First Fanfic For Me

[on:]

LOCATION: PE HQ- ZOIDBERG'S QUARTERS
*Zoidberg hums while packing bags*
*Bender walks in*
BENDER Going somewhere?
ZOIDBERG I'm going to medical school!
*Bender's head explodes*

THEME PLAYS

IN PE CONFRENCE ROOM
LEELA You're going to med school? I... I...
PROFESSOR While Leela is stuttering, may I ask if I am just more senile than usual, or is this actually real?
ZOIDBERG It's real alright!
PROFESSOR Oh, god! I think I'm having a heart  attack!
*Headless Bender walks in, carrying a crate labled "ONE BENDING UNIT HEAD", and Amy welds it on*
HERMES How the hell can you afford to go to medical school, ya moochin' crawdad? Your salary is 17 cents per year!
ZOIDBERG When I first came to this planet, I invested my last $50 in yahoo.com. Now, it is worth $750.
HERMES Sweet Lobster of Lansing! He has more money invsted than I do!
LEELA Isn't Yahoo.com the website that uses signals broadcast over the internet to literally melt your mind?
PROFESSOR No, that's Google.com. Yahoo is the one who kidnapps it's competitors for ransom.
ZOIDBERG Enough with the persicution already!  I have no money for light-speed taxi fare! Someone needs to drive me!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

AT JACK KEVORKIAN'S ZOMBIE MEDICAL SCHOOL
PERSON AT ENROLLMENT BOOTH The price of tuition is $749.99.
LEELA Isn't that awfully cheap?
*Laser points at Leela's head*
LEELA Nevermind.
*zoidberg pays, then enters*
HOLOGRAM OF JACK KEVORKIAN'S ZOMBIE *moans* Welcome, new student. Please ignore the screams and sounds of blood dripping. This is a perfectly normal medical school. *moans*

PE CONFRENCE ROOM
LEELA If Zoidberg graduates from that hellhole, he'll be a worse doctor than before!
HERMES Sweet Murderer of Manistee! We have to stop him!
PROFESSOR But I am alredy in my pajamas... *snores and starts to drool*

AT J.K.Z.M.S.
TEACHER WITH SCAR ON FOREHEAD Hello! My name is Mr. Scarr. This is sugery 101. Our first lesson is on morphine *writes word on chalkboard as he says it*

PE HQ- SPACESHIP HANGAR
LEELA Alright. As soon as Scruffy is finished installing the Magnitized Particle Shooter on to the ship, we'll be able to cover outside of the building with magnitized particles, so the vaporizer-matic can vaporize the outside only. Then we'll use fish pheremone to lure Zoidberg into the Reverse Memoray Chamber we built in the corner of 1.7th and 22.9% street, wiping his memory of those horrible classes. Understand?
*Fry shakes head and scratches butt*
*Leela groans*
LEELA We make Zoidberg go into the zappy thing, OK?
FRY Oh!
END OF PART ONE

[Reply #1 on:]

Oh, and I couldn't think of a title. Any suggestions?

[Reply #2 on:]

Another Michigan native...how sad.

It seems very unpolished and even unfinished.  Going through the dialog in my head, you have about forty seconds of dialog between the cold opener and where you ended the first act.

There are a few good gags in there, but be careful on the "great something of someplace" jokes, I didn't even remember where Manistee was.  I'll withhold further comment until it's finished.

[Reply #3 on:]

First Off: Very.. truthful... DrThunder. AND WHATS WRONG WITH MICHIGAN! *Shivers and teeth chatter*
Second Off: It is my first fanfic after all! Oh, and did you get the light-speed taxi joke? (probably not) If you pay for how long you ride and you're going at light speed, it would take .0000000000001 milliseconds to get from one part of NNY to another.This means Zoidberg is really poor. *snorts* Oh, and sorry for spoiling the (bad) joke.
Third Off: PART TWO

THEME PLAYS

IN PE SHIP
LEELA Well, we are positioned over the medical school. Activating the Magnitized Particle Shooter! *presses button, but nothing happens* Computer? What is the deal?
COMPUTER The shooter has no magnitized particles.
LEELA Bender! I told you 17 times to load up the particle shooter!
BENDER I'll have Zoidberg do it when he gets back.
*Leela moans*
LEELA Well, time for plan B. *Pulls out pot of liquid butter and a shell-cracker*

COMMERCIAL BREAK

LEELA I can use these to scare Zoidberg out of the scholl, and then we'll catch him and put him into the Reverse Memoray Chamber
*Fry schratches his butt*
*Leela moans*
LEELA We make zoidberg freak out and take him into the zappy thing.
FRY Oh!
BENDER Won't we have to go into the medical school for that?
*Leela nods head*
FRY What is the big deal about the medical school?
LEELA Haven't you ever heard of Jack Kevorkian?
FRY No.
LEELA Well, I don't have time. Have the professor tell you.
AT J.K.Z.M.S.
MR. SCARR Time for the final exam. You must do what our Zombie founder did which turned him into the most hated... err... loved... doctor of his time. You must be doctor to a patient in horrible pain. And remember our lesson on pain killers!
PE SHIP
LEELA We have to stop him before he passes his final, or we'll al be doomed! *Exits ship*
Well, time to cook a lobster! *television audience boos*
*runs fast into school*
LEELA Zoidberg? I've come to congratulate you on becoming a doctor! We're going to uh... have a *coughs lobster* feast!
*Zoidberg runs out, sees the pot of liquid butter and shell-cracker and runs*
ZOIDBERG wooop-woop-woop-woop-woop!
*Leela pursues*
ZOIDBERG Leela's gone crazy, she has! I'm scared, I am!
*approaches Reverse Memoray Chamber*
HERMES Sweet Athelete of Escanaba! He runs like an athlete! *says "Lobster approachin' memory wiper" into radio*
*Hermes turns on Reverse Memoray Chamber, the Zoidberg goes in*
REVERSE MEMORAY CHAMBER Now wiping memo-- Warning! Warning! Power overload!
*Beams cut right through Zoidberg's Head, which kills him*
HERMES Heat up that butter!
LEELA He's dead! And I care?! Why?
CREDITS, *to the music of "Amazing Grace, played by bagpipes* *Images of Zoidberg in background*
THE (Sad, suprising, and unexpected) END

Well, was that horrible enough for a first fanfic?
I'll follow up on it in another (horrible) Fanfic.
To honor Zoidberg, I shall say one of my favoite quotes.
*Zoidberg rides in on sperm in Fry's body*
Yippy Kai-ay Everybody! You'll never guess where i've been!

[Reply #4 on:]

 

Originally posted by hail_futurama:
First Off: Very.. truthful... DrThunder. AND WHATS WRONG WITH MICHIGAN! *Shivers and teeth chatter*

Read my profile.  I've got so much Michigan in me that I bleed potholes.

[Reply #5 on:]

The title of the follow-up fanfic will be "Zoidberg's Death" Original, Huh?