My Partially Bad First FanFic/Screenplay!

[on:]

This is my first Fan Fic or Screenplay. Give me what you feel about it, plan and simple. I used the one "unused" caption in my caption, so don't really mention it or anything. Also, say what you think. Favorite story? Least favorite story? Rating? In addition, this was a paper for school as well, so that's why there are somethings less Futurama like, like magazine instead of porn/dirty magazine.


Futurama
Anthology of Interest III


[Opening: “FUTURMA” appears on screen. Theme Music begins. Underneath “FUTURAMA” appears the words on both sides of the screen “CLOSED-CAPTIONED IN STERO”. PLANET EXPRESS SHIP flies through the hole in “R” and goes to travels around NEW NEW YORK CITY. After a few seconds, a billboard screen is in a shot and the cartoon “Tom and Jerry” is shown on the screen. “Tom and Jerry” cuts off to show executive producers, and Planet Express ship then flies into the screen.]


Act One: Scene One-

[ Fly-In on Planet Express Building Music begins. Fly in on the PLANT EXPRESS BUILDING. Cut to inside, where PROFESSOR HUBERT FARNSWORTH has the PLANET EXPRESS CREW in his lab, showing them the WHAT-IF MACHINE HUBERT FARNSWORTH has the PLANET EXPRESS CREW in his lab, showing them the WHAT-IF MACHINE]

Professor: [excitedly] Good news everybody! I’ve almost completed my fixes on the What-If Machine. [Professor hits What-If Machine with a hammer] DONE! So, who wants to go first? [Crew raises hands so they can get picked]

Bender: [pushes crewmembers away so he can get to front of group] Professor, I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have people living in me. You know, like I was some sort of god. So, what if I were the Planet Express Ship.

Professor: [faces What-If Machine] What if Bender were the Planet Express Ship? [pulls string in back of What-If Machine and string goes back, like a talking doll]


[Fade into What-If Machine screen.]


Act One: Scene Two-

[Setting: Professor has gathered the crew to the PLANET EXPRESS TABLE. Bender is missing.]

Leela: Professor?

Professor: [Professor picks up head, obviously mad] What?! I was taking a nap!

Leela: Why’d you call us here.

Professor: Oh yes, that. I’ve implanted Bender’s hard drive into the Planet Express Ship.

[Viewing area comes higher and Bender(Planet Express Ship) is hovering over the table]

Bender: Hey guys!


Act One: Scene Three-

[Setting: Planet Express Ship is leaving Citrus 9 after delivering orange cartons.]

Leela: Good job team.

Fry and Bender: Woo-hoo!

[Planet Express Ship rumbles]

Fry: What’s happening?!

Leela: [looking in mirror] It’s Space Pirates.

[Shows SPACE PIRATE CAPTIAN on Planet Express Ship screen]

Captain: Give up all ye swag.

Leela: [turning to Planet Express Ship console] Bender! What happened to the radar system and the flashy lights that come on when something’s wrong!

Bender: [mellow voice] They were bothering me, so I turned it off.

Leela: Turn it back on!

Bender: Fine. [Suddenly, flashy lights  turn on the noises start up] Hey! Somebody’s hitting me with missiles! It tickles. [Bender laughs]

Leela: This isn’t the time for laughing. [Leela turns steering wheel] And  why’s the steering wheel working!

Bender: Oh, yeah, I set that on Auto-Pilot. And as in Auto-Pilot, I mean me. And by me, I mean I turned it off.

Leela: Bender! I demand you to turn it on!

Bender: Okay, fine. [Ship lunges to the left, then Leela regains control, and starts evasive maneuvers]

[Captain returns to screen]

Captain: If ye don’t give up de swag, we’s gonna board ye ship.

[Ship rumbles after another hit]

Leela: Fire Torpedo Number 4!

Fry: Firing Torpedo Number 4!

[Torpedo lunches out of Planet Express Ship, but turns out to be a magazine]

Bender: Hey! That was my magazine!

Leela: Fry, go back to the Torpedo Haul and get Torpedo Number 3 ready.

[Fry gets up and runs to the door]

Fry: Bender! Open the door!

Bender: You gotta say please.

Fry: Please. [door opens]

[Fry continues running to the Torpedo Haul]

[Cut to Fry in Torpedo Haul. Red lights are flashing and noises are blaring. Fry tries picking up Torpedo on floor, but it weighs too much]

Fry: Bender, can you help me?

Bender: Okay. [Gravity is turned off. Cans and magazines float in the air, as well as Fry and Torpedo Number 3. Fry pushes Torpedo Number 3 into launch tunnel]

Fry: Okay! [Gravity turns on. Fry falls on the floor]

[Cuts to window showing Torpedo Number 3 traveling into Pirate Ship. Cuts to Captain in Space Pirate Ship]

Captain: Argh!

[Space Pirate Ship explodes in a dramatic display.]

Fry, Leela, and Bender: [cheer themselves]

Leela: Good work everybody! Now, to get home. [Ship lurches forward, but no movement] Bender!

Transition Announcer: You watched it! You can’t unwatch it! Stay tuned for more [words appear on screen after announcer says them] Tales…Of…Interest!


[Commercial break]

Act Two: Scene One-

Professor: Okay, let’s try another person to ask a question to the What-If Machine. Zoidberg--

Zoidberg: [excitedly] Me! Okay, then what if I had--

Professor: No! Not you! I want you to pick the person who will ask next.

Zoidberg: [bummed] Okay. [regular voice] Let’s see where my claw lands! [Crew backs away, except for Fry, who is poked by Zoidberg’s claw]

Fry: [surprised] Ouch! Okay. Let’s see. [pauses] I know! What if I were a wizard?

Professor: Amy, ask the What-If Machine the question! I’m not paying you to sit around all day and paint your nails!

Amy: Ugh. [walks to What-If Machine] What if Fry was a wizard?
[Fade into What-If Machine screen.]


Act Two: Scene Two-

[“Harry Potter” beginning- Viewing goes through clouds to a shot of a castle. Then, viewing goes past castle and to a smaller castle, and then a smaller castle, where the viewing goes into. During this all, Harry Potter Theme is playing.]

[Professor is dressed as Dumbledore, Leela is dressed as Hermione, Bender is dressed in a Hogwarts get-up, Fry is dressed in as Harry Potter, and Hermes is dressed as a teacher alongside Professor Farnsworth]

Professor: Hello everybody!

Fry, Bender, and Leela: Hello.

Hermes: I’ve got great news.

Fry: What is it?

Hermes: You hav’ta play wizard basketball against the otha’ house.

Leela: You know we’re not good.

Hermes: Yes, I know, but you make good money from it! And that’s good!

[PROFESSOR WERNSTROM, CUBERT, DWIGHT, and AMY enter room]

Professor: Wernstrom!

Wernstrom: Just came by to make sure you weren’t going to chicken out of the wizard basketball game.

Professor: Of course not! Why would we do that?

Wernstrom: No reason at all. Except if you were [pause] a chicken! [Wernstrom wipes around with his wand and casts a spell. Professor Farnsworth begins to cluck.] [chuckle] Don’t chicken out.

Professor: Oh, that [cluck] Wernstrom. I had taught him all he [cluck] knows! And this [cluck] is how he repays me! Hermes, [cluck] fix my [cluck] voice. [Hermes casts a spell. Professor transforms into a chicken.] Hermes!


Act Two: Scene Three-

[Scene: Basketball court on a lakeside. Professor, Hermes, Fry, Leela, and Bender are at the court.]

Hermes: Now, for de basics of wizard basketball. [Fry raises hand] Yes Fry.

Fry: Is this Wizard’s basketball?

Hermes: No, dis is the ancient sport of wizard basketball. First, get yourself up in de air. [Leela enchants self. Bender enchants self.] Bender! You know you can’t be a wizard.

Bender: No, I’m a robot wizard.
Fry: [Fry tries to enchant self, but does the chicken voice spell] [cluck]

Hermes: [undoes Fry’s spell] Fry, try harder. The spell is only “Get ma’self up!”

Fry: Get myself up! [Fry begins to float, and then falls flat on his face]

Hermes: It’s “Get ma’self up!“ not “Get myself up!”

Fry: Okay. Get ma’self up! [Fry is now levitating] Awesome! I’m flying!

Hermes: Okay, nicely done ya’ all.

[Wernstrom and his students come onto the court]

Professor: [getting up from his nap, as if he has a Wernstrom-sensor] Wernstrom!

Wernstrom: Get ready for the game, students.

[Fry, Leela, Bender, Amy, Cubert, and Dwight suit up for the wizard basketball game]

Hermes: Okay, students, lis’en up. De rules of de game are simple, win. [Hermes blows his whistle]

[Amy controls the tip. She passes it to Cubert. He takes it up the court. Passes it to Dwight, who pulls some Globetrotter moves on Fry on the way to the basket. Siren goes off to indicate point scored.]

Wernstrom: Ha, take that Farnsworth. Now we are 4 more baskets from winning!

[Bender takes it up the court. He puts the ball in his chest, and leisurely strolls up court and is knocked over with a spell by Cubert. Cubert picks up the ball and passes it up to Dwight for the alley-op. Fry gains possession of the ball after that. He takes it up court. Passes it to Leela, who is hit in the eye with the ball. Amy picks it up, and passes the ball to Dwight, who passes it to Cubert, who takes a two point shot from three point territory.]

Wernstrom: What’s that? Oh yes, that’s 3 to nothing!

Professor: Time-out!

[Hermes blows whistle]

Professor: Okay, gather round team. [pauses] Win!

[Hermes blows whistle. He gives to ball to Leela at the sideline. Leela passes it to Bender who does a Globetrotter “roll the ball on my shoulders” trick and then passes it to Fry, who makes a lay-in. Cubert passes it to Dwight, but it’s intercepted by Fry, who passes it off the backboard to Bender, who does the glass shattering dunk.]

Bender: Oh yeah! That’s how we do it!

[Dwight passes it in to Amy, but Leela takes it away from Amy]

Amy: You broke my nail! You’ll pay! [Amy blasts a purple beam from her wand towards a unsuspecting Leela]

Hermes: [blows whistle] Hey! Dat’s not allowed! [Amy blasts beam at Hermes]

Amy: Don’t you dare break my nail again!

Hermes: [getting up] Dat’s a technical foul. Leela gets two free shots.

[Leela makes the first. Then, on the second, it hit’s the rim, and bounces out. In slow motion, Bender extends his arms and grabs the ball, passes it to Fry, who makes a two point shot.]

Hermes: [Pointing at Fry, Leela, and Bender] Dey win! [Fry, Leela, and Bender celebrate by getting a bottle of champagne out of Bender’s chest.]

Transition Announcer: That was a very shocking [words come up in Alien Crypt 1 as Transition Announcer says them] Tale…Of…Interest!


[Commercial break]


Act Three: Scene One-

Professor: Who’s next?

Leela: I’ll go. What if I were not a mutant?

Bender: [laughing] That’s a crummy question. A better question would be like, “What if I were less obnoxious?”

Leela: What if he were less obnoxious?

Professor: Great question! What if Bender were less obnoxious? [lights a string that goes to the What-If Machine to start it up]


[Fades into What-If Machine screen.]


Act Three: Scene Two:

Professor: Good news everyone! I’ve made an adjustment to Bender’s hard drive so now he’s 50% less obnoxious and rude!

Everybody: [cheers]

Bender: Hello everybody. Such a wonderful day, isn’t it?

Leela: Why yes it is Bender. Thank you for asking.

Bender: Yeah, up your butt! Ha!

Leela: [to Professor] I thought he wasn’t rude anymore.

Professor: I said it was only 50% less! Let me just tweak it a bit more. [takes out screw and turns “Obnoxious Level” screw to none] There! That should do it.

Leela: So, Bender, how are you?

Bender: I’m doing very well today, thank you. And for a treat to you all, I’ve made a special reservation to Elzar’s!

Everybody: [cheers] [all leave room]

Bender: Yes, it will be a dinner they’ll never forget. [Zoom in on Bender’s screws on his head. Shows “Obnoxious Level” as none and “Evil Level” at high]


Act Three: Scene Three-

[Setting: Zoom in on Elzar’s at sunset. Cut to the crew at a round table by a window.]

Hermes: Thank you so much for dis dinna’, Bender.

Scruffy: Yeah, Scruffy likes the dinner. [takes a bite out of his steak]

Professor: I guess that adjustment to Bender has done wonders.

Bender: Yes it has. I’d like to thank you, Professor, for this, this, this--[starts to cry] this help.

Professor: There, there, Bender. It’s okay. Professy’s here for you.

[Suddenly, Amy falls on the table]

Professor: What happened?!

Hermes: [takes out Life/Death Reader, and it beeps twice] She’s dead.

Professor: Duh, she’s dead. I was wondering what happened to my lobster. [turns to Zoidberg] Zoidberg!

Zoidberg: What? I was just releasing the little lady to her home. [Professor begins to chase Zoidberg around the restaurant with a steak knife] Woob woob woob woob!

Hermes: [waving Deadometer over Amy] It seems she died from poisoning. That means one thing -- [View turns to Bender]

Bender: What? [Professor is chasing Zoidberg in background].

Hermes: One of us has poisoned her! And I think it was-- [Hermes falls onto the floor]

Scruffy: Scruffy says he’s dead. [flips page in his magazine]

Leela: First Amy, now Hermes. Who else is going to die-- [sound of body hitting ground] Oh my! The Professor’s dead!

Zoidberg: Finally, I can this pretty lady back to her home. [walks to tank] I see there’s a lucky lobster waiting for you, so I’ll be leaving now.

Act Three: Scene Four-

[Setting: Elzar’s at night. Cut to inside where Amy’s, Hermes’, and the Professor’s bodies are stacked up next to the wall]

Zoidberg: As a doctor of medical medicine, it’s quite obvious that these three are dead. Ka-put! No longer with us! Where are they? I do not know. But alive they are not!

Leela: Wait a second. If everybody is dead of food poisoning, why aren’t we?

Fry: Maybe God loves us.

Zoidberg: Perhaps, maybe, but maybe there is another answer! Perhaps it was one of us! Maybe it was you [pointing at lobster with Professor’s lobster] with your big claws, you might’ve killed them! I’ll get you for this! [pauses] Later.

Bender: Do you all want to know the real reason you’re all alive?

Leela: Wait a minute, you know why we’re all alive?

Bender: The reason is I’m pure evil now. With the obnoxious gone, I could focus on my dream; killing all humans.  And because Leela’s a mutant, she’s not dead. Because Zoidberg is an alien, he’s not dead.

Elzar (from kitchen): Me too!

Bender: And Fry’s not dead because he’s the only human that’s ever understood me. And Scruffy lives because he’s misunderstood as well.

Leela: Well, that explains why everybody that’s a human who’s not Fry is dead. [Zoom out to show restaurant has everybody dead but Leela, Zoidberg, Fry, and Bender dead] Where IS Scruffy?

Scruffy: [coming out of bathroom] Wha’d I miss?

[Closing Credits]

[Reply #1 on:]

it's not bad, but... it seems the space pirates thing and the fire torpedoes is stolen a little from the... forget the name of the episode, where bender is god*

[Reply #2 on:]

psst cujoe169 the episodes name was Godfellas

Good first writing, it could use a tad more jokes though. Otherwise nice work, write some more soon!

[Reply #3 on:]

I was only motivated enough to read the first one but whatever. First I agree Philp_J_Fry, more jokes are needed. Second, it needs to be longer because if that were a actually segment for a show it would last all of 2 minutes...maybe.

[Reply #4 on:]

You've only read the first one, which is the shortest one. The second one is longer, and the third one is more funny. I'll have to improve my skills with my second one. Thanks for the comments on it.

[Reply #5 on:]

I think act 3 is th best out of all of them.

[Reply #6 on:]

**BUMB**

I made edits to it and here's the new copy.

Futurama
Anthology of Interest III

[Opening: “FUTURAMA” appears on screen. Theme Music begins. Underneath “FUTURAMA” appear the words on both sides of the screen “CLOSED-CAPTIONED IN STEREO”. PLANET EXPRESS SHIP flies through the hole in “R” and travels around NEW NEW YORK CITY. After a few seconds, a billboard screen is in a shot and the cartoon “Tom and Jerry” is shown on the screen. “Tom and Jerry” cuts off to show executive producers, and Planet Express ship then flies into the screen.]

Act One: Scene One-

[Fly-In on Planet Express Building Music begins. Fly in on the PLANT EXPRESS BUILDING. Cut to inside, where PROFESSOR HUBERT FARNSWORTH has the PLANET EXPRESS CREW in his lab, showing them the WHAT-IF MACHINE]

Professor: [excitedly] Good news everyone! I’ve almost completed my fixes on the What-If Machine. [Professor hits What-If Machine with a hammer] DONE! So, who wants to go first? [Crew raises hands so they can get picked]

Bender: [pushes crewmembers away so he can get to front of group] Professor, I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have people living in me. You know, like I was some sort of god. So, what if I were the Planet Express Ship.

Professor: [faces What-If Machine] What if Bender was the Planet Express Ship? [hits What-If Machine with ax and the What-If Machine begins working, but the picture breaks up. Farnsworth hits it again and it works the way it should.]

[Fade into What-If Machine screen.]

Act One: Scene Two-

[Setting: Professor has gathered the crew to the PLANET EXPRESS TABLE. Bender is missing.]

Leela: Professor?

Professor: [Professor picks up head, obviously mad] What?! I was taking a nap!

Leela: Why’d you call us here?

Professor: Oh yes, that. I’ve implanted Bender’s hard drive into the Planet Express Ship.

[Viewing area comes higher and Bender(Planet Express Ship) is hovering over the table]

Bender: Hey guys!

Act One: Scene Three-

[Setting: Planet Express Ship is leaving Citrus 9 after delivering orange cartons.]

Leela: Good job team.

Fry and Bender: Woo-hoo!

[Planet Express Ship rumbles]

Fry: What’s happening?!

Leela: [looking in mirror] It’s Space Pirates.

[Shows SPACE PIRATE CAPTIAN on Planet Express Ship screen]

Captain: Give up all ye swag.

Leela: [turning to Planet Express Ship console] Bender! What happened to the radar system and the flashy lights that come on when something’s wrong!

Bender: [mellow voice] They were bothering me, so I turned it off.

Leela: Turn it back on!

Bender: Fine. [Suddenly, flashy lights turn on the noises start up] Hey! Somebody’s hitting me with missiles! It tickles. [Bender laughs]

Leela: This isn’t the time for laughing. [Leela tries turning steering wheel] And why’s the steering wheel not working!?

r: Oh, yeah, I set that on Auto-Pilot. And as in Auto-Pilot, I mean me. And by me, I mean I turned it off.

Leela: Bender! I demand you to turn it on!

Bender: Okay, fine. [Ship lunges to the left, then Leela regains control, and starts evasive maneuvers]

[Captain returns to screen]

Captain: If ye don’t give up de swag, we’s gonna board ye ship.

[Ship rumbles after another hit]

Leela: Fire Torpedo Number 4!

Fry: Firing Torpedo Number 4!

[Torpedo lunches out of Planet Express Ship, but turns out to be a magazine]

Bender: Hey! That was my magazine!

Leela: Fry, go back to the Torpedo Haul and get Torpedo Number 4 ready.

[Fry gets up and runs to the door]

Fry: Bender! Open the door!

Bender: You got to say please.

Fry: Please. [door opens but closes on Fry, who manages to squeeze through]

[Fry continues running to the Torpedo Haul]

[Cut to Fry in Torpedo Haul. Red lights are flashing and noises are blaring. Fry tries picking up Torpedo on floor, but it weighs too much]

Fry: Bender, can you help me?

Bender: Okay. [Gravity is turned off. Cans and magazines float in the air, as well as Fry and Torpedo Number 4. Fry pushes Torpedo Number 4 into launch tunnel]

Fry: Okay! [Gravity turns on. Fry falls on the floor]

[Cuts to window showing Torpedo Number 4 traveling into Pirate Ship. Cuts to Captain in Space Pirate Ship]

Captain: Argh!

[Space Pirate Ship explodes in a dramatic display.]

Leela: Good work everybody! Now, to get home. [Ship lurches forward, but no movement] Bender!

Transition Announcer: You watched it! You can’t unwatch it! Stay tuned for more [words appear on screen after announcer says them] Tales...Of...Interest!

[Commercial break]

Act Two: Scene One-

Professor: Okay, let’s try another person to ask a question to the What-If Machine. Zoidberg--

Zoidberg: [excitedly] Me! Okay, then what if I had--

Professor: No! Not you! I want you to pick the person who will ask next.

Zoidberg: [bummed] Okay. [regular voice] Let’s see where my claw lands! [Crew backs away, except for Fry, who is poked by Zoidberg’s claw]

Fry: [surprised] Ouch! Okay. Let’s see. [pauses] I know! What if I were a wizard?

Professor: Amy, ask the What-If Machine the question! I’m not paying you to sit around all day and paint your nails!

Amy: Ugh. [walks to What-If Machine] What if Fry was a wizard?

[Fade into What-If Machine screen.]

Act Two: Scene Two-

[“Harry Potter” beginning- Viewing goes through clouds to a shot of a castle. Then, viewing goes past castle and to a smaller castle, and then a smaller castle, where the viewing goes into. During this all, Harry Potter Theme is playing.]

[Professor is dressed as Dumbledore, Leela is dressed as Hermione, Bender is dressed in a Hogwarts get-up, Fry is dressed in as Harry Potter, and Hermes is dressed as a teacher alongside Professor Farnsworth]

Professor: Hello everyone!

Fry, Bender, and Leela: Hello.

Hermes: I’ve got great news.

Fry: What is it?

Hermes: You hav’ta play wizard basketball against the otha’ house.

You know we’re not good.

Hermes: Yes, I know, but you make good money from it! And that’s good!

[PROFESSOR WERNSTROM, CUBERT, DWIGHT, and AMY enter room]

Professor: Wernstrom!

Wernstrom: Just came by to make sure you weren’t going to chicken out of the wizard basketball game.

Professor: Of course not! Why would we do that?

Wernstrom: No reason at all. Except if you were [pause] a chicken! [Wernstrom whips around with his wand and casts a spell. Professor Farnsworth begins to cluck.] [chuckle] Don’t chicken out.

Professor: Oh, that [cluck] Wernstrom. I had taught him all he [cluck] knows! And this [cluck] is how he repays me! Hermes, [cluck] fix my [cluck] voice. [Hermes casts a spell. Professor transforms into a chicken.] Hermes!

Act Two: Scene Three-

[Scene: Basketball court on a lakeside. Professor, Hermes, Fry, Leela, and Bender are at the court.]

Hermes: Now, for de basics of wizard basketball. [Fry raises hand] Yes Fry.

Fry: Is this Washington Wizard’s basketball?

Hermes: No. We ain’t playin wit dos dead beats. Dis is the ancient sport of wizard basketball. First, get yourself up in de air. [Leela enchants herself. Bender enchants himself.] Bender! You know you can’t be a wizard.

Bender: Yes I can. I’m a rozo. You know, a robot wizard.

Fry: [Fry tries to enchant self, but does the chicken voice spell] [cluck]

Hermes: [undoes Fry’s spell] Fry, try harder. The spell is only “Get ma’self up!”

Fry: Get myself up! [Fry begins to float, and then falls flat on his face]

Hermes: It’s “Get ma’self up!” not “Get myself up!”

Fry: Okay. Get ma’self up! [Fry is now levitating] Awesome! I’m flying! [right after he says that he goes into a tailspin that lands him into the net. The score counter shows “Fry--0 Visitors--0” and dings as it changes from “Fry--3 Visitors--0”]

Hermes: Okay, nicely done ya’ all.

[Wernstrom and his students come onto the court]

Professor: [getting up from his nap, as if he has a Wernstrom-sensor] Wernstrom!

Wernstrom: Get ready for the game, students.

[Fry, Leela, Bender, Amy, Cubert, and Dwight suit up for the wizard basketball game]

Hermes: Okay, students, lis’en up. De rules of de game are simple, win. [Hermes blows his whistle]

[Amy controls the tip. She passes it to Cubert. He takes it up the court. Passes it to Dwight, who pulls some Globetrotter moves on Fry on the way to the basket. Siren goes off to indicate point scored.]

Wernstrom: Ha, take that Farnsworth. Now we are 4 more baskets from winning!

[Bender takes it up the court. He puts the ball in his chest, and leisurely strolls up court and is knocked over with a spell by Cubert. Cubert picks up the ball and passes it up to Dwight for the alley-op. Fry gains possession of the ball after that. He takes it up court. Passes it to Leela, who is hit in the eye with the ball. Amy picks it up, and passes the ball to Dwight, who passes it to Cubert, who takes a two point shot.]

Wernstrom: What’s that? Oh yes, that’s 6 to nothing!

Professor: Time-out!

[Hermes blows whistle]

Professor: Okay, gather round team. [pauses] Win!

[Hermes blows whistle. He gives to ball to Leela at the sideline. Leela passes it to Bender who does a Globetrotter “roll the ball on my shoulders” trick and then passes it to Fry, who makes a lay-in. Cubert passes it to Dwight, but it’s intercepted by Fry, who passes it off the backboard to Bender, who does the glass shattering dunk.]

Bender: Oh yeah! That’s how we do it!

[Dwight passes it in to Amy, but Leela takes it away from Amy]

Amy: You broke my nail! You’ll pay! [Amy blasts a purple beam from her wand towards an unsuspecting Leela]

Hermes: [blows whistle] Hey! Dat’s not allowed! [Amy blasts beam at Hermes]

Amy: Don’t you dare break my nail again!

Hermes: [getting up] Dat’s a technical foul. Leela gets two free shots.

[Leela makes the first. Then, on the second, it hit’s the rim, and bounces out. In slow motion, Bender extends his arms and grabs the ball, passes it to Fry, who makes a three point shot.]

Hermes: [Pointing at Fry, Leela, and Bender] Dey win! [Fry, Leela, and Bender celebrate by getting a bottle of champagne out of Bender’s chest.]

[Before Transition Announcer speaks, we see the scoreboard, which reads “Team Farnsworth--8 Team Wernstrom--6 Fry--3”]

Transition Announcer: That was a very shocking. I pity the next…[words come up in Alien Crypt 1 as Transition Announcer says them] Tale…Of…Interest!

[Commercial break]

Act Three: Scene One-

Professor: Who’s next?

Leela: I’ll go. What if I were not a mutant?

Bender: [laughing] That’s a crumby question. A better question would be like, “What if I were less obnoxious?”

Leela: What if he were less obnoxious?

Professor: Great question! What if Bender were less obnoxious? [lights a string on fire that goes to the What-If Machine to start it up]

[Fades into What-If Machine screen.]

Act Three: Scene Two:

Professor: Good news everyone! I’ve made an adjustment to Bender’s hard drive so now he’s 50% less obnoxious and rude! [Bender walks in]

Bender: Hello everybody. Such a wonderful day, isn’t it?

Leela: Why yes it is Bender. Thank you for asking.

Bender: Yeah, up your butt! Ha!

Leela: [to Professor] I thought he wasn’t rude anymore.

Professor: I said it was only 50% less! Let me just tweak it a bit more. [takes out screw and turns “Obnoxious Level” screw to none] There! That should do it.

Leela: So, Bender, how are you?

Bender: I’m doing very well today, thank you. And for a treat to you all, I’ve made a special reservation to Elzar’s!

Everybody: [cheers] [all leave room]

Bender: Yes, it will be a dinner they’ll never forget. [Zoom in on Bender’s screws on his head. Shows “Obnoxious Level” as none and “Evil Level” at high]

Act Three: Scene Three-

[Setting: Zoom in on Elzar’s at sunset. Cut to the crew at a round table by a window.]

Hermes: Thank you so much for dis dinna’, Bender.

Scruffy: Yeah, Scruffy likes the dinner. [takes a bite out of his steak]

Professor: I guess that adjustment to Bender has done wonders.

Bender: Yes it has. I’d like to thank you, Professor, for this, this, this--[starts to cry]

Professor: There, there, Bender. It’s okay. Professy’s here for you.

[Suddenly, Amy falls on the table]

Professor: What happened?!

Hermes: [takes out Life/Death Reader, and it beeps twice] She’s dead.

Professor: Duh, she’s dead. I was wondering what happened to my lobster. [turns to Zoidberg] Zoidberg!

Zoidberg: What? I was just releasing the little lady to her home. [Professor begins to chase Zoidberg around the restaurant with a steak knife] Woob woob woob woob!

Hermes: [waving Dead-o-meter over Amy] It seems she died from poisoning. That means one thing -- [View turns to Bender]

Bender: What? [Professor is chasing Zoidberg in background].

Hermes: One of us has poisoned her! And I think it was-- [Hermes falls onto the floor]

Scruffy: Scruffy says he’s dead. [flips page in his magazine]

Leela: First Amy, now Hermes. Who else is going to die-- [sound of body hitting ground] Oh my! The Professor’s dead!

Zoidberg: Finally, I can take this pretty lady back to her home. [walks to tank] I see there’s a lucky lobster waiting for you, so I’ll be leaving now.

Act Three: Scene Four-

[Setting: Elzar’s at night. Cut to inside where Amy’s, Hermes’, and the Professor’s bodies are stacked up next to the wall. Zoidberg is in his Sherlock Holmes outfit]

Zoidberg: As a doctor of medical medicine, it’s quite obvious that these three are dead. Ka-put! No longer with us! Where are they? I do not know. But alive they are not!

Leela: Wait a second. If everybody is dead of food poisoning, why aren’t we?

Fry: Maybe God loves us.

Zoidberg: Perhaps, maybe, but maybe there is another answer! Perhaps it was one of us! Maybe it was you [pointing at lobster with Professor’s lobster] with your big claws, you might’ve killed them! I’ll get you for this! [pauses] Later.

Bender: Do you all want to know the real reason you’re all alive?

Leela: Wait a minute. You know why we’re all alive?

Bender: The reason is I’m pure evil now. With the obnoxious gone, I could focus on my dream; killing all humans.  And because Leela’s a mutant, she’s not dead. Because Zoidberg is an alien, he’s not dead.

Elzar: [entering in from side view] Me too! And neither is your bill. BAM! [Bender gives Elzar evil stare] Actually, I’ll just knock that guy’s bill up another notch. [shows Calculon]

Bender: And Fry’s not dead because he’s the only human    that’s ever understood me. And Scruffy lives because he’s misunderstood as well.

Leela: Well, that explains why everybody that’s a human who’s not Fry is dead. [Zoom out to show restaurant has everybody dead but Leela, Zoidberg, Fry, and Bender dead] Where is Scruffy?

Scruffy: [coming out of bathroom] What’d Scruffy miss?

[Closing Credits]

_____________________________ _________

Also, I made a fanfic that parodies the story Robot Dream by Isaac Asimov. I thought it would be better to put it in this thread rather than make its own thread.


Robot Defected

   “Last night I blew up,” said MVX-8 calmly.
   Professor Wernstrom said nothing, but his old face, old with wrinkles of experience, seemed to go through a microscopic flinch.
   “Did you hear that?” said Wenda Itch, nervously. “It’s as I told you.” She was large, light-haired, and old. At 100, she wasn’t too old, being that Wernstrom was 120 and young himself. Her left hand closed and opened, over and over.
   Wernstrom nodded. He said, quietly, “Emvex, you will not move nor speak nor hear us until I say your name again.”
   There was no answer. The robot started to rumble and slowly began twitching its head, until, in a small explosion, it blew up.
   Wernstrom said, “What is your computer password? Or may you enter the code yourself, to make you comfortable. I want to inspect the positronic brain pattern.”
   Itch fumbled her hands on a disc, inserted it into the computer, and the hologram that was the robot’s brain pattern showed.
   Wernstrom said, surprisingly, “There’s nothing wrong with the brain.” He examined the hologram even further. “What’s this?” he said, pointing at something at the back of the brain with his fing-longer.
   Wenda told her teacher, “That is the wire connecting his brain to the power source.”
   The teacher told her student,
“That’s where it should be, but the look of the wire is unusual to that of a regular salesbot’s.”
   MVX-8 was classified into the salesbot robot class. He sold used carscars at Malfunctioning Eddy’s Used Cars. In fact, he was Malfunctioning Eddy. MVX-8 is just the codename for him.
   “That’s because I used a different kind of power. I used the atomic power system,” said Itch.
   “The atomic power system! You know that the system in which alcohol replaces water in the atomic power process is only used in complex robots,” said the teacher. One use of the system was in Project Satan. He proved too evil to use the regular system of alcohol consumption by robots for power, but afterwards, the constructors found out the new system was too evilly powerful for such a robot. The second use was in the Robot Devil. Though the car project was too evil, the constructors of the Robot Devil felt like this was appropriate for such a project. This time, it was successful. “Just because it’s worked once doesn’t mean it’ll work again. Plus, those were evil models. Emvex is a salesbot.”
   “I thought the addition would make him even slyer,” stated the student.
   “No, this made him blow up when surprised. The brain pattern with the instability of urectrium causes a meltdown of the radioactive substance, forming an explosion.”
   “Are you going to shut it down?”
   “No,” said the teacher. “It may prove too valuable to dismantle. I’m in the market for a used car and his prices are insanely low.”

[Reply #7 on:]

All three of the stories sort of petered out, which I didn't like.  Maybe it was because the stories themselves were so short, and maybe it was that the plot arcs seemed to abruptly die after reaching the peak (more so than the actual AOI stories).  Adding old jokes from the series didn't help.  There are fairly good concepts at work in your AOI, but the execution is flawed.