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Author Topic: Films not to see before you die  (Read 1932 times)
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Gocad

Space Pope
****
« Reply #40 on: 10-03-2006 10:21 »
« Last Edit on: 10-03-2006 10:21 »

Almost any movie with Julia Roberts in it.

The exception would be Ocean's Eleven, since has actually little to do in this one. Which is good.

Same could be said about movies (aside from Se7en) with Gywneth Paltrow in it. A piece of blank paper has more sex appeal. Not to mention better acting skills.
BenderLicksButt

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #41 on: 10-03-2006 10:38 »
« Last Edit on: 10-04-2006 00:00 »

heres what we have so far on our "movies not to see before you die" list(you may not agree with any of this)

   
Quote
Originally posted by *everyone*:

Dude, Where's my car?
Boat Trip
and
Bio-dome!
Stuart Little (1 & 2)
Mr & Mrs Smith
Benchwarmers
The New Guy
White Chicks
War of the Worlds (2005 edition)
The Highlander and Jaws Sequals
Titanic
The Breakfast Club
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Shaun of the Dead
Pearl Harbor
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Edward Scissorhands
Any of the Lord of the Rings movies
Patch Adams
Ultraviolet
Hallow Man
Battlefield Earth
Pearl Harbour
Zardoz
The Fantastic 4
The Dukes of Hazards
Robots
Harry Potter
X-Men 3: The Last Stand
Revolver
The Ant Bully
Inspector Gadget
Cabin Fever
Birth
Black Christmas
Fight Club
Blair Witch
Sky captain, the world of tomorrow
ET, The Extra Terrestrial
Passions of the christ
Aliens vs Predator
Pinata Survival Island
She's the Man
Stepford Wives remake
Batman Forever
Bewitched
Harry Potter 3
The Incredibles
Just Married
Halloween Ressurection
The Majestic
Going Overboard
The Cat In the Hat
Zoom
Chucky movies
Brokeback Mountain
Boat Trip
Bio-dome!
Stuart Little (1 & 2)
Mr & Mrs Smith
Benchwarmers
The New Guy
White Chicks
War of the Worlds (2005 edition)
The Highlander and Jaws Sequals
Titanic
The Breakfast Club
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Shaun of the Dead
Pearl Harbor
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Edward Scissorhands
Any of the Lord of the Rings movies
Patch Adams
Ultraviolet
Hallow Man
Battlefield Earth
Pearl Harbour
Zardoz
The Fantastic 4
The Dukes of Hazards
Robots
Harry Potter
X-Men 3: The Last Stand
Revolver
The Ant Bully
Inspector Gadget
Cabin Fever
Birth
Black Christmas
Fight Club
Blair Witch
Sky captain, the world of tomorrow
ET, The Extra Terrestrial
Passions of the christ
Aliens vs Predator
Pinata Survival Island
She's the Man
Stepford Wives remake
Batman Forever
Bewitched
Harry Potter 3
The Incredibles
Just Married
Halloween Ressurection
The Majestic
Going Overboard
The Cat In the Hat
Zoom
Chucky movies
Brokeback Mountain
Hellboy
Swordfish
the Family Guy movie
King Kong (2006)
3rd and 4th Superman movies
Otis P Jivefunk

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #42 on: 10-03-2006 13:37 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Ballisticvole:
Most remakes aren't wort seeing.

I mostly agree, although the first exception which sprung to mind was King Kong...

Don't see...
Hellboy
Swordfish

...eer, I can't think of much because if I don't think I'll like it I won't give it a chance so I won't watch it. Consequentally I haven't seen many movies which I'd say to avoid...
Ballisticvole

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #43 on: 10-03-2006 17:17 »

King kong was an hour longer than it needed to be. It would have been enough for a giant gorilla to wrestle an alloaurus to the ground but instead it had to be hundreds of the bastards. There was also the overlong and pointless scene where the girl and kong stare into the sunset together. It was however a big improvment on the 70's version.
CrapBag

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #44 on: 10-03-2006 17:25 »
« Last Edit on: 10-03-2006 17:25 »

Micheal Moore movies.
Don't see them, he's just a fat asshole.
And The Family Guy Movie. Ah, what I would give for that 90 minutes of my life back...
KitKatBar-Fry

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #45 on: 10-03-2006 19:08 »

Hey! I liked the Family Guy movie! It was funny in my opinion...
Blackadder11

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #46 on: 10-03-2006 19:14 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by newhook_1:I have no idea how someone can call the Lord of the Rings trilogy movies to avoid. I know that it's a subjective opinion, but it smacks of someone subscribing to the idea that everything popular sucks. I call it, "A lot of people like these movies, so I'm going to tell everyone that they suck just to be difficult because I'm an elitist prick," syndrom. Offense intended, Blackaddler. Lots of it. With poop on top.

I have nothing against popular entertainment as a concept, and I think some of the finest action movies ever made were made for the masses (Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, The Terminator, The Killer), but I found the LOTR movies boring. I didn't care about a single character, the jokes were all horrible, Legolas skateboards, and Peter Jackson constantly tries to throw his heart wrenching sentimentality in our faces (as though we haven't come to see epic action film, but a thought provoking masterpiece from this great auteur). If I want a powerful drama, I'll watch Scorsese or Kubrick, not this stupid hack.

"Why, if it isn't my old arch nemesis, Satan!"
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #47 on: 10-04-2006 17:02 »

Wrong. A stupid hack couldn't have done the Charge of the Rohirrim. That blew my mind, and that scene alone was worth the wait for Return of The King.

Jackson did a damn good job with the source material which would have sucked if done scene for scene.
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #48 on: 10-04-2006 17:42 »

Any  disaster movie that sounds really silly. Like the one with the plane in space. And the killer bee movies.

Oh! And the 3rd and 4th Superman movie.
Blackadder11

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #49 on: 10-04-2006 18:11 »
« Last Edit on: 10-04-2006 18:11 »

   
Quote
Originally posted by ~FazeShift~:
Wrong. A stupid hack couldn't have done the Charge of the Rohirrim. That blew my mind, and that scene alone was worth the wait for Return of The King.

Jackson did a damn good job with the source material which would have sucked if done scene for scene.

Why does everyone feel threatened by my hatred of LOTR? I haven't attacked anyone else's choice in this thread.

Anyway, I, personally thought the charge of the Rohirrim (if you're talking about the ghost soldiers,  I don't recollect it too clearly) was lame. But who cares? Yes, a stupid hack can do action, as mindless sadistic thrill rides are the kinds of movies associated with hacks. William Friedkin (The French Connection, The Exorcist) didn't make movies of any real value other than their blatant display of brutality and their willingness to show things that weren't commonly shown in movies at that time. His films weren't smart and didn't have any insightful or original ideas to present, but they were very exciting, and that's why he was popular.

But Jackson's films aren't even exciting because they aspire to be about more than action, they aspire to be about characters and ideas; and more than anything else they aspire to be emotional rollercoasters. There's no point in the movies trying to be about characters, since nobody comes to any real epiphanies in the books (other than the trite "there are times when fighting is necessary".) and nobody changes, with exception to Faramir's inexplicable and quite stupid change in The Two Towers that wasn't in the book, and Frodo due to the exterior force of the ring, the effect of which dissipates once it's destroyed anyway. It can't be about ideas, simply because there aren't any noteworthy ones, unless you consider the hippie platitude "technology's so bad, and nature's so cool; we're the only animal that adapts our environment to us, instead of adapting to our envrionment!" (Who's ever heard of beavers? Or birds? Or ants? Surely such animals don't count for some reason!) to be interesting or especially intelligent. Which takes us to what all films are that try to be dramatic without having anything to be about: sentimental trash.

The action I won't argue with. I didn't care for it, but I certainly won't argue with it. What I'm arguing with (as I said in my previous post) is Peter Jackson's notion that his films are significant as anything other than a fantastical diversion from everyday life. He has nothing of substance with which to bring about any emotion other than visceral excitement or wonder, so he'll suddenly go into slow motion, play sad music, show sad faces, and we by association are supposed to be sad. It's bluntly manipulative, not at all entertaining, and a pretentious tactic.

"Why, if it isn't my old arch nemesis, Satan!"
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #50 on: 10-04-2006 19:30 »

Yes I'm sure you go about threatening lots of people by saying "I hate the LOTR movies!" but not me I'm afraid.

The Rohirrim were the guys on the horses.
Ok, you found them boring, that's fine, I knew the ending before I saw the films, but I still went to see them, and it wasn't boring for me, and I think not for lots of other people too.
And the films were about characters and ideas, as well as a lot of other stuff, because it was at least a decent adaption of the books, and that was about characters and ideas.

Nobody changes, except for Faramir AND Frodo?!
There are no ideas except the one you mentioned anyway?!  roll eyes
The hippe thing was a noteworthy idea in Tolkiens time (as well you know, hippies came later!  wink), I doubt Jackson would have been stupid enough to change the whole plot to make it about modern ideas.

"Peter Jackson's notion that his films are significant as anything other than a fantastical diversion from everyday life."
I don't know which bit of the film you got this from... did anyone else here leave the cinema and think, "That was MORE than just a film!"
I sure didn't.
Blackadder11

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #51 on: 10-04-2006 20:45 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by ~FazeShift~:
Yes I'm sure you go about threatening lots of people by saying "I hate the LOTR movies!" but not me I'm afraid.

The Rohirrim were the guys on the horses.
Ok, you found them boring, that's fine, I knew the ending before I saw the films, but I still went to see them, and it wasn't boring for me, and I think not for lots of other people too.
And the films were about characters and ideas, as well as a lot of other stuff, because it was at least a decent adaption of the books, and that was about characters and ideas.

Nobody changes, except for Faramir AND Frodo?!
There are no ideas except the one you mentioned anyway?!   roll eyes
The hippe thing was a noteworthy idea in Tolkiens time (as well you know, hippies came later!   wink), I doubt Jackson would have been stupid enough to change the whole plot to make it about modern ideas.

"Peter Jackson's notion that his films are significant as anything other than a fantastical diversion from everyday life."
I don't know which bit of the film you got this from... did anyone else here leave the cinema and think, "That was MORE than just a film!"
I sure didn't.

My choice of LOTR as bad films must be threatening to some degree or people wouldn't keep attacking it, is my point.

Anyway, this is kind of senseless, isn't it? I've already defended my position in an articulate fashion, I see no reason to do it again, and I realize it's a popular movie lots of people loved. I hated it, that's why I posted it, my opinion isn't changing yours, yours isn't changing mine, so what's the point in this banter? Subjective things are kind of dumb to argue about.
newhook_1

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #52 on: 10-04-2006 23:01 »
« Last Edit on: 10-04-2006 23:01 »

Aragorn goes from a ranger that sleeps in the mud to a noble king. Sam gradually goes from a frightend little hobbit to a hero. 2 sworn enemies, Legolas and Gimli, become good friends. Gollum almost beats his addiction to the ring, but fails because of his weaknesses. This is all character development.

Anyway, in my view the problem isn't the fact that you personally don't like the movies. Some of my best friends don't like LOTR. If it's not your thing I have no beef with that, but the films are based on a novel that entire university classes are based around, and has sold more copies than any other book in the 1900s except for the bible, despite the notable handicap of not being released until halfway through century, a film version was once deemed "impossible" by Stanley Kubrick himself, and the final film of the trilogy won 11 oscars. The point I'm getting at is the fact that even if you don't personally like the movies, a lot of people obviously see something special here, so I really think that alone makes them worth checking out at least once. You didn't merely classify them as films that you don't like, you essentially said that people shouldn't see them at all.

And as for the shots at the book, if you really want to get into some of the academic dicussions I've had about LOTR in 3rd year university english classes feel free to bump the LOTR thread.
Hell´sBender

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #53 on: 10-05-2006 14:52 »

These movies should added to the worst movies:

Date Movie
Son Of The Mask
The Fog
The Descent
The Omen (2006 version)
Farnsworth38

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #54 on: 10-05-2006 15:24 »

Damnation Alley: Despite a fantastic piece of tech - the Landmaster all-terrain vehicle - this was a total failure with dire special effects and, fortunately, it has vanished without a trace.
KitKatBar-Fry

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #55 on: 10-05-2006 16:48 »

The Wild. I saw it on my sister's birthday, and believe me, you don't wanna have any connections with it. A terrible piece with animal flatulence and a plot so similar to Finding Nemo it's not funny. It seems Disney has started to go a bit downhill lately...
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #56 on: 10-05-2006 19:56 »

Signs is one of the worst sci-fi(if you can call it sci-fi) movies ever.
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #57 on: 10-05-2006 20:18 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Blackadder11:
Subjective things are kind of dumb to argue about.

Then why bother with the bashing which you must have known was going to kick off an argument? Unless you were just looking for an excuse to call people dumb, which would make all your posts in this thread unashamed flames.

If it's "dumb" to argue about it, then surely the guy who started the argument is "dumber" than most?

Either you can handle the ramifications of your own statements and are prepared to accpet the critiques of others, or you should not be posting them. Take responsibility.
tyraniak

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #58 on: 10-06-2006 00:47 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by MrBlonde:
Signs is one of the worst sci-fi(if you can call it sci-fi) movies ever.

Yeah, that movie was ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag
badpinkmummy

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #59 on: 10-06-2006 14:06 »

Men in white
Cop and a half
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #60 on: 10-07-2006 20:48 »

Men in White? Is that like a straight to dvd sequel to Men In Black?
DrZoidberg112

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #61 on: 10-08-2006 21:07 »

The Sound Of Music.
Bye Bye Birdie.
Any other musicals!
Blackadder11

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #62 on: 10-08-2006 21:41 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by DrZoidberg112:
The Sound Of Music.
Bye Bye Birdie.
Any other musicals!

Muscials can be pretty awesome if they're done right. Examples:

The Blues Brothers
South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
Canibal! the Musical
Monty Python's the Meaning of Life
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #63 on: 10-10-2006 14:50 »
« Last Edit on: 10-13-2006 00:00 »

w00t Monty Python movies are the funniest things caught on film!


Other than that monkey trying to pick his nose and knocking himself of the tree branch.That was 20 years ahead of it's time!  laff
KitKatBar-Fry

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #64 on: 10-10-2006 17:50 »

Yah! Did anyone menttion Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Those guys have got to be about the funniest things in tights!
Gopher

Fallback Guy
Space Pope
****
« Reply #65 on: 10-28-2006 15:16 »
« Last Edit on: 10-28-2006 15:16 »

Ok, it's normally a good movie but stay the hell away from TNT's commercial-edited version of the Matrix.

Dear lord, I couldn't believe some of the things they cut. I could go on for 10,000 words but I'll limit myself to 2 examples.

first: When Smith is giving the treatment to Morpheus, they cut out several bits, causing  the dialog to make no sense whatsoever. Here's an example, I've struck-through what they cut out of this line.
 
Quote
Agent Smith
Have you ever stood and stared at it, marveled at it's beauty, it's genius? Billions of people just living out their lives, oblivious. Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world. Where none suffered. Where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed that we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world. But I believe that as a species, human beings define their reality through misery and suffering. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from. Which is why the Matrix was redesigned to this, the peak of your civilization. I say your civilization because as soon as we started thinking for you it really became our civilization which is of course what this is all about. Evolution, Morpheus, evolution. Like the dinosaur. Look out that window. You had your time. The future is our world, Morpheus. The future is our time.

Yes, just that. It couldn't have shaved more than a second off. I replayed it three times to convince myself that my ears weren't playing tricks on me.

The other thing is much more simple: They cut out the f!@#ing spoon! The editor who thought  the two girls levitating blocks was more important to the story than the bit with the spoon should be sacked, and never allowed to touch film again for the rest of his life.
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #66 on: 10-28-2006 15:53 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by MrBlonde:
Men in White? Is that like a straight to dvd sequel to Men In Black?
More of a a cheap parody spoof of it. With some really rarely funny bits too. Made by National Lampoon.
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #67 on: 10-29-2006 18:51 »

Spice World. 'Nuff said.
futurefreak

salutatory committee member
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #68 on: 11-01-2006 04:22 »

The Perfect Score

Sense & Sensibility

Not Another Teen Movie
btyrie

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #69 on: 11-01-2006 05:36 »

Titanic (1997) puke
Pearl Harbour (2001)  puke  puke
Carnosaur 1
King Kong (2005)
The Core (the ultimate crapfest)

 
Quote
Originally posted by Venus:
I'd rather jab a spork into my eye then rewatch Fight Club and Blair Witch

I'll second that. 

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.---Albert Einstien
chay´s head

Space Pope
****
« Reply #70 on: 11-01-2006 05:44 »

Fight Club? Are you serious? it's better the second viewing! You pic up all these cool things!
airbagfailure

Space Pope
****
« Reply #71 on: 11-01-2006 06:29 »

yeah what the?
fight club was freaking awesome..

i hate anything with jennifer lopez in it... especially the wedding planner... fuckin HOMEWRECKER!.... (i didn't see the film, i didn't need to, the previews were enough)
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #72 on: 11-01-2006 08:05 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by btyrie:
The Core (the ultimate crapfest)

Personally, I like it because it's a bag of shite. It's a very funny film when you're drujnk off your ass, and can't possibly take anything seriously. So. Very. Funny.

It's almost as if they meant for it to be a complete pile of wank, so that it would end up being embraced for comedy value.
tyraniak

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #73 on: 11-01-2006 12:26 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by btyrie:
Titanic (1997)  puke
Pearl Harbour (2001)   puke   puke
Carnosaur 1
King Kong (2005)
The Core (the ultimate crapfest)


I'll agree with the list except for Carnosaur, of course it's a BAD movie, but it's way more enjoyable than most films mentioned in this thread

SonicPanther

Professor
*
« Reply #74 on: 11-01-2006 19:37 »
« Last Edit on: 11-01-2006 19:37 »

Doogle.

My mom dragged me to see it in Febrary because she tought it looked cute, or something. Holy crap. Without a doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen. It looked ugly (that's a dog? I thought it was a walking carpet), the voices were terrible, and... Now usually I don't say this, but what drugs were they on when they made this!? I can't explain it. It's just so stupid and far-fetched. Then again, it's based on a segment that used to be on Sesame Street.

...Why did they make this movie, again?
Prowla RX7

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #75 on: 11-02-2006 13:46 »

RV
x-number1fan-x

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #76 on: 11-03-2006 11:18 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Blackadder11:
 Muscials can be pretty awesome if they're done right. Examples:

The Blues Brothers
South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
Canibal! the Musical
Monty Python's the Meaning of Life


i love musicals!, think of Mulin Rouge, Grease, Annie(well kinda)


-Claire
HookerBot 5000

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #77 on: 11-03-2006 12:37 »

Went to see Thoroughly Modern Millie at my local theatre. I would say that on stage its much better, although Chicago was great on screen.
homerjaysimpson

Space Pope
****
« Reply #78 on: 11-03-2006 15:12 »

Chaseing sleep, it trys to be an arty farty film like Butterfly Effect and others but fails painfuly.
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #79 on: 11-03-2006 23:19 »

Butterfly Effect was not "arty farty" for gods sake.  roll eyes
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