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Author Topic: My Futurama fic  (Read 507 times)
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Bending Unit
« on: 12-20-2005 11:37 »


The Kroker Chronicals

Right and Wong

 <a href="http://edrichmond.blogspot.com/2006/01/kroker-chronicles.html">External Link</a>

Urban Legend
« Reply #1 on: 12-20-2005 21:12 »

well, I cant say I've read the whole thing, but so far it seems pretty good.  You need to work on describing the settings in your story, and it might be a good idea to put each new bit of dialogue on a new line so it doesnt all seem to run together (like this sentence).  Also, you mispelled month.  Fix that  smile.  Anyway, good effort all around.  I give it an A-++-

Bending Unit
« Reply #2 on: 12-21-2005 07:31 »

Originally posted by soylentOrange:
well, I cant say I've read the whole thing, but so far it seems pretty good.  You need to work on describing the settings in your story, and it might be a good idea to put each new bit of dialogue on a new line so it doesnt all seem to run together (like this sentence).  Also, you mispelled month.  Fix that   smile.  Anyway, good effort all around.  I give it an A-++-

Thank you for the review


Here we go again,


DIA base, New Marvin City, Decapod 10

Bender, Teki, Armin, Lele and Fry walked through the vast entrance hall. 'No more Shadowbots?' Teki asked, looking around fearfully. 'I guess they are all afraid of getting there asses kicked by Raging Bender!' Bender said, flexing imaginary mucles. 'Captain Rodregez, so glad you could join us' Thaarg's voice said over the PA. 'I hope you enjoyed my little welcoming commitee?' 'Yeah, sure did. You know me, any excuse to start picking a fight.'
Then a door opened and Thaarg's voice said 'Well, if you loved that then you will love this!' and the floor began to move in the direction of the open door. Then, they were inside the chamber where Amy was on a platform attached to mannicles that forced her into an X shape. 'Mom!' Teki said, and he began to run towards her. Bang! Teki was flung across the room. Thaarg was standing with a smoking ray gun 'Ah ah ah, no touching the weapon' 'You son of a glitch!' Bender yelled. 'You didnt give him a head start or nothing!' 'Is he ok?' Fry asked.
'I dont know, I'm not a medi bot.' Fry turned to Thaarg 'You really did it this time, lizard boy. I just activated a distress beacon. The USS Nordlander is in orbit around this planet. Right now it is dispaching some star fighters to openfire on this exact location.' 'In other words, you are Royally Boned, my friend' Bender added. 'Please,' Thaarg said, waving a dismissive hand 'I'm an intergalactic warlord who has distroyed at least 57 civilisations, I think I can handle a little thing such as the DOOP.' Thaarg nodded to one of his Minions. 'Send some ships to 'greet' them.' 'With all due respect, your impiralness,' The Minion said 'Wouldnt it be easyer to blow them up?'
'I think that was implyed by what I said' 'Implyed?' 'Just dispach the damned warships!' Thaarg snapped. The Minion saluted and left.  Thaarg then turned to the others 'You see, I have come prepeared. I guess when your 417 years old you tend to gain a little expirience in battle.' 'Your 417!!' Fry said, agast. 'You sure dont look it' 'Why thank you. But flattery will get you nowhere with me, Mr Fry. Earth is going to be distroyed, one way or another.' He turned to Amy and said 'Lena, it is time.' 'Lena?' Fry said but he stopped short when he saw something he hoped never to see again, Amy glowing with a blue light. But it was brighter that it was in the D&M Piramid and when Amy spoke it was not in her own voice but in the same hash tone the she had used on Mars. 'Know this, mortals, the dytruction of planet Earth is as inevitable as the rising and setting of the sun' Amy said 'Every single human being will perish, including you and the one whose body I am condemmed to dwell inside.' 'What has Earth done to deserve this?' Fry asked. 'It has waged countless wars against alien races resulting in deaths of thousands. It has spread nothing but pain and hatred through out the Universe. And don't even get me started on that God-awful Joey spinoff!' 'Look, I think we all hate that Joey spinoff but that no reason to kill humanity. We also gave the world Mc Donalds, The Simpsons, Eddie Murphy and Corn In A Can.'
'SILENCE!' Barked Lena/Amy. 'Amy, if your in there you have to fight her!' Fry yelled. Lena/Amy screwed up her eyes as though in pain. 'I....cant!' Amy wept. 'YOU SEE!' Lena screamed triumphantly 'I am all powerfull, noone can resist my will!' 'Amy,' Fry said 'AMY IS NOT HERE! I AM LENA QUICKSILVER!' The blue light became very bright now. It was lighting the chamber up. 'Amy, you remember when Kif got impregnated by Leela?' Fry asked. Armin turned to Bender with a puzzled look on his face. 'Long story.' Bender said.
'AMY IS DEAD I AM LENA QUICKSILVER!!!' Amy/Lena then broke free of the manicles and fired a bolt of green lightning at Fry from her hand. The bolt however stopped short inches from him. It then turned around and hit Amy/Lena. A huge turquiose explotion ripped through the chamber. From it, Amy, now blood stained and full of rage ran at Fry. She once more sent green lightning at him again it backfired on her. Fry then grabbed hold of her hands forced them skyward. 'Amy fight her, you can do it!'Fry said. Amy screamed. And a blue light surrounded them both. The howling noise returned louder than ever. 'AMY LISTEN TO ME!' Fry screamed over the noise. 'THIS ISNT YOU, YOU DONT DO STUFF LIKE THIS!' 'HOW DO YOU KNOW? JUST BECAUSE YOU DATED ME FOR A FEW WEEKS YOU THINK THAT MAKES YOU AN AMY WONG EXPERT?' 'YOU SEE! YOU STILL HAVE HER MEMORIES!' Fry said 'YOU HAVE TO FIGHT LENA. JUST THINK AMY THOUGHTS!' 'SHUT UP! I AM LENA QUICKSILVER!' 'NAME THREE GIFTS THAT KIF GAVE YOU WHILE YOU WERE DATING!' 'A HOVER BIKE, A DOZEN CUDDLE BEARS AND A WATCH THAT TELLS THE TIME WHERE WE BOTH ARE!' A look of shock came over Amy/Lena
as soon as she had finished 'HOW THE HELL DID I KNOW THAT?' 'BECAUSE AMY IS STILL IN THERE SOMEWERE, YOU HAVENT WON LENA' 'THATS WHAT YOU THINK!' Suddenly a huge red light shone brightly and then it went dark.
Teki opened his eyes, he was covered with a blanket. He looked around, he was in a cell. He jumped at the sound of someone behind him. 'Mom?' 'No, Lele. Take it easy you need to rest.' Teki got up, the blanket turned out to be Lele's jacket. 'Here,' Lele said, handing him a bowl. 'This stuff  is what they give there prisoners.' 'What happened?' Asked Teki. 'I on O, Your mom and my dad had a fight.' 'Who won?' Teki said, nervously.'You tell me. there was this flash, and Dad and your mom were unconcious. They took them somewere' 'Who?' 'Those Durg guys.' And you let them!' 'I only had a pulse gun, they had Atomizer Rifles'
Teki sighed 'Where are we, some sort of Durg prison?' 'I think so. Just get some sleep OK?' 

New New DOOP Headquarters, obiting Neptune

'Gareth Merrywinkle Leslie Gygax, you have been brought before this court to appeal to be transported back to your own time. Correct?' Glab said, staring down from her high desk down at the famous boardgame creator.
'Yes, mayam.' Gary said 'I wish to be retuned to err December 31 1999.' 'You wish for us to transport you back through time to a specific point in Earth's history?' 'If its not too much of a bother for you' Gygax said, somewhat sheepishly. 'Oh no,' Glab said sarcasiclly 'We often transport people back in time.' 'You do?' 'No, I was being sarcastic. The fact is you have not given us enough evidence to proove that you are indeed from the 20th century.' 'I know the words for the Friends theme song of by heart' 'Please, that prooves nothing, we have been waching Friends reruns for 400 years, Joey reruns for 500 years.' 'So... where does that leave me?' 'You will be drafted into the Earth Army and sent to Bagdaad 7, a planet ruled by an evil cyborg who may or may not have Weapons Of Planetary Distruction that could reach Earth within 45,000 years.' 'Crap.'

New Marvin City, Decapod 10

Teki jumped awake. He stared around the cell, Lele was gone. The cell door was open. Teki got up and went through it. He walked down a long gray coridoor and into a small chamber. He tripped over a boot that was lieing on the floor. He picked it up. It was Lele's. Her other boot was lieing nearby, as was the rest of her clothes.
He then ran through another door and down a narrow corridoor. Something was wrong, Lele was in trouble and he had to save her.
Lele opened her eyes. She was naked and covered with a white sheet. She tried to get up but she was strapped to the table. She looked around, Amy was lieing next to her. Lele then realized that she had wires on her head and arms. Amy did too. Thaarg then entered the room, followed by Dr Flibble. 'So,' Flibble said 'Here we have two generations of the experiment. The daughter of the first weapon and the current weapon.' 'Interesting' Thaarg said. 'Tell me, Thaarg,' Amy said 'Do you usally strip your guests naked and strap them to tables?' ' Only the ones I like.' Thaarg sneered. 'So,' Lele said 'What are you going to do to us?' 'Oh, my arnt we the curious type?'
'In 2880, Alvyn Wernstrom, who was then President Of Mars, met in secret with Ernst Rowenbaum, who was then President Of Earth. They dicussed creating a geneticlly enginerred super being-' 'Hang on,' Amy said 'My father said that the first weapon was in 2975' 'That was the progects that he KNEW about. We didnt feel the need to tell him just how big this thing was.' 'OK, why did you invade Mars? What was the deal with the whole D&M  pyramid thing?' 'The Pyramid was built 2,000 years ago by an alien race called the Bloogians, it was originally intended to protect the Mighty One's Homeworld but I found a better use for it.' Thaarg smiled sardonically at Amy. 'It was very easy, I had visited your planet five years before the invation, studied its land marks and the pyramid. The rest you know.' 'What do you want from me and Lele?' 'Infomation on how to defeat this Mighty One.' Lele stared at Thaarg 'Mighty One?' 'Oh come now! Your not fooling any one, lest of all me. I am familliar with the prophecy, the Other and all that. I know about him lacking the Delta Brainwave. Now, tell me how to defeat him!' 'First you tell us about your little science progect in 2880.' 'Very well, all modern mutants are decended from the attempts by us to create a super being. In 2892 the World Goverment forced all the mutants to live underground. The progect was abandoned.' 'Untill 2975?' Amy said '2974.' Thaarg corrected. 'An expert in Exolinguistics from Loowater Springs Univercity, found out she was pregnant. A DNA test prooved her to be the least mutated mutant ever. We thought our day had finally come. But before we could get out hands on the baby, they shipped it off to an Orphanarium in Cookieville. The place was run by a former member of the DOOP Science Department,  Sheldon Vougle. He cottened on to our experiment immediately and hid her from us. Then when she left, he got her a job at Applied Cryogenics and made sure that her boss, Ipgee Kasheem, knew about us. That made it impossible to pursue her.' 'Did  Professer Farnsworth know?' Lele said 'Of course he did,' Thaarg said 'He was the man behind the whole thing!' 'What!' Lele said, astonished to say the least. 'Of course, he never intended for it to be used in the way that we wanted.' 'I allways did have a sence of disdain when it came to humans. Although it is ironic that I am going to distroy Earth using there own technology. But enough of this idle chit chat, I am a busy Intergalactic Warlord.'  Pain flashed throughout Lele's body. 'Ahhh! what are you doing to us?' 'Extracting infomation from your brain by scanning it.' Thaarg said calmly 'Its a patented Durgian prosedure.' Bang! Teki ran into the room, pursued by two Durgian Guards. 'What is this!' Dr Flibble yelped. 'How did he get out!?' Thaarg yelled.
Teki ducked between Flibble's legs. 'I'll save you Mom and Lele!' Thaarg flew at Teki. Teki ducked under him and ran for the tables.
Bender once more attempted to break the door down while Armin lay on the bunk waching him with a look of contempt on his face. 'There's no point in trying, were closed in.' Bender turned to Armin, his head dented slighty and said, 'My friends need me, I aint gonna give up.' 'These walls are made of Omniite, the strongest metal in the Univerce, the Guard told us.' 'So what? I'm 23% Omniite!' Bang! The wall of there cell collapsed.
Teki stood on the rubble smiling, holding an Atomizer Rifle. Followed by Amy and Lele now fully clothed.
'Were did you get that?' Bender asked.' 'Kicked Thaarg in the grion and picked it up when he dropped it.'
Teki said. 'Oh, Teki,' Amy said 'You father would be so proud of you, if he wernt a cloud of atoms floating around the cosmos. Oh, I made myself sad.' 'Enough of this paraphrasing, we need to find Fry!' Teki said.

USS Nordlander, orbiting Decapod 10

Wattenburg paced the length of his study then the subspace vidphone on his desk rang. He pressed the answer button. The face of Admiral S. Dinklemeyer appeared on the screen. 'Enver,' Dinklemeyer said 'What is the situation on Decapod 10?' 'We have not gotten word back from the attack ships that were sent to the surface.' 
'Damn, this is one spleck of a mess, Enver. We need to contact Sheldon' 'Does he still work at  the Orphanarium?' Dinklemeyer stroked his chin thoughtfully. 'I dont know' He said 'I'll find out. Meanwhile get a call out to Fleetwood, he may be able to help us.'

Decapod 10

Fry was sitting in a room. He sat in a hard metal chair staring down at the shiny silver suface of the table in front of him. The room was dimly lit by a light in the ceiling. Fry glanced at the lone Durgian Guard at the door. 'Can I have a glass of water?' Fry asked timidly. The guard sneered at Fry and said 'Shut up and quit wining.'
Thaarg then entered the room. 'Your daughter and her friends gave us quite a bit of trouble,' 'Where are they?' Fry asked 'If youve hurt them-' 'Mr Fry, I would never harm the spawn of the Mighty One.' Thaarg smiled. 'Are you familliar with a race called the Eterniums?' Thaarg asked. 'I'm NOT familliar with them' 'He must have blanked your memory.' 'Who?' 'Lord Nibblonius Tiberus Francis Wutitick Obrangelion III, he is a member of a long lived race that is said to have existed scince the beginning of time.' 'What does this have to do with Amy?'
'Because she is the Other.' 'Other? Wait a munite....now I remember, the Infosphere and...but Nibbler said Leela was the Other.' 'He was either mistaken or lying, Amy is the other.' 'How do you know?' Fry said, angry now. 'The Eterniums got this prophecy by translating Bloogian letters on a stone tablet. However, the Bloogian  word for 'red planet' is 'te'yun, nehad' which resembles the Eternium word for 'one eye', 'tayum naarhadd'.
'Right' Fry said, scraching his head. 'You understand?' 'Nope.' Bang! Again! The wall behind Thaarg and Fry crumbled. 'Fear not, Mr Lele's Dad we're here to save you!' Teki said, holding a smoking Atomizer Rifle.

Planet Eternium, the center of the Universe

An old Eternium sat on a large throne encrusted with bright purple jewels. His name was Balphazar, and he was the Grand Spokesperson To The High Elders. He was over 4,000 years old. He was snoozing when his assistent, Dewport came in. 'My leige,' Dewport said, bowing so that his eyestalk touched the ground.  Balphazar jumped awake and frowned when he saw Dewport 'By the Five Gods Of Mercy, why did you wake me during naptime?! You know how I get if I dont get at least 3 hours of sleep a day!' 'Begging your forgivness sir, but I bring inportant news regarding the Mighty One.' 'I see. Well what news do you bring.' 'He has escaped from Decapod 10 and is heading for Titan right now, sir'
'I see' 'He is going to rendevous with a man called Gary Gygax, and together they are going to travel to 1947 to get the Ultronium Stone.' 'I see, we must travel to Titan also.'
'Aye sir!' Dewport said.

USS Nordlander, space

'So, let me get this strait,' Wattenburg said 'You want to travel to 1999 then meet up with Professer Farnsworth's Great Great ect Grandfather, Cid Farnsworth and then use his time machine to travel to 1947 to steal the Ultronium Stone from the Roswell Army Base? Where upon you will travel to 2880 to prevent Earth President Rowenbaum from investing in the Durgian nanobot project thus altering history and preventing the distruction of Mars?' 'Thats the jist of it, yes' Bender said. Wattenburg sighed 'This is a huge violation of the Temporal Anomoly Prevention Act 2171. But I guess if it is going to result in the prevention of over a million deaths, so be it, Ill be in my quarters.' And he left. Bender turned and saw Fry staring out of the window. 'Yo! Fry, whats wrong?' 'Leela will be erased if we do this, wont she? No nanobot project, no mutants, no mutants, no Leela. and no...' he paused, his eyes full of tears. He turned to look at Lele who was having a drinking contest with Teki. 'Oh..' Bender said, realising 'Aw gee, Fry I'm sorry, but maybe being eradicated from existence wont be so bad for them.' 'Yeah, maybe.' Fry said wipeing his eyes on his sleeve.

A few light years behind the Nordlander, a small Eternian scout ship carrying Balphazar and Dewport.

The pilot, Newton sat at the controls. Dewport was attempting to build a card tower on a table in the ships lounge while  Balphazar paced back and fourth impatianly clicking his tounge. 'Oh I cant stand it!' He exlaimed, causing Dewport to jump and knock his card tower down. 'Cant stand what, master?' Dewport said 'This! Why cant anyone see what is odvious to me, you and Newton? That Fry is not our savyour? I objected to this whole damned plan when Ken purposed it!' Balphazar snorted 'Freezing Fry! What did that accomplish?' 'Well, he defeated the Brain Spawn.' Dewport said diplomaticaly. 'Brain Spawn Shmain Shmawn! Anyone could have done that with proper instructions!' Dewport returned to his card tower, he was well used to his masters rantings about the Mighty One, Ken, and life in general really. One thing that upset him most was how, back in 1997, he was sent on a mission to the Applied Cryogenics to freeze the Mighty One along with two other Eternians. However he accidenly spilled a coffee cup on the fuse box causing a huge power failure.
Luckly for him the janitor was blaimed. Unlucky for him, he was demoted to GSTTHE something that has haunted him all his life. Newton then called from the cockpit. Grand Spokesperson, we are aproaching Titan.'

Titan Penal Colony,Titan

'I hoped I would never return to this place.' Amy said, glumly staring out of the Nordlanders cockpit window at the cargo bay below. Fry remained quiet, the prospect of erasing his family from history disturbed the hell out of him. 'Fry?' Amy said, turning to face him. 'Whats wrong?' 'Nothing I-'
'Buggalocrap. You havent spoken a word scince we left Decapod 10, whats wrong? Was it something that Thaarg-' 'Dont speak to me about him!' Fry snapped. He turned and walked towards the door. He looked back at Amy 'Wattenburg spoke to the guys at the TPC they say that you are free to come with us, as long as a DOOP Security Officer is with you at all times.

Harris Dunfermline, the Security Officer who had been asigned to guard Amy Kroker, was a hardend milatery man. A gruff looking vetran of World War IV, he was a no nonsence kind of guy. Try and imagine Homer Simpson with pink skin and short balding black hair, thats what Dunfermline lookes like.

Harris paced the floor waiting for the Nordlander to offload. When Amy was brought off he snarled 'About time!' 'This is Amy Kro-' began Wattenburg 'I know who she is zammit! I was briefed be forehand!' 'He he brief!' Bender giggled as he walked down the loading ramp.

Dewport peered over some crates at the crew talking to Harris. 'Well? Is the Mighty One with them?' asked Balphazar. 'Yes.' 'Good we will follow them.' Balphazar turned to Newton.
'Park the shuttle and wait for us to get back from the past.' 'Ok sir.' And he walked off.

Gygax was stood in the middle of a silver platform with a huge blue light shining down when the others walked in. 'This,' Glab said 'Is a Temporal Displacement Field Generator. If all goes well, it will transport you back to the year 1999' 'And if all doesnt go well?' asked Armin, nervously. 'You will die a horrible death.' An assistent gestured for Fry, Bender, Teki, Lele, Armin, Harris, Gary and Amy to get on the pad. 'Begin temporal displacement.' Glab said. Suddenly the blue light turned purple and a rumbling noise could be heard. 'Transport in T-minus 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3-' 'Come on,' Balphazar said grabbing hold of Dewport who said 'I dont think this is covered by my insuraaaaaaaance!' Balphazar jumped through the displacement field taking Dewport with him. And they all vanished with a ZAP!

Newton reached the shuttle and got into the cockpit. He pressed a few buttons on the subpace vidphone and the dark shadowy face of a human man appeared on the screen. 'Is it done?' the man asked in a rather thick Southern accent. 'Almost, sir the Grand Spokesperson has traveled to the past' 'And the Mighty One?' 'He will be with you soon.' 'Exelent, you have my gratitude, my dear Newton. Thaarg will offer a high price for a prize such as this, pehaps a seat of power in his New Universal Order.' 'Heres hoping.' Newton said, grinning evillly.

December 31 1999

 Applied Cryogenics building, New York City, Earth

11.50 PM

The door opened and Dewport and Balphazar ran into the room. 'Right,' Balphazar said 'We don't have long, we need to find Nibbler and convince him not to freeze Fry.' 'I dont know...' Dewport said reluctantly 'Ken will be mad when he finds out about this.' 'IF he finds out.' corrected Balphazar.
He and Dewport stopped talking as the sound of a door opening reached them. They tensed but it was Nibbler. Nibbler stopped short when he saw them. 'Balphazar? I thought you were on Eternium?' 'We are from the future, the year 3030 to be precice' Balphazar said grandly. '3030?' Nibbler stammered 'But we dont have the ability to-' 'We-er- hiched a ride.' 'Why have you come here?' asked Nibbler. Balphazar opened his mouth to speak but as he did so the door opened again. 'Quick! Hide!' Nibbler hissed, as a 25 year old  Fry entered the room, carrying a pizza box and a pack of beer. 'Hello?' he said, fortunatly not noticing Dewport and Balphazar clambering into a dustbin to hide.  'Pizza delivery for-' he paused and glanced at a peice of paper that was in his hand
'I.C Wiener? Awww! Crud! I really thought by this point in my life, I'd be the one making the crank calls.' He sighed and sat down. Nibbler, who leaped under the table when Fry came in, got ready to push him in the tube.
Suddenly, he felt himself being grabbed from behind. He then found himself face to face with another Fry, this one wearing a Eternian space suit. 'I dont under stand!' Nibbler stammered 'Yes you do, ' snapped Spacesuit Fry 'You came back in time to knock me into that freezer and now I've came back in time to stop you!' 'I did not come back in time, my people lack that ability.'

New Jersey, Earth

Cid Farnsworth had just returned from a New Years Eve party. He was still very drunk and so hardly noticed when several people burst into his apartment. He woozely looked at  all the people surrounded him. 'Who are all you?' '1,000 years from now one of your male decendents gets busy with one of my female decendents,' Fry said 'Your great great grandson is Professer Hubert Jarnette Farnsworth.'
'Errr ok.' Cid scrached his head thoughtfully as he tried to remember if vodka had hallucinagenic properties. 'Long story short, we need to get this Ultronium Stone before this evil alien warlord gets it and uses it to take over the Univerce.' Bender added 'Ultronium Stone?!' stammered Farnsworth
'You've heard of it.' Lele asked 'Yes, I have. In 1946 I was part of a group of goverment scientists who were told to find out the properties of the Ultronium Stone, however it sent most of the men insane.'
'Insane?' Fry said 'Yes, they all came down with some sort of mental illness that caused them to act out of character, do things that they would never do.' 'How come you weren't affected?' Fry asked. 'I do not know.'  'Look, are we gonna stay here chatting all day? We got a Universe to save here, people!' Bender said. 'He's right, lets blow this joint and get to 1947.' '1947? Why?' 'Because thats where Gary said that the Ultronium Stone was, Roswell, New Mexico.' 'But what do you want with the Stone?' 'We need to use it to save the Universe, jackass!' Bender said 'Now quit stalling and get us to the 1940's before I kick your ass!'

July 8 1947

Roswell, New Mexico, Earth

The time pod arreared with a zap! Cid and the rest got out. 'I didnt know the 1940's was so barren.' Armin observed. 'Shhh! Fry said 'I hear a car coming!' A lot of milatary cars pulled up next to the guys.
Major Jesse Marcel Jnr and General Ramey got out. 'What are you civilians doing out here?' Ramey demanded. 'Perhaps there Communist spies.' said Marcel. 'No, were just....tourists from.....Cleveland.' said Cid. 'Hmmmm, are there any Communists in Cleveland?' Marcel asked Ramey. 'Perhaps, but I doubt it.' He turned to the crew, 'Ok, you Clevelandians, if you see any Communists you tell us, you hear?' 'Yes sir!' Cid said. CRASH! A huge bang sounded from over the hills. 'What in Betsy was that?' The turned back only to find that the guys and the time pod had gone.

Spacesuit Fry blew on Past Fry's chair, causing him to fall backwards into the tube. 'Yes! Here I come, future!'
Fry said 'Oh no, I'm gonna get trapped in the Infosphere again!' He turned to Nibbler 'Just remember that Scooty Puff Jnr suuuucks!!!' and with that, he dissapeared with a zap! 'In a thousand years, I'll get right on it!'  Nibbler aid. 'Can we come out now?' asked Dewport's muffled voice from inside the bin. 'I think there is some left over pizza in here that has anchovies on it, I hate the smell of anchovies!!' 'It is safe for you to come out, yes' 'Good.' Balphazar said as he decended rather undignifidly from the bin to the floor. 'Lord Nibbler, as Grand Spokesperson To The High Elders, I  here by envoke statute number 404/1K of the Eternium High Council Protocol Regarding Prophecy Forfillment of 1293, your actions have coraviened the law which states that interfereing with forfillment of a prophecy taints its forfillment in itself, calling into question the EHC's faith in the High Elders in regards to the Mighty One. So, you are here by demoted to Sub-Lord.'  'WHAT!?' Nibbler exlaimed 'You cannot do that, the Grand Spokesperson does not have the power to invoke statutes of the EHCPRPF!' 'Not yet but a law that was passed by the EHC in 3025 says that in the event of a serious breach of the EHCPRPF, the Grand Spokesperson shall have the power to demote the offending parties.' Balphazar said smugly. 'That law does not exist yet. The only law that can be upheld outside of its  its timeline is the Temporal Anomoly Prevention Act of 2171.' Dewport reminded him. 'Oh Dewport,' Balphazar said shaking his head 'Dewport Dewport Dewport. Our timeline holds a precident over this one, you just mentioned it, the TAPA. This prophecy is a breach of the TAPA, it involves an act which is illegal under section B77/445 wich states quite clearly, 'No one person, with acsess to a time machine shall alter the blood line of his family by either;

A) preventing the birth of a relative
B) interacting with future relatives
C) being sexually involved with a future relitive

As the Mighty One prophecy violates that law, it is illegal and should be dissolved.' Nibbler stared at the smug look on Balphazar's face, fury bubbling inside his little body. 'The Brain Spawn must be defeated at all costs, if that means violating a few laws then so be it and you can hardly arrest me, with out admitting that you too have violated the TAPA.' 'He's got you there, sir.' Dewport said. Anger flayed across Balphazar's furry face 'Curse you, Nibbler! And your knowlege of beuraucraticall loopholes!'


The time pod was about the size of an RV. It had a toilet and a kichenette. The Gang stood in the cockpit as the pod rumbled along the road to Roswell on decendable catterpillar tracks. The instruments showed the year they were in, 1947 and the year that they had just left, 1999. But also there geographical location, 5 miles from Roswell.
Old fasioned cars passed them in the opposite direction and Fry wondered how weird it must look to them.
Dawn was approaching fast. Although Fry noticed that the street laps on the road were still on. Harris had his Laser Pistol at the ready and was waching Amy like a hawk. Amy gave him an uneasy glance out of the corner of her eye.
'Is that really neccecary?' she said. 'You reduced an inhabited planet to a peice of rock no larger that a Jack Russel's head so yes.' Harris said shortly. 'Now now,' came Cid's voice from behind the pilot chair 'We will have plenty of time to argue when we are not dead.'

January 1, 2000

The Fry Homestead, Queens, New York, Earth

Yancy Snr had taken his family in to the fallout shelter/ basement to sit out the holocaust that would follow the Y2K computer crash. 'This is the thing we have all been waiting for. Now after the fallout food supply will be very scarce.
So I have packed us enough food to las us untill some time in 2004.' 'Dad, why are we doing this?' Yancy Jnr asked. He pointed to a TV showing Dick Clark New Years Rocking Eve 'Clearly humanity has not been wiped out.' 'Communist propoganda' Yancy Snr said, turning off the TV. 'Hay!' Lola said 'Yancy! I was waching that!' 'TV is a unneeded drain on our eletrical generator.'Yancy Snr said, gesturing at Seymour, who was walking on a tread mill attached to a dynamo. Suddenly Seymour leaped off the tread mill and started barking at the basment door. The door burst open and Dewport and Balphazar stood in the doorway. 'Ah!' Yancy Snr screamed 'Rats! Get the broom Lola!'
'We are not rats.' Balphazar said 'We are Eternians from a distant planet at the center of the Universe.'
Yancy Snr stared at the two. 'Your aliens, comming here to spread your evil Communist ways on our democratic planet?! This shall not stand! Yancy, get my gun.' 'Please, I inplore you! I know the where abouts of your son.'
'Phillip? You kidnapped my boy?!' 'Let me explain, your son is a very special person to my people, he lacks the Delta Brainwave.' 'Delta Brainwave? Didnt they win last years Eurovision Song Contest?' Asked Yancy Jnr. 'Negative. Look we will take you to where your son is.'


Fry shuddered in side the cockpit of the time pod. 'Whats wrong' asked Cid 'I'm...not sure but what ever it is its very very bad.'


Bending Unit
« Reply #3 on: 12-26-2005 18:53 »

I am not posting another part unless I get feedback.

Bending Unit
« Reply #4 on: 12-26-2005 21:20 »

Hey, I just read everything you've posted so far and I like it. It has an interesting plot and some good ideas and I want to see where it's going. It has some funny lines in it; I liked "You son of a glitch!"  laff

It just needs some work on punctuation, grammar and spelling - maybe you could get a beta reader. Also it might be easier to read if you separated the dialogue so it is on a new line for each new character speaking rather than all in the same paragraph.

I'm a little confused with the dates - you said Amy was born in 2980 and that the thingies explode when the person's 30 - which, for Amy, would be 3010. But wouldn't she be 49 in 3029? 19 years after she was supposed to explode?

Anyway, please keep writing. It still needs some work but it's good.  big grin

Bending Unit
« Reply #5 on: 12-28-2005 06:07 »

The nanobots had allready exploded and started to multiply. All will be reveald in part three.

Bending Unit
« Reply #6 on: 12-28-2005 10:48 »

Oh, I get it!  smile
Please do post more!

Bending Unit
« Reply #7 on: 01-01-2006 07:29 »

Originally posted by Arkan:
Oh, I get it!   smile
Please do post more!

Here you go mate,

If It's Not One Thing Its The Other


Paris, France

Peirre Toiracse paced the bare floor of the tiny semi-derelict cottage just a minute's drive out of Paris. He rubbed his palms together, the cottage had no form of heating.
He saw something out of the corner of his eye and saw a car pull  up and saw a tall, brown haired man get out. He had a long thin face that made him look vaguely
skeletal. His name was Edik Simmermann he was accompanyed by another man. The both entered the cottage. 'Good evening, Peirre.' Edik said  flawless French.
'Good?!' stammered Peirre in the same language 'That's hardly what I would call it! The authorities have been swarming all over the plase. This plan is too risky, if the
French Goverment-' 'Excuse me,' spoke up the other man in English 'I would like to be able to understand what is going on.' 'Excuse us, Joseph,' Edik said apologetically
'but my friend Pierre can only say one phrase of English, wich is not a very good conversation starter, unless you wish to be asked over and over again where the nearest
library is.' 'What was that?' Peirre said sharply 'what did you say to him about me?' 'Only that you have trouble speaking English. Stop being so paronoid.'
 'I have a right to be,' Peirre said, igoring Joseph's groan of impatiance as the French talking started up again 'I dont know if you know this but the project is not going according to
plan. Cid Farnsworth has been in contact with me he says-' 'Did that French guy just say something about Cid Farnsworth?' 'Ferme vou bouche!' Peirre yelled impatiantly
'as I was saying, Cid says that the secret Cryogenic laboratory he is building is running into problems he needs funding.' 
What did he say about Cid Farnsworth?' Joseph demanded of Edik. Peirre walked up to Joseph and said in his best attempt at English
 'Cid...broke....need....more.. .money.'  he turned to Edik 'See?' he said, returning to his home tounge 'I can speak English well.'
 'Could we hurry this up please?' Joseph said, impatiantce returning to his voice once more 'My wife has just had a baby and I dont want to leave her alone for too long.'
'Ah...such paternal loving is to be admired.' Edik said smiling in a fatherly way. 'Can we get down to business?' Peirre said, axious now. ''We will give Cid the funding he needs,
I have a property in New York that  can be used.' Edik said walking towards the door. 'How did you get hold of that?' 'I am Edik Simmermann.' Edik said in the tone of someone
explaining the law of gravity. 'Joseph,' Edik said 'go and wait in the car, I'll be right out. ' Joseph walked out casting a distrusful look at Peirre. 'You haven't told him, have you?'
Edik surveyed him for a moment 'You think I should have told him?'  'Mon Deiu yes! Your using his own-'  Edik put up a hand to silence him. 'You worry too much,' he said
'I will worry about Joseph, you just do your job.' 'Non! I refuse to take part in this any longer! I'll tell the DCPJ of this, I-' 'Enough, you, my friend have been involved in this, and
have been for forty years, money from your company has funded this project so if you do intend to tell the DCPJ of this then tell them that too.' Peirre stammered then
sighed and said 'Why do I get the feeling that this goes deeper that you wanting to take over the world?' Edik smiled and said 'You have a vivid imagination, Peirre.'

Dont panic this does have something to do with the story, this is like a prologue sort of thing. Sorta like the beginning of the Harry Potter book Goblet Of Fire.

Bending Unit
« Reply #8 on: 01-07-2006 17:48 »

I'm not posting part 2 untill I get feedback as there is no point continuing if I dont know if I am doing good or not.

Urban Legend
« Reply #9 on: 01-07-2006 18:49 »

What about passion for the writing? For the fun?  Or, are you just writing it for attention?

Bending Unit
« Reply #10 on: 01-07-2006 19:41 »

Its all very well writing for fun, but there is no point in posting if people are not going to post feedback, positive or otherwise.

Urban Legend
« Reply #11 on: 01-07-2006 19:57 »

How about for the love of writing?
Ralph Snart

Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
« Reply #12 on: 01-08-2006 12:14 »

Yo Yardstick.  The story is good, however if you have ntoticed, other than 'Offtopic', most of the board is slow.  Even DAveMac's 'Background Noise' (TLZ's most widely read fanfic) has gotten very little response. 

Whether it's this time of year, or phase of the moon, or whatever, PEEL has its moments of several posts, then slow times of few posts.

If you like your story, then continue writing - there are a lot of people who lurk but don't post.  Then there's people like me - I'll post because I have no life other than taking care of my wife, working and going to the gym (to get away from the wife and work).

If you're writing to be popular, then Bad News, Everyone.  No matter what you write, there will ALWAYS be somebody to critisize your work.  They'll say you strayed from canon; you made Leela too bitchy, you made Fry too smart, you made Zapp too smooth.  Something, somewhere will not appeal to somebody.

So basically, if you like writing and want to share it with us, then great.  But don't expect popularity because of your fics - it ain't going to happen.  Sad, I know, but it's true.

I do hope that you continue to write and post, but do so because it's something that you like doing.

Ralph 'Old, Tired and Cynical' Snart

Okay you cunts, let's see what you can do now.

Bending Unit
« Reply #13 on: 01-08-2006 16:08 »
« Last Edit on: 01-08-2006 16:08 »

Thats all very well and good, Ralph. But I was not writing to be popluar I was writing so that fellow netizens around the globe can read it. But whats the point in continuing writing a story if noone gives it a review saying how good/bad it is.

Bending Unit
« Reply #14 on: 01-15-2006 16:17 »
« Last Edit on: 01-23-2006 00:00 »


The time pod rumbled its way towards Roswell on its catterpillar tracks.Cid looked inently at Fry. 'You OK?' he asked.
'If your gonna barf, aim away from my paint job.' Bender said.'Yeah, I just got a funky feeling is all.'Fry said.
Rufus J. Horzawitz III winced slightly as he put an ice pack on his bruised knee.

I'll edit with more later.

Urban Legend
« Reply #15 on: 01-15-2006 20:16 »

why only one paragraph yardstick? 

Bending Unit
« Reply #16 on: 01-16-2006 04:58 »

That is all I have written thus far, I will edit it with more later.

Bending Unit
« Reply #17 on: 01-23-2006 15:17 »

For the rest of my story read my last post in this thread

Bending Unit
« Reply #18 on: 01-24-2006 05:02 »

You know, I think it is a bit stupid to post just one scentance. I think I'll just wait untill I have something more substantial. It may take a while, though, I have a bad case of writers block.
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