Cynical Evaluations of Cinema: Movie Reviews

[Reply #600 on:]

Stuff was simpler when I was a lad. Your basic Lego block was carved from oak and you had to use a hammer to get the bits to connect together. That was good wholesome boy's play. They ruined it when they went to plastic.

As much as that was supposed to be a joke, you reminded me of Lincoln Logs and how much I used to love them.

[Reply #601 on:]

*Looks it up*
Hah, awesome.

[Reply #602 on:]

They're also making a Lego LOTR game this summer, heh sweet.

[Reply #603 on:]

Just to make the confusion complete, they ought to make a live-action movie version of a Lego movie version of a live-action movie.

[Reply #604 on:]

Catch .44
I thought this might be cool because it has Bruce Willis, Forest Whitaker and Malin Akerman, it's got a kind of Quentin Tarantino vibe, there's 3 girls part of a drug dealing operation run by a creepy Bruce Willis, who also has a hitman type of guy, Forest Whitaker (who is pretty crazy in it).
Some bad shit goes down, told in present-time/flashbacks.
Kinda meh.
D+

Warrior
Tom Harding is hiding from deserting the Marines and his estranged brother Joel Edgerton is about to get his house foreclosed, so they both enter the same MMA tournament and somehow end up facing each other in the finals, their dad training Hardy along the way.
Excellent performances and a decent story (even if some of the fights seem unbelievably short sometimes.
B+

Moneyball
Brad Pitt is great at being a manager of a baseball team... using special nerd powers of Jonah Hill to make the perfect team to make a comeback after losing for so long, it was ok, nothing special.
C+

[Reply #605 on:]

http://io9.com/5870792/deranged-old-man-mr-plinkett-reviews-indiana-jones-and-the-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull

[Reply #606 on:]

Review of that review:

Meh.

[Reply #607 on:]

Fright Night
A non-Twilight vampire movie, yay!
Anyway, I didn't see the original so nothing to compare it to, but it was decent enough, Colin Farrell makes a creepy nosferatu neighbour and Anton Yelchin was good as the guy who has to defend his mom and girlfriend, but David Tennant steals the movie with his crazy rockstar... magician... occult guy.
Effects were neat too.
B-

[Reply #608 on:]

^^^Loved David Tennant in Fright Night, he was hilarious.

Sherlock Holmes 2

Mmm, Robert Downey Jr being british. Gotta rewatch the first one again.

B+

The Adventures of TinTin

Great animation, very fluid and smooth. I liked it, Snowy steals the show.

B-

[Reply #609 on:]

Contagion
Oh man don't watch this if you have the sniffles or a cough, you will be looting the local supermarket and murdering your neighbours for vaccines about 1 hour in!
Also the virus (some kind of bat-pig origin thing, real nasty) doesn't care if you're a big name actor or not, so the body count is indiscriminate, but there's solid performances from all nonetheless.
It's the Outbreak of new 2000's!
B+

[Reply #610 on:]

Ronal, the Barbarian

A parody on Conan, the Barbarian.

The main plot was rather simple: When his tribe is kidnapped by some evil Overlord, the weakest of the Barbarians (Ronal) has to save them. On his way, he meets an incompetent, constantly horny young bard (mixture of "Hoagie" from "Day of the Tentacle" and Jack Black),a shieldmaiden (seeking a man who can defeat her, because...well...she was not just a Red Sonja parody, she WAS Red Sonja just with another name ), and a rather effeminated elf ranger.

In a certain way, the "weak one among the strong" clearly reminds of "How to train your dragon". The movie's main humor is derived from parodying the Conan Universes's archetypes (and not really in a subtle way..oh no, Sir...).

The movie got a PG12 rating, but I wondered why. For an animated movie, it's quite gory, the language is often beep-worthy, and some of the dirty jokes are also far beyond PG12.

The animation cannot be compared to Pixar, etc..., as the movie had only a 2,5 Mio Euro budget. But I considered it sufficient, and the characters/backgrounds are also nicely designed.

All in all, I had a really good laugh. The movie was quite respectless towards the Conan universe, but they also stuck close to the classic. (means: They did not try to give a classic plot so many new twists that the original becomes unrecognisable).

[Reply #611 on:]

A film that makes me unproud to be Danish.  Even its Danish title isn't correct Danish.  Wtf.

[Reply #612 on:]

Sherlock Holmes 2

Mmm, Robert Downey Jr being british. Gotta rewatch the first one again.

B+

I saw Sherlock yesterday. I liked it a lot, Moriarty was great.

[Reply #613 on:]

I saw Sherlock yesterday as well! We must be twins.

Or triplets.

I thought it was great but hard to follow at times. I thought this was just me being stupid but my dad agreed so maybe I have a case there.

[Reply #614 on:]

Tintin:
Awesome. Great casting. How they managed to find actors who look so much like the original characters is beyond me.

[Reply #615 on:]

It was uncanny how they found two actors named Nick Park and Simon Pegg who looked exactly like Thomson and Thompson but sounded exactly like the Frost and Pegg of Shaun of the Dead.

[Reply #616 on:]

It was uncanny how they found two actors named Nick Park and Simon Pegg who looked exactly like Thomson and Thompson but sounded exactly like the Frost and Pegg of Shaun of the Dead.

Nick Park?

[Reply #617 on:]

Went to see Sherlock Holmes again with different people and its funny how halfway through the movie Watson suddenly doesn't limp anymore. It's like being shot at somehow cured his limp!

[Reply #618 on:]

Nick Park?

I've been watching a lot of Aardman recently, leave me alone.

Timmy, he's Timmy!

[Reply #619 on:]

I saw The Muppets today with my cousins. I have to say, it was wonderful. It was funny, clever, heartwarming....I mean, it's the Muppets for goodness sake. I was overall happy and it makes me wish that I had seen more of the original Muppet shows and movies.

[Reply #620 on:]

Sounds good...alone for the childhood memories I should watch that movie

[Reply #621 on:]

I'll never be able to watch The Muppets again without thinking of A Boy and His Frog. Dear god that song rips me in half. I watched them all the time when I was a kid, Treasure Island and Christmas Carol were some of my favourite movies.

But now...

[Reply #622 on:]

Final Destination 5

I expected it to be kind of lame after FD4, but I was wrong. The deaths aren't as creative but they're still awesome. I can see that the 3D would have been great, and I'm not a fan of 3D.

And this is one of the only films where I have enjoyed the opening credits. If you're a fan of the series you need to check this one out for the twist ending, plus it's just as awesome as the others if not better. Deffo my fave of the series.

Tony Todd said that if the 5th one got positive reception he'd film 6 and 7 back-to-back. I've seen mostly positive stuff, so woo!

9/10

[Reply #623 on:]

3D feels  pointless to me,  most movies just add them because all the rest are doing it (That's what she said) and besides I get sore eyes when I'm trying to follow something on screen. Although I must say the 3D on Puss in Boots was fantastic!

[Reply #624 on:]

I haven't sen anything in 3D since I got a terrible headache after watching I don't even remember what in 3D like two or three years ago. Ugh no thanks.

[Reply #625 on:]

I think 3D is being horribly overused. Everything is becoming 3D for the sole purpose of making money. I especially hate the movies that they convert into 3D post-production. Not cool, man. I mean, Lion King 3D was good, but it wasn't meant to be 3D...2D doesn't transfer well. Almost looked like a popup book.

But hey, whatever.

[Reply #626 on:]

I hated seeing The Lion King in 3D it just looked wrong. But I must admit it was nice seeing it on the big screen for the first time.

[Reply #627 on:]

Indeed, I'd much rather go see it in theaters again in 2D.

[Reply #628 on:]

As far as I'm concerned 'The Lion King' being released in 3D was a fascinating experiment in rendering two-dimensional visuals three-dimensionally. It broke my brain. I knew what I was seeing was a two-dimensional drawing, but it had depth. I sort of loved it, if I'm honest, guys although it was nothing more than a gimmick and a great deal of my enjoyment would still have been there if they just re-released the film in 2D again.

I don't mind 3D, myself - but very few films have used it effectively so far. I hate post-conversion ball-sap 3D and I hate things being shot in 3D for the sake of it.
But then, I saw 'Final Destination 5' in 3D and the 3D was great. The opening credits were awesome because they were just taking the Michael with shards of glass and other things flying towards you in 3D in slow motion to cool music, not to mention how hilariously flippant the 3D made some of the kills. I also saw 'A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas' recently and again, I thought it was a great use of the medium. It got a lot of gags purely out of the fact that it was 3D and that justified it to me.

I can't see 3D being a legitimate movement that's here to stay though - so far I've only really enjoyed it as a gimmick. If any film was going to change my mind about it, it was 'Hugo' and whilst one shot towards the end was incredible thanks to how it maxe use of the 3D, one shot isn't enough to convince me. I need a film that's full of shots like that.

[Reply #629 on:]

The Thing (the new one)
They got the crazy creature effects and claustrophobic suspiciousness of the original down ok, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead in a Ripley sort of role, (but instead of saving Newt she's trying to save her own ass).
Leads nicely into the original in a prequel-ey kind of way.
B-

[Reply #630 on:]

Tower Heist -
Probably the best heist film set in a tower that I've ever seen.
Although it's sad that Americans still think every black man is a street thug.

[Reply #631 on:]

We do?

POST 5000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Reply #632 on:]

Although it's sad that Americans still think every black man is a street thug.

We do?

Apparently.

Although it's sad that Australians still think every American is a racist ignorant slob.

[Reply #633 on:]

The Ides Of March
Ok, a political, drama thriller or something: Ryan Gosling is a campaign runner for Governor George Clooney, who's trying to get elected for... something.
But he's contacted by the other campaign manager (Paul Giamatti) for Clooneys opponent, so he tells his campaign manager (Philip Seymour Hoffman) and he gets fired from the campaign, but before that he learns the Governor was naughty with an intern and uses it as leverage to get back on.
Good performances but kinda forgettable.
C+

[Reply #634 on:]

The Adjustment Bureau

This movie wasn't as thriller-y as I was expecting (which is by no means a bad thing, as I tend to dislike thrillers)--but it also wasn't as cerebral or Deep and Meaningful as I was expecting, either. Basically, it was a fun, life-affirming way to spend two hours.

Its message--though maybe a wee bit simplistic--was a nice one, really, and the performances were all top-notch; Matt Damon and Emily Blunt had a fair deal of chemistry. But Blunt's character in particular seemed really one-dimensional, and I wish they had fleshed her out a bit more. I don't tend to go for Love At First Sight stories--but, in this case, I think it worked okay. (In fact, I think the immediacy of the two main characters' attraction is what makes Damon's character's longing and sacrifices more...poignant, I guess? I guess what I'm saying is that it probably would have been detrimental if the film had dwelt too much on the why of their romance.)

Also: I don't usually notice this about movies, but I felt like this was really beautifully-shot. Like, the cinematography (if that's the proper term) was really...neat. Basically, the movie was fun to look at.

So, yeah. A solid movie, and one I wouldn't mind watching again.

A-

[Reply #635 on:]

Although it's sad that Australians still think every American is a racist ignorant slob.

*sigh*
I'm Austrian.

[Reply #636 on:]

Tower Heist -
Probably the best heist film set in a tower that I've ever seen.
Although it's sad that Americans still think every black man is a street thug.

Why watch that when I can just watch Ocean's 11.

[Reply #637 on:]

Yeah, why watch 'Futurama' when I can just watch 'The Simpsons'?

[Reply #638 on:]

Good question, actually.

[Reply #639 on:]

*sigh*
I'm Austrian.