I hate that which you love: movie reviews

[Reply #640 on:]

Snipe.

Just ignore unpleasantness, Josh.

[Reply #641 on:]

The 51st State

From start to finish this film is a great laugh, it never takes itself seriously. The characters aren't consciously making jokes, what they say is just inherently funny. Be warned though if you don't like swearing in your films this isn't the one for you as just about every line contains more than one obscenity.

The film stars Samuel L Jackson as an ultra-cool, kilt wearing drugs chemist wanting to make one high-profit deal, Robert Carlyle as a Liverpool gangster and Emily Mortimer as the hottest assassin I've seen in a film.

I won't post any spoilers but if you enjoy films with car chases, funny dialogue and over the top action involving guns, golf clubs and heavy duty laxatives then this is the film for you.

8/10

[Reply #642 on:]

Man, I love that wicked , wild ride of a film, Tweek!  It's an utra cool, weird movie.  And Sam's the man with the plan and in total control .  i don't think I've 'spoiled" anything... some may disagree.  Tell me if I did.  But I think I kept out of the "spoilers" division... bye...   

edit-  I mean... Sam Jackson in a green klit and lugging a golf bag all over Britain,,, Sam in a dress... DANG!.....He wears his kilt in the manliest of manner,,, so dignified,,, He's this generation's Cuck Heston...  A most beloved thespian... then and now!...

[Reply #643 on:]

The Grudge

I haven't yet seen the Japanese original but as this version was the one on TV I decided to give it a go. I'm pleased that I did as it was better than I expected of a remake, I suspect it was helped by the fact that it was remade by the original director.

While it isn't the best of stories it is certainly creepy, several scenes gave me goosebumps which is the main thing needed in a horror film.

The basic plot is that there is a house in Tokyo that has been haunted since a mother and child where murdered by the man of the family and anybody who visits the house is doomed to die fairly soon afterwards. The ghosts are certainly creepy but unfortunately we didn't have enough time to get to care about the main character, a nurse played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, which made me less concerned about her plight.

I was pleased to see that it didn't fall into modern horror cliché of adding excess gore and gratuitous nudity.[/b]

7/10

[Reply #644 on:]

...Yeah, so I'm doing that thing where I write a handful of stupid
One-Sentence Reviews!


Vantage Point

Who'd have thought that watching the same ten minutes of bland and formulaic movie over and over again from slightly different perspectives would turn out to be quite boring?


Straightheads

Scully from The X Files sodomizing a bloke with the barrel of a rifle isn't really as arousing in practice as it sounds in theory.


Stardust

Surprisingly fun for a family thing; it had me laughing my guts out a few times, due to the unhealed appendectomy wound in my abdomen.


Highlander: The Search for Vengeance

It's not Connor or Duncan, but this anime incarnation of the Highlander franchaise manages to capture the essence of the source material and throws some bare titties around for good measure.


28 Weeks Later

It's time to shoot and bury the zombie genre for another twenty years before the rot begins to really set in.


A Scanner Darkly

Somewhere between The Matrix and Fear & Loathing, and boring enough to have rendered the film in cutout cell-shading in a desperate bid to draw attention away from its blandness.


.45

It's a caper film; no, now it's a study of domestic abuse; no, now it's an erotic lesbian thriller; no, now it's a revenge-fantasy... oh no wait, it's just shit.


Death at a Funeral

A piss funny little flick that shows it pays to keep things simple; I haven't laughed so hard since my grandfather's funeral.

[Reply #645 on:]

Street Kings

A star studded cast, just too many to list.  Way better than Training Day. Best movie of 2008 that I've seen. I don't know what else to say, its just crazy. 

A+

[Reply #646 on:]

Semi-Pro

Pretty funny. Lots of familiar faces. Will Arnett is great, wish he had more lines. Similar to Anchor Man, but with slightly less absurd moments. The "Jive-Turkey" scene is great. Ends rather abruptly...

B

[Reply #647 on:]

The Fifth Element

It was on TV today, and it's one of those movies that is on my mental "Curious So Lets Watch It: List".

Me likey mucho. Chris Tucker in drag, check. Gary Oldman freaking me out due to weird awesomeness, check. Leeloo an awesome herione and reference to Futurama, check. Yippie Kay Aye Motherfucker, not...check...

I'll live without it.

A

(And before anyone corrects me, I know this came out before Futurama).

[Reply #648 on:]

You know that movie came out before Futurama, right?

Apparently, that's where the dog's name comes from though.

[Reply #649 on:]

Michael Clayton

Boring! If you like your conspiracies underdone and inconsequential in the scheme of things, look no further! And it didn't impress me with that "nominated for seven Academy Awards" label on the box! Anybody can be nominated for and presented with an Academy Award; I mean, Spacedal has three of them.

However, if the producers considered changing the title to Michael Carpton, then I'll consider regrading it:

F

  (I'm so mad at the world!)

[Reply #650 on:]

Finally! A review on here that I actually wholeheartedly agree with...Michael Clayton was crap.

[Reply #651 on:]

meet the spartans

i liked it, very funney even though its a crap rip off of 300.

B--

[Reply #652 on:]

I hate you more than anything.
...God I loathe the west.

[Reply #653 on:]

 

Originally posted by M0le:
 I mean, Spacedal has three of them.

Hmph. Lets see if I mention you in my next awards speech or introduce you to Jon Stewart.

[Reply #654 on:]

Juno
Finally!  A movie in which Ellen Page doesn't irritate the fuck out of me!  Hooray!
9/10

21
Movie about a math wizz who goes to Vegas to make money counting cards on Black Jack tables.  Pretty damn good.  Made me miss Vegas though.
8/10

[Reply #655 on:]

Horton Hears A Who
Quite good, it's one of those ones where the leads don't make it but the interesting side characters do, like that little cute yellow fuzzy creature cracked me up.

And that Kangaroo lady was just a total bitch, WTF is her problem, Horton should have just stepped on her and turned her into kangaroo pizza.

Also Will Arnett voices another vulture (Ice Age 2 being the first time) he picked what he knows I guess!
B+

Thanks for that review LayZ, didn't know anything about it but I might go and see it over here. 

[Reply #656 on:]

The grudge 2

i saw it at a sleepover the other night on sky, i didnt find it that scary althought my mates did...

C-

[Reply #657 on:]

Oh, I'd like to tack on an epilogue to my review of Bender's Big Score: the lip service to Al Gore was kind of embarassing to me as a person who isn't related to him. I guess he's easier to get than most former Vice Presidents and fathers of Futurama writers, but there were something like, 3 references to An Inconvenient Truth in there, not counting the DVD extra. I salute you, you brazen whore! 


NO, Al, them's NOT fighting words. 

The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007?)
Slightly better than Michael Clayton! The conspiracy was better this time (it involves lobbyist groups and Russian nationalists!) but really, why am I reviewing this and why are you reading this? You'd be lying if you said... anything at this point. 

F

[Reply #658 on:]

Be Kind Rewind

Had high hopes coming into this movie, for I've grown into an enthusiastic fan of Mr. Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine, The Science Of Sleep), and man, I was not disappointed.  A delicious blend of comedy, heart, and childlike imagination that I've come to expect in his work.  And for one who hates Jack Black as much as I do, I will give him credit in being quite decent in this outing.  Did a great Jackie Chan!.....the bastard. 

"I'm Bill Murray, you're everyone else."

[Reply #659 on:]

Being a big gondry fan, don't you think this film was lacking the artistic cinematic flair that he usually displays?

[Reply #660 on:]

...Yes, I would agree, but with hesitance.  Even though it lacked the almost orgasmic visuals of Eternal Sunshine (I had to check my pants on several occasions), and the out right spastic energy that was Science of Sleep, I still think Be Kind Rewind held its ground quite well against his back catalog.  And it managed to do something quite unique on its own; it made me laugh from start to finish.  Like it gave me permission not to take it too seriously, and just enjoy the oddness.

[Reply #661 on:]

Show spoiler

ONE-SENTENCE REVIEWS

Clerks 2

I never saw the first one, so I was totally lost in the intricate plot.


Moby Dick (1956)

Fairly true to the novel except that the sinking ship looked less like a small cheap model in my imagination when I read the book.


The Prestige

Surprisingly awesome; the inclusion of real-life object of conspiracy theories, Nikola Tesla, made the plot of this film even more interesting.


Next

If you'll pardon the clairvoyant pun, there's very little here we haven't already seen.


Hitman

This isn't a hit.


No Country for Old Men

The ingredients for critical acclaim in filmmaking are no music, no closure, and no point; because stupid people will think it's really deep.


Ratatouille

Pretty nifty, and it's nice to see genetic paternity testing find its way into a children's film - best they get used to the idea from an early age.


Death Proof

Could have been half as long, excising most of the scenes where the dumb bimbos sat around in bars just talking talking talking...................... .......

[Reply #662 on:]

Forgetting Sarah Marshall - I actually saw this last weekend, in an empty cinema which was nice, but I saw it again today because my mum wanted to be nice and take me out for dinner and a movie (then later tell me what she wanted for mother's day  ).
I found it more amusing on second viewing. My favourite part is when Peter (the guy wanting to forget) is singing a new song about needing to see a psychiatrist "I hate the psychiatrist! Go see one anyway!" 'cause it's fun to sing back and forth to yourself when you're angry.
A comment from my first viewing was that a lot of the actorbs seemed to have a really bad tan...stop going outside!
In summation; this film was un-boring enough to be able to sit through more than once.

[Reply #663 on:]

Just saw "Cool Hand Luke" for the first time and Wow, just wow, great performances by Paul Newman and George Kennedy, I especially love thhe music in this film, 9.5/10

[Reply #664 on:]

Atonement
The fact that it's a "romance" is irrelvent. It's a very good period movie well made all around. The 5 minute continuous shot is some of the best filmmaking I have ever seen. That scene alone bumps this movie up a point. It isn't sentimental or cheesey at all, although it is a little off-putting having the pirates of the carribean girl in an otherwise unknown cast. Anyway, it's obvious why it was nominated for best picture...
9.5/10

[Reply #665 on:]

Bullet and Brain
Having seen most of the new releases on my flight home I decided to check out this Korean action flick about two hitmen (called "Bullet" and "Brain" ) who are called in to protect a mobsters niece from a betraying gangster.
The plot and dialogue were pretty silly but there was a hot Korean assassin chick in it dress in black lycra with dual silenced pistols that I couldn't seem to resist.

C-

Also watched Finding Nemo, the best bit is that crab who does that little kung fu move at the seagulls before jumping in the water.

[Reply #666 on:]

Walk Hard

a few laughs, nothing that great, the funniest parts were Tim Meadows drug explanations C/C+

The Darjeeling Limited
not as impressive as the other Wes Anderson films I've seen, but it still had a decent story line and good performances B-

[Reply #667 on:]

The Bank Job
Great film, like British Inside Man, Jason Statham and his pals are given a simple bank job but things go pear shaped when they realise they were used to retrieve some incriminating pictures of a Royal family member from one of the safe deposit boxes, based on a true story.

A-

[Reply #668 on:]

The Duelists
This is an early Ridley Scott film (it premiered in 1977), set in Napoleonic France.  It deals with 2 French army officers (one decent, the other a Napoleonic zealot), who fight a duel of honor that ends in a tie.  Over the next 20 years, the zealot pursues & forces the decent officer to fight duel after duel, over a disagreement the reason for which he's forgotten.

This is my favorite Ridley Scott film.  It has no CGI or special effects, yet the film looks absolutely amazing; beautiful scenery & the cinematography is stunning.  The story is captivating, the acting (starring Keith Carradine & Harvey Keitel) superb, the ending climactic & poignant.  Overall, a truly exceptional film.

A

[Reply #669 on:]

The Visitation

A really funny movie about jebus! More or less a B-movie. C

[Reply #670 on:]

Iron Man

Sneak preview, bitches.  Super Hero movies are often a hit or miss, but this one landed with technological accuracy. Robert Downey Jr. was superb as Tony Stark.  His interaction with other characters was hilarious, especially with Terrance Howard. CGI was cool, nice action, and it was pretty funny. Was worth the free admission. 

A-

[Reply #671 on:]

Damn I wanted to be first! 
I'm going tonight.

DAMN!

[Reply #672 on:]

For some reason Australia got it before everyone? We got it on the first, which was 24 and half hours ago... Haven'ts seen it yet though... It does look incredibly awesome.

[Reply #673 on:]

I might look at seeing it on the weekend or on monday.

[Reply #674 on:]

I'm seeing it Saturday night at a drive-in

[Reply #675 on:]

21

Aye, I liked it. Rather slick and I guessed the ending, but I liked it. Asian guy and main guy=cute 

I liked it even more when I joined a casino after seeing it 

[Reply #676 on:]

Iron Man
Awesome, just as expected!   
Some badass action set pieces (in the village), Jeff Bridges was great and even Gweneth had some good lines. I loved the bit on the plane, extending stripper pole FTW.
Fantastic.

Show spoiler

To press conference: "The truth is... I am Iron Man!"   
Stan Lee as Hugh Hefner: I lol'd.
Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D. after the credits   !

A

[Reply #677 on:]

Iron Man

After the travisties of Spiderman 3 and X-men 3 I was starting to thing marvel had lost it's way with it's films but Iron man has made me one happy comic fan.

Robert Downey Jr is just perfect as Tony Stark and the rest of the cast hold up well. The effects are great and the sound track works well with the film.

A

If the next Hulk film and The Thor film also hold up then I will definitly be looking forward The Avengers film.

Show spoiler

And sorry Hoff, even from his brief appearance Mr Samuelle L makes a much better Nick Fury

[Reply #678 on:]

I hope they don't do what they did to Spiderman/X-Men with the next two Iron Mans, next one is already scheduled for April 2010. \o/

KEEP JON FAVREAU AS DIRECTOR GUYS!

[Reply #679 on:]

Well now Marvel is producing it's own films, hopefully it will mean less pandering to the audiences that big studio execs believe are important (Sam Raimi did not even want Venom in the film and it may have been better if he was not).

I do wonder what villians there would be in further Iron man movies, the biggist villian i can think of is the Manderine and he seems a little too cold war now.