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Author Topic: The Great Quote Thread  (Read 7460 times)
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Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
« Reply #280 on: 11-03-2001 13:27 »

They won't take you to the vet
you obviously not their favourite pet
for you life's no bed of roses
'cause your no friend of those with noses
Smelly cat
Smel-ly cat

Space Pope
« Reply #281 on: 11-04-2001 04:33 »

'out! out! brief candle life but a
walking shadow, a poor player
but stuck and fret his hour upon
the stage and then is heard no more.
His a tale told by an idiot full of sound
and fury dignifies nothing.'
This is an excellent quote to learn if you are studying Macbeth.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #282 on: 11-04-2001 12:51 »

To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune;
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them: to die, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to; 'Tis a consumation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to dream; Aye, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life:
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would these fardles bear
To grunt and sweat under a weary life --
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country, from whose bourn
No traveler returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
Than fly to others that we know not of.
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment,
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action..

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
« Reply #283 on: 11-04-2001 20:22 »

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.
M. Proctor

Starship Captain
« Reply #284 on: 11-05-2001 11:53 »

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
Did I say that loud?

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #285 on: 11-05-2001 14:30 »

Porter 1: Bad guy falls in poop, classic element of physical comedey.  Now comes the part where we throw our heads back and laugh.  Ready?

Other porters: Ready!

All:  Hahaha!

--"George of the Jungle"

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #286 on: 11-05-2001 15:33 »

Sorry to correct Rach [unless there is an alternate version]:

Out, out Brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

It is a great quote  smile

« Reply #287 on: 11-06-2001 12:23 »

Were trying captin. But we dun't have the puver.
(or something like that.)

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #288 on: 11-06-2001 21:30 »

The devil went down to Georgia
He was looking for a soul to steal
And he was in a bind
'Cause he was way behind
And was willin' to make a deal.

When he came upon this young man playing
a fiddle and playin' it hot
the devil jumped up on a hickory
stump and said,
"Boy let me tell you what:

I bet you didn't know it
but I'm a fiddle player too,
And if you care to take a dare
I'll make a bet with you
Now you play a pretty good fiddle boy
But give the devil his due
I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul
'Cause I think I'm better than you."

The boy said, "My name's Johnny
And it might be a sin
But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret
'Cause I'm the best that's ever been."

Johnny you rosin up your bow and play your
fiddle hard 'Cause hell's broke loose in Georgia
And the devil deals the cards
And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold
But if you lose the devil gets your soul.

The devil opened up his case and he said,
"I'll start this show."
And fire flew from his fingertips

As he rosined up his bow
And he pulled the bow across the strings
And it made an evil hiss
Then a band of demons joined in
And it sounded something like this

When the devil finished Johnny said,
"Well you're pretty good ol' son!
But sit down in that chair right there
And let me show you how it's done!"

Fire on the mountain, run boys run
Devil's in the house of the rising sun
Chickens in the breadpan, picking out dough
Granny does your dog bite? No, child, no

The devil bowed his head
Because he knew that he'd been beat,
And he laid that golden fiddle
On the ground at Johnny's feet
Johnny said, "Devil, just come on back
if you ever wanna try again.
I done told you once,
You son-of-a-bitch,
I'm the best that's ever been!"

He played:
Fire on the mountain, run boys run
Devil's in the house of the rising sun
Chickens in the breadpan, picking out dough
Granny does your dog bite? No, child, no

Space Pope
« Reply #289 on: 11-07-2001 05:04 »

Oops, tweek, you're right. I don't know how I got 'stuck' that's very silly indeed.
Let me try something a little easier.
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream
Flahback to drama!

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
« Reply #290 on: 11-07-2001 16:53 »

I'm a fanatical marxist, well the Groucho-kind, you know.  big grin So a few from "Duck Soup"

Rufus T. Firefly: "Not that I care, but where is your husband?"
Mrs. Teasdale: "Why, he's dead."
Rufus T. Firefly: "I bet he's just using that as an excuse."
Mrs. Teasdale: "I was with him to the very end."
Rufus T. Firefly: "No wonder he passed away."
Mrs. Teasdale: "I held him in my arms and kissed him."
Rufus T. Firefly: "Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first."

Rufus T. Firefly: "I'd be unworthy of the high trust that's been placed in me if I didn't do everything in my power to keep our beloved Freedonia in peace with the world. I'd be only too happy to meet with Ambassador Trentino, and offer him on behalf of my country the right hand of good fellowship. And I feel sure he will accept this gesture in the spirit of which it is offered. But suppose he doesn't. A fine thing that'll be. I hold out my hand and he refuses to accept. That'll add a lot to my prestige, won't it? Me, the head of a country, snubbed by a forgein ambassador. Who does he think he is, that he can come here, and make a sap of me in front of all my people? Think of it - I hold out my hand and that hyena refuses to accept. Why, the cheap ball-pushing swine, he'll never get away with it I tell you, he'll never get away with it!" (Trentino enters) "So, you refuse to shake hands with me, eh?"
(slaps Trentino with his glove)

Rufus T. Firefly: "Dig trenches, with our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made. Here, run out and get some trenches. Wait a minute, get them this high (gestures to his chin) and our soldiers won't need any pants. Wait a minute, get them this high (gestures over his head) and we won't need any soldiers.

totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
« Reply #291 on: 11-07-2001 17:40 »

Originally posted by rach_the_tall:
'Just one more thing before the disco. Holly tells me he's sensed a non-human life form on board.'
'It's Rimmer'
'We don't know what it is -- so be careful.'
'I'm turning you in, Rimmer.'

"You want to visit the King of the potoato people, on a magic carpet, to plead for your freedom, and you're telling me that I'M crazy?"

"Superficial is my middle name!"

"I'm bleeding an unfashionable colour!"

"Si, Si Mr. Fawlty. I know nothing."

Death Robot: "And then we must go to a party"
Zaphod B: "Can I come?"
Death Robot: "No. And now we are going to shoot you"
Zaphod B:*waggles gun* "oh yeah?"
Death Robot: "Yes" *shoots*
Zaphod B: *Looks surprised but remains standing*
Death Robot: * shoots again*
Zaphod B: *falls over*

"Are they going to feed me?"
"They're going to feed you.....into the Total Perspective Vortex!"
Zaphod, having heard of most of the fun things in the Galaxy, assumed that this was NOT fun.

-TTFN-    roll eyes   roll eyes   roll eyes   roll eyes


Space Pope
« Reply #292 on: 11-10-2001 01:07 »

Jake Morgendorfer does not repeat himself! Does not repeat himself!

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
« Reply #293 on: 11-10-2001 19:12 »

(Knock at the door, sergeant enters, and salutes.)

Sergeant: (John Cleese) Two civilian gentlemen to see you ... sir!

Colonel: Show them in please, sergeant.

Sergeant: Mr Dino Vercotti and Mr Luigi Vercotti.

(The Vercotti brothers enter. They wear Mafia suits and dark glasses.)

Dino: (Terry Jones) Good morning, Colonel.

Colonel: Good morning gentlemen. Now what can I do for you.

Luigi: (Michael Palin) (looking round office casually) You've ... you've got a nice army base here, Colonel.

Colonel: Yes.

Luigi: We wouldn't want anything to happen to it.

Colonel: What?

Dino: No, what my brother means is it would be a shame if... (he knocks something off mantel)

Colonel: Oh.

Dino: Oh sorry, Colonel.

Colonel: Well don't worry about that. But please do sit down.

Luigi: No, we prefer to stand, thank you, Colonel.

Colonel: All right. All right. But what do you want?

Dino: What do we want, ha ha ha.

Luigi: Ha ha ha, very good, Colonel.

Dino: The Colonel's a joker, Luigi.

Luigi: Explain it to the Colonel, Dino.

Dino: How many tanks you got, Colonel?

Colonel: About five hundred altogether.

Luigi: Five hundred! Hey!

Dino: You ought to be careful, Co1onel.

Colonel: We are careful, extremely careful.

Dino: 'Cos things break, don't they?

Colonel: Break?

Luigi: Well everything breaks, don't it Colonel. (he breaks something on desk) Oh dear.

Dino: Oh see my brother's clumsy Colonel, and when he gets unhappy he breaks things. Like say, he don't feel the army's playing fair by him, he may start breaking things, Colonel.

Colonel: What is all this about?

Luigi: How many men you got here, Colonel?

Colonel: Oh, er ... seven thousand infantry, six hundred artillery, and er, two divisions of paratroops.

Luigi: Paratroops, Dino.

Dino: Be a shame if someone was to set fire to them.

Colonel: Set fire to them?

Luigi: Fires happen, Colonel.

Dino: Things burn.

Colonel: Look, what is all this about?

Dino: My brother and I have got a little proposition for you Colonel.

Luigi: Could save you a lot of bother.

Dino: I mean you're doing all right here aren't you, Colonel?

Luigi: Well suppose some of your tanks was to get broken and troops started getting lost, er, fights started breaking out during general inspection, like.

Dino: It wouldn't be good for business would it, Colonel?

Colonel: Are you threatening me?

Dino: Oh, no, no, no.

Luigi: Whatever made you think that, Colonel?

Dino: The Colonel doesn't think we're nice people, Luigi.

Luigi: We're your buddies, Colonel.

Dino: We want to look after you.

Colonel: Look after me?

Luigi: We can guarantee you that not a single armoured division will get done over for fifteen bob a week.

Colonel: No, no, no.

Luigi: Twelve and six.

Colonel: No, no, no.

Luigi: Eight and six ... five bob...

Bending Unit
« Reply #294 on: 11-10-2001 19:43 »

"It's funny, but all the heart does is pump blood!" -a kid at school.

« Reply #295 on: 11-12-2001 11:17 »

Chandler: I'm gonna KICK his ass.
WILL you help me?!


Space Pope
« Reply #296 on: 11-12-2001 13:49 »

"Respect the cruller, and tame the donut."

Hmm, I think I'll make that my new sig.


Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
« Reply #297 on: 11-12-2001 18:43 »

Just saw "A Few Good Men" tonight. That last scene in the courtroom has some great quotes:

Col. Nathan Jessup: "You want answers?"
Lt. Daniel Kaffee: "I think I'm entitled."
Col. Nathan Jessup: "You want answers?"
Lt. Daniel Kaffee: "I want the truth!"
Col. Nathan Jessup: "You can't handle the truth!"

Col. Nathan Jessup: "Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls happen to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of our life spent defending something, you use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a riffle and stand at post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to."

Col. Nathan Jessup: "HAve you ever served in an infantry unit, son?"
Lt. Daniel Kafee: "No, sir."
Col. Nathan Jessup: "Ever served in a forward area?"
Lt. Daniel Kafee: "No, sir."
Col. Nathan Jessup: "Ever put your life in another mans hands, and asked him to put his life in yours?"
Lt. Daniel Kafee: "No, sir."
Col. Nathan Jessup: "We follow orders son. We follow orders, or people die. It's that simple. Are we clear?"
Lt. Daniel Kafee: "Yes, sir."
Col. Nathan Jessup: "ARE WE CLEAR?"
Lt. Daniel Kafee: "Crystal."

Don't confuse not caring with not knowing!

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #298 on: 12-05-2001 08:35 »

We would have accepted "bow wow" or "ruff."
Ah, rough, just the way your mother likes it, Trebek.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #299 on: 12-05-2001 08:50 »

Roland Tembo: You, sir, are hardly a gentleman.
Obnoxious Tourist: Is that supposed to be some kind of insult?
Roland Tembo: I can think of none greater.

--The Lost World: Jurassic Park

Space Pope
« Reply #300 on: 12-07-2001 00:02 »

"She won't even let me have milk! sweet, innocent milk! Got milk? not Jakey!"

(uses hand to imitate phone)"Oh hi Eric! What's that? You've got a hangnail? I'll be right over!"

Bending Unit
« Reply #301 on: 12-07-2001 02:23 »

god didn't create rambo, i created rambo!  big grin


DOOP Secretary
« Reply #302 on: 12-07-2001 02:59 »

From Jurassic Park:

That is one big pile of shit.

Boy, do I hate being right all the time.

Remind me to thank John for the lovely weekend.

If "The Pirates of the Caribbean" breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.
--Ian Malcom

Shoot her!  SHOOT HER!

Clever girl...
--Robert Muldoon

Malcom: The kids okay?
Grant: I didn't ask.  Why wouldn't they be?
Malcom: Kids get scared.
Grant: What's to be scared of?  It's just a little hiccup in the power.
Malcom: I didn't say I was scared.
Grant: I didn't say you were...
Malcom: I know.

Hammond: ...attractions that will drive kids out of their minds.
Grant: And what are those?
Ellie: Small versions of adults, honey.

No signature.

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #303 on: 12-07-2001 15:32 »

RIMMER:  "Step up to Red Alert."
KRYTEN:  Sir, are you absolutely sure?  It does mean changing the bulb."

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #304 on: 12-08-2001 11:07 »

WHAT!? - Stone Cold Steve Austin


DOOP Secretary
« Reply #305 on: 12-08-2001 11:29 »

Mr J: Is there anywhere they do French food?
Basil: Yes, France, I believe. They seem to like it there. And the swim would certainly sharpen your appetite. You'd better hurry, the tide leaves in six minutes.

Fawlty Towers

Space Pope
« Reply #306 on: 12-09-2001 09:30 »

lol  smile
(Blackadder while drunk, to Queenie)"I know you! You're Merlin the happy pig!"

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #307 on: 12-09-2001 12:24 »
« Last Edit on: 12-09-2001 12:24 »

You are a fishmonger.

Polonius: What are you reading?
Hamlet: Words.  Words.  Woooooooooords. (You have to see the Kenneth Braunaugh version to get the full effect)

- Hamlet

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #308 on: 12-09-2001 12:38 »

Mall Cop: (to a passer-by holding a jar of a strange green liquid.) HEY! What're you doing?!

Man: I've got a new strain of anthrax that I will soon unleash upon all of North America!

South Park Ep 409 Something You Can Do With Your Finger


Space Pope
« Reply #309 on: 12-10-2001 08:47 »

"10 pubs in a village that was only 3 yards. Maybe slightly worried about what they had in store fo us." - Mikey Robbins in Ireland.

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
« Reply #310 on: 12-18-2001 19:40 »

Capt. Jean Luc Picard: "Space, the final frontier. Theese are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. It's continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where noone has gone before!"

(About the loss of 13 crewmembers against the Borg)
Q: "If you can't take a little bloddy nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross, but it's not for the timid!"
- "Q Who"

(About the Borg)
Q: "You can't outrun them. You can't destroy them. If you damage them, the essence of what they are remains. They regenerate and keep coming. Eventually you will weaken, your reserves will be gone. They are resentless!"
- "Q Who"

(About prune juice)
Worf: "A warriors drink!"
- "Yesterdays Enterprise"

(Last words)
Picard: "Five-card stud, nothin wild. And the sky's the limit."
- "All Good Things...."

Don't confuse not caring with not knowing!

Space Pope
« Reply #311 on: 12-18-2001 22:29 »
« Last Edit on: 12-18-2001 22:29 »

Giles: Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate?
Buffy: Yes.
Giles: There's been a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?
Buffy: Uh-huh.
Giles: And otherwise, all his spare time, spent lounging around with imbeciles?
Buffy: It's bad?
Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a 16-year-old boy! Of course, you'll have to kill him.


« Reply #312 on: 12-18-2001 22:32 »


What a big piece of garbage

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #313 on: 12-19-2001 02:54 »

Do you mind not shooting at the thermonuclear device?
--John Travolta in "Broken Arrow"

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #314 on: 12-19-2001 04:58 »

Lawrence: I killed two people. One was yesterday. He was just a boy and I led him into quicksand. The other was... well... before Aqaba. I had to execute him with my pistol and there was something about it that I didn't like.

Allenby: That's to be expected.

Lawrence: No, something else.

Allenby: Well, then let it be a lesson.

Lawrence: No... something else.

Allenby: What then?

Lawrence: I enjoyed it.

Lawrence of Arabia

DOOP Secretary
« Reply #315 on: 12-19-2001 10:08 »

From Con Air...

Baby-O: The way he [Garland Green] killed those people makes the Manson Family look like the Partridge Family.
Poe: Well, he's on the right plane.

Johnny 23: Do you know what I am?
Poe: Ugly all day?

Larkin: If you can't trust a South American drug lord, who can you trust? [silence] That was a joke.
Poe: I'm glad you told me.

Garland Green: What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn’t you consider that to be insane?
Just Chris

Urban Legend
« Reply #316 on: 12-20-2001 11:54 »

Newman: When you control the mail, you control...information. *insert evil chuckle here*

Space Pope
« Reply #317 on: 12-21-2001 05:18 »

Blackadder:Now that Ludwig's gone, we  should have not trouble in overcoming the guards. Germans are sticklers for effiiency, and I've been watching their routine and selceted the moment when they are at their most vunerable. That is when we'll attack.
Guards: Eins zwei, eins zwei. Halt. Jingle ze keeys. Open ze door. Greetings to ze prisoners (they wave at melchy and blackadder) Guten abend, englander scum. March to ze table. eins zwei, eins zwei, eins zwei, eins zwei, halt. Food a\ood on the table eins zwei. Spit on ze food, eins zwei. Insulting farewell gesture to ze prisioners eins ZWEI eins ZWEI (they thrust their pelvises)
Blackadder: NOW! (they hit the prisoners on their vunerable spot) Trust me to get the hard one.

« Reply #318 on: 01-05-2002 11:23 »

Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!?
M. Proctor

Starship Captain
« Reply #319 on: 01-11-2002 12:01 »

I think football was really funny. Maybe we should join a club!
Isn't it an international club?
Yes, they play Monday and Thursday.
Oh, Mondays I'm working!
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