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Author Topic: Venus crawls out from under her rock  (Read 17769 times)
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Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #40 on: 05-01-2005 08:05 »
« Last Edit on: 05-01-2005 08:05 »

Not really, I'm just trying to be nice. I mean, it's not like I'm a fan of exquisitely written shippy-drama or anything.   wink

Edit: TOTP-VenusIsPostingHerFicAtLast-D
SpaceCase

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #41 on: 05-01-2005 09:25 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Layla50:
Not really, I'm just trying to be nice. I mean, it's not like I'm a fan of exquisitely written shippy-drama or anything.    wink

Edit: TOTP-VenusIsPostingHerFicAtLast-D

Oh... well, then... as long as we're clear.  wink

As for myself, I flamin' LOVED it!
I have it on very good authority that I thrive on near-lethal levels of shippiness. Somehow, I perceive that your TOTPD is motivated by more than being at the TOTP.
So sorry you didn't like Venus' story...   roll eyes   laff
Sure you didn't like it. Yeah, right.   smile

@ Venus: Keep up the good work kiddo! And I repeat for emphasis, More, more, MORE!
i_c_weiner

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #42 on: 05-01-2005 12:54 »

I just read the first two parts of chapter one. I loved it. Great work, Venus. I wish I could write like that.

The emotions put on by Fry were great. I love how this all coincides with the story of another episode, my favorite episode.

Bender shows that he can care for humans rather than just care for himself. I like this spin on his character because he is usually portrayed as the human hater/unemotional one.

I hope to read more of this in the future.
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #43 on: 05-01-2005 13:47 »

I was trying to hold my comments until I had time to say something detailed, but I'm not going to have any such time for a few days.  So pardon if I just say it's going great.  Good detail.  Good observations.  I loved Fry's thoughts on seeing Leela shirtless.  Poor guy...
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« Reply #44 on: 05-02-2005 21:38 »

That's great. I've often of what happened with Fry and Bender. Anyway I'm looking forward to the next part.
Farnsworth38

Professor
*
« Reply #45 on: 05-03-2005 15:55 »

I have to agree that this was worth waiting for. The scene with the paramedics was very well done, and they were cleverly cast to suit the situation/invoke a reaction from the main character. Looking forward to the next part.

It’s getting really hard for a guy to find a vacant rock around here...
PJ

Crustacean
*
« Reply #46 on: 05-04-2005 18:41 »

marshallows are talked about and no one mentions s'mores!!!!!

anyway cool story so far your doing fry's point of veiw so well for this story

so i think it's worthy of a BOOYA!!!!
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #47 on: 05-06-2005 10:14 »
« Last Edit on: 07-23-2005 00:00 »

Not that i'll ever be able to top or even equal anything written by Layla, Goddamn that girl is good! I humbly submit a new chap of my fic for you to all enjoy and/or scoff at before i go to bed. I expect lots of reviews by the time i wake up! Which will be right before Dr Phil comes on. Cause i can't miss the words of the great and powerful Dr Phil. Cause he's all smart and stuff.

---------------------
Taco Bellevue Hospital
6:30 pm
Day 1


Time was at a standstill. Or so it seemed, as evidenced by the hospital wall clock which was moving so slowly Amy was starting to wonder if it was actually running in reverse. Staring at it seemed to make it worse so with a heavy sigh she turned her attention to her own hands and started picking at her overly-priced French Manicure.

“Spleesh, it’s been over an hour.” She stated. “Should it really be taking this long?”
Hermes stopped in mid pace to respond. “No news is good news, mon. Deese types of tings can take longer den a green snake climbing a sugarcane.”

Outraged, Zoidberg leapt to his feet, dropping his Modern Barnacle magazine. “Bah! If they had been brought to me we would know one way or another already!”

Hermes frowned with ever-present contempt. “If we ‘ad brought dem to you they would both be dead.”

“But we would know about it by now!”

“Shut up, friends.” Professor Farnsworth interrupted, “The important thing now is that the organs are returned healthy.”

Amy cringed. “Um, Professor, we want them back alive.”

“That’s what I said. Healthy organs.” He licked his lips while rubbing his hands together in evil anticipation.

“No, I mean we want Fry and Leela back alive. Not just their organs.” 

“Whatever for? I can always hire a new crew. Or better yet I could build one with my new organs. Just think, a captain with laser shooters for eyes and titanium-plated skin with spikes and a circulatory system full of antifreeze and a nervous system powered by the screams of small children, oh my yes…..”

The P.E. Employees stared silently not really sure how to respond. But a response proved unnecessary, as a grim looking doctor holding a clipboard chose that moment to enter the room. He glanced around once then consulted his papers.

“Next of kin for a Ms. Leela?”

“That’s us.” The professor stated cheerfully.

The doctor walked over and settled himself in a nearby chair.  “We’ve done all that we can do, but I’m afraid it won’t be enough.”

The crew exchanged nervous glances. “What do you mean?” Amy finally asked after a moment of silence.

“The Neurotoxin from the space-bee has severely altered the biochemistry of Leela’s brain. It stopped her heart in the ambulance. We got her back, but since then she’s been having seizures. As of now she is in a coma, and on full life-support.” He hesitated for a moment before continuing.  “We don’t expect she will ever regain consciousness.”

 His diagnosis was met by several gasps and some muttered words of shock.

“There’s nothing you can do for her?” Amy asked tearfully.

“To be honest we’ve never actually had a space bee victim arrive alive before. No treatment has ever been devised, one’s never been needed. My only advice now is to contact her family and start saying your last goodbyes.” He sighed, “I’m sorry.”

“What about Fry?” Bender wanted to know.

“He has a completely separate trauma team working on him. His doctor will be out with news as soon as he has news to give.”

After the doctor left Amy wrung her hands together anxiously and turned to her friends. “Oh God, her family. Someone’s gonna have to tell them.”

The Professor pointed to Hermes. “Notifying next of kin is his job.”

“I usually just send a letter…”

“No! That’s horrible! We can’t just send a letter, someone needs to go down there and tell them in person!” Amy insisted.

Bender calmly dropped his cigar on the green tinted sterile floor and casually ground it out with his foot. “Looks like we got ourselves a volunteer.”

Amy gasped, “Wait, what?! I didn’t volunteer! Why do I have to do it?”

“Cause.” Bender stated. “You’re the girl. Girls are sposed to be better at that touchy-feely emotional Lifetime-movie-of-the-week kinda thing aren’t cha?”

“Well…yeah, but..., I’m not…I don’t…” She sighed heavily. “Fine. I’ll go, But whose gonna tell Fry? And it is soooo not gonna be me. He is gonna freak.”

“Assuming he’s alive to freak.” The Professor pointed out.

Stepping forward importantly Bender announced, “Seeing as how I am Fry’s best buddy, and legal power of attorney, I feel it is my duty to inform him of the impending death of all his hopes and dreams.”

“Fine,” Amy agreed. “But don’t enjoy it!”

“I promise nothing.”


------------------------------

Okay, i updated. Layla! Your turn! Please? For me? My birthday is Sunday it could be like a present! A magical Shippy present!
David A

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #48 on: 05-06-2005 10:59 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
“Whatever for? I can always hire a new crew. Or better yet I could build one with my new organs. Just think, a captain with laser shooters for eyes and titanium-plated skin with spikes and a circulatory system full of antifreeze and a nervous system powered by the screams of small children, oh my yes…..”

Laser shooters?  Maybe it should just be lasers.  I have a hard time imagining a scientist saying laser shooters.

 
Quote
“Cause.” Bender stated. “You’re the girl. Girls are sposed to be better at that touchy-feely emotional Lifetime-movie-of-the-week kinda thing aren’t cha?”

Does Lifetime still exist in the thirty-first century?  I guess that it doesn't matter, but it always bothers me when characters other than Fry make references to twentieth century pop culture.

 
Quote
Stepping forward importantly Bender announced, “Seeing as how I am Fry’s best buddy, and legal power of attorney, I feel it is my duty to inform him of the impending death of all his hopes and dreams.”

“Fine,” Amy agreed. “But don’t enjoy it!”

“I promise nothing.”

Genius.
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #49 on: 05-06-2005 11:48 »

Squeeeeeeeeeeee! (Sorry, I know that's annoying.)

Hah, hoohah, yippee, whee, oh baby, yes!
You updated! Three whole parts of the story of gladness! Yeehah! (Sigh) I'm happy.

I have been waiting for this story for so very long. Ah, the great joy... I actually get so excited that I actually can't concentrate of the actual updates until I calm down, isn't that crazy? Of course it is, why am I asking?

I think you muchly over estimate my writing skills dear, for surely my story does not cause this kind of glee. I swear every sentence makes me go, "Oh, that's perfect!"

So now, instead of updating my story (you wouldn't believe how hard it is to get started again after writing an ubercliffie, or maybe you would) I get to respond to yours. (I'll try to give you a birthday present though, I'll try. But then you'd owe me something on May 18  wink)

The part before this one:

I love openings when you're not exactly sure who is speaking at first. It's all mysterious.
And his first word is "Leela". So perfect!

I love that the motherly voice is a neptunian. Just like the spa lady. It's a great touch, like a species trait that Neptunians (the female ones anyway) have motherly voices. It makes it easy to visualize her too. Oh, and having four arms is a useful trait in a paramedic!

 
Quote
“Do you know where you are?”

“Ship.”

“Do you remember what happened?”

“Bee.”

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Two?”

“Is that a question or a statement?”

“Two.”


I really like this dialogue. It's so medically and almost funny at the same time because of the one wordiness. It makes me emotional too, seeing as I can just hear Fry's pain.
 
Quote
Satisfied she turned to her partner, a green eyed, gray and black striped bipedal humanoid feline.
Ah, a cat-like alien. A sci-fi staple. Again, you handle the medical stuff very well. I know how difficult it can be. Well, I find it difficult anyway.

 
Quote
“No!” He’d found her. A tall skinny human male paramedic had placed a mask over her face and was manually pumping oxygen into her lungs while a large burly guy set up a portable heart monitor. She was ash gray and looked like she hadn’t taken a breath in several minutes. She looked dead. Fry tried to force himself upright, desperate to get to her.
Um... how can I put this? Sob! This is wonderfully written. The set up to get to where Fry first sees poor, poor Leela is just awesome. You do set ups very well, Venus. That's half the battle right there. The other half is living up to the set ups, and that can be challenging. (Looks around nervously) Naturally, you live up to your set ups.

Love the Neptunians handling of distraught Fry. Very professional. I can so hear Fry when you write him.

The whole "defeated" paragraph is incredible. So like Fry would act in those situations.

 
Quote
The whole time he had been unconscious she had been quietly suffocating. Right there on his shoulder. He had failed her. Twice. “Not like I should be surprised or nothin.” He thought bitterly. “I always let her down. Why should now be any different?”
Wah! That's so sad. I love the words quietly suffocating. Way to jerk out the tears! Oh, and the word desolately when applied to someone's emotions... so beautiful.

 
Quote
This easily had the potential to become the absolute worst day of his life.

“We lost her pulse, she’s coding!”

Another awesome set up. Also, truely terrifying, even though I know she's going to be alright, eventually. It's like stepping into Fry's head.
 
Quote

Fry didn’t know what ‘coding’ was, but he damn sure knew what ‘we lost her pulse’ meant.
The characterization is just fantastic, and it really comes across in lines like this.

Fry's embarassment on Leela's behalf is incredibly touching... also very uncomfortable, like I'm the one being exposed. It makes me want to shove the doctors away from her. Fry probably feels the same way.

The defibrillation is entirely creepy and nerve-wracking. Thank you! And just the way Fry can only watch, helplessly. He's so powerless in that moment.

 
Quote
Frustrated Fry placed his hand on her hip and weakly tried to force her out of his way.
I love Fry's adorable stubborness. He's so devoted.

 
Quote
“Don’t care.” He stated numbly, never looking up. “Don’t wan’ta live if she doesn’t.”
Okay, I know it's been said, but this is unbelievably great! I think this may well be my favorite dramatic Fry line ever, including anything he ever said on the series. (And here I am thinking of, "please wake up.) I'm gonna go cry now.

 
Quote
The Neptunian must have found his declaration somewhat romantic.
Nice touch. I love when minor characters have personalities.

 
Quote
Once again there was no effect, her heart monitor still screaming accusingly. Fully expecting the worst, Fry began to sob painfully. He’d always assumed she would be around forever but now it seemed he’d lost her for good. Praying for a miracle he held his breath as the paramedic gave it one more try. She jerked, there was silence, and then…
Gorgeous writing. "Screaming accusingly" "sob painfully" These are wonderful prhases for their vividness and subtlety. Fry's feeling guilty, hence the accusation, and the sobs are painful in two ways, cause he thinks he lost Leela and cause he's been impaled.
 
Quote
Elated, Fry’s tears of anguish quickly became tears of immeasurable relief.
More beautiful writing. You should teach phraseology.

 
Quote
Before they were taken off in separate directions he gave it a loving squeeze and hoped to God he would be seeing her again.

Just too touching for words, really!

And the latest part:

Lots of laughs in the first bit of this part. Everyone is being themselves and you have the classic clock running backward reference. I swear I've seen that happen.

I love your Hermes accent writing and the conflict between him and Zoidy. Such fun. It's really like reading lines from an episode. The healthy organs lines are absolutely hilarious, especially when the Professor is licking his lips.

 
Quote
a nervous system powered by the screams of small children, oh my yes…..”
Now that is funny! and disturbing, which is why it's funny.

Having the doctor start out by asking for the next of kin gave me a cold chill.

I love the bad news gasp. I also loved Amy's tearful reaction. Having the doctor's admit no one has ever lasted as long as Leela with that bee venom was a fantastic idea. It just plays up the direness of the situation. Awesome!

I like that Bender asked about Fry and that the doctor didn't know.
 
Quote
After the doctor left Amy wrung her hands together anxiously and turned to her friends. “Oh God, her family. Someone’s gonna have to tell them.”

I started getting really emotional at this point. I can't wait to see Morris and Munda's reaction.
Then you have this wonderful, in-character tension breaker with Hermes, the Professor and Bender.
 
Quote
“Cause.” Bender stated. “You’re the girl. Girls are sposed to be better at that touchy-feely emotional Lifetime-movie-of-the-week kinda thing aren’t cha?”

We might know something about that, eh Venus?  smile I really laughed at that.

 
Quote
“Well…yeah, but..., I’m not…I don’t…” She sighed heavily. “Fine. I’ll go, But whose gonna tell Fry? And it is soooo not gonna be me. He is gonna freak.”
And then I got teary. It's a strange thing but sometimes having someone not-too-serious talk about someone else's emotions in a casual kind of way actually makes more of an impact. In any case, that line hit me like a ton of bricks.

 
Quote
“Assuming he’s alive to freak.” The Professor pointed out.

Stepping forward importantly Bender announced, “Seeing as how I am Fry’s best buddy, and legal power of attorney, I feel it is my duty to inform him of the impending death of all his hopes and dreams.”

“Fine,” Amy agreed. “But don’t enjoy it!”

“I promise nothing.”


This made me laugh and cry at the same time. Clever Venus, not many people have managed to do that to me! The impending death of all his hopes and dreams... it's hilarious, and so true too.

Wow, Venus, just... wow...  love
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #50 on: 05-06-2005 14:55 »
« Last Edit on: 05-06-2005 14:55 »

Hi Venus!

That was nice. Even if we all know how this will end, I must say that you are writing this new point of view (of The Sting (my fav episode btw)) the right way. All we saw in the episode was Leela's point of view but now you are showing the same episode from a deferent point of view. I like it.

We all know that Fry will be crush by the bad news about Leela and will stay by her side most of the time. We all know that the others will come visit them from time to time. We all know that somehow Leela’s parents were informed about the fate of their daughter.

But still we are hook to your story. Why? Well maybe because you write all your characters very well (especially Fry and Bender) and you put the right amount of emotions and just enough suspense to keep us on the edge of our seat. Even if we know how this will end, you can bet that you will have a great supporting group of peoples reading your fic.

Sorry but I must stop this now. I have to go back to work. I hope that what I said was understandable.  hmpf 

Bye for now and keep up the good work.   smile
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #51 on: 05-06-2005 19:22 »

Great job! It's alternately funny and sad, and you just did a really good job with it.

Also, both you and Layla are underestimating your utter greatness.
Nerd-o-rama

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #52 on: 05-06-2005 19:33 »

Nice.  I'm starting to learn the entertainment value of alternate perspectives when it comes to fanfiction, and that's the entire point of this one, no?  You seem to have the characters down pretty well, though as you warned you are a bit light on the humor.  Excellent description, godd conveyance of realistic emotion...all in all, pretty damn good.

Look at me, I'm diversifying.
Ol´coot

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #53 on: 05-06-2005 19:49 »

Wonderful chapter Venus. The doctor came across as beaten down and without any hope - great stuff!

However;
"and a nervous system powered by the screams of small children, oh my yes…..”"

Jeez Venus, isn't just a touch  too dark?

Still a great chapter!

Set ye Zapp in the forefront of the hottest battle, and retire ye from him, that he may be smitten and die.

II Yosemite 11:15
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #54 on: 05-07-2005 01:17 »

It's absolutely wonderful. And I hate you.  Because I had been kicking around the idea of doing an "Amy has to tell Leela's parents" story!  How's that for weird hive-mind moments?

No, seriously, I adore it.  You've got a great handle on mixing the serious and the funny.  The Prof and Zoidberg are perfect.  Bender too.  The last line is brilliant.  But I do hope Bender has one of his rare sensitive moments when he actually tells Fry...maybe?  (Does puppy-dog eyes at Venus)  I think if he was cruel about that, it would be too much for Fry.  Or maybe just me.   cry

It's going great!
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #55 on: 05-07-2005 10:50 »

David A:  Hmm. I suspect you might be right. Perhaps i should change it to Photon beams in the final version? And yes, the Lifetime Channel still exists. In 2048 Lifetime joined forces with The Oxygen network and the Hallmark network and after many pillow fights and jello shots later spawned dozens of women-centered affiliate networks which take up channels 101-126.

Layla50: My updates can't possibly make you as happy as your updates make me. Your story has war and flashbacks and Nixon and mutiny and creepy mind-stuff. What does mine have? No action once-so-ever unless you count the opening chapter. No one pulls a gun on anyone, no one winds up kidnapped, no one gets stuck in a wall. Yours is epic and mine is down right domestic. On a side note, i want Shippy for my birthday!

NIC2001: Awwww thanks. Praise makes my insides feel all happy. Hopefully i can stay consistent and really do the actual episode (which obviously is my favorite or i wouldn't have put 2 years into this thing) justice.

*Basks in the glow of praise from Shippy Mandy*

Yay! Nor's paying attention to me! Yeah i'm light on humor, not cause i don't like writing humor, just cause i'm not clever enough to do it. It takes me a lot longer to write the funny sections than it does to write the dramatic ones and i know the funnier sections suffer a quality drop.

Ol'coot: too dark? too dark? Or not dark enough? *cue dramatic sting and evil laughter*

Shiny: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Get out of my head! GetoutGetoutGetout!!! *Runs screaming into wall. A tiny Shiny falls out of Venus' ear. Venus catches shiny and places her in the jar that contains a mummified cat head.* You wanna wonder around someones head? Wander in Anilie's she's not using it currently.

Bender? Handling Fry with sensitivity? Muahahahaha. MUAHAHAHAHA!!
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #56 on: 05-07-2005 11:35 »

I don't know Shiny, I tend to think that Bender being all sensitive will make Fry feel even worse. I mean, if Bender came up to you with big doe eyes and said, "I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but..." wouldn't you be terrified?

I have a feeling that scene's gonna have me bawling, despite the fact torturing our beloved characters in my own fanfic has jaded me.

I now have a dark, dark soul. Cheerful, but dark.

Anyhoo, domesticity... but that's what I love about your fic! It get's all the horror out in the first few chapters, then settles down into sweet, sweet angst. Is there anything shipper's like better than one character deeply worried about another? Heck, that's pretty much the point of fanfic, pulling characters out of their comfort zones so they can express what they can't normally. It's a revelatory kind of thing. All this plot stuff in fanfics is a means to an end. In that way, there isn't any difference between the contents of our stories, except that you get to the heart of them more quickly. I guess that means that your story is truer, if that makes sense.

Now wasn't that a ridiclously thoughtful reply. I must be in a writing mood. I better get working on your present.  smile

Oh, and yay! N-o-r is here! (baby talk) Isums expanding his horizons? Oh, isums such a brave boy! I'm so proud of you!

Actually, I better apologize for that lest I lose a much treasured fan. Sorry. I was kidding.
Bwahaha! We're drawing him over to the shippy side of the force, Venus! (Still kidding, but less so.  wink)
David A

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #57 on: 05-07-2005 12:56 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
David A:  Hmm. I suspect you might be right. Perhaps i should change it to Photon beams in the final version?

Or maybe Death Rays.  I always liked the sound of Death Rays.

 
Quote
And yes, the Lifetime Channel still exists. In 2048 Lifetime joined forces with The Oxygen network and the Hallmark network and after many pillow fights and jello shots later spawned dozens of women-centered affiliate networks which take up channels 101-126.

Good to know.

 
Quote
Ol'coot: too dark? too dark? Or not dark enough? *cue dramatic sting and evil laughter*

No, it's just right.  Don't change it.

 
Quote
Bender? Handling Fry with sensitivity? Muahahahaha. MUAHAHAHAHA!!

  big grin
SpaceCase

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #58 on: 05-07-2005 13:21 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Layla50:
... Oh, and the word desolately when applied to someone's emotions... so beautiful...

<Applauds in Venus' direction>

Well kiddo, from the sounds of it you're in the process of battin' a home run.
Keep up the good work. Please.

PUH-LEEZE?  wink
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #59 on: 05-07-2005 13:28 »
« Last Edit on: 05-07-2005 13:28 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
It takes me a lot longer to write the funny sections than it does to write the dramatic ones
Could you be my professional excuse writer?  Because, I'm going to be needing one if I don't get moving soon.
 
Quote
Originally posted by Layla50:
Bwahaha! We're drawing him over to the shippy side of the force, Venus!
cry
Random comments and/or emoticons aside, this little part was a nice piece of writing.  The small jokes work well with the dramatic mood, making them more pronounced, like a splash of orange paint on a black canvas.

Anyways, looking forward to the next update.  Happy birthday and all.  21?  Your gift is the gift of inebriation, which is the gift that keeps on giving. big grin

Also, maybe I'll try to write something for once, but don't hold me to that
i_c_weiner

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #60 on: 05-07-2005 13:39 »

I like this chapter alot. The rest of the chapters were kinda dark and dramatic, while this chapter showed the funnies. I loved the Professor's caring for healthy organs and Bender being...well, Bender. Nice job! Hope to see more great work.
Shippy Mandy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #61 on: 05-07-2005 15:13 »
« Last Edit on: 05-07-2005 15:13 »

Venus, you really shouldn't be basking in the glow of my praise. I'm fairly sure it's radioactive, and if you got cancer and died, you wouldn't be able to continue your fanfic, and that would be sad.  cry
Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #62 on: 05-07-2005 22:38 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
Bender? Handling Fry with sensitivity? Muahahahaha. MUAHAHAHAHA!!

I mean, sensitive for Bender. I'm not totally insane... 
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #63 on: 05-11-2005 15:57 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
Shiny: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Get out of my head! GetoutGetoutGetout!!! *Runs screaming into wall. A tiny Shiny falls out of Venus' ear. Venus catches shiny and places her in the jar that contains a mummified cat head.* You wanna wonder around someones head? Wander in Anilie's she's not using it currently.


Mwahahahaha!

Shiny

Professor
*
« Reply #64 on: 05-11-2005 23:36 »

What do you have me sitting on in that jar?  I assume it's not what it looks like, because I can't think of any reason you'd save something like that.

You're paying for the drycleaning, chica.  tongue
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #65 on: 05-12-2005 05:10 »

It is exactly what it looks like. The mummified head of a dead cat. Her name is Anilie and she lives on my dresser. she used to be a dumpster kitty until some dogs ate her torso.
I

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #66 on: 05-12-2005 09:53 »

There is something about keeping dried heads in jars that really bothers me...
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #67 on: 05-12-2005 09:57 »

Not just her head, but three whole vertibra!
SpaceCase

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #68 on: 05-12-2005 12:01 »

@ Venus:

For the longest time you current avvy reminded me of someone, now I know why...

ELVIRA Mistress of the Dark!  wink
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #69 on: 05-12-2005 12:36 »
« Last Edit on: 05-12-2005 12:36 »

Nah. Elvira's kinda old. My Avy is Amy Lee from Evanescence. Although she has been compaired to Elvira a few times herself.

Nice to see you back on the board though. You've had a tendency to be away.
David A

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #70 on: 05-12-2005 13:25 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
It is exactly what it looks like. The mummified head of a dead cat. Her name is Anilie and she lives on my dresser.

So, did you name her that after you put her head in that jar, or was that her name when she was a living kitty?
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #71 on: 05-12-2005 13:29 »

After. She was a stray when she was alive. Then after two weeks of rotting in my front yard i claimed her as my own. Now i can honestly say i have 2.25 cats in my home. Anica, Diego, and Anilie. (pronounced on-uh-lee)
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #72 on: 05-12-2005 16:53 »

When you least expect it! Bam!

----------------------


Taco Bellevue Hospital, room 316
7:15 pm
Day 1


The first thing Fry became aware of as his anesthesia began to wear off was the creepy sensation that he was being stared at. The second was the rather annoying beeping of a heart monitor, reminding him instantly of where he was and why he was there. Finally opening his eyes he found himself face to face with the interested stare of Bender who was sitting at his bedside. He gestured at a nearby power cord.

“If I unplug this will you die?”

“I don’t think so.”

“What if I unplug this?

Fry stared hard at Bender, trying to work up the courage to ask what had to be the single most important question he had ever asked in his life.

“Bender,” He began slowly, almost too frightened to continue. “How’s Leela?”

“She’s dead.” Was the nonchalant reply.

Fry felt his heart stop dead in his chest, before starting again at a frantic pace. He fell back against his pillow, physically incapable of holding himself upright any longer. Utterly devastated he began to sob.

“Oh God, ohhhhhhhh my God…”

“Now when I say ‘dead’ I don’t exactly mean it in the widely accepted definition of the word.”  Bender amended, unsettled by Fry’s tears.

Fry froze. “What do you mean?” He demanded desperately.

“She’s in a coma, but she ain’t ever gonna wake up so she’s as good as dead. So you might as well get used to the idea of it now.”

“But she’s not dead now?

“Not yet.”

“So there’s a chance?”

“Nope.”

“You can’t know that!”

“It’s what ‘er doctor said.”

Fry sighed, depressed, yet refusing to let go of this new spark of hope. “Has anyone told her parents?”

“Amy’s with ‘em now.”

Fry’s tears started anew, “This is gonna be hell on them. They can’t even come see her or nothing.” He buried his face in his hands, “How could I have let this happen? The one time she really needed me and I blew it!”

“Aww, buck up buddy. Look at the bright side. With Leela gone there will be no one around yellin’...naggin’…bitchin’...” His voice broke, “I’m gonna miss her!”

Absolutely miserable the pair grabbed onto each other and wailed.

 
Residence of Turanga Morris & Munda
7:15 pm
Day 1


Standing nervously on the crumbling front step of Leela’s parents house deep underground Amy took a moment to settle herself before knocking on the door. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was going to say to them. It looked like she was just going to have to wing it. She tried to think of what she would want someone to tell her family in a reverse situation. So deep in this thought, she was startled when the door did open, revealing Leela’s mom Munda. She was just as surprised to see Amy as Amy was to see her.

“I know you don’t I? You’re one of Leela’s surface friends.”

Amy nodded silently feeling rather uncomfortable.

Munda smiled and waved her in, “Come in, sit down, I’ll make you some tea.”

“Um, no tea thank you, I uh, is your husband here?”

Munda frowned quizzically as the pair sat around the coffee table.

“Yes, he’s here…MORRIS!”

As they waited for Morris to enter the living room Amy studiously avoided Munda’s questioning gaze by playing with the sleeve of her sweat suit.

“Is something wrong with Leela?” Munda asked slowly.

“What’s wrong with Leela?” Morris demanded alarmed as he came to sit down by his wife.

Amy stared at the floor. “Um, well…There was an accident today that, uh, Leela was a part of…”

Frightened, Munda reached for Morris’s hand. “But she’s okay, right?”

Amy was silent for several seconds.

Right?

Taking a deep breath and trying not to fidget, Amy finally looked up and made eye contact with Leela’s trembling mother. “She was… stung by a Space-Bee. They’re real poisonous, and she…she’s in a… a coma. The doctor said she’s… never gonna wake up.”

After a shocked pause Munda wailed shrilly and buried her face in her tentacles. Morris just looked stunned. At a loss for what to do he numbly looked down at his wife. She was almost doubled over and moaning piteously.

“Oh God, my baby…My poor baby.”

Finally he regained enough sense to wrap his arms around her. She fell heavily against him and pressed her tearful face into his shirt as wracking sobs overtook her body.

Trying not to cry herself, Amy stood up to leave. “Me or Fry or someone will call you with updates and stuff. We’ll make sure you know what’s going on with her.”

Morris nodded a silent ‘thank you’. Amy smiled sadly and all but ran out the door.

-------------------------

Kinda short. oooohhh and a double post to boot. Venus is a bad girl!

I can safely say with absolute certainty that my next update will be on the 18th which Layla has informed me is her birthday. And my update will actually be on time. Making Layla feel so guilty she will give me two Shippy for the price of one! Weeeeeee!!
I

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #73 on: 05-12-2005 17:14 »

Great update.

 
Quote
“If I unplug this will you die?”

“I don’t think so.”

“What if I unplug this?”

Starts out Bender;
 
Quote
“Bender,” He began slowly, almost too frightened to continue. “How’s Leela?”

“She’s dead.” Was the nonchalant reply.
Continues Bender.

And then we have Fry In Denial... poor lad. And Morris & Munda, as well! Please tell me we will see more of them in your next and really long update the 18th?
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #74 on: 05-12-2005 17:26 »

Nope sorry M&M aren't seen again until the update right after the next one. But don't worry they get a lot of 'screen time'
NIC2001

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #75 on: 05-12-2005 19:09 »
« Last Edit on: 05-12-2005 19:09 »

Wow!!!    eek

 
Quote
Originally posted by *Venus*:
*“If I unplug this will you die?”

“I don’t think so.”

“What if I unplug this?”

*
   laff    laff
That was so good. You made laugh so loud... And the part with Amy and Leela's parents was so touching and sad. I just don't know how I would react if someone told me that something bad happened to my son. I probably would react like they did.

Keep it up Venus I can't wait for your next part. 

Bye for now. 
JBERGES

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #76 on: 05-12-2005 19:15 »

Here's where I wonder if anyone else thinks Bender breaking form was much sadder than the Turanga's reactions... and if that makes me weird.  Oh well.  Another nice little piece Venus; very well written.  Keep it up. 

(Guaranteeing a new piece is easy when you’ve written it already  tongue)
Layla50

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #77 on: 05-12-2005 19:30 »

Ooh, Venus you villain! It's easy for you to update! You've been hording updates for years!

I wuv you vewy much.

Bender's reveal to Fry could not have been written better. It's impossible. You've already introduced that heartbreaking faith that Fry has that Leela will alright.

And then you made me laugh, which then made me cry with Bender's little breakdown. I gotta get a kleenex.

I loved Amy's awkwardness, and the way she bolts out of there the minute she can. Munda sobbing piteously made me cry all over again.

This was such a realistic scene. Naturally with one of Leela's friends popping down without her, and then all those awkward pauses, they're gonna jump to conclusions. Geez... you just completely broke my heart with that scene, short and sweet... with tasty anguish.

Bugger, I just read that again and you went and made my cheeks all wet.

The only thing I have to ask about is Amy saying that Fry might get in touch. Is it because she's just used to him being the go to guy or is it because she's feeling optimistic about him? After all, he's still in surgury to her.

Just wondering...

By the way, you're right, I do feel guilty, profoundly guilty. Profoundly, profoundly guilty.
It doesn't help that your present has not ended up being very shippy thus far... and you deserve that!

I'm gonna give you a present... tonight.
David A

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #78 on: 05-12-2005 19:37 »

 
Quote
“If I unplug this will you die?”

“I don’t think so.”

“What if I unplug this?

  laff  I don't know why you think that you're not clever enough to write humor.  You clearly are.  You seem to be especially good at writing Bender's lines.  Nice work.
Venus

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #79 on: 05-12-2005 19:57 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Layla50:
The only thing I have to ask about is Amy saying that Fry might get in touch. Is it because she's just used to him being the go to guy or is it because she's feeling optimistic about him? After all, he's still in surgury to her.

She doesn't know what's going on with Fry true, but she knows that if Fry survives his injury and is physically/emotionally able then he would be the go-to guy for anything Leela related. That's why the line was "Me or Fry or someone" Cause she doesn't know who it will be that will eventually be news-giver.

I demand Shippy damnit!
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