DOOP Secretary
« Reply #26 on: 10-16-2006 12:51 »

Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #27 on: 10-16-2006 19:22 »


Just read all of it! It's spectacular! Can't wait to see how all the events turn out.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #28 on: 10-16-2006 23:26 »

Can't take full credit. I am adapting an episode of Firefly, although I've greatly altered the context and background and added a lot of other content, I still have to credit Joss Whedon and the writers at 'Mutant Enemy'.
Tell you what though, it's actually rather difficult; I'm just doing it from memory.

Did you like the song, BTW? I thought it was real cunning. Like I said, that first verse is entirely mine.

Space Pope
« Reply #29 on: 10-17-2006 06:11 »

Heh heh, bite our shiny metal asses.
Was this taken from your poetic mood, or did your poetic mood spring from it?
Starship Captain
« Reply #30 on: 10-17-2006 06:27 »

Poetry and literary discussions on the nature of the Muse... and here's me, lowering the tone...

Tell me I'm not the only one who saw the position/colour of the tips of the steering column wheel in this pic:

and giggled like a randy 12 year old schoolboy  tongue

That's my pick of the story so far (only pic I've seen where removing coverups makes it _less_ naughty!), but enjoying the whole thing a whole lot  smile

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #31 on: 10-17-2006 06:33 »

Maz -
It was part of the scene,
If you know what I mean.
But I'm not really a poet,
And don't you just know it.

Good grief, man! That was completely unintentional! Red buttons on top of control yokes should make 'BOOM', not 'BOOB'.
But now I shall giggle as well.

Space Pope
« Reply #32 on: 10-17-2006 07:57 »

Originally posted by coldangel_1:
Maz -
It was part of the scene,
If you know what I mean.
But I'm not really a poet,
And don't you just know it.
You have your moments.

And  laff, someone more in-tune with spotting "things" than you!

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #33 on: 10-17-2006 09:57 »

“It’s like looking for a haystack in a king-sized bed full of needles,” Zapp said, gazing at the complex topographical data that swept past on the main viewscreen. “What the hell are we looking for on this God-forsaken sexless planet anyway?”
   Kif grunted in incredulity. “The blockade runner, sir,” he said in exasperation. “The one you were determined to find several short minutes ago.”
   “I can’t be expected to keep track of all my grand ambitions, Kif.” Brannigan stood up and adjusted his toupee. “Just find the damn thing so we can get our velure-draped asses out of this quadrant.”
   “I don’t think it’s going to be quite as simple as all that, sir,” Kif replied.
   “What!? How dare you!?”
   “Euuh… the heavy industry that covers the planet’s surface is causing a severe field of electromagnetic flux that’s being conducted by particulate matter in the atmosphere. There is simply too much electrical activity for us to pinpoint residual engine emanations – we would have to be within five-hundred feet of a ship before we’d read anything… that’s not to mention the fact that the vessel, if it is on the planet, is surrounded by machinery and as such its mass will be indistinguishable from the…”
   “Oh, enough!” Zapp interrupted wearily, shoving a gloved hand in Kif’s face. “If I wanted to hear a bunch of mumbo-jumbo I’d… I’d talk to the officer in charge of mumbo-jumbo! Where is Keith, anyway?”
   An ensign spoke up: “Ah, he’s in the med-bay. Came down with the flu.”
   “Whatever – the point is this isn’t rocket science, it’s STARSHIP science.” Zapp hammered his fist into an open palm to emphasize the point. “And that’s the simplest science of them all…”
   Kif sighed expressively. “Actually sir, it’s surprisingly complex.”
   “Kif, if I wanted to be contradicted I’d talk to the officer in charge of contradictions!”
   “There is no such position that I’m aware of, sir.”
   “Exactly!” Zapp poked Kif in the chest, leaving an indentation. “That’s because Brannigan is never wrong!” he said.
   Kif suddenly saw red. His right eye twitched and he balled his fists. “Never wrong?!” he seethed through clenched teeth. “You’re just a complete…”
   Zapp’s eyes widened and he stepped closer, looming over the diminutive alien. “Something to say, Lieutenant?” he demanded, his voice dangerously quiet.
   “Uh… I, er…” Kif’s camouflage reflex kicked in, turning him semi-transparent as he shrunk away from the Captain. “Nothing, sir.”
   Brannigan glared down on him for a few moments longer. “Well then good,” he said finally. “Now bring us down to the surface – we’re going to meet with the planet supervisor and see what he can tell us about illegal smuggling operations.”
   The mammoth great block of Titanium and weaponry that was the Nimbus dove down through the gloomy atmosphere, carving a tremendous wake with its passage. The last remaining flock of a near-extinct species of native bird happened to be migrating and was sucked entirely into one of the DOOP ship’s atmospheric engine intakes, exiting as a dark cloud of charred feather fragments.

More than an hour had passed, and the four PE crew were still sitting in their corner booth, waiting for their contact to arrive. There was nothing else for them to do, though thankfully the multi-limbed bartender had managed to produce some low-grade beer that wasn’t lethal to humans.
   Amy couldn’t shake the nagging discomfort she felt every time Fry and Leela touched one another. As much as she wanted to be happy for her friends, she couldn’t deny she was jealous; that much was obvious. The real question was why. She told herself that it was only that Kif was so far away, and Amy herself was lonely – seeing Fry and Leela together made her want badly for someone to hold her… But aside from that, there was something else, something slightly more complex that she couldn’t put her finger on because she was a little drunk.
   The beers, though coarse and bitter, had done their job after Amy had downed five in fairly rapid succession to try to escape her discomfort.
   Now she began to giggle uncontrollably when the ‘band’ started playing the Bender theme song again.
   “Bender… Bender the people’s defender!” she sang along. “He never gave up, never lay down – never did surrender!” She laughed breathlessly and draped herself onto the robot, patting him on the belly.
   “Get the hell off me, bonebag,” Bender snapped. “Bad enough I have to sit in a room full of idiots who love me.”
   Amy didn’t hear. “Heyyy, Bender,” she slurred. “How ‘bout next mission we go to the little planet where I’M a folk hero?”
   “Oh, you mean planet Hussy, in the Ditz system?”
   “What?” Amy narrowed one eye. “Thaths not a real place…” She reached for the jug again, but Leela slid it away from her.
   “You’ve had enough,” the cyclops said firmly.
   “Oh come on, zhu tou!”
   “We’re trying to maintain a low profile.”
   Amy pouted. “Jeez Leela,” she grumbled. “First you take my boyfriend and now my booze…” As soon as she realized what she just said she regretted the words; she gaped and spluttered, trying to come up with something to say, to apologise or rephrase, but her alcohol-fuddled brain wasn’t able to formulate anything. Fry and Leela stared at her in shock.
   “Whoo-hoo-hoo!” Bender chirped happily, breaking the silence.
   “Oh God… you guys, I’m so sorry!” Amy whispered. She stood up from the booth and hurried off. Leela called after her to no avail.
   “Damn it,” Leela said, glancing at Fry. “Does she still have feelings for you?”
   “It’d be news to me,” Fry replied, still dumbfounded. “I thought that was all ancient history… I mean, she’s in love with Kif, right?”
   “If I was you, Fry – I’d let the two of them fight over you!” Bender said helpfully.
   “I better go talk to her,” Leela said, getting to her feet. She started across the bar-room, but stopped when she noticed a tall grey-haired human male walking across the floor toward her. The hook-nosed stranger approached and stopped in front of her.
   “You the folks been askin’ ‘bout Vassiliev?” he asked gruffly.
   “That’s right,” Leela replied. “We were sent by a man named Hubert Farnsworth.”
   “So you’d be Planet Express, then?”
   “That’s right. Are you Vassiliev?”
   “Nope, I’m Drupev – you don’t get to meet Vassiliev ‘til mornin’. Eight sharp – be at this location, and bring the money.” He handed Leela a card with a location hand-written on it. “In the meantime,” he went on, “y’all keep to yourselves and don’t cause no ruckus. There’s spies from both the DOOP and the supervisor been flittin’ round these parts of late.”
   “We’ll be careful.” Leela nodded and pocketed the card.
   Drupev moved away from them and Bender surged to his feet. “Alright, I’m not gonna spend another minute in this creepy-ass centre of Bender-worship. Let’s get the hell out of here.”
“Yeah, we need to find Amy anyway,” Fry said. “I hope she’s okay.”
 Fry and Leela followed him through the room and out the doorway. When they stepped onto the street they stopped in their tracks and stood frozen to the spot. Spread out before them was a large crowd of worker robots of all shapes and sizes, forming a circle around the bar entrance. In the front of the ranks was the little child robot that had recognised Bender, the great legend whose statue loomed behind the crowd.
   “Uhh…” Fry glanced around. “Is this good or bad?” he asked.
   “I think we’re boned,” Bender replied.
   As one, the crowd suddenly burst into tumultuous cheering and applauding.
   “He’s back!” one of the robots shouted joyously.
   “The hero of Botany is back!!”
   Bender turned around and fled straight back into the bar.

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #34 on: 10-17-2006 11:55 »

More more more, I love this, all the jeaulousy and mystery. I demand more...please

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #35 on: 10-17-2006 12:00 »

I'm surprising myself with this one actually - the best parts aren't even drawn from Firefly at all.

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #36 on: 10-17-2006 12:48 »

ARRRRRRRRRRRRR, you deny me my story fix for another day *collaspes*
Why do you torture me so

Bending Unit
« Reply #37 on: 10-17-2006 17:13 »

I'm loving this story, and I've heard of Firefly, always wanted to see it, but always forgot about it, until after it was over, then I'd be mad. Then it was canceled. Oh, well.
Love Bender's reaction to all of this!

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #38 on: 10-17-2006 20:00 »

Wow, man. I love you.  love
Very interesting plot so far, dude. Way back in the beginning, when Bender ditched that guy, it sent shivers up my spine. An excellant and malicious piece. Great stuff so far, man.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #39 on: 10-18-2006 01:59 »

Dirty deeds have a way of coming back and biting you in the shiny metal ass. Of course, throughout the series Bender gained a lot of humanity to counter his overriding evil. That prologue was set two years before he even met Fry, so he was something of a scumbag.

More to come tonight-ish.

LuvFry - BUY THE DVD BOXSET! I promise you, you won't regret it. Honest to God - it is one of the most brilliant pieces of television you will ever see. There are only 14 episodes and you can get it fairly cheap. Then get 'Serenity', the movie that follows on from the series. It'll blow your mind. Please, if not for yourself, then do it for me - the more people who buy these DVDs the better the chance of a resurrection of the series.
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