Outrageous Prices For Food and Entertainment! (The Movie Reviews Thread)

[Reply #360 on:]

Sean Connery is the only James Bond!  Fuck you!!!!

* winna runs off to cry.

[Reply #361 on:]

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

…finally arrived here in New Zealand and I didn't go in with particularly high hopes given the track record of CGI sequels/threequels/etc. so you can imagine my surprise when I found that I rather enjoyed it.

It's not a 'great' film by any stretch of the imagination but Dreamworks has somehow managed to craft a whole which is better than the sum of it's parts, many of which are overly predictable, clichéd and/or formulaic in nature.

Grade: B+

[Reply #362 on:]

He's fine, he's at least as nutty and as much of a jerk as you are...

He's not fine, he's an insane egomaniacal zealot with a messiah complex and a ridiculous grin. And I do not grin.


cyber_turnip:
I saw The Hunger Games and thought it was pretty damned gritty for a kid's flick. I was expecting it to be rather sterile, with soft edges, but the things shows kids hacking each other up with swords and shit. Actually when

Show spoiler

that little girl got speared through the guts

I had to get up and check the rating on the DVD case just to be certain.

[Reply #363 on:]

Oh, don't get me wrong, it was very gritty for a kids' film, but it was still very obviously a kids' film. ParaNorman was also very "gritty" for a kids' film. Maybe gritty is the wrong word there, but I'm sure you know what I mean. My point was that I felt like the film's desire to be suitable for its audience harmed the story and the overall quality of the product a little bit. It's fairly unavoidable for such a project, but that doesn't mean I'm going to ignore its shortcomings.

[Reply #364 on:]

I watched some of ParaNorman the other day. So far I liked it better than Coraline. I will watch the rest of it when it comes to dvd or I find a better format.

[Reply #365 on:]

Chicago

Not bad, but not hugely special. The "musical numbers are all in her head" aspect doesn't work hugely well because even "reality" is portrayed in a vaguely cartoonish, dreamlike way which sort of undermines the point of it. It also means that all of the songs feel completely disjointed from the rest of the film and seem like more of an intermission every now and then when one comes along (as opposed to being fully integrated into things) On the whole, the film works for what it is - with a handful of the musical numbers being wonderful, actually. The songs are great on paper, but they're staged brilliantly at times. But the film falls down because all of its characters are horribly unlikeable - in fact, the protagonist is a cold-blooded murderer - and yet, the film expects you to be on their side. It's not like they play the fact that she's a horrible person for the satirical point it could have been. They just sort of expect you to go along with her being the "hero" because it's Bridget Jones. That makes the whole thing sit a little uneasy. Still, you could do a lot worse when it comes to musicals that aren't exactly "alternative". And it's far superior to all of Rob Marshall's other films (which are terrible) including Nine which I now realise was a poor attempt at completely replicating Chicago.

6/10


Cop Out

If ever one needed proof that Kevin Smith is a writer, not a director, this is it. This film is terrible. I expected a mediocre affair akin to Jersey Girl which was watchable and somewhat entertaining despite being rather averagey. Alas, this is just terrible. Horrendously unfunny and so ridiculously cliched you wonder if it was intended as a parody. It feels like something that was written earnestly, then poorly attempted to be turned into a parody through its direction alone, without any re-writes. I can believe it was always intended as a tongue-in-cheek mockery of its subgenre, but frankly, if that's the case, it's an even bigger failure of a film. The film is poorly shot, poorly edited, the acting flutters between passable phoning-it-in from Bruce Willis (clearly not enjoying himself) and Tracy Morgan's usual completely-unable-to-act-but-somehow-getting-away-with-it style. The film only really works in the few scenes that feature Sean William Scott and even those are far from career highlights for him. Plus, those scenes are pretty much all shown in full in the trailer, so... basically... don't bother with this film. It's fucking terrible and I can understand how it caused Kevin Smith to give up on the Hollywood system. I mean, if I made something this bad, I'd probably have something of a breakdown and announce my imminent retirement along with writing and directing two weird, micro-budget features on my own terms that don't really fit into any sort of categorisation, too. It's a shame, because all Smith needs to do is make films for the fun of it again. Oh well. I'm not convinced his retirement will be a real retirement.

2/10


Looper

Much like this year's other notable straight-sci-fi effort, Prometheus, for the first hour and a bit, this film was well on track to going down in my estimations as both a masterpiece and one of my favourite films of all time. Sadly, just like Prometheus, after a while, it caves in under its own running time and the scope of its ideas. However, unlike Prometheus (which is a terrible film), Looper still manages to average out as a very good effort. It doesn't exactly offer anything new to the genre (essentially being The Terminator in reverse with touches from other sci-fi classics thrown in) but what it does, it does with huge dashings of style, not to mention a great and thoroughly likeable cast and wonderful direction from Rian Johnson. Overall, Looper never quite reaches its full potential and, yes, if you think about the time-travel for about a minute, you uncover countless flaws with even the story's own internal logic, but it still makes for a great bit of entertainment and a very strong film overall. It's just not the all-time classic it could have been.

8/10

[Reply #366 on:]

He's fine, he's at least as nutty and as much of a jerk as you are...

He's not fine, he's an insane egomaniacal zealot with a messiah complex and a ridiculous grin. And I do not grin.

But he doesn't harm anyone, he just says mad stuff, like we don't complain when you say things like... *rummages through page 1 of your last posts...*
Bingo:

If you do make a penis cake, I can shave my pubes off and you can use them as decoration.

[Reply #367 on:]

Doesn't harm anyone...?
He ruined Nicole Kidman forever, and that other chick what got her tits out in that Cate Blanchett movie where she was psychic. You know the one, it had Keanu Reeves with a stupid-looking beard.
Also, he forces captive women to give birth to unwanted rape-babies without any painkillers. And he kills his male sex partners... before he's finished with them.

[Reply #368 on:]

Moonrise Kingdom

Wes Anderson's style grows on me with every movie he makes. Fantastic Mr. Fox is still probably my favorite film of his but this one comes close, it's just as quirky and goofy and awkward except this time it's live action. The main characters are children and there are only a handful of adults in the film (Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand and a couple others) and as excellent as the adult actors are, the two young actors who play the main characters outshine them. The movie seems to almost portray its children characters as the real adults while the adult characters are made out to be acting like children in a way, which I really like. It seems to be trying to show how adults can be immature and underrate certain children's intelligence and stifle them when they shouldn't, while also showing the reverse side of the situation: that although you may think you know everything as a child and adults may seem silly, in the end they generally know what's best for you. But regardless of the film's message, it's a really fun enjoyable film that kept me in a state of innocent happiness the entire time. Again, I love Anderson's quirky style and I hope he keeps making films like this. If you're looking for a film to just feel good about, you definitely can't go wrong with this one.

The Master

This movie is kind of on the other end of the spectrum mood-wise from Moonrise Kingdom. It's a very intense character study of a cult leader and a cult follower that has you loving and hating both at the same time. Joaquin Pheonix and Philip Seymour Hoffman both deserve Oscars for their performances in this film without a doubt...both absolutely kill it with their phenomenal acting, some of the best I've seen in a long time. Joaquin is as into character as I've ever seen him and Hoffman nails his character who is practically L. Ron Hubbard to a tee. I went into the film not sure of how much the cult would resemble Scientology, but I can now tell you, as someone with extensive knowledge of the cult, that the religion in The Master IS Scientology down to the last detail, except here it's called The Cause, auditing is called processing, and the state of Clear is referred to as the state of Perfect. Paul Thomas Anderson clearly did his research, especially when it comes to Hoffman's character...certains bits of dialogue and speeches are ripped almost exactly from the mouth of L. Ron Hubbard and things he's been recorded saying. The chemistry between Joaquin and Hoffman's characters is amazing, and their relationship keeps you engrossed in the film the entire time. The direction is amazing, the music is perfect, this could have easily been a perfect film. Unfortunately certain aspects of the film are very confusing, with lots of subtle implications that could be interpreted different ways, and an ending that at first will leave you wondering what the point of the whole film was until you sit down and really think it over or watch the film again. That said, I would absolutely love to watch the film again, so Anderson must have done something right. If you get the chance I definitely recommend this...very mature, thought-out, challenging stuff.

[Reply #369 on:]

Just curious about if anyone on PEEL has seen Shane Carruth's Primer? Got it on DVD a few weeks ago, I like it a lot, but it's a huge mindfuck. On second viewing I understood it a little more, but not much. Mentalness. Definitely need to go over it a few more times.

[Reply #370 on:]

Yeah, it's not a bad film. I appreciate the realistic approach to time-travel but it doesn't have much more going for it beyond that.

[Reply #371 on:]

Ted

It delved a little bit too far into Family Guy territory from time to time but it was a cute movie. Even though it does get super dark at the end there. But I liked it, the Flash Gordon stuff was great and my favorite scene was the Airplane! flashback.

B+

[Reply #372 on:]

The Brave One
Revenge story, Jodie Fosters husband (Sayid from Lost) is killed in a mugging and she is badly beaten, she wakes up and starts some street justice eventually leading to her husbands killers all while becoming closer to a police detective (Terence Howard)
C-

Moonrise Kingdom
Two rebellious young lovers escape on an adventure across the island they live on, kooky Wes Andersonisms ACTIVATE!
Kept me interested for a while but I was falling asleep towards the end, Edward Norton was good and it looked awesome though.
C+

[Reply #373 on:]

Smiley

The Internet and scary movies should never be in the same room. This was worse than Fear Dot Com if that was even possible. Didn't make it pass 20 mins.

[Reply #374 on:]

Since it's October my roommates and I are trying to watch a bunch of scary movies in our spare time. The one's we watched this weekend (excluding ones I've already seen):

Let the Right One In: A
The Innkeepers: B-
Creepshow: A
Paranormal Activity 2: C-

[Reply #375 on:]

"Let the Right One In"--some scary Scandinavians. Who knew Swedish could sound so sinister, coming from that little girl?

"The Lost Boys" is always great to revisit. Not too scary, with some very nice eye candy. Awesome cast, too.

Personally, I am very much looking forward to "Life of Pi."

[Reply #376 on:]

The Angels Share
Set in Glasgow a bunch of law fracturing misfits get sentenced to community service and end up getting a taste for whiskey... tasting.
Their leader, Robbie tired of being downtrodden his whole life and looking to stop committing crimes and take care of his newborn son and girlfriend learns of a rare whiskey being sold at auction for over a million for one cask.
So they plan a whiskey heist.

Kinda good, young actors a bit rough but some funny parts and a genuine redemption story.
B-

[Reply #377 on:]

John Carter

A flat-out terrible film. To be fair to Andrew Stanton, the direction isn't its problem; the script is. But for someone who helmed films with such fantastic scripts, previously, to not turn around and overhaul this piece of crap is very strange. The film is far too po-faced to work on any level. It's stupid and cheesy and who gives a crap about any of it? I certainly don't and the film makes no attempt to make me give a crap about its characters at all. What's sad is that there are a handful of moments that work really well, early on in the film, where it maintains a sense of humour for about 2 minutes (the scene that springs to mind is one where John Carter and a Martian try to communicate, poorly, in their two different languages). When the film maintained a tongue-in-cheek, fun attitude it worked, so it's a dreadful shame that it only keeps this tone up for about two or three scenes. It's not like this is a hugely wasted opportunity to make something wonderful in my opinion (though, to be fair, I haven't read the book), but it's annoying in that it's pretty much completely undone the goodwill for animation-directors jumping into live-action film-making that Brad Bird had garnered a few months earlier with Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol. So, yes, the end result is that this is a load of dull, overblown nonsense which flushes what little of an interesting premise it had down the toilet. Terrible.

4/10


Brick

An utterly bizarre film, tonally. I struggled with whether or not it was supposed to be funny. I'm fairly sure it was intended as something of a parody (or comedic homage) of film-noir, through the guise of high school kids running around and being high school kids. Certain scenes and elements are certainly played for laughs, although others are completely brutal. It's a confusing tone, certainly. However, the film itself holds up reasonably well - in spite of its meandering, all over the place, barely-anything-happening style. I like Rian Johnson as a director but I feel that Looper shows a huge deal of growth as a film-maker for him. This is inferior to that film despite what some people might claim. Not that Looper is a masterpiece or anything. But yes, I liked this.

7/10


The Station Agent

A strange, meandering film in which, basically, nothing happens. It's sort of a nice character piece about a bunch of misfits in traditional, quirky indie-film style but this one's got the novelty of starring a dwarf. It could have done more with its premise, especially as its opening minutes really set the wheels in motion for something wonderful, but it doesn't and what you're left with is a passable, if fairly by the numbers bit of indie vaguely-touching comedy. I realise that this review is very rambley and meandering. My justification for that is that I've reviewed it in the style of the film itself. Meta. It's not bad, though.

7/10


Terkel in Trouble

Just because something is foreign and "underground" doesn't make it good. This film is horrendous. Horrible animation meet with horrible voice-work (which to be fair might just be down to the English dub rather than the original film, but it seems to embody a style of actively trying to sound like a cartoon with not a single character sounding like an actual voice that a real person might have). The songs are, at best, bland, and the writing is immature and largely unfunny. It also barely has anything resembling a storyline until the last 10 minutes, and even then, it's nothing more than you might get in a Saturday morning cartoon - and not a very ambitious one at that. But no; it's an obscure film that breaks the mould, so apparently it's great. That's the general consensus. Well, you're all wrong. This film is shit. Fuck you.

4/10


The Campaign

Will Ferrell occasionally plays against type and he occasionally puts out a comedy that works sublimely well, but most of the time he's just churning out films like this which are easy to watch, but kind of crappy in spite of a handful of good gags dotted around. Sadly, his falls into the latter camp, and is a completely forgettable comedy with a handful of nice ideas and gags but nothing to really leave a lasting impression or even to particularly make it worth one's time. It's a shame seeing as - despite not being in any way an inspired or original concept - it's a simplistic concept that's ripe for wonderful comedy making. So yeah, nothing special.

5/10


Casa de mi Padre

Another of Ferrell's fairly generic comedies except this is slightly more ambitious which has its pros and cons. On the con side, Ferrell's films are usually just excuses for him to improvise for a few days of filming and then the editor cobbles it together into an hour and a half around a very loose structure and sometimes it winds up being very funny. Being that this is in Spanish, Ferrel's performance is very reigned in - to the point that I assume he doesn't actually speak Spanish, but learnt his lines phonetically. On the plus side, it allows for lovely Mexican touches such as the opening song "Casa de mi Padre". These help keep things moving along when they pop up (not often enough really, the film really begins to drag) and give it a bit of a voice. So yeah, not awful, but nothing special - like most of Ferrell's films.

5/10


Little Dieter Needs to Fly

Werner Herzog has a nice sort of feel that he injects all over his documentaries like some kind of crazy, German film-gravy. This is a fascinating story that, like most good documentaries, comes down to telling the story of a very interesting man. There's little more to say about it other than it's well worth watching if you're either a fan of documentaries or Werner Herzog. It's good and somewhat harrowing stuff.

8/10


Fletch

Fletch is a film I expected to be reasonably enjoyable without being any sort of masterpiece. I was mistaken. It was just a cliched plot and completely tiresome due to the lack of humour. It seemed to operate on the same logic as Beverly Hills Cop which cast Eddie Murphy in a straight (cliched) action film and wound up producing a wonderful comedy - but, Chevy Chase is no Eddie Murphy. This film is bland and boring and the poor sequel Fletch Lives that I've already seen for some reason has more charm, somehow (though, objectively, this one is slightly better).

4/10


Twins

Twins is a typical '80s comedy that seems to run out of comedic material once you get bored of how Arnie and Danny DeVito look different to each other. There aren't any jokes that actually come close to qualifying as funny and the story isn't exactly anything special, either. It's very watchable - mostly because Arnie and hobbity Danny DeVito are both very likeable, but beyond that, it really has nothing going for it.

6/10


Godzilla Raids Again

The original Godzilla (or Gojira as it's called in its native tongue) is a fantastic film - in fact, I might go so far as to call it a masterpiece. It's a wonderful allegory growing from the post-Hiroshima angst prevalent in Japan in the early '50s and as such - on top of a brooding sense of dread and despair - contains a wonderfully earnest anti-weapons message. Plus, it was just a cool concept and it's one of few monster movies I've seen that genuinely focus on the human story and just use the monster as a backdrop. All in all, it's wonderful. I know, however, that Godzilla has a reputation for being a bit of a joke. I'd seen a small selection of Godzilla sequels before this and they were terrible - reducing the first film to people in rubber suits hitting each other because it's cool and it'll sell toys to kids. I expected this to be a gradual decline and for the first few Godzilla films to at least attempt to earnestly replicate what worked in the first film and build upon it. Sadly, I was mistaken as this is straight into the laughable special effects, no attempt at logic, bullshit storyline and endless shots of monsters fighting each other area as the sequels I'd seen. No slow decline, then. I wouldn't have too much of a problem with monster fighting for monster fighting's sake if it were fun, but here, it's just boring beyond the odd bit of unintentionally hilarious dialogue or, as I already mentioned, the special effects. After watching it, I found out that this film was rushed to the point that they got it released in theatres six months after the first film. That pretty much explains everything.

3/10

[Reply #378 on:]

Ocean's Eleven (2001)
I hadn't seen the third one and barely remember the second one so I might as well start from the first.
The thing that bugs me about it is while it's supposed to be fun, there's never really any danger for anyone, and where the hell are these guys keeping all their immaculate suits?!
How cool is Andy Garcia in it though?
C+

[Reply #379 on:]

Jack Knife (2011)

Pretty decent movie with a bit of a strong pacing coming out the gate.  Jennifer Ragnet was adorable as the clumsy dimsical to Brent Sutherford's protagonist.  What's really weird about this movie is that the plot shifts dynamically each time you view it and see how the experience begins to unfold itself.  A similar story set in so many seasons might not have quite the right grasp that director Frank Marco was going for with this.  It's silly and intrepid, action packed like a cock on the firing pin end of a hand grenade, and yet it speaks softly to tell the audience what we might have been like to grow up as kids and learn to love afterall.

I'd probably give it five and a half something out of a few barrels.  A movie worth owning in my opinion.

[Reply #380 on:]

Oceans Twelve
I realise these films are basically circle jerks for how sophisticated Steven Soderbergh and the cast can dress up and go to awesome fancy places, but it all became weirdly meta when Tess' character (played by Julia Roberts) had to pretend to be... Julia Roberts... wut? 
At least Bruce Willis showed up as himself to rescue the situation... or something.
Also some shit got stolen and Vincent Cassell did a laser dance.
C-

[Reply #381 on:]

You were just waiting to make an Oceans Sandwich, weren't you?

[Reply #382 on:]

Oceans Twelve
I realise these films are basically circle jerks for how sophisticated Steven Soderbergh and the cast can dress up and go to awesome fancy places, but it all became weirdly meta when Tess' character (played by Julia Roberts) had to pretend to be... Julia Roberts... wut? 
At least Bruce Willis showed up as himself to rescue the situation... or something.
Also some shit got stolen and Vincent Cassell did a laser dance.
C-

Regardless of what people say about Ocean's 12, I love the soundtrack to it.

[Reply #383 on:]

Frankenweenie

Tim Burton attracts a lot of criticism these days. Personally, I think this is hugely unfair criticism. People complain about his constant hiring of Johnny Depp despite the fact that it clearly works and nobody seems to have a problem with Scorsese's insistence on working with De Niro or the Coen brothers constantly working with George Clooney. They also like to complain that he lacks originality - claiming that everything he makes these days is an adaptation of something, be it a book or a remake of an earlier film. So what? He's not a writer. He's a director. It's not his job to come up with original stories, it's his job to bring stories to life and he's still doing a wonderful job of that. Dark Shadows was competently directed, it was just horribly written. Alice in Wonderland was crap on pretty much all fronts, but come on, the man has an outstanding body of work behind him and that's allowed him the right to make a few bad films if you ask me. Plus, it's not that long ago since Tim absolutely knocked it out of the park. Sweeney Todd came out in 2007 and represents what is perhaps the greatest adaptation of a stage musical to film to date. This will, no doubt, be completely overshadowed by Les Miserables when it arrives at the end of this year, but that doesn't stop Sweeney Todd being an outstanding adaptation is so far as it actually adapts the show to film. The actors aren't performing to the back row; they're performing to the front. It's a true film and it's a beautiful job of making such. In my mind, it stands as his 2nd best film in his entire filmography (3rd if you count The Nightmare Before Christmas as one of his). Anyway, now you have context of my feelings on Tim Burton. I love him, I think he's a hugely under-rated director given the backlash he receives and how people seem reluctant to take him seriously despite his very unique voice and the fact that he's produced downright masterpieces like Ed Wood. But, his output has waned as of recent and his last two films before Frankenweenie were two of the only three films that he's made that I'd say qualify as genuinely bad. All of his other films are all at very least alright, if not fantastic. That's why it's both refreshing and something of a load of my mind to have seen Frankenweenie which stands up as one of Tim Burton's best films to date. It's a remake of a short film he made in his very early days working at Disney (which lead to them firing him due to it being too dark for their liking, only for him to wind up making Alice in Wonderland for them in the future, making them billions of dollars ((Alice was one of the 10 highest grossing films of all time at some point - sad I know)) and now for him to be Disney's golden boy). Now, I'm actually not the biggest fan of Frankenweenie (the short) in the world. I know most of Tim's die-hard fans swear by it but I always felt a bit underwhelmed with it despite liking the basic concept and I suppose it was always overshadowed by being right next to his other early work, Vincent, on the The Nightmare Before Christmas DVD special features. Frankenweenie feels almost like a parody of a Tim Burton film in that it's SO overtly of his style and nature. It's stop-start animation, it's black and white, it's dark, it's full of Universal-inspired horror movie monsters and the character designs are, at times, ridiculously Burton-esque. That said, it winds up feeling like more like Tim getting back to his roots - and it's a good thing. The story is heartfelt and really very emotionally engaging. I was surprised at how much the emotional beats worked for me, but I suppose what I've seen Tim say in promotional interviews - that a child's love of their dog is often their first love and the first time they experience unconditional love for someone who isn't a relative - is very true. It resonates because it's very true to life and, as a result, it's very relatable. But more importantly, the film is hugely entertaining, throwing all sorts of classic movie monster fun our way with the end resembling a sort of The Cabin in the Woods for children. Wrap that all up in the packaging of utterly beautiful animation (both in terms of how it looks on a cursory glance and on how the characters actually move within their world - the animation on Sparky the dog is particularly outstanding, really standing to bring him to life as a very believable dog in spite of him being as intelligent as dogs in kids films often are) which builds a wonderful world based around Universal's classic monster movies (which are a wonderful selection of films, by the way - you'll enjoy Frankenweenie more if you're a fan of those and if you're not a fan of those, it's because you haven't seen them or you have bad taste - take your pick) and you've got a wonderful film on your hands - Frankenweenie to be precise. It's far from perfect with a handful of characters feeling ridiculously two-dimensional and under-written, a few loose plot ends that feel somewhat messy and Danny Elfman's score just going through the numbers - which is a shame seeing as how every other aspect of Tim's repertoire feels refreshed and full of new life - but it still stands out as an utterly wonderful piece of work which currently stands as one of the best films of this year and, as I said, one of Tim's best to date - which, in my opinion, is saying something.

8/10


Last Night

One thing that's worth saying off the bat is that this film is basically the exact same film as the recent Steve Carell / Keira Knightley affair, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. You could make an argument for that film being a gigantic rip-off of this although, I suspect, it's more that they just wound up being very similar out of chance. I mean, the end of times is a fairly universal concept that lots of people are going to want to explore and it's a concept that lends itself to both quirky comedy and people being thrown together and romantic happenings taking place off of that. This film is a lot better than Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, however. It's a far more believable take of how people would behave in their final hours and it's funnier, too. In fact, the only way in which this film is inferior to that unofficial remake is that Last Night's characters are mostly all fairly hard to invest in. They're not exactly unlikeable but nothing makes you want to root for them. You're happy to just observe and let them do their thing - and I don't think this is the film's intention. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, on the other hand, stars Steve Carell, the most inherently likable man on the planet so, you know? Imagine if Steve had been the protagonist in Last Night instead. This would have been a masterpiece. Anyway, it's a reasonably earnest and well observed look at Earth in its final hours and it hits the vast majority of its marks. It's hugely depressing in one sense, but somewhat uplifting in another. It's a great film overall and I was amazed that I'd never heard of it until very recently - it's certainly not a film that anyone in "the mainstream" is aware of. But then I realised that the film was Canadian and it all made sense. Lost to the ages; a true hidden gem.

8/10


Cockneys vs Zombies

To give you a sense of how much I love zombie movies, I'll start this review by letting you know that this is the 98th zombie movie I've seen to date. I'm a huge fan of the genre and given that I've seen so much of it, I'm always happy when I can find a zombie film that's even just passable (especially as 90% of zombie movies are awful, anyway. So yes, Cockneys vs Zombies isn't exactly a great film - hell, it's barely even a good film, but it's alright and that's pretty good given that it's a zombie film. It's basically the film I would have written in high school if I'd grown up in the East End of London - and I mean that quite literally so as to include the level of writing. The dialogue in the film is downright awful, never moving beyond being purely expositional with characters saying things along the lines of "There's zombies everywhere" and "We need to get out of here" or even just downright stating their emotions, outright. This is all peppered with Cockney rhyming slang and other such colloquialisms which disguise it in a manner akin to serving someone dog shit covered in Reggae Reggae sauce. But, if there's ever a film where awful dialogue can be forgiven, I suppose it's a horror comedy. The colloquialisms in question are also responsible for the vast majority of the gags that are actually funny. People reacting by calling zombies "minging" and so forth is amusing, as is the simple joy of just hearing Alan "Rent a Cockney" Ford shouting "fuck" every other word. "Fucking zombie mugs", etc. Glorious. In fact, he's the best thing about this film without question - well the best thing actually in the film - more on that later. The film is full of other stupid moments such as when the characters take a double decker bus as their zombie traversing vehicle despite the fact that that's a horrible choice of defensive vehicle. Top-heavy meaning that it has to drive slowly and with door on the back that doesn't even close? And the film doesn't seem to think this is stupid because it plays it up as a badass vehicle and the characters essentially get away with it. The film is full of stuff like this as well as cartoonish behaviour from characters that makes the tone inconsistent, the fact that their reaction to the world being overrun with zombies is completely nonchalant and the way that the zombies never feel like any sort of threat which sort of undermines the entire film, really. Also the ending sucks. It's a typically ambiguous ending that one can expect from the genre, but come on, really? I hate endings like this film's because frankly, it just comes down to laziness. Oh, also, towards the start of the film it falls into an increasingly prevalant comedy-writing trap whereby people seem to think that referring to something then showing a quick-cut in the edit of what they were just referring to qualifies as a joke. I'm going to attribute this to Family Guy, or rather, a total lack of understanding of why Family Guy is funny. Family Guy will use the dialogue as a laboured set up to crow-bar what is often a great gag into the episode. The gag is usually an independent and therefore fully formed gag and it's quickfire which means that if it hits, it hits hard and if it doesn't it's over too soon to care. This film (and lots of other media) clearly think "Ooh, let's cut to them doing what they just said and it'll be funny like on Family Guy" but it isn't because it's not a fully formed joke in its own right - in fact, it's often more running time that serves to take away from a gag setting the footage up. A lot of the jokes in this would have been funnier without cut-aways. Other than that, though, the film sort of works as a nice, light-hearted comedy romp. It's on par with a mid-level British sitcom, providing a handful of genuine laughs in among a lot that don't quite hit. If you're a fan of horror comedies in general or just someone who doesn't really have high standards and will laugh at pretty much anything, this is highly recommended. The best thing in the film (which I mentioned before) is the end credits song recorded by none other than Chas and Dave. It's perfectly in keeping with everything a film called Cockneys vs Zombies should be and it's a shame that the film doesn't have more moments as inspired as when Chas and Dave start singing "Going head to head with the undead!" over a cool still of beloved Alan Ford. Not bad - though far from great. As I said, if you're someone who likes the sound of a film called Cockneys vs Zombies, you're probably the sort of person who'd enjoy this. Or if you're a zombie fan but think it sounds terrible - well, it's a lot better than the name would have you believe. But if you're a general movie-goer, don't bother. Horror fans will eat it up but it's not for anyone else.

6/10

[Reply #384 on:]

Hotel Rwanda

"Ten years ago some of the worst atrocities in the history of mankind took place in the country of Rwanda--and in an era of high-speed communication and round the clock news, the events went almost unnoticed by the rest of the world. In only three months, one million people were brutally murdered. In the face of these unspeakable actions, inspired by his love for his family, an ordinary man, Paul Rusesabagina, summons extraordinary courage to save the lives of over a thousand helpless refugees, by granting them shelter in the hotel he manages; Sabena Hôtel des Mille Collines." - Sujit R. Varma, IMDb.

A movie based on the terrible events that occurred in Rwanda in 1994. Sad, tragic, and dramatic movie about love, friendship, trust, and bravery. Very moving film. Music was spot on, especially at the end credits. But it had suspense and tears around every corner, and surprise events when you least expect it. I for one found this movie very touching and very moving, and would definitely watch it again if I had to.

10/10


The Amazing Spiderman

All I can say is; I would do anything to be able to move like he does. More seriously though, it was an alright movie, and I didn't mind it. From what I heard they tried to remake the old Spiderman like they did to the Batman, so it would be more "serious". In that, I don't entirely think it worked too well. But the film itself was alright.

7/10

[Reply #385 on:]

Sinister:

A surprisingly fun horror film. I hadn't seen any Paranormal film or Insidious going into it, so I had no idea what to expect, but the end result was very entertaining. Ethan Hawke is great as the lead, and thanks to the writing and his performance, it actually sort of makes sense why he chooses to stay in the house instead of getting the fuck out as soon as possible, like most horror leads should but never do. There are a few cheap jump scares, but for each one, there's another scare moment that's very well planned and genuinely creepy. The music is beautifully haunting, and accompanies each scene and scare perfectly. I didn't really like the ending, and Ethan Hawke's wife in the film, whose name I can't remember, is almost a non character. She's just generic panicky wife, which is frustrating considering the other family members are all really interesting in their own way.

8/10

[Reply #386 on:]

Looper
Enjoyed this, all sci-fi and kinda noir-ey, JoGoLev and Bruce were good, and Emily Blunt too.
A-

The Amazing Spider-man
My friend showed me this website article detailing that they had originally had a different storyline where they changed the origins of Parker from the genetics of his parents (it's on badassdigest.com) but instead they gave us the samey plot as the Raimi films, it was as ok as the 2002 film, not better.
C+

Cockneys vs Zombies
Sean of the Dead type of film set in an old folks home on the west-end of London, thankfully not featuring Danny Dyer.
B-

Skyfall
Ok, Silva was a little weird (camp), and the plot to just get back at M was not as ambitious as other Bond villains but it looked great and there was some cool scenes.
Not bad.
B

[Reply #387 on:]

Skyfall's out in your country? Damn. We still have to wait another month. 

[Reply #388 on:]

Seance on a Wet Afternoon

This is a remarkably nicely shot and entertaining little, darkly comic, crime-thriller gem. I loved it. It's a wonderful concept: an overbearing wife convinces her meek husband to help her kidnap a child so that she can help with the investigation and gain some notoriety in her career as a professional spirit medium. It's well-acted and it's lovely to see things such as the London Underground in the '60s - but also, in spite of its slightly slow take-off, it's genuinely quite gripping and plays out like the very best of those ironic urban legends that make their rounds on Snopes - except with the all the wonder and excitement that, if you were anything like me, you enjoyed those sorts of stories with as a child. It has moments of surprisingly kinetic and exciting direction for a film from its time and, what else? I don't know... it's very tightly written. It's really good basically. Watch it.

8/10


The Phantom of the Opera (1925)

This is a surprisingly long film given that it's not only from the '20s, but also a silent horror film. It's gloriously atmospheric and creepy, dripping with most of what makes Universal's horror staples work, but it does get a bit bogged down under its own length - particularly given how simplistic a story it's telling, when it comes down to it. I enjoyed it, but I expect I'll enjoy the remake they produced in the '40s a lot more.

7/10

[Reply #389 on:]

Wreck it Ralph

Really fun and touchig with incredible animation, acting is grat, the story's a tad preditable but still a very good watch

8/10

[Reply #390 on:]

Wreck it Ralph

I liked it up till near the end. The movie lost steam and got kinda boring. It did have cake jokes and it did have a "Sonic Says".

C+

[Reply #391 on:]

Screw you both, Wreck-It Ralph was the most fun since Avengers.

[Reply #392 on:]

Brave
Nice animated movie, voice acting was great, and facial expressions on Merida and her "mum".
B+

[Reply #393 on:]

I don't think I posted a review of Prometheus but it was honestly one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The more I think about the more I hate it.

[Reply #394 on:]

Watch the fan edit with deleted scenes, it's meant to be better.
Theatrical is not final, especially when it comes to Scott.

[Reply #395 on:]

Screw you both, Wreck-It Ralph was the most fun since Avengers.

9/10

Only thing I hated about it was the two second cameo of Skrillex. WTF. He makes NO sense in the place he's at. Are they implying he's simply fictional? If he was he'd be better.

[Reply #396 on:]

I don't think I posted a review of Prometheus but it was honestly one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The more I think about the more I hate it.

I agree 100%. It went downhill after the first 20 mins.

[Reply #397 on:]

Brave

It was okay I guess. I didn't like any of the songs. Pretty formulaic too. How to Train Your Dragon was a milon times better. Its like Pixar is now Dreamworks and Dreamworks is now Pixar, omg!

7/10.5

[Reply #398 on:]

Just came back from the future after watching Star Trek into Darkness.
Not a bad follow-up, even if it didn't quite live up to the hype. The love scene between Spock, Uhura and Kirk was fairly awkward. William Shatner's frequent cameos were ruined by his constant winking at the camera.

[Reply #399 on:]

Screw you both, Wreck-It Ralph was the most fun since Avengers.

I'm guessing it was more fun than Avengers, because that movie, Avengers, sucked more cocksuckers sucking huge dicks made out of mountains of penises than some sort of homosexual penis vortex sitting out in deep space that rips off men's genitals from 7000 worlds across the universe, through out and beyond time.