Futurama   Planet Express Employee Lounge
The Futurama Message Board

Design and Support by Can't get enough Futurama
Help Search Futurama chat Login Register

PEEL - The Futurama Message Board    Melllvar's Erotic Friend Fiction    Venus crawls out from under her rock « previous next »
 Topic locked! 
Author Topic: Venus crawls out from under her rock  (Read 16531 times)
Pages: 1 ... 10 11 12 [13] 14 15 16 ... 21 Print
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #480 on: 12-13-2005 09:17 »

i'm more worried about the 'out of character' part. I was trying to keep them in character.
Ralph Snart

Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #481 on: 12-13-2005 09:56 »

Even the staff writers would bend the characters to fit their needs.  There were times that they let Leela drop her guard and be friendly with other people; there were times that they made Fry seem something more than a moron.  There were eps where Bender did things to benefit others that endangered him.

I think that you did a great job with your story.  It was good technically, it was in-character for most (if not all) the story.

For what my opinion is worth, you did good.  What greater compiment can a writer get than knowing that otheres are waiting for the next installment?  If your story was not good, people would not be reading it.

Cut yourself some slack and give yourself a break - you deserve it.  You did a great job.

Writing and being creative is difficult.  You did a great job, and it's difficult to think that this is your first fic - it seems that you have much more experience in writing by reading how well it flows.


Okay you cunts, let's see what you can do now.
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #482 on: 12-13-2005 13:03 »

Yeah Venus, Ralph's right! I've learn from experience that you can't please everyone on this planet! Whatever you do, there will always be someone unhappy about it.

But for me, I must say that your story is maybe the best Futurama "in character/fitting in the serie time line" fanfic that I ever read! I can't wait to see how you'll end it. I think that you wrote Fry emotions very well during Leela's coma. Fry is not the stupid guy everyone thinks he is. We did not see in the episode how things happened around Leela but I think that your version of it is very close to what happened.

Also don't forget that its YOUR story so if you like how you wrote it so far, keep writing it the same way! I'm behind you and I'm sure that of lot of your readers are with you too.

Don't give up Venus. Like someone once said: “Please don't stop... I want to see how it ends!” (Leela to Fry at the end of the last Futurama episode)

Keep it up Venus.


David A

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #483 on: 12-13-2005 15:22 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Ralph Snart:
Even the staff writers would bend the characters to fit their needs.  There were times that they let Leela drop her guard and be friendly with other people; there were times that they made Fry seem something more than a moron.  There were eps where Bender did things to benefit others that endangered him.

Those aren't examples of 'out of character' writing.  Those are examples of the characters having depth.  Leela is only human; sometimes she does let her guard down.  Even Bender isn't completely self-centered.  And Fry is something more than a moron.

@Venus: It's difficult to answer the question of whether you've written the characters 'out of character' or not, because your story puts the characters in situations that we haven't really seen them in on the show.  I can't really think of anything in your story that someone could point to as an example of something that a particular character wouldn't ever do or say.  Personally, I think you've got Bender down perfectly.

Speak softly. Drive a Sherman tank.
Crash_7

Professor
*
« Reply #484 on: 12-13-2005 19:21 »

You're doing fine, Venus.  Your characters are fine the way you're portraying them.  I think they might seem out of character to some simply because this isn't comedy and the show is. 
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #485 on: 12-13-2005 22:02 »

great update Venus!  Yeah, the characters are slightly different than the way they are in the series, but its perfectly fine considering the seriousness of your story.  I dont have time for a real review now, but I'll get around to it when I can.  Please keep the updates coming!
Tokash

Crustacean
*
« Reply #486 on: 12-15-2005 14:08 »

So another story for me to explore on PEEL...

Venus is my next victi...er, author.

Well holy criminy cows!  Do you realize it's taking me over a week to read this fanfic, and that was skipping over all the reviews in between?  Of course it's because I can only spend about 10-15 minutes a day online, but I'm not skimming (the story that is).  In fact, I am going back to read and reread certain parts and sections.

For those of you who may have read my first fanfic, you may think this isn't a style I could appreciate (hey, I see you back there melodramatically gagging...cut that out!).  And quite honestly, it's not something I would write (or could if I tried), but it's definitely something I could enjoy.

Venus, I must say you have an extremely eloquent writing style.  Not many people can reach into a character's soul and express every nuance of mental and emotional detail of what they're thinking and going through.  I feel like mentally you are literally putting yourself into their world, acting out the scenes to yourself in your own mind, asking yourself what you would do or what a typical human response would be in such a situation and then apply that in a way that fits the pre-defined personalities of the series.  Of course, it doesn't always fit and that's where you may get some people pulling the "out of character" card.  Your very writing style is "out of character" with the way Futurama is presented to us in its visual format.  But that's because this is your style of telling the story and not Patric M. Verrone's 22 minute visual format to which he was constrained.

What I really like about your talent is your ability to take Futurama to a different level.  The way you present the characters, their situations, and their inner thoughts transcends their pre-defined world.  You fill in the gaps that the series creates and that are left up to the viewers to try and decipher with plausible explanations and scenarios.  You meticulously cover in great detail every narrative contingency.

Of course, this can have a positive or negative affect on the viewer/reader depending on their interpretations of the original series. Negative in the way that since the story leaves so many gaps and you are taking great liberties of bridging them, those gaps may be filled in a disagreeable way than the reader/viewer originally had perceived.  For those people who are purists and can allow no flexibility to the pre-defined boundaries that the series creates, this can be blasphemy.  It is positive for those who aren't purists and who can appreciate a different approach to the series.  Many people are looking for another view of the Futurama world and not necessarily THE view.  And fanfics like this take them there.

With a different style comes a different audience.  You'll lose some and gain others.  I learned this from my own fanfic release where I got mixed reviews.  Much the same way where I took the lowbrow humor of Futurama to the extreme, you've taken the shippiness of it to the extreme.  Shippiness is, of course, much more agreeable than constant sexual banter so you retain most of the base audience.  The reason why I bring up the topic of different writing styles is that I noticed in a few of the review responses, you would stay stuff like, "I failed....”  And this was always only because your writing style is different than the way the original series is portrayed and people were just noting these differences.  You aren't limited to visuals and dialogue and a 22 minute time limit and you take great advantage in the written word that the series could never hope to employ.

This story is so well written that as I combed the reviews from others, I didn't see anyone complaining about anything major.  As far as legitimate critiques, all I observed were minor nit-picks and personal interpretations because that's all that could be found.  The only thing I noticed that I had to chuckle to myself about was something similar I was pointing out to soylentOrange in his fic; the use of "had had".  There was one sequence of sentences where you used the word "had" 15 times in 5 sentences.  It was perfectly legitimate, though.  I couldn't have thought of a better way to describe the situation.  You blend it in all so well with your descriptive style that it goes unnoticed, exemplifying your skill of good writing technique.  I guess I notice cuz I'm just anal that way.

You've written a fantastic story here, Venus.  My hat’s off to you and your incredible literary abilities.  I'm eagerly looking forward to the rest of your genius.
Zaij

Poppler
*
« Reply #487 on: 12-17-2005 03:12 »

Venus: More. Now.
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #488 on: 12-17-2005 09:57 »
« Last Edit on: 12-17-2005 09:57 »

@Tokash:  I did some research into the 'had had' thing.  It seems that, although you must be careful how you use the phrase, it is alright to do so.  In a phrase like "We had had that car for ten years before it broke down", the first 'had' denotes that we are in past perfect tense.  The second had is a verb, which, in this case, takes the form of a past participle.
Arkan

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #489 on: 12-17-2005 18:46 »

Yeah, sO, that's what I always thought. It sounds a bit strange but it's fine. English is such a weird language  smile
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #490 on: 12-18-2005 16:30 »

Oh, crap! I'm so sorry I've not been on, Venus...I've been preoccupied with other things (watching webtoons, mostly...).

Anyhoo, I loved this chapter, as usual. And really, I don't think they're acting too out of character. I've read MUCH more OOC fanfics than this one that somehow managed to get excellent reviews. (Not Futurama ones, but I think my point stands.) In any case, I think you've been keeping Fry and Leela pretty much in character.

I am the Bacon Man!
Tokash

Crustacean
*
« Reply #491 on: 12-18-2005 21:34 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by soylentOrange:@Tokash:  It seems that, although you must be careful how you use the phrase, it is alright to do so.
Yes, this is true.  I never said it was wrong to use it.  It's just my point of view that it can appear repetitious.  Most people, it seems, don't mind either way.  So, I'll put a sock in it.  smile
Zaij

Poppler
*
« Reply #492 on: 12-21-2005 06:06 »

Please Venus. It's like, more than 2 weeks since the last update. I'm begging you, don't leave us hanging like this. I'm dying for another chapter.
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #493 on: 12-21-2005 12:45 »

Things do look like they've happened faster if you go through this thread and don't look at the post dates, Zaij, but you'll have to learn that you have to wait.
Ralph Snart

Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #494 on: 12-21-2005 14:16 »

Being creative isn't an 8-5 job.  It comes in waves.  Sometimes several ideas come at once, other times 'writer's block' happens and creativity slows or ceases.

Venus has high standards for herself and her stories.  She will not publish something she feels is substandard just to be publishing something.  It has to feel 'right' to her before she will even submit it to her beta.

Patience.  Venus has a life outside of writing her fic.  Little things like work, dating, family and her kitties take up a lot of time.  Plus it's the holiday season; I'm sure that she, like everybody else, has more things to do in a short amount of time.

The wait just makes you appreciate the next chapter even more.

Okay you cunts, let's see what you can do now.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #495 on: 12-21-2005 14:32 »

dating, yeah right. I live at work. I work at a mall and it's december. I havn't had a day off in 2 weeks and it will be another 1 week before i'll get one. I'm still writing, it's just slow going.
Ralph Snart

Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #496 on: 12-21-2005 14:52 »

I know where you're coming from.  The second job that I have (working in a small Trauma ICU) has called me every night for the past 5 days - people drink more and of course we have black ice on the roads.  I've worked two extra 8-hour shifts this week already.

Ah, the silly season.  Makes you wake up on New Years Day and say, "Thank God the holidays are over!"

To Venus and all other PEEL'ers burning the candle at both ends during the holiday season - take care of yourselves and leave time for you.

Ralph 'Public Service Announcement' Snart   cool

Okay you cunts, let's see what you can do now.
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #497 on: 12-23-2005 16:08 »

First off: I'm not dead and the hicks didn't get me.  I live in Houston, which is sort of Texas's version of New York and/or L.A.  What this means is that there's more...um...non-urbanite types around than you'd find in those two coastal anchor cities, but not nearly as many as Dallas...or Tulsa, Oklahoma (now THAT's an overgrown hick town).

I've just been very busy with house stuff and Christmas stuff and, well, stuff.  I may have to take other hiatuses (hiati?) but hopefully I can keep them shorter than the last one.

Now then....

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
Don't hurry too quickly. Seems i may have jumped the shark.


Pish-tosh, you have not.  You haven't even baby-stepped over a puddle with a dying guppy in it.  Just...put down the champagan and let's talk.

Now, as the past controversy over my, er, youth-challenged chronological state may tell you, I've been around (and been writing/reading fanfic) for some annoyingly double-digit number of years (not as many as the Ralphman, but enough).  I'm gonna tell you a few things I've learned.

NO characterization that strays farther than a nanometer or two from the show is going to strike everyone as "in character."  That's just the nature of the beast.  In fact, many times the show itself strikes people as "out of character," even when the show (like Futurama) has the benefit of executive producers & directors that have actual creative control and care enough about the characters to use it.  (Bender in "Devil's Hands," anyone?)

This is because of the fans, not the writers.  The fact is that fans watching or reading a show make interpretations, extrapolating from what they see to form abstract ideas about the characters.  This is fine.  But, humans being what they are, they start to get fond of their own ideas until they start to regard their guesses and extrapolations as being canon rather than just being based on canon.  Then they read work by a writer whose interpretations differ and...well, there ya go.

The fact is that human beings all share similarities based on our biology and brain structure, so there are many experiences we have in common with each other...but within those broad similarities, the specifics are infinitely variable. 

Any human emotion can have dozens, if not hundreds, of variations.  That is why hundreds of millions of people can love, say, the Harry Potter books so very much.  Many people identify with Harry, Ron, and  Hermione, but do you think they all identify with the same Harry, Ron, and Hermione?  Do you think more than a few identify with the characters that JK Rowling actually envisions?  Or even SEE the same characters she sees?

Of course not.  If they did, then one character could NEVER appeal to hundreds of millions of people.  No one personality type could possibly touch something in that many people - the character would only touch those who were almost exactly like him or her.

When we see a character we care about, we are seeing something of ourselves in the character.  And "ourselves" are a bunch of highly varied individuals.  We HAVE to potentially be able to see a great many different things in one character with one set of actions or we could never find enough bits of ourselves in it to properly connect.

When you write something where the situation varies even a little from what we've directly seen on the show, the best that you can hope for is that most of your readers will find it in character.  And when you write something that pushes the envelope significantly (as you are), the best that you can hope for is that the writers whose work YOU like best end up liking what you write. 

Does that help any?

If not, let me assure you...I don't think you're out of character.  I might have already said that Fry strikes me as being a little too "hard," at times in this story, a little harsher than I think of him, but that's just because of what I have extrapolated from the show. In my heart I know that Fry has been "hard" before - resentful of Bender in the "werecar" episode, his feud with Gunther at Mars U., his getting "tough" in "Homeworld" trying to help Leela.  The way you've written him strikes me as "in character" even if it doesn't entirely strike me as "MY Fry." He's not my Fry, he's your Fry.  But he's still Fry

That's as it should be - I should be shown things, and ways of seeing, that I haven't encountered before when reading another writer's stuff.  That's what makes a writer good, in my opinion.  Others' mileage may vary.  Many think a writer from which they encounter nothing[i/] new is a "good writer."  Hey, whatever works for them. 

As I said, humans are infinitely variable.

Now...for what it's worth, I think Fry is in character here...and I think Leela is more than in character, doing just what she does whenever Fry succeeds in impressing her.  In my opinion, if the sweet words and the kiss she gave him at the end of "Mainframe" was in character, then your near-kiss-experience here is in character. 

I love Fry trying to not get kicked out, and failing.  I love Leela's thoughts about him and how she feels and how he feels and what she doesn't know about what she thinks about how they both feel.  I love the N.K.E.  I love it ALL, and if I thought it needed more editing, I'd have spent my time doing that instead of lecturing you.  As it is, just let me say...

WOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOO!  Hooray!  And it's turned out to be a Merry Christmas after all!

Shiny
Ralph Snart

Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #498 on: 12-28-2005 13:01 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Shiny:

I've been around (and been writing/reading fanfic) for some annoyingly double-digit number of years (not as many as the Ralphman, but enough...

HEY!  It's not fun being the second oldest person on the board (Ol' Coot has a couple of years on me).

Actually, I'm freaking happy to have made it this many years.

Shiny - that was a very nice post to Venus that all writers can take to heart.  There are always going to be variations of the characters, but most of the time the writers of the fics keep the characters 'in character'.

A super-intelligent Fry, or a sexually wanton Leela would be out of character.  A Fry that has occasional flashes of brilliance (or insight) and a Leela that would have a night of passionate sex are acceptable, because both have been shown in canon.  We can take those examples and build on them to add to the characters personalities.

That said, I think that Venus has done quite well with her first fic.

Now when is Shiny going to give us an update?   love

Okay you cunts, let's see what you can do now.
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« Reply #499 on: 12-28-2005 13:15 »

Have I read your last update Shiny? No I don't think I have. I've been hanging around this thread reading posts and stuff. But I do love what you had to say. Interesting thoughts I found them and they've made me think. I feel kind of bad for my past couple of posts and feel as though I should apologize. Venus's story actually reminds me of Layla's story. And I love Layla. That of course doesn't make me a better writer, just a reader. But it's stories like this that incourage me to write more stories.

I am however worried about Gorky. It's been a month and I think she died. She scares me when this happens.
 
Anyway I'm sorry if my posts have been aggressive and rude but I really do like the story Venus. Keep it up.  smile
electric

Crustacean
*
« Reply #500 on: 12-29-2005 17:58 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Shiny:
NO characterization that strays farther than a nanometer or two from the show is going to strike everyone as "in character."   
Very good point.

The thing is, you can't please everyone, because every person thinks differently. It's just an aspect of human nature, blah blah blah. Venus, the Fry of your story occasionally strikes me as being a little bit over the top, but that doesn't mean that everyone feels that way.

And even though I personally feel that way, it doesn't affect my reading and enjoyment of your story. It would never pass off as an episode of Futurama, but I know that isn't your intention. It seems to me to be more of an in depth interpretative story. And like I said earlier, it's one of the best I've read! I hope you keep writing and posting updates aplenty.  smile
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #501 on: 01-11-2006 01:03 »

Like a shadow in the night...*trips and falls*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taco Bellevue Hospital, room 413
1:06 pm
Recovery: Day 2


“You’re letting me win.”

“Am not!”

Leela pointed to the checker board. “No one would make that move accidentally. You just sacrificed like eight guys. Stop letting me win.”

“Maybe you’re just a better player than I am.” Fry argued, but the guilty look on his face gave him away.

Leela raised an annoyed eyebrow at him. “I am not five years old Fry. You don’t have to let me win just because I’m in the hospital. I am more than capable of kicking your ass without your help.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

“You’re on!”

“Loser eats my hospital jello.”

Fry’s confidence seemed to fade. “That’s just playing dirty.”

“Well if you don’t think you can handle it….” Leela trailed off haughtily, thoroughly enjoying herself.

His competitive side kicking in Fry rose to her bait. “Fine. Loser eats the weird creepy jello.”

The pair reset the board and settled into the new round. And with Fry putting an honest effort into it it wound up being a very close match. Which Leela still managed to win.

Fry pouted. “Best two outta three?”

“I don’t think so.” She responded smugly. 

“Oh come on I-” Fry was cut off as the door opened and Dr. Marsters entered the room with a handful of paperwork.

Fry pointed at Leela accusingly. “She’s trying to pawn off her jello!”

Outraged Leela smacked him in the back of the head with a well-aimed checker piece.

The doctor raised an eyebrow at her. “You should really eat that Leela. It’s got vitamins.”

“So does the table but you don’t see me eating it.”

He laughed good-naturedly. “Your toxicology reports came back this morning. It seems that there is still a significant amount of bee-venom present in your bloodstream.”

Alarmed, Leela sat up a little straighter. Fry clamped his hands together to prevent them from trembling.

“It’s breaking down, so it’s no longer as potent, but it’s still something for us to keep our eye on. Also your T-cell count is very low which leaves you susceptible to infection-”

Fry covered his mouth with his hands and scooted his chair back afraid to breathe on her. Leela gave him a weird look.

“-so I’m gonna have you started on antibiotics which means we won’t be taking your I.V. out tonight. Your blood pressure is also higher than I would really like it to be.”

“It’s always been high.” Leela interrupted.

“Stress related, I know.” Dr. Marsters continued. “I’ve read the reports of your past physicals. But your pressure is high. Even for you. You’re not quite in the danger zone yet but you’re not far from it. 

“…So basically what you’re saying is?”

“We’ll be keeping you here a few more days.”

Leela’s shoulders slumped. “Crud.”   

“It’s in your-”

“Best interest, yeah I know.”

Dr. Marsters smiled kindly at her. “You two take it easy. Someone will be by to check on you in a little bit…and eat your jello.”

After he had left Leela sighed and turned towards Fry. He was still scooted back with his hands clamped over his mouth.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I donph wama gibe you my germphs.” He whimpered his voice muffled.

Leela rolled her eye. “You’ve been sitting by my side for two solid weeks, anything you have I’ve already been exposed to.”

Fry looked horrified and whimpered harder.

“Oh stop it. You’re not going to make me sick.”

“But if I do and you die it’ll be all my fault.” He confessed, bringing his hands far enough from his face to speak clearly.

“I’m not going to get sick.” Leela asserted firmly. “And even if I did, there’s no better place for it to happen than right here. So don’t worry about it.”

Fry really didn’t look convinced, but knowing if he annoyed her badly enough she might kick him out he lowered his hands and inched his chair a little closer to her.

“I just want you to be safe.” He said softly.


Residence of Turanga Morris & Munda
4:22 pm
Recovery: Day 2


“Uhh…Munda…what are you doing?”  Morris stood in the doorway separating the living room and kitchen staring in bewilderment at the lower half of his wife which was currently all that was visible of her from underneath the coffee table. 

“I’m cleaning what does it look like?”

“Why?”

“I want everything to be ready for when Leela comes home.”

Morris frowned, confused. “First off they’re not going to let her go for at least another couple of days, and second she’s stayed with us before and never noticed or cared if it was dusty underneath the coffee table.”

Munda finally poked her head out from under the table. “It’s better for her if she goes from one sterile environment to another.”

“So your plan is for you to clean nonstop until she comes?”

“No. My plan is for us to clean nonstop until she comes. So pick a surface and a disinfectant and get busy.”

“Then what are we going to do once we run out of things to clean?”

“Start over at the beginning. I don’t want so much as a single dust bunny anywhere in this house by the time she gets here. Which reminds me, could you bathe the pets?”

Almost on cue Nibbler and Muffin leapt off the couch and bolted in separate directions. Morris sighed and walked off to find the pet shampoo grumbling to himself all the while.


Taco Bellevue Hospital, room 413
6:27 pm
Recovery: Day 2


The silence was awkward. Which Leela found very irritating. Being confined to her bed for the past two days had left her cranky and with zero patience. As a result she had begun to get snappy and stand-offish. And right now her general annoyance was aimed directly at Amy who was currently her only companion.

“So. How did you get roped into baby-sitting duty?”  She demanded.

“I’m not on baby-sitting duty.” Amy replied cautiously.

Leela scowled. “You’re only here because Fry wanted someone to watch me while he picked up dinner.”

“That’s not true!”

“I assume he’s not paying you. Did he beg?”

“Maybe I’m here ‘cause I want to be.”

Leela scoffed. “Yeah right, when have we ever purposely spent time together?”

Amy looked down at the floor guiltily. “Maybe that’s something I’m trying to fix.”

Now Leela just looked confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I don’t like that we don’t really get along. And I know it’s mostly my fault that we don’t causa’ me being kinda mean and stuff and I-”

“Whoa, whoa, wait.” Leela held her hands up. “Are you…apologizing to me?”

“Well…yeah.” Amy admitted looking pained. “I’ve been a total spleaze-ball and I’m sorry.”

Leela didn’t know which she was more, incredulous or indignant. She chose to go with indignant. “I don’t believe this!” She raged. “One near death experience and suddenly everyone is tiptoeing around me, or trying to make amends. Fry is too terrified to leave me unattended. It’s like everyone is expecting me to just drop dead at any moment! I don’t want to be treated any different. Nothing has changed! I’m still alive, I didn’t die, I’m not going to die, so everyone can just back off!” 

Amy stared at her in surprise. “So…you’re accepting my apology…or what?”

Leela sighed. “Yes, fine, apology accepted, consider your conscience relieved.”

Amy brightened. “This is so great! We can be, like, shopping buddies, and do makeovers and stuff!”

“Subtle Amy, real subtle.”

Amy was puzzled. “Sp’luh?”

Leela raised her eyebrow. “I’m assuming I’d be the one getting the makeover?”

“Well, globviously! I’m cute enough as it is, I don’t need the extra help.”

“And here I was worried about things changing…” Leela muttered irritated under her breath.

“Hope everyone’s hungry!” Announced a voice from the doorway. It was Fry. He approached the table at the foot of the bed and began sorting through the various bags he had been carrying.

“That doesn’t look like hospital food.” Leela observed with interest.

“That’s ‘cause it’s not.” Fry confirmed. “I smuggled in take-out.”

Leela’s face lit up as Fry pulled a cup out of the beverage carrier. “Coffee?” She asked hopefully.

“For Amy. You’re not allowed to have caffeine.”  He answered sheepishly.

Leela moaned and leaned heavily against her pillow. “Oh someone just kill me now…”

She immediately regretted her choice of words when she saw Fry’s stricken expression. He shuffled awkwardly for a moment and then grimly went back to doling out the little take-out boxes. She accepted hers silently, with no further comment. Amy could feel the tension in the room but had no idea what was going on. She looked back and forth between the two of them in confusion but no explanation was forthcoming. So she gave a light shrug and began eating.

The silence continued throughout the rest of dinner until Amy finally stood up and picked her purse up off of the floor. “I got a paper due tomorrow, so I’m gonna go and leave you two alone to do whatever it is you two do when you’re alone. Have fun.”  She gave them a suggestive wink before walking out the door. Leela started to gather the empty cartons together but when she moved to get out of bed to throw them away Fry intercepted her. Taking the trash from her he still refused to look her in the eye.

“Come on Fry, it’s an expression. It’s just something people say it’s not like I meant it.”

“You shouldn’t joke about stuff like that Leela. It’s not funny.”

“It wasn’t a joke really,” She observed thoughtfully. “It was more like sarcas-”

“I don’t care what it was.” Fry interrupted. “I never want to hear you say anything like it again.”

Not wanting to argue Leela backed down. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

Fry nodded and allowed himself to relax. “Alright. Just don’t say stuff like that any more, it really bugs me, okay?”
   
“I won’t. I promise.”

The silence between them became more companionable as Fry tossed the trash he had collected into the wastebasket and took his usual seat by Leela’s side.

“Leela, can I ask you something?” He asked after a few minutes.

“I guess so.”

“I know it was years ago and stuff, but why did you tell the doctors you didn’t want to be on life support for longer than three days?”

“It seemed like a waste.” She answered simply.

“What do you mean ‘a waste’?” Fry demanded.

“I mean, if I was going to survive the doctors would know within the first three days. The only point in keeping someone on life support longer than that is for the sake of the persons loved ones. And at the time I didn’t have any loved ones. And it just seemed like a waste to focus so much time and resources on someone who no one would notice or care if they weren‘t around.”

Fry frowned at her. “That’s really depressing.”

Leela shook her head. “Not depressing. Realistic.”

“But you’re alive now and you were on life support for a whole week. If they had pulled it when you wanted you definitely would have died.”

She shrugged. “So my theory wasn’t one-hundred percent. But it didn’t matter. I was alone. And if I was hurt bad enough to be on life support, I’d therefore have been unconscious and completely unaware of if I died or not. So it wasn’t like I would be depriving myself of anything. I wouldn’t know one way or the other.”

“You don’t know that. You don’t know what it feels like to be dead.”

“Don’t I? According to you I ‘died’ in the ambulance long enough for them to use the defibrillator on me three times. And I have absolutely no memory of it. No white light, no tunnels, nothing. It might as well have never happened.”

“Maybe you just weren’t dead long enough.”

“Does it really matter? The point is kinda moot now anyway.”

“I just can’t believe you’d be willing to give up on yourself like that. It doesn’t sound like you at all.”

“You don’t know me as well as you think you do.” Leela answered with a raised eyebrow.

“I know you better than you think I do.” He retorted. 

Leela chose not to comment. It would probably just lead to an argument. “In any case,” She continued. “I was twenty-three, all alone, I’d been in a nearly fatal accident and no-one cared. Made it kinda hard to be optimistic.”

“What happened?”

“Hit and run. I was walking home one night and some drunk who was going way to fast jumped the curb and hit me.”

Fry cringed. “Ouch.”

“Tell me about it. I was thrown almost thirty feet.” She continued. “My body took out a pedestrian crossing sign. According to witnesses it was quite spectacular. Evidently I bled like a shot dog all over the-”

“Aaaahhhhh! That’s enough!” Fry shrieked, covering his ears with his palms. “I don’t need details!”

Leela smiled mischievously. “Wanna see the scar?”

“Not particularly.” he whimpered weakly.

“Wuss.”

“Yes!”   
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #502 on: 01-11-2006 02:00 »

Wow cool you wrote a new part!
But it's too late right now for me to read it.
I'll read it first thing in the morning Venus.
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #503 on: 01-11-2006 08:24 »
« Last Edit on: 01-11-2006 08:24 »

Squeeeeeeee!

(reads)

Awwws all around.  An excellent transitional section.

 
Quote
"...I am more than capable of kicking your ass without your help."

Oooo, ten points of excellence for classic Futuramaesqe dialog.  Also loved Fry squealing immediately to the doctor about the jello and Leela beaning him with a checker.

 
Quote
"So your plan is for you to clean nonstop until she comes?”

"No. My plan is for us to clean nonstop until she comes. So pick a surface and a disinfectant and get busy."

Heh.  I suppose it's politically incorrect, but I kind of love that sort of marital exchange.  Go, Munda!

Though it seems to me that Morris might reflect momentarily on the irony of trying to create a sterile environment in the sewer...

And I'm glad Nibbler and Muffin are getting along.  (Am I the only one who was unreasonably horrified at the "Nibbler loved to eat puppies" line in "Second That Emotion?"  I wanted to "fix" that bit almost as much as I wanted to "fix" the end of "Jurassic Bark," but so far I have gritted my teeth and restrained myself. )

 
Quote
Amy stared at her in surprise. "So...you’re accepting my apology...or what?"

 laff Perfect.  The whole Leela and Amy thing is just right.

 
Quote
Leela smiled mischievously. "Wanna see the scar?"

"Not particularly." he whimpered weakly.

"Wuss."

"Yes!"

Hah!  I bet that's the only time Fry ever turns down an offer to see a seldom-revealed part of Leela, and it's the perfect mood-lightener after the serious bit.  During which I loved Leela's matter-of-factness and Fry's uncomprehending horrified reaction.


As I said, an excellent transitional section.  And those really are a bitch to write, aren't they?  (Don't ask me how I know. *grumble, grouch* )

Shiny
SpaceCase

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #504 on: 01-11-2006 11:36 »

Glad to see you updating again!
Glad to see you period.  big grin
Ralph Snart

Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #505 on: 01-11-2006 13:02 »

Good update.  I'm glad that the writers block went away.

I'm glad to see that Leela backed off even though she's irritated and ready for a fight.

So is Fry going to be the only person that she has 'shared' her scar with?

Okay you cunts, let's see what you can do now.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #506 on: 01-11-2006 13:45 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Shiny:
And I'm glad Nibbler and Muffin are getting along.

Oh trust me, the only reason Nibbler isn't making a snack outta Muffin is because he understands the seriousness of the current situation. It would be cruel to kill their cat/snake while they're still unsure if their daughter will survive.


@Ralph: The scar isn't anywhere inappropriate. And even if it was the crew has seen her naked often enough. After she had healed from the accident she'd had laser treatments to reduce the scar tissue so it wouldn't be noticable. Having a large jagged scar would not have helped her dating life any so she wanted it as invisable as possible.
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #507 on: 01-11-2006 13:46 »

Very good update Venus!

I only have one tiny question: In your fanfic, you wrote that Leela's parents “cat” name is Muffin. Did you came up with the name or did you hear it in the shows or read it in the comics?

Again I must say nice work Venus!
Keep it up.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #508 on: 01-11-2006 14:26 »

made the name up.
Arkan

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #509 on: 01-11-2006 15:03 »

Brilliant update Venus, it was all shippy and funny at the same time and it made me say "yay!" out loud  smile
Jensor

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #510 on: 01-11-2006 16:46 »
« Last Edit on: 01-11-2006 16:46 »

Fantastic update.  I was really impressed, Venus.  Here's to the next part!

Edit:  Finally, post #50!  To quote Fry:
"Alright!  I'm a delivery boy!"
Benders_Fan

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #511 on: 01-11-2006 20:18 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Jensor:
Fantastic update. 


I agree.
soylentOrange

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #512 on: 01-11-2006 20:45 »

i think this last section is my favorite so far...
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #513 on: 01-11-2006 23:15 »

pfft. You're all just buttering me up so i don't freak out again like last time.
Jensor

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #514 on: 01-11-2006 23:18 »

Nah, we buttered you up enough already.  This time it's for real. =)
Ralph Snart

Agent Provocateur
Near Death Star Inhabitant
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #515 on: 01-12-2006 20:12 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:

pfft. You're all just buttering me up so i don't freak out again like last time.

Kiddo, there's no reason to freak out; you did good.  Don't you know by now that if you didn't, the jackals would be tearing the figurative meat off your bones?

Give yourself some well deserved credit.  You're writing a story - a good story.  It's easy to write Fry - just have him be obsessive and protective of Leela, throw a few dumb things in there for him to do and you're there.

Leela, however is a much different case.  She's a complex character.  She is both optimistic and cynical at the same time.  She hopes for the best yet expects the worst.  In your story, you're giving a little glimpse into Leela's psyche and the fact that she's sharing it with Fry shows that she trusts him more than any other person, even if he does irritate her to no end at times.

For a control-freak like Leela, being forced to stay in a hospital bed goes against everything that she is; if it weren't for Fry caring so much about her, she'd probably just leave the hospital despite doctor's orders.  That doesn't mean that she has to like it (as shown by her mounting irritation towards Amy and Fry).

You have done a great job bringing balance to Leela; for that you should be applauded.

We eagarly wait for day 3...   cool

Okay you cunts, let's see what you can do now.
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« Reply #516 on: 01-12-2006 21:19 »

Well I definitely remember reading that part about her parents cleaning the house for when she came back before. I just have one question Venus, where'd the "get hit by drunk driver thing and no one cared" idea come from?
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #517 on: 01-13-2006 01:14 »

i needed an excuse for her to want her life support pulled. Putting her in a situation where it was an issue during a time in her life where she was completely alone in the world made the most sense.
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #518 on: 01-13-2006 20:09 »

Seems reasonable to me!
Pazozo

Crustacean
*
« Reply #519 on: 01-16-2006 11:59 »

YEAH!!!!!!! Another update! I came on and like 'I haven't bloody checked these stories for ages' and there was an update. Huzzah! But enough about me. I liked this chapter, well, I lie kthem all but..well, oh hell, you don't need a blood yreview from me, I just ramble and go "it's awesome!"
Pages: 1 ... 10 11 12 [13] 14 15 16 ... 21 Print 
 Topic locked! 
« previous next »
Jump to:  

Powered by SMF | SMF © 2006, Simple Machines | some icons from famfamfam
Legal Notice & Disclaimer: "Futurama" TM and copyright FOX, its related entities and the Curiosity Company. All rights reserved. Any reproduction, duplication or distribution of these materials in any form is expressly prohibited. As a fan site, this Futurama forum, its operators, and any content on the site relating to "Futurama" are not explicitely authorized by Fox or the Curiosity Company.
Page created in 0.287 seconds with 17 queries.