Monty Python

[on:]

There has probably already been a thread about this somewhere but oh well. I love this show and the films! Even though I wasn't even alive when it started (and sort of finished) it is brilliant! My favourite film has to be "Life Of Brian". Ah those were the days... 

[Reply #1 on:]

Teral?

[Reply #2 on:]

Many don't care for their last movie, The Meaning of Life, but I'm quite fond of it. I almost died of asphyxiation watching the "Mr. Creosote" bit; I was laughing so hard when he spewed on the cleaning lady's back, I fell to the theatre floor--yuck--unable to draw breath. I was just lying there going "Hk! Hk! Hk!" until my chest unlocked.

But Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Monty Python's Flying Circus are simply the best.

John Cleese is my Lord and Saviour.

[Reply #3 on:]

The Meaning of Life is brilliant!! I remember in school we had to watch the man in pink singing the galaxy song over and over again, as we were studying space!

[Reply #4 on:]

all monty python movies are cool. the meaning of life is pretty weird, and that's why i like it... *starts singing every sperm is sacred...*
no wonder i'm a big monty python fan...

[Reply #5 on:]

Brilliant songs. #I'm a lumberjack and i'm okay, i sleep all night and i work all day....#   

The "Every Sperm is Sacred" song
DAD: You see, we believe--
[piano music]
Well, let me put it like this.
[singing]
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but,
I've never been one of them.

[music]
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN: [singing]
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL: [singing]
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN: [singing]
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM: [singing]
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN: [singing]
Every sperm is sacred.
[clunk]
Every sperm is great.

WOMEN: [singing]
If a sperm is wasted,...

CHILDREN: [singing] ...God gets quite irate.

PRIEST: [singing]
Every sperm is sacred.

BRIDE and GROOM: [singing] Every sperm is good.

NANNIES: [singing]
Every sperm is needed...

CARDINALS: [singing]
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN: [singing]
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.

FUNERAL CORTEGE: [singing]
God needs everybody's.

MOURNER #1: Mine!

MOURNER #2: And mine!

CORPSE: And mine!

NUN: [singing]
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.

HOLY STATUES: [singing]
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE: [singing]
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaate!

[Reply #6 on:]

...and the grand finale of Life of Brian constitutes my life philosophy.

[Reply #7 on:]

*sings* always look on the bright side of life...

right?

[Reply #8 on:]

Aw geez, here comes Impossible again, posting another thread about some obscure british thing that I've never heard of.

Hint to Impossible--we americans have no idea what you're talking about here!

[Reply #9 on:]

i just hope you're not being serious fishy. i mean, who hasn't heard of monty python?

[Reply #10 on:]

Well excuse me. We can't all be british like you, SpacemanSpiff.

P.S. If you can't tell whether I'm kidding or just a huge idiot, do the polite thing and assume the former.

[Reply #11 on:]

U americans havent heard of MP?! It was exported there. In the USA they had protests about "Life of Brian".

[Reply #12 on:]

and there goes FishyJoe again, arguing and critising everybody.

Room 101 may be british but it was in a book which was probably published in other countries.

[Reply #13 on:]

U didnt have to reply yo this thread. And some Americans may know what we are talking about. *

[Reply #14 on:]

 

Originally posted by FishyJoe:
Aw geez, here comes Impossible again, posting another thread about some obscure british thing that I've never heard of.

Hint to Impossible--we americans have no idea what you're talking about here!

please tell me you're joking. . .

[Reply #15 on:]

I thought everyone had heard of Monty Python   
English or not..i dont like the word British. People from Scotland are Scottish, people from Wales are Welsh, people from Ireland are irish and people from England are British. Do you see where I'm coming from here      I'm not digging at anyone either so please dont be offeneded   

[Reply #16 on:]

nininini

[Reply #17 on:]

To be honest, I never really liked "Every sperm is sacred" that much. 

My favourite film has to be The Life Of Brian and of course that song at the end is my favourite. 

I also like "Knights Of The Round Table" which is hilarious 

'We dine well here in Camelot
We eat ham and jam and Spam-a-lot.' 

[Reply #18 on:]

We're knights of the round table
We dance whene'er we're able
We do routines and chorus scenes
with footwork impecc-able.
We dine real well in Camelot
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot!

We're knights of the round table,
Our shows are formid-able
But many times we're given rhymes
That are quite unsing-able
We are opera mad in Camelot
We sing from the diaphragm a lot

In war we're unbeat-able
Quite indefati-gable
Between our quests we resequin vests
and impersonate Clark Gable
It's a busy life in Camelot!

I have... to push... the pram-a-lot!

[Reply #19 on:]

 

Originally posted by SpacemanSpiff:
*sings* always look on the bright side of life...

right?

Well, the important part for me is:

If Life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps, don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing!...

For Life is quite absurd, and Death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin! Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it! It's your last chance anyhow...

Life's a piece of s***, when you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You'll see it's all a show, keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the Last Laugh is on you

AND...always look on the Bright Side of Life
Doo de doo...de doo de doo de doo...

[Reply #20 on:]

heh heh. "ni".

[Reply #21 on:]

Guardian at the bridge: "What is your favourite colour?"
Knight: "Blue...no wait erm -AAAAAAHH...-(falls in abyss)"

[Reply #22 on:]

The killer rabbit!!! You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared!

We are now the Knights Who Say Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoom-boing-mumble-mumble.

KEEPER: Heh heh. Stop! What is your name?

ARTHUR: It is Arthur, King of the Britons.

KEEPER: What is your quest?

ARTHUR: To seek the Holy Grail.

KEEPER: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

ARTHUR: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?

KEEPER: What? I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!

BEDEVERE: How do know so much about swallows?

ARTHUR: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king you know.


            

[Reply #23 on:]

I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. --- Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus... Dickus?.....He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'. Incontinentia Buttocks...

           
Brilliant!

[Reply #24 on:]

 

Originally posted by Ben:
Teral?

Sorry, I was on a drinking binge.

Surprisingly we haven't had a thread dedicated solely to Monty Python. Now how is that for shocking news? This thread come closest, a british comedy poll, with MP cleaning the floor with everything else.

What's more funny, Fishy's sarcasm, or the fact that noone seemed to understand it? 

Well, enough with the off-topic chit-chat.

Monty Python is one of the greatest comedy groups ever. The show was brilliant, and still pretty much cream anything modern standup-comedians can throw at it. I'll take "Upper-class twit Of The Year" anyday compared to a Seinfeld episode. I'd rather watch "The Restaurant Sketch (Dirty Fork)" than an episode of Friends.

Moviewise. Difinitely "MP&THG" as the best, but "LOB" is also a really funny movie.

And to end with a song (seems like the popular thing to do):

"The Bruce Philosophers Song"

Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant
who was very rarely stable.
Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Schoppenhauer and Hegel.
And Whittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nieizsche
couldn't teach 'ya
'bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stewart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shanty was particularly ill.
Plato they say could stick it away,
Half a crate of whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
And Hobbes was fond of his dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates himself
is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker,
but a bugger when he's pissed.

[Reply #25 on:]

I've never seen "The Meaning of Life", but "THe Holy Grail" and "The Life of Brian" are amongst the funniest films ever made 

[Reply #26 on:]

Im a lumberjack and im okay i sleep all night and i work all day...

[Reply #27 on:]

I've only seen "The meaning of Life" but apparently thats not as funny as "The Holy Grail"  I heard that one was the funniest 

[Reply #28 on:]

A PEEL'er who haven't seen "Monty Python & The Holy Grail"? 

Yeah, it's an incredible funny movie, if you're into MP humor. I'd rate it as one of the 5 funniest movies ever. Makes me pine for the old days, when we quoted MP&THG for entire pages. 

[Reply #29 on:]

I LOVE Monty Python but haven't been fortunate enough to see "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" I'd love to see it though   

[Reply #30 on:]

The infamous "Watney's Red Barrel" from Eric and Micheal's travel agent sketch was brewed just down the road from my school, my Geography teacher went to the live performance at Dury Lane and me and my Cathedral youth music coordinator re-enacted the Black Knight sketch while on Religious Retreat. I was the Black Knight. 

"I'M INVINCIBLE!!!!"

[Reply #31 on:]

"You're a loony."

[Reply #32 on:]

SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM

"Now see here, I came in here for an argument."

"Oh, I'm sorry,this is abuse, argument is next door."

Reminds me of most of the staff meetings I attend.

[Reply #33 on:]

lovely spam, wonderful spam

"BUT I DON'T LIKE SPAAAAAAAAAAAMMM!!!!!!!!!!"

[Reply #34 on:]

 

Originally posted by Impossible:
We are now the Knights Who Say Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoom-boing-mumble-mumble.

you mean: we are now the knights who say ... ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-picking-zoop-boing-goddem-zoo-ogli-ziv.
and we want you to cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with... a herring!

[Reply #35 on:]

"We shall do no such thing!"
"Oh please!" 

[Reply #36 on:]

LAUNCELOT: Isn't there a Saint Aauuuves in Cornwall?

ARTHUR: No, that's Saint Ives.

LAUNCELOT: Oh, yes. Saint Iiiives.

SEVERAL: Iiiiives.

[Reply #37 on:]

MP Quote
MP Quote (good ones)

[Reply #38 on:]

This is totally off-topic and relevant to a very old post, but I must respond to the 5/11 post of Ghoulishmousse, which complained about the term British excluding the Scottish, Irish, and Welsh. S/he then went on to say (this is not a direct quote but the meaning is identical)...

"People from Scotland are Scottish,
 People from Ireland are Irish,
 People from Wales are Welsh,
 People from England are British"

Isn't that a bit hypocritical? Why do you insist that people are entitled to a regional identity but the English - do they not have a right to be recognised as coming from England, and not simply from the British Isles?

In any case, "British" is a description that encompasses all - Britain is defined as a country encompassing England, Scotland, and Wales. To call the Northern-Irish "British" is strictly incorrect although it is often done, and the Northern-Irish don't seem to complain. The United Kingdom is an amalgam of Britain and Northern Ireland.

I'm proud to be British, but I'm also proud to be English.

I'm aware this has nothing to do with anything -- and I'm also aware that I may have got completely the wrong end of the stick!     So please forgive me for hijacking this thread and using it to bore everybody to tears! 

Danny

[Reply #39 on:]

Danny - that is a very good...thing you did! I am also proud to be British, and also proud of my Welsh heratige!