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Author Topic: Hooray! Not-so-newbie fanfic!  (Read 8185 times)
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Nerd-o-rama

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #160 on: 07-02-2005 02:58 »

Wow.  Just gorgeous.  And the dress isn't bad, either.

And I've just now read that last bit.  Great evocation of emotionalness...ish...ness.  Once again, you generate real sympathy for fictional characters through such great characterization.  Just one thing: make sure you stay consistent on the "arms" vs. "tentacles".  Or maybe not, since squid-like arms are still, in fact, arms.  Anyhow, great work, and great Farnsworth.
Tom35

Crustacean
*
« Reply #161 on: 07-02-2005 04:42 »

Layla, I have said it before and I will say it again. You are one great writer.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #162 on: 07-02-2005 08:16 »

Hmmmm... for some reason i had it in my head that you were a blonde. I have no idea how i reached that conclusion. I feel so disillusioned right now.
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #163 on: 07-02-2005 09:15 »

Nice dress Layla. The first picture made me jump. It’s so similar to the picture I took of my girlfriend at our prom night. (But she had a pink dress)(Wow that was so long ago)

Why would anyone laugh at you? I know that I’m not the best to say or write this but I think that you look very good. I really like you hair color. You did have a weird smile in the first picture but in the other three you look fine.  wink 

I got to go now. Yep, I’m still working!

Bye for now.


Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #164 on: 07-02-2005 11:26 »

Okay, I've got that update ready for you all. It's definately a mood lifter, but I think I'm channeling JBERGES through a lot of it. Special thanks to N-o-r for taking a looksie.

N-o-r: Thanks, dear. You made me laugh and feel less terrified. Nice trick. Thanks for pointing out the arm/tentacle thing. I'll try to be more consistant. It's amazing how easy it is to forget that sort of thing.

Venus: Oh, you don't have to be disillusioned! You have good instincts. Despite the pictures, my hair is blonde. (Dirty blonde really) It came out really dark in the photos, I dunno why. Sorry for making you cry! (But not really.  wink)

Nic: Heh, didn't mean to startle you there. Thanks for the complement and thanks for making me laugh about my weird smile. Good luck with work this week!

Glad you liked the dark update. You have a busy Canada Day? Mine was too, starting with an 8AM singing of O Canada, then a noon concert, then a parade, then the Tattoo. At least my stuff is fun! I didn't know July 1 was moving day. That's interesting.

I: Aw... don't cry! Have a cuddle!

say what now: You come up for Canada Day? Why? Where? Tell, tell, tell!

I hoped you liked the dress! And the cutie within of course.  wink Glad to have been able to inspire such hatred in you. (Now there's something I never thought I'd say). Farnsworth is such a fun ice breaker. I hope you're still alive! If you die, you'll never know what happens! Sorry I couldn't promise about tommorow.

Shiny: Call the medic! It's almost tommorow... heh. Sorry. Tattoo people faint regularly during the show's finale from standing too long in hot uniforms. Nice to know I have the same effect on you. Heehee!

Tom35: I have said it before and I will say it again, thanks so much!  smile

Meerkat: Oh, thank you dear! That dress is so much fun to wear. It makes you want to curtsy to everyone.

Gorky: Ah, my dear Gorky! The reviews you give me, my goodness! I'm glad you liked the sad stuff. This part is much much more fun! I didn't mean to make you really sad.

I'm really liking this chance to explore the characters we don't know so well. Morris and Munda are so interesting.

Farnsie hadn't taken a shot at Wernstrom in a good long while. It needed to be done.  smile I'm always happy to hear when someone can hear the dialogue in their head. It's one of my goals when I write these lines.
I'm so glad you liked the unreassuring reassurance. I like the repetivive, not repetition. It's fun. Cavewomany goodness! Heehee!

I have more cliffhangers than story here. I was gonna say, well this one isn't a cliffie but then I read it again...

Thanks for everything, Gorky!

Ol'coot: I don't mean to torment you, but it's just so much fun! I'm such a tease. Thanks!

   “Nine thousand one hundred and six, nine thousand one hundred and seven, nine thousand one...”

Hermes’s voice continued to chant rhythmically in the background as Amy, snuggled against her floppy verdant love machine, murmured, “At first it was pretty annoying, but I have to admit Hermes was right; the counting is kind of soothing after a while. All those numbers, they just keep going on and on forever.”

   “Yes,” Kif agreed calmly, “just like our love, my beloved Smizmar.”

   Amy beamed up at him, “Oh, Kif. I’m so happy to be here with you.”

   “The feeling is entirely mutual, dearest. Wherever I am, as long as I’m with you, it’s the most wonderful place in the world.” The steadily rising numbers took on a harsh quality as a direct result of the sugar dissolving in the air.

   The intern nodded in sleepy agreement. “And it’s so peaceful in here since Captain Brannigan fell asleep.” Zapp was curled up in the fetal position, whimpering softly. “Like an angel in a velour micro-mini,” she sighed thoughtfully. Amy was a forgiving soul, unless someone tried to steal her boyfriend. Poor Kif shuddered involuntarily at the image.

   From a corner behind them, Hermes stopped counting, “Yeah,” he growled bitterly, “it’s almost enough to stop me from relishing the thought of his asphyxiation death in the cold depths of space.” The bureaucrat got up to his feet for a brief stretch.

“I am way behind on my stamping,” he muttered, frowning at the universe as if it personally offended him. “When the Central Bureaucracy finds out about this,
I won’t be able to get a decent funeral.” Hermes shook his head in disgust. “I haven’t even filed a notice of kidnapping report!”

   “That’s what you’re worried about?” Amy asked skeptically. “Stamping? Forms? The thought of swimming in vacuum doesn’t bother you?” The Asian shivered, having frightened herself.

   The Jamaican shrugged, “…and my family will be worried.” There didn’t seem to be anything else to say, and they fell silent again.

With one helpless kick at the door, Hermes reclaimed his place on the floor. Leaning back against the wall, he began to sing the slightly edited words of an ancient hymn which had always comforted him in difficult times. “99 standard reduction-in-pay forms to be filed, 99 standard reduction in pay forms! Fry screwed up so his pay will be cut, 98 standard reduction-in-pay forms to be filed!”
---------------------------------------
   Fry shifted wearily as consciousness slowly returned. The first thing he was aware of, aside from a throbbing headache, was that he was dry. Dry, and warm. This came as rather a surprise to him, as his last clear memory was of being submerged in icy water, certain he would drown. Someone else was there…

   “Leela!” eyes flying open, Fry sat up suddenly, well, he tried to anyway. Long unused muscles refused to cooperate and Fry flopped back down painfully, moaning, shutting his eyes again.

   Wherever he was, it smelled terrible. Fry wrinkled his nose, at least something of his was still working right, besides whatever part of him was in charge of letting him know how much this all hurt. Part of him wanted to drift back to sleep and away from pain for a while, but he could not put Leela out of his mind so easily. His thoughts were clearer than they had been for, well, he didn’t know when, but it seemed like a very long time.

   He pried his eyes open gingerly, whimpering as even the dim light stabbed mercilessly into his brain.

   “Solder it, meatloaf”, hissed a welcome voice.

   “Bender?” Fry murmured, lifting his head slightly. Cold metal hands clamped over his mouth. Alarmed voices echoed around him. Something had obviously upset somebody, but that was as far as Fry could take that thought.

   “Shhhh!” the robot drawled emphatically, purposefully expelling flecks of oil to simulate spittle. Blinking at the moisture, Fry tried to nod in response but found it impossible to move his head. Bender was forcefully holding it to the ground. It was fortunate for the delivery boy that he could still breathe through his nose. Unable to do anything, Fry, as he did so often in life, surrendered.

After a few interminable minutes, Bender let go of him. “We’re cheesing it! C’mon!” Fry rolled over and began staggering to his feet. He swayed dramatically and nearly ended up on the ground again. The world tipped sideways crazily and Fry flopped limply into something hard. Ah, Bender was carrying him. That always meant trouble. Of course, Bender in general meant trouble.

   At first, the ride was fairly smooth. Bender was moving stealthily to avoid being spotted. Spotted by whom, Fry didn’t know. Every time he tried to raise his head and look around, Bender would move sharply, sending the redhead’s face bobbing into Bender’s back. Fry wasn’t entirely sure it was coincidental. The next time it happened, he kicked awkwardly in protest.

   “Ow!" Bender growled. "Stop that, or you’re going for a swim.” After briefly considering the threat, Fry subsided meekly. It was best not to put such a declaration to the test. Not overly fond of baths in general, the delivery boy really didn’t want to have a bath down here, especially as it would mean a long, thorough bath later.

   The benefits of Fry’s passivity, namely fewer wangs to the head, did not last long. Within a few minutes, Bender had picked up speed, moving into a light jog, then a run, causing Fry’s head to careen painfully and repeatedly against his friend and primary means of conveyance. The redhead yelped rhythmically with the impacts.

   “Ooh! Ack! Stop! Plea-ahh! Ben! Derrouch!” Fry bit his tongue sharply and gave up trying to talk. He shuddered on his friend’s shoulder. He was beginning to feel cold as well as exhausted and the pressure on his ribs had grown into an agonizing ache.

   If Bender was aware of, or concerned with, the pain he was causing Fry, the robot gave no sign. “Hey, buddy, I think you’ve lost weight since the coma.” He commented, leaping heavily over something Fry could not see. The bending unit swung his baggage around experimentally. “Yep!” Bender chirped brightly, “Definitely less of you to heft around.”

Fry moaned weakly in response, and then shut his eyes. He had lost the strength to do anything but dangle and hope his ordeal would soon be over. What was happening? Who were they running from? More likely than not, Bender had done something criminal to get them into trouble.  Fry didn’t really mind that, but he liked to know the specific reasons why people were howling for his blood.

With nothing else to do, Fry once again tried to piece together his fragmented memories, not an easy task at the best of times. It felt like waking out of a prolonged nightmare, or possibly like arriving home after that three-week stint in military school.

   “End of the line!” Fry was flipped over Bender and set gracelessly on the ground in an effortless motion. The world spun dizzily around him and it was all Fry could do to breathe deeply and fight back the nausea and pain assaulting him. At least the landing was much gentler than Fry had expected; Bender was being careful. He must have been wrecked up bad, the redhead realized, whatever had happened, to cause Bender to be even remotely protective.

   Gingerly, and with more effort than was usually necessary, Fry sat up and peered into the shadows. Indistinctly, he could make out Bender, eyes gleaming faintly and tensed into a particularly sneaky expression reserved for heists and jailbreaks.

   ‘Keeping a lookout,’ Fry decided after more thought than should have been required. “What’s going on?”

   “Oh, you humans,” Bender growled contemptuously, “Always asking inane questions. ‘What’s going on? Where am I? Why are you doing this to me?’ On and on and on-”

   “Heh heh heh, yep! You sure got us pegged, Bender!” Fry chuckled easily for a minute before continuing, “So, what up?”

   “It’s the end of the world as the mutants know it, but you won’t catch me whining about it.”

   Fry took this in with a relaxed shrug. “Hmm… well, I always thought you’d have a hand in it. At least, since I met you.” Bender brightened considerably, though not literally.

   “Aw, thanks buddy! Makes me glad you’re still alive.”

   The redhead clouted his roomie on the shoulder. “You’re a good friend, Bender.”  They grinned at each other in companionable silence, bonding.

“So,” Fry broke in when the staring had gone on long enough to make him highly uncomfortable, “about this end of the world thing?”

   “Oh, yeah, that. I was lying.”

   “Of course,” Fry nodded encouragingly, unfazed.”

   “Well, not lying, exaggerating. The President-”

   “Elvis?”

   “No, he was ‘the King’,” Bender’s face briefly took on a faintly awed look through the miracle of technology. “The President-”

   “John Wayne?”

   “No, he was ‘the Duke, the Earth President-”

   “Oh, Captain Kirk!”

   “No!” Without looking back, Bender swatted Fry in exasperation. “Don’t be ridiculous, Fry. You can’t be a captain and a president.”

   “Really? Why not?”

   Bender rolled his optical circuits. “Don’t you remember? People versus the Captain Crunch for President Electoral Committee, case of 2998?”

Fry frowned, trying to remember, “Oh yeah, wasn’t there a football player involved in that somehow?” he asked hopefully.

   Bender’s patience fuse for dealing with idiotic mammals blew out spectacularly. “Ow!” he moaned as a faint explosion echoed in his head. Bender rubbed it miserably, glaring poisonously at Fry. “Nevermind. Earth President-” Fry opened his mouth and again, without seeing, Bender raised a threatening hand. The delivery boy subsided. “-Nixon”

   “Oh yeah, that guy.”

   “-declared war on the mutants so he could get a hold of you for some reason that I don’t care about. Fragged a bunch of them, lotsa pain and misery, that sorta thing, and it’s pretty much all your fault for trying to be a hero.” Fry gaped at him. “Yeah, I guess you’ll be wanting to have a crisis of conscience, or some sort of breakdown or something ‘cause of that.”

   Fry scratched his butt idly, catching up on important tasks left undone for far too long. “I’m sorry, what we’re you saying? I wasn’t listening.”

   “Nothing important,” Bender shrugged. “I just got you away from the jerkwads in the natty uniforms. Next stop: the sweet, sweet streets of New New York.”

Despite the lighthearted optimism in Bender’s voice, a tone usually only heard during a post robbery high, he remained watchful and edgy. They weren’t out of trouble by a long shot, Fry decided with a sinking feeling.

   Fry felt a swell of anxiety flood him but he quashed the urge to panic, there would be no relaxing until he knew Leela was safe, and then he could relax and panic. A sudden terror grabbed him by the throat and shook. Bender had not mentioned Leela. Was he hiding something? Well, about her, specifically?

   “Bender!” he yelped, grabbing the indignant robot and dragging him over so he was facing Fry’s impossibly wide eyes. “What about Leela?”

Just like that, Fry remembered Leela, scared, terrified at the possibility of losing herself to that twisted invention; the look in her parent’s eyes, the last, precious walk together through the rain, the moment of decision, even the Voice Lady. Fully panicked now, Fry tried to control his breathing enough to speak.

   “Oh, yeah, her.” Bender shrugged. The solider guys took her somewhere, hospital maybe, I dunno. Grabbed her mom and the Professor too.” This was delivered in the same manner a human might note that it was raining heavier. Bad news, but nothing to be alarmed about. He chuckled briefly, “Momma Leela put up some kind of fight too. Made a nice distraction so I could demagnetize the guard.”

   “We have to get her back! We have to help them somehow!” Fry’s volume had increased significantly, despite Bender’s rejoinder to “Mute it!” The redhead shook his head violently and headed for the opening. Reaching out casually, Bender snagged him in a grip that defied metallurgical analysis. “Hang on, Fry. We got to get away from these guys before you go haring off to rescue anybody.”

   Fry tried to yank his arm away but the bending unit held fast. “Just me? You won’t come?”

   Bender shrugged. “That’s your job as the bumbling hero, ain’t it? I’m just the lovable sidekick! ‘Danger, danger, Fry Robinson’ Bender mocked saucily, waving his arms around wildly.

   Unfortunately, a small, enclosed and none too stable shack is not the best place for ancient robot impressions, no matter how fiendishly evil the ancient robot had turned out to be. Robbie’s murderous spree had earned him a place of honour in the annals of robot history, despite the overwhelming scorn for his brief stint as an actor. The television show, which gradually twisted the sweet young robot into a bitter killing machine, had played only a few years in the 1960’s.

A tragic and humiliating incident at the closing cast party caused the numerous slights that naturally accumulate when people (and robots) work together in close quarters to boil over. Enraged, Robbie plotted revenge, first arranging the filming of the infamous ‘Lost in Space’ movie, before going on a rampage that resulted in the drawn out, torturous deaths of thousands of people and an adorable piglet named ‘Babe’. To this day, historians regard ‘Lost in Space’ as the robot’s most evil crime against humanity.

   Perhaps invoking Robbie’s catchphrase stirred demons best left sleeping, but in any case, Bender the robot’s left arm slammed unluckily into a supporting beam and brought their hiding place down on them with a tremendous crash.

    Coughing and gasping for air that gave at least a semblance of being breathable, Fry struggled out from the wreckage and into the waiting handcuffs of one of the soldiers patrolling the area for potential prisoners. With all the cold-blooded efficiency of Robbie’s binary-based heart, the soldier converted the redhead from a potential prisoner into a kinetic one as he dragged Fry away from the rubble.

   “Yeah, I think so,” the man said into a radio as he pulled Fry, still coughing, to his feet. ‘Is there a robot with you?” Before Fry could answer coherently, let alone with a reasonably plausible lie, his partner called out, “I got him!”

   “No, not the magnet!” Bender wailed before launching into a charming rendition of ‘Jailhouse Rock’.”

   A powerful magnet was standard issue for certain ops groups, but not for controlling robots. No, they were carried for low tech, quick erasure of important files in the event of capture. The anti-inhibitory effect of magnets on Bending Units was an isolated effect due to a mechanical flaw that had also been linked to low job satisfaction and a propensity for encouraging delinquency in minors.

The two fugitives were dragged off to an unknown future accompanied my the immortal words, "Number forty-seven said to number three: You’re the cutest jailbird I ever did see. I sure would be delighted with your company. Come on and do the jailhouse rock with me!"
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #165 on: 07-02-2005 13:23 »

Nice part Layla. (You forgot to write the part number  tongue )

The Lost in space part was really funny.

And again your Bender was perfect. I really like the part were Fry is being carried by him. Poor Fry, it sure sounds painful!


Yep July 1st is the official moving day here in Montreal. I don’t know why but a lot of peoples move out/in that day. You said that Canadian were indecisive peoples, well I must say that peoples from Montreal are worst. They move in their apartment only to move out the next year.  roll eyes  And it’s like that every year. Don’t ask me why they do this… I’m so glad to live out of the city!

Again I must go back to work. (Just can’t wait to go home and play with my son)

Bye for now.
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #166 on: 07-02-2005 14:17 »

Hi, Layla! I was at summer camp, so I didn't get to read these until a few minutes ago. They were great!  Not much else to say, but Farnsworth was really funny.
Tom35

Crustacean
*
« Reply #167 on: 07-02-2005 16:54 »

This is getting too damn good. How long until you finish this?And how long is it now =o.

I loved the part with Hermes, and the numbers.  smile
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #168 on: 07-02-2005 21:16 »
« Last Edit on: 07-02-2005 21:16 »

It was all wonderful.  But how could you have Bender get Fry away only to have them captured again so quickly?  It's not fair.  : pout :

It's all involving and angsty and you're torturing me.  I love it, I want more. 

From a technical standpoint, I noticed two things that bugged me a little: Fry being referred to as "the redhead" is wearing out its welcome.  I know character tags are fun, especially when they present the opportunity for humor, but unless there's a specific purpose for it, it's better to go ahead and use the characters' names.  Like the word "said," the names slide by without bumping the readers' attention out of the story; character tags tend to create emotional distance - which is the last thing you want in an angsty story.  Seriously, everytime I read "the redhead" I get a picture of Fry from the outside..which is very disconcerting when you're writing from his P.O.V. and I'm thinking I'm inside his head.  And I doubt he'd think of himself as "the redhead" very often.

Sorry to pick nits, but that passage was so good, so involving and immediate, that it bothered me to be taken out of the narrative...

Which brings me to the other nit.  The "Robbie the Robot" digression, while amusing, seemed out of place here.  There's too much danger going on for backstory (especially backstory that isn't related to the present plotlines) to unroll, I think.  I was all tied up in knots over Fry and Bender and their situation and the Robbie bit seemed like an interruption.  Which is unfair to the Robbie backstory you came up with, it deserves to be enjoyed by readers who arn't chafing to get back to the characters they're worried about.  Again, it was taking attention away and pulling the readers out of the thrilling situation of jeopardy you'd created, and you don't want to do that.  Once you've got your readers by the lapels, don't let them relax.  Cutting the tension equals cutting the drama, and that's like cutting the blood supply from your story's body. 

Despite those couple of nits (minor specks of dust on a masterpiece, I assure you), it incredible.  You've totally got me into the "And then?!  And then?!" state of mind.  I cannot figure out what's going to happen, not even a little bit, and I'm usually very good at that.  You're good, kiddo.

P.S. - I thought the Celtic dress, and you, were adorable as well.  smile
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #169 on: 07-03-2005 09:44 »
« Last Edit on: 07-03-2005 09:44 »

Well, you were right when you said that this last section was funny. 'Cause, y'know, it was. There were some small things that bugged me (more on that later...I bet you're excited), but aside from those little nit-picky details, this was a great update.

On that whole "great update" note, here are some of my favorite bits...

 
Quote
The steadily rising numbers took on a harsh quality as a direct result of the sugar dissolving in the air.

I like that. You get to write this almost nauseatingly cutesy dialogue between Kif and Amy (and I assume that was the point), but then you acknowledge the fact that it was undeniably cutesy. Kind of like having your cake and eating it, too.

 
Quote
Leaning back against the wall, he began to sing the slightly edited words of an ancient hymn which had always comforted him in difficult times. “99 standard reduction-in-pay forms to be filed, 99 standard reduction in pay forms! Fry screwed up so his pay will be cut, 98 standard reduction-in-pay forms to be filed!”

It's funny, and very Hermes-like. 'Nuff said.

 
Quote
The benefits of Fry’s passivity, namely fewer wangs to the head, did not last long.

What was that you said about channeling JBERGES? (  wink) That line just sort of struck me as very Bergey-like. Eh, who cares where it came from? All that matters is it's funny.

 
Quote
“So,” Fry broke in when the staring had gone on long enough to make him highly uncomfortable, “about this end of the world thing?”

“Oh, yeah, that. I was lying.”

“Of course,” Fry nodded encouragingly, unfazed.”

“Well, not lying, exaggerating. The President-”

“Elvis?”

“No, he was ‘the King’,” Bender’s face briefly took on a faintly awed look through the miracle of technology. “The President-”

“John Wayne?”

“No, he was ‘the Duke, the Earth President-”

“Oh, Captain Kirk!”

“No!” Without looking back, Bender swatted Fry in exasperation. “Don’t be ridiculous, Fry. You can’t be a captain and a president.”

“Really? Why not?”

Bender rolled his optical circuits. “Don’t you remember? People versus the Captain Crunch for President Electoral Committee, case of 2998?”

Fry frowned, trying to remember, “Oh yeah, wasn’t there a football player involved in that somehow?” he asked hopefully.

Bender’s patience fuse for dealing with idiotic mammals blew out spectacularly. “Ow!” he moaned as a faint explosion echoed in his head. Bender rubbed it miserably, glaring poisonously at Fry. “Nevermind. Earth President-” Fry opened his mouth and again, without seeing, Bender raised a threatening hand. The delivery boy subsided. “-Nixon”

“Oh yeah, that guy.”

That may be my favorite part of this last update. It's fun toying with Fry's stupidity, isn't it? I mean, part of the reason why he's such a great character to write for is the fact that you can write him being extremely sweet and selfless, but then you get to degrade him to the lowest form imaginable by making him act like such a moron. It's fun, especially if you're a cruel person. (Um...not like I am or anything. No-sireee. *whistles nonchalantly*).

 
Quote
The two fugitives were dragged off to an unknown future accompanied my the immortal words, "Number forty-seven said to number three: You’re the cutest jailbird I ever did see. I sure would be delighted with your company. Come on and do the jailhouse rock with me!"

Stupid question: What made you decide to use "Jailhouse Rock" as Bender's "immortal words"? I know it's sort of trivial, but I was just wondering, because, whenever I make an allusion to a song or something in a fic, I spend more time than is necessary coming up with the funniest song or movie or pop-culture icon (Captain Crunch...tee, hee, hee) that I can think of.

Now, it's time for the Nit-Picky Moments of Anti-Goodness (for you, I mean).

1.) This is quite possibly the stupidest nit-pick ever, but I don't like Amy calling Zapp "Captain Brannigan". I mean, I know it's in the middle of this "love is so great" scene, and people are always so happy and proper and "La, la, la, ain't life swell?" in Love Is So Great scenes, but it's just that...well...when you're talking about such a moron (you know, Zapp), you usually don't refer to him with any respect whatsoever. I know I'm not making any sense, but it just doesn't seem right for Amy not to call Zapp, well, "Zapp". Just this sort of stupid "Gee, I pretend to be a writer, aren't I smart?" sort of nitpick, that you definitely don't have to regard in any sort of serious sense, if you'd like.

2.) I'm sort of inclined to agree with Shiny regarding the whole "Robbie the Robot" thing. Don't get me wrong, it's hilarious, but it just sort of draws you out of the whole "What's gonna happen to Fry and Bender now?" thing. I mean, you're so engrossed in the "real" story, and a digression like that sort of ruins the angst. It sucks that that happens, because that whole "Robbie the Robot" bit was one of the funniest parts of this last update. But, if you want to, y'know, remain true to your story (Bah, stupid priniciples!), you should consider cutting that part. Totally up to you, though.

And, finally (you knew it was coming, right?), those pictures were great. Totally dig the Celtic dress. And, as everyone else has mentioned (most notably one of the only guys reading your story at the moment, N-o-r  wink), you looked adorable in it.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this last update, for the most part. I'm always shocked at how someone can balance out angst, drama, and comedy so perfectly. Keep it up...

Edited, because, apparently, I can't spell.
 
Crash_7

Professor
*
« Reply #170 on: 07-03-2005 12:56 »

Another small nitpick that no one else seems to have noticed.  If my memory is working correctly, Robby was the robot from the movie, Forbidden Planet.  The robot from the TV show, Lost In Space, the "Danger, Will Robinson!" one, I don't think even had a name.  He was just called robot.
Nerd-o-rama

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #171 on: 07-03-2005 13:43 »

Wow.  I feel like a horrible previewer/beta editor/random commentator guy now.  I completely mixed those two up.

*Has watched one episode of Lost in Space, and heard of Forbidden Planet through a video game.*

Sorry.
say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #172 on: 07-04-2005 13:58 »

FZAAHHH YOU'RE SO CUTE!!  big grin And so is that dress!

I go to Canada a lot because my friend lives there... we go to camp together up in Montreal and always attend the first session, which happens to be around this time, so I'm always missing the 4th of July and I'm always there for Canada Day. It's fun, 'cause we sing the anthem and watch the counselors attempt to set off crappy fireworks over the lake. I didn't go this year though because I'm staying here to go to a writing program thing.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT MY LIFE STORY... let's talk about your Futurama story!

I LOVE IT!

I loved the cutesy wootsy Amy/Kif stuff, and I looooved the "ancient hymn" Hermes sang. It's so funny. I could sing it all day.

I can finally be not AS worried for Fry... at least he's awake now. Whew. Though don't get me wrong, I'm still worried! And I'm worried as hell about Leela too... God, it's like their my children or something... Bender was hilarious as usual. I especially loved this:

 
Quote
Originally posted by Layla50:
“Oh, you humans,” Bender growled contemptuously, “Always asking inane questions. ‘What’s going on? Where am I? Why are you doing this to me?’ On and on and on-”

It's hilari-harry. So was the whole President thing.

But now I'm scared... and worried... and blahblah... I don't know what's gonna happen so make me feel better and gimme some more soon please!
Meerkat

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #173 on: 07-06-2005 05:30 »

LOVE IT! Layla you are just so fantastic!!!! I love the part with Amy and Kif.
Meerkat

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #174 on: 07-06-2005 05:34 »

LOVE IT!!!!!

Layla you are so awesome! Great update!   smile
Love the part with Amy and Kif. Real cute!   love
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #175 on: 07-07-2005 16:22 »

Just a quick note since I have to head out for the third last performance. Sorry I haven't been around much. I'm taking a course now in addition to the Tattoo. I desperately want to sleep, but I'm having lots of fun all the same.

I'm almost dreading talking to the bands from Britain. I really hope none of them has lost someone to the terrorist attack. What a nightmare.  frown

I'll edit some personal responses on to this later, but let me just say thanks very much for all your support, no need for you to be sorry N-o-r, after all, I'm them one who tried to reference something from a show I've never seen after all. You're a great previewer/beta editor/random commentator guy.

To the cruel mean nit pickers who made me cry... just kidding of course! Honestly, I don't really get a lot of nitpicking and sometimes I wonder if people are, you know, just being nice. It's very reassuring of your honesty that you will tell me if I do mess up. I never realized the redhead thing was annoying and "Robbie" was a travesty, if a hilarious one.  wink

Thanks again, dears!
Crash_7

Professor
*
« Reply #176 on: 07-07-2005 16:27 »

Dang!  Now I've upset Layla.  I should have kept my nit-picking, science-fiction nerd pie-hole shut.   smile
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #177 on: 07-07-2005 22:01 »

Hey, I liked the travesty part.  Just not, you know, right in the middle of the angst.  It's like discovering a juicy, tender, savory, perfectly seasoned slice of beef in the middle of your triple-chocolate-mousse cake.  Nothing wrong with the beef, just not quite...in harmony with its surroundings.  wink

exit Shiny, overextended metaphors in tow....
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #178 on: 07-10-2005 23:10 »
« Last Edit on: 07-10-2005 23:10 »

Well, I’m back, and all caught up and ready to beta if needed.  I don’t have time for a huge review, but here are a few comments from the last 2 parts: 
Quote
But I haven’t got an interociter
No one else got this? *Laughs forever* “Are you boys cooking down there?!  No!  Are you making an interociter?!  ...No!”
Quote
“But what about Leela?” she gestured at her daughter.
Did you mean for Munda to ruin her lie this quickly after establishing it?
Quote
“Ooh! Ack! Stop! Plea-ahh! Ben! Derrouch!”
Writing garbled yelling is much harder than it appears.  This stuck out as being especially well done.
Quote
“Hey, buddy, I think you’ve lost weight since the coma.”
Sickeningly dark humor.  I love it.
Quote
“Oh, you humans,” Bender growled contemptuously, “Always asking inane questions. ‘What’s going on? Where am I? Why are you doing this to me?’ On and on and on-”
Another great line.
Quote
Bender brightened considerably, though not literally.
What about channeling me?  This line was like looking into a literary mirror.
Quote
Fragged
Ha.  You big dork.

All in all, wonderful.  I must agree that the "Robbie the Robot" part would be best left omitted.  Other than that, excellent writing, and great suspense with the cliffies.  Stop killing Leela’s parents!   tongue


------------------
Brevity is the soul of
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #179 on: 07-10-2005 23:31 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by JBERGES:
Stop killing Leela’s parents!

Yeah! What he said!
Philp_J_Fry

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #180 on: 07-14-2005 21:42 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
 Yeah! What he said!

Yeah! What she said!

Great work on the past few chapters. Sorry I haven't replied on any of them, I've been to busy. Anways, keep up the great work! Looking foward to reading some more chapters. I'll be sure to reply more often.
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #181 on: 07-17-2005 16:47 »


Originally posted by the oft quoted JBERGES:
 
Quote
Stop killing Leela’s parents!

(laughs evilly) Oh, okay then. No problem at all. (laughs really evilly, like Simpsons merchandisers) laff No more parent killing, gotcha.

So, an update on the updates... the way things are working out, the next update could be a while off, and it may very well be... (DUN DUN DUN!) the last! It'll be quite a long one, but to me it makes more sense to post it as one long chapter than to break it up. It's not all the way written yet though, so we'll see.


So anyway, personal replies! those are fun too, right? Right? Hello?

Pilp_J_Fry: You've been a really loyal review and I really appreciate it. Glad you're enjoying it.

Venus: I promise, no more killing Leela's parents... in this story anyway. Characters unfortunate enough to wander haplessly into my literary clutches are doomed to suffer however.

Er, and I'm reviewing you today! Then it's Nic and Gorky and a bunch of the fics that are getting posted lately. I'm making progress!

JBERGES: Sorry, sorry. The only thing not making me feel too guilty is that I know you're really busy right now. I'm still trying to organize the timeline before I send you off basically what's gonna happen for the rest of the story. On the other hand, that means we get to start the rewrite soon and I'll get to talk to you on the phone. (Bounces around in giddy and shy delight)

The interociter line was all about you, John and I am well pleased you caught it! "You have an interociter?!" "Sure, you mean you don't?"

Heh, fun.
 
Quote
Did you mean for Munda to ruin her lie this quickly after establishing it?

Er, not entirely? I'm not sure where I'm going with that whole hide Leela's identity. I suppose if I made up my mind then I wouldn't make mistakes like that.
Add it to the list of issues to be dealt with in rewrite.

Glad you liked the garbled yelling. You're right, it's not an easy thing. I played with that for a while.

Dark humour is the very best kind of humour, and in fact, I'm going somewhere with that little joke. Stay tuned!

You quoted my Gorky line, but I can definately see you writing this. Yay! That can only be a good sign. (And I liked the metaphorical literary mirror. wink)

Robbie will have his misnamed butt jetisoned into deep space, with extreme prejudice.

Cliffies are the spice of life.
 
Quote
You big dork.
Takes one to know one.
(By the by, I am very fond of your sig.)

Shiny: I don't know, when you put a metaphor on that many steroids doesn't it become an muscle-bound hair-sprouting  allegory?
In any case, you made me hungry.

So, I don't really mean to torture, but I can't say I don't get a sick thrill out of it. Heehee. Rest assured that I will remain paranoid about 'the redhead' for the rest of my natural life. Kidding, sort of.

Always using names gets hideously repetitive after a very long time, and pronouns can be confusing, so I tend to turn to character tags for variety. That said, you're completely right about the weirdness factor of having 'the redhead' in Fry's POV. POV is one of my many many targets in the rewrite. I jump all over the place and it's driving me crazy. Yes, I do annoy my own self. It's a talent.

Your opinions mean the world to me, thanks so much for all the support and help. (huggles)

Crash7: Well, I'm a very sensitive creature, you know. But after much therapy I've come to forgive your heartless cruelty. Doctor says soon I'll be able to go outside my cell for brief periods!
Thanks for the heads up about the name mixup, of course, now I want to add his distress about not having a name to the story.  wink

Meerkat: Thanks, dolly! I wasn't sure how Kif and Amy would go over, so I'm glad you liked it!

say what now: FZAAHHH is probably the funnest non-word you've given me to date, thank you! It's always awesome to talk to an American who's been up here, thought Montreal is about 14 hours away from me. How goes the writing program dealie?

Even when I'm making you laugh I'm worrying you. Maybe I should be handing out prozac with this story.  wink Thanks once again for reminding me about suspense. Trust me, there's none when you're the one writing it, except for wondering how people will react! (Worries)

N-o-r: Just another thanks for being such a great guy. I was well pleased by this:
 
Quote

Originally posted by Layls

Hope I didn't offend by the weirdness. You and JBERGES seem to be conspiring to make me happy girl.

Gorky: Glad you mostly liked that last update, dear. Your insightful comments are always helpful and a joy to read. I may well have unintentionally mimicked JBERGES with the 'wangs to the head' line, but there's no shame in that, eh?

Loved your thoughts on writing Fry. I completely agree. He seems quite simple on the surface, but I find him a very complex character, even if his goals in life aren't.
I think he needs balance anyway. He's not been himself for a long while, so now I'm trying to remind us why we love the guy.

Why Jailhouse Rock? Well,as much as I'd love to say I was being painfully clever, originally it was a place holder song that I meant to change to a better song. Then I realised I'd already made an Elvis reference, so it worked that way. Bender must know a bunch of prison-themed songs, being the scamp that he is. Maybe it was the prison theme song wherever he was incarcerated.

I agree with you though, that it takes forever to decide on references.

I agree with you about "Captain Brannigan". Bothered me when I wrote it, but I let it slide cause I'm lazy.

I sometimes forget that angst I'm writing is, in fact, angst. Consider Robbie axed, though I don't promise not to bring him back in a more light hearted fic.

I'm glad you liked the celtic dress (and think I'm adorable!  smile). It makes you feel at least 80% more girly.

Tom35:Aw, thanks a bunch! It's 108, 021 words and 192 pages. Scary, eh? Getting clo0se to the end, really!

Shippy Mandy: Welcome back, hope you had fun! Glad you liked the Professor.

Nic: Merci beaucoup! I didn't forget the part number, though. I left it out since that part was really a part of the last part.

I felt sorry for poor sore Fry too. I couldn't stop tormenting him just because he woke up. Heheh!

Now, to Venus! (Then to my essay, blecch.)
Nanoo, nanoo!
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #182 on: 07-17-2005 20:00 »
« Last Edit on: 07-17-2005 20:00 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Layla50:
On the other hand, that means we get to start the rewrite soon and I'll get to talk to you on the phone. (Bounces around in giddy and shy delight)


You're gonna talk fic over the phone?? Three way Three way!

Oh wow that came out wrong. I meant three way calling...
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #183 on: 07-17-2005 20:50 »

Heh, oops Venus. I know not the technological technicalities involved in such an endeavour, but I would be thrilled to bits to talk to you!
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #184 on: 07-17-2005 22:11 »
« Last Edit on: 07-17-2005 22:11 »

And the winner for favorite Freudian slip of the year goes to...   smile  wink

Venus, figure out the logistics and maybe it it'll happen.  Layla messes things up cause she’s in Canada.  I don’t get free nights and weekends to Canada!

 
Quote
"You have an interociter?!" "Sure, you mean you don't?"
"We can use it to get home"
"Oh... I was using it to make cocoa"

(Yes yes... we're both dorks...)
say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #185 on: 07-17-2005 22:13 »

Oh, my writing program is alright. A bit of a pain at times what with the getting up early and commuting, but mostly fun. I've actually got to write a scene from a play for tomorrow... and I am terribly unmotivated and would much rather read an update of yours (LAST ONE?!? *bawls*), or my Harry Potter book.

Oh, how I would LOVE to get phonecalls from extremely talented and cool people!
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #186 on: 07-18-2005 12:49 »

Oh, sure, JBERGES, blame the Canadian for living in Canada! That could be just as much Venus' fault as it is mine! Or Gorky's, or say what now's! I am shocked and appalled by your close minded reliance on stereotypes. Just because I'm Canadian doesn't mean I'm from Canada and currently living in Canada, geez man!

Sorry, I'll stop. I just read Gorky's poem, and your poetical rant and it seemed like fun is all.

Hey, some of my best friends are dorks, well, most of them, okay... all of them, except the ones who roll their eyes at me.
What was my point? Oh yeah, dork = fun, though it doesn't necessarily mean !dork =!fun. (Wonders if she's remembering the right symbols here. Help me computer nerds!)

say what now, you'd love to get phonecalls from talented and cool people? Oh... well, okay then. I'll just sit her in Canada and sulk for a while, I understand.  wink

Play writing can be fun. I wrote a play once about Judas and Jacob from the Bible cause I had too. But I got an A! May you be equally sucessful. I know how you feel though, I've got an essay due Wednesday that I really need to get done today but, here I am on PEEL watching the seconds of my life tick away. Let's go lament our fates somwhere, 'kay?

(Oh, and it's not my forever last one, just the last of this story. Won't that ease your nerves anyway? I seem to be giving the drug market quite a boost with this story.  wink)
say what now

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #187 on: 07-18-2005 15:02 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Layla50:
say what now, you'd love to get phonecalls from talented and cool people? Oh... well, okay then. I'll just sit her in Canada and sulk for a while, I understand.  wink

Hey! *bops the cool and talented person on the head- if that still needs to be clarified, this person goes by the name of LAYLA50*

What?! You're insane! I am not in a desperate need for your stories... I can go on without them... yep, don't need any kind of fix at all... no problems here *gulp*. So, when will these stories be, uh... hitting the *wince* market?

Oh, and I remember you saying something about a sequel before... that still happening?

Of course, I'm still perfectly self-sufficient without it and all... heh heh... ummm.
PJ

Crustacean
*
« Reply #188 on: 07-18-2005 15:09 »

eeerrrrrr.....xyz? so fry is awake now but leela is still unconscious this thing is kimda puilling a 180
.........cool.

and between that dress of yours(which is neat looking)and people getting mad about leela's parents dieing i have miss somethings here............stupid everything
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #189 on: 07-21-2005 23:00 »

Since I know many of you are just whiling away the hours until I post the last chapter of "Fry's Choice"  wink(I'm probably going to change that title actually, maybe just 'Choices'? Any opinions?), I thought I would post a teaser for the Zapp Brannigan one shot. It's tiny, sorry, but it shouldn't take long to finish and in the meantime I'll still be working on the big one.

Comments are always delighted in.

say what now: (Rubs sore but loved head) Glad to hear you're free of my nefarious influence. No, no, don't be silly, I'm not taking over the world. Butch, Sundance, I need you to "fix" ay-say at-whay ow-nay, onto-pray)

Yep, sequel still happening, but in the distant future. Up next after the Zapper is the story of Leela's prom. (Probably gonna be a long one.)

You're cute, though.  smile

PJ: xyz? (I is confused, er I mean the me that's I, not the I that's someone who's not me, I think.) I, whoever me am, don't mean to confuse you, well actually, I do, but in a fun way. Hopefully with the last chapter all will be made clear. Always nice to hear from you, bou-ya buddy!  smile


The Golden Age of Youthful Indiscretions

   “It was an auspicious day, Kif, one that shook the very foundation of the universe.”

In turns revered and reviled, depending on how well you knew him, Captain Zapp Brannigan slouched in his chair on the bridge of the Nimbus, basking in one of his moods. Miserable, yet faithful, Lieutenant Kif Kroker dutifully typed to the incessant droning of the captain’s words.

“On a thousand worlds, primitive shammies lifted their eyes to the stars and announced the beginning of a great and glorious era.”

Wordlessly, Kif corrected ‘shammies’ to shamen. A chance encounter with the Planet Express ship earlier in the day had led, as it always did, to a rough exchange of propositions and insults between Zapp and Captain Turanga Leela, a purpled haired cyclops, and friend to the lovely Amy Wong. Not that such conflicts were unusual on the Nimbus. Brannigan had an uncanny knack for bringing the worst out in anyone who was not in a position to advance his career.

“She was beautiful of course, graceful, seductive like cheap wine, and with boobies that said ‘ohhhhh.’”

Kif shivered nearly imperceptibly at the obscene groan. His treasured Amy had once asked about Zapp’s amazing success, made all the more astonishing for his gross incompetence. Some great mysteries could never be solved, Kif had answered her, but in Zapp’s case, he suspected phenomenal luck.

“My mother was hopelessly poor, but very noble, and Pappy could see beyond her simple clothes to the foxy woman under them.”

Zapp turned and frowned at him. “Are you getting this?” Kif nodded quickly, “Oh yes, sir. Every word.” The Captain nodded sharply, “Good.”

Luck was the most comforting and plausible explanation Kif could come up with for Brannigan’s continued surviving at all, let alone his popularity among the upper echelons of the DOOP fleet. More than a dozen times, Zapp had come out of dire situations unscathed when by rights he should have been crushed, shredded, or made into a delicious bouillon.

“Yes, it was true love, a passion that other, lesser beings,” Kif did not miss the mocking glance in his direction, “could only fantasize about, alone in their fantastically upholstered velour bed chambers, weeping and desperate, wondering why no woman would ever-”

Uh oh. With all the expertise of someone malicious enough to derail trains repeatedly, Kif derailed Zapp’s self-pitying train of thought. “Oh, it sounds very romantic, sir.” Startled, Zapp very nearly sat up straight. “Quiet Kif, I’m recounting the tale of a love that produced the greatest war hero in the history of the DOOP.” Unwilling to respond verbally, Kif idly typed a few extra letters then deleted them, prompting Zapp to continue the story.

“Ah, yes, they both knew right away the destiny was in the making. Still, mother knew how critical the thrill of the chase was to men like me and my pappy, so she played ‘hard to bed’ for more than a year.”

After a second’s consideration, Kif left the verbal typo as it was, suspecting there was a certain Freudian honesty to it.
-------------------------------------

I suspect I will one day be famous for disturbing sexual innuendos in my writing. Zoidberg/LaBarbara, Zapp's unhealthy fixation with his mother... and to think most people think I am sweet and innocent.
Nerd-o-rama

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #190 on: 07-21-2005 23:24 »

 
Quote
“She was beautiful of course, graceful, seductive like cheap wine, and with boobies that said ‘ohhhhh.’”
Even your horror/laughter-inducing descriptions are great.

Really, I think we all knew that the Zapper would have major Oedipus issues.  Any man that immature and objectificationable* of women probably has mommy issues.
 
Quote
Luck was the most comforting and plausible explanation Kif could come up with for Brannigan’s continued surviving at all, let alone his popularity among the upper echelons of the DOOP fleet. More than a dozen times, Zapp had come out of dire situations unscathed when by rights he should have been crushed, shredded, or made into a delicious bouillon.
Ah, to be a member of the British Commonwealth (the English and Canadians pwn us all in colorful description, if you haven't noticed.)  Such a delightful turn of phrase, and a perfect with Kif's viewpoint.  Something tells me he does a lot of cooking, too...I mean, look at Zapp.

*See, I can make up words too.  Seriously, I was expecting "shammies" to be a delightfully gag-inducing double entendre, but I can't seem to find a definition for it.  Also, I'm relatively certain that the plural of "shaman" is "shamans."
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #191 on: 07-21-2005 23:44 »

Well,  a shammy is a special kind of cloth, but I've heard 'shammies' as a euphemism for, if you'll forgive another euphemism, the 'family jewels'. I enjoyed very much your made up word. It's perfect for the women's studies course I'm enduring right now. (I think I'm going to have to get Kif cooking now, thanks bud!)

Ah, Oedipus, where we would be without your delightful misadventures?
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #192 on: 07-22-2005 00:27 »

"Chamois"?

Now that I've felt so inclined as to comment on in this thread about something as small as that word, I should probably comment on the considerable work that makes up the bulk of this discussion.

In an intensely stupid decision, I decided to pick up this story at the first update I found.  What didn't surprise me was that I had no idea what was going on that lead up to the escape you chronicled.  What did surprise me, and really it shouldn't have, was that I didn't care.  I was immediately hooked.  What really got me in sync with the story was the fact that as Fry is trying to reassemble his memories, I am trying to assemble mine for the first time.  It was a truly synergetic effect.

I also thoroughly enjoyed the self-serving, yet somehow self-depricating, glimpse into Zapp's life.  And I totally agree with Kif.  Unparalleld luck has to be the most likely explanation for oh so much.
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #193 on: 07-22-2005 06:38 »
« Last Edit on: 07-22-2005 06:38 »

'Fry's Choice' > 'Okla-coma!'

Less ridiculously, I think Fry's Choice is a better title than Choices, but I've yet to try to think of a title better than that.  You have plenty of time to change it if you so desire. 
 
Zapp's problem here may not be so much Oedipal as the fact that he can't help but find the beauty in any woman he sees.  Almost sounds like a good thing, eh?  Maybe not.

Anyways, I predict this Zapp story will be a lot of fun to read, but not nearly as fun as it is to write.

Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #194 on: 07-22-2005 08:31 »

I gotta agree with Bergey on the title. For some reason, "Fry's Choice" just seems to...I dunno...fit. "Choices" on the other hand, sounds like some strange '70s flick about...okay, I'll stop there. Believe me, you'll thank me for that later.

Anyway, this *shudders* teaser (I hate them so much...mostly 'cause they get me wanting more, which is good for you, but not-so-good for me) was absolutely hilarious.

This...

 
Quote
“My mother was hopelessly poor, but very noble, and Pappy could see beyond her simple clothes to the foxy woman under them.”

...was just great. Mostly because I'd be incredibly disturbed (more so, I mean) otherwise, I'm gonna go with JBERGES' theory on Zapp's, shall we say, uh...strange bond with his mommy.

Anyway, this story looks like it'll be awesome, mostly because you're so great at writing Zapp. (And, also, y'know, at writing in general.)

So, keep up the amazing work. Is there anything else I could say?
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #195 on: 07-22-2005 23:31 »

Despite my unadulterated (So, sans porn music I guess. Bokachikawow wow.) joy at your responses and the email I just got from my wonderful and punny beta, I am not a happy canuck.

My computer has been visited by the happy trojan (virus) faerie, yay. The good news, everybody, is that it can be fixed and I shouldn't lose anything (hyperventilates at thought of losing copious story notes).

The bad news is that I am cruelly cut off from my computer's hard drive for the weekend, which basically curtails my working on anything during a weekend I intended to do a lot. Bugger.

So, am I sending this post by way of smoke signals pouring out my ears? Nope! We have revived our old, crotchety, none too stable computer, permitting me to type things and post things provided I accept that "Farnsworth" (named for obvious reasons) is clearly in charge. (Yes, yes, you're a brilliant computer, don't delete this and I'll buy you a shiny new stick of RAM, oh my yes!)

I think it's just beyond kindness that some technically inclined miscreant decided to bless my day with this headache-inducing ray of sunshine. But on to my real ray of sunshine, you lovely people (miscreants though you may be. wink)

DrThunder:Are you really a doctor? 'Cause you are one bright guy. I've been enjoying the way you consistantly stymie me in that word game. Anyhoo, I'm inclined to accept chamois as the real name of the cloths teachers made us wipe the chalkboards with.

Nice to see you in here, anyway, and I'm delighted that you're hooked. I found the way you starting following this quite interesting, and that it resulted in synergism is an awesome, if unlooked for effect.

Glad you liked Zapp's story. I personally really love, in a hating kind of way, Zapp's character. I admit to playing with the idea of it being some sort of massive, ridiculously complex conspiracy, but since I'm keeeping this fic short, I'm sticking with an insane amount of luck. I just love the idea of him floating heedlessly from peril to peril unharmed while the aguished screams of those poor crewmen echo in the background. But I'm a sick, sick person.

JBERGES: 'Okla-coma'? Heh heh heh. You've got a rare gift my friend; don't hesitate to share it with the world. The consensus seems to be that the working title is working, so unless inspiration strikes, I'll take your advice. I think I've been looking at it for so long that I've developed an irrational hatred for various elements of the story.

You make a good point about Zapp. Such a generous nature would be a great thing, if he wasn't such an incredible sleaze bag. I still think, like N-o-r that there's mommy issues, but perhaps not in an Oedipidal way. If anyone's got some connection to Oedipus, it'd probably be Fry, well, in his case it's like Oedipus: The Next Generation.

Of course, you gave Zapp a memorable scene as a necrophiliac so...

I agree with your prediction, Bergey.

Gorky: Two great author's opinions, well, that settles it in my mind anyway, especially now that you bring up the 70's flicks. (Shudders)

You have no idea how satisfying it is to me to know you want more. It's sweet revenge anyway, for all the times you've done it for me.

It means a lot to me that you're enjoying my writing and I hope I can give my version of the Zapper's formative years in a style that keeps you smiling.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #196 on: 07-23-2005 00:01 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Layla50:
with boobies that said ‘ohhhhh.’”
 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA*gasp*HAHAHAHAHAHAHA*wheeze*HAHAHAHA!!!!!!
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #197 on: 07-23-2005 00:29 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by JBERGES:
Zapp's problem here may not be so much Oedipal as the fact that he can't help but find the beauty in any woman he sees.  Almost sounds like a good thing, eh?  Maybe not.

Zapp doesn't look for the beauty of the women he meets.  He looks for the vagina of the women he meets...also the boobies.

 
Quote
Originally posted by Layla50:
DrThunder:Are you really a doctor?

Yes.  My specialty is...compulsive lying.  Actually, word games are pretty much all I have going for me.  It makes me appear smarter online, of course, but the whole shammy/chamois/shamma-lama-ding-dong thing is just me being pretensious (and playing word games).

Seriously though, I'm digging up your old thread now to find how the story begins.
becky

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #198 on: 07-24-2005 17:44 »
« Last Edit on: 07-24-2005 17:44 »

Like DrThunder, I also dug up your old thread. I had to catch up, and read most of it yesterday, finishing today when I read the latest part. It's still brilliant, I never stopped reading, I've just been gone.

THANK GOD FRY'S BACK. But now there's another character I'm really concerned about. Damn the suspense, (which I have a love/hate relationship to)!
Man, this story has it all. Really. Action, excitement, metaphors, shippyness for the hopeless shipper and a WAR!   big grin I'm happy to tell you I'm a fan of all those things.

Too bad about your computer, I pity the people creating viruses/trojans for other peoples torment. I hope it gets back online soon.
Boltzmann_Fan

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #199 on: 07-24-2005 18:18 »

Layla, I just spent the last three days reading "Fry's Choice" from the beginning.  I figured, oh, I'll just read a little...but I sorely underestimated how masterfully addictive it would be.  But I figured since it's already 20 pages on one thread, and 5 pages on another, by the time I get through it all, the story will be finished, and I can just sit back and have my sweet sweet closure.  Oh how wrong I was!!!  And now I have to wait with the rest of these captivated folks for the ending.
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