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Author Topic: a noob's first attempt at literature  (Read 10635 times)
Pages: 1 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 ... 18 Print
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #160 on: 11-14-2005 01:00 »

 
Quote
Amy had done a fantastic job of blowing holes in things. In fact, she was still doing a fantastic job in blowing holes in things.

I don't know why, but this line tickled me pink, and I'm usually pretty pink.

What an easy-readin', pulse-poundin', hard-fartin' update.  Actually it had noting to do with farting, but my dog just let one and my typing is faster than my thinking in most cases.  It was certainly packed with action (I estimate 93% action by volume), leaving it comedically dry but nonetheless entertaining.  I'm not sure I understand the blocking of Ivan's sneak attack from the hangar.  The way I interpret it makes it hard to believe that a running Fry would not be out of the path of a falling Bender unless the weapon projected Bender forward somehow.  Even if it did, there is still the matter of how Leela didn't see Ivan coming when she turned to help Fry and Bender.

Minor staging nitpicks aside, this was another wonderful read, esso.
Professy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #161 on: 11-14-2005 04:59 »

Yay, good luck submitting it to the Leela Zone. And if i dont read it yet it doesnt mean i dont like it, i just like things to be easily accessed. Good Luck.
Professor Zoidy

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #162 on: 11-15-2005 20:24 »

Yes, that way, everyone can have it in bulk and print it out if they want to...
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #163 on: 11-15-2005 22:11 »
« Last Edit on: 11-16-2005 00:00 »

The Leela Zone has been shut down!  I cant believe it!
 http://www.chillingeffects.org/fanfic/notice.cgi?NoticeID=210&print=yes

*edit* I jumped the gun.  It hasnt been shut down, although I cant access the site
Professor Zoidy

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #164 on: 11-15-2005 22:18 »

Actually, they just updated today, I just went there not too long ago today, around 7:30-ish (pm central time)
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #165 on: 11-15-2005 23:25 »

that notice is from 2002
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #166 on: 11-16-2005 13:40 »

Part 3
Chapter 8

Fry realized immediately that Leela was beyond his help, so he returned to the side of his fallen robot companion.  The delivery boy held his position as long as he could, but it would be just a matter of time before he was surrounded and overwhelmed.  It was just getting to the point where Fry would be forced to retreat when a large shadow fell across him.  The Planet Express ship hurtled down out of the air and landed not five feet away.  Zoidberg and the professor jumped off the loading elevator before it could reach the ground.  “Quick Fry, help roll the robut over here and lets get out of here!”, yelled the lobster.  Fry took a couple of last minute potshots and then helped the alien and the professor roll the incapacitated Bender onto the elevator.  “Go you idiots, go!”  The professor yelled into the bowels of the ship.  Fry felt the acceleration as the nimble craft launched skyward.

_____________________________ _____________________________ ____________

Talora’s disk filled the view screen a short time later  Fry watched the orb float slowly by from the couch on the bridge of the Planet Express ship.  Amy, Hermes, Professor Farnsworth, and Zoidberg were there with him.  The professor was busy punching away at buttons on one of the ships instruments. 

Amy sat down next to the delivery boy and took his hand.  “Don’t worry Fry.  I’m sure the professor will find out where they went,” assured the intern.  Farnsworth’s voice broke in from behind the couch to add: “You’re absolutely right Amy.  All ships leave a trail of charged particles in their wakes.  All I have to do is find the right trail.”  Fry’s heart left the pit it had been resting in.  There was hope!

“How long is it gonna take?”, Fry wanted to know.  The professor’s voice answered in a huff.  “How should I know?  What am I, some kind of genius?  It’ll take as long as it takes.” 

“Oh.”  Fry’s shoulders slumped, and he sank deeper into the couch.  A few moments of quiet passed until Fry’s slow mind realized that something about the delivery boy’s current situation didn’t quite make sense.  He turned to Amy and asked:  “Hey, how did you guys get here anyway?  I thought the Planet Express ship’s engines got all broken in that space battle”

“Well, it wasn’t easy.  Zoidberg and I managed to stop the timers on the torpedoes before they blew up, but we were stuck floating in space for awhile.  Finally the vidphone started working again and I could get through to the professor.  He told me how to fix the engines when I explained what happened.”  “The secret was duct tape!”, interrupted Zoidberg. “Shut up ya spineless crawdad and let te woman finish!”  That was Hermes of course.  “Anyway,” the intern continued after shooting the lobster an irritated look, “I didn’t have the right tools to fix up the ship all the way, but I got the engines patched up enough to get us back to Earth.  Some of the cardboard in the dark matter reactor was so bent up that I…  well you probably don’t care about that.  Anyway, the professor fixed up the ship all the way as soon as we got home.  We headed back out to rescue you as soon as we could.”

“But how did you know where to look?”

“Spluh.  We looked up his home planet on mapquest.  The professor picked up the frequency of Leela’s wrist thingy when you three were in the storage room, and then again after you left the bunker you were being held prisoner in.  That’s how we found you.  If you’d been in the storage room a minute longer we could have pinpointed your location a lot sooner.”

“So then was it you guys that called Leela while we were in the storage room?”

The professor broke in: “Yes.  I had Amy call Leela when we first got to the planet.  That purple-haired ninny hung up on her a before we could get a fix on your location.”

“She was kinda hiding from a bunch of guys with laser guns at the time”  Fry said

“Well that’s no excuse for rudeness,” huffed Farnsworth.

Fry ignored that last remark.  After all, the senile old scientist would probably forget the whole conversation in ten minutes anyway.

The delivery boy turned to address Amy again.  “But that still doesn’t explain why no one shot at you while you were flying over Ivan’s base.  Some alien guy told Leela that anything that Ivan didn’t like would get blown up before it could even get close.”

Amy and Hermes exchanged glances.  They hadn’t come across any defenses of any kind during their approach.  “Umm, maybe the alien that told you guys that didn’t know what he was talking about,” guessed Amy.  The Planet Express ship had actually been quite lucky.  There were scores of defenses hidden amongst the boulders surrounding the base, but they all were manned by humans.  Ivan, in his limitless arrogance, had decreed that all of his men would watch the execution of the Planet Express crew.  Nobody shot at the approaching vessel because there was no one monitoring the skies.  Amy had managed to destroy the power grid by the time Ivan’s men had manned the defenses, so the compound had been entirely helpless.

Before Fry could ask any more questions, the professor stood up.  “Huzzah!”, yelled the old man, raising his arms over his head. 

Fry jumped up off the couch to face Farnsworth.  “What?  Did you find something?!  Please say you found something!”
“Huh-wha?”

“Did you find out where Leela went?” 

“Who?”  The old man scratched his head confusedly.

Exasperated, Fry tried again.  “Leela!  Did you find out anything about what happened to Leela?!”

“Huh?  Oh right.  Yes, I found out what happened to that purple-haired friend of yours.”  Farnsworth gestured for Fry to walk over to him and look at the monitor that the scientist was standing over.  “See that line there?”  A wrinkly finger traced out an arc on the screen.  The red head nodded ascent.  “This represents the path that Ivan’s ship took when it left orbit,” explained the professor.

“Then we can go after her?”  An expression of hope erupted on the delivery boy’s face, but the professor didn’t have quite the answer that Fry was looking for.  “I suppose it is technically possible,  but we don’t have enough spaceships to do that.  Once I finish calibrating the lasers to fire through the ceiling of that hanger you were blabbering about earlier, we’re going right back down to the planet.”

Now it was Fry’s turn to be confused.  “Huh?  We have a spaceship right here.  We need more of them?”

“No, we only need one, but this one can’t go off looking for people that got themselves kidnapped. First we have to rescue my precious inventions.”

Fry had completely forgotten about the doomsday devices.  “But Leela…”, he started.

“Think about it mon.  Leela is only one person.  If da professor’s doodads fall into da wrong hands, millions of people could die.  Den again, come da tink of it, dat many deaths would mean mountins of paperwork.  Sweet Hen of Lisbon, think of the requisitions!  It would be a beareaucrat’s heaven!”  The Jamaican sighed.  “No its not worth it.” 
 

“But, we cant just desert her!”

“Don’t worry,” Farnsworth assured, “We’ll look for Leela when we get back the doomsday devices and they’re safely in storage.”

“But you cant do that!  What if Ivan hurts her?!”

“I can do whatever I want.  This is my spaceship.”  Farnsworth said this in a tone to suggest that this was the end of the debate, but Fry was far from finished. 

By this point, Fry’s face was contorted with rage.  To his knowledge, he had never in his life been so furious.  How could they even consider doing anything other than going after Leela?  Fry needed to find someone that would support him.  Farnsworth and Hermes had already made their opinions clear.  Zoidberg’s support was meaningless.  Bender still lay mute and immobile in the cargo bay.  That left Amy. 
“Amy, you agree with me right?”

The intern was still sitting on the couch near the bow of the ship.  She had been facing forward and gazing out the bow window while the argument was going on, trying to sort out her own emotions on the matter.  Many people could die if somebody got the idea into his head to use the professor’s weapons before the PE crew managed to save Leela.  Yet, to let Ivan get away with his captive could very well be a death sentence.  It was a hard choice.  Amy found herself envying Hermes, who solved any problem with simple economics.  If they saved Leela, millions of lives could be lost.  Millions of lives are more valuable than one, and that’s that.  “If only it were that simple…” 

“Amy, are you listening?”

“Uhh wha?  Oh, yes Fry I’m listening.”  No more time to ponder morals.  Fry needed an answer now.  The intern turned around to face the angered red head.  “I’m sorry Fry, but Hermes is right.”

Fry started to protest, but a quick re-scan of his friends’ faces revealed that the argument was a lost cause.  “You guys would actually do that to Leela?  Just write her off, like she’s worth less than a wad of used gum?!  This is unbelievable!”

“Fry, that’s not fair…” Amy tried to reason with the enraged redhead, but Fry wasn’t having any of it.  He stomped out of the room with a snort of disgust.

Some time later, Amy found the delivery boy pacing back and forth in his tiny bunkroom.  Fry crossed his arms and glared at the woman.  “What do you want?”, he demanded.  The intern sighed heavily.  “The professor’s finished modifying our laser to burn through the storage hanger’s roof.  We’re going to need to get everything on board as fast as we can once we land.  I was kinda hoping you would help.”

The expression on Fry’s face didn’t change for a long time, but then Fry’s frown evaporated in a sigh.  “Alright, I’ll help, but you promise me that we’ll go look for Leela as soon as we can ok?”  The intern’s face brightened, and she nodded enthusiastically.  “You bet,” she said
parasite?

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #167 on: 11-16-2005 14:35 »

 
Quote
Zoidberg’s support was meaningless.
  laff
Best line ever.

Very nice update. Reminds me of The why of fry. "what is one life weighed against the entire universe" I like it.

Oh, nice subtle references everywhere too. " no exuse for ocean madness" for example.

Keep em coming.
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #168 on: 11-16-2005 16:53 »

don't know what but.... something's not right in your last part. It was good but... Seeing Fry reaction to Amy's question at the end... I don't think that Fry would change its mind that fast. also you wrote that the proffesor jumped out of the ship! How did he do that without breaking is legs?

but I must say that your story is really good so far and I can't wait to read the rest.
Keep it up!

soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #169 on: 11-16-2005 17:00 »
« Last Edit on: 11-16-2005 17:00 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by NIC2001:
don't know what but.... something's not right in your last part. It was good but... Seeing Fry reaction to Amy's question at the end... I don't think that Fry would change its mind that fast. also you wrote that the proffesor jumped out of the ship! How did he do that without breaking is legs?

eh, the professor breaks stuff all the time.  he's used to it by now.  As far as your other remark goes, Fry's response will make sense when I post the next section

oh, and I submitted my fic to the Leela zone like you all asked. 
Professor Zoidy

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #170 on: 11-16-2005 18:27 »

I applaude. Very awesome. Keep it coming!  big grin
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #171 on: 11-16-2005 23:06 »

I love love Fry's anger at having to leave Leela. My inner shipper (as well as my outer one) is rolling in a pile of kittens.
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #172 on: 11-16-2005 23:11 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
I love love Fry's anger at having to leave Leela. My inner shipper (as well as my outer one) is rolling in a pile of kittens.

tis a grim day for kitten kind.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #173 on: 11-16-2005 23:43 »

eh, but we can always breed more kittens!


I hope another update is soon to come!
Arkan

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #174 on: 11-17-2005 11:41 »

Good update sO.

 
Quote
Zoidberg’s support was meaningless.

I agree with parasite? on this one.  smile
fryismyhero

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #175 on: 11-17-2005 20:46 »

Love the zoidberg line.  Another great update!  Can't wait to read more  big grin
Crash_7

Professor
*
« Reply #176 on: 11-17-2005 21:09 »

soylentOrange: I don't know why I waited so long to read this story.  This is great stuff.  So many quality fanfics going on these days!  Life is good.   big grin
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #177 on: 11-17-2005 21:55 »

venus: another update tommorow probably  smile

arkan: hey, Arkan's back!  glad you like my stuff!

fryIsMyHero: there'll be more coming soon, as long as I dont get lazy/distracted.  wink

crash_7: thanks man.  How long did it take you to read it?  Its like 57 pages now. 
DeltaP42

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #178 on: 11-18-2005 00:19 »

Wow man, thats some really good writing, keep it up!
Crash_7

Professor
*
« Reply #179 on: 11-18-2005 09:14 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by soylentOrange:
crash_7: thanks man.  How long did it take you to read it?  Its like 57 pages now. 

I devoted an evening to it.  smile A couple of hours, I guess.

Leo

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #180 on: 11-18-2005 14:41 »

Hey buddy, sorry I haven't posted in a while - been bogged down with uni work. But now I'm free, free! Or at least for a couple weeks. Anyway, feel free to send me any new stuff for beta-ing and I'll do my (crummy) best.
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #181 on: 11-18-2005 15:06 »

yo Leo.  I havent had much chance to write anything new since the last chunk I sent you.  Im gonna try and get some work done on it this weekend, but we'll see  wink
Leo

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #182 on: 11-18-2005 17:04 »

Don't rush it man. Take you're time and it'll be as good as the rest, or better.
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #183 on: 11-18-2005 20:19 »

this is the last chapter in part 3.  After this the story gets alot shippier.  So for all you shippers out there, stay tuned!

Part 3
Chapter 9:

Once again the Planet Express ship found itself over Ivan’s compound, but this time the crew was not looking for a fight.  Not a shot was fired as the green rocket ship descended.  The power was still out then.  Without any sensors up and running, no one from the base could see the intruder.

  Amy, being the best pilot of the group, was at the controls.  It only took a moment to find what she was looking for.  Two adjacent metal slabs marked the hangar roof.  The ship’s laser went to work.  Nothing seemed to be happening.  Amy was just about to ask the professor if something was wrong, when the metal began to glow.  It went from red to yellow, and then white.  Globules of liquid metal boiled into vapor, and the doors began to sag.  In a few moments the crack between the two doors was wide enough to fly through.    Amy gently nudged the ship into the hangar bay below.

There was no one in the hangar to meet them.  Amy landed the ship in the center of the room.  The cargo elevator came down, and the entire PE crew bolted out of the bowels of the ship.  Well, almost all of the crew anyway.  Bender still sat immobile in the ship’s cargo bay.  Every once in awhile his voice would come back, and a string of curses aimed at his coworkers would fill the room. The professor had not had time to fix him yet, and Bender was furious for this schism between the robot’s priorities and that of his fellows.

Zoidberg and Hermes ran to barricade the door before anyone barged in on them.  All that could be done was to push a few heavy boxes in front of the door.  It would only be a temporary barrier, but it would hold for a few minutes in an emergency.  So far the PE crew had made very little noise.  It would be quite possible to get away without anyone ever being aware of them.

Amy, Fry, and the professor started to load the ship with the doomsday devices, and Zoidberg and the Jamaican accountant came over to help once their job was finished.  Fry was trying desperately to concentrate on what he was doing, but anger still seethed in him.  He hated himself for not being able to help his captain.  No matter what logic you used, the whole situation smacked of just leaving Leela to die.

The hover dolly that Fry was pushing stopped with a jolt.  The delivery boy’s mind had been elsewhere, and he hadn’t been paying attention to where he was going.  Now the dolly was stuck in a narrow space between two boxes.  Grumbling to himself, Fry yanked at the obstinate dolly, and it jarred loose.  Fry looked around for an easy path back to the Planet Express ship’s elevator, but his eyes found something else.  He laughed, and started to run.  “Why didn’t I think of this earlier?” 

Amy heard Fry laugh and turned to look for him.  He was standing a dozen paces away with a wide grin on his face.  As she watched, the delivery boy took off running, jumping over the hover cart he had been hauling.  With a chill, the intern realized that Fry was headed for the dart shaped fighter sitting in the corner.  Amy saw Fry’s plan in a flash, and sprang after him before he could implement it.  Unfortunately for the intern, Fry had too much of a head start.  He was already in the cockpit before she reached him.
“Fry, wait!  Don’t do this!”

“I have to Amy.  I cant just leave Leela like this.  I…  I love her.”

Amy’s protests died in her throat as her mouth shut with a click.  “Oh.” was all she could manage to say.  The intern took a long look at her red headed friend.  Fry’s face was the essence of determination.  He was going, and there was no way that she was going to dissuade him. 

The other crew members began to file up one by one, attracted by the shouting.  A low hum announced that the little ship’s engine was waking up.  “Great muskrat of Adirondack!  Fry mon, wot do think your doin?”, demanded Hermes. 

“I’m going after Leela.  The professor said we need another ship; Well I found one, and nobody’s going to stop me.”  Fry said this as a statement of fact, beyond compromise.

“Listen you red headed dope,” warned Farnsworth.  “If you go off by yourself, nobody will be able to help you when you screw up.”

“Why do you always assume I’m going to screw up?”  No one bothered to supply the obvious answer, but the professor moved in to interfere with the angry redhead’s takeoff.

To everyone’s surprise, Amy stepped in front of Farnsworth to block his way.  “Let him go,” she said simply. 

Hermes was incredulous.  “Are you mad woman?  He’ll get himself killed!”

Amy started to explain, but stopped.  She could not divulge what Fry had said to her, about being in love.  The others would just laugh, and dismiss it as meaningless.  The intern, however, could now see a depth to the delivery boy that had not been there before.  “Or has it always been there, only I never bothered to look?”, she wondered.  Either way, she knew with conviction that the feelings playing across her friend’s face were in no manner meaningless.

With the professor’s path blocked, and the others standing around staring quizzically at Amy, Fry took his chance.  The cockpit canopy closed with a snick, ending any possibility of verbal debate.  Fry reached out and eased the throttle forward.  A roar replaced the engine’s low hum, causing Fry’s coworkers to hit the deck.  The little needle ship rose off the ground and pivoted 180 degrees, then floated forward into a shaft of sunlight.  It reared back to face the sky, and Fry pushed the throttle forward all the way.  A four dimensional sphere of warped space-time sprang into existence behind the ship, and the silver dart leapt into the sky.

Amy stood up, and brushed herself off.  She turned to look at the hole in the ceiling that her friend had vanished into.  A single tear ran down her cheek, and she brushed it away.  “Good luck,” she whispered.
Crash_7

Professor
*
« Reply #184 on: 11-18-2005 20:41 »

Very good update.  Looking forward to more.  I like Fry/Leela shippy stuff.   smile
Professor Zoidy

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #185 on: 11-18-2005 20:54 »

*applaudes* Awesome to the max once again man. YOU have captured my heart with your words..
fryismyhero

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #186 on: 11-18-2005 21:09 »

Hooray for shippiness!  WOOOO!

Another great update, SO  big grin
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #187 on: 11-19-2005 02:51 »

A tear?  A TEAR!  What the hell?

False fury aside, I think that the teariness is a little over-the-top (unless, of course, Amy fell onto something pointy, a pile of mild pepper spray, or a DVD player showing the last several minutes of Armageddon).  It's probably just me, but the whole "single tear" thing is a little cliche.  I can dig her sympathizing with Fry but getting all misty?  It's just not working for me.

In my opinion the dialog didn't really set up Amy's internal monolog in the way that the scene needed.  Prose offers a wonderful opportunity to look into a character's head.  What you've written is not bad by any means, it just seems a little slim for explaining the thought processes underlying a decision that costs time and effort that should probably be spent saving the Universe.  The ambiguity leads me to believe Amy's reasoning is a little flawed.  You'll recall in TWoF that Fry was ridiculously dedicated to a mission that, in the grand scheme of things, probably didn't amount to a hill of beans.  That being said, you handle the whole Amy/Fry dynamic pretty well.  You avoided one of the classic pitfall of shipinators by not having Amy be overly supportive of the right from the get-go, and it's nice to see adults think about one another with understanding and insight rather than responding to each other's actions.  Both are pretty childish, so when they do something mature, it's pretty profound.

Hermes "SoS" doesn't seem to have the flow it normally does, but those things are devilishly hard to write.

Don't think that because I'm waxing pretentious on these criticisms that I didn't like the story.  In fact, I like it very much.  I just happen to be pretentious and have a lot of time.  One of my favorite bits was Bender's response to being petrified.  Despite the fact that he's totally helpless, he can't stop being obnoxious and self-centered.  Absolutely Bender.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #188 on: 11-19-2005 03:10 »

Awwwwww Yay Shippy!

My one little nitpick is that Fry's declaration really shouldn't have surprised Amy as much as it seemed to. Fry has never kept his feelings about Leela secret. Everyone on the crew knows what the score is.

That aside, Yay Shippy!
Arkan

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #189 on: 11-19-2005 07:30 »

Shippier? I'm liking the sound of that!  big grin

I agree with DrThunder about Amy's tear and Venus about Amy's surprise about Fry's declaration, but apart from that, another great update. Keep it going!
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #190 on: 11-19-2005 11:00 »

wow, I wasnt expecting that responce, but I see what you guys mean.  I'll drop the tear thing when I go to rewrite.

BTW: I've come up with an opener for my story, tell me what you think!

-------------------------------------------------
Futurama is brought to you by Ezekiel’s human flavored breakfast cereal, the only cereal made with the taste of authentic free range human.  Ezekiel’s human flavored cereal: it’s tragically malicious!
------------------------------------------------

now all I need to do is come up with a title...
DeltaP42

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #191 on: 11-19-2005 12:51 »

Ha, I like the Lucky-Charms-Esque tagline, nicely done
Corvus

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #192 on: 11-19-2005 13:33 »

Ohhh.. nice. Great update!

"Bender was furious for this schism between the robot’s priorities and that of his fellows."

That REALLY made me laugh. laff

Patiently waiting for more..

NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #193 on: 11-19-2005 13:58 »

Ok you got me now! That part was short but really good! Now I see why Fry was reacting that way in the last chapter!

Keep it up!

And like Venus said: Yay Shippy!
Ol´coot

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #194 on: 11-20-2005 10:50 »

I have to disagree with Dr. T about the tear bit. A single tear might be a bit of a cliche but given all that had happened to Amy and her friends a bit of emotion on her part isn't unerasonable.

I do agree with Venus about Amy being surprised at Fry's saying he loves Leela. He seems to spend most of the time wearing his feelings on his sleeve imo..

Great update overall SO! (I wonder if Fry is going to be more of a danger to himself than to the bad guys with him flying that ship?  big grin )

Set ye Zapp in the forefront of the hottest battle, and retire ye from him, that he may be smitten and die.

II Yosemite 11:15
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #195 on: 11-20-2005 21:32 »

I made the mistake of drinking a cup of coffee at 10pm friday night so I could stay awake to do some writing.  12 hours, and 10 pages, later I was still wide awake...  Be prepared for alot of updates, once my good friend Leo gets done making them presentable  wink
Crash_7

Professor
*
« Reply #196 on: 11-21-2005 18:33 »

Shippy updates on the way....dooo-daaaaa....dooo-daaaa!  I await eagerly.
Benders_Fan

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #197 on: 11-21-2005 18:45 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Professor Zoidy:
 This should be a freaking book.

Word  smile
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #198 on: 11-22-2005 09:53 »
« Last Edit on: 11-22-2005 09:53 »

@Zoidy: It almost is a book.  I think I figured that it would make a 125 page book if you include the new part Ive written   smile

Anywho, here's the first piece of Part 4.

Part 4: Hope
Chapter 1

Fry’s little ship was fast.  Stars shot by the view screen at a fearsome rate.  The delivery boy watched them morosely from the tiny window above his bunk.  Stars had an almost hypnotic affect when they moved across the sky, much the same way a campfire does.  The little points of light would pop into view as a glaring blue.  As they moved astern, they would gradually change color, until they faded into infrared and Fry’s eyes could no longer see them.  It was relaxing really, getting caught up in the endless pattern.  Flash, violet, indigo, blue, green, yellow, white, orange, red, gone.  Over and over again…  Fry sat up with a start, banging his head into the ceiling for his trouble.  The delivery boy cursed whoever had designed this spacecraft, which Fry had nicknamed the Minnow, for the 17th time that day.  The bed that Fry currently was laying on, along with a toilet and a shower that seemed no larger than a standard kitchen sink, were crammed into a crevasse at the rear of the ship’s cockpit as if in an afterthought.

The delivery boy squirmed his way back into the pilot’s seat.  It was time to make sure he was on course again.  A few pokes and twists of various knobs and dials brought up the now familiar charged particle detection screen.  Fry had spent the last 24 hours doing little besides stare at this screen.  It had been easy to find the beginning of the trail that Ivan’s ship had left behind, since Farnsworth had shown him where to look.  The hard part had proven to be staying on the trail once he had found it.  Ivan had flown a very complicated path, ostensibly to shake off pursuit, and Fry had to check the detector every few minutes to keep from wandering off the trail completely. 

Currently, the screen showed that the ship had moved to the edge of the particle trail.  Fry pushed the stick downward and to the left.  The stars twirled slightly overhead, and the ship settled into its new course.  The redhead watched the screen for a few moments to make sure he hadn’t over-corrected.  Satisfied, he leaned back in his chair and tried to stretch.  There wasn’t nearly enough room to do so adequately

Fry had experienced a maelstrom of different emotions since leaving Talora. At first he had simply been angry.  Well, actually that would be incorrect.  First he was terrified, and then he was angry.  The delivery boy had flown spaceships before, but nothing like the high-powered, weapon encrusted, and incredibly agile Minnow.   It was a long time before Fry was confident he could fly the ship without accidentally killing himself.

When the terror finally did wear of it was replaced with anger;  anger at himself, Leela, Ivan, Zoidberg, and basically the entire universe in general.  When that emotion had boiled away it had been replaced with fear.  “What if I find her, and its already too late?” he thought to himself over and over again.  Fry felt so helpless.  Even though he was racing to Leela’s rescue, he had no way of helping her right at that moment, and the knowledge ate away at him with a thousand tiny teeth.  That train of thought led straight into a well of depression, and he wallowed there until thoughts of his beloved cyclops helped him climb back out again.  Fry smiled when he realized that Leela, albeit without her knowledge, was once again helping him overcome an obstacle that threatened to overwhelm him.  The delivery boy silently resolved that he was going to save his captain, even if it was the last thing he ever did.

“But how?”  he wondered aloud.  That was the best thing about being so utterly alone, he suddenly realized, no one could give you strange looks for having a conversation with yourself.

“I cant fight Ivan with the Minnow.  It’s small and weak, and…” he gave the ship’s hull a tap, “… feels like its made out of aluminum foil.”

“But if I can’t fight him, then how will I ever get Leela back?”   

Not for the first time, Fry found himself envying the intelligence and wit of his cyclops captain.  “Leela would know what to do.  Leela always knows what to do.”  Suddenly enraged, the delivery boy slammed his fist into a bulkhead.  “This isn’t fair!  I should be the one that Ivan captured, not her!  How am I supposed to rescue Leela when I cant even think?  All I’m good at is being a hostage.”

It wasn’t true of course.  Although Fry was indeed very good at being a hostage, or anything else that required nothing more than taking up space, there was also one other thing in which he excelled: being there when his friends needed him.  Leela very rarely needed help of any kind, but Fry could always be counted on to come to the rescue at just the right moment.  The delivery boy had saved Leela from a deadly space bee at one point.  He had jumped in front of his captain at the last second and taken the stinger for her.  The monstrous needle went right through him and unloaded its poison into Leela.  The cyclops spent 14 days in a coma, but ultimately survived because her body did not have to deal with a horrendous physical wound in addition to the poison.  Fry never left her side for a moment, even though the doctors said that Leela would never wake up.
A couple of years before that, Fry had saved Leela from an unhappy marriage to the shape-shifting conman Alkazar.  The alien had preyed upon Leela’s desire to discover her origins.  He concocted an elaborate ruse to convince Leela that he and the PE captain were the last surviving members of a grand alien race.  She had agreed to marry him in order to keep this fictional species going.  If Fry had not risked his neck to uncover the truth, Leela would have been destined for an eternity of unhappiness.
 
Memories of these two events flitted through the delivery boy’s mind.  On both occasions he had done exactly the right thing at exactly the right time.  He had not needed to think things through, and there had been no time even if he had had the desire to.  “Come to think of it,” realized the red head, “if I had stopped to think about what I was doing, I might not have done it.  If I had taken a moment to plan what I was going to do, Leela would have been stung before I could get in front of her, and she’d be dead.  If I had stopped to wonder if it was right to spy on Alcazar, I might have decided it wasn’t any of my business, and Leela would be married to that jerk.”

“That’s it!”  The realization came like a smack in the face.  “The only time I ever do anything right is when my heart tells me what to do, not my head.”

“So then the only chance I’m going to have of saving Leela is by following what my heart tells me.”

Fry cleared his mind and tried to ask himself what his heart was telling him to do.  Two answers popped into his consciousness.  Step one: get to Leela’s side at all costs.  Step two: kill the bastard who had dared to hurt her.

Leela awoke with a start from a horrible nightmare.  The cyclops half dragged herself into a sitting position and opened her eye.  Everything was black.  Leela put a hand up to her face and touched her eye to confirm that yes, it was open.  Wherever she was, the lights were out.  Leela forced the inherent phobia of the person with one eye out of her head.  She was not going to consider the other option, the one where she was blind. 

The PE captain reached for her wristband with her left hand.  It was gone.  “Well, I’m not getting any light that way,” she muttered.  Now wide awake, Leela slowly climbed to her feet.  Her head didn’t hit a ceiling.  Extending her hands out in front of her, the Cyclops began walking.  She came across a wall in a half dozen steps.  What followed was a bump-and-go exploration of what turned out to be a small square room.  Leela realized how ridiculous she must look with her arms out, walking around pseudo-randomly like some sort of confused zombie.  Good thing Fry wasn’t around to see.

It didn’t take long to explore every squarer inch of the compartment.  Confident that she had made a thorough search of the area, Leela found a corner between two walls and sat down.  The little room was empty save for a low bench and what felt like a toilet.  A couple of creases in the wall might have been the outline of a door.  The PE captain was in a prison cell of some kind, probably in the brig of one of Ivan’s ships..

The last thing the cyclops remembered was running by the hanger back on Talora.  She had heard a crackling noise and a thud, and had turned around just in time to see three things.  One: Bender facedown in the dirt, immobile or dead.  Two: Fry facedown in the dirt, struggling to get his legs out from under the heavy robot.  Three: A scarred figure smiling wickedly as it aimed a punch in her direction.  She had not had enough time to react.

Leela sat in the corner staring into space for a long time while she mulled over the events of the past week in her head.  So many screwups..  “If only I’d listened to Fry from the very beginning, this would have never happened.  Now I’ll probably never see him or anyone else I care about ever again.”  The cyclops remembered the argument in the desert she had had with the delivery boy.  She wanted to apologize to him for being such a jerk, but now she wasn’t going to get that chance.  “He must hate me now”  a cold jolt of electricity shot up her spine as she completed the thought: “if he’s still alive.”

A cool wetness on her cheeks alerted the woman to the fact that she was crying.  She sat there for a moment, quietly sobbing to herself.  At last, gaining partial control over her emotions again, she looked up and wiped away a tear.  She began to speak aloud, as if someone was there to hear her.  “I’m so sorry Fry.”, she said.  “I should have done so many things differently.  You’ve always been there for me, and I just took you for granted.  I never even got to tell you how much I care about you, and now I might never get the chance.”  Leela had never felt so helpless.  She had always been the one with the means and ability to save the day, but now she was in desperate need of someone to save her.  It seemed certain that her two best friends were either dead or captured, and no one was likely to find her even if they came looking.  “At least Amy made it out ok,” muttered Leela. “I guess I didn’t manage to get all of my friends killed.”  Somehow the familiar feel of a sarcastic comment made life a little more bearable. 

Leela harbored no delusions.  The Planet Express crew’s first priority would be the doomsday devices; the professor would make sure of it.  Even if someone did come looking for her, it would be after Ivan had hidden her away somewhere out of reach.  “I might as well accept that Ivan won.  But why did he kidnap me?  What could he possibly want?”
Corvus

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #199 on: 11-22-2005 11:14 »

Great stuff.. keep it coming!! 

Eagerly awaiting the next part..
Wait? Who am I kidding.. I CAN'T WAIT!!  big grin

"Finding your true love is like winning the lottery, it always happens to someone else."
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