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any1else

Space Pope
****
« Reply #400 on: 09-02-2011 16:19 »

I disagree some of the new films would be better on DVD, I think they're much better with an audience, and other peoples laughter (if any) infects you more.
Try watch The Hangover on your own.... :|
Poker face!
I don't know. Some 'comedy' movies I prefer to watch alone. Then it isn't so embarrassing when you are the only one to laugh at something that isn't really that funny.
cyber_turnip

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #401 on: 09-03-2011 15:19 »

On a similar note, I'd probably have preferred The Inbetweeners Movie on DVD because then I wouldn't be aggravated by an audience laughing at all of the broadest, stupidest jokes they possibly could whilst missing all the jokes that actually had a bit of intelligence.
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #402 on: 09-03-2011 15:35 »

Best to go to the cinema in the morning on a weekday. You only have a handful of people then.
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
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« Reply #403 on: 09-03-2011 21:38 »

On a similar note, I'd probably have preferred The Inbetweeners Movie on DVD

Y'know, you can watch films in the privacy of your own home, on a computer. There are ways.

Personally, I'd pay more than the cost of a trip to the cinema to be able to download a high quality file to burn onto a DVD to pass to my robot butler to put into the DVD player so I could watch it without a crowd of morons chomping popcorn around me.

I guess this is comparable to buying a DVD at the shop. But the DVD comes with so many annoying copyright warnings. Am I wrong to want to just be able to turn the damn thing on and be immediately greeted by the "this film has been certified 18m for violence and nudity" warning and get straight into it?
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #404 on: 09-04-2011 01:34 »

But the DVD comes with so many annoying copyright warnings. Am I wrong to want to just be able to turn the damn thing on and be immediately greeted by the "this film has been certified 18m for violence and nudity" warning and get straight into it?

No. No you aren't.

Lenghty flashy animations for various production companies, at least three warnings about copyright, another lengthy animation for the damned menu that spoils all the best scenes for you - all of this usually un-skippable. Then you hit play and are greeted by another un-skippable animation of the menu transitioning into the film, which still doesn't start because it has to make the redundant disclaimer about views and opinions expressed in the commentary you aren't even listening to, then another half-dozen company logos before you can finally start watching the film that you have, by now, completely lost interest in.

I mean... do they want us to watch pirate DVDs?
JoshTheater

Space Pope
****
« Reply #405 on: 09-04-2011 18:53 »

You wouldn't steal a CAR, would you?
Bend-err

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #406 on: 09-04-2011 19:01 »

JoshTheater

Space Pope
****
« Reply #407 on: 09-04-2011 19:08 »

Exactly what I was referencing. Thanks, booze.

I think the first time I ever saw that I almost had a heart attack from laughing so hard.
Nutmeg1729

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #408 on: 09-04-2011 19:09 »

I think the first time I saw that I thought "Is that possible? Because I so would."

Along with everyone else smile
Bend-err

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #409 on: 09-04-2011 19:24 »

There's also still the Futurama D.O.I.T. campaign
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
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« Reply #410 on: 09-05-2011 18:24 »

Cowboys and Aliens

The western gets a technology upgrade in this sci-fi action movie. It begins with Daniel Craig waking up in the desert, with no memory and what seems to be an instinctive talent for perpetrating violence.

Harrison Ford plays the bad guy with a heart of gold, and there's some sort of message about standing and fighting, being a man, and ultimately triumphing over adversity. Which can be ignored, because there's plenty of shooting and fighting.

It ends on a positive note, sort of.

Spoilers! Only read if you don't care about knowing everything!

Having watched this film, I now really want them to make a Dark Tower movie/TV series with Daniel Craig as Roland's father, Steven Deschain.

Overall, 7/10, worth seeing. Not worth paying more than student rates for though.
SpaceMaN

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #411 on: 09-06-2011 05:39 »

Just watched The Ghost and Mr. Chicken.

For a movie made in the mid-1960's, I find it quite entertaining.  I remember watching it with my Dad as a wee lad, and it still made me laugh.  A little predictable, but Don Knotts plays the lead very well.  A lot of little jokes you might not catch too.  7/10
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
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« Reply #412 on: 09-06-2011 12:15 »

Rango
Johnny Depp plays the title chameleon character, a lonely lizard with acting aspirations thrust into the harsh desert of Las Vegas, meets an unfortunate armadillo who sends him into the desert on a quest, but all he really wants is water.
On his quest he arrives in a town populated by a host of desert critters (all interestingly designed and having individual characters)
He takes on the role of new town Sheriff and a classic Western story of the lone hero against the corrupt bad guys plays out.

Pretty cool animated film, a few Gore Verbinksi-isms showing up (the surreal dream sequence reminds me of the one in Dead Mans Chest, and that episode of The Simpsons with Johnny Cash), and some nice references here and there (Hendrix and The Who ones in the closing credits).
I liked the "Spirit of the West" bit too, Timothy Olyphant does a good voice impression of "him", actually the voice acting is great throughout.

A-
cyber_turnip

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #413 on: 09-11-2011 00:58 »

eXistenZ
An interesting continuation of the body-horror ideas Cronenberg explored in Videodrome among other works, and unfortunately, something of a step down in quality. That said, some hokey accents aside, it's a pretty strong and compelling story, even if the ending leaves a bit to be desired.
There's a lot of nice ideas thrown about, but sadly none of it really forms anything solid. Still, an interesting piece and worth watching if you're a Cronenberg fan.

6/10


Cronos
Early Del Toro and lives up to the quality suggested by his name. Not wanting to give too much away, I can say that this film is interesting, original and wonderfully, darkly humourous. It's a very good early effort and it makes it clear that Del Toro was destined for great things.

7/10


The Andromeda Strain
Stretches maybe 40 minutes of story into 2 hours and 7 minutes with lengthy scenes of sci-fi exposition and detailed portrayals of how things are handled -but I quite liked it for that. I enjoy sci-fi exposition when it's handled well and the film has a good, dark tone throughout that kept it mildly thrilling at all times as well as interesting.
Not bad at all.

7/10


Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2011)
The original is a real gem of a film. A reasonably original idea built upon cliches that we know and love, and genuinely creepy. It, however, also leaves a lot to be desired. My first thoughts after watching the original were that a modern remake could be incredible if done right.

Sadly, this modern remake wasn't done right and therefore isn't incredible.
It's most obvious mistep is that it "blows its Jaws quotient too early" so to speak. You see the creatures very early on, and you see them in full detail with lots of light. The creatures in the original film look like dog-mess, but they're brought to life with their disturbing vocal performances and how we only ever get quick glimpses of them -meaning that our minds are left to fill in the blanks.
It has other problems too such as stupidity of characters, plot-holes and how much it pushes the suspension of disbelief. In the original, there is next to no explanation offered for the creatures' existence - and that works. In this film, it's heavily implied that they're tooth-fairies. Fucking tooth-fairies. That doesn't work. That's stupid.

Still, I have respect for the film for attempting to be such an old-fashioned spooky story and it's worth noting that the production design is gorgeous throughout. If only the rest of the film were that good, it'd be a mini masterpiece.

5/10


Final Destination 5
I haven't seen Final Destination 3 or 4, but I have seen 1 and 2 and from what I've seen, they're all pretty much the exact same film and that film is really quite shit, but also a lot of fun in spite of its quality.

5 is possibly the best of the ones I've seen -although I might just be misremembering things. It's a 3D film that makes use of its 3D nature -throwing things at you whenever it gets the chance and featuring ridiculous 3D kills. That's good fun for a start, but the film also has a great sense of humour that's stronger than in the previous entries and the story is ever so slightly better. It also has a nice surprise towards the end that isn't particularly clever or anything -but certainly adds to the fun.

If you've seen any of the previous 4 films and enjoyed them, I'm 99% confident that you'll enjoy this. If you've seen any of them and hate them, same goes for this one. Basically, as I said, they're all essentially the same film so you know what you're getting when you watch it.

6/10


TrollHunter
Far from the horror-circuit masterpiece many have touted it up to be, but a reasonably fun effort all the same and certainly miles ahead of the likes of Cloverfield (although it can't hold a candle to [Rec] or The Blair Witch Project). That said, those films aren't necessarily the best comparison for TrollHunter. Whilst it is a 'found footage' film and full of monsters, it's more of a comedy than a horror film. There's little else more to say -it's very silly but it sort of works. I'm happy to have seen it, but I probably won't watch it again.

6/10


The Wicker Tree
The original 'The Wicker Man' is a masterpiece. It was simplie, yet inventive in both story and style and genuinely unsettling. 'The Wicker Tree' is the opposite of a masterpiece. It's just as simple - which is a given as the story is basically exactly the same, but it's just hokey and leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
Everything about it screams "low budget horror movie". The original was but the original was made in a time where that could add to the atmosphere. Nowadays you have to be clever with a budget to make it work, you can't just let your film look cheap. That said -had the film actually told a good story, this wouldn't be too large of a problem. The story is just nonsensical gibberish stealing parts from the previous film but turning them into cartoonish, one-dimensional moments and characters. And then there's the acting which is quite frankly, atrocious. Particularly from the lead actress.
Oh, and Christopher Lee is crow-barred - horribly I might add - into one short scene just to try and sell the film a bit further. But seeing Christopher Lee in his current state as something resembling a dying owl, you can't help but think about how this film is sort of like the rotting carcas of the animal that is the original 'The Wicker Man' after it got a very bad infection and started chewing its own legs off because they got riddled with maggots, as well as going incontinent. In fact, incontinence is very relevant here because it feels like director Robin Hardy has gone senile and for whatever reason, has decided to defecate all over his brilliant work as a younger man. That's what this film is. It's like if Michelangelo had followed up his work on the Sistine Chapel by having a big, steaming dump on the Pope.

In its defense, it stays true to the musical nature of the first film which is something commendable in my eyes as musicals aren't marketable in the first place, let alone musical horror-thrillers, yet the music is one of the biggest aspects of why the first film is so haunting. It helped establish a beautifully eerie tone throughout the film -one that is sadly lost in 'The Wicker Tree' thanks to it being full of (bad) comedy. I don't remember a single joke in the first film, although I have heard people refer to it as a dark comedy... I'd disagree. This film however is like a pantomime in terms of its sense of humour.
Anyway, also on the plus side, I'll say that the film's climax did disturb me a tiny bit. More than anything because I didn't expect them to go THAT far. So there, two positives in an ocean of negatives.

This is part 2 in a spiritual trilogy and the 3rd entry is intended to be shot soon. Hopefully the next entry won't be as awful, though chances are it'll be worse, if anything.

3/10


The Stepford Wives
A complete and utter failiure of a satire on the gender divide. It's not funny, it's not clever, it's just stupid and illogical. All I can really say is that I like Matthew Broderick, Jon Lovitz and Christopher Walken and they're in this film. It's one of their weakest roles that I've seen -for all 3 of them, but they're in it. And also, the score is magnificent... or at least, the main theme that's re-worked over and over throughout the film is. In all honesty, this film deserved a nomination at the Oscars for its music, but heaven forbid that the Oscars give awards to each film based on their merits in an individual category rather than giving every single award to the group consensus' best film of the year.

Aaaanyway, this film is shit.

4/10


The Boys in the Striped Pyjamas
Ever so simple and surprisingly short and sweet. This film takes its basic premise and executes it (no pun intended) brilliantly. I have very little to say other than it's touching, engaging and nicely shot. The ending is a bit abrupt, but we didn't need to see any more than we did, so it works. Good show, I say. Good show.

8/10


Bad Lieutenant
I'm not really sure what the official link is between this film and the Nicolas Cage/Werner Herzog 'Bad Lieutenant: Point of Call New Orleans'. I think that film is a spiritual sequel to this, but supposedly Werner has never seen this one.
Still, they're virtually the same film, at least in terms of tone and meaning. Both are good, too. Dark, gritty and excellent character-pieces exploring this man on the brink of being absolutely pure evil. I'd say that the character created in this one is superior to Nic Cage's purely because this character shows a bit more depth with his moments of desire not to be such a bad egg and the somewhat harrowing ending.
In many ways, this is a poor man's 'Taxi Driver', but McDonalds is a poor man's beef burger and McDonalds is delicious.

7/10
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« Reply #414 on: 09-11-2011 19:22 »

Have you seen the original Stepford Wives?
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
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« Reply #415 on: 09-11-2011 20:49 »

Mr. and Mrs. Incredible (San kei hap lui)
A romantic comedy wuxia superhero movie? hmpf
Ok I'll bite, the chemistry between the leads, retired husband and wife superheros, Gazer Warrior and Aroma Woman is pretty good, it's kind of a romantic buddy cop relationship and the slapstick adventures they get into got a few chuckles from me.
(Kung Fu Hustle meets The Incredibles meets Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon)
C
cyber_turnip

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #416 on: 09-12-2011 01:55 »

Have you seen the original Stepford Wives?

No. My understanding is that it's not half as bad as the newer film, but it's still not great and doesn't do justice to the book.
wu_konguk

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #417 on: 09-13-2011 21:02 »

Some quick reviews

Yojimbo

Loved it, another great Kurosawa.  Great mix of the westerns for the style but with the distinct Japanese flavour.

A+

Fistful of Dollars

What a second, didn't I just see this film but in Japanese.  Still a good Leone film and nice to see Mr Eastwood being a bit more light hearted than I usually see him.

B

Superman Directors cut

Still highly enjoyable after all these years even if I do not agree with all the powers Superman has (at least there is not telekinesis in this one0

A

Superman II The Richard Donner cut

Although some of the scenes are a little rough since they were not re-shot when the new director took over, this does feel like a more complete version of the film even if the time travel by respinning the Earth is reused it makes more sense than the forget me kiss.

A

Superman III

I seem to remember liking this as a kid but after rewatching it I have no idea why.  If they let Richard Prior play the role straight and have him turn out to be the main villain (as was the original idea) but they did not and we just get some bad comedy with a super hero attached.  The only saving grace is that is not as bad as the film below.

C-

Superman IV The Quest for Peace

I think everyone should see this film, not to enjoy it but to learn a lesson bad film making cause this has it in droves.  you can see that the retuning actors are all trying to make this work but it is just a colossal mess,  the sound is poor, the visual effects are pathetic and the script is just bad.  Forget the long finger nailed Nuclear man, the real villain of this piece is Canon films for producing this atrocity

F-

Once upon a time in the west


I think everyone should see this film, to enjoy it and learn a less is great film making cause this has it in droves.  Bad films are so much easier to review since you can rip into them but good ones are actually a little trickier, easier to say just watch this film it is fantastic.

A+

Angels and Demons

Just one big Meh for this and that is all it will get not even a grade

Hot tub Time machine

Pretty funny and if you enjoy 80's references it is worth a rent.
B

Limitless

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would and I was pleasantly surprised by Bradley Cooper's performance.

B+

Love and other drugs

Mostly standard romcom fare but there are two good reasons to see this film and they both belong to Ms Anne Hathaway (I know that is a bit sexist but sheeeeeeit that is one hot lady)

B

hobbitboy

Sir Rank-a-Lot
Urban Legend
***
« Reply #418 on: 09-14-2011 14:05 »


 Her lips?

Don't hate me, Trinity.  I'm just the messenger.
wu_konguk

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #419 on: 09-14-2011 19:43 »

Well they are very sensuous
Archonix

Space Pope
****
« Reply #420 on: 09-14-2011 23:01 »

So recently, I saw that A Team movie that came out a while back. Takes me a while to get to see movies these days...

I set it going expecting to be filled with rage and anguish at how my childhood was being raped. All I'd heard about it before was rumours of how they were going to do a gritty reboot, and how the cast would be all YOUNG, and they'd do YOUNG things, and they wouldn't be OLD but YOUNG and they;'d have YOUNG issues and...a and... it was all stupid.

Liam Neeson, ok, that's a bit better...

I was very pleasantly surprised. It was The A Team. It was funny, clever, dramatic and it had them using fireworks to make things. Yes! My only gripe is that they wrecked the van near the start, but... eh. I think I'll let it pass. It was a good, solid, enjoyable film.
Gorky

Space Pope
****
« Reply #421 on: 09-15-2011 03:25 »

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
I watched this with a friend, mostly because there was nothing else to do, and it was pretty terrible. Except for Emma Stone. She was good. Also: Matthew McConaughey is hideous, and an awful actor, and how he manages to sustain a career is beyond me. Even a lousy, derivative romantic comedy like this one needs to have standards.
D

Annie Hall
This is the only Woody Allen movie I have ever seen, which I know is bad of me, but whatever. I like it a bunch, and wish it played on TV more often, as it is one of those movies that I always manage to catch when it's already twenty minutes in.
A
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #422 on: 09-15-2011 03:40 »

You can't insult Matthew McConaughey. It just slides right off him.
x.Bianca.x

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #423 on: 09-16-2011 08:45 »

127 hours was pretty good, the Sigur Ros song at the end was great
Christopher

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #424 on: 09-21-2011 02:54 »

I just watched Dr Strangeglove for the first time, it was really good and all, but...(from wikipedia)

"De Sadeski walks away from the group and begins taking pictures of the war room's Big Board with a spy camera disguised as a pocketwatch."

Why? What was the point of this? Why on earth was this important or needed at all?

"Just as Dr. Strangelove miraculously gets up from his wheelchair, takes a couple of steps and shouts, "Mein Führer! I can walk!,"

Again, whyyyyyy? Its just confusing and takes you right out of the movie, also what was the deal with his arm thing?

"the Doomsday Machine activates."

I didn't get this AT ALL. It activated? This wasn't communicated in the movie.


Really good movie, weird and misjudged ending :/
Tachyon

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #425 on: 09-21-2011 07:40 »

I just watched Dr Strangeglove for the first time, it was really good and all, but...(from wikipedia)

"De Sadeski walks away from the group and begins taking pictures of the war room's Big Board with a spy camera disguised as a pocketwatch."

Why? What was the point of this? Why on earth was this important or needed at all?


That was a reference to the prevalent over-the-top paranoia in the US/USSR spying game during the Cold War, taken to the extreme.

"Just as Dr. Strangelove miraculously gets up from his wheelchair, takes a couple of steps and shouts, "Mein Führer! I can walk!,".

Again, whyyyyyy? Its just confusing and takes you right out of the movie, also what was the deal with his arm thing?


IMO, the Strangelove character was based largely on the Nazi scientists recruited/rescued by the US during the waning days of WW2 in Europe, suggesting that some of them were true believers in the Nazi cause but happy to serve any master to further their ambitions (look up the story of Wernher von Braun, particularly regarding the unimaginable conditions of the slave laborers constructing the rockets at Peenemunde, and his work with the Saturn V).

"the Doomsday Machine activates."

I didn't get this AT ALL. It activated? This wasn't communicated in the movie.

It was made clear in the film that the Soviet doomsday machine had been on-line, and was automatically triggered by the nuclear bomb dropped on the Soviet Union by the wayward B-52.

I'm just a casual watcher of movies.  I suspect that tnuk has much deeper insight into Dr. Srangelove.

cyber_turnip

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #426 on: 09-21-2011 14:53 »
« Last Edit on: 09-21-2011 14:55 »

Really good movie, weird and misjudged ending :/
The ending is the best part of the film, and that's not some joke about how I couldn't wait for it to end or anything. It's a great film and the ending brings it to its most perfect conclusion.


Primer
An interesting premise, albeit far from an original one. It's handled nicely, although it constantly feels like an incredibly low budget, indie film. But then, it is.
The characters are the focus of the story and they're nothing particularly special, but the whole thing gels into a reasonably competent whole. Not bad.

7/10


Mirrors
The Japanese original isn't half bad. It's creepy, plays on a nice, original premise and has a fun, if someone inconsequential and stupid twist. This film manages to sap the original of everything good it had going for it, pumping it up with bad CGI and hoaky performances from people that are capable of better. The only good thing I can say about it, particularly is that it has Amy Smart in it. I suppose it deviates from the story of the original nicely enough to, offering more back-story -but it only goes to make things cheesier than they need to be.

Basically, none of it works. It's a bad film.

3/10


Red State
A very strange film. A real passion project from Kevin Smith and whilst I think what he was trying to do was commendable, particularly how he made this film completely outside of the studio system - it's undeniably his worst film to date.
It starts out as something of a kidnapping horror film using Westborough Baptist Church as the template for the villains -good idea. The problem is that it soon dissolves into a bizarre sort of satiric drama that was obviously written by a man that writes comedy but is trying his hardest not to be funny. It just doesn't work. It doesn't go anywhere. You don't really know what it's trying to say. And it feels extremely messy - countless characters are completely unwarranted and serve practically no purpose in the overall scheme of things. It makes me wonder if the film was originally a lot longer and got butchered when it came to editing.
Anyway, it's never boring and John Goodman is just as much of a joy to watch as he usually is, so there's that. It's worth watching just out of interest if you're a Kevin Smith fan. But yeah, it's not good.

5/10


Fright Night (2011)
'Fright Night' was exactly the sort of film that shouldn't be remade. It's suprising then, that this remake sort of works. It can't hold a candle to the original film, but it's a reasonable bit of fun in its own right.
The original film benefitted greatly from two of its performances: that of Chris Sarandon and Roddy McDowell. In this remake, they're replaced with Colin Farrell and David Tennant. Farrell is decent, nothing on Sarandon whereas Tennant is as excellent as ever, which means that he's not quite as good as Roddy McDowell, but that's not his fault -he still does a great job. On the flip side, the original film's other core-cast members were all really weird. In a distracting way. It was hard to put up with them on the screen. This film doesn't suffer from that, although Anton Yelchin is shit and I hate him.
The film does a good job of updating things to fit the modern world, particularly the relocation to Vegas, but these modern fixtures don't have the charm of things such as the old "Fright Night" movies that the characters watch on television in the original. Another reason why it works is that it swaps around a lot of the plot points from the original film.
It has a lot of little plot holes and unanswered questions, but for the most part, the film stands as a good bit of fun which strangley has pretty much the exact same tone as the original film, just 20-odd years later.

Not as good as the original, but as far as completely unwanted remakes go, it's not a bad effort.

6/10


Solaris
Fucking Russia. 3 hours of pseudo-intellectual bullshit. Spread accross 2 discs on DVD. This film is just mind-numbingly dull and its artistry doesn't justify it.
Just because this film is all Soviet and doesn't make much sense until you watch it twice, doesn't mean that it's good. My guess is that it's so highly regarded because most people who dislike it don't persevere for 3 hours until the end and therefore don't bother voting for / reviewing it.

4/10


Quatermass and the Pit
A brilliant overall concept and plot, but it's all so, so dry. Everything about the film seems designed to sap the fun from it. Shame, it could have been excellent.

5/10


Departures
A nice concept with good performances and heart, but at 2 hours, 11 minutes, it begins to drag. The film doesn't have enough material to give to justify that length - after the first hour it just begins to feel like the film is intent on plodding along for no reason other than it'll help to make it seem more meaningful if it's longer.
Still, the awkward pacing towards the end stops it being the brilliant little drama/character piece it could have been, but it's still a reasonably enjoyable bit of work as it is.

7/10


Boogeyman
I expected this to be one of those shit horror films that's a nice, easy watch. It isn't. It's just... it's one of the worst films I have ever seen. It completely fails to engage on any level whatsoever, the characters are bland, the story is shit, the special effects are horrible and everything about how the film is put together is off-putting. It's shot horribly and edited in that way designed to appeal to people not used to watching anything longer than a music video.

It's exceptionally shit, basically.

2/10


Everything Must Go
Could have been brilliant. The concept isn't exactly new or innovative, but I'm always happy to see new takes on films about people having a mid-life crisis of sorts after being fired and left by their significant other. This film's problem is that it does nothing I haven't seen done in countless other indie films, and I've seen it all done better, too. To add to that, it's neither particularly funny or particularly touching. It could have been both but it's too meandering and vague about its world to let me really connect with its characters and it seems intent on not being funny because will Ferrell's trying to prove that he can act.
In fact, if it wasn't for the cast, it'd be a bad film. Thankfully, they're all likeable to the point that they bring the film back up. And Will Ferrell's performance is genuinely very good. If you've seen 'Stranger Than Fiction', you'll know that he's one of the Jim Carreys of the world who make funny films but are actually capable of doing a fantastic job in a serious role.
So yeah, this is one of Will's best performances ever in fact, it's just a shame that it's in such a mediocre film.

5/10


Cedar Rapids
A good, likeable cast and a premise that's reasonably good fun -certainly very easy to sit through, are somewhat wasted by a lack of humour. There's a handful of good gags in this film, but not nearly enough to justify the comedic tone that the film has (that of a laugh-a-minute movie). If it'd been funnier, this would have been a winner, but sadly it's just very dry. It's not bad, but it's not good either.

5/10


Death Becomes Her
A fun film with fun performances from Meryl, Bruce and Goldie. It's not exactly great, getting a bit lost during its overlong runtime and ultimately meandering a lot without saying as much as you feel that they set out to... also, it could have been funnier.
But yeah, I can think of worse ways to spend a feature film running-time.

6/10


The Man Who Knew Too Little
A fairly cliched overall concept (mistaken identity / spy spoof) is executed quite nicely here. It's never hilarious, but it's constantly, at very least enduring -mostly thanks to Bill Murray who could make anything watchable, but also thanks to the likes of Alfred Molina and Richard Wilson.
It's not great, but it's not bad either.

6/10


The Old Dark House
A film by James Whale that embodies everything about his style of film-making. It's not even close to being as good as 'The Bride of Frankenstein', but for my money, it's better than 'The Invisible Man'. It has the same mixture of the creepy and odd humour found throughout his filmography as well as the usual sorts of cast which this time round includes a man who appears to be Peter Kay having time-travelled back to 1932.
The film is let down by an abrupt and anti-climactic ending which lets the extremely strong first and reasonably strong second acts down. It's worth watching for James Whale enthusiasts - or purely for the strange oddities present in it such as a woman playing a man over 100 years old very unconvincingly but without a hint of irony or the opening title card that lets you know that Boris Karloff was also the monster in 'Frankenstein' in case you were wondering where you've seen him before.

6/10


Son of the Mask
It's not half as bad as people make it out to be. I mean, it IS bad. VERY bad. But it's not worst-film-ever-made bad. And frankly, the first 'The Mask' film was hardly a masterpiece, either.
It's cinematography is worth noting because of how utterly baffling it all is. I can't tell if the director of photography was an inexperienced hack or trying to break crazy, new ground, but either way, what they did here doesn't work. Your eyes are constantly wandering to the wrong parts of frames, you're constantly expecting things to happen that don't and so forth - all because it's badly shot.
Still, aspects of the story are interesting. Loki coming to Earth to retrieve the mask for instance is quite a nice idea for a sequel. It's a shame that they threw in a load of crap about a baby. But even then, it's not like the Loki stuff is good. It's handled in a horribly cheesey way and isn't very funny.

Ultimately, this film slots right in with the list of other crappy Jim-Carrey-less sequels such as 'Evan Almighty', 'Ace Ventura Jr' and 'Dumb and Dumberer'.

3/10


Tootsie
A constantly entertaining and very witty film. Its storyline and premise are unremarkable, but they're brought to life with a brilliant script and a cast featuring Dustin Hoffman (possibly my favourite actor when I leave ironic choices out of the mix) and Bill Murray. Dustin Hoffman shines as he always does, making something that could have been extremely distracting (a man playing a woman) - not to mention, extremely uncomfortable and filled with sexual undertones - feel completely natural and normal for the viewer after about 3 minutes of getting used to it.

But yes, my point is that this film is executed well and aside from the great performances, it's mostly due to its brilliantly written script which is full of great little one-liners and musings.

8/10


The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
Given this film's existence as a remake of an intelligent and thought-provoking sci-fi classic, the presence of Keanu Reeves and the negative word of mouth, I expected this film to be a sure-entry for my "100 Worst Films I've Ever Seen" list. I was surprised, then, at how good it was.

I mean, it was bad, but it was watchable, had some nice ideas and wasn't too boring. Certainly not a contender for the list. It attempts to maintain the spirit of the original story whilst losing sight of the meanings and what have you in a sea of Hollywood bullshit, but it still makes for a more thoughtful than usual blockbuster. The ending is quite bizarre for a film of this nature, too -being incredibly downbeat when you stop and think about it, but served as if it's a happy ending because this is a Hollywood blockbuster.

So yes. It's a strange film and you're much better off watching the original, but it could have been oh so much worse.

5/10


Jennifer's Body
A reasonably fun film. It was basically sold as a horror-edition of 'Mean Girls' and to be fair, that's pretty close to the truth. It's not as well written, funny or entertaining as 'Mean Girls', but it has a similar tone and flashes of the same winning brand of humour. It's just a shame that those flashes are just that, flashes. When this film actually tries to be funny, it is... and it's sometimes extremely witty too, you know? As if it were from the writer of 'Juno'.
But also, what's remarkable is that when it actually tries to be scary, it does a pretty good job of it, too. One scene in particular was more uncomfortable in a sort of scary way than any horror film I've watched in the last 4 months or so. When did 'Insidious' come out?

Anyhoo, it's a wasted opportunity more than anything, but it gets by as passable fair -mostly thanks to Amanda Seyfried (who I'm in love with) and a surprisingly competetent performance from Megan Fox. Also, J.K. Simmons.

6/10


Stake Land
A bleak, boring affair that fails because it takes itself too seriously. It doesn't have the depth, intelligence or craftsmanship behind it to justify being as po-faced and sombre as it is and as such, it feels like they went with that tone because they watched 'The Road' and liked it.
That's the other problem with this film. It offers absolutely nothing you can't find done-better in other films, particularly 'The Road'. I mean, it is essentially 'The Road' with vampires, but with the 'with vampires' bit, comes the 'made on an indie horror film budget by inexperienced indie horror film makers' part. Also, the ending sucks. It feels like they ran out of ideas for where to take things, figured that they had a feature-length amount of footage in the can and called it a day.

So yeah, one or two nice ideas and set-pieces aside, this isn't good.

5/10


Tom & Jerry: The Movie
Yuck, terrible.

Not only do Tom and Jerry speak, completely removing the cat-and-mouse-chases from the procedings spare for a couple of token moments, but they speak with two of the worst, most horrendously miscast voices I think I have ever heard.

I often hear people complain about singing in animated kids' films, often when praising Pixar. I've never really understood the complaint, I mean... I love the songs in the likes of 'The Lion King' and 'Aladdin'. I think this film might just be universally responsible for turning the world against singing in animated family fair... there's a song every 2 minutes and they all sound like flat, rip-offs of songs from 'Sweet Charity'. New characters are introduced all over the place to the point that you wonder why they bothered putting Tom and Jerry in the film. Neither of them are the lead character... that honour is held by some annoying little girl, you know? To appeal to the kids? Obviously Tom and Jerry will distance children because kids aren't cats or mice, they're humans. She's stuck in some boring quest to find her thought-to-be-dead father whilst escaping from her evil aunt who wants to keep her for her trust-fund. It's all just... bleh.

Oh, and as I mentioned, there are a handful of sequences with Tom actually chasing Jerry which are clearly designed as a little nod and wink to the cartoons, but they're all very dull and incredibly uninspired. Not only should they have been the bulk of the film, but if they were as energetic and clever as the original shorts and episodes of the show, this could have been a great little gem of a film. As it is, it's sub 'Tom & Jerry Kids', which for those of you who don't know, means it's very bad.

3/10


Trust
An absorbing drama that handles difficult issues extremely well. It's sort of like 'Hard Candy' if 'Hard Candy' was much, much better. Story-wise there's little in common between both films beyong them both featuring a paedophile, but tonally they're very similar. 'Trust' is a far more intelligent film, however, and features some wonderful performances. Lisa Liberato is brilliant given her age whilst Clive Owen reminds us that he's actually not a bad actor at all.
It does derail somewhat by the end, leaving for an ending that isn't hugely satisfactory, but it's an overall strong piece of work and one that suggests that David Schwimmer is (quite surprisingly, I mean, who would have thought it back in the '90s?) a name to watch in the future. The film doesn't showcase any directorial flourishes, but it showcases a lot of very intelligent directorial decisions that will probably pass most people by. If anything, that makes for a better director than lots of whip-pans.

7/10


Bad Teacher
An extremely messy film, but one with enough funny bits to justify its existence. It's certainly much funnier than other offerings from this year such as 'Cedar Rapids' and 'The Hangover: Part II', although it can't hold a candle to films like 'Horrible Bosses'.
It's certainly elevated by a number of good performances - particularly the lovely Lucy Punch who is brilliant as a goody, goody teacher rival for Cameron Diaz.
Unfortunately, there are just too many things that don't make sense or simply don't work and the film sort of falls apart - most noticably the completely unlikeable nature of the protagonist coupled with the film making no attempt to use that to make a statement (ala 'Bad Leuitenant') and no attempt to explain the reasons for why she's so unlikeable, so as to make us care in a back-door sort of way.

So yeah, it's not great, but it's an easy way to pass an hour and a half.

6/10


The Guard
From the weaker brother of the writer/director that brought us 'In Bruges', comes this weaker brother of a film. It's no 'In Bruges' off the bat, but taken in its own terms, it's a nice little dark-comedy that seems to have sprung out of nowhere. It's got laughs and a lovely, dark sense of humour that really did it for me. It's got a good cast (Brendan Gleeson, Don Cheadle and Mark Strong). And as such, it's good. It just falls down for its pacing losing steam by the end (it begins to feel a bit bloated and bored of itself) and for it not really doing anything new.

Still, a good fillum and one of Ireland's better efforts. Shame that 'Submarine', essentially a Welsh film, also came out this year because that basically means that Wales kicked Ireland's ass and that's just embarrassing.

7/10


The Changeling
I love haunted house stories and this one starts out brilliantly. Unfortunately, it blows its 'Jaws quotient' a bit early and we see too much 'big' paranormal activity, thus sort of stopping the ghost from being scary. Add into that that at nearly 2 hours, it overstays its welcome. Had it been a compact hour and a half, it would have been much stronger for it.

It remains a good film though, just one that could have been so much more.

7/10


Legend
'Legend' proves that Ridley Scott is about as hit and miss as they come.

I rented this film thinking that I was getting a fun, possibly darkly comedic tale about an '80s businessman or something played by Tom Cruise, who'd be pulled down to Hell for whatever reason to face off with Tim Curry. I'm not sure why I thought this, but the film itself was not only dissapointingly different, but it was flat-out fucking terrible.

It's a load of 'Lord of the Rings'-esque high-fantasy bullshit about good and evil magic and light and darkness and blah blah blabberty blah. Now, I'm no fan of 'Lord of the Rings', but at least that film looked gorgeous and the special effects were realistic enough to take things seriously.
This film looks like 'Labyrinth'. It has the tone of a Jim Henson creation, but it's absolutely, 100% serious. Not even a hint of humour.
I can't take shitty puppets seriously in a film that takes itself seriously.

Not to mention all the awful, awful "nuke the fridge" moments such as when Mia Sara breaks into song after seeing a unicorn. This film isn't a musical, I should add. She just breaks into song ala a Disney princess and that's it. The film is full of bullshit moments like that. Hell, it's pretty much comprised entirely of them.

The only good thing I can say is that Tim Curry is brilliant (as usual) and his makeup is wonderful, terrifying, unique and totally badass. Every scene with him in is rendered watchable purely by his presence (although it irks me that the Devil has a british accent when most of the characters who live in the same place have American accents - what's that about?) but he's only in something like 8 minutes of the film's entire running time.

So yeah. This film is shit. If you have to see a Ridley Scott film with unicorns in it, watch 'Blade Runner'.

2/10


Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Beautifully shot and acted tedium. This film looks breath-takingly gorgeous, that I can't deny. It also features one of the greatest all-star casts I've ever seen in a single film: Colin Firth, Gary Oldman, Mark Strong, John Hurt, Tom Hardy, Benedict Cumberbatch, Stephen Graham, that Orson Welles impersinator and more! All of them do fine jobs so it's just a shame that the film is so incredibly, incredibly dull. And it relishes in its dullness which makes the whole thing feel smarmy and up its own arse... which I suppose it is, really.
It doesn't offer anything you can't find in other, much better films. It's just boring because apparently a film has to be boring to be taken seriously these days.

5/10


I Spit on Your Grave
I haven't seen the original, but this is a competent enough bit of torture-porn. It doesn't really have a story. It just has part a: guys attack woman, followed by part b: woman attacks guys. It misses a lot of opportunities to examine the relationship between right and wrong and how things like revenge play into that, is vengeance justified and if so, to what extent? It's more content with showing you images designed to pray on the squeamish.

Frankly, it left me longing to watch 'Straw Dogs' again, a film with similar content, but handled far more intelligently. I suppose this film is basically 'Straw Dogs' if it were sapped of all its artistic merit and then made 10 times as violent. So basically, it's the upcoming 'Straw Dogs' remake with more violence.

Still, as mindless entertainment, it works, even if it's uncomfortable viewing and arguably exploitative. It's hardly a film I have any intention of ever re-watching, but it was easy to sit through and if anything, it's made me more interested in seeing the original.

5/10


Friends with Benefits
A solid rom-com elevated above the rest by actually being (somewhat) funny and by its great cast. Justin Timberlake is surprisingly likeable, Mila Kunis is her usual self (hot and funny-for-a-girl). Plus Andy Samberg and Emma Stone both have small roles and Woody fucking Harrelson is in it.
Spare for a few cringey moments a younger me would have labled as 'totally gay', it handles the sappy aspects of things nicely and whilst we all knew what would happen just by watching the trailer, it made me care enough about things to enjoy the ride.

One thing I'll mention is that a lot of things led me to believe that there was an upcoming incestual reveal -that the two leads were long-lost siblings. I knew that such a mainstream film would never have dared to flip the proverbial middle finger so violently at its core audience of rom-com-zoms but, I was a little bit let down when things played out so conventionally. Anyway, that probably says more about my perverted mind than anything else.

Enjoyable. If you're one of these girl things that has to watch chick flicks all the time, you should definitely watch this one.

7/10


Somewhere in Time
A really nice, somewhat original premise - utilising fairy-tale sci-fi most brilliantly, allows for a story featuring Christopher Reeve going back in time and being an absolutely gigantic stalker - but in a sweet way where girls will pine for him like those dicks in 'Twilight'. It's quite laughable how if this were the real world, people would think him to be absolutely creepy following a girl around so obsessively, but given how it's presented here, it actually is kind of touching. The whole film is as well as just the right amount of funny.

The film's very good up until it's ending which really lets things down. It comes right out of nowhere in terms of pacing and just feels like lazy writing. We're saddled with poorly explained things bordering on being massive plot-holes (he's sucked back to the present and this puts him in a depression - the film never explains why he doesn't simply go back in time again) and then the ending is that he dies and the girl he was chasing dies, but it's fine because now they can be happy together in Heaven. Fuck off. Awful ending to an otherwise great film. An awful ending that absolutely destroys what came before it. Such a waste.

6/10 (would have been an 8 if it weren't for that ending)
JoshTheater

Space Pope
****
« Reply #427 on: 09-21-2011 16:39 »

I started reading all your reviews in full until I kept scrolling down and realized there were hundreds. How many movies do you watch in a day, man? wtf?
Christopher

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #428 on: 09-21-2011 18:18 »

Good god that is a long post
homerjaysimpson

Space Pope
****
« Reply #429 on: 09-21-2011 19:24 »

I hardly watch movies at all. Last one was Apollo 18 and it wasn't that great. It would have been a lot better movie without the handheld crap.
cyber_turnip

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #430 on: 09-21-2011 23:21 »

That's roughly my last 10 days of film consumption so I guess I watch 2.8 a day.
Christopher

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #431 on: 09-24-2011 23:02 »

I watched Sucker Punch, it was worthless
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #432 on: 09-25-2011 05:13 »

One-Sentence Reviews

Triangle
Awesome little under-the radar sci-fi horror film completely spoiled by a trailer that gave away far too much.

Battle: Los Angeles
It's like Independence Day and Black Hawk Down had a baby that was retarded!

I'm Still Here
-Unfortunately for the audience.

The Lincoln Lawyer
Easy to confuse with every other legal drama ever filmed.

The Rite
The Trite; we've seen it all before.


Haven't really been watching many movies of late - been preoccupied with an SG:1 marathon.
winna

Avatar Czar
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #433 on: 09-25-2011 05:24 »

One of my friends gets movies without reading reviews or knowing anything before seeing the movie.  He usually goes with Rotten Tomatoes ratings, but his method does make movies enjoyable when you know nothing about them.  I may check out Triangle based upon your review.
hobbitboy

Sir Rank-a-Lot
Urban Legend
***
« Reply #434 on: 09-25-2011 12:53 »


   One of my friends gets movies without reading reviews or knowing anything before seeing the movie.


So do I, as much as possible.

Don't hate me, Trinity.  I'm just the messenger.
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #435 on: 09-26-2011 18:13 »
« Last Edit on: 09-26-2011 18:19 »

Le Samourai

I can see this film being an influence of many lone-wolf type assassin films (Leon, Ghost Dog, The American etc.)
Alain Delon plays the stony-faced hitman in Paris in the 60s, where everything looks kind of drab, grey and laissez faire, especially the actors faces and attitudes towards everything.
Ok for an oldie, a bit on the boring side by todays standards.
C+

I also caught the majority of these films on TV:
Rounders
Matt Damon as a super poker ninja but his ok poker ninja friend (Ed Norton) gets him in shit with some gangster type poker guys (John Malkovich)
Some good performances, John Turturro is good too.
B

For a Few Dollars More
Clint and Van Cleef are cool bounty killers infiltrating a bandito gang who have hopes of robbing a bank, but doesn't this film mess with the timeline of the trilogy?
I've read TGTBaTU was a prequel, but Angel Eyes dies in that one, or at least gets shot a few times by Clint yet he plays nice with him in this one...
B+
winna

Avatar Czar
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #436 on: 09-26-2011 22:10 »

Network

Man grows old one day, left nothing but forlorn, his news shared a week from tuesday.  Man grows old, fired for friends, kept for share, shares emotion with a woman left empty.  Woman rides television for share, finds communists, exploits man, rides man for pleasure.  Gerald Ford is mad as hell; all is a script to play out; communism is false, a new evangel awaits.  Man then dies.  The End.
coldangel

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #437 on: 09-27-2011 02:19 »

Quote from: ~FazeShift~ link=topic=20758.msg1250056#msg1250056
I've read TGTBaTU was a prequel, but Angel Eyes dies in that one, or at least gets shot a few times by Clint yet he plays nice with him in this one...

Van Cleef is playing different characters in the films, just like Gian Maria Volonté does in this one and the first film (his character similarly dies in Fistful). You just have to dismiss this as an example of everybody in the old west looking the same.
Christopher

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #438 on: 09-27-2011 03:36 »

I just watched Never Let Me Go, I read the book which was 11/10 amazing, the movie was what you'd expect from a movie adapatation I guess.

7/10
JoshTheater

Space Pope
****
« Reply #439 on: 09-29-2011 11:12 »
« Last Edit on: 09-29-2011 11:15 »

Oh dear, I have a fair few movies I've watched and not reviewed, and of course I MUST review all of them. Shit...well, better get started.

First here's one I've been delaying the longest for no good reason:

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

In case anyone missed them and was interested (read: nobody), my reviews of all five original Planet of the Apes films:

I very much enjoyed this film. I didn't like everything about it, a few cliches here and there and some bits more silly than they needed to be. But in the end, it was well-acted, the CGI was convincing, it had lots of great references to the original...and that's all I was really looking for. Certainly not as good as the original, but still good enough that I wouldn't even mind a sequel, as long as it has an original premise.

B+

Reservoir Dogs

Not sure why I hadn't seen this yet, but I caught it recently and, unsurprisingly, very much enjoyed it. Tarantino is an excellent director, but I knew that already, so let's move on.

A-

Buried

Saw it was on Netflix and it had an interesting premise, so I gave it a chance. It's about an American truck driver in Iraq who wakes up in a coffin buried underground after his group is attacked by terrorists. It's pretty surprising how much story they get out of this movie even though the camera never leaves the coffin, not even once. The movie definitely has a strong political statement it's trying to make, and whether or not you agree with it, it gets its point across pretty effectively. The ending is a bit ridiculous as well.

B-

I have some other movies to review that are pretty...out there...so I'll save that for next time.
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