Tastes Like Fry
Urban Legend
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‘Ooh, stop that! Heehee! Oh Bender! I love you.’ ‘Yeah, I know it babe, ooh you’ve got kink-ware.’ ‘The sexiest boot logon since 1895.’ ‘I like that year, now to do some serious bootying.’ ‘Oh Bender, you’re such a charmer!’ Bender and the floozy bot kissed, sending sparks into the air and failed to reconise they were joined by a third person. ‘What the hell are you doing with my daughter?’ Bender gave a start as he reconised the smiling bot from the door, only he wasn’t smiling anymore, the big clown like lips were more of an n shape than a u shape. ‘Hey Pal!’ Bender said thinking quickly, ‘How about you turn that frown upside-down!’ ‘How about you let go of my daughter?’ ‘Your daughter? Oh, this is your daughter.’ ‘Daddy please! This is my fault.’ ‘Yeah, this is her fault! She’s the one who logged into my interface!’ Bender was quick to lay the blame. Both the robots glared at him.
‘Hey, cutie, what’s the matter?’ Amy glanced up from the sink, her face tear-streaked. Behind her stood a blonde girl who was much older and offering her a tissue. She slowly took it. ‘I-I-wanted to party, have some fun, talk to some guys, but every time I do, I think of my boyfriend Kif… Oh you’re probably not interested in my boyfriend.’ The blonde put her arm around her. ‘Probably not, but tell me anyway.’ ‘Okay,’ Amy sniffled and raised her head proudly, ‘Kiffy’s in the army, all alone with his pompous baffoonic boss, doing heroic things. He’s been in jail for me once, and got my parents herd of buffalo back to the ranch so he could get my parents approval. Oh, he’s done so much for me, and I’m here partying while he does his duty.’ Amy broke into fresh tears, ‘It’s not fair.’ She sobbed, ‘I shouldn’tve ran away from my Captain, she’ll be wondering where I am.’ She sniffed and stood up straight. ‘I need to go find her. Thankyou so much, uh…’ ‘Sue, predictable Sue.’ ‘The inscription giver?’ ‘The very same… don’t look into it though, it’s mainly a machine that works in the same way as a clool-o-meter or a gay-radar.’ She lit up a smoke, ‘By the way, your robot pal is about to pass by, you may want to grab him, he’s in trouble.’ ‘Oh… alright then.’ Amy peered out the door to be confronted by a panicked Bender running by. Amy reached out and seized his arm and yanked him inside. ‘Oh my God, Amy!’ ‘Quick let’s go out the back way and find Fry and Leela.’ ‘Good idea.’ Amy bolted out the door crashed headlong into a coffee table set in an outdoor cafeteria setting. She straightened herself and was thankful that is was a well hidden area and there was only two people at the far table and seemed to be more involved with each other than to notice her less than graceful entrance. Bender gasped and Amy soon gasped after as she cottoned on to what Bender was gasping at. Fry and Leela were the couple seated and they weren’t doing much except in the way of staring and playing footsies. They lifted their china tea cups and sipped together in a swift single motion and smiled seductively at each other over the rims. They were so involved they wouldn’t have noticed Amy standing there if she hadn’t cleared her throat. ‘Amy!’ Leela cheerfully placed her cup and saucer back on the table. Fry gave a moan of discontent and shot a death glare at Amy. ‘How nice of you to join us.’ ‘And Bender too.’ Bender dragged a chair over and sat by Fry only to be dealt a glare from him as well. ‘Oh, our only romantic moment in ages and you guys had to barge in.’ ‘Yeah, well we wanna go.’ Amy said to the floor, ‘I feel bad partying without Kiffy.’ ‘Yeah, and I’m being chased by an insane robot… and her father.’ Bender added. ‘I wanna stay,’ Fry whined clasping Leela’s hand that was resting on the table, ‘and spend some romantic time with you, otherwise you’ll get all bitchy again and I can’t speak to you, and then there’s no communication and when there’s no commu-...’ ‘Alright, meatbag, we get the picture.’ Bender said boredly. ‘I have an idea.’ Leela said in an almost evil manner. Amy wavered under Leela’s evil grin. ‘You guys got the consequences of partying hard without permission.’ Amy and Bender nodded fearfully, ‘and you want to cut Fry and my party time short.’ Again they nodded in agreement. ‘Right, well here’s the keys to the ship.’ she said to Amy handing them to her. ‘Fry and I won’t be back until morning, and to make sure you don’t leave without us, you’re officially Lucy’s guardians for the next twelve hours.’ She said forcing Bender to clasp Lucy’s pram handle. ‘And don’t forget to feed Nibbler.’ she said, not giving anyone a chance to speak a word, dragged Fry to his feet and out into the busier parts of the party. ‘Blug.’ Amy said staring at Lucy who chose at that very moment to wake up and start screaming hungrily. ‘Whose stupid idea was it to run away in the first place?’ Bender said huffily. ‘Yours!’ Amy cried and picked up Lucy to soothe her. ‘Yeah… well… up yours chumpette.’ ‘Let’s just back to the ship before we attract too much attention with Lucy, oh what’s wrong, what does she want?’
‘Low and slow, baby, oh yeah’ A deep voice echoed across the dance floor of people dancing sexfully in the rain simulation to a slow hip hop song. Fry and Leela in the thick of it, Fry’s jacket and bow tie long gone, both are sodden and water droplets dripped from their hair and trickled down their hot skin, they teased and taunted each other’s bodies in the rhythmic romance of music. Their breath short as they quick stepped around each other across the cobble stones. Leela reached into her hair and tugged on the band until it broke and she shook her wet hair free. It clung to her neck as did Fry’s cheek. He breathed deeply, the scent of her hair, the rain, the warmth of her body in the cold air. He moaned softly as Leela teased him by rubbing up against him and in revenge he snatched for grip on her slippery waist and massaged his fingers into the small of her back. ‘Oh Lordy.’ she whimpered, she seized Fry by the collar and stared as well as a cyclops can into his two eyes. ‘Hotel room… NOW.’
The Planet Express Ship, green and spaceshippy, stands out among the regular small space travelling ships, and although the sight of it alone is irregular, the sound that could be faintly heard from inside it supposed sound proof walls is tremendous despite the lungs that it is dispelled from. ‘Ai ya!’ Amy pressed her hands to her ears. ‘What does she want?’ ‘What?’ Bender yelled, his own hands pushed to the sides of his head. Amy groaned and knelt beside Lucy with the baby bag Leela always kept with her and pulled out each item and held it to Lucy. ‘Dummy? Teddy? Car keys?’ Amy rattled them as Lucy fell silent for a split second before bursting into cries again. Amy threw them down in anguish.
Two hours later… ‘To think, she only wanted her bottle.’ Bender said, leant over Lucy, holding the end up to make it easier for her to drain the bottle. Amy murmured in her sleep on her bed of hard floor. Bender chuckled in amusement as the last of the dregs disappeared and plucked the teat from the babe’s mouth, unfortunately for Bender, Lucy still had a mouthful of milk which she spat and Bender sat up straight, spluttering and wiped the milky film from his head. ‘Why you little… squirt!’ ‘Benner!’ Lucy squeaked and raised her hands to him to be picked up. Bender paused. ‘Did you say Bender?’ he asked in awe and wonderment. ‘Benner!’ she said again. ‘Eh, close enough,’ Bender shrugged, ‘You’re alright squirt.’ He picked her up carefully as he had seen Leela do it a million times. Lucy sat upright in his arms and began curiously poking Bender’s eyes, which didn’t hurt him in the slightest. ‘Benner’ ‘Heh, heh, that’s right squirt, I’m Benner.’ [to be continued…]
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