Hi all, I am Fryismyhero. I also answer to 'hey you' and 'that bozo over there in the corner'. Anyhoo, I have been working on this for a while, and it has admittedly been difficult as I was always a better short story writer than a long story writer *rolls eyes*
No name yet, however I do have the plot set out somewhere in the depths of my computer drive...
I am still finding my writing style in this fic, it's sorta comedic and dramatic. And shippy. I like shippy as much as the next person
Many thanks to Venus for giving me the guts to actually post this
Without further ado, here is the first bit of my as yet untitled fic...
* * *Disclaimer:
I don’t own Futurama or its characters. Futurama and its characters created and owned by Matt Groening. This fiction is for entertainment purposes only. Or not, as the case may be…
Futurama proudly brought to you by…EMMETT’S CUTIE MUFFIN DOLLS!
Now with more killing power!Opening credits: It’s not paranoia; we really ARE out to get you
* * *
“Oh Calculon, I love you so, but I have a terrible secret which could tear us apart, forever! You see I-“ The TV suddenly cut out, leaving that annoying image and buzzing sound. You know the one, the one where it looks as though the black ants are fighting with the white ants and they’re all buzzing really loudly…oh, never mind. Its two viewers, one metallic and one flabby, slumped into the couch and raised a collective grumble.
“Hey, what gives??” Bender complained.
It was another average day in the cutthroat world of intergalactic package delivery. Turanga Leela, captain of the Planet Express Ship, stood in front of him, holding the plug for the cable connection in her left hand, glaring balefully at the lazy robot and his equally lazy best friend.
“Yeah Leela, we were watching that!” whined the doughy, red-headed Fry. “Monique was just about to reveal to Calculon that she is secretly actually his evil half brother’s mother’s sister’s husband…or something…” he trailed off, having sufficiently confused himself.
Leela’s glare hardened. “Fry, it’s already 10:30 and we have to clean up the ship. All that soft drink you spilled in the mess during our last delivery is starting to erode the flooring!”
Fry groaned inwardly as he got up from the couch, avoiding Leela’s disapproving glare. He left the room muttering and exited into the hangar.
“Ha! See ya, meatbag!” Bender called out triumphantly towards Fry’s retreating form. He turned back to the TV. “More couch for Bender!” he said smugly to himself.
“You too, Bender.” Leela was positively glowering.
“Good news everyone!” The decrepit owner of the Planet Express delivery company, Professor Farnsworth, cried out just as Bender was grudgingly getting to his feet. “You’re to deliver a package to the largely uninhabited planet of Amazon 6. Some say it’s a dangerous world, full of bats and bugs and big poisonous plants. Anyhoo, off you go!” He was gone before Leela could open her mouth to protest.
“Hang on, if it’s uninhabited, then who the hell are we supposed to deliver the package to?” asked Bender, slightly bemused.
* * *
Inside the building’s giant hangar sat the green hulking form of the Planet Express ship, half bathed in the morning light filtering through the windows. Although Fry had been greeted with the sight every weekday morning since he awoke in the year 3000 and took the exalted position of company Delivery Boy, he never failed to be utterly awed by it. The ship was something right out of his boyhood dreams, come to life by the twist of fate that had landed him in a cryogenics tube for 1000 years.
As he approached the ship he noticed a small bucket underneath its body, overflowing with a suspicious Slurm-coloured liquid. Fry made a mental note not to drink so much of the evidently corrosive soft drink in the future and made his way into the ship interior.
Fry got down on his hands and knees in the ship’s mess hall, doing his best ‘Sadie the cleaning lady’ impersonation. Every few minutes he paused and took a sip from a can of Slurm he had positioned beside himself.
“Stupid Leela,” he muttered as he worked on a particularly large sticky, rusting stain. “Tell me what to do…sounds just that annoying housewife with the big hair and the bad dress sense and the whiny voice from that TV show I used to watch when I was a kid…what was it? Oh yeah that’s right, the Nanny!” After a while he stood up, tossed the scrubbing brush to one side and stretched his back.
“Ugh, this is so BORING. I need music.” He turned to a panel on the wall and turned a dial. Suddenly “I see you Baby” came blasting out from some unknown speaker. You know the one, shakin’ that ass…
Fry grabbed a hitherto unnoticed mop and started dancing around with it, singing along to the music at the top of his lungs, bopping along and shaking his thang. “I SEE YOU BABY, SHAKIN THAT ASS! WOOOO!!” He yelled.
It was about this point that Bender and Leela walked into the ship’s mess hall and stopped dead, staring at the delivery boy. Leela couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at the sight of Fry dancing and shaking his ass. Bender rolled his eyes and exited the room, muttering something about weird skintube rituals.
“Uh...Fry….Fry…FRY!” Leela strode to the wall panel and switched the music off. Fry, caught in mid-boogie, dropped the mop in a panic and frantically searched around for his scrubbing brush. “Uhhh…just finishing the scrubbing, captain, sir…I mean ma’am…I mean…uh…” he flung himself to the ground and scrubbed in a frenzy, occasionally looking up toward Leela with an uneasy smile, desperately looking for approval. Leela hid her smile and stated in a matter-of-fact tone that they were about to leave on a delivery.
“Amazon 6? Isn’t that the planet with all the big scary chicks who wanted to snu snu me to death?” Fry asked in bewilderment. “Uhh…I’m not sure I wanna go back there…or do I…” he smiled seductively to himself.
“Fry you moron, that was Amazonia. This is Amazon 6. It’s a heavily forested, uninhabited planet full of dangerous creatures. Now go see Zoidberg and so he can inoculate you against any diseases we may pick up while we’re there.” The Cyclops put a hand on her hip and pointed to the door.
* * *
More to come soon... comments are very much appreciated!