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Author Topic: Favorite Simpsons gags  (Read 2093 times)
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Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #80 on: 08-22-2002 21:45 »
« Last Edit on: 08-22-2002 21:45 »

The single greatest Simpsons moment of all time has to be when Nancy Cartwright showed up on the American music awards wearing a Bart costume, complete with a creepy plastic mask.

*top-of-the-page do-the-Bartman*
Speli

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #81 on: 08-22-2002 23:37 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Sarge:
Homer-"HeyBartyawannaseemynewchainsa w&hockeymask?!!"

The first time I saw that part I pissed my pants laughing...
Tzlk
Professor
*
« Reply #82 on: 08-22-2002 23:37 »

Donno if its been said before but my fav is When they are giving homer a lie detector test and they ask him "Do you understand Mr. Simpson?" Homer answers, "yes".  The machine beeps then blows up.   laff
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #83 on: 08-23-2002 15:29 »

Speaking of lie detectors:

Eddie: "Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?"
Moe: "No!" [buzz] "All right, maybe I did.  But I didn't shoot him." [ding]
Eddie: "Checks out. OK, sir, you're free to go."
Moe: "Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight." [buzz] "A date." [buzz] "Dinner with friends." [buzz] "Dinner alone." [buzz] "Watching TV alone." [buzz] "All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog." [buzz]
"Sears catalog." [ding] [angry] "Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!" [buzz]
Just Chris

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #84 on: 08-25-2002 00:09 »
« Last Edit on: 08-25-2002 00:09 »

That was my most favorite Moe moment.

The Bad Cops song:
Bad cops, bad cops...Bad cops, bad cops Springfield cops are on the take
But what do you expect for the money we make?
Whether in a car or on a horse
We don't mind using excessive force
Bad cops, bad cops...Bad cops, bad cops

Funny cuz it's true, the law enforcement is so corrupt   big grin   tongue
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #85 on: 08-25-2002 11:01 »

Cheif Wiggum watching lottery results: "No you got the wrong number, this is 91...2."

"Live forever or die trying."
Impossible

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #86 on: 08-25-2002 12:05 »

Scully: This is a lie detector. We will ask you some simple yes/no questions. Do you understand?

Homer: Yes.

*Lie detector blows up*
Hawk

Professor
*
« Reply #87 on: 08-26-2002 13:20 »
« Last Edit on: 08-26-2002 13:20 »

Wiggum: Look at the incredible Hippo. With a rabbit-head...............
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #88 on: 08-26-2002 16:48 »

Guh, I hate misquotations.

"Here Esquilax!"

Lisa walks up to Police Chief Wiggum who's dressed in a friar's garb.
He stands at the entrance of a tent with a sign, "Friar Wiggum's
Fantastical Beastarium".

        [Lisa walks up]
Wiggum: Alight your gaze on yonder fabled beasts of yore.
         [motions to chimera and manticore pictures]
         [inside the tent]
        Behold, the rarest of the rare, the mythological two-headed
        hound born with only one head.
         [a regular dog wags its tail with a bored look]
        Ooh, and here, out of the mists of history, the legendary
        esquilax, a horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a
        rabbit.
         [the rabbit hops out of its pen]
        Oh, it's galloping away.
  Lisa: [chasing it] Here, bunny bunny.  Here, bunny.
Wiggum: [correcting her] "Here, esquilax".

"Live forever or die trying."
MuscaDomestica

Professor
*
« Reply #89 on: 08-26-2002 16:53 »
« Last Edit on: 08-26-2002 16:53 »

Actually here is the correct quote

Wiggum: Alight your gaze on yonder fabled beasts of yore.[motions to chimera and manticore pictures]
[inside the tent]
Behold, the rarest of the rare, the mythological two-headed hound born with only one head.
[a regular dog wags its tail with a bored look]
Ooh, and here, out of the mists of history, the legendary esquilax, a horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit.
[the rabbit hops out of its pen] Oh, it's galloping away.

::edit::
Wow ~FazeShift~ we both corrected it wow
rach_the_tall

Space Pope
****
« Reply #90 on: 08-27-2002 09:30 »

I love it when homer has his mafia daydream
'don homer-e, my son, he's-'
'a-a-a'*eats donut* 'mmm, molto bene'
(or something to that effect)
Andrea Huckstep

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #91 on: 08-27-2002 12:32 »

When they had all thos fancy bumper cars and nobody wanted to bump but Bart and they had an ambulance bumper car.

Another one of my favorite Simpsons gags is the carnival scene and Willy says that he forgot to oil the ferris wheel and it does the thing off 1941 and crashes down the gates of Springfield zoo.

"Game over, you lose." Shep Ramsey from Suburban Commando
MuscaDomestica

Professor
*
« Reply #92 on: 08-27-2002 13:29 »

rach, don't forget mmmm organized crime
dadbot

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #93 on: 08-27-2002 17:01 »

I have 2 favourites which will never wear thin:-
1. When Homer & Bart are in the gay steel mill from Homer's Phobia (my favourite episode)
2. Homie the Clown - Homer 'You people have stood in my way long enough, I'm going to Clown College', then a brilliant comedy pause before Bart says ' I don't think any of us expected him to say that'
Melllvar

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #94 on: 08-27-2002 20:29 »

"Ah, 'tis a fine barn, but sure is no pool, English"

D'oh it!

(from Bart Of Darkness - one of the best!)
haleys_comet

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #95 on: 08-27-2002 21:49 »
« Last Edit on: 08-27-2002 21:49 »

Hawking: Don't feel bad, Lisa. Sometimes even the smartest of us can be the most childish.
Lisa: Even you?
Hawking: No, not me, never

Marge: I guess everyone has a diferent vision for the perfect world
Lisa: Thats pretty profound mom
Hawking: Hey, you read that off my screen
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #96 on: 08-29-2002 17:03 »

Grampa: Quick!! We must kill the boy!!

Marge: How do you know he's a vampire?!?

Grampa: He's a vampire?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHH HHHHH!!!!!

"Live forever or die trying."
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #97 on: 08-29-2002 18:02 »
« Last Edit on: 08-29-2002 18:02 »

I love the scene in "Saturdays of Thunder" when Martin drives his space shuttle car. The speedometer sticker peels of, from the heat generated from air friction. The brake parachute only deploys after Martin hits a wall, and the car instantly catch fire, though it's made entirely of wood. Martin run around, his clothes on fire, and when the fire brigade arrives they start to extinguish the soapbox car, rather than Martin. Classic scene.   laff
Just Chris

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #98 on: 08-30-2002 19:42 »

Wiggum: Wow, there're more bootlegs here than a...a...
Eddie: A Chinese K-mart?

Wiggum: You're in more hot water than a...
Eddie: A Japanese tea bag?
Wiggum: Lay off the Asians, will you?
Andrea Huckstep

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #99 on: 08-30-2002 20:40 »

I liked it when they sang a hymn to the tune of In-da-gadda-da-vida by Iron Butterfly, which was "In the garden of Eden"

"Game over, you lose." Shep Ramsey from Suburban Commando
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #100 on: 08-31-2002 13:54 »

Just Chris, I thought it was Lou who was slagging the Asians?

Anyway:

Marge: "You have been invited to a special movie screening starring *GASP* MEL GIBSON!!"
Homer: "Who else is in it?"
Marge: "Who cares!? MEL GIBSON!!"
Homer: "Mel Gibson is just a guy Marge, just like me or Lenny!"
Marge: "Were you or Lenny ever voted sexiest man alive??"
Homer: "Well.....idunno about Lenny..."

"Live forever or die trying."
Melllvar

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #101 on: 09-03-2002 16:46 »

"Man Alive! There are men alive in here!"

~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #102 on: 09-03-2002 18:40 »

I think Homer and the TV make a comedy duo in themselves:

Barney: "Two plus two is four!! Two plus two is four!!"

Homer: "Heheh, I can see why THIS is so popular!!"

-

TV Guy: "Warning: tickets should not actually be taken internally!"

Homer: "You see? Because of me, now they have a warning!!"

"Live forever or die trying."
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #103 on: 09-03-2002 18:58 »

Rainier Wolfcastle is swept away by a floodwave of acid in "Radioactive Man"
Rainier: "My eyes...the goggles do nothing!" 


Sideshow Bob: "I'm older, I get the top bunk."
Cecil: "Oh, poppycock, I called it at the arraignment." 

haleys_comet

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #104 on: 09-04-2002 00:39 »

Lisa: Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool then to open your mouth and rmove all doubt
Homer: What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.
       
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #105 on: 09-04-2002 00:48 »
« Last Edit on: 09-04-2002 00:48 »

"When you get my age, you see Death around every corner.  AAAAAAAAHHHHH!  DEATH!!!"
"Grandpa, that's Maggie!"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!  DEATH!!!"
"That's the cat!"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!  DEATH!!!"
"That's Maggie again!"
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #106 on: 09-04-2002 21:17 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by haleys_comet:
Lisa: Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt
Homer's brain: What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.

Homer: "TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!!!"

Homer's brain: "Heheh, SWISH!"

"Live forever or die trying."
haleys_comet

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #107 on: 09-06-2002 02:25 »

Marge: Everybody's got a fear of something
Homer: Not everybody
Marge: Sock puppets!
Homer: Where? Where? Ahh!*runs*
Guy

Professor
*
« Reply #108 on: 09-07-2002 09:58 »

Homer using the computer.

(Reading)
Homer: To start, press any key. Where's the any key? I see Esk (Esc), Katarl (Ctrl), and Pig Up (Page Up). There doesn't seem to be any any key! Whew, all this computer hacking is making me thirsty. Think I'll order a tab.
(Presses tab button. Holds cup up to floppy disk slot. Computer starts.)
Oh, no time for that now, the computer's starting!

And later:
Homer: Whew, this is hard, where's my tab?
BendingUnit1141

Professor
*
« Reply #109 on: 09-07-2002 18:48 »
« Last Edit on: 09-07-2002 18:48 »

Mr Burns: I'll donate 1 million dollars to charity...when pigs fly!

Homers pig flys past Mr Burns's window

Smithers: Would you still like to donate the money sir?

Mr Burns: No I'd rather not.

And the episode where Homer becomes friends with The Flanders..

Homer: Rappin' Ragge always makes the trip go faster..*puts tap in*

Rappin' Ragge: Well, well, well, we-we-well-ll, we...

Homer: Heh heh. He does say well alot.

^ Funniest simpsons quote ever
Archie2K

Space Pope
****
« Reply #110 on: 09-08-2002 12:05 »

From Lisa's Date With Destiny:

Willy: And that's how Willy waters.  Now, you take the hoose.
Nelson: The moose?
 Willy: The HOOSE!  The HOOSE!
         [Willy gives the hose to Nelson]
Nelson: Is this right?  [sprays him]
 Willy: Aaugh!  Turn off the noozle!
Nelson: The noodles?  What noodles?
 Willy: The noozle at the end of the hoose!


   Sherri: She was looking at Nelson!
     Kids: [taunting] Lisa likes Nelson!
 Milhouse: She does not!
     Kids: [taunting] Milhouse likes Lisa!
    Janey: He does not!
     Kids: [taunting] Janey likes Milhouse!
     Uter: She does not!
     Kids: [taunting] Uter likes Milhouse!
Mr. Largo: Nobody likes Milhouse!


Joy to the world the teacher's dead!
They barbecued her head!
What happened to her body?
We flushed it down the potty
And 'round and 'round it goes
And 'round and 'round it... goes...


  Ned: [sleepy] Howdily-diddely.
Phone: Greetings, friends.  Do you wish to look...
  Ned: [hangs up]  Oh, it's that darn recording again.
Maude: Of course it was.  It's been calling all night.  Just unplug the
       phone.
        [Ned turns out the light -- the phone rings again]
  Ned: Howdily-di...
Phone: Greetings, friends...
        [Ned hangs up]
  Ned: Dang!
Maude: I told you to unplug the phone.
  Ned: But it could be my mother!
        [the phone rings]
       Howdy...
Phone: Greetings, friends...
  Ned: [hangs up]  Shoot!
Maude: That is it, Ned!  If you don't unplug that phone right now,
       you're sleeping on the lawn.
Homer: [outside his window]  Will you two shut up?!  People are trying
       to sleep!
 -- then later --
Nelson: Lisa, cops are chasing me!  I need a place to hide!
         [Homer opens his window]
 Homer: Lisa's window is the next one.
Meanwhile, a phone can be heard.

  Ned: Howd...
Phone: Greetings, friends...
Maude: Ned, did you plug that phone back in?
Homer: Shut up!


That is the funniest Simpsons episode ever IMHO.
MuscaDomestica

Professor
*
« Reply #111 on: 09-08-2002 12:45 »

you forgot one of the best lines from that episode,
"You kissed a girl? That is so gay!"
Guy

Professor
*
« Reply #112 on: 09-08-2002 14:28 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Archie2K:
From Lisa's Date With Destiny:

Willy: And that's how Willy waters.  Now, you take the hoose.
Nelson: The moose?
 Willy: The HOOSE!  The HOOSE!
         [Willy gives the hose to Nelson]
Nelson: Is this right?  [sprays him]
 Willy: Aaugh!  Turn off the noozle!
Nelson: The noodles?  What noodles?
 Willy: The noozle at the end of the hoose!


   Sherri: She was looking at Nelson!
     Kids: [taunting] Lisa likes Nelson!
 Milhouse: She does not!
     Kids: [taunting] Milhouse likes Lisa!
    Janey: He does not!
     Kids: [taunting] Janey likes Milhouse!
     Uter: She does not!
     Kids: [taunting] Uter likes Milhouse!
Mr. Largo: Nobody likes Milhouse!


Joy to the world the teacher's dead!
They barbecued her head!
What happened to her body?
We flushed it down the potty
And 'round and 'round it goes
And 'round and 'round it... goes...


  Ned: [sleepy] Howdily-diddely.
Phone: Greetings, friends.  Do you wish to look...
  Ned: [hangs up]  Oh, it's that darn recording again.
Maude: Of course it was.  It's been calling all night.  Just unplug the
       phone.
        [Ned turns out the light -- the phone rings again]
  Ned: Howdily-di...
Phone: Greetings, friends...
        [Ned hangs up]
  Ned: Dang!
Maude: I told you to unplug the phone.
  Ned: But it could be my mother!
        [the phone rings]
       Howdy...
Phone: Greetings, friends...
  Ned: [hangs up]  Shoot!
Maude: That is it, Ned!  If you don't unplug that phone right now,
       you're sleeping on the lawn.
Homer: [outside his window]  Will you two shut up?!  People are trying
       to sleep!
 -- then later --
Nelson: Lisa, cops are chasing me!  I need a place to hide!
         [Homer opens his window]
 Homer: Lisa's window is the next one.
Meanwhile, a phone can be heard.

  Ned: Howd...
Phone: Greetings, friends...
Maude: Ned, did you plug that phone back in?
Homer: Shut up!


That is the funniest Simpsons episode ever IMHO.

Longest post ever.

Except for this one....
Archie2K

Space Pope
****
« Reply #113 on: 09-08-2002 15:45 »

I copied it all from SNPP. It would be easier just to link straight to it. Oh and yeah I forgot that line.

I got that episode on tape so I'm goiung to watch it tonight.

And that post pales in comparison to some of my very early ramblings  tongue
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #114 on: 09-08-2002 15:58 »

Nelson: Why you throwin tomatoes at yourself!?! Why you throwin tomatoes at yourself!?!

Martin: Your very question is faulty!!

Jimbo: YOU'RE FAULTY!!!

Brilliant.

"Live forever or die trying."
Juliet

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #115 on: 09-08-2002 16:12 »

I saw today's episode where Lisa hangs out with college girls. and Bart living in a bubble. It was good.

Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #116 on: 09-08-2002 16:16 »

I love the T2 parody in "Homer Loves Flanders". Homer chases the Flandereses car, gaining on them. Maude pleads Ned to go faster, and Ned answers "I can't! It's a Geo!!". Finally Homer catch up, and uses the putters to latch onto the trunk and starts crawling the car, while Rod and Todd scream in fear. Finally Ned makes a sharp turn and Homer rolls off. Looking after the disappearing car, he say "Hmmm, I guess he didn't see me."
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #117 on: 09-08-2002 16:18 »

I noticed the animation changed quite a bit in that episode, maybe it has been gradually but it was very obvious to me today.

I generally don't like Lisa episodes unless they involve Homer or Bart to make it FUNNY!
Milhouse wedgying Martin and Database was hella funny.

"Live forever or die trying."
haleys_comet

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #118 on: 09-08-2002 19:39 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Archie2K:
From Lisa's Date With Destiny
Its density  tongue
rach_the_tall

Space Pope
****
« Reply #119 on: 09-12-2002 08:54 »

 
Quote
Rappin' Ragge
That's Ronnie Reagan.

I love that bit in Lisa's date with destiny where lisa gives that note to milhouse to give to Nelson ('If she sees that you'll do anything she wants, she's sure to respect you') that says 'somebody likes you' and then milhouse waves, and then you see milhouse being carted out on the stretcher. That always has me in stitches.
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