Anime On Trial

[Reply #400 on:]

Review of Elfen Lied

'Oh the humanity! WHY GOD WHY!'

You know what is overrated? Cavier. Little black fish eggs. And Champange. Fizzy bubble water for the rich. And Techno music.

But lets talk about anime. This one is overrated. Not just that, but it's boring, vile, stupid and one of the first animes that made me feel bad and want to throw in the towel for good when it comes to watching this stuff.

I will get this out of my system: OH GOD THE HUMANITY! WHY!? WHY!? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU MR JAPANESE DIRECTOR!? BASTARD!

Phew. Okay, where to start? Ah yes, the 'plot'. Ever wanted an anime where characters kept wandering off ever five minutes, this anime is for you if the other crap doesn't spoil it.

Character list:

Lucy/Nyu: Big breasted pink haired homicidal wench, who when hit on the head becomes a creepy example of the Japanese lolicon thing going too far. Likes carving the crap out of anyone, mainly FUCKING INNOCENT PEOPLE in graphic ways. Is a Diclonius, so it's alright is she commits mass genocide.

Kouta: It's Tenchi! Haha, kidding. Tenchi compared to this guy is actually interesting and has guts. Has a bland love interest in his cousin (eeeew) and a link to the past with Lucy.

Yuka: One of the girls who's old enough to get naked, but never does. Quite cute in the old school sort of way. Comes close to DANGEROUSLY PISSING OFF Lucy, though never does. She's also fault for half of the deaths in this POS anime.

Bando: This guy is a Psycho, he punches a girl who approaches him from behind. In Japan, I think that is suppose to be badass. I expect he has daddy issues. He gets blinded and looses his limbs but comes back with handy future tech.

Professor Kakuzawa: This guy is suppose to be conflicted or something, but takes a while for him to fucking do something. Has a creepy relationship with Nana and the young girls in this anime. He also reminds me of a character in Excel Saga.

THE EVIL SCIENTIFIC ORGANISATION: A pretty lame one, It kidnaps these Diclonious thing as babies, and pointless tortures/studies then until they grow boobs. Then they set them free into the wild! Not that I implying they are Paedophiles really. Paedophiles with really crappy security.

Nana: The token 14 year old girl, one of the only Diclonius in this anime that doesn't go on an invisable arm killing spree. Lucy charmingly takes her arms and legs off in graphic and upsetting detail. Possibly the only character you may feel sorry for.

Fuck the rest of the cast. Too many of them who die horribly or do nothing but cry and get lost anyway.


Lets check out the first episode:

Some naked long haired wench named Lucy breaks out of her cyberpunk prison restraints and goes on a long violent unrealistic vile killing spree. The Rent-A-Cops I feel for because no man diserves to chopped up, stabbed in the heart with their own pen or decapatated.

We then cut to a whacky clumsy pretty looking Assistant type woman having banter with the Handsome-Yet-Conflicted-Dr-Decent-Guy. We're briefly reminded how annoying yet endearing this character archetype is.

Then the action heats up! Don't get attached to miss 'Whoopsie, made a mistake' because our 'hero' for no fucking reason at all, slices and dices her apart in great detail even though she has 30 other targets in the room.

....

If you laughed or enjoyed that moment, stop breathing my fucking air.

Our homicidal hero finally escapes, Professor Idiot and a Rent-A-Cop with a Anti-Tank Rifle wing her. She falls into the ocean, she's dead, lets have a beer and all that crap.

Intro time! Enjoy the boobs, because it'll be the only thing in this crapola you may like. Note how artistic the intro, trying to impress us with your pretentious knowlege of gaijin European culture hey? you fail.

From there on, the 'plot' thickens. Lucy meets our bland male main character and his cousin who have the hots for him. They both fall for this naked woman who acts like a little girl and take her back home, where they can sleezily grope each other, and have a crappy love triangle.

Incidently, Lucy as Nyu is suppose to act innocent and cute but it's damn well creepy. This is the only anime I have seen where the hero pisses herself.

Oh god, it gets worse. We discover the EVIL CORPORATION learn of her continued existence
and send some lame Japanese SWAT Troopers to take her out. One guy, a homicidal asshole becomes one of our main killers (er, characters)when Lucy on blinds and cripples him (charming).

Sod this. I've had enough. This anime is bad. Innocent men, women and children (even animals) suffer the most. They get killed in the most graphic ways possibly (FYI Mr Director, we don't that that much blood in our bodies you dumbass).

We're suppose to feel sorry for our characters because they are childish idiots and fear the bad guys, who are really just creepy Paedophiles in labcoats. This is the sort of anime that tries to ride on the coat tails of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Which unlike this POS, had a good plot and made us care for some of the characters. Most of which were NOT molested or abused when they were young. Sadly, Elfen Lied cruelly has a much better production cost than NGE ever did.

By the way, Lucy killed most of Koutas family when he was a kid hanging with her when she was a kid. Despite this flaw however, he happily forgives her and lets her live peacefully with him in the end. Because seeing your dad and little sisters intestines is only a minor thing, isn't it folks?

Speaking of which, I have never felt this vile ever since watching giganto Rei fall apart in bloody chunks in the NGE movie. I'm just glad I never exchanged currency for this thing because I would never live with myself.

This is a terrible terrible anime. The violence is unrealisticly graphic and pointless half the time, It's story is terrible and it's just wrong. Plain wrong.

Don't watch Elfen Lied, please! Watch Cowboy Bebop, Gunslinger Girls HELL even Handmaid May or Agent Aika. Just don't watch this it may put you off anything Japanese for life.

Score: 1/5. Avoid like painful invisable armed death.

Ugh, I feel filthy just remembering this thing. I watched it half a year ago. Ugh.

The memories. I'm going to get drunk and watch some Cromartie High. Freddy Mercury save my tormented soul!

[Reply #401 on:]

   I'd go post this in the thousand monkeys thread, but too many peelers who don't watch anime are already under the mistaken impression that all anime is like that, so I won't encourage them.

Go scrub your eyes with some bleach, or watch some Bleach, or something.

[Reply #402 on:]

Just watched Samurai Champloo all over again because I'm selling my boxset on eBay so that I can eat.
Good little show, but lacks the emotional punch of Watanabe's seminal work, Cowboy Bebop.

Nothing is ever gonna top Bebop.

[Reply #403 on:]

Been watching a fair few episodes of another over rated anime. I am up to episode 80 of Inu Yasha and while it is not terrible it is certainly not as great as some people seem to make it out to be. I will admit the dubbing is quite good but the story is getting a little repetative. While I don't dislike it as much as VG cat's writer but he does seem right when he compares it to Fushigi Yugi.

A manga that I have been reading is quite alot of fun though. Hagime no Ippo ("The Fighting" ) is a boxing manga, would not mind seeing the anime of this one.

[Reply #404 on:]

I  anime, I've been drawing my own cartoon of them recently. (not a very good cartoon, mind you)

[Reply #405 on:]

A girl who's into anime in the UK?

Awesome. You are my favourite person. Next to Slimmy of course..

[Reply #406 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nurdbot:
A girl who's into anime in the UK?

Yeah, whatever happened to Coilette anyway?

[Reply #407 on:]

Rumours abound of cat and her eloping are heavy.

[Reply #408 on:]

Wow, I'm actually somebodys 2nd Fave person, I feel... I feel... Not all that different actually...  thaks Nurdbot 

[Reply #409 on:]

No problem. I won't stalk ya, I promise.

Oh, and it's not all doom and gloom with me anime wise at the moment.

I've become quite a fan of Cromartie High. I'll post a more detailed review at some point.

[Reply #410 on:]

The Ninja Scroll TV series is, I've found, somewhat underrated. Outshined by the original film of course, but not a bad little show in its own right.

[Reply #411 on:]

Well, I watched Love Hina. Nothing special, the main characters are boring as hell. S’all about Kaolla and… I forget. That caretaker lady – the one who owns the place.

[edit]Turns out she's called something along the lines of Haruka. I never remember subtitled names. She's funny as hell though.[/edit]

[Reply #412 on:]

We told ya Jim.

Love Hina, where even the fan service is lifeless and boring.

SPOILER:

He marries the chick who beats the shit out of him a lot.

[Reply #413 on:]

Of... Of course! Now it all makes sense! Wow, what an eye-opener!

 

[Reply #414 on:]

Anyone know if there's gonna be an English dub of the OVA 'Last Order' from the Final Fantasy VII franchaise? It's an anime tie-in that was bundled with the CGI Advent Children in Japan but didn't make it over here... yet?

[Reply #415 on:]

Nurdy, how could you not like Elfen Lied? Ultraviolence mixed with nudity. A winning combo if you ask me. But than again, so did Ninja Scroll...

I've been watching too much anime lately that I'm suffering from anime lag. I guess it's from watching random series episodes during the wee hours. I'd post reviews, but I'm too lazy. 

[Reply #416 on:]

The age of those who wore no clothes kept lowering. I like my Japanese animated chicks to be at least over 16. The opening of Elfen Lied is quite deceptive. Like I said, you only see the main character nude once. At that is when she's cutting apart Rent-A-Cops into little bits, which is kind of a turn off.

Also, I'm not a fan of ultra violence for the hell of it.

Watching Spike Spiegal Headshot Syndicate Thug=Win.

Watching some whiny wench as a child slicing people concerned about her=Fail.
 

[Reply #417 on:]

Nurdbot - As a fan of more intelligent, realistic, and serious anime, I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiment and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

[Reply #418 on:]

Samurai Champloo was pretty kickass, particular the sillier episodes. Very well drawn, too. Also, deadly deadly baseball, hooray!

Juuuuuust needed to be a little less Bebop redux and it would've been a certifed classic. Ah well, it's enjoyable. Watch it, ya'll!

[Reply #419 on:]

Did so. Twice. And just the other day sold my box set on eBay. It's probably open to a sequel series or film, more so than Bebop for obvious reasons.

[Reply #420 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nurdbot:
Also, I'm not a fan of ultra violence for the hell of it.

Watching some whiny wench as a child slicing people concerned about her=Fail.
 

Maybe I've been desensitized by all the crappy anime. Sure, the plot's all over the place, but it's entertaining mindless violence to me. The new Hellsing OVA is pretty gory too I guess, since it follows the manga.

Sorry to sound like an elitist, but the series discussed here seem to be quite "old". Wu_Konguk and David A, I need your help...

[Reply #421 on:]

would love to help but I have just started watching Nadia the Secret of blue water (damn hard to find it was too), which is a fairly old series.

I do feel that the new Hellsing is considerably better than the first try at the animation. Also as much as I love the Trigun anime it might be nice to see one more faithful to the manga.

Perhaps you could help Mayat. Is the new version of Negima worth it? as I found the first TV series of it to be difficult to watch (to deep in the Love hina routes I felt).

I think I will also start getting Death note, more shinigami action..sounds fun. Another series I keep seeing things on is Witchblade..know anything about this one?

and last for a needed opinion Eureka 7, any good?

[Reply #422 on:]

I don't know how much help I can be, as I haven't seen much in the way of new anime lately.  I suppose that I could review volume two of Ichigo Mashimaro, but it's really just more of the same (i.e. it's a show about nothing).

[Reply #423 on:]

Wait, Hellsing got a new series?

Glory be!

I stick by what I said about Elfen Lied. Sometimes, it is better to not see the insides of several hundred minor characters.

[Reply #424 on:]

yep Hellsing Ultimate, so far there have been two episodes. So far it is much the same story that has been covered in the TV series, Alucard's first incounter with Anderson and the Brothers storming the mansion.

The main differences are an increase in gore but also and increase in humour (closer to the orginal source). Also a little more fan service as far a Seras is concerned (they do seem bigger than the TV series)

In fact if you go back on page you will see my review

[Reply #425 on:]

 

Originally posted by wu_konguk:
and last for a needed opinion Eureka 7, any good?

I've seen about half of that.  It's pretty good if you can stomach the idea of mecha flying around on giant surfboards.

[Reply #426 on:]

 

Originally posted by wu_konguk:
Perhaps you could help Mayat. Is the new version of Negima worth it? as I found the first TV series of it to be difficult to watch (to deep in the Love hina routes I felt).

The new series is definately better. New art style, new storyline, and most importantly, more action.

 

Originally posted by wu_konguk:
I think I will also start getting Death note, more shinigami action..sounds fun.

Watch this at all costs. Intellectually engaging.

 

Originally posted by wu_konguk:
Another series I keep seeing things on is Witchblade..know anything about this one?

Do you like T&A? If you've watched the live-action version and liked it, watch this. Personally, it's "meh" for me.

 

Originally posted by wu_konguk:
and last for a needed opinion Eureka 7, any good?

The successor to Last Exile, so they say. Another epic sci-fi with more twist than Chubby Checker.

Don't take my word for it though. The only series I'm following is Death Note. Do read the manga and watch the live-action movie for comparison.

[Reply #427 on:]

Death note Anime?

1) Yes!
2) 'Bout damn time.

[Reply #428 on:]

Speaking of Last Exile, I still don't get what the hell happened at the very end of that. And I'm not completely dull to intricate and cataclysmic finales; I've sat through my share of them without much confusion... but what did Exile actually do?

[Reply #429 on:]

*sigh*, I've gone into total Sailor Moon recall mode. In the last 20 minutes I've taken 8 quizzes to see which sailor scout I am, and I'm doing another while typing. Has anyone else got taken back into kiddy animes cuz I'm obbsessing right now...

[Reply #430 on:]

I've been tempted to rewatch NGE at some point, as well as Outlaw Star.

They may not be kiddie animes but I love them never the less.

Anyone written a review for the Full Metal Panic spin off Series?

[Reply #431 on:]

No, I don't like kiddie anime.

Nurd, what's Outlaw Star like? I'm considering buying the boxset. I've heard it compared to Bebop, is that apt?

[Reply #432 on:]

Outlaw Star is Bebop Light in my own opinion. It doesn't have the Jazz Music, and Gene Starwind is no Spike Spiegal.

But it is quite light hearted and will raise a chuckle from time to time. Even the english dub was decent. Also, the opening theme song gets into your head.

[Reply #433 on:]

Hmm... well, I'll give it a go. Thanks for that.

[Reply #434 on:]

Review of Full Metal Panic: FUMOO

Ah, Mech anime. An old school genre. It has gone through some changes. I can remember some great Mech anime. Gundam SEED, NGE and Full Metal Panic itself. It is an old and stable sort of genre. You just need a few plucky loveable heroes and massive military robot machines of death. Fun!

However, FMP: FUMOO is a spin off series. In Mecha anime, you won't have time for amusing or romantic story lines (not counting the panty shots and flirting banter/jokes between characters) but the FMP team have brought us a lovely series of amusing adventures with the FMP cast.

Nurdbot likes Full Metal Panic. He likes explosions, guns, Military Jargon and silly robots.

There is no story line in most of the episodes (except for perhaps one) which means this is a great series for watching in chunks.

There is nothing more silly than watching a hard as nails Mercenary Soldier encased in a Mech that looks like a giant Teddy Gopher training Yakuza to be soldiers while his love interest, the stern Chidori translates for him. It's nice to see a coupling for once in anime that you enjoy watching. I'm looking at YOU Love Hina.

The relationship between Sasuke and Chidori receives much needed exploring and tweaking left out from FMP. So you Shippers will love this.

Expect the typical Swimsuit and Hot Springs episodes (both have quite amusing plots, so don't worry) but aside from that the fan service is rare. Which is good. There was plenty of oppotunities to slip in a shot of knickers but the FMP are so confident, they KNOW they don't have to be exploitive to get people to watch this.

I do advise you know a Little about The first Series of Full Metal Panic, but only a little. Never the less, this was an excellent series I enjoyed watching through. I checked the Wikipedia entry for it and there was a hidden Monty Python reference or two there. Awesome. As well as an amusing nod at Rugby.

Silly, awesome, hilarious and fun all wrapped up in a few hours.

Score: 4/5 Nurdy Points. If you loved Full Metal Panic, watch. If not. Still watch.

[Reply #435 on:]

     
anime/manga is my favorite style of artwork
the japanese shows like like Ouran host club or fruits basket are awsome <3 

[Reply #436 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nurdbot:
Outlaw Star is Bebop Light in my own opinion. It doesn't have the Jazz Music, and Gene Starwind is no Spike Spiegal.

Yeah, well, Spike is no Gene Starwind either.

They're two very different characters; it's kind of silly to try to compare them.

[Reply #437 on:]

I find I'm not taken very seriously as an artist because I produce vaugely manga-style artwork. What's with the connotation of vapidity and disposibility that haunts manga?

[Reply #438 on:]

Tentacle Monsters, Lolicon and those stupid cute things will always make anime look bad to everyone else, sadly.

[Reply #439 on:]

Need to abduct all those critics and strap them down in front of a Cowboy Bebop marathon, or Stand Alone Complex. Then we'll see what's what. Fucking philistines. I curse them, and their families, and every person they've ever been close to. May they all burn in hell.