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soylentOrange
Urban Legend
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nice action sequence. You might want to go back and check your grammar and sentence structure before you post your next section though. the station computer calculated the optimal trajectory for its missiles judge from the ship speed, altitude, irregular flying pattern and it's special anti idiot pilot algorithm. This algorithm was specially designed to expect that the pilot of an enemy ship was a suicidal idiot with no self-preservation what so ever and thus would survive as luck always sided with fools. anti-idiot algorithms... I love it . a few minor nitpicks: what so ever should be: whatsoever miss the PE ship, he let go of the controls full stop instead of comma Unfortunately, Fry had not fasten himself to the pilot seat had not fastened
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Tokash
Crustacean
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« Reply #2 on: 12-14-2005 11:17 »
« Last Edit on: 12-14-2005 11:17 »
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It does need some grammatical and spelling work. But it's sufficient to understand the sequences you're portraying. There are good creative and humorous visuals; one I especially liked that made me chuckle out loud: Originally posted by Corvus: ...a flight that ended when the delivery boys head made it's own painful delivery to the ship front window... Brush up on the grammar and keep going with it. Your idea has just begun to blossom.
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Corvus
Bending Unit
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« Reply #7 on: 01-01-2006 08:15 »
« Last Edit on: 03-15-2006 00:00 »
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Hi! Me again. Hope you all had a great New Year's Eve. I did. I present to you; Part two. (Of my dubious fan fict.) I do hope my grammar is better this time. (Fingers crossed.) I (yet again) thank FryIsMyHero for beta reading it. Edit: Gone
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Corvus
Bending Unit
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« Reply #10 on: 01-11-2006 07:19 »
« Last Edit on: 03-15-2006 00:00 »
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Ta-da! Here it is the final installment of my four part saga! For those who have enjoyed it, all good things must come to an end. For those who thought it was tripe, well, I'm sorry for wasting your time. But don't think for a moment that it's the last fan fic from me.. oh no no no.. Already working on my next. So without further ado; Part four, and as always, credits to FryIsMyHero for taking her time to beta. Edit: And Gone.
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Corvus
Bending Unit
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@Gopher, you're curious to see where I'm going with this? Well, you're not the only one! I have no idea... just kidding. I have a very good idea as to where, I just have to get there. (Writing it I mean. ) @Fryismyhero, credit? But you do the hard part.. I just write it. Originally posted by Fryismyhero: Glad I can be of some help, I just hope my internet doesn't crap out on me again and leave you waiting... Some? You're a great help. And I didn't mind the waiting. Well worth it.
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