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Author Topic: Everybody Was Doin' It, I Just Wanted To Be Cool!  (Read 781 times)
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Liquid Emperor
« on: 06-15-2005 16:11 »
« Last Edit on: 08-26-2008 19:10 »

Hello All,
I've been trying to write Futurama fanfic's for two-and-a-half years or so, now. So far, I've failed to complete one.
I have despaired that I will ever finish one in particular, although there is a silver lining to this individual cloud. It occurred to me that, with a little re-tooling, part of the aforementioned 'fic could be a stand-alone story. So, here it is.

1) I'm a shipper - and flamin' well proud of it!
2) I make no claims that said story is any good.

I would appreciate knowing if you thing the following story is good, bad, or otherwise. Especially the 'bad', as that's about the only way my laughable attempts at storytelling might improve.
More importantly, I desire to know why you think one part or another is good, bad or otherwise.

Oh, and @ Venus: I'll be E-mailing you...  wink

And now, without further ado I submit for your reading pleasure -
Aw, never mind! I hope you enjoy it.

I'll shut up now...

An Untitled Futurama FanFic
By SpaceCase

Interior, day. Leela’s bedroom.

Light leaks under the door into Leela’s darkened bedroom. She’s dead-asleep. The room is silent, save for the light buzzing sound of breathing. She wakes with a snort, and pulls her face out of her pillow.

Leela:   (putting her hand to her forehead) “Oh...”

She doesn’t notice the light buzzing noise, nor that her hair is in its trademark ponytail.
She rolls over. We see one of her evening gowns draped over the foot of the bed, next to her purse. The purse tumbles off the foot of the bed with a jingle of keys, and clatter of its contents. She peels the blankets back from her body, and quizzically looks at her attire:   A lavender, sleeveless, thigh-length nightgown. We see her strapless bra through the shoulder openings.

Leela:   (sotto) “What happened last night?”

She looks down inside her nightgown.

Leela:   (mutters) “Why am I still wearing this? (rolls her tongue around the inside of her mouth) “... Why does my mouth taste like something Dr. Zoidberg would eat?”

She reaches for her armband.

Leela:   “What time is it?”

She pushes a button on the device. It reads “11:09 AM.”

Leela:   (lethargically) “Half the day gone.” (puts the device back)

She puts her legs over the side of the bed, and starts to get up. She doesn’t make it. Fry is asleep on the floor right next to her bed on the cushions from her chair. She steps squarely on his midsection, the buzzing stops abruptly.

Fry:   “D’OOF! ” (gasps)

She looses her balance, and tumbles back onto her bed. Fry sits bolt-upright, but doesn’t make it:   He hits his head on the underside of Leela’s nightstand.


Fry:   “OW!

In the intervening moments Leela has turned on a flashlight in her armband, pointed it at Fry’s face, and with murder in her eye, blearily taken a martial arts position from the waist up.

Leela:   (irritably) “What the hell are you doing here?”

Fry is dressed in a suit, his tie loosened, collar unbuttoned.

Fry:   (wincing, he holds up his hand up, hiding his eyes from the light) “I’ll tell you if you’ll get that searchlight outta' my face.” (he stands up rubbing his forehead)

Leela:   (turns off the light) “The only reason I’m not kicking your ass is... I need somebody to tell me what happened last night.” (she sways back and forth on her bed) “... That, and the room won’t hold still.” (braces herself with her arm) “Oh my head...”

Fry stops rubbing his forehead, and, stretches from the discomfort of the makeshift bed. His face is obscured in shadow. As he stretches, we notice that his shirt hangs open; the top three buttons are missing.

Fry:   (his words come reluctantly) “You, uh... had a little too much to drink last night?” (his tone implies there’s more)

Leela:   (Sotto) “That isn’t like me at all.” (depressed) “Uhh... That explains why my hair’s still up, and I’m wearing this...” (looks down at her chest)

Fry gives her an apologetic shrug. Leela's headache reasserts itself.

Leela:   “Ohh...” (sotto) “I didn't go out with Fry.” (realization) “Oh... How ‘too-much’ to drink?”

Fry:   “Uh... that I actually saw?” (Leela just looks at him intensely) “... Supernova Stinger?”

Leela:   “Gawd... Please tell me I didn’t make an ass of myself...”

Fry:   (his tone and inflection again say there’s a lot more to it) “No-o.”

Leela:   (has a moment of clarity, then icily) “... And, just how do you happen to know this?”

Fry:   “Well, uh, how much do you remember?”

Leela:   “Just tell me.” (putting her palm to her forehead) “Oh, my head”

Fry reaches into his pocket, produces a small foil pouch that glows with a dull green light, & bends down to help her sit.

Fry:   “I wound up in the same restaurant as you and... what's-his-name. Here, you’ll feel a lot better after you take these,” (stuffs the foil into her palm)

Leela:   (she looks at the foil pouch) “What is it?”

Fry:   (matter-of-factly) “Morning-after pills.”

Leela:   (getting the ‘adult’ connotation) “WHAT?" (she flinches from the pounding in her head) “*Gasp*”

Fry:   (missing the double-meaning) “’Hangover pills from the vending machine in the bar?”

Leela:   (lethargically) “Oh...” (noticing the green glow) “I feel just lousy enough to take it...”

Fry:   (shrug) “It’s supposed to be pretty good; it’s full of ‘ingredients’.”

Leela looks strangely at him for a beat.

Leela:   “I need a shower.” (Fry doesn’t move) “Beat it, Fry.”

Fry:   (startled) “Oh. Right... Sorry.” (starts for the door)

Leela:   (order) “Put the cushions back on my chair.” (conciliatory) “...And, make us some coffee?”

Fry:   (stops for the cushions) “Sure.”

Leela:   (heading into the bathroom) “Lights.” (winces) “Ow, lights low.”

With the lights up, we momentarily see into her closet:   Her green jacket, several pairs of identical dark boots, and multiple hangars holding identical white tank-tops, and dark spandex pants.
As the bathroom door closes he realizes he’s not going to see any more of her body.

Fry:   (disappointed grunt) “Mmph!” (turns to the door to go into the living room) “Lights?” (flinches) “Ow... low?” (the light dims) “Ahh.”

Interior, day. Leela’s living room a short time later.

Fry slouches diagonally in the only other stick of furniture in Leela’s apartment:   Her chair. He needs a shave, his clothing is rumpled, and his hair is askew. His legs are stretched out with his stocking-feet resting up on the wall next to the flat-panel TV. Next to him on the floor are a full carafe of coffee and a mug. The TV babbles unintelligibly.
Fry has a thousand-yard stare on his face. He sips a mug of coffee, but doesn’t like it; there is no sugar in Leela’s apartment. As our point of view trucks around him, we finally see his face:   His lips are stained with lipstick from kissing someone, and he has a black eye! A cruel mass of black-and-blue bruising, swelling his eye closed to a narrow slit.
A wan smile creeps onto his face. He sets his mug on the carpet to his left, and leans back. His head tilts backward off the right edge of the chair, his mouth agape, face to the ceiling.
A few minutes later, Leela’s bedroom door opens. She’s dressed in her usual white tank top and dark spandex pants. Obviously feeling much better, but not 100 percent. Her only concessions to the situation are her fluffy blue slippers and a damp ponytail. She has put on her makeup, but her armband is absent.
She notices the harsh angle of Fry's neck.

Leela:   (sotto) “How does he do that?”

Fry:   (rousing to the sound of the closing door) “Mph... coffee, Leela? ‘Made it the way you like; strong and black.”

Leela:   (coldly) “Uh-huh... and” (colder still) “get your feet off my wall.”

Fry:   (Whoops!) “Sorry,” (He leans over to get the coffee pot and other mug)

Leela:   (instantly regretting her tone) “I’m... not firing on all neurons yet.”

Fry:   (he relaxes and gives Leela the mug) “Eh, forget it.” (she holds the cup as he pours) (concerned) “How’re you feeling?”

Leela:   (accepting the coffee) “Almost human, er... you know what I mean.”

They both wait a beat, then simultaneously:

Leela:   “Fry, I - “

Fry:   “Leela, I - “

An awkward moment.

Fry:   “Ladies’ first.”

Leela:   (leans back against the wall) “This isn’t easy for me...”

Fry starts to say something, but she continues.

Leela:   “No, I’ve got to know... What happened last night? ... What happened to your shirt?” (finally noticing his shiner) “... How’d you get that black eye?”

She takes a sip of coffee, and is surprised that it’s actually good. When she looks back up from her mug, she sees her lipstick on his lips.

Leela:   (non-threateningly) “...And why is my lipstick on your mouth?”

Fry:   (reluctantly) “Well, uh, how much do you remember?”

Leela:   “I was out with Julius at... some Nuveau-Paragonian restaurant, and having a great time. I remember dinner, and Julius was attentive, and witty, and interested-”

Fry:   (sotto) “Oh, he was interested alright.”

Leela:   “- and he made me feel good-”

Fry:   (looks aside with an 'oh-brother' expression, sotto) “Oh, yeah.”

Leela:   “Though, my cocktail seems to have hit me like a meteor. After that, I remember... pictures, like... flashbacks in one of those pretentious alien movies.”

(She thinks for a moment, taking a sip from her coffee.)

Leela:   “I remember leaving the restaurant, and a cab-ride - Hey,” (sets down her coffee cup, suspicion edging her voice) “Julius took me to the restaurant in a limousine, why’d I leave in a cab?”

Fry:   (putting down his coffee cup) “Be-c-a-u-s-e... I didn’t have a limo?”

Leela:   (puzzled) “I left with you?”

Fry:   “Uh huh.”

Leela:   (standing, icily) “Why would I leave with you, and not Julius?”

Fry:   “Leela, you were in no shape to-”

She lunges at him, grabbing for his collar.

Leela:   “You ruined my date! YOU BASTARD! ” (grimaces, puts a hand to her forehead) “Ohh...”

Fry jerks, awkwardly dodging her lunge, and succeeds in falling off the side of the chair.

Fry:   “Ow-” (his voice edged with cold fear) “Leela, It wasn’t like that!”

Leela holds her head for a moment, allowing Fry time to get up. His latent instinct for self-preservation kicks in, and he makes sure to keep the chair between him and Leela.
Leela, meanwhile, leans on the chair to steady herself.

Leela:   (skewers Fry with a glare) “I’d pound your ass... but it would make my head explode.”

Fry looks at her for a moment, and gets a strange expression. Then with uncharacteristic anger,

Fry:   “... Okay, that’s it. I give up. I’ve had it. I’m done. Go ahead... give me a pounding.” (defeated) “What difference would it make?”

Leela:   (off-guard) “Huh?”

Fry:   “Go ahead! Beat the snot outta’ me! ... I only saw you have one drink last night... Since I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you have more than two drinks at a time. I know you're careful...maybe it’s that... alien metabolism, or whatever... I saw Julius bribe a waiter and put something in your drink.”

Leela:   “He-”

Fry:   (his words come out in a rush) “You were intoks-, ineeb- ... you were drunk, and I just couldn’t stand somebody taking advantage of you like that.”

Leela:   (shocked) “Julius wouldn’t have done anything like that!”

Fry:   (patting himself down) “Something just didn’t feel right about that guy.” (finds what he’s looking for, and produces the empty vial from one of his pockets) “The waiter hid this in the flowers behind you.”

Leela:   (takes the vial, not quite believing) “You’re making all this up.”


His raised voice makes Leela cringe. He lowers his tone.

Fry:   “All I know is that it wound up in your drink.”

Fry angrily turns his back to her.

Leela:   (taking a sniff from the open vial, sotto) “Alca-nol?”

Fry:   (speaking away from her, with urgency, not-quite-anger in his voice) “Good gawd, Leela. You outta' know how I feel about you:   X-mas two years ago, or when I proved Alkazar was a lyin’ sonuvabitch, or when I try to help at work, or...” (quietly) “Aw, look, I 'get it' that you don’t feel the same way about me. Fine.” (matter-of-factly) “But I’ve never lied to you...”

Leela:   (astounded, but impressed) “Who’re you, and what have you done with Fry?”

This catches Fry off-guard. He looks over his shoulder at Leela.

Fry:   “Can I take that as a ‘no’?”

Leela:   (pauses a moment, then fuming) “That manipulative bastard!” (puts her hand to her head) “Ow.”

Fry:   (gently) “Finish your coffee, you’ll feel better.”

Fry sits down on the carpet, his back to the wall, left of the chair. Seeing this, Leela takes the chair, perching on the edge, like a predator ready to pounce.

Leela:   (curiously) “How do you know so much about what’ll make me feel better?”

Fry:   “I did go to college, y’know.”

Leela:   (reaching for her coffee) “But you dropped out after-”

Fry:   “Kegers.”

Leela:   “Oh...”

Fry:   “So, you believe me about last night?”

Leela:   “I think that you didn’t directly ruin my date... How’d you get that?” (indicating his black eye)

Fry:   “You won’t like it.”

Leela:   “Too late. I already don’t like it. Did Julius hit you?”

Fry:   (reluctantly) “Er, no...Um, uh... you did...”

Leela:   (suprised) “I did?” (distant, but matter-of-factly) “...You ‘came on’ to me, didn’t you?”

Fry:   “I thought about it for, maybe, two whole seconds, but, if I’d tried anything, I’d be just as bad as, him, or Alkazar, or Zapp.” (sotto) “I’m still tryin’ to figure that one.”

Leela:   (shudders) “*Eurgh.*”

Fry:   “But, you’re getting ahead of me.”

As Fry speaks, Leela’s face fills our view, her eye narrows as she tries to remember.

Fry:   (os) “Let me tell you what happened; when you were away from the table,”

Cut to:

Interior, night. The restaurant, the previous evening.

The place is filled with orange-ish mood lighting. Leela, having just sipped her drink, and set it down, leaves the table. Julius, an evidently wealthy man, dressed almost the same as Fry, produces a small glass vial. He looks either way, and pours the contents into Leela’s drink. He calls the waiter over. The waiter bends down to hear him. Julius stuffs the empty vial, and several bills into the man’s hands.
The waiter's eyes pop momentarily, looking at the bills, He smiles, turns to leave, shrugs, and nonchalantly puts the empty bottle in a nearby planter.

Fry:   (os) “I saw him bribe the waiter, and put that ... stuff in your drink, and the thought of him... with you... like that... I had to get you out of there!”

Cut to a hallway in the restaurant.

Fry rushes up to one of the phones, stuffs some coins into it and starts frantically dialing.

Fry:   (os) “So I phoned for a taxi, then played a trick on him, like I did to Yancy once. I called the restaurant and had’em page what’s-his-face, to get him away from the table.”

Cut to interior, night. The restaurant, Leela’s table.

Leela is back at the table with Julius. As she sips the last bit from her glass, the waiter returns. He speaks to Julius, who excuses himself, and follows the waiter away from the table. Leela wobbles unsteadily. A moment later, Fry appears.

Fry:   (os) “When he left the table, I went over to you and tried to explain what was goin' on, but I don’t think you understood.

Cut to interior, night. The restaurant, Leela’s point of view.

She see’s someone approaching her. Her vision is distorted enough that she can almost tell who it is.

Cut to interior, night. The restaurant, Leela’s table.

Fry speaks to Leela, urgently takes her hand. Woozily, she starts to get up from the table. Fry spots the vial in the planter, looks at it for a moment, and puts it in his pocket. He starts to lead Leela away.

Fry:   (os) “I saw that little bottle in the planter, and something told me to take it.”

Leela falters. Fry puts his arm around her waist to support her, and drapes her arm over his shoulder.

Cut to exterior, night. The street outside the restaurant.

Teasingly, Leela resists getting in a taxi, making Fry coax her in. She giggles; he sweats. The cabbie looks on, uncertain of what to make of the situation.

Fry:   (os) “It took some doing, but I managed to get you into the cab.”

Cut to interior, night. Inside the cab.

With a drunken grin on her face, Leela watches the scenery pass by. Fry divides his attention between her and directing the cabbie. The cab abruptly makes a u-turn.

Fry:   (os) “We were halfway to Bender’s and my apartment before I realized Bender was the last one you’d want to deal with, so, I told the driver to go to your apartment instead. It took a while to find it, because I didn’t remember exactly where it was, and... well... you weren’t a lotta’ help...”

Cut to:

Interior night. The hallway outside Leela’s apartment.

Fry and Leela take the last step to her apartment door. As before, Fry has his arm around her waist, and holds her arm over his shoulder.

Fry:   (os) “We finally found your building, and I took you to your apartment.”

Fry holds Leela with one arm, and pushes buttons on the door's keypad with his free hand. The keypad makes sounds as he does.

*Beep - Beep - Beep*


Fry:   (os) “I asked you for the key, but your door has a combination, and it took a while to get it out of you.”

Cut to:

Interior, day. Leela's living room.

Fry:   “That made you all... mad... angry-like, for some reason.”

Leela:   “That’s when I gave you that shiner?”

Fry:   “You... no. I brought you inside, and started to... uh... put you to bed... That’s when...”

Leela squints, trying to remember.

Leela:   (realizes Fry has trailed off for several seconds) “When what?” (angrily) “You came on to me, didn’t you?”

Fry stands, leaning against the wall to he left of the TV, all but writhing with discomfort.

Fry:   “No! ...Like I said, I though about it... but I ... I just couldn’t do that to you... I pulled your shoes off, and you seemed to like it. I took your dress off, and you seemed to like that. I found a pair of lavender pajamas, but it was easier for me to put the nightgown on you, and you liked that... a lot... I laid you down under the covers, and you really liked that... then...*sigh*” (timidly) “Then... you... came-on... to me...”

Simultaneous truck-out, zoom in, making Leela look like the largest thing in the room. She's stunned.

Leela:   (matter-of-factly) “I... came-on... to you?”

Leela waits for her own words to sink in.

Fry:   “You grabbed my collar, pulled me towards you, undid my tie, and kissed me. At first I thought you were playing some mind game on me, then you, started to rip my shirt off. I mean literally rip it off.” (Leela sits there, open-mouthed)

Fry has an extremely guilty look. He can’t face her.

Leela:   (disbelief) “I came on to you?”

Fry:   (his face awash with conflicting emotions) “Wonderful as that might’ve been, I... just couldn’t...”

Leela:   (can’t quite wrap her mind around it) “I came-on to you?”

Fry:   “I was trying to tell you that I wasn’t Julius, that you were drunk, that you’d hate yourself in the morning, that...*sigh* but it only made you mad. Really mad.” (shudders) “Uh-h-h-h-h... I tried to back away, but you still had hold of my collar. Then you belted me...”

Leela:   (begins to sink in) “I came on to you?”

Fry:   “Then you just... passed out, like... I didn’t want to just leave you all alone there, but I knew you’d freak if you woke up and found me in your bed. And if you needed help, I thought I might not hear you if I slept in the chair, so I put the cushions on the floor next to your bed, and slept there.”

Leela:   “This is ... hard to believe.”

Fry:   “You gotta’ remember some of it. You have that little bottle in your hand; besides, if anything had happened last night, I'da been in bed with you this morning, and *gulp* you'da broken every bone in my body... twice,” (sotto) “But what a way to go.”

Leela:   “Fry I-”

Fry:   “Y’know, you have a helluva left jab?” (puts his hand to his eye)

Is that actual guilt we see on Leela's face, or merely sympathy?

Leela:   (getting up, contritely) “The least I can do is get you some ice and some lotion to put on that.”

She puts a hand to his shoulder, maneuvering him to the chair.

Leela:   “Sit?” (it's a request, not an order)

Leela heads to the kitchen

A few moments later Leela returns with a bag of frozen peas & hands it to Fry.

Leela:   “Here, put this on your eye.”

Fry looks at her quizzically.

Leela:   “The bag, Fry. Put the whole bag on your eye.”

She turns to leave. Fry looks at her questioningly for a moment, then at the bag. He shrugs, and starts to pull on the plastic to tear it open.

Leela stops herself, and speaks over her shoulder.

Leela:   (pained) “Don't open it, just use the whole thing like an ice-pack.”

Fry:   “Ah.”

He flops his head on the chair back looks up at the ceiling, and puts the bag on his eye.

Fry:   “Ee-hah, oh that’s cold... ahh...”

We hear Leela looking for something in the bathroom. She comes back a minute later with a squeeze tube. She sees Fry completely relaxed in her chair.

Leela:   (conciliatory) “Here Fry, let me put this on your eye. It should help the bruising.”

Fry:   “Ng’kay.”

The only part of Fry that moves is his arm, to remove the bag of frozen peas from his eye. Leela perches on the right side of the chair. She squeezes some of the goop onto her fingers, and gingerly rubs it around Fry’s eye for several long moments. As she is finishing she notices a nasty nick amid the bruising:   Then she holds up her hand and looks at the ring on her little finger. The width of her hand, the position of the ring, and the angle of the nick, are all a perfect match for her ring.

Leela:   (looks ruefully at Fry’s shiner) “*Sigh*” (putting her hands in her lap, eye down, regretfully) “I’m sorry Fry.”

Fry:   (he jerks) “Say what?

Leela:   (looks at Fry) “I said... I’m sorry.”

Fry:   “I’ve never heard you say that before.”

Leela:   “Here you went so far out of your way to look after me, and all I gave you for your trouble was a bad attitude, and that black eye.”

Fry:   “Forget it. That’s what friends-”

Leela:   “NO!” (winces) “No, I won’t forget it. You gave up your entire evening for me. You dropped everything, brought me home, put me to bed, and literally stayed by my side all night... All the guys I’ve dated would’ve ditched me, or taken advantage... You didn’t. That means a lot to me. And you probably didn’t even expect so much as a thank-you.” (she puts her hand to his cheek-)

Fry:   “Leela, I- *mpf*”

-With her thumb over his lips.

Leela:   (affectionately) “Fry, shut up... Every other man I know want’s something from me. The Professor and Hermes want me to make a profit for them. Alkazar wanted a maid. Adalai wanted a Stepford-wife. Julius wanted to score me like I was a trophy, & Zapp...” (shudders) “Uh-h-h... You’re the only guy I know who doesn’t want something from me. You just want to know me... for me.”

Fry:   (turns his face out of her hand) “Leela, you could have anybody you wanted, and if they didn’t want you back, they didn’t deserve you in the first place. Zapp’s a-”


Fry:   “Okay, Zapp’s a bad example, but Adlai’s a doctor, and Julius could loose the D.O.O.P budget under his sofa cushions!” (downcast) “I’m just a delivery-boy from the stupid ages. I ‘got it’ a while back that you’re just not interested... that I can’t compete.”

Leela:   “Also, ignorant, self-centered, lacking common sense, inconsiderate, tardy, impulsive, lecherous-”

Fry:   “Isn’t this is the part where you’re supposed to make me feel better?

Leela:   “-But no one else would’ve done what you did for me.” (stroking his cheek) “Thank you, Fry.” (leans down and kisses him on the other cheek)

Fry’s reaction is like that to an electric shock, but far more pleasant.

Fry:   (Leela’s lipstick on his cheek) “Hamina... hamina.”

Leela:   (smiles) “Better?”

Fry:   (just nods, open mouthed) “Ng...”

Leela:   “And, Fry?”

Fry:   “Uh-huh?”

Leela:   “Can we keep all this strictly between us?”

Fry:   “So who’d believe me? ... I wouldn’t believe me.”

Leela gets her coffee and stands up.

Leela:   (puzzled) “There’s one thing I don't understand...What happened to your date?”


Fry jerks right up out of the chair. His panicked face fills our view.

Fry:   (eyes wide) “Sweet zombie Jesus! JENNIFER!” (He bolts out the front door)

Leela watches him rush out with an empathetic look.

Leela:   “*Sigh*” (to the empty doorway) “Better luck next time?”

Closing credits.

Space Pope
« Reply #1 on: 06-16-2005 10:00 »
« Last Edit on: 06-16-2005 10:00 »

Pretty damn good job there, SpaceCase. It was funny, pretty unique as far as ship-fics go, and very cinematic (I loved that you kept Fry in shadow, then revealed why later on).

My only real complaint is that you sort of fell into that "Leela's realization" step towards the end of the story. What I mean is, you rehashed pretty much every guy she's ever dated, reiterated why they were bad for her, and told why Fry's different. It's not that that's a bad thing per se, it's just that it's been done so many times that it's become cliche. I mean, we know Zapp, Adlai, Alkazar (an unmentioned Chaz) and now, Julius, were all wrong for Leela. It's just sort of annoying to have Leela (or Fry) going through the process of why they were all wrong for her. (Although, you did mention Farnsworth and Hermes as men who want something from her, which I thought was an interesting angle...one I haven't seen before, at least.)

You also make use of the "Fry and Leela's drunken night" premise (another one that's been used before). Why is it that it's always Leela who gets drunk, and Fry who stays sober? Is it just a handy vehicle for a shippy story (one that showcases Fry as the perfect gentleman, the guy who gets everything right)? Hell yeah! But, even so, I liked that they didn't actually sleep together, which is something that's been done many times before as well. The angle of Leela's date slipping something into her drink is something I've never seen done before, and, while it seems sort of...I don't know, un-Futurama-y (I can't explain why)...it was still an interesting plot twist.

Eh, enough with the complaining. Now it's time for the praise.

This was a pretty funny story. Because I'm too lazy to actually write a coherent review, I'll just quote some stuff and tell you why I liked it.

Leela: (matter-of-factly) “I… came-on… to you?”

Leela waits for her own words to sink in.

Fry: “You grabbed my collar, pulled me towards you, undid my tie, and kissed me. At first I thought you were playing some mind game on me, then you, started to rip my shirt off. I mean literally rip it off.” (Leela sits there, open-mouthed)

Fry has an extremely guilty look. He can’t face her.

Leela: (disbelief) “I came on to you?”

Fry: (his face awash with conflicting emotions) “Wonderful as that might’ve been, I… just couldn’t…”

Leela: (can’t quite wrap her mind around it) “I came-on to you?"

I always think it's hilarious when one character keeps going on with their story, while the other one remains transfixed on one aspect of said story. Okay, that didn't make much sense...just know that I thought Leela's disbelief was both funny and understandable.

A few moments later Leela returns with a bag of frozen peas & hands it to Fry.

Leela: “Here, put this on your eye.”

Fry looks at her quizzically.

Leela: “The bag, Fry. Put the whole bag on your eye.”

She turns to leave. Fry looks at her questioningly for a moment, then at the bag. He shrugs, and starts to pull on the plastic to tear it open.

Leela stops herself, and speaks over her shoulder.

Leela: (pained) “Don't open it, just use the whole thing like an ice-pack.”

Fry: “Ah.”

I'm still debating whether or not this is too dumb for Fry, but I can picture it in my head, which is good. And it's funny (of course, my sense of humor's is screwed up, but...)

Fry: “Okay, Zapp’s a bad example, but Adlai’s a doctor, and Julius could loose the D.O.O.P budget under his sofa cushions!” (downcast) “I’m just a delivery-boy from the stupid ages. I ‘got it’ a while back that you’re just not interested… that I can’t compete.”

Leela: “Also, ignorant, self-centered, lacking common sense, inconsiderate, tardy, impulsive, lecherous-”

Fry: “Isn’t this is the part where you’re supposed to make me feel better?”

Even though I've already made it clear that I don't really like the "rehash all of Leela's bad relationship" aspect, I did find it funny that Leela remains focused on Fry's negative traits at a time when, as Fry said, she should be making him feel better.

Leela: “-But no one else would’ve done what you did for me.” (stroking his cheek) “Thank you, Fry.” (leans down and kisses him on the other cheek)

Perhaps it's a bit out of character, and it fits into the cliche catergory in a way, but it's so damn sweet. Kudos on that.

Leela: (puzzled) “There’s one thing I don't understand…What happened to your date?”


Fry jerks right up out of the chair. His panicked face fills our view.

Fry: (eyes wide) “Sweet zombie Jesus! JENNIFER!” (He bolts out the front door)

I totally forgot about the fact that Fry was on a date the previous night, so I found that pretty funny.

One last thing I have to mention: I like how you left the ending to this fic open. You didn't wind up with Fry and Leela together or anything. Which is good, because I don't think that all ship-fics should end with Fry and Leela riding off into the sunset. It just doesn't work that way. Sometimes, ambiguity is a good thing, and, in the case of this fic, it was.

So, all in all, this was a pretty funny fic. It's not without its (nitpick-susceptible, minor) flaws, but it's still well-written and original enough to get by. Nice job.

Urban Legend
« Reply #2 on: 06-16-2005 11:12 »

That's very good, SpaceCase!  Very witty and original.  When you finish writing the fanfic, post it!  Very detailed and well-written!  You're a good fanfic writer so far!  Don't let self-doubt get in the way!   wink

Starship Captain
« Reply #3 on: 06-16-2005 11:56 »

I’m useless at reviews, so I’ll just say:
  cool I like it!   cool

Bending Unit
« Reply #4 on: 06-16-2005 13:01 »
« Last Edit on: 06-16-2005 13:01 »

Good stuff SC, very enjoyable! I usually don't go for the 'script' type of fics you used a light hand and it works! The one thing that rankled a bit was Leela's repeated "I came on to you?" - I thought it went on too long but that's just me.

I agree with Gorky's points about plot points that have been used before but it still works very well!

Starship Captain
« Reply #5 on: 06-16-2005 13:51 »

Nice little fic SpaceCase.
The frozen peas part was great!

Keep it up

Starship Captain
« Reply #6 on: 06-16-2005 15:18 »

Pretty Good

Bending Unit
« Reply #7 on: 06-16-2005 15:31 »

yup, not bad at all.

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #8 on: 06-18-2005 03:36 »
« Last Edit on: 06-18-2005 03:36 »

Hello Again Everybody,
First I must apologize for taking so long to reply; RL always seems to get in the way of important stuff…   wink (and my obstinate computer isn't helping either…)
I must admit, I was concerned for a little while, that no one was going to post. It seems to me that silence is the worst response.
Thank you, you've saved me from having to break into the medicinal chocolate.   wink
Hey, it cures depression!
And now to the individual snide comments replies:

Farnsworth38: Ah, the soul of brevity. Coming from the author of "The Longest Journey Home," I take this as high praise. Thank you. Oh, so long as I have your attention, when might we anticipate another installment of TLJH? (That is, if you wouldn't mind sharing?)

KurtPikachu2001: Witty? Original? I don't believe I've ever been accused of that before (and I believe Gorky had a few choice words about originality). It saddens me that the likelihood of my completing the... erm... parent story from which the above was taken is even lower than that of our favorite show returning to the air. Detailed and well written? Well, thank you I'll take whatever I can get away with.   wink And, for the record, self doubt is not an issue - Not to make myself sound arrogant or conceited: It is a problem of... Hmm... A failure of the 'creative juices' as it were.
Your saying, "You're a good fanfic writer so far!" Reminds me of a joke about an optimist who falls off the top of a skyscraper; He plummets past a window washer (or something) three quarters of the way down, who asks him, "Are you alright?"
The optimist yells back, "So far, so good!"

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #9 on: 06-18-2005 04:50 »
« Last Edit on: 08-27-2008 20:03 »

<Enraged scream deleted>


Sorry about that.
I apologize for the double-post. It was the only way I could post the entire message. For some reason PEEL just would not permit me to post the whole thing all at once.   confused  Go figure.

Having completed my rant, I'll now post the remainder of the preceding message:

Last, but certainly not least:


You honor me with your reply M'Lady. Not only this but,



*Ahem* Sorry about that...

Funny? Well, thank you. I try - often with mixed results.

Cinematic, ay? I have always held that like graphic novels and movies, television is essentially a 'story told with pictures'. Therefore the best way of writing for it, or them, is to paint a picture with words - as vividly as possible.

As to the 'Leela's Realization' bit towards the end of the story, rat's! You nailed me! I hold that Leela does indeed have profound feelings for Fry: Not to the same degree to which Fry has for her, but much deeper than she is willing to admit, and beyond what either of them realize. Yes she's put off by Fry's childishness; yes, she doesn't like his lack of ambition... or manners… or hygiene  smile But it is there nonetheless.

All she needs is the right kind of nudge to realize it.

Yes, I agree we all know that Sean, Zapp, Dean Vernon, Alkazar, Adalai, Chaz, ad-nauseam, were all wrong for her. Cliché or not, it fits the goals of the plot nicely. It sets up Fry's feelings of unworthiness, Leela's ridiculously high standards, and *ahem* a joke at Zapp's expense. Although I did try to keep the exposition about this to a minimum; a phrase for each of them from both Leela and Fry.

I'm glad you noticed my mention of Farnsworth and Hermes; at least I got something right!  wink

I never intended this as a "Fry & Leela's Drunken Night" kind of story. I intended it as more of a "Leela's Date Goes a Whole 'Nother Kind of Wrong" kind of story, where Fry is in the right place at the right time to do the right thing. There is no mention of Fry drinking, nor of Leela over-indulging in alcohol; she was drugged. But you are correct: It is a convenient vehicle for a shippy story...  wink

Fry and Leela being physically intimate? Well, that may have it's place. But it ain't here.

Please do not interpret the foregoing as my attempt to defend myself: If I must explain my story after telling it, I've not told it well enough. But, no worries. It's the process of learning by experiment. I'll get it sooner or later.

Oh, and for future reference, it's "critiquing," not "complaining."  wink

I'm glad you liked Leela's being hung-up on her behavior towards Fry. It seems to me that she might just do that if she lost her inhibitions, but when she regained her faculties she'd wonder, "What the HELL was I thinking?" Though here, she regains her faculties, not her memory.

Fry isn't the brightest crayon in the box in the twentieth century. He's an uneducated, unambitious, ignorant, slovenly slacker. In the thirty-first century his woes are compounded by a millennium of change. I know people NOW who don't know the trick of using frozen food bags as ice-packs. For Fry to not know this  seems reasonable to me, especially in light of some of the crazy things he's done in the show - but, again, that's me. I'm glad you liked it: that means your sense of humor is almost as sick and twisted as mine... almost...

Kudo's? You're giving me KUDO's? ... Aw, please. Yer' makin me blush again. Kidding aside, I've been reading "Fry's Choice." You're good. If you like something I've scribbled, I take it as high praise.

And the closing gag about Fry forgetting his date? Ah, the gentle art of concealment. It was my intent from the beginning to intentionally NOT mention anything about it to misdirect the reader into forgetting all about it. Thank you. It seems to have worked.

Open ending? Hmm... This was not the story in which to bring Fry and Leela together. That sort of thing, I think deserves a much longer narrative- one fraught with opportunity for both glory and disaster, intimacy, and apathy: A grueling marathon of twists and turns, adversity and character development. A satisfyingly torturous-

>.< D'OH!

My, I do carry on, don't I? Meh. I couldn't do it justice.  wink That, and the fact that it is unclear just when in the series this story is supposed to occur (even in my pointed little head).

Nitpick-susceptibility? Pick away! The more boo-boo's that get worked out of the story (any story) before post-time, the better.

Thanks for posting Gorky; I'm tickled that you liked it.

@ Everyone: If I haven't made it clear already: Thanks for posting!

I'll edit this as my work schedule allows in order to reply to the rest of you.

Later dates...


1) If anyone has a suggestion for a title, I'd love to hear it.

2) Should I offer this for posting on Futurama Madhouse, or TLZ or whatever the hell it's called this week?

I'll just ooze back out under the door now...
Jonny Wobbs

Bending Unit
« Reply #10 on: 06-18-2005 09:16 »

That is so awsome Space Case! Make more!! Quickly!!!

Urban Legend
« Reply #11 on: 06-18-2005 15:37 »

Gorky didn't write 'Fry's Choice' Layla did.

Space Pope
« Reply #12 on: 06-18-2005 19:54 »
« Last Edit on: 06-18-2005 19:54 »

Originally posted by Venus:
Gorky didn't write 'Fry's Choice' Layla did.

*reads reply from SpaceCase*

Ssshhh, Venus! I was basking in totally undeserved praise!

Oh, wait...

Yeah, Venus is right. I am not the brilliant writer behind "Fry's Choice". If I was, I think I would rub such writing perfection in the face of everyone I knew. (Seriously, though, "Fry's Choice" has got to be one of the most amazing fanfics I have ever read, and, even though I have nothing to do with it, I have to agree that it's good stuff.) I have written some stuff that can be found someplace or other, but nothing as good as your story, or Layla's, for that matter.

But, enough plugging already. What I actually popped my head in here to say was this...

Do you plan on showing us anymore of your writing? 'Cause, if you are, that'd be awesome.

Oh yeah, and you should definitely submit this to TLZ...although I have absolutely no idea of what you should call it. Sorry...


Space Pope
« Reply #13 on: 06-19-2005 14:38 »

Spacecase: That was a fun read. I love reading a fic about Fry being the good guy and helping Leela out. It was a good story but there are some tidbits in there. For example:

Fry: Ladies' first.

No, no, no! Fry only says that in an awkward time that doesn't involve a serious conversation. By that I mean he'd say that if they had to go through a hole and he didn't want to go first. See one of the episodes where they go down to the sewers.

Fry: I found a pair of lavender pajamas.

Just say pajamas. Fry doesn't need to go into detail. Instead he could have said,

Fry: I found some pajamas...but a nightgown worked better so...

And I know I had another one but I can't remember so,

Fry: (eyes wide) “Sweet zombie Jesus! JENNIFER!” (He bolts out the front door)

The joke itself is funny but the line is a NO-NO. Why? Because that's a retstricted Farnsworth/Hermes line. Fry can say "Holy shit!" or something like that but like Dr. Thunder told me, you don't use lines that have been used and laughed at before.

Otherwise SC, great job. I liked that and you are good at dialouge, detailization, and stories.

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #14 on: 06-21-2005 15:31 »
« Last Edit on: 08-27-2008 20:08 »

Hello again all,
Thank you for your replies.

Whether the plot points have been used before or not isn't nearly as important to me as whether or not the story works.
I'm glad you liked it.

NIC2000, TheGlob, IamBender:
Glad you all liked it, Thanks for posting.

Johnny Wobbs:
Awesome? <*Blush*> You flatter me.
Sadly, my 'creative' juices' don't seem to flow as freely as Gorky's... or Venus'... or Layla's... or- well, you get the idea. I can't promise I'll have another 'fic ready anytime soon, if ever...   frown

>-< D'OH!
Great, now I'm gonna need 'the jaws of life' to get my foot out of my mouth...
Wait, my knees aren't double-jointed! MEDIC!
Thanks for telling me the error of my ways.

Gorky (Again!):
I confused Layla's story with yours: Big oops.
Undeserved praise, my empty shell! I read 'The Dating Game' and two or three of your other fics.
<Randy> Honey, you're good! </Randy>

I have written some stuff that can be found someplace or other, but nothing as good as your story...


Are you nuckin' futz, girl?

Trust me. I know a good Futurama 'fic when I see one. Of late they usually written by you, Venus, or Layla.
Me? I do not claim anything I've written qualifies as 'good'. I have it on reliable authority that I can turn a phrase, but I still have a LOT to learn about telling a good story.
Showing you any more of my writing? Sure... but you might be ready to retire by then... I am working on other stories but not getting very far. It's that 'creative juices' thing again. *Sigh*
Thanks for the vote of confidence about TLZ.
Oh, and one other thing: You PIMP you! You posted a link to my floundering excuse for a thread in Layla's thread! Here.
<*Blush*> Aw, you're doing it again...
Thank you.

I'm glad you liked it.
About Fry's speech mannerisms... what can I say? I don't think I write particularly well for Fry. I can relate to his unresolved feelings towards Leela, I can relate to some of the angst-y stuff resulting, but I don't do 'dumb' well... But I'm working on it...
Electro-shock therapy!   big grin
Fry has said "Boned" before, so why could he not add new expressions to his speech? I wanted an exclamation from Futurama to cap his exit. "Holy shit" or something like that just... fell flat. Too generic. Pedestrian.
But don't get me wrong. If anyone reading my story (stories?) notices something that doesn't feel right, I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT! Although (and this is not directed only at you, Spacedal) you could do me a great favor when you find something off-model in my writing by suggesting how to correct it. I'm all for constructive criticism. Polite, tactful, constructive criticism...
Don't hit me, I bruise easily.
Thanks for posting.

For reprints of the preceding tirade, please send $2.95 to Farkle Press...   wink

say what now

Bending Unit
« Reply #15 on: 06-21-2005 15:42 »

Awwww, SpaceCase... this is such a cute story. I loved it. It made me giggle quite a few times. Though I have to disagree with what Spacedal said about "Ladies' first"... I thought that was cute and funny  smile.

But really, this was written really well. Gorky pointed out a lot of what I liked. I really enjoyed it.

You better start stocking up on creative juices, because I'm going to start leading a mob against you if you don't give us more to ooh and aah over soon!! :P

Starship Captain
« Reply #16 on: 06-21-2005 15:44 »

Originally posted by SpaceCase:
Farnsworth38: Ah, the soul of brevity. Coming from the author of "The Longest Journey Home," I take this as high praise. Thank you. Oh, so long as I have your attention, when might we anticipate another installment of TLJH? (That is, if you wouldn't mind sharing?)
Indeed, I’m a man of few words... and even then I get some of them wrong.  tongue

As for part 3 of TLJH: thanks for the plug, but let’s just say things haven’t been conducive to creative writing and leave it at that. Sorry.

To be on topic: the idea of Leela inadvertently using Fry as a bedside rug was a nice touch.  laff

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #17 on: 06-21-2005 16:03 »
« Last Edit on: 06-21-2005 16:03 »

Say what now:
Thank You. You're warming this ol' ship-fic-er's heart.
It's that tiny, black, rocky thing next to my power supply, I think...
The concensus would seem to be that I got a few things <*Gasp*> right?
Mm-mm. Will miracles never cease?    hmpf

I'm glad you liked the gag.
Sorry to hear about your creative lull; been there, done that, bought the T-shirt...
And it didn't fit...

By the way, does anyone know where I might buy a few dozen liters of "Mom's Old-Fashioned Creative Juices?" I take type SAE-positive...    roll eyes
I'm sorry, I don't know what kind Farnsworth38 takes...

Space Pope
« Reply #18 on: 06-21-2005 16:08 »

*Raises baseball bat* Oh you piss me off so much!

Nah I'm just joking. It's a great story. And I know how hard it is to write words that fit Fry. I have that new ship fic out in TLZ. Not easy stuff.

But your writing is bad and you should feel bad!  wink

I'll understandif I'm not allowed on this thread anymore.

Liquid Emperor
« Reply #19 on: 06-21-2005 16:20 »
« Last Edit on: 01-21-2008 00:00 »


Nah, I'm just yankin yer chain. You're entitled to your opinion.

I think if enough people review a fic, they'll catch everything, and personal bias averages out. But hey, what do I know. I've only completed one fic-let.
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