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Author Topic: Fanfic: Cult 55 (redux)  (Read 399 times)
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Urban Legend
« on: 01-13-2006 14:46 »

I added a few more things.  This fanfic is also posted on Futurino. 

Cult 55

by: Trenton Sands

Opening Credits Scene:


"It Stays Crispy Even in Slurm!"

Screen: A Beetle Bailey Cartoon

Scene 1:

At Robot Arms Apartments the doorbell rang at Fry's and Bender's door.

Bender (sitting on the couch watching TV): Go get the door, meatbag!

Fry (excited): Oh, boy! I'll bet I know who it is!

Fry opens the door and it's a man dressed as a game show host.

Man: Congrats, Phillip J. Fry! You have won the Admiral Crunch contest!

Fry: All right, YAY! I've always wanted to win a cereal box contest!

Man: Your prize is whatever you want, and we'll give it to you! What will it be?

Fry: There's this cyclops girl I work with. Her name is Turanga Leela. She works at the Planet Express with me. And I really want to go on a date with her!

Man: Great! A date with Leela it is! Come this way!

The man lead Fry into a spaceship. The spaceship doors close shut. Bender heard it, and ran to see what was going on.

Bender: What the hell? Who's trying to interupt me while I'm watching Sanford and Son 3000?!

Bender sees the spaceship with Fry inside. And Bender sees the man take off a mask.

Bender: Uh, oh! Looks like Fry's being kidnapped! Don't want to be a material witness!

Bender goes to the Planet Express building to warn everyone what happened. Meanwhile on the spaceship Fry was wondering what was going on.

Fry: Uhhh, Planet Express is on Earth! Why are we going into space?

Man (taking off his mask and revealing he's a Grim Reaper): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! We knew you'd be gullible enough to fall for our trap!

Fry: What did I do? I thought I was winning a date with Leela!

Cult Leader: We're taking you back to our planet! GrimReap 55! We will make you marry our queen! There is no escape! Resistance is futile! We like to kidnap people who are immature and dumb and you fit that critiera! (Laughes Evilly).

Fry (banging his fists on the window): NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Leela! Bender! Anyone! HEEELLLLLPPPP!!!!!

The spaceship drove deep into space.

Scene 2:

Back at the Planet Express building, Bender was explaining to everyone what happened in the confrence room.

Bender: Fry's been kidnapped! The guy who kidnapped him had a mask on, and it was really a Grim Reaper!

Prof. Farnsworth: WHAT? (Angerly): You're his friend! Why didn't you try to save him?

Bender: You can't expect me to be there for Fry 24/7!

Leela: You said he got kidnapped by a Grim Reaper?

Hermes (gasps): I know where Fry is!

Zoidberg (running into the confrence room): Sweet mother of mercy! I heard what happened! Tell us!

Hermes: Since you said Grim Reapers, he's on the planet GrimReap 55, mon!

Amy: I've heard about that planet in my Intergalatic Studies Course at college! It's a planet that's a cult!

Leela: A cult run by Grim Reapers. Never thought I'd see the day. C'mon everyone! We're all going to save Fry!

Prof. Farnsworth: I'm afraid that's impossible!

Bender: Look, baldy, we know you never liked the guy......

Prof. Farnsworth: It's not that! The Planet Express ship is under repairs.

Leela: This is a serious situation! Just when we need the ship the most, it's under repairs?

Bender: How long?! How long?! How long will this bullcrap go on!

Prof. Farnsworth: The spaceship will be repaired in two weeks!

Bender: We have to wait two weeks to save my friend?! He'd be dead by then! Though, I've always thought I would be the one to kill Fry.

Amy (standing up): Hey, I know!

Zoidberg: What is it? Zoidberg is anxious to know!

Amy: My parents own a space yacht! They say I can only use it for emergencies! Let's call my parents!

Leela: Great idea, Amy! Hold on, Fry! We're coming to save you!

Bender (impersonating Redd Foxx): This is the big one! This is the big one! You hear that, skintube! We're coming to save ya!

Leela looks at Bender in disgust.

Bender: What? It's from Sanford and Son 3000! Their heads are in jars now and more funnier than ever!

Amy goes to call her parents.

Meanwhile, on the Planet GrimReap 55, Fry is sleeping in a dungeon deep in a cave, on a hard bed mumbling to himself.

Fry: Since I've been kidnapped by a cult, I can't let them brainwash me or forget who I am. My name is Phillip J. Fry. I was born on May 21, 1977. I live in New New York, It's the year 3005, I'm a delivery boy......

Cult Leader (demanding): On your feet, you!

Fry (standing up): What do you want? Why me? Why can't this ever happen to Zoidberg?

Cult Leader: Since you will become one of us, and marry our queen, I'll have to ask you to change into these! (Holds a pair of pink pajamas).

Fry: No! Never! That's degrading and embarrasing! I'll never wear those pajamas! The only thing I'm wearing to a wedding is a tuxedo when I marry Leela one day! Orange jumpsuits, I understand! But pink pajamas? Why do you want me to become on of you, anyway?

Cult Leader: Since we Grim Reapers are all bones, we need someone with skin to marry our queen!

Fry: Forget it! Never! I love Leela!

Cult Leader (takes out a syringe): This will make you forget this Leela!

Fry (screaming): What is that?

Cult Leader: It's a shot-full of Cherry Kool-Aid and sedative! This is what we live on! And soon you will too! (laughs evilly).

The Cult Leader pokes Fry with the syringe. Fry screams in pain and his knocked out.

Cult Leader: Minions! Take him to the cave where we can begin our ceremony!

Scene 3:

Leo and Inez Wong arrive on the Planet Express building with the Wong Space Yacht.

Leo (To the Professor): What's the emergency?

Prof. Farnworth: My moron of a great uncle got himself kidnapped by Grim Reapers!

Inez: Ooooooh! Sounds exotic! Bring it back in mint condition!

Leela: Okay, everyone on board! We'll need everyone's help! Even you, Zoidberg!

Zoidberg: Hooray! Zoidberg is useful!

Everyone gets on the space yacht. Just when Amy was about to go on, Leo and Inez stop her.

Leo: Now, remember Amy! Listen to everything Leela tells you!

Amy: Don't worry, Daddy! We'll be fine! It's a rescue mission.

Inez (scolding Amy): Oh, and by the way, when you bring back our yacht, we want you pregnant with grandchild! Understood.

Amy: (sighs) Yes, Mom. (Boards the ship)

Amy goes on the ship. Leo and Inez get inside a space taxi to take them back to Mars.

The Wong Space Yacht takes off into space.

Scene 4:

Everyone was on board the Wong Space Yacht. The yacht was full of luxuries. The Professor was getting a massage, Amy was playing skeeball, Hermes was limboing, Zoidberg was playing on the shuffleboard. Bender was in the pool. Leela was steering the yacht. Leela puts the ship on cruise control to check on everyone.

Leela: Okay, people. We're almost to GrimReap 55 and......

Before Leela could finish, she sees everyone caught up in the luxuries of the Space Yacht.

Bender (jumping into the pool): CANNONBALL!!!!

Hermes (limboing): This takes me back!

Prof. Farnsworth: (sighs contently)

Amy: This is better than virtual skeeball!

Zoidberg: Hooray! I won! Wish I was rich to afford this!

Leela: All right, settle down, everyone! This is not a party! We're doing this to rescue Fry! Anyone remember that?

Prof. Farnsworth: Whaaa? We were on a rescue mission? (turns off massage machine). Why didn't you tell us?

Leela: Thought you knew! Thought you all knew! Are we all going to play games? Or are we going to save Fry from a fate worse than death?

Bender: Let us know when you get there, Leela! (jumps into the pool): CANNONBALL! This is the best mission ever! (sips on beer).

Amy (playing skeeball): Sounds to me Leela's got a thing for Fry! She's so flung-ho about saving him!

Meanwhile at the planet GrimReap 55, Fry finds himself chained by the wrists and ankles to an alter. Plus, he finds himself wearing the pair of pink flannel pajamas instead of his usual outfit. Just then the cult leader and his minions approach him. They were all holding him captive in a cave.

Cult Leader: You will become one of us! Because you were stupid enough to fall for our trick! Then we will make you marry our queen! If you refuse, you will die!

Fry: I don't want to become one of you! The only girl I want to marry is Leela! The only girl for me is Leela! Not Amy, not Michelle, not some Grim Reaper queen! LEELA!

Minion 1: Gabba Gabba Hey!

Minion 2: Gaaba Gabba! One of us! One of us! One of us!

Then all the minions join in saying, "Gabba Gabba One of Us" then the Cult Leader interupts them.

Cult Leader: Okay, minions! Prepare for the ceremony! (To Fry): We'll be back! (laughes evilly).

The Cult Leader and his minions leave Fry to prepare for the ceremony.

Fry (sobbing): Save me, Leela! You're the only girl I'll ever love!

Scene 5:

The Wong Space Yacht reached it's destination. Once it landed on GrimReap 55, Leela ordered everyone out.

Leela: Okay, everyone. We're here! Let's go save Fry!

Everyone moaned.

Zoidberg: Does this mean we have to give up these luxuries?

Leela: Yes! I promise we'll celebrate when we rescue Fry!

Bender (getting his laser pointer ready): Oh, hell! I'm in the mood for a little whoop-ass!

Back at the cave where Fry was being held, two stoner robots see him. Fry sees the robots as well.

Fry: Who are you guys!

The robots looked like robot versions of Jay and Silent Bob. They were named Array and Silent Bot.

Array: We're Array and Silent Bot, and we're in the hizzhouse!

Fry: Are you guys here to save me?

Silent Bot: (silently nods yes)

Array: We like to hang around this Grim Reaper planet to score some drugs and get high! Sure, we'll save you! Hell, this cave looks like the Temple of Doom!

Fry: Thanks guys! I can't believe I'm being rescued by stoner bots!

Array and Silent Bot unchain Fry from the alter. Then they show Fry the way out, only to be stopped by the Grim Reapers.

Cult Leader: So! You thought you could escape us, did you?

Array: Oops! Sorry, man! Looks like you're on your own!

Silent Bot: Geez, you're a wimp!

Array: Shut up! At least the chicks dig me!

Silent Bot: Yeah, but you really dig guys!

Array smacked Silent Bot upside the head and jump into a space scooter and drove off.

Fry: Array! Silent Bot! What about me?! Hey, Mr. Cult Leader sir, I was just.......

Cult Leader: SILENCE! (To his minions): chain him back to the alter! The ceremony will now begin!

Fry was soon chained back to the alter as he was before. Fry was crying and sobbing uncontrollably.

Scene 6:

Leela and the gang were walking around searching for the cave. Amy learned about the cave in her college course and Hermes spotted it from a distance.

Hermes: Sweet lanes of sugar canes! I think that's where Fry is! (takes out a sword) Just in case. I'm good with fencing!

Amy: I heard about that cave! The cult members do some streepy stuff from what I've heard!

Leela: Okay, let's go! We must take this risk!

Bender: I'll lead the way! You guys need a robot for protection! (starts up his laser pointer).

Leela: Okay fine. Bender you lead the way.

Prof. Farnsworth: I can't believe we're being lead by an alcoholic robot!

Zoidberg: Let's sing a song on the way!

Prof. Farnsworth: No time for that you crustatious idiot!

Bender lead everyone to the cave. Then everyone got inside the cave only to see the Grim Reapers preparing for their ceremony and they see Fry chained to an alter. Even the Grim Reaper queen was there getting ready for her marriage to Fry.

Fry (sees everyone): Leela! Bender! Save me! I thought you guys would never come!

Cult Queen: They're not going to save you, we'll destroy them, first! Marry me!

Fry: No! Never! Only Leela! And no one else!

Cult Leader: What is the meaning of this?! ATTACK!!!!!

The Cult Leader sends his minions to attack Leela and the gang. Just then Bender grabs onto a rope and swings himself side to side and starts shooting his laser pointer at the Grim Reaper cult.

Bender (shooting the laser pointer): SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!!

While Bender is shooting up Grim Reapers with his laser pointer. Everyone was fighting the Grim Reapers. Leela did karate, Hermes was in a swashbuckling swordfight with the Cult Leader, Zoidberg was snapping his claws at them causing them to lose their limbs, Amy was throwing rocks at them, and the Profressor injected one with a shot full of medicine and it exploded. Then Hermes decapatates the Cult Leader. The Grim Reaper cult was destroyed.


Fry: Get me out of here! I can't do it myself!

Bender (turns to Fry): Sit tight, skintube!

Bender freed Fry from his wrist and ankle chains. Then Fry runs to Leela and hugs her and kisses her.

Fry: Oh, Leela! You saved my life! I thought I was going to die or be stuck in a miserable arranged marriage!

Leela: You're safe now, Fry. That's all that matters! (Both Fry and Leela hug each other).

Fry: You're the only woman for me, Leela.

Leela: What did you say?

Fry: I said, uhhh, you're the best friend I guy can ever have!

Bender: Hey, what about me? I risked my ass to save you!

Fry: You, too Bender! You too!

Zoidberg: The most important thing is that I helped!

Everyone: Shut up, Zoidberg!

Zoidberg: (sobs).

Then the Cult Queen stops them.

Cult Queen: This isn't over yet!

Leela: Oh, really! It's over for you! You've messed with my man! (karate kicks the Cult Queen).

Cult Queen (smashed to pieces): Now I'll never get married looking all crumpled up like this!

Scene 7 Conclusion:

The gang is going back to Mars to give back the Wong Space Yacht. Everyone was now partying to celebrate their victory. Fry and Leela were talking.

Leela: When that queen wanted to marry you, what did you mean by 'Only Leela' and no one else.

Fry (nervous): Well, I.....guess it was just a spur of the moment type of thing.

Leela: You also kissed me when you were saved.

Fry: Of course I did, Leela. Because I was so happy you rescued me from that horrible cult.

Then Fry and Leela kissed. Bender soon interupted them!

Bender: C'mon love birds! Save that for another time and let's party!

Fry (laughing): Bender just called us lovebirds!

Leela: Yeah, he did! C'mon Fry! Let's go enjoy these luxuries on this ship before we have to give it back!

Fry: I'm with you! (taking off the flannel pink pajamas and now in his underwear)

Fry and Leela joined Amy, Hermes, and The Professor and Zoidberg in their party.

Fry (thinking): She really does care about me more than a friend! Maybe there's hope for me and Leela, yet! (Running): Wait for me you guys!

Then Fry joined Bender in the pool, and Leela joined Amy in the skeeball, The Professor was back to getting a massage, and Zoidberg hogged the shuffleboard again. Then they went to Mars to give back the Space Yacht to Amy's parents and back to Planet Express. Two weeks later the PE Ship was all repaired.

Closing Credits Scene:

2 weeks later:

Fry and Bender were at their apartment in Robot Arms. Bender was watching Sanford and Son 3000 and Fry came into the TV room.

Fry: Hey, Bender! Did you hear the Planet Express ship got fixed?

Bender: Yeah, who cares! Hey, come here and watch this!

Fry (suddenly feeling nauseated): I'll be right with you, Bender! I gotta puke out this Kool-Aid and sedative. I don't get why it's still in me after two weeks!

Fry went into the bathroom and continuiously vomitted and retched.

Bender: Sounds like meatbag's still truamatized from his ordeal with the Grim Reaper cult. Professor warned us this would happen!

Bender got fed up with hearing Fry vomit in the bathroom. So, he turned up the theme song to Sanford and Son 3000 up to full blast to drown out Fry's retching.


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