I Just Bought Popcorn and a Drink and Now I Have No Money - (movie reviews)

[Reply #280 on:]

I've never seen any of the Indiana Jones movies, actually. I've seen clips and snippets, but haven't had the motivation to sit down and watch it. Don't hit me!

Do the world a favour and start with the old ones. Really. Then go kick the shit out of Lucas and Spielberg.

[Reply #281 on:]

Y'know, if you can ignore the premise, the ending, the villain, the plot, the dialogue, Ray Winstone, Shia LeWhatsit, and the fact that Ford looks about a hundred, Kingdom Of the Crystal McGuffin's not a terrible movie.

[Reply #282 on:]

It's more tolerable than Temple of Doom, that's for sure. And no, I won't take that back because it's absolutely true and you all know it. And if you don't then you should watch Temple of Doom again and try not to kill yourself.

[Reply #283 on:]

The whole "the remake ruined the original" and "they're raping my childhood" is probably the worst part of the whole "remember the 80s/90s" bandwagon

General question: Do you all consider it a remake or just a reinterpretation when the source material is a book, short story, or play? For instance, I really love the 2006 Masterpiece Theater version of Jane Eyre and would not call it a "remake" of the 1940s version with Orson Welles. Likewise I much prefer the 2004 version of "The Manchurian Candidate" to the Angela Lansbury version from the 60s. Taken literally, yes, the director and actors are making a new version of the same story, but I wouldn't put it in the same category as something where the primary source material was an original screenplay. A reproduction of "Heathers" or "Easy Rider" would be a real remake.

Incidentally, I did not care for Easy Rider. The best thing to come of it is the Venture Bros' spoof on the final scene of the movie.

[Reply #284 on:]

It's more tolerable than Temple of Doom, that's for sure.

Temple of Doom is a few minutes shorter, and is so much better for it. Plus, I really like the minecart chase from that movie. Perhaps it has something to do with having seen it at a much younger and more impressionable age.

The best thing to come of it is the Venture Bros' spoof

This is true of much.

[Reply #285 on:]

Yeah, Meerkat is such an asshole for liking a movie that you didn't, and an even bigger asshole for being conceived at a later date than you were.

Steady on, it isn't his fault. You're being a bit too harsh there. Leave the lad alone.

Alright, that was good.

On the topic if Indiana Jones:

I've only seen the newest one and it's possibly the worst movie I've ever seen. It doesn't exactly make me want to get off my butt to see the others.

[Reply #286 on:]

Shame on you, UnrealLegend. Shame on you.

[Reply #287 on:]

I don't remember Indiana Jones movies so well that I could properly compare them, but they are all very good, even the newest one was enjoyable.

[Reply #288 on:]

Shame on you, UnrealLegend. Shame on you.

What's the problem exactly? I'm a little lost here.

Unless this is "blame everything on UnrealLegend" day, in which case you're free to ignore my question completely.

[Reply #289 on:]

It's more tolerable than Temple of Doom, that's for sure. And no, I won't take that back because it's absolutely true and you all know it. And if you don't then you should watch Temple of Doom again and try not to kill yourself.

I actually agree with this (and yes I saw the original movies long before I saw the new movie). I don't necessarily hate Temple of Doom, but I'd definitely put Kingdom of the Crystal Skull slightly above it.

My favourite is still The Last Crusade.

I've only seen the newest one and it's possibly the worst movie I've ever seen. It doesn't exactly make me want to get off my butt to see the others.

You really should see the others (especially The Last Crusade!) as they're really good. Well, except for Temple of Doom which is not as good but you should still watch it. It makes you appreciate The Last Crusade more.

[Reply #290 on:]

Who doesn't love muttering "The penitent man shall pass?"

[Reply #291 on:]

"But in the Latin alphabet, 'Jehovah' begins with an 'I'..."

[Reply #292 on:]

I never understood the hatred for Temple of Doom. I always thought it was solid.
Kali-Maaaaaaa!!

[Reply #293 on:]

Books said we were all crazy for not liking Temple of Doom. What a silly head.

[Reply #294 on:]

Willie and Short Round are two of the most horribly written, intolerably annoying characters ever. At least Shia Lebouf didn't set women back another 10 years. Yet.

Anyway...

Prisoners

Holy balls this was good. I'll be thinking about this one for a while.

A

[Reply #295 on:]

Willie was supposed to be annoying and what the hell do you have against Short Round?!

[Reply #296 on:]

I get that Willie was supposed to be annoying, but that doesn't make her character any less...annoying. Do you get what I'm saying? If your attempt is to make a character annoying to the other characters in an attempt to be humorous, but the humor fails, then the character you've created becomes nothing but annoying to the audience as well. Willie was not a funny character, she was a misogynistic caricature of female stupidity with no redeeming comedic qualities. She was annoying in a bad way, not a good way, which certainly wasn't the filmmakers' intention. Or maybe it was and they're just sick bastards.

Short Round was also annoying, a novelty character with no dimension or depth and used only for badly-written one-liners. I will concede that his character doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as Willie does, though.

[Reply #297 on:]

I liked Short-Round.

Willie was not a exemplar of women's liberation. Then again, it was set in the 1930s.

[Reply #298 on:]

Fuck you all, Short Round was the man

[Reply #299 on:]

Saw Elysium, think I liked it more than District 9. Why was Shia Leboef in them so much??

[Reply #300 on:]

Prisoners

Holy balls this was good. I'll be thinking about this one for a while.
A

I liked the bit where Jake Gyllenhaal blinked.
But yeah, great film, dat suspense...

[Reply #301 on:]

Haha ya, there was one scene in particular where he must have blinked about 5 times in one shot. And they were hard blinks. Like he'd just taken a swig of bourbon. I didn't think much of it at the time but now that I've looked it up, apparently it was his idea that his character should have a nervous tic.

[Reply #302 on:]

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (3D)
After a short prologue*, the pace changes nicely from the start of this one than the last, no time for tea and crumpets and a sing-song this time, fucking run you little hairy bastards!
All the story beats play out nicely, a bit of very obvious CGI in a few places.
My favourite part was showing Gandalf doing wizard stuff on his little side quest, and Mirkwood and the spiders were kinda cool.

*

Show spoiler

PJ cameo again!

A-

[Reply #303 on:]

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
The same problems as the first one. Too long, too much filler. Smaug was good though.

Grade: D

[Reply #304 on:]

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Too long.

Isn't that the case with all LOTR movies?

[Reply #305 on:]

I dislike having a film edited down to its essential elements, trimmed to fit into a neat little package.  I want a film to draw me in until I become completely immersed in it.  I want to savor a film, not have it handed to me in bite-sized chunks.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
...Too long...

A word of caution: never watch any of the epic early silent films, such as 'Wings', or you might not survive

[Reply #306 on:]

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Too long.

Isn't that the case with all LOTR movies?

Yes. Though I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing; I actually thought the pace of An Unexpected Journey was spot-on for the most part.

Then again, I love slow movies. "The Avengers" and "Man of Steel" were both criticised for starting too slow but I thought it was the best part of both.

I still have to wait until Boxing Day for TDoS to come out here, so I'll just sit here awkwardly twiddling my thumbs.

[Reply #307 on:]

Gravity (3D)
Simple enough plot, astronauts stuck in space after a debris hits the shuttle they're working on, but it's executed with fantastic visuals and cinematography, the backdrop in most scenes is pretty epic and the effects are great.
Acting is ok, Clooney doing his monotone charm and Bullock doing her panicky whiny voice, which was fine because the characters are kinda secondary to the visuals and the sense of actually feeling like you're in space for me.

A-

[Reply #308 on:]

How could I resist a chinese movie called "Have a Naked Christmas"?

This movie is weird, and I mean REALLY weird.  You constantly hear talk of a "Spa gangster" throughout the whole movie and this weird girl in a rabbit costume who stops using the chinese language and says "Fuck you!" a few times which the subtitles translate as "Darn you!".  You'll see many more oddities if you watch the movie.

10/10 

[Reply #309 on:]

Riddick
Wait, Riddick's first name is Richard? Bahaha, kind of takes away his badass-ness:
Richie Riddick, Ricky Riddick, Dick Riddick...
So Pitch Black was cool and the game (Escape From Butcher Bay) was great, but Chronicles and this one are pretty weak: the acting and plot is pretty terrible, and some really low budget looking CGI doesn't help.
The only good thing about the movie is one of Katee Sackhoffs (Starbuck) boobs is in it.
D+

[Reply #310 on:]

Anchorman 2

Alright. Had a strange ending to it, some of the jokes got me cracking up.

B-

[Reply #311 on:]

Frozen

Take Tangled + Wicked x Fuckton of Snow. And it had probably the best song out of any Disney movie from 2000-now.

B+

[Reply #312 on:]

That's high praise. And yet only a B+?

[Reply #313 on:]

I went to see Anchorman 2 the other day.

I barely made it to the "official" showtime thanks to holiday traffic. Nevertheless, I had several minutes of previews to spare, so I decided to stop by the concessions stand. It was past 4 PM and I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and there was no line. I paid the outrageous sum of $12 for a soda and a hot dog, and was then told that they had to cook the hot dog for me, so I'd just have to stand in the lobby while they accomplished the task of reheating a pre-cooked meat tube. IT TOOK THEM 15 MINUTES. In what world does it take 15 minutes to heat a hot dog? Bonus points for this bit of ridiculousness taking place in a venue where everything is supposed to run on a nice smooth schedule.

I would be more annoyed, but I mean, I missed a few minutes of a Will Ferrell movie. Not the end of the world.

[Reply #314 on:]

That's high praise. And yet only a B+?

I thought B+ was pretty good. But I mean it does have the Tangled template; it hits a lot of the same notes and character beats (for example Ana has a very similar "When Will My Life Begin" kind of song and motivation as Rapunzel did).

But whereas Tangled is focused on the romance between Rapunzel and Flynn Rider, Frozen is at it's roots about the sister relationship between Ana and Elsa which is handled pretty well for the most part. The epilogue is somewhat muddled as well as the characterization of Elsa who has the best song in the movie but it's the most characterization her character has for the entire film. The thing this movie has over Tangled is a refined animation, it's only been a few years but it's clear that Tangled (while beautiful) still wasn't smoothed out in terms of animation.

The only reason I mention Wicked is because Idina Menzel is in both that and Frozen, her singing is just wonderful.

So yeah if anything I think I'm being a bit generous with the B+, but there's nothing I outright hated or even disliked and I do recommend it (the snowman was pretty stupid but they handle him on a very low-level of obnoxiousness). The crime of this film is how it was marketed, the movie is a lot better than the trailers would have had you believed.

EDIT: I've been waffling back and forth because I'm wondering if this had come out before Tangled, I'd probably be saying that Tangled borrows from Frozen. I mean sure all the Disney princess movies have similar beats they all hit but because Frozen and Tangled were released relatively close together and the character designs of Ana/Elsa alone are interchangeable with Rapunzel, I can't help but compare them. But while Frozen is funny I think one reason I love about Tangled is that it does acknowledge the silliness and weirdness of a fairy tale movie on an almost mocking level.

Bottom line: Frozen has high points and certain things done right but Tangled overall does everything consistently with better results.

[Reply #315 on:]

I was wondering whether Frozen would be all that different to Tangled - I thought it was a bit weird that the main character seems to look almost exactly the same (or maybe all blondes just look alike to me in real life?). I still want to see it, though. But it's going to be on during school holidays so I guess I can't Stupid kids, why can't they have their own cinema? We finally get some money up in this bitch and we can't even go and see a movie in an empty cinema with it.

If/when I see it, I am going to be thinking about your claim to best song of the post-2000's, Spacedallian. I really quite enjoy/ed Tangled songs, even if I See the Light gave off serious A Whole New World vibes, and I hadn't thought I'd really be able to enjoy new Disney songs past the age of 10..

[Reply #316 on:]

Don Jon
JGL's acts and directs and does a great job, he plays the obnoxious Jersey shore type with an affliction for porn, even preferring it to the real girls he picks up at the club. He meets Scarjos character, a beautiful princess who has her own expectations of what the perfect man should be like.
Great performances and the story is thoughtful and funny at times.
B+

[Reply #317 on:]

I've never seen The Adventures of Milo and Otis, but I've heard the stories about it. Disgusting, horrible. Should have been banned.

Just reading about that film sends a chill through my body.

[Reply #318 on:]

I agree

[Reply #319 on:]

Do you really agree, or are you just being sarcastic?