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Author Topic: Worblerama Short stories Ep  (Read 454 times)
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Delivery Boy
« on: 09-09-2005 15:59 »
« Last Edit on: 09-10-2005 00:00 »

I don't know whether this will take off or plunder but I will have ago at writing a couple realistic and surreal ideas and paragraphs starring, you guest it...Futurama cast. NO PICTURES unless you add your own to acompany my story, which you may do if you want to.
P.S-Some of them will be written in the style for little kids in order to add a comic aspect or maybe some are just crap. You tell me.

Para 1: Sal gets Busted

Sal rented a hotel for a night. It cost $32 SO you know its a dump. As he always does, he bought his dollar sign necklace and tracksuit combo, the reason you ask, because he likes Esses if thats how you spell S's. Anyways he was feeling tired after a long day at the building plant, driving the nutley express, running the scabbin industry etc etc, so he got into bed and went to sleep. Sal snores, ya know and when he snores, insted of Z's commin out of his head in a small bubble with half cresents bobing out at points (2,4) (3,5) AND  (5,8... came little S's. What an angel. FIN

HAHAHAHAHAHAH, HILAIRIOUS EH. What can i say, to me its stupid but I guess some people with be more sympathetic...right?

COMIC aspect: 7/10
funny: 4/10
but who am i to judge.



« Reply #1 on: 09-09-2005 19:55 »

Okay for a pilot, but I don't really get it.

Write some more, it'd be good to have some more Fan Fiction around here, not just Fan Art  smile

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #2 on: 09-09-2005 23:36 »

I have to have answers to two questions before I can review this:
  • Is English your primary language?
  • Are you under 15 years of age?

Delivery Boy
« Reply #3 on: 09-10-2005 08:56 »

I know its rubbish and i want it closed but i was bored so i wrote this rubbish and to ur questions.

1: yes.
2: No
I know my grammar and spelling was bad because thats how i write on the net for speed and such. Anyways It doesn't matter, i was bored.

« Reply #4 on: 09-10-2005 09:13 »

So I take it you aren't doing anymore then? If not, why? No-one said it was rubbish anyway. keep making them  smile

Delivery Boy
« Reply #5 on: 09-10-2005 10:30 »

I will make a few but i only did it at first so i could solve my boredom (space bar now) so maybe i will make (more grip on mouse) more soon ok.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #6 on: 09-10-2005 13:34 »

Several questions arise:
  • What's the difference between "COMIC aspect" and "funny" and why are you rating yourself?
  • Are you planning on updating this one paragraph at a time?  That's going to make it very hard to follow and any overall effect will be at the mercy of its piecemeal construction.
  • The verb "plunder" means "to take the goods of by force or wrongfully."  This isn't a question, really.  Just keep it in mind.  In fact, you should check your spelling/grammar whenever possible.
  • What is a pilot ep?  That's just one paragraph, and it's not even a synopsis.
  • I have absolutely no idea what's going on in the snoring section or what you're trying to describe.

Delivery Boy
« Reply #7 on: 09-11-2005 10:38 »

q1: That wasn't my rating, my friend was over at the time and he thought he should rate me because i said to him that i thought it was rubbish.
q2: No, as i said i wrote it out of boredom and so when i was bored i stopped to write. Each paragraph will be a new story.
q3: I no, but I was just writing what came to mind and as i say to everyone who gets annoyed at grammer, On the internet I tend to write fast and not think about grammer. Also at times i have been congratuated on my writing but I have to say, comedy isn't my strong point. In the future I will slow down and try to use better grammer.
q4: Its just fun, i don't see why you get so annoyed over a bit of fun...for me.
Q5. FUN, it doesn't have to make sense unless your some sort of nerd.

Space Pope
« Reply #8 on: 09-11-2005 14:12 »

Yeah, definately don't understand. How is that a story? That was just like a part of one. And seriously what is the difference between COMIC aspect and funny. Cause I found neither. If you're trying to recreate that "21 stories" episode of the Simpsons, you need a lot more work. And I hope you work on grammer. This isn't a chat room, as you should know, so therefore we can slow down and right at an easy pace.

Urban Legend
« Reply #9 on: 09-30-2005 17:11 »

Ummmmm.Worble,thats not even a story.
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