Lord of the Movies: The Return of the Review Thread

[Reply #480 on:]

Garden State:

I went go go see it today and i was very impressed. It was shot in the artsy "Eternal Sunshine/ 21 Grams" style. It was a great movie, and i seriously believe Natalie Portman could win Best Actress at the Oscars for her role. A very great story and an excellent romance.

A+

[Reply #481 on:]

 

Originally posted by David A:
Underworld
Fifth, ultraviolet bullets.  How does that work, exactly?  An ultraviolet light that kills vampires, that I could see; but bullets filled with ultraviolet light?  Why not just say that they were filled with Sunny Delight?  I mean, that would kill vampires, because Sunny D contains the power of the sun, right?

Great, now you've spoiled the sequel for me!

Underworld rocks for it's terrible-ness. It's almost Battlefield Earth bad. I mean good. And it has sexy people! Sexy people! Come on, you don't like sexy, lazy rich people in goth outfits?

[Reply #482 on:]

Also, that movie had a Maserati in it!  That's ten seconds worth watching right there!  Even though she's just parking it...

[Reply #483 on:]

The Bourne Supremecy.
I tried to rent Bourne Identity so this things would make more sense, both the damn dvd-rental DVD were out.
I think I picked up on the plot of the first film, without giving too much of it away, so I can still look at it as a prequel!
I haven't read any of the books (any other films based on Ludlum books that I should know about?) but I realy liked this badass-assassin stuff, especially Karl Urban.
I was trying to place his face through the whole film and halfway through I was like, "Holy Crap! It's Eomer!" 
The shaky camera didn't get overly annoying even though during the car chase there were some frames of film that just went in one eye and out the other, so to speak, I couldn't distinguish one smashed car from another!
I was surprised at how few lines Matt Damon had, maybe its a good thing.
Brian Cox plays the creepy badguy you want to smack as usual, and Joan Allen who I last saw in Face/Off (  ) was good enough.
The storyline reminds me of the Hitman series on the PC.
A

[Reply #484 on:]

 

Originally posted by VelourFog:
Great, now you've spoiled the sequel for me!

But will Sunny D be enough to defeat the mysterious Purple Stuff?  Only time will tell.

 

Underworld rocks for it's terrible-ness. It's almost Battlefield Earth bad. I mean good. And it has sexy people! Sexy people! Come on, you don't like sexy, lazy rich people in goth outfits?

 

 

Originally posted by canned eggs:
Also, that movie had a Maserati in it!  That's ten seconds worth watching right there!  Even though she's just parking it...

Maserati... That's some kind of car, right?

Sorry, but I didn't really notice what kind of car vampire girl was driving.  I was too distracted by her piss-poor acting, her silly outfit, and that stupid blue filter to pay any attention to her car.

[Reply #485 on:]

I thought at least that Victor's accent was worth a laugh.
But, yeah. Waste of seven bucks, that. If I want sexy lazy rich people lounging around in nice outfits, well.. half of my manga collection focuses on just that.

[Reply #486 on:]

"I love you
...

...

...

like a daughter."

[Reply #487 on:]

Which one was Victor again?  Aside from vampire girl, I really couldn't tell any of the characters apart.

Speaking of accents, I thought that vampire girl's British accent was pretty laughable, until someone told me that she's British in real life, and that's her real accent.

[Reply #488 on:]

Victor is candidate for worst death ever, in that he becomes three inches shorter near the end of the movie and makes the audience giggle.

[Reply #489 on:]

I think the one of the best deaths ever is the guy on the stairway in "Out of sight."

[Reply #490 on:]

 

Originally posted by EvilLunch:
Victor is candidate for worst death ever, in that he becomes three inches shorter near the end of the movie and makes the audience giggle.

Yeah, I liked that trick better when I saw it in Ice Pirates.

[Reply #491 on:]

 

Originally posted by VelourFog:
Underworld rocks for it's terrible-ness. It's almost Battlefield Earth bad. I mean good. And it has sexy people! Sexy people! Come on, you don't like sexy, lazy rich people in goth outfits?

Nope, because it influences pale, spotty, skinny, anti-social twats to do the same.

Both this movie and Razor Blade Smile (never ever see that movie, ever!), insite my irrational hatred of goths.

[Reply #492 on:]

Hair

The only reason I saw this is that Milos Forman (Amadeus, The People vs Larry Flint) directed it and he's one of my favourites.  Not that I have anything against musicals per se, but the film's incredibly dated.  Movies about hippies just don't seem as timely today.  Plus, there's a reson people only remember 4 of the songs: Age of Aquarius, the title song, Good Morning Starshine & Let the Sun Shine In.  Reason 1 is some group in the sixties had a hit with a meledy of Aquarius" and "Sun Shine In", and reason 2 is the title song and "Starshine" were featured on The Simpsons.

Also, the film had Treat Williams singing and dancing.  And he actually wasn't half bad, which somehow made it worse.

So while the whole wasn't that great, there were some good parts.  It had good acting, a very strong ending, and excellent choreography (sp?).  I give it a C+.  Now get a haircut!

[Reply #493 on:]

The Bourne Identity
Hooray! I got to see it while the 2nd one was still fresh in my mind! 

Anyway, this one rocked too, the story wasn't hard to follow (may be easier if you see the sequel first  ).
I still see parallels with the Hitman PC series, and I wouldn't be surprised if they make a Bourne PC game.

I'm looking forward to The Bourne Ultimatum, there's a good chance it could be a great little trilogy.
A

[Reply #494 on:]

I also just saw AVP and while it was better than a poke in they eye, it's not much better.

There is practically no story, and I couldn't care less about any of the characters.  Only go see it if you want to see the fighting- which was OK.


-cris

[Reply #495 on:]

Garden State
Excellent debut film from director/writer Zach Braff.  He and Natalie Portman are pitch-perfect, and the dialogue is amazing.  The only thing that bothered me was the ending.  The last few scenes didn't seem to fit very well with the rest of the film, and Ian Holm had this look about him that screamed, "Okay, I'm reading this idiot's lines.  Can I have my money now?"  I highly recommend it, but just know that the ending is inconsistent with the bulk of the film.

Frida
Why didn't Salma Hayek get an Oscar for this?  Oh, that's right...no fake nose.  She does have a monobrow, but I guess that's not "ugly" enough.  Anyway, I don't know how accurate this film is, but even if it's all fictional, it's a damn fine movie.  Gorgeous and grotesque at once, it's heartbreaking and a joy to watch.  If you're not into the "art stuff" (even though this is fairly mainstream), you can play 'spot the cameo' with Ashley Judd and Edward Norton.  And who doesn't adore that hospital scene by the Brothers Quay?

[Reply #496 on:]

 

Originally posted by BumbleBeeTheta:
Frida
Why didn't Salma Hayek get an Oscar for this?  Oh, that's right...no fake nose.  She does have a monobrow, but I guess that's not "ugly" enough.

I really, really dislike Salma Hayek's acting style. She always has to be doing something with her hands or her face when she's talking. It's annoying. I'm glad she didn't won the Oscar, I wouldn't even nominated her.

[Reply #497 on:]

Simply this:

Kill Bill vol. 2
When When The Bride gets to her destination, the person she's driving to right now, she is going to kill him. And that man's Bill. In other words... this movie rocks.

[Reply #498 on:]

I saw Bourne Supremecy last night and really enjoyed it. I thought it was a great film. The shaky camera was ever so slightly over done in my mind, but otherwise, excellent.
My dad's read the trilogy - trust me (or him) the films are now completely detatched from the books.
Also, I knew Karl Urban rang a bell, but Eomer!?!   
 

Also saw recently

Starsky & Hutch
Probably the best remake of a TV show I've seen. Had a few niggly points, but otherwise a good enjoyable film.

A-

X-men 2
Or X-2 or something.
Really really liked, left me much more in anticipation for the next one than the first one did. CGI really added to the story rather than replaced it here I think.

A

Finding Nemo
Beautful film. Expertly done and virtually flawless. Possibly all-round funniest Pixar yet.

A

[Reply #499 on:]

Zed: I saw Starsky & Hutch recently too! What are you, stalking and watching the same stuff as me?!?! 

I never wathced the series so I've no point of reference but I didn't think this was a great film. 
I laughed allright, but mostly at whacky Will Ferrell and Snoop Dogg Vince Vaughn shouldn't really be in comedies, he's not funny!
And I was almost sure the Police Captain in it was Richard Roundtree! Weird.
B-

[Reply #500 on:]

 

Originally posted by Zed 85:
I saw Bourne Supremecy last night and really enjoyed it. I thought it was a great film. The shaky camera was ever so slightly over done in my mind, but otherwise, excellent.

Agreed.

I saw The Bourne Supremacy yesterday and enjoyed it.  Nice continuation from the first film.  Nice also to see lots of nods to the books, bad guys are good guys and there's a couple of twists in there.

Great performance my Matt Damon, played without a hint of emotion, great, Bourne is a calculated, cold blooded killer.  Nice to see him portrayed as such.

One complaint/request for Part III:

Can we have more Julia Stiles, please!

[Reply #501 on:]

Any excuse to ramble about Frida: The Brothers Quay are awesome, and Salma's acting style might be grating but in this case it fits the character.
I don't find the one brow to be ugly at all. It only exemplifies her odd beauty, her amalgamation of male and female qualities.
Then again, I have strange taste..

[Reply #502 on:]

Can somebody explain the plots of 'The Borne Identity' and 'The Borne Supremacy' for me? I've seen the first one but all I can remember is him with amnesia and a fight with an assassin at some point.

[Reply #503 on:]

Show spoiler

Identity: He was an uber-assassin, sent to kill a former dictator chap (the black guy, forget his name).
But he failed the mission, got shot twice in the back in the process and ended up floating around the ocean with amnesia until a fishing boat picked him up. The doctor on the boat finds a little implant in his hip that displays an address of a bank in Zurich (I think) so thats his only lead and he goes there.
Add to this, the group that trained him/gives the missions tries to kill him for failing and a few national police forces chasing his ass, he's pretty much occupied for the whole film.
Also, he meets a girl who helps him and ends up running with him.

Supremecy: After he thinks he takes down the group who was trying to kill him in Identity, he hides and lives with the girl who helped him in India, but he's still woozy from amnesia and having flashbacks or dreams about missions he did.

Anyway, it turns out the guy who was in charge of the assassin-training group is still a corrupt bastard and is doing some nasty deals with another guy involving oil companies or something and he tries to frame Bourne for stealing some files important to his evil scheme, so he gets another assassin the steal them and make it look like Bourne did it and he kills the two guys with the files. Then he tries to kill Bourne so the cops/CIA will be chasing a dead guy, but he fails and Bourne tries to find out what the hell's going on so he ends up running around Europe again from different baddies while simultaneously trying to bring them down.

I loved both movies.

[Reply #504 on:]

 

Originally posted by EvilLunch:
Any excuse to ramble about Frida: The Brothers Quay are awesome, and Salma's acting style might be grating but in this case it fits the character.
I don't find the one brow to be ugly at all. It only exemplifies her odd beauty, her amalgamation of male and female qualities.
Then again, I have strange taste..

BumbleBee Theta and EL have good taste in movies  strange/aberrant isn't a bad thing.

I found it eerie how much Salma looked like Frida and yet she was undeniably sexy. She was particuarly annoying and overacting in Dogma, but I felt her acting was toned down in Frida. I'd have to give it a second watching though

[Reply #505 on:]

 

Originally posted by alenacat:
I found it eerie how much Salma looked like Frida and yet she was undeniably sexy. She was particuarly annoying and overacting in Dogma, but I felt her acting was toned down in Frida. I'd have to give it a second watching though

Salma did looked like Frida and I think she was probably the best choice to play her, but I still don't like her acting. It may fit the character, but she's always dancing around or looking at the sky or moving her hands in every movie she's in. Why can't she just be a little more subtle?
Probably it's not a big problem for others, but I prefer the more subtle approach to acting. I like overacting when it's done right, like Daniel Day-Lewis in GONY but I just don't like Salma.

[Reply #506 on:]

You don't need me to tell you that Hero rocks, so I won't actually review it.  But I'm trying to understand the political slant of the film.  Zhang Yimou has a history of making films that on the surface flatter the state, but are critical and subversive in intent, like Qiu Ju. 

Hero seems to have this going on, too.  The narrative at the end resolves on a note that seems meant to justify the tyranny and conquest of the formation of the Chinese state, but throughout the film the Emperor and his army are visually presented as Star Wars-type villains.  I don't want to give anything away, but I believe Zhang Yimou intended the film to be subversive.  I'm sort of looking for the note of satire in the final revelation about "tien sha" and not finding it anywhere obvious.

I found one article on the net discussing the issue, but it's not super helpful.  This link has plot spoilers, so don't click if you don't want to ruin the mysteries.

I also see one reading of the "tien sha" narrative that's very cynical about kung fu itself.  In kung fu movies, kung fu is always seen as subversive, and it's always taken for granted that it's a good thing in and of itself, and when people begin waxing poetic about the real meaning of kung fu and unity with your enemies and such, it's bound to be a real liberal position, but in Hero, it's used for explicitly fascist purposes.  That's creepy, to me.  I'm a firm believer in the 1970's Chang Cheh "kill the Qings" kung fu as a force for good in the universe. 

When you think about it, wanting to replace one hereditary dynasty with another isn't very subversive at all.  But restoring the Mings isn't about who's on the throne; it's about revolution, and overthrowing the local political control the Manchus had over the jiang hu underworld in the south.  And I want to believe that Hero is the same.

[Reply #507 on:]

Lost in Translation
Ha! Those crazy Japanese and all sorts of antics make Bill Murray all confused and stuff, then he meets another confused Westener (who ain't too bad on the eyes!) and they become friends and hang around a bit so they don't go mental, it's really simple.
Obviously it's meant to point that all modern life is silly, not just in Japan, and that if you meet someone you can understand more than your family or friends, hang on to them.   
A-

Edited because of a bold tagging catastrophe.

[Reply #508 on:]

Yeah.  It's unfortunate that many people have seized on the "Japanese so craazy" aspect of the film and derided it as racist.  What a crock of shit. 

I've been to Japan, and had the experience of being a big white guy there, and I was astonished at the dead-on-ness of the tiniest observations, like the sea of heads at Bill Murray's shoulder level in the elevator.

[Reply #509 on:]

No, the complete purpose of "Lost in Translation" is to show that Scarlett Johansson has a nice butt.  And should walk around in a tank-top and pink panties more often.  Yes, exactly.

I'm sure there are other aspects to the film, but I can't seem to remember them right now.

No, seriously, I loved the film. Even non-panties parts.

[Reply #510 on:]

I seem to be the only person in the house that gets that movie. Mom and Dad fell asleep 1/3 of the way through[and missed the awesome strip club scene].
I guess I just have 'more intensity.'

[Reply #511 on:]

Same problem here. No one gets this movie. They think it's plotless and uninteresting and not funny. For me it's completely the opposite (well, it is kinda plotless, but that's not really the most important aspect of the movie). It has obvious influences from directors from the French New Wave and I could also see a very strong influence from Antonioni. It's like a modern adaptation of the old European movies with its deliberate slow pacing and underacting, with Japan and Bill Murray thrown into the mix. 

[Reply #512 on:]

It didn't help that the TV commercials all portrayed it as some big-laugh comedy, when it really was more understated throughout. A little truth in advertising would have been nice.

That said, once I got over the fact that this wasn't some "Bill Murray's in Japan and it's all CRAZY!" flick, I enjoyed it. I think it did a great job of conveying what it feels like to be alone in one of the biggest cities in the world.

[Reply #513 on:]

I thought it was good, but all this stuff about feelings doesn't feel right... or something...
I mean guys are only allowed to watch movies where someone cries if they've just seen that someone's entire family shot, hanged and chopped up into little bits.

I know that isn't true, but I've been brainwashed by society and I can't get it out of my head. Maybe I should get some sleep...

[Reply #514 on:]

Awh, Termos. I think someone needs a pint of Ben and Jerry's and my copy of Thelma and Louise.
Loosen up! When you watch a movie, it doesn't matter who the target audience is, or what genre it falls into. It just matters if it affects you. Violent movies are fun, but so are Dramas and Romances.. So throw away your preconceptions!

[Reply #515 on:]

A guy cries in this movie? I don't remember anything like that. Scarlett Johansson cries in a scene, but it's far from being a big crying moment.

[Reply #516 on:]

There's still a lot of stuff about feelings, and I think that scared many guys off. But EvilLunch is right of course, and I still think the movie was good. And so is Thelma and Louise, by the way...

[Reply #517 on:]

Of course Thelma and Louise is good. I mean, they kill a guy...

[Reply #518 on:]

Quick hit reviews of movies I watched from the projection booth:

A Cinderella Story: Maybe I've completely overestimated the shallowness of today's average public school student, but I would think that if a girl looked like Hillary Duff, she'd have at least one boy trying to get into her pants other than Spaceman Neo.  Also, you can tell she's never swung a bat in her life.

Thunderbirds: Ben Kingsley, what on earth are you doing in this?  Commander Riker, please stop directing movies, or do I have to say "make it so" to make you stop?

Dodgeball: I'm pretty sure I've seen the whole thing, and I'd have to say it's pretty funny.  I just can't get over the nerd from Galaxy Quest hooking up with a cheerleader, though.  And I certainly liked it better than what I've seen of ...

Anchorman (about half of it, anyway): Only two parts really made me laugh out loud.  Jack Black's cameo, and "Go fuck yourself, San Diego."  Tim Robbins' 'fro got a chuckle, but I wasn't buying Ben Stiller as a Latino for a second.

[Reply #519 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nixorbo:
Anchorman (about half of it, anyway): Only two parts really made me laugh out loud.  Jack Black's cameo, and "Go fuck yourself, San Diego."  Tim Robbins' 'fro got a chuckle, but I wasn't buying Ben Stiller as a Latino for a second.

You didn't find Steve Carell funny at all???

"I love... carpet. [pause] I love... desk."
"Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?"
"I love lamp."
"Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?"
"I love lamp! I love lamp..."