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Author Topic: Infomercials  (Read 533 times)
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SweetSweetCandy

Crustacean
*
« on: 12-22-2003 20:41 »

I was just wondering if anyone had seen any awesome products being sold on infomercials, or if anyone had bought something in the past and how it was?
eggsandwich

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #1 on: 12-22-2003 20:49 »

Infomercials? AH! Kill it - Kill it!!

Do we really need a thread about this?
..
Tweek?
alexvilagosh

Goose Patrol
Space Pope
****
« Reply #2 on: 12-22-2003 20:51 »

I think it's fine.

But wait, there's more.

I don't think anyone ever buys things of them. Ever.
eggsandwich

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #3 on: 12-22-2003 20:56 »

'Cept lazy people..  smile

Its one of those shows that you watch whilst staying up late with nothing else on TV. Its like watching a 'high nrg dance' film-clip with some hot chick saying this thigh-master will burn that fat whilst cooking a roast dinner.
Beamer

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #4 on: 12-22-2003 21:01 »

I hate it when commercials say "This product is NOT available in shops, and limited quantities are available!" That limited quantities thing is so obviously bullshit - why would they bother making an entire commercial if they only had "limited quantities"? Also, if the product is so good - why aren't the companies supplying it to the shops? Surely more people would buy it there than off the TV...

Sigh, the only people stupider than the companies who advertise on informercials are the people who buy stuff from them... I mean, how gullable can you get?

"Call within the next 10 minutes and recieve this free possum!"
FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« Reply #5 on: 12-22-2003 23:02 »

SweetSweetCandy, you are my new best friend. I like your screen name, and I love infomercials.

They seem to have gotten weak lately, though. Remember when they were all so flashy and good? With Mike Levy hosting "Amazin' Discoveries!" and goofy british men who would show off flame-resistant car waxes and teflon-coated cookware. Nowadays, they all have that "boring talkshow" kind of format, and they advertise boring stuff like calcium pills and speed reading.

I'm writing a movie script about infomercials, called Infomania. Wait for it.
TheMadCapper

Fluffy
UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #6 on: 12-22-2003 23:51 »
« Last Edit on: 12-23-2003 00:00 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Beamer:
I hate it when commercials say "This product is NOT available in shops, and limited quantities are available!" That limited quantities thing is so obviously bullshit - why would they bother making an entire commercial if they only had "limited quantities"? Also, if the product is so good - why aren't the companies supplying it to the shops? Surely more people would buy it there than off the TV...

Sigh, the only people stupider than the companies who advertise on informercials are the people who buy stuff from them... I mean, how gullable can you get?

"Call within the next 10 minutes and recieve this free possum!"

1 - Everything is in limited quantiities. Nothing is in unlimited quantities. Least, nothing that can be bought and sold.

2 - Because it's a profitable way to advertise their junk without going to the trouble of producing and distributing it nationwide to millions of stores. Plus it'll reach people who don't shop around all the time. And if the product works really well, then they want to show you it in action, rather than just one box among many on the store shelf.

3 - It's "gullible"

edit - 4 - TV forum.
homerjaysimpson

Space Pope
****
« Reply #7 on: 12-23-2003 00:02 »

The Infomercial I really hate is:

 http://www.bowflex.com/  tongue
NibblerJr

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #8 on: 12-23-2003 00:11 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by homerjaysimpson:
The Infomercial I really hate is:

 http://www.bowflex.com/   tongue

Gee..I wonder what website that link takes me to...... :P


NibblerJr:That jeep driving bastard
Now with Alienware!
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #9 on: 12-23-2003 01:50 »

What the world needs is more Matt Lesko . . . FREE!
winna

Avatar Czar
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #10 on: 12-23-2003 01:56 »

Gazelle freeglider...

If you don't see improvement, send it back...
If you don't like how it's working, send it back..
If You don't Liiiikkkkee meee, send it back...

For a FUL REFOOND!
LAN.gnome

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #11 on: 12-23-2003 01:59 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Nixorbo:
What the world needs is more Matt Lesko . . . FREE!

I love the one where he jumps into the Reflecting Pool in D.C. and starts having a seizure or something. It's the best.

The government is ready to GIVE YOU MONEY!!!
mazaite

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #12 on: 12-23-2003 02:11 »

I once bought a stick blender from an infomercial way before black and decker realised how much they could make off of them. It has lasted over 10 years and is built like a rock. I also bought a Ronco like dehydrater. Makes great jerky. But I bought it from a store for cheap.

And every colledge kid knows how great the George Foreman Grill is.

I just hate when local stations run them late at night over stuff I look in the TV guide and want to watch like Night Court or MASH re-runs. Why don't they just say Infomercials are on?
Tweek

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #13 on: 12-23-2003 03:21 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by eggsandwich:
Infomercials? AH! Kill it - Kill it!!

Do we really need a thread about this?
..
Tweek?

The thread is OK, it belongs in the TV section though.



~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #14 on: 12-23-2003 15:12 »

Pfft, they could show some good old porn instead of that rubbish.
*goes and laser proofs the car that he doesn't have, for the big laser-car chase*
SpacemanSpiff

Space Pope
****
« Reply #15 on: 12-23-2003 15:53 »

infomercials are the best thing ever, especially over here in germany. we get the same informercials you get, but dubbed in such a bad way they're even funnier. usually, they just turn down the volume of the original voice (but you can always hear it) and add some dumb speaker with an american accent. the dubs are never lip-sync, and the most famous quote would have to be (with american accent) "oh mein gott, jim, das ist ja unglaublich!" (oh my god, jim, that's unbelievable).

my favorite infomercial would have to be the one for oxyclean and orange clean. man, that one rocked.

hail seitan

FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« Reply #16 on: 12-23-2003 16:03 »

Haha. Billy Mays rocks in any language.
Zed 85

Space Pope
****
« Reply #17 on: 12-23-2003 18:49 »

Whilst in Russia, an American infomercial came on about amazingly strong inflatable bed. I don't know whether they were repeating the advert several times, but it remained on for nearly half an hour. Can really drive you mad seeing the same thing twice. Can really drive you mad seeing the same thing twice.
What was even more infuriating was that flicking British channels when I got back, I came across it again. It had come back to haunt me. Bastard.
boingo2000

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #18 on: 12-24-2003 11:46 »

I hate infomercials, because Stations could be running reruns of clasic TV shows in their place.  Except the Ronco Food Dehydrator infomercial.  I hate that one because it makes me hungry.

Archie2K

Space Pope
****
« Reply #19 on: 12-24-2003 12:44 »

Amazing Discoveries was great. They once had this guy who could add two numbers in his head faster than someone using a calculator could. I don't remember what the product was but it stuck in my head. The only ones I really hate are the infomercials for those ab belts because they're all a total con. I don't know anyone who's gone "Oh look at my wonderful new body thanks to my ab belt". And the models are quite clearly athletes/bodybuilders with years experience.

We actually have bought things from infomercials. One cooker thing that cooked food as fast as a microwave but as good as an oven, and it could fry, bake, broil, rotisserie, grill, steam and more! We also got this iron that supposedly could iron things whilst hanging up. It was crap. We also got these rotokit things which held anything you needed to keep in all these compartments, then folded down to a hexagon which could hold the weight of a Land Rover. QVC is so great.

BidUp.tv is also great if you're especially bored and want the excitement of a real auction. A friend once put a bid in for 5000, though the company decided it was a mistake and deleted it.
boingo2000

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #20 on: 12-24-2003 12:54 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Archie2K:
...The only ones I really hate are the infomercials for those ab belts because they're all a total con. I don't know anyone who's gone "Oh look at my wonderful new body thanks to my ab belt". And the models are quite clearly athletes/bodybuilders with years experience.

Actually, I think I've figured that ab belt thing out.  You strap it to your chest, it send its vibrations out, your stomach gets upset, you throw up, therefore you lose weight.

(I'm probably way off on that, but I'm not going to let it stand in the way of my joke.)

TheLastGreatDon

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #21 on: 12-24-2003 17:43 »

I thought that one with the whole, knife bit was cool. The one that cut through everything. EVEN DRYWALL! Was ok. I've watched it all the way through once.
Archie2K

Space Pope
****
« Reply #22 on: 12-25-2003 13:50 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by boingo2000:
 Actually, I think I've figured that ab belt thing out.  You strap it to your chest, it send its vibrations out, your stomach gets upset, you throw up, therefore you lose weight.

I'm going to remember that for future humour. Not that PEEL jokes generally go down well in real life.
FishyJoe

Honorary German
Urban Legend
***
« Reply #23 on: 12-25-2003 22:20 »

I don't know, I remember Jeremy proposed the idea of having Michael Jackson star in an "it's ok, I had Subway" commecial. I've stolen that joke for some real-life use, and it kills every time.
Jeremy

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #24 on: 12-26-2003 05:55 »

 big grin I'm FishyJoe's comedy writer.
See, marg? I am Jewish!  wink


My favorite infomercial is "Dentist in a Box" from Mad-TV. David Herman owns you and your moms.
zoidberg74

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #25 on: 12-27-2003 20:22 »

the juice loosener....i got the state of Kansas jello mold thrown in for free.
mjsmith

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #26 on: 12-27-2003 22:57 »
« Last Edit on: 12-27-2003 22:57 »

My current favorite is the Slim In 6 one that I saw on CNBC today.

Boy, that Julie Moran still looking great! And she is surely and truly still one of the best dressed ladies around TV today!!!  love
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