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Author Topic: Least favorite commercials  (Read 11389 times)
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EvilLunch

Professor
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« Reply #360 on: 06-04-2004 12:11 »
« Last Edit on: 06-04-2004 12:11 »

There are local ones for cars and scratch n dent washing machines[Central Floridians will smile and nod, the rest of you can never fathom the horror] that chafe me... One for Empire Rug cleaners where they sing the number and then "EMPIIIIIRE today!" which is horrible.. Any ads for movies that use a line that's funny at first but then you hear it 500 000 more times before you see the movie. Commercials for Viagra knockoffs with lots of phallic/penetration imagery get annoying. Even worse are the female sex aids where the ladies sound the the chick from F3... The one for Climatique with the Jewish grandma is great though. Imagine the scratchiest, most masculine old voice with a Brooklyn accent saying "LAYDEES, YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!"

wh00t, TOTPD.
To celebrate...
TheLampIncident

Urban Legend
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« Reply #361 on: 06-04-2004 12:25 »
« Last Edit on: 06-04-2004 12:25 »

All local commercials suck, but I keep seeing these commercials for some place called The Car Store with morons dressing in New England Patriots or Boston Red Sox jerseys yelling out "Car store! Car store! Go car store!" or "Take me out to the Car Store, take me out for a car!". It's so annoying and I HATE it!

EL: I think I know what you're talking about...is that the "Eight hundred five eight eight! Two three hundred...EMPIRE!" jingle?
EvilLunch

Professor
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« Reply #362 on: 06-04-2004 19:20 »

YES. I hate that fucking commercial so much. I want to stab it. It isnh't so bad the first time, but the 50,000 subsequent times are evil. I'd avoid it if my Mom didn't watch those court shows all the time. EVERY CM BREAK, it plays! [weeps like Zoidberg]
TheLampIncident

Urban Legend
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« Reply #363 on: 06-04-2004 20:01 »

I didn't think that was more than a local commercial...but there is a local commercial I hate for a place called Magic Mortgage. This guy fell asleep and he's for some reason dreaming about getting a mortgage. All the people are like "Thanks for applying, can I have a down payment now" and "It's my first day and I'm doing your loan" and the images of the people are all warped and it sucks. Then prepare for some of the worst acting I've ever seen...the guy wakes up surprised and says "Honey! There's no time to wait! We have to go down to Magic Mortgage now!" in the most phony voice imagineable. Where the hell do they find these shitbags? Seriously, I want to blast their fucking heads off.
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #364 on: 06-05-2004 01:15 »

I wish I could remember Billy Cononnily's favourite American advert in detail, but it was something about Piles.
nerdlingus

Professor
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« Reply #365 on: 06-05-2004 07:01 »

There is a Mcdonalds advert on (again) about their new taste chicken nuggets, they're now saying these nuggets are now made using 'real' chicken breast.
What!? So WTF were they made from before?

And the Loan adverts in the UK. You get all these chumps saying how great it was to be agreed another loan as they were in arrears or had CCJ's or something.
If they couldn't pay it back before why try again? Dicks.

"Ocean direct really helped me regain my confidence"

"It was so easy, all I did was pick up the phone and answer a few questions"

I say, you could get brain damage with all this monkey shit on TV nowadays.
David A

Urban Legend
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« Reply #366 on: 06-05-2004 08:18 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by EvilLunch:
Commercials for Viagra knockoffs with lots of phallic/penetration imagery get annoying.

Yeah, those are pretty bad.  The first time I saw one of those, I thought it was a joke.  I kept waiting for the punchline, but it turned out to be a real commercial.

 
Quote
Originally posted by nerdlingus:
There is a Mcdonalds advert on (again) about their new taste chicken nuggets, they're now saying these nuggets are now made using 'real' chicken breast.
What!? So WTF were they made from before?

You don't wanna know.   no no
Woodbot 2.0

Starship Captain
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« Reply #367 on: 06-05-2004 08:30 »

I hated those Three Musketers claymation commercials.Those guy where acting like Super heros instead of 18th Cetury fighters.
TheLampIncident

Urban Legend
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« Reply #368 on: 06-05-2004 11:40 »

You know a commercial that's so funny it's bad? It's that commercial for that thing where if you're having a medical problem, you push a button and it calls 911...I forget the name of it. But this guy pushes the button, slumps down, and in some of the worst acting ever, blurts out "I'm having a heart attack!" So bad it's funny.

It's almost as bad as that AOL 9.0 commercial with Jerry Stiller, and when he says "You'll be using an old Snoop Dogg CD to fill that spot" and then Snoop Dogg comes in and says "Now wait just one manizzle", that was so atrocious I laughed hysterically.
SlackJawedMoron

Urban Legend
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« Reply #369 on: 06-05-2004 11:42 »

Every single ad for Alias for the past two months or so.
They're all minor varients on the: "She's supposed to be good, but really she's an evil fucking bitch" theme. And they haven't changed this format in ages. Gaaaaaargh!
Ozor Mox

Starship Captain
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« Reply #370 on: 06-05-2004 14:27 »

For a while before Big Brother invaded the TV schedules, there was an advert which featured clips from previous episodes. One of them was Jade looking like a walrus as usual, and she said "am I minging?" or something similar and, good God, her voice. I almost rammed my fist through the television set.

gottalovebender

Bending Unit
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« Reply #371 on: 06-05-2004 14:42 »

four of my least favorite comercials are for pepnobismal and geiko and some cell phone company which i forget and dell

the pepno bismal(sp?) one i hate cause there are all these people dancing and singing using simptons and hand gestures, it's just desterbing.

the geiko i hate cause they got rid of the gecko, and it's just people going "i have good news, i just saved a lot of money using geiko," like that's better than the gecko, ph

the cell phone one has kids sitting on a playground, and the teacher's telling them about how they can only have a ball to play with a certain amount of minutes a day, i hate that.

and last but not least, all the comercials for dell that don't have the "dude you're getting a dell" guy, the interns suck and i want the dude guy back. the interns aren't funny and suck ass


My hair smells like avocado
David A

Urban Legend
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« Reply #372 on: 06-05-2004 15:05 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by gottalovebender:
the geiko i hate cause they got rid of the gecko, and it's just people going "i have good news, i just saved a lot of money using geiko," like that's better than the gecko, ph

They didn't get rid of the gecko.  I saw him just the other day.  They just have commercials without him in addition to the gecko ones, that's all.
DrJohnZ

Starship Captain
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« Reply #373 on: 06-05-2004 15:12 »

I don't know if anyone has said this one yet, but any of the "Enzyte" ones suck
David A

Urban Legend
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« Reply #374 on: 06-05-2004 15:26 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by DrJohnZ:
I don't know if anyone has said this one yet, but any of the "Enzyte" ones suck

I'm assuming that those are the ones that EL was referring to here:

 
Quote
Commercials for Viagra knockoffs with lots of phallic/penetration imagery get annoying.

Even if she wasn't, they are the ones I was referring to in my response:

 
Quote
Yeah, those are pretty bad. The first time I saw one of those, I thought it was a joke. I kept waiting for the punchline, but it turned out to be a real commercial.
dimension_8

Bending Unit
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« Reply #375 on: 06-05-2004 16:20 »

I hate every single loan advert ever conceived by anyone!!!! O God they piss me off, every single commercial break...
aslate

Space Pope
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« Reply #376 on: 06-05-2004 18:02 »

I absoloutely hate cosmetic adverts, they're awful. All the same style, a woman with great hair/skin/whatever who doesn't need the product says how they just love the new product from whoever. Then you get a voiceover saying how it includes new, made-up, long and sometimes sciencey words that make it 10x better then before. They're just so annoying and pathetic, but i think it'd made worse by the fact that you get a string of 10 of them in a row.
Ozor Mox

Starship Captain
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« Reply #377 on: 06-05-2004 18:14 »

There is one cosmetics advert that says:

"Product X actually understands your hair"

No it bloody doesn't! It's a bottle of shampoo or something, it doesn't understand anything! Who writes these things?

Also, cosmetic adverts are some of the worst for excruciatingly poor dubbing.

Drunknmunky

Bending Unit
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« Reply #378 on: 06-05-2004 18:20 »

I hate those Halifax adverts with all those dancing bankers. I don't mind Howard, the black guy but its that fat bastard and the ugly woman who really get on my nerves.
phoenixie

Starship Captain
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« Reply #379 on: 06-05-2004 20:14 »

i dont like the new toyota commercial where the girlfriend has her boyfriends truck pushed over a cliff & it lands upright.
she's so annoying when she screams. fortuneately i usually dont watch t.v., and when i do i almost always mute the commercials.
DrJohnZ

Starship Captain
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« Reply #380 on: 06-05-2004 20:49 »

I don't like that Mazda "zoom zoom" kid.

But the ones I hate the most are the medicine ones, that don't say what the medacine is for or what it does (I think 'Cialis' or something)
EvilLunch

Professor
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« Reply #381 on: 06-05-2004 20:54 »

Quote
Jay Mohr: "You have anal warts...?"
Quote
That joke sums it up, regarding those 'mystery drug' commercials..
TheLampIncident

Urban Legend
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« Reply #382 on: 06-05-2004 22:18 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by TheLampIncident:
The worst commercials on TV are those Enzyte commercials...nobody cares about artifical Bob, his man beast wife, or how his one droopy small cock has increased in length thanks to a pill that probably gave him diarreha.

 
Quote
Originally posted by DrJohnZ:
I don't know if anyone has said this one yet, but any of the "Enzyte" ones suck

God damn you buttplugs! I said that only on page 9!

Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #383 on: 06-06-2004 01:55 »

I hate adverts to do with consteptation medicine.
kiffan

Bending Unit
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« Reply #384 on: 06-07-2004 12:35 »

don't know if it's been done, but what about thouse lame-ass commercials for "renolds wrap new non-stick foil, for when things get sticky!"  If you live in vermont, you've seen it.  It has the worst acting girl I've ever seen having a nightmare about a chicken stuck to the pan.  WTF?  then she calls up her freind and says "Betty, I had that dream again!"  and instaid of saying YOU CALLED ME AT THREE IN THE MORNING TO TALK ABOUT CHICKEN? F U!  like a normal person, she reasures her freind "don't worry!  that's why we invented new renolds wrap non-stick foil."  then they both say the cach frase.  I WANT TO STICK THEM IN A BLENDER!!!

And if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. --Groucho Marx.
TheLampIncident

Urban Legend
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« Reply #385 on: 06-07-2004 14:35 »

It's not really a commercial but it's an advertisement all the same.

One of my friends saw and sent me a picture of a pop-up ad with a black woman that has a surprised look on her face next to a text banner that says "'I thought that burning sensation was from shaving', Contact your doctor about genital herpes now". Too bad I didn't save it.
Kryten

Space Pope
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« Reply #386 on: 06-08-2004 02:01 »

I know they've been mentioned, but it bears repeating.

"This is Bob. Notice Bob is smiling. Why is Bob smiling? Because we have injected 300 ccs of crystal meth directly into his eyeballs. In fact, Bob actually died five minutes ago. By the way, is your penis limp?"
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #387 on: 06-08-2004 03:12 »

Anyone seen the "Invansion of the Fantanas" commercial at your local movie theater?  I get to see it every time I start a movie.  It makes me want to die.
EvilLunch

Professor
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« Reply #388 on: 06-08-2004 04:24 »
« Last Edit on: 06-08-2004 04:24 »

Those Fantanas make me die a little inside every time they make a horrible rhyme[And half of those couplets don't even really rhyme properly]!
I'd forgive them if Fanta didn't tase like carbonated ass. But it does. ....Not that I'd know.
Actually, any commercial in front of a movie makes me want to shoot someone.
The commercial that juxtaposes scenes from the Garfield movie and parts of the BEPs video for "Hey Mama"[A song I actually liked until I saw this atrocity] seems to be a preview for the coming of Satan. It's wrong on about 500 different levels.. I won't list 'em.
Juliet

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #389 on: 06-08-2004 14:17 »

Oh those ringtones adverts are so annoying!  mad

TheLampIncident

Urban Legend
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« Reply #390 on: 06-08-2004 15:37 »

Speaking of ringtone commercials, I hate that one with the guy sitting in front of the keyboard going "I didn't choose to become a ringtone composer, some people just have natural talents..."

AGH!
phoenixie

Starship Captain
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« Reply #391 on: 06-08-2004 16:37 »

Empire carpets are nationwide i think they just use cheap commercials to dupe people into thinking that they are local.

we have this lawyer who does these commercials with this "Lets Sue Anyone!" mentality. this man is so insanely annoying.
TheLampIncident

Urban Legend
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« Reply #392 on: 06-20-2004 22:55 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Spacedal11:
I like the K9 Advantics commercial, where the little lab pup is singing that cute song! I love it.

I just wanted to put this in here because I hate it.

Also, speaking of lawyers, we have this guy here named Jim Sokolove who seems to look at you with some sad puppy face while saying "I'm Jim Sokolove. I fix problems." in this monotone voice. It's so lame it's almost worthy of putting in the favorite commercials thread.
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #393 on: 06-21-2004 01:16 »

Never have I wanted to shoot a Panda but after seeing those bloody Adverts.
winna

Avatar Czar
DOOP Ubersecretary
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« Reply #394 on: 06-21-2004 02:01 »

Remember that episode where Homer got raped by the Panda.... Damn panda fuckers....
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
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« Reply #395 on: 06-21-2004 08:42 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by aslate:
I absoloutely hate cosmetic adverts, they're awful...
Second, you never get ugly girls in them with Before and After results!!
They have Before and After on weight loss ads, so why not face cream?
"Before I looked like this... *picture of a St. Bernard*..."  laff

And those ladies leg shaving ads are insane, especially the Venus one, it's fucking weird, a bunch of pink chicks driving around in a convertible sticking their legs out the sides...  hmpf
Speli

Urban Legend
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« Reply #396 on: 06-21-2004 11:15 »

Yeah, I hated that one tampax (Actually I hate them all) where theres these two girls looking at eachother and smiling as they drive down a highway, and the narrator goes "What if women designed the highways? There'd be more stops" or some bullshit like that. And then they smile some more and move around to show how comfortable it is.
Ozor Mox

Starship Captain
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« Reply #397 on: 06-21-2004 11:54 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Speli:
"What if women designed the highways? There'd be more stops"

What the hell is that supposed to imply?  confused   hmpf

Sm@ Cpt. Libido

Bending Unit
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« Reply #398 on: 06-21-2004 12:17 »
« Last Edit on: 06-21-2004 12:17 »

Anyone seen the adverts for ear wax remover where you see the ear wax dissolving! Anyone in England that watches Channel 4 in the daytime should know what I am talking about! That is horrible!
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #399 on: 06-21-2004 14:27 »

I hate that new Doritos advert, the one with the Brazillian theme with the bloke in the middle who is virtually wearing a please kick me sign.
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