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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    The Real Decoy (illustrated) - by coldangel_1 « previous next »
Author Topic: The Real Decoy (illustrated) - by coldangel_1  (Read 1539 times)
Pages: 1 [2] 3 Print

Bending Unit
« Reply #40 on: 10-03-2006 00:53 »
« Last Edit on: 10-03-2006 00:53 »

Love the way its developing!   big grin

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #41 on: 10-03-2006 01:45 »

Funny how fictional starship combat always seems to have a lot in common with WW2-era submarine combat, far more than it does with air-to-air.

« Reply #42 on: 10-03-2006 09:20 »

Yes, I rather noticed that...

Love it by the way, and love the illustrations too!

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #43 on: 10-03-2006 12:21 »
« Last Edit on: 10-06-2006 00:00 by coldangel_1 »

Fry, Leela, and Hermes took up positions behind the makeshift barricade, picking up weapons and digging in for a firefight. Fry chose a pair of laser pistols, while the others selected plasma rifles. Zoidberg could be heard whimpering somewhere behind them – he’d be useless in a gun-battle anyway, his pincers quite unable to work a trigger mechanism.
   “Set weapons to low power,” Leela instructed. “We don’t want to blow a hole in the bulkhead.”
   “Or do we…?” Fry pondered. “No… no, we don’t.”
   Leela raised one side of her eyebrow at him. “They’ll be expecting vacuum in here,” she went on. “But as soon as they access the airlock controls they’ll see the cabin is still pressurized, so there’ll be no element of surprise.”
   “Maybe not,” Fry said, “but coming through that airlock they’ll be in a bottleneck, and if fighting in the DOOP army taught me anything, it’s that a bottleneck is not a good place to be. I had my tongue caught in a bottle for nearly two hours! The other soldiers laughed at me and wouldn’t help me get it out… God what a senseless war that was…”
   Hermes looked away and moaned. “Sweet horsefly of Narrabri,” he said. “I’m fighting for my life alongside a moron…”
   “Hey - don’t you talk about Leela like that!”
   They all looked up at the dull thump that heralded the docking of a smaller craft to the PE ship’s airlock. Crouching down behind their defensive position, they prepped their weapons and waited expectantly as the airlock cycled.

The damaged engine cone was still radiating heat, and the electromagnetic leakage became stronger the closer bender got. He climbed awkwardly past the rim of the cone and started down the ‘dish’ face. The damage done by the Xylogen attack was plainly visible as a dark smudge across the surface, at the centre of which the metal had been shorn apart and three of the crystal lenses that dotted the engine cone were cracked beyond repair. Thin tendrils of plasma leaked from within, and the occasional arc of residual electrical charge played across them and out into space.
   Bender tossed his cigar away, and it went spiralling into the darkness. Using the lenses as handholds, he climbed down the face of the engine until he reached the damaged section. With one hand, he opened the toolbox and fished around inside for a socket piece, but a sudden burst of electricity arced out and hit him, causing his servomotors to constrict. The resulting spasm sent the toolbox flying away into space.
   “Oh damn you!” he spat. Growling and muttering further, he set about working the heavy-duty screws with his three-fingered manipulator claws. It was going to be painstaking work since most of the screws had superheated and partially melted into the engine casing.

The airlock revolved with a hiss, and from within a cloud of vapour, the Xylogen boarding party moved forward…
   “What the…?!” Fry almost laughed.
   “Jeez-Louise, they’re…” Leela gaped in astonishment.
   They were the size of hamsters. Armour-plated and bristling with weapons, but no more than a few inches high.

   “Don’t let their size fool you!” Hermes warned through clenched teeth. “Those little bastards have obliterated entire civilizations!”
   “What, what’s going on?” Zoidberg moved out from his hiding place and looked upon the attacking force. “Oh, they’re so adorable!” he crooned. “Like a clutch of hatchlings – to think I was so afraid of these little…”
   “Zoidberg ya demented shellfish, get down!” Hermes yelled. Too late.
   The diminutive Xylogen force opened fire with their miniature energy pulse rifles, and Zoidberg was struck in the thorax by a sizzling barrage. He was thrown backwards by the combined blast, and charred viscera was blasted across the hold with the scent of boiled lobster.
   When he hit the deck he was in two pieces.

   “Oh my God!” Fry shouted shrilly. “They killed Zoidberg!”
   “YOU BASTARDS!” Leela seconded.
   Then the gunfight started in earnest. The three Planet Express crew firing from their sheltered position down upon the tiny alien fighters that scuttled rapidly back and fourth across the deck. The humans scored a lot of hits, but most of the Xylogen troops got back up and kept going, their ablative armour protecting them from the blasts.
   Fry, Leela, and Hermes were forced to fall back as their barricade was quickly blown apart.
   “To hell with this,” Fry growled, switching his laser pistols back to full-power against Leela’s advice. He opened up wildly against the insect-like creatures that were flowing across the floor, blasting them and the deck plates into glowing molten patches.
   “Fry, be careful!” Leela warned.
   “There’ll be time to be careful when we’re dead!” he replied.
   The Xylogens fell back momentarily, but then counter-attacked in a pincer movement, unconcerned by how many of their own number was lost. One of the aliens leapt high into the air and landed on Fry’s face. It clung there, hissing and trying to slash at his eyes with multiple blade appendages. As Fry flailed frantically, Leela expertly swung the butt of her rifle and caught the creature, sending it spinning away. She twirled the rifle around and followed through with a plasma shot that took out the alien before it even hit the deck.
   Slowly, the three of them were forced back and back.

Bender cast away the last damaged lens unit and climbed back up the engine and onto the main fuselage. One look down the length of the hull showed him that the enemy shuttle had docked at the airlock.
   “Oh, this bends!” he griped, trying to think of another way back into the ship. A thought struck him, and he started off toward the bow. Progress was slow, moving with the aid of the suction pads, and the thought of his friends in peril made Bender growl in frustration. Reaching the lower starboard stabilizer fin, he came to a decision. He moved out onto the fin and positioned himself on the leading edge. Electronic butterflies fluttered in his stomach simulator as he prepared for his next move – the last time he’d found himself at the mercy of zero gravity in deep space had been a long and painful journey. If he misjudged this, he could find himself on another lonely tumble into the cosmos.
   Getting his feet under him he braced for a few seconds and then, with an anticipatory squeak of terror, pushed himself off the fin.

   Thankfully, his aim was straight. He sailed along silently, floating past the enemy shuttlecraft and noting the flash of weapons fire showing through the portholes. The nose of the ship drew near, and he extended his arms, stretching them out to near their full length to catch hold of the ship’s red ‘running board’ strip. Using his forward momentum he was able to swing himself down under the nose, where he gently touched down and applied his suction pads.
   Breathing a mental sigh of relief, he moved to one of the torpedo launch tubes and knelt to begin prising the cover open.

Bending Unit
« Reply #44 on: 10-03-2006 19:27 »

You're keeping me on the edge of my seat!
Is Zoidberg really dead?

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #45 on: 10-03-2006 21:25 »
« Last Edit on: 10-03-2006 21:25 by coldangel_1 »

Originally posted by LuvFry:
Is Zoidberg really dead?

Is Hermes really that lucky?

Heh heh, did you like that the aliens turned out to be tiny? I thought that was a stroke of genius.

Bending Unit
« Reply #46 on: 10-04-2006 05:41 »

Haha yeah! The aliens being tiny was good! I definately didn't see that coming!

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #47 on: 10-04-2006 08:23 »

I thought of it while I was sampling random unlabelled pills my house's previous occupants left in the medicine cabinet.

Bending Unit
« Reply #48 on: 10-04-2006 09:51 »

Yeah...keep tidbits like that to yourself...
I thought it was hilarious that the aliens were tiny! Keep up the good work!

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #49 on: 10-04-2006 10:08 »

They kept coming, attacking in waves. They fired their tiny guns and twirled their tiny blades, screaming battle-cries as they leapt into the fray, meeting their death against the humans’ weapons one after the other.
   The three Planet Express crew had scrambled past the two halves of Zoidberg and taken some small amount of refuge behind the DOOP crates.
   “Tenacious little monsters!” Leela gasped, ducking back behind cover and dropping her uselessly overheated rifle. “They just don’t give up!”
   “Yeah? Well we’re much less… giving-up…ish… than they are,” Fry said, briefly confusing himself.
   “Maybe if we sacrifice Fry to them, they’ll let the rest of us live,” Hermes suggested.
   “Hey, yeah – it worked with those IRS auditors.” Fry stepped forward. “I’ll do it,” he said. “For the greater good.”
   “Nobody’s getting sacrificed!” Leela snapped, then cringed when a small lump of Zoidberg fell from the ceiling and slid off her shoulder. “Err… nobody else, I mean.”
   They all ducked when a volley of energy blasts spattered into the crate near their heads. The burst of gunfire ripped apart several planks and the side of the crate split open suddenly, falling to the deck and releasing a small landslide of brownish rectangular objects.
   The Xylogen boarding party and the Planet Express crew both stopped to look at the pile in surprise. It seemed that the DOOP crate was filled entirely with…
   “Mud bricks?” Hermes said, looking closely at the pile of objects on the deck. “What in the name of Jah is going on here?”
   “Where’s the superweapon?” Leela wondered.
   “Wait, I think I get it,” Fry said. “Mud bricks are these guys’ secret weakness!” He picked up one of the bricks and hurled it at a nearby Xylogen. It hit the alien and split in half on its carapace, leaving the creature unharmed.
   “No Fry,” Leela said. “I see what’s going on - we’ve been duped. We weren’t commandeered to transport their weapon – we were used as a decoy!”
   “HUMANS!” one of the creatures screamed up from the floor. “Where is the weapon?”
   “We don’t have it,” Leela replied, leaning down to address the tiny attacker. “It isn’t on this ship.”
   The Xylogen glared up at her balefully with its three red eyes. “Very well,” it hissed. “In that case – DIE!”
   Fry grabbed Leela by the back of her tank top and yanked her away just in time to avoid a face full of energy pulse. He pulled her close to him and fired an answering burst from his laser pistol at the attacking aliens. Leela grabbed another laser pistol that Fry had tucked into his waist band, then dropped to a couch and began shooting.

   “Why are you still fighting us?!” she screamed at the enemy. “We haven’t got what you want! This is pointless!”
   The Xylogen didn’t hear or didn’t care. They kept coming, forcing Fry, Leela, and Hermes back toward the back of the cargo hold. Along the way, they blasted open the other two crates to find them similarly filled with stacks of low-grade mud brick that would have been better employed in third-world housing programs.
   Hermes stumbled on an uneven deck plate, and was unable to avoid one of the enemy’s shots that caught him a glancing blow to the side of his head. He fell unconscious, with a blackened welt along his right temple and a large portion of his dreadlocks burnt away.
   Fry and Leela didn’t have a chance to tend to their fallen friend – they’d found themselves pressed back into a corner and surrounded by the little spider-like space demons. It was suddenly very quiet, and the Xylogen paused expectantly, as though savouring their victory. Fry edged in front of Leela, putting himself between her and the aliens.
   “Well Captain,” he said quietly as he glared down at the ring of deadly enemies, “it’s been an honour and a privilege. And I wouldn’t change a thing… except the part where we got blasted to pieces by tiny little monsters.”
   “Oh Fry…” Leela gripped his shoulder. “There’s so much I wanted to say to you… but I kept putting it off… and now I may never get the chance. Fry… I don’t want to die without telling you… that I lo…”
   The coarse shout echoed around the cargo hold and the Xylogen troops turned just in time to see an irate bending robot launch into their midst and begin stomping furiously, crushing one alien after another into pungent yellow ooze on the deck.
   “Hey, this is kinda fun!” Bender said. “Like stomping grapes to make wine… hey I wonder if we can ferment these critters?”
   “Nice going, jerkwad,” Fry said angrily as he used the distraction to rally from the corner and fire on the Xylogen. “She was about to tell me she loved me – couldn’t you have waited five seconds?”
   “Oh well excuuuuuse me!” Bender snapped, kicking one of the aliens across the hold. “Maybe I’ll just let you get fried next time!”
   The tables turned, and the battle quickly became a rout. With their numbers depleted, the Xylogen troops were unable to hold back the PE crew, and one by one they died. The last one left standing fired off a wild blast from his energy rifle while stumbling backwards. A lucky shot struck the robot square in the chest and blew him to pieces.
   “NOO!” Fry screamed, reaching out to catch Bender’s head.
   Leela rounded on the remaining Xylogen, whose gun had expended its energy reserve. The little creature looked up into the barrel of Leela’s laser and cleared one of its throats.
   “I will accept your unconditional surrender,” it announced, trying to sound as threatening as possible.
   Leela narrowed her eye.
   “Bite my shiny metal ass,” she said, and pulled the trigger.
   And then it was over.
   “Get your own damn material, big boots,” said Bender’s head, sounding groggy.
   “Bender, you’re alive!” Fry said.
   “My head is. I don’t think the rest of me’s gonna be disco dancin’ for a while.” They looked down at the charred and dented remains of Bender’s body lying amid scores of splattered Xylogens.
   Leela moved to where Hermes lay and began inspecting the burn on his head.
   “Is he okay?” Fry asked.
   “His breathing is steady,” she replied. “And the burn seems to be only superficial. Help me get him to the medibay.”
   “Oh sure,” Bender griped from under Fry’s arm. “I’m just a head, but lets all help the guy with the little burn.”
   “Yes, let’s all help the ethnic minority!” another voice chimed in. “Meanwhile, I’m lying here in two pieces – and I have a splinter in my egg sack.”
   “Oh my God!” Leela breathed. “Zoidberg!?” She raced over to where the top half of the lobster lay, leaking various fluids from where the lower part of his torso should have been attached.
   “Does it hurt?” she asked, not knowing what to do.
   “Not as much as it does when you forget my birthday!” Zoidberg folded his arms indignantly. “But I do seem to be dying. As a final request, I would like a bronze statue of me to adorn every street corner and…”
   “What can we do?” Fry asked.
   “Ugh.” The Doctor rippled his mouth appendages. “The medical facilities on this vessel are woefully inadequate. I demanded new equipment from the Professor, but does anyone ever listen to Zoidberg?”
   “What about the Nimbus?” Fry asked Leela.
   “It would have the capacity and expertise to treat a Decapodian,” she confirmed. “But even if I can get the engine going on half capacity it’ll still be days before we reach the Xylogen system. He’s not going to last that long.”
   “Hmmm…” Fry narrowed his eyes and stroked his chin. “Unless…”

Bending Unit
« Reply #50 on: 10-04-2006 10:42 »

I'll get started on those bronze statues...

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #51 on: 10-04-2006 11:23 »
« Last Edit on: 10-06-2006 00:00 by coldangel_1 »

It had been quite a task, but they had finally managed to cram both halves of Zoidberg into the ship’s refrigerator to keep him fresh until they could locate a suitable medical team. The crustacean hadn’t been too keen on the idea, and even in his injured and woozy state he’d managed to rip a few holes in Fry’s jacket before they’d gotten the door shut.
   “Don’t worry about it,” Fry told Leela and Bender while he patted the fridge door. “Being frozen isn’t so bad. It’s kinda like going to sleep… on a glacier.”
   Hermes was propped up on a bed in the medibay tanked out on morphine with a cellular regeneration pack strapped over one side of his head. And Bender’s body had been collected and placed in a pile in one corner.
   “Oh that reminds me,” the robot’s head said from the floor. “You guys wanna go check in my chest compartment? I got a gift to send to our friends out there.”
   “Is it just from you, or can we put all our names on it?” Fry asked.
   Leela reached into the robot’s disembodied torso and pulled out a bulky spherical object.
   “Bender, this is the warhead from the torpedo we dismantled.” Her eye went wide and she smiled wickedly, then turned and raced to the airlock where the enemy shuttlecraft was still docked. Without hesitating, she stepped through and into the dim pungent interior of the Xylogen craft. The ceiling was very low, forcing her to stoop.
   She set the warhead down and activated its timer mechanism, selecting ten minutes. Then, using a pair of eyelash tweezers from her pocket, she manipulated the tiny controls on the shuttle’s piloting console, having to strain her eye to make out the diagrams on the little screen. Finding the alien craft’s autopilot, she set it to return to the mothership, hit the activation button on the warhead, then quickly dashed back through the airlock as it began to cycle closed.
   With a small puff of delta-V, the sleek little shuttlecraft pushed away from the Planet Express ship and began to trawl slowly back toward the dark frigate that loomed beyond, carrying with it the ticking timebomb.
   Leela rejoined Fry, and together they made their way up to the bridge.
   “You managed to remove those damaged lenses?” Leela asked as she dropped down into the Captain’s chair.
   “Yeah, yeah,” Bender replied from under Fry’s arm. “As usual I’m the only one who can get anything done around here.”

   Fry set Bender’s head down on an empty seat and deliberately tightened a restraint harness over the robot’s mouth. He went on an angry, muffled rant.
   Leela brought the systems back online and tracked the progress of the automated shuttlecraft on the short-range radar. It was nearing the mothership.
   “Let’s give this a try,” she muttered to herself, gingerly selecting engine control and opening up the remaining reactor on minimum power. There was a deep hum and a slight vibration in the deck as the jerry-rigged power conversion apparatus struggled with the power load. And she hadn’t even lit the thrusters yet – the engine room would need a full radioactive decontamination when they got to the Nimbus.
   A power load warning alarm went off, and Fry reached up from his station and silenced it.
   “Leela, are we going to explode?” he queried quietly.
   “Possibly,” she replied. “Most of our engine is now held together by duct tape, and half the components in it are designed to move a mass one thousandth the size of this ship.”
   “Plus as soon as we engage the engine the bad guys are gonna start blasting us again, right?”
   Leela smiled grimly. “Oh, they’ll have other things to worry about,” she said.
   The shuttlecraft entered the main hanger bay of the dark frigate, moving deep inside to the docking terminal. Leela glanced at the time readout on her wrist thingy and edged up the power on the reactor, feeling the ship respond with an unhealthy quiver. Still she didn’t ignite the main engine – she was waiting for the right moment.
   The warhead inside the shuttlecraft reached the end of its countdown, and the antimatter inside its containment sphere was released to impact normal matter, triggering a massive release of energy. From outside, it looked as though a new star had suddenly been born inside the Xylogen ship’s hanger bay.
   “Now!” Leela said through clenched teeth. She activated the main engine, and the PE ship lurched forward with a violent buck, trailing a dirty cloud of isotopes.

   The soft, unprotected innards of the alien frigate were torn asunder by the violent explosion that was amplified by its confinement. Entire decks were vaporized in the initial blast, and then the thermonuclear fire found its way to the rows of fuel tanks, and a secondary series of explosions ripped the ship apart from within.
   In the bridge of the vessel, the commander scrabbled back and fourth in hysterics.
   <<What is happening?>> he shrieked. <<What’s going on!?>>
   <<We are defeated!>> the first mate told him. <<We must escape!>>
   The commander drew himself up. <<Never!>> he said. <<A commander never abandons his ship, you coward.>> As he spoke, he was removing his ceremonial sash of command. With slow, deliberate motions, he hung the sash on the first mate’s neck, and then pushed past him and hurried away.
   The first mate groaned and slumped his three shoulders as the ship shuddered violently and plumes of fire erupted from splits in the walls.
   As the dark frigate was engulfed in a final devastating eruption of fire and plasma, the Planet Express ship chugged away.

Bending Unit
« Reply #52 on: 10-04-2006 13:57 »

I was wondering what you were gonna do about the good doctor...

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #53 on: 10-04-2006 14:21 »

Why does the alien commander sound like Zapp and the first mate spound like Kif? Clool touch

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #54 on: 10-04-2006 22:11 »

Because in every starfleet in the Universe there's a giant jerk in charge with a put-upon lackey suffering beneath him. The Universe is comprised of patterns; the same thing repeating over and over.
Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #55 on: 10-04-2006 23:32 »

Except Zapp wouldn't send fire at the PE ship. Maybe arrest them, but definately not fire to destroy...
I think that's because of Leela though.

Fantastic story!

LuvFry> I'll get started on those bronze statues...

I'll help you!

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #56 on: 10-05-2006 10:49 »
« Last Edit on: 10-06-2006 00:00 by coldangel_1 »

It's not finished BTW...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: there's one more post to go after this next nauseatingly smulchy one. Also, I have gone through and upgraded the illustrations slightly - I added some crappy primative shading effects and also reduced the file sizes slightly to assist people with dialup connections.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #57 on: 10-06-2006 01:02 »
« Last Edit on: 10-06-2006 01:02 by coldangel_1 »

As Gene Roddenberry had written more than a thousand years before, space truly was the final frontier. What he’d failed to mention, however, was that the frontier was a rough, brutal place where pain and death lurked behind every star and you had to bleed and hurt and grit your teeth just to make your way in the Universe.
   In all fairness though, Roddenberry never actually went to space until after he died.
   But despite all the terror and chaos and unreasoning hatred that went on in the vastness of space, none of those concerns could take away the beauty… the majestic brilliance of it all.
   Fry found himself once again staring out at the cosmos in wonder through the bridge viewscreen. Leela watched him silently and a smile played across her lips.
   The events of the last day had faded into a horrific blur. After their escape from the Xylogen clutches, the Planet Express ship had almost torn itself apart from the violent vibrations generated by the jerry-rigged engine. But Leela’s roughly thrown-together modification held together; it was noisy and unsteady, and the thrust was asymmetrical, but they’d piled on enough speed to plot a trajectory by, and with a few cleverly-mapped gravitational boosts along the way, they’d be able to reach the Nimbus fighting in the Xylogen home system inside of three days without having to engage the engines much.
   It was, unfortunately, the closest port of call.
   For once though, Leela was actually eager to see Zapp Brannigan… certainly for vastly different reasons than he was to see her. He had used her and her ship as a diversionary operation without her knowledge or consent – it was likely that the false intelligence of the superweapon’s presence on the PE ship had been deliberately leaked to the Xylogen to distract the aliens from the real transport vessel. And because of that three of her crew were now seriously injured and her ship was flying on a wing and a prayer – she was going to leave boot prints all over Brannigan’s head for what he’d done.
   She thought of Hermes, still lapsing in and out of consciousness; the close-proximity energy blast to his head might have caused some neurological damage. And Bender – his body was scrap and would have to be replaced… she and Fry had committed to pitch in for the cost, and Bender put on a brave face, but they could tell he was quite depressed about losing his ‘birth’ body forever.
   Oh, and there was Zoidberg too. She made a mental note to give that refrigerator to charity as soon as they returned to Earth – they could never eat from it again.
   She engaged the autopilot and stood from the chair, stretching languidly. The accumulated scrapes, bruises, and frayed nerves suddenly hit her like a railgun blast, and all she wanted to do was flop down on her bunk and sleep for a thousand years, just like Fry.
   Fry… She looked at him again, and this time he was staring back at her blankly. He looked as tired as she felt, and he still bore the assortment of shallow cuts and abrasions he’d sustained when the cannon turret blew. In the rush of escape and subsequent tending to Hermes, she had forgotten to look over his injuries.
   “Bender, could you watch the ship for a while?” she asked the robot, picking up his head.
   “Sure, that’s all I’m gonna be good for now anyway... watching things,” Bender replied bitterly. Leela looked worried, so he continued in a kinder tone. “It’s fine. Go on, get outta here big boots.”
   She set him down on the main console and patted his head affectionately before walking over to Fry and taking him by the arm. Fry allowed her to lead him off the bridge, and Bender’s head shot him a lewd wink as he went.
   “What’s up, purple?” he asked.
   “Just checking you out,” Leela said, and then rephrased: “…checking out your injuries.”
   “Oh, it’s nothing serious,” Fry said, then mentally kicked himself. “I mean… I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry.” He began limping slightly.
   Leela smirked. Some things never changed.
   She took a small medikit from the sick bay, and not wanting to watch Hermes gibber and hallucinate, took Fry to her own cabin. He stepped over the threshold, feeling like Indiana Jones breaking into the inner sanctum of some holy temple. The door slid shut behind him and he felt a little tingle of excitement.
   “Just lie down and let me put some dressing on those cuts,” Leela told him, motioning toward her bunk.
   “Woo,” Fry said, sitting down on the edge of the bunk. “It’s supposed to be an honour to dine at the Captain’s table – I must have done something REALLY good to be lying on the Captain’s bed.”
   Leela chuckled and tousled his spiky red hair. “I know it’s somewhere you’ve always wanted to be,” she said, and then blushed slightly in the awkward silence that followed.
   “Oh no - she’s onto me,” Fry muttered, grinning widely and rolling his eyes.
   Leela playfully pushed him onto his back and sat down beside him. Using a bio-dabber from the medikit, she began gently swabbing the cuts on Fry’s head and applied protective films of synthetic skin. Fry closed his eyes and enjoyed her touch – she was soft and tender, occasionally tracing the lines of his face with the tips of her fingers. She seemed to be enjoying herself.
   Leela noticed Fry’s white T-shirt was spotted with blood in a few places where tiny debris had scythed through the fabric during the depressurization.
   “Take off your shirt,” she instructed, her voice suddenly husky.
   Fry sat up and shrugged off his jacket. Leela reached up and helped him peel the shirt over his head.
   “Oh God, Fry…” The delivery boy’s ribcage was crossed on one side by a large dark bruise that reached almost around to his spine.
   “Got that when I fell down through the hatch,” he explained. “It’s no biggie…”
   Leela very gently probed the bruised area with her fingers, checking for broken ribs. When she raised her eye she found that Fry was staring back at her intently; suddenly all pretence of a medical examination dissipated. She was sitting on her bed inches away from the man she loved, with her hands on his naked torso. Her pulse and breathing quickened; she licked her lips and slowly moved her hands up to his chest.
   Fry was clearly experiencing the same impulse. He ran his hands along her thighs, hips, sides, shoulders, neck, and finally held her face between his palms, gazing into her beautiful eye.
   She let him draw her closer, and their lips brushed lightly.
   “Fry,” she whispered against his lips. “I love you.”
   He smiled and whispered back: “I know. And I love you.”

   They pressed against one another and kissed deeply and slowly. They had kissed before, but never like this – this was real, passionate, hungry, yet at the same time tender and gentle. Leela pressed Fry down onto the bunk and straddled him. When she finally broke the kiss Fry let out a long contented sigh.
   “U leave me breathless,” he murmured. He watched open-mouthed as she let out her hair then unashamedly stripped off her tank top and tossed it away. “…Wow.”
   As Leela leaned back down to lock her lips against Fry’s, their little green starship coasted quietly through interstellar space and the stars looked on.
Tastes Like Fry

Urban Legend
« Reply #58 on: 10-06-2006 02:46 »

And then Tasty exploded with shippy joy.


DOOP Secretary
« Reply #59 on: 10-06-2006 05:30 »

Yeah I thought you'd like that. It made me vomit on my keyboard. Or at least that's what I say...

Bending Unit
« Reply #60 on: 10-06-2006 07:26 »

Awwww yay! I loved that chapter!

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #61 on: 10-06-2006 08:43 »

That is beautiful. You can't find many love stories like this anymore. I know. I've looked. And a sequel? Hmm... If anyone could, you could. You've got the characters laid out nicely, and you've cerainly gotten the emotions all understood. Amor est vitae essentia. Omnia vincit amor!

Brevis esse latoro obscurus fio...


Bending Unit
« Reply #62 on: 10-06-2006 09:28 »

You've got this love story thing down! Love it, love it, love it!!!  love

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #63 on: 10-06-2006 09:41 »

Cyberphobia - So did I, but I will never admit it. Oh arse, I just did, didn't I? Blast!

Xanfor - Gratias ago vos tamen EGO operor non narro Latin.

LuvFry - I usually write about people killing one another, so this is sort of like a holiday.

Nearly finished on the conclusion.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #64 on: 10-06-2006 11:16 »
« Last Edit on: 10-06-2006 11:16 by coldangel_1 »

The rest of the voyage passed without incident – the only exciting points were where the engine needed to be engaged to assist with gravitational slingshots. At those points the little ship bucked and screamed like an unbroken colt carrying its first rider.
   Hermes was lucid enough to answer some questions about how he felt, but little else. Fry and Leela weren’t confident enough in their knowledge of medicine to attempt setting up an IV, so they had to carefully assist the bureaucrat to swallow some water.
   Between these activities, and stints on the bridge to keep Bender company, Fry and Leela spent the rest of the time in Leela’s quarters exploring their newfound intimacy. It had taken a brutal and deadly space battle to do it, but the barrier that had stood between them for too long had finally been broken. Now Leela couldn’t understand why she had held him at arm’s length all that time – had it been fear? Inadequacy? Blindness from a life of looking at the world with one eye, in two dimensions, flat and logical? In any case, it was no longer important.
   Of course, both of them had had sex before, but this had been the first time either of them had actually made love. For Fry it was the consummation of the most meaningful and mature relationship he’d ever had, and the realization of a long-held dream. For Leela, if was the first time in as long as she could remember that she’d slept with a man and not woken to feelings of guilt or shame or a sense of having been used. They were both happy.
   Bender had immediately noticed the contented glow on his friends’ faces, and had delightedly poked fun at them.
   “‘Ello, wots all this then?” he’d said in his curious Londoner accent. “You two organisms finally succumb to your primitive instincts? Oh! Oh! You gotta name your first kid after me!”
   And so it went; as the PE ship limped laboriously onward the two lovers cultivated the tentative and beautiful union that had blossomed in the midst of chaos.

Captain Zapp Brannigan was bored. With the successful deployment of the secret DOOP superweapon, there had been precious little to do in the Xylogen system except mop up remnants of resistance on the three inhabited worlds. There was nobody but Kif to listen to his victorious monologues, and the little Amphibiosan weakling had been infuriatingly disinterested of late.
   The light supper he’d just enjoyed was sitting heavy in his stomach as he absently stroked the velure of his uniform while he reclined in his command chair.
   “Sir?” Kif said quietly, appearing by his side.
   “Can’t you see I’m busy, Lieutenant?” Zapp snapped.
   “I’m sorry sir, but we have a ship on the scope, approaching our position.”
   “Aha!” Zapp leapt to his feet. “Finally some action! Target it with every weapon we have, and some other weapons we don’t have!”
   Kif sighed. “It appears to be the Planet Express ship,” he said.
   Zapp’s eyes widened. “The lady Leela!” he exclaimed. “Of course, I remember now. She and her vessel were instrumental in operation Clean Sweep… and now that she’s here, she can be instrumental in operation Red Hot Loving.
   “Kif! Beam me over to her ship.” Zapp put his hands on his hips and stood expectantly.
   Kif stared at him for a long moment before replying. “Sir, that technology doesn’t exist,” he said.
   “And with that attitude, it never will!”
   The little green Lieutenant looked away in disgust, and noticed the monitor readout. “Um… sir?” he said.
   “What, what now?”
   “The Planet Express ship seems to have sustained some substantial battle damage and it… it is flying toward us on a collision course.”
   Zapp spun around in alarm and looked out the Nimbus’s forward viewscreen. Sure enough, a little green dot could be seen growing ever-larger.
   “What is that crazy erotic woman doing?” he muttered to himself as the nose of the PE ship expanded into startling detail. “Brace for sexy impact!”
   At the last moment, the Planet Express ship pulled up, but not before Leela activated the main cargo bay doors on the underbelly. As she nosed the green freighter up and over the bridge of the Nimbus, three large crates of mud bricks sailed onward and slammed into the warship’s hull, smashing apart and dispersing into a small dirty nebula.
   Leela had made her point clear. And she would remove all doubt when she landed.

The Planet Express ship was parked in the Nimbus’s cavernous docking bay, and Leela was giving instructions to maintenance crews and DOOP medics when Zapp arrived with Kif in tow. She didn’t notice his presence at first as she watched Hermes being carried out of the PE ship on a stretcher and a pair of paramedics struggling with a frozen block of Zoidberg.
   “Well, well, well – look what the solar tide washed up on Zapp’s shore,” a silky smooth voice crooned into her ear, and warm pungent breath fanned her neck. Leela automatically lashed her boot heel up and back, feeling it connect with satisfaction into something soft and small.
   Zapp went down like the sack of crap he was, and curled into a whimpering ball. Kif hung back and tried not to snigger.
   “You son of a bitch,” Leela snarled, turning to look down on Brannigan in contempt. “You sent my crew and I on a suicide mission as a damn decoy. Three of them are seriously injured. Don’t you have any morals or sense of responsibility you disgusting oaf – we were nearly all killed!”
   “But you… still came… to be… by my side,” Zapp managed to croak. “Face it Leela… you just can’t… stay away.”
   Leela kicked him in the stomach, hard, and rounded on Kif.
   “You!” she snapped. “Did you know about this?”
   “N… no,” he stammered. “This is the first I’ve heard of it, I swear. I would never knowingly endanger Amy’s friends.”
   Leela accepted that with a curt nod. “Alright Kif, I believe you,” she said. “I trust that the DOOP will take care of our damage and tend to the crew’s injuries. After all, this was sustained in the engagement of a military directive.” She spat the last part of the sentence with bitter venom, casting a sidelong glance at Zapp as he climbed unsteadily to his feet.
   “Of course,” Kif said. He inclined his head to Fry when the redhead meandered over.
   “Yes, naturally,” Zapp said. “We will gladly repair the damage to your crew and tend to your ship’s injuries. But in the meantime, Leela, perhaps you would like to accompany me to the Lovenasium and tend to a little something else?”
   Leela saw red. The bastard just wouldn’t stop! She balled her fist, and was about to strike him, when someone else unexpectedly beat her to it.

   Fry’s fist lashed out and connected solidly with Zapp’s jaw, snapping his head around and causing him to stumble backward. Leela gasped in surprise and delight as Captain Brannigan spat blood, and a tooth hit the deck; he looked stunned and his eyes watered slightly. Fry advanced on him and he took a step back.
   “You got a whole mouth full of other teeth,” Fry said slowly. “I can take the rest of them out one by one, or you can apologise to my Captain.”
   Zapp’s eyes widened as he realized the boy really meant it. He cleared his throat and swallowed hard, gingerly wiping blood from his chin.
   “I’m… sorry Captain Leela…” he said hoarsely. And then, not willing to face any more punishment from the Planet Express freaks, he turned on his heel and marched away with as much dignity as he could muster.
   When Brannigan was out of earshot, Kif let out a little giggle.
   “Oh, that was wonderful!” he said. “Phillip – you’re my hero!”
   “Mine too,” Leela said, quite impressed. She gazed at Fry in wonder and he grinned back at her.
   “Just like the old saying:” he said, “violence solves everything.”
   She didn’t bother correcting him; instead she stepped close and kissed him – inflicting physical injury on Zapp Brannigan was about the sexiest thing he could have done for her, and she was going to show her gratitude.
   Kif gaped for a moment and muttered: “oh my,” before quietly taking his leave.

With skilful application of medical nanomachines, both Zoidberg and Hermes were back on their feet within two days. During that time, the DOOP ‘ground’ crew conducted a near-complete refitting of the Planet Express ship, stripping out all damaged components and replacing them – the vessel hadn’t seen so many new parts since it was built. The trick Leela had pulled on the engine impressed the technicians enough that they asked her permission to include it in the next edition of the starship emergency procedures manual.
   Zapp Brannigan remained mercifully absent during the rest of the stopover. Kif told them that he had secluded himself in his quarters and could sometimes be heard talking to himself. Leela wondered how long it would be before ‘the Zapper’ finally lost his mind and his command – Kif could be a real leader, and she thought it was high time he was elevated.
   But that wasn’t her business.
   When the ship repairs were finally complete, Kif led Hermes, Zoidberg, and Bender into the docking bay to meet Fry and Leela. Hermes’ head was patched with sticking plaster, and Zoidberg’s midsection was wrapped in bandages, but their eyes were drawn inexorably to Bender.
   “Nobody look at me!” the robot wailed. “I’m hideous!”
   “Ohhhh, no you’re not,” Leela said uncertainly. “It’s very… slimming.”
   “I’m afraid it was the only spare body we had in stock,” Kif explained. “As a temporary measure it will have to serve until you can find something more appropriate.”
   Bender’s head had been mismatched to a skeletal robot body that made him look like an anorexic. Fry couldn’t help but chuckle.
   “Hey, cram it lover boy!” Bender shouted.
   “Sorry Bender,” fry laughed. “As soon as we get back we’ll go straight to Mom’s and get you a new bending unit chassis – I promise.”
   “Glad to see you guys are okay too,” Leela said, addressing Hermes and Zoidberg.
   “Hurray! Someone’s glad I’m okay!” Zoidberg shouted happily.
   Hermes glanced at his watch. “We’re behind schedule,” he grunted simply.
   “Well, thanks for all the help, Kif,” Fry said, clapping the little alien on the shoulder.
   “My pleasure,” Kif replied. “Once again, I extend the DOOP’s apologies for this unfortunate chain of events. Oh, and please say hello to Amy for me.”
   “We will,” Leela said, giving him a quick hug. “You watch out for yourself – don’t let that idiot get you killed.”
   With that, the crew made their way toward the newly repaired and polished Planet Express ship that sat gleaming on the flight deck, ready to take them home. Hermes and Zoidberg went up the boarding stair, while the other three hung back for a moment to inspect the ship.
   “She’s a beautiful girl,” Leela said, gazing at the smooth green lines.
   “Yeah, she sure is,” Fry said quietly, looking at the ship’s Captain. Leela glanced at him and smiled. They drew close and put their arms around each other.

   Bender took a swig from a bottle of beer and puffed on a cigar, both of which he had somehow acquired during the short walk across the docking bay.
   “Come on, let’s get outta here,” he grumbled. “I wanna get home and back in a body that suits my delightful charisma as soon as possible. Then everything can go back to normal.”
   “Well, almost everything,” Leela whispered to Fry.
   The three of them marched onboard, and within a few minutes, the ship was blasting away toward a blue planet orbiting a yellow star somewhere out in the vast expanse of the Universe.


{And let us never speak of this again. If any of my RL friends knew I'd written a piece of romance they'd whip me to death with lengths of barbed wire...}

Bending Unit
« Reply #65 on: 10-06-2006 12:56 »

Originally posted by coldangel_1:
{And let us never speak of this again. If any of my RL friends knew I'd written a piece of romance they'd whip me to death with lengths of barbed wire...}

Heh.. it wouldn't go well with your rugged, kick-ass exterior?  tongue

"Finding your true love is like winning the lottery, it always happens to someone else."

Bending Unit
« Reply #66 on: 10-06-2006 14:16 »

Loved the story. You've got Zapp's character down pat. His dialogue was hilarious. Loved the kick-@$$ pic of Fry & Zapp.

Bending Unit
« Reply #67 on: 10-06-2006 16:49 »

Great story and illustrations.  Loved that one where Fry was punching Zapp in the face.

Bending Unit
« Reply #68 on: 10-06-2006 20:23 »

LOVE the picture of Fry punching Zapp, all the the characters have the perfect expressions on their faces.  If only Fry would do that on the real show...

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #69 on: 10-06-2006 23:51 »

Thank you all. Yes, as I have always suspected, violence makes you popular. Go on kids - go and beat the tar out of someone if you want to make friends  big grin.
That scene helped me preserve at least some of my rugged kick-ass exterior.

Bending Unit
« Reply #70 on: 10-07-2006 01:05 »

What an awesome story! And fantastic pictures too!

Sequel! Sequel!

Don't hide your inner romantic streak! It will make you popular with the ladies! LOL

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #71 on: 10-07-2006 02:09 »

Popular with the ladies, eh? Well in that case...

A sequel, you say? Well maybe... Not for a while though as I have some more serious fictional matters to attend to. Namely my beleagured novel manuscript which is still yet to be picked up by a literary agent, and a couple of science fiction short stories that I want to try to get into an anthology or two.
Fan fiction is a fun little distraction where you don't need to go into too much detail because the target audience already has a vast understanding of the characters and settings. Original material is more of a hike because the picture needs to really be painted. On the plus side, original material has the potential of earning me a lot of money, which is important as I'm to be out of work for three months and finding sustainence is soon going to be a problem.
Nevertheless, at an undisclosed point in the not-too-distant future I will do another of these. Not sure if it'll be a sequel per-se because I don't really know where I'd go with it after that (absence of Unresloved Sexual Tension [UST] removes a lot of 'draw' factor for reader interest), but I will do another fic one day.

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #72 on: 10-07-2006 11:11 »

You could do somrthing or someone causing problems for Fry and Leela to replace the UST.
And it had better be a sequel, I can't stand it when they don't tell you how Fry and Leela got on after a major change and/or event.

Loved the story,  wink in case you didn't notice

Urban Legend
« Reply #73 on: 10-08-2006 00:05 »

I really did like the story, the romantic parts didn't bother me because they seemed believably tied to the action and comedy

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #74 on: 10-08-2006 06:27 »

jle1993... perhaps perhaps perhaps. We shall see. I've never really done a sequel to a fanfic before. But then I had never done a Futurama fanfic before either, so there's a first time for everything.

tyraniak - Cheers bro. I try to make things mesh as much as possible.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #75 on: 10-08-2006 07:56 »


Revera linguam latinam vix cognovi...


DOOP Secretary
« Reply #76 on: 10-08-2006 09:59 »

Err.... uh huh.

Solvo reddo es non bonus. Quam operor vos narro 'shit' in Latin?

I should give up at this point...

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #77 on: 10-09-2006 07:51 »

Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare.

(JK  wink )


DOOP Secretary
« Reply #78 on: 10-09-2006 09:17 »

Oh, now you're just being a smart arse...

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #79 on: 10-09-2006 11:32 »

Will you please all just speak english, I like to be able to understand what I read wink

Seriously though, are you writing a sequel to your story?
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