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PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    spin off detective story « previous next »
Author Topic: spin off detective story  (Read 448 times)
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badpinkmummy

Bending Unit
***
« on: 11-30-2005 14:09 »

this is my first story so don't  expect it to be to great. episode one : sleeping with the fishes

Zoidberg and his trusty companion, Nibbler stood over the the giant aquarium. Inside the body of Scruffy floated across the bottom
"At the time of the killing." Zoidberg said. " The victim appeared to have soiled himself."
"meaning?" replied Nibbler.
" The victim was confronted by something more horrific than a hungry, hungry hippo."
   Nibbler dived into the tank and emerged holding the recipients underwear.
"Exhibit A." Zoidberg said examining the pants.
"The victim's mucky pants. They poo has seemed to arange itself into the shape of the galaxy alpha beta C."
"Of course it's so simple." Nibbler replied, slapping his head.

  A green ooze floated to the top of the tank
"Exhibit B. An alien ectoplasm. I think it's safe to say, we're dealing with some sick alien."
  From the cupboard more green ooze emerged, the duo opened it. The body of Dwight Conrad fell out.

This narrator feels that what Nibbler is about to say, out of all the words ever muttered. Best represented this situation.
"Bummer" 
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #1 on: 11-30-2005 14:49 »

there's not really enough here to comment on.  Post some more so we can get an idea of what's going on, what with Zoidberg making intelligent observations and Nibbler blowing his cover to talk to him.
badpinkmummy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #2 on: 11-30-2005 14:52 »

the story will be confusing as its a mystery stay tuned when more respond and for the second episode of my series

DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #3 on: 12-01-2005 05:06 »

Two questions:
  • Are you 15 years of age or older?
  • Is English your primary language?
badpinkmummy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #4 on: 12-01-2005 13:31 »

is that an insult? 

few points
1.im 14
2.yes english is my primary language

and ive had my work published
Dorian

Crustacean
*
« Reply #5 on: 12-01-2005 14:28 »

DrT always asks these questions and very sensible ones they are.

I think your stuff could actually show promise but  it's impossible to tell from so little. 

badpinkmummy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #6 on: 12-01-2005 14:59 »

thanks
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #7 on: 12-01-2005 15:12 »

That's a standard Dr.T question. He asks it to everyone so he can make an appropriate review. If that's why he made your enemy list then your taking it out of context.
badpinkmummy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #8 on: 12-01-2005 15:15 »

does anybody want a sequel called the Dwight is right
Worble

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #9 on: 12-01-2005 15:44 »
« Last Edit on: 12-01-2005 15:44 »

Ohhhh Niall, You and your storyline spin-offs, Hiya its me

I think your story was good but lacked detail, PEEL likes long and well-thought out stories, as is my understanding. I have neva been good at Futurama Spin-Offs
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #10 on: 12-02-2005 00:46 »
« Last Edit on: 12-02-2005 00:46 »

No, it's not an insult.  As you've probably guessed by now, bpm, I usually ask those questions before diving into a review.
badpinkmummy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #11 on: 12-02-2005 15:47 »

okay time for part 2 : the Dwight is right

Zoidberg walked over to the limp corpse of Dwight and tasted one of his dreads, and automatically upon arrival: he spit it back out.
"Errgh! Now I've done some crap in my time, and I don't know what this boys been doing."
"Let me see." Said Nibbler grabbing the soggy hair. He then inspected the hair closely for a few minutes, as Zoidberg played with his yo yo.

  "Well" Asked Zoidberg.
"I have worked out, what has happened...it all sepends on whether diarrhoea have two r's or two h's."
 Zoidberg paced wondering the links between victims crapping their pants and green goo, what alien creature did this? What was it's motive?
  "Zoiderg? Are you familar with TV presenter, Morbo?"
  "Of course, I watch his show on why your pee burns."
  "Well, on Dwight's top is the blood of his species."
  "I'm confused, I'm going to my thinking room."
  Zoidberg entered the thinking room (aka the loo) and sat down on the thinking chair(aka the toilet).
 
  "Hmm, why would alien celebrity, Morbo come down here to San Francisco to murder the son of a rastafarian?...Theres only one thing to do. Nibbler get my hoverbike ready we're going to LA."

  "And get some wipes I've got a problem."


yeah my story's kinda rubbish. But I enjoy making them.
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #12 on: 12-02-2005 21:10 »

I hope you'll understand why I am not going to be posting any more reviews.
badpinkmummy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #13 on: 12-03-2005 11:37 »
« Last Edit on: 12-03-2005 11:37 »

you know i can also draw as well as write (I draw much better than when I write)
do you like it?




badpinkmummy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #14 on: 12-05-2005 14:03 »
« Last Edit on: 12-05-2005 14:03 »

these are more images I drew (these are thumbnails so click on for good viewing) these are all of Nibbler:
1.Internet headset Nibbler



2.Nibbler attacked by brain slug



3.Nibbler against brainspawn



hope you like them
Benders_Fan

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #15 on: 12-14-2005 19:19 »

They're pretty good.
badpinkmummy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #16 on: 12-15-2005 07:34 »
« Last Edit on: 12-15-2005 07:34 »

yeah i know
Worble

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #17 on: 01-15-2006 12:09 »

Niall, Since u are on ur drawings, Put up some of ur Dog War thingys. People would pay to see them
badpinkmummy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #18 on: 01-16-2006 13:50 »

No they would steal them, ben. They are my best creation, plus this forum is about Futurama not my personal pictures
Worble

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #19 on: 03-09-2006 15:14 »

BUt tHE DOG PICZ are rubbish anyway so just stick um on and how are they personal. THEY ARE DOGS
Kagome

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #20 on: 04-27-2006 17:41 »

this is my first story so don't expect it to be to great. episode one : sleeping with the fishes

Zoidberg and his trusty companion, Nibbler stood over the the giant aquarium. Inside the body of Scruffy floated across the bottom
"At the time of the killing." Zoidberg said. " The victim appeared to have soiled himself."
"meaning?" replied Nibbler.
" The victim was confronted by something more horrific than a hungry, hungry hippo."
Nibbler dived into the tank and emerged holding the recipients underwear.
"Exhibit A." Zoidberg said examining the pants.
"The victim's mucky pants. They poo has seemed to arange itself into the shape of the galaxy alpha beta C."
"Of course it's so simple." Nibbler replied, slapping his head.

A green ooze floated to the top of the tank
"Exhibit B. An alien ectoplasm. I think it's safe to say, we're dealing with some sick alien."
From the cupboard more green ooze emerged, the duo opened it. The body of Dwight Conrad fell out.

This narrator feels that what Nibbler is about to say, out of all the words ever muttered. Best represented this situation.
"Bummer"
mookie427

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #21 on: 04-28-2006 01:42 »

look. No one cares about your story. Make your own thread and spam in that.

good drawings by the way.
Kagome

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #22 on: 04-28-2006 04:37 »

It's not even my story i can't even spell most of the time it's easier to copy&paste other ideas like weird-al does with music.  smile
mookie427

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #23 on: 04-29-2006 02:45 »

plagiarism, basically.
Demeter

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #24 on: 04-29-2006 02:58 »
« Last Edit on: 04-29-2006 02:58 »

No, they were getting back to the topic.

 
Quote
Topic:   spin off detective story

And then art started coming in. I wouldn't call it plagiarism, b/c i think they were trying to show th first post, not the art.

But hey, that's just my Stipulated Opinion.

The Actual Topic;

I think you do need to work at tad on your descriptions. Otherwise, seeing as it's your first work, I'll just nod and say keep working on it.
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