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Author Topic: Cynical Evaluations of Cinema: Movie Reviews  (Read 26635 times)
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Nutmeg1729

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #280 on: 08-02-2011 16:02 »

Captain America

Thoroughly enjoyed it. Would watch again. Had a total fangasm at the end of the credits. Bring on the Avengers Movie.

9/10
Melllvar

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #281 on: 08-04-2011 10:06 »

Countdown to Zero
Documentary about nukes and how easy it would be for le terrorists to get one.
Has interviews with Gorbachev and Carter, and tells us how Yeltsin saved the world!

It didn't mention Stanislav Petrov though, the Russian guy who also prevented an accidental retaliation strike against the US, which I was disappointed in.
C

I was gonna post this in "Documentaries", but.....

I watched this the other day, and it didn't also mention the event of 1983 when a training exercise almost triggered world war 3.

It seemed a bit too hubristic, glossing over details with broad strokes, going for the sensational rather than the detail, certainly playing into the hands of the people who love that terrorist paranoia, and certainly would have won a few members to the looney right-wing nut-job party....

Arm yourselves people!  They're everywhere!  And they've got the BOMB!
~FazeShift~

Moderator
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« Reply #282 on: 08-04-2011 12:50 »

Yeah, they've got the bomb, but there shouldn't be any anywhere, old hat!
homerjaysimpson

Space Pope
****
« Reply #283 on: 08-06-2011 04:46 »

The China Syndrome

Pretty lame, diabetes.
coldangel

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« Reply #284 on: 08-06-2011 09:12 »

That new cunting Planet of the Apes movie was surprisingly fucking good. I really fucking liked it.
coffeeBot

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #285 on: 08-06-2011 09:15 »

Wow coldy, really? I was pretty skeptical when I saw the trailer.
coldangel

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« Reply #286 on: 08-06-2011 09:24 »
« Last Edit on: 08-06-2011 09:26 by coldangel_1 »

Yeah, I wasn't sure either. Especially after that abortion of a remake attempt with Mark Warlberg a few years back. But it was really good. I mean, really... The apes were all CGI, but looked pretty decent while still being very emotive in the faces. They weren't the fully upright humanoid apes from the old movies, but rather contemporary apes.
This film is fairly loosely based on "Conquest of the Planet of the Apes" from the original film series, but is setting up a whole new origin.
So yeah, really good flick. I don't think I've ever cared quite so much for non-human CGI creatures.

9/10
~FazeShift~

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« Reply #287 on: 08-06-2011 23:52 »

Hesher
Ok so there's this quiet kid who we see shortly after his mother dies in a car accident, his father (the ugly Rainn Wilson, god I hate that guys stupid face!) is completely self absorbed in grief after the accident, when the kid runs into Hesher (Joseph Gordon Levitt), a tattooed, heavy metal, foul-mouthed misanthrope, and Nicole (Natalie Portman) and have some adventures and deal with grief and stuff.
JoGoLev is great as the anarchistic Hesher doing all sorts of crazy shit like setting a diving board on fire then cannonballing off of it, and interrupting a funeral while drunk and telling the story of how he lost his testicle from some shrapnel.
B-

Battle: Los Angeles
Very Michael Bayish, like Call of Duty meets... District 9 or something, full of tiresome USMC bravado, shaky cam and shouting, forgettable stuff. I couldn't even care about Harvey Dent in this, and does Michelle Rodriguez not feel fucking type cast as "tough female soldier" yet?!
Speaking of things in quotations, the military operation to drop a shitload of bombs on the aliens was codenamed "bomb drop"... just wow, good job guys.
D+

The Next Three Days
Russell Crowe and his wife Elizabeth Banks have a good life until she is hauled off to prison for murder, so Crowe plans to bust her out, seeking help from Liam Neeson.
It's kinda like the first season of Prison Break only shorter and Russell Crowe doesn't actually go into the prison, but it's still well done, the actual escape part is exciting.
It kind of slows down near the end and there's a weird bit where Elizabeth Banks dangles out of a car door while the car spins out of control, but still decent.
B+
coffeeBot

Liquid Emperor
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« Reply #288 on: 08-07-2011 07:26 »

Sounds interesting, coldy, I might have to rent it.
winna

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« Reply #289 on: 08-07-2011 14:51 »

X-Men: 1960's The Spy Movie

How do you have *** with Mystique? confused
homerjaysimpson

Space Pope
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« Reply #290 on: 08-07-2011 17:26 »

Love Object

Sex dolls make you go crazy in the head. It's a fact!
coldangel

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« Reply #291 on: 08-08-2011 01:02 »

How do you have *** with Mystique?

Um. Were you trying to say "sex"?
Why would you self-censor the word "sex"?
Anyway...
~FazeShift~

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« Reply #292 on: 08-08-2011 11:19 »

^ Gay!
She can shapeshift a vagina for you! And if not she has a perfectly good mouth.
Beanoz4

Liquid Emperor
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« Reply #293 on: 08-08-2011 13:19 »

Cars2: Not as good as I expected, it's the worst Pixar film to date in my opinion but the graphics were fantastic and it looked like they went to Japan, Italy and England and took out a camera and started filming, then animated a car over it...
It had some good laughs so I give this film a 7/10

RV- Runaway Vacation: Fantastic film packed with some comedy and some drama. 8/10
DannyJC13

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« Reply #294 on: 08-08-2011 13:23 »

I like how the crappier film gets a longer review. laff
winna

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« Reply #295 on: 08-08-2011 13:30 »

^ Gay!
She can shapeshift a vagina for you! And if not she has a perfectly good mouth.

I should have specified the position.  However, the whole shapeshifting aspect was a very important theme in the movie, especially the considerations that her blue form is her true form.  Assuming someone loves her for who she is then my question would eventually logically follow, eh?
Beanoz4

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #296 on: 08-08-2011 13:36 »

I like how the crappier film gets a longer review. laff

lol
hobbitboy

Sir Rank-a-Lot
Urban Legend
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« Reply #297 on: 08-08-2011 13:50 »

Also the crappier film's rating is underlined and in bold while the other one is unadorned.

Don't hate me, Trinity.  I'm just the messenger.
Bend-err

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« Reply #298 on: 08-08-2011 13:56 »

It's easier to rant about crappy movies than to praise good movies?
coldangel

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« Reply #299 on: 08-08-2011 14:23 »

I should have specified the position.  However, the whole shapeshifting aspect was a very important theme in the movie, especially the considerations that her blue form is her true form.  Assuming someone loves her for who she is then my question would eventually logically follow, eh?

I always just assumed her vagina was concealed by movable scales. Hoped, really.

She never had scales in the comics, by the way. Just blue skin. And she wore clothes while in her blue form.
winna

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« Reply #300 on: 08-08-2011 14:25 »

My question was clearly about reviewing the movie; not discussing specifically how she operates per se.
coldangel

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« Reply #301 on: 08-08-2011 14:29 »

I was more concerned about how they managed to fit a large passenger compartment and VOTL capability into an SR-71 airframe. I mean, as cool as that is... just, how!?
winna

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« Reply #302 on: 08-08-2011 16:05 »

Beast knows.  He designed it.
winna

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« Reply #303 on: 08-08-2011 16:16 »

Source Code:

For every eight minutes, 1 out of 100 Colter Stevens will be infinite.
Melllvar

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« Reply #304 on: 08-08-2011 18:54 »

Source Code:

For every eight minutes, 1 out of 100 Colter Stevens will be infinite.

I watched that recently, and I loved it.  Baked my noodle, but in a good way....  I need to go back and watch Moon.
David A

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #305 on: 08-08-2011 23:43 »

She never had scales in the comics, by the way. Just blue skin. And she wore clothes while in her blue form.

Nope.  She shapeshifts into a form that appears to be wearing clothing, but the "clothes" are just part of her body.  She's almost always naked.
winna

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« Reply #306 on: 08-09-2011 01:33 »

It was most certainly implied in the movie that I reviewed that although she can morph her skin into clothes, she also wears clothes.  For example, she very clearly put on an X-suit.
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« Reply #307 on: 08-10-2011 07:35 »

After seeing the Planet of the Apes movie I have deduced that their is a major lack of John Lithgow in our society.



Be it drag queen, murderer, or Dick Soloman, I love him.
lilkitten29

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #308 on: 08-10-2011 07:58 »

In the past week I went and saw three movies:

Horrible Bosses-It was better than I thought and it actually made me laugh out loud...I give it 3.5/5

Cowboys and Aliens-It was dumb. The aliens were so uninteresting and there was just a lot of lame parts in the movie. 2/5

The Change Up-This movie had me laughing at some parts and I though Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman played each other's personalities well..but there were a lot of odd moments in the movie that just made me think "wtf". 2.5/5
hobbitboy

Sir Rank-a-Lot
Urban Legend
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« Reply #309 on: 08-10-2011 13:17 »


   Be it drag queen, murderer, or Dick Soloman, I love him.


Don't forgetů

Don't hate me, Trinity.  I'm just the messenger.
JoshTheater

Space Pope
****
« Reply #310 on: 08-11-2011 19:15 »

Captain America: The First Avenger

What else can I say other than this was a boatload of fun...how does Marvel keep making such surprisingly good movies out of such completely ridiculous characters and premises? I liked the characters, the story was well done, the action was fun, and most importantly it embraced its own corniness. It certainly wasn't a perfect film (the first half was much better than the second) but it definitely entertained. I would say this was even more fun than Thor.

Also worth mentioning I suppose, I actually dished out the $4.50 to see this in 3D (I was using a movie pass for the main cost of the film so I figured why not). For a post-converted movie it was alright...nothing special. It seemed pretty unnecessary at times, and I really do hate how the glasses darken everything...I want to be able to see the bright colors, especially in a Captain America film! It wasn't terrible but I would recommend just seeing it in 2D.

B+
DannyJC13

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« Reply #311 on: 08-11-2011 19:17 »

How is Thor BTW Josh? I heard it was as good as the first Spider-Man.
JoshTheater

Space Pope
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« Reply #312 on: 08-11-2011 19:28 »

Thor was fun. Branagh did an amazing job making the world of Asgard somehow believable, the actors all do a great job, and the Avengers world-building is great. Worth seeing.

Also, believe it or not, while I don't hate the first Spider-Man, it's my least favorite of the three films. I think it's the action scenes, they are done so much better in the second and third. (Yes, I'm one of those weird people who liked the third. Didn't LOVE it, but certainly enjoyed it.)
DannyJC13

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« Reply #313 on: 08-11-2011 19:32 »

Don't worry, the third is my favourite. big grin
winna

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« Reply #314 on: 08-11-2011 19:44 »

The third movie was complete utter shit.
DannyJC13

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« Reply #315 on: 08-11-2011 19:47 »

The third movie was complete utter shit.

NO U
winna

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« Reply #316 on: 08-11-2011 19:49 »

NOU <----- If you replace each letter like a cipher, then this message clearly says, "Yes










































you are correct, the third installment of that film series was complete and utter shit."
homerjaysimpson

Space Pope
****
« Reply #317 on: 08-11-2011 19:54 »

Dolores Claiborne

Really, really emo movie. It made me want to cut myself and wear black the rest of he day. I think I like the book better so far.

B-
JoshTheater

Space Pope
****
« Reply #318 on: 08-11-2011 20:01 »
« Last Edit on: 08-11-2011 20:59 »

Since I've been hearing good things about Rise of the Planet of the Apes, I decided now was the perfect time to put the Planet of the Apes DVD boxset I got a while back to use. I'm having a Planet of the Apes marathon, and then I'm going to go see Rise in theaters. I also figured, what the hell, I'll review them as I watch them. I remember these films fondly from when I was younger (they may have introduced me to my love of sci-fi, when I think about it), so I want to see how they hold up. I watched the first one last night, so here we go:

Planet of the Apes

This film is every bit as brilliant and wonderful as I remembered. Does this film hold up today? Absolutely it does, and I recommend anybody who hasn't seen it yet to go watch it right now. It's one the greatest classic sci-fi films of all time, without a doubt.

I actually think it's fairly odd that Charlton Heston, who played Moses in The Ten Commandments and was head of the NRA, was in this film, because it's one of the most liberal anti-human moral stories of all time. The whole point of the film is that HUMANS SUCK. It's very anti-war and seems to support the theory of evolution pretty strongly. I wonder if he ever got any backlash for being in it...regardless, his performance in it is fantastic.

For a film from the 60s, this film LOOKS amazing, and the setpieces are great. The spaceship at the beginning, the ape village, the statue of liberty at the end...this film definitely benefited from a good budget and a creative special effects team. Yes, the apes themselves look really cheesy, but I can forgive that because they're very well acted.

The last moment of the film is considered one of the greatest movie twists of all time, as well as an iconic moment in film history. Watching it now, it's a bit hard to see why...by the time you get to the end it's really hard to not have already guessed that they must be on Earth, considering there are humans and that the apes speak English. Of course back when this film was made, things like humanoid species being from alien planets and the whole universe speaking English were somewhat taken for granted, so I can see how it was surprising for people at the time, and considering that it really is a good twist. It's still Heston's biggest moment of overacting in the whole film, though...YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HEEELLLLL!!!!!

A
Spacedal11

Space Pope
****
« Reply #319 on: 08-11-2011 20:50 »

The third movie was complete utter shit.

Truth.
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