John Pannozzi
Starship Captain
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« on: 01-05-2005 18:14 »
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Okay, this story is short, has very little to do with Futurama, but I really, really want to get out my feelings towards Dreamworks and Wal*Mart. To give Dreamworks a little credit, they distribute Ardmann Animations of "Wallace and Gromit" fame films, Antz was okay I guess, I liked Shrek and the songs (but not the score) in the film (I'm actually listening to the Shrek soundtrack on the computer as I type this), and Shrek 2 could have been far worse (but was still perhaps the worse 2004 movie I saw in theaters). None of the actors or actresses in Dreamwork's CGI films (except for Jim Cummings) could come close to equaling the greatness of Pinto Colvig, Mel Blanc, Stan Freberg, June Foray, Daws Butler, Don Messick, Jean Vander Pyl, Clarence Nash, Tony Anselmo, Paul Winchell, Frank Welker, Sterling Holloway, Paul Frees, Bill Scott, Russi Taylor, Terence McGovern, Hamilton Camp, Hal Smith, Alan Young, Tress MacNeille, Charlie Adler, Keith David, Bill Fagerbakke, Ed Asner, Jeff Glen Bennett, Rodger Bumpass, Maurice LaMarche, Kate Soucie, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Dan Castellaneta, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer, Phil Hartman, Kelsey Grammer, Jon Lovitz, Jess Harnell, Rob Paulsen, Nathan Lane, Charles Fleschier, Joe Alasky, Christopher Lloyd, Gregg Berger, Catherine O'Hara, E. G. Dailey, Candi Milo, Howie Mandel, Tara Strong, Carlos A., Tom Kenny, Doug Lawrence, John Kricfalusi, Billy West, Cheryl Chase, Phil LaMarr, Harvey Atkin, John Stocker, Richard Steven Horowitz, Nick Bakay, Clancy Brown, Mark Hamill, Katey Sagal, Lauren Tom, Dave Herman, George Lowe, Clay Martin Croker, Andy Merill, Matt Maelello, Dave Willis, Mary Kay Bergman, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Christopher Sabat, Daran Norris, Susan Blaksee, Grey DeLise, Jess Harnell, Seth MacFarlene, Alex Borstein, John DiMaggio, Michelle Fahn and others. The people making Dreamworks's CGI films couldnever be as masterfull as Otto Messmer, Dave and Max Flescher, Walt Disney, Ub Iwerks, Friz Freleng, Tex Avery, Bob Clampett, Robert, Tom and Charles McKimson, Chuck Jones, Bill Hanna, Joe Barbera, Osamu Tezuka, Shotaro Ishimori, Ralph Bakshi, Ishiro Honda, Akira Kurosawa, Eiji Tsuburaya, Charles Schaltz, Dr. Suess, Hiyao Miyazaki, Matt Groening, Mike Reiss, David X. Cohen, John Kricfalusi, Bruce Timm, Paul Dini, Joel Hodgson, Mike Nelson, Butch Hartman, Genndy Tarkowsky, Paul Rudish, Craig McCracken, Maxwell Atoms, Jhonen Vasquez, Joe Dante and Tim Burton.
The Dreamworks/WalMart Alliance of Pure Evil
By John Pannozzi
One faithful day, Dreamworks and WalMart merged, and few people could imagine the terror they would unleash upon the world. Few people know that Dreamworks is an evil (as apposed to just being greedy like Microsoft, Disney, Warner, Viacom, and to a lesser extent, Nintendo and Sony) that wanted to rule the animation industry with an iron fist. Many people think Dreamworks is superior to Disney, but the Disney Company was created out of Walt Disney and Roy Disney Sr. and Ub Iwerks’s desires to entertain and touch the hearts of people. Dreamworks was created out of Jeff Katzenberg, Steven Spielberg (who used to be good and maybe there's still hope for him now that he's going to direct Jurassic Park IV and co-produce an upcoming live-action Transformers movie, but he seems to have gone over to the dark side now that he's more interested in ruining his own films and making war films instead of executive producing very entertaining movies and TV series like Gremlins, Back to the Future, Roger Rabbit, Tiny Toons, Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain) and some other guy's desires to spite Disney. Disney may have been greedy and people have had fatal accidents at their parks, but they never stooped as low as to advertise for WalMart, a company who is extremely cruel to their own employees (ex.: an employee asked his supervisor something, and the supervisor, in front of his bosses strangled the poor guy and told him to "shut the fuck up!".). Dreamworks wanted people to think Disney was like the Empire, ruling the animation industry (at least in the USA) instead of the universe, and they (Dreamworks) were like the Rebel Alliance, when in reality, it was very opposite. Trey Parker, Matt Stone and the rest of the people at South Park Studios tried to make people see how evil Spielberg’s ruining of his own movies and WalMart’s dominance in the retail industry was, but they weren’t taken seriously enough. WalMart had previously killed the K-Mart/Sears alliance, as industry prophets had predicted. The Dreamworks/WalMart obliterated News Corp., Disney, Time-Warner, Microsoft, Apple, Pixar, Marvel, Viacom, Sony, Spumco, Bongo, Mirage Comics, Atari/Hasbro, Takara, Konami, Capcom, Sammy/SEGA, Namco, Nintendo, SNK, Square-Enix, Toho, Toei, Daiei, Studio Ghilbi, and even Dreamworks’s own parent company, Universal. Because the Dreamworks/WalMart top brass (legal business people) didn’t care at all for the other companies’ histories, their works were destroyed. Turanga Leela died before she was born. The only surviving Futurama character was Bender who was so horrified by the death of his only friends that gave out his sinful ways for good and became a warrior of justice and truth.
[Joel] what do you think, sirs? [/Joel]
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