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Corvus
Bending Unit
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« Reply #47 on: 10-24-2007 14:31 »
« Last Edit on: 05-22-2008 00:00 »
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*bump*I hope I don't jump the gun here and invoke the wrath of my Beta reader. Still, here you have Chapter 4 of Somewhere I Belong. In related news.. For all (seven) of you reading A Red Letter Day I'm sorry to say it will not continue, as the writer (i.e. me), is pants-on-head retarded. I complete buggered up my first plot and I can't honestly figure out a proper plot that I wish to write. So feel free to post to tell me what a complete twit I am. Anyhow, on with the show trainwreck. Edit: snip------------------ "All alone he turns to stone while holding his breath half to death"
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coldangel
DOOP Secretary
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Haha... does female Fry still lust after Leela? 'Cause that'd be hot.
Best line:
"if he's dead I can always cook him. You guys eat each other, right?"
Heh heh, only on special occassions.
This is coming along smartly.
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JustNibblin
Bending Unit
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« Reply #53 on: 10-27-2007 02:43 »
« Last Edit on: 10-27-2007 02:43 by JustNibblin´ »
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*hands Corvus a bandaid* Hey Corvus, I'm so glad you're continuing this story. I really like your writing style--it's fluid, clear, but full of detail. One random example: With a couple of milliseconds to spare, the controls responded to the human input and the ship tore up a cloud of dust as Leela applied maximum thrust. Even though the gravity displacement system worked at full power to negate the effects from the g-forces as the planet express ship roared skyward, Leela could feel the acceleration through her body.
Great vocabulary, great choice of words for capturing the intensity of Leela's flight. Oh yeah, and the plot is getting ever more interesting. It is good to see all the threads start to wind together. Keep it coming! And please put in a rabtreiver at some point for me. Original aliens are hard to come by... EDIT: By the way, what's a Herbst maneuver?
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Corvus
Bending Unit
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« Reply #54 on: 10-27-2007 07:47 »
« Last Edit on: 10-27-2007 07:47 »
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Originally posted by JustNibblin': Hey Corvus, I'm so glad you're continuing this story. I really like your writing style--it's fluid, clear, but full of detail. I was more thinking in the lines of garbled, repetitive and boring. Don't give me to much credit. soylentOrange does a tremendous job cleaning it up prior to me posting it here. Originally posted by JustNibblin':
Oh yeah, and the plot is getting ever more interesting. It is good to see all the threads start to wind together. I suppose it does.. Originally posted by JustNibblin':
And please put in a rabtreiver at some point for me. Original aliens are hard to come by... Cough. I already have: ... The source of this sudden intrusion was a huge six wheeled excavator driven by a madly grinning creature that Fry from his fetal position on the ground recognized as non other than Shady the Tyrog. ... Originally posted by JustNibblin':
EDIT: By the way, what's a Herbst maneuver? Herbst maneuver@coldangel_1: It was never my intention to insult you.. I tried to make a joke and it came out wrong. Sorry.
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coldangel
DOOP Secretary
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Ugh? I weren't insulted. I know I'm a sleazebag. It's one of the many many things I love about me.
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Corvus
Bending Unit
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Huh, wha? I have readers!? Wow.. @Archonix: Don't worry, I'll keep writing since I have every intention to finish this. @soylentOrange: Awesome? As I recall you called me evil... twice... (Not that I see that as a bad thing. ) @Sine Wave: Thanks! You can't wait see what happens next? Hopefully you won't have to wait that long for the next chapter. @JustNibblin': Glad you liked the jokes, I wish I could say that they were intentional. What Fry's gift was? Oh, you'll have to wait to find that out.. or ask soylentOrange. As for Shady, he won't make anymore appearances.
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JustNibblin
Bending Unit
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Oh good, once again you show a great skill with creating aliens. I liked Captain Shula, especially her expressive hair. Originally posted by Corvus : The delivery boy's attempt at an airborne assault would have been an outstanding success, had his target been the hard and unyielding metal floor.
"Once again, Kif, you have earned my contempt."
"There's where you are wrong, mon. According to ya user manual, revision forty two dash B dash zero twelve c, chapter twenty three, subsection eighteen, paragraph twelve, and I quote: A Bending Unit can, and shall, upon user(s) request perform disassembly of (but not limited to) crates, boxes or other wrappings used in the purpose of (but not limited to) delivery and/or protecting goods. Failure to comply with this request from the user(s) can be cause for revocation of the aforementioned Bending Unit's bending license. End quote."
Great lines. Only one more chapter to go? Seems a whole new story is starting!
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