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Author Topic: Cliches  (Read 1460 times)
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Mitsui

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #80 on: 01-19-2002 06:57 »
« Last Edit on: 01-19-2002 06:57 »

If someone is in the dark, and they shine a torch over something, let's say bugs (IJ & the Temple of Doom), then as soon as the light hits them thats when they start making a noise.

*Crazy attention grabbing TOTP dance by someone who never danced before, but now seems to someow be amazing at it.
SpacemanSpiff

Space Pope
****
« Reply #81 on: 01-19-2002 07:45 »

star trek cliches:

the crew of the series ship can fix everything within 24 hours, even things that other crews can't repair at all or it will take them weeks.

star trek physics do only apply to the enemies. (hello voyager there)

will riker will sleep with every hot woman in the episode, although he's a comlete idiot.

if you fly through the enemies space, lower your shields untill you see an enemy. this even applies to the romulan zone, even if all romulan ships have cloaking device and won't decloak untill they open fire.

when the ship gets hit by a torpedoe, every not so important person on the bridge will imediatly fly at least 2 m through the air or get shocked by an exploding console and die after that. after 2 torpedoes (with shields up or not) no console will work properly unless there are only 10 minutes left. furthermore steam will come from several tubes and metallic plates will fall from the ceiling.

normal cliches:

the more enemies there are, the lower is the chance of actually hitting the hero.
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #82 on: 01-19-2002 13:25 »

And yet more ST cliches:

If there is an emergency anywhere in the universe, the Enterprise is the ONLY ship that can get there in time.

No kid in ST will live a normal childhood. Something nasty will happen sooner or later.

Weapons who can blow up even the biggest ships in one hit, will barely scratch the Enterprise/V'ger/Defiant.

The Prime Directive will never make a command decision easier, but if it's too hard the captain can just disregard it.


More generic:

The "oldest trick in the book" will always work.

No starshipcrew will ever use seat belts.
Tweek

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #83 on: 01-19-2002 13:30 »

In the original series anybody we haven't seen before who is wearing a red shirt is dead meat.

All problems can be solved by modifying some piece of equipment, they never have the right kit to begin with though.

Wesley Crusher sucks donkey balls, not really a cliche, just a fact  evil laugh
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #84 on: 01-20-2002 05:18 »
« Last Edit on: 01-20-2002 05:18 »

Star Wars Cliche:More Imperials Die than The Rebel despite the Imperials who wear Body Armour and Cary huge Blasters and are ruthless killers and yet the Rebels an Bunch Of Yokels that can BARELY Hold an Blaster only lose 10 or 20 men while almost the hole Imperial Force DIES...
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #85 on: 01-22-2002 13:35 »

The first person in a dogfight who says a sentence containing the word "too," such as "There's too many of them," or "They're coming in too fast," will always be the first to get fragged.  The only known exception to this rule is Luke Syywalker while fending off TIEs in the Death Star escape.
meisterPOOP

Professor
*
« Reply #86 on: 01-22-2002 14:34 »

When The Doctor Says; "Take Two Asprin And Call Me In The Morning He Really Means It."

What The Doctor Really Wants To Say Is: "I've Got Three Words For You 'NINE-ONE-ONE'".
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #87 on: 01-22-2002 14:57 »
« Last Edit on: 01-22-2002 14:57 »

Another Star Wars Cliche : Despite the fact the Hero is surrounded with Heavly armed stormtroopers they blast they way out with 5 pounds worth of Metel..Pfffftt...
DrThunder88

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #88 on: 01-24-2002 16:48 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Tweek:
In the original series anybody we haven't seen before who is wearing a red shirt is dead meat.

Kirk: Alright, men.  This is a dangerous mission, and it's likely one of us will be killed.  The landing party will consist of myself, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, and Ensign Ricky.
Ricky: Aw crap.
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #89 on: 01-25-2002 01:14 »

LOL..I loved that one
Kyle

Crustacean
*
« Reply #90 on: 01-25-2002 19:26 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by VelourFog:
The girl in Hercules was "Meg." 

short for Megara.

Kyle

Crustacean
*
« Reply #91 on: 01-25-2002 20:00 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Nurdbot:
  Don't Forget Cyan,Teal,and Maroon.... Also

*The Hero is always an Wussy Loser
*The Cutest Girl Gets the Hero
*There is an Cute Animal Side kick
*The Villans act Like Morons all the time (Team Rocket for Example)
*Hair Styles MUST be made to Cheat Gravity
*Hero gets an Nosebleed when He's see's any of the Girls naked


*Even if the hero or heroes have seen the villian or villians 100 times before, they never suspect them when they're in disguise, even if the disguise is a pair of glasses and a suit, and even if one of the villians has a feature that really stands out from anyone else on the show, like really long red hair.
*For some reason, most snacks are triangular and have a small black rectangular thing on them.
*For some reason, heroes never make traps to catch the villians, yet the villians make lots of traps (many of them are the old pit-fall trap). The heroes always have a confrontation with the villians in which they both talk a lot, and the heroes have a good weapon and the villains have either a big complex weapon with a small weak point, or they have just a wimpy weapon, and they bruise easily.
*For some reason, during some episodes, you actually feel sorry for the villians and start realizing the heroes are confronting the villians for something they didn't really do. A good example of this occurs in the Pokemon episode "The Trouble with Snubbull".
*All big cities have a giant, Eiffel Tower-like radio antenna.
*When superheroes and the like use one of their powers, they always have a long dumb chant they say that doesn't really help at all, and would in real life give the enemy time to kick their ass.
*When people freak out, they use about 4 different images of them flailing their arms and legs wildly which are repeated over and over and sometimes flicker faster than usual. During this time, they talk really fast and say about 3 sentences and 8 exclamatory phrases.

  big grin
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #92 on: 01-25-2002 20:11 »

Even more ST cliches:

Thanks to the Invader-Friendly Operating System used by Federation starship, all enemies who succeeds in capturing a starship can operate it, without prior knowledge.

If you travel back in time you have a 99% chance of ending up in San Francisco.

If engaged in a ship-to-ship fight, the standard procedure is:
take a hit
ask for status report
take a hit
ask for scan of enemy
take a hit
ask for suggestions from bridge crew
take a hit
lock weapons on enemy
take a hit
give enemy a warning
take a hit
fire weapons
take a hit
ask for scan of enemy
take a hit
ask for status report
take a hit
etc.....

Don't confuse not caring with not knowing!
MuscaDomestica

Professor
*
« Reply #93 on: 01-26-2002 06:57 »

Here is a great website, tips for an evil overlord http://minievil.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

More Cliches
- In Space, physics NEVER apply
- The evil Alien monster always can eat people
- If it is "so crazy it just might work" then it will, although not in the way intended.
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #94 on: 01-26-2002 11:17 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by MuscaDomestica:
Here is a great website, tips for an evil overlord

*Ahem*

I have a thousand years of power.
"NOOOOO HE WAS MY BROTHER!" and then got tired and slept.


"He has the special talent, though, of being able to help people and make them feel utterly stupid all at the same time. ... In short, he's a great moderator, but a terrible human being."
-SlackJawedMoron
MuscaDomestica

Professor
*
« Reply #95 on: 01-27-2002 10:11 »

Sorry, didn't see that thread, I just got here!
Smurfbabe

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #96 on: 09-21-2004 03:26 »

Whenever ANYONE in a movie realises someone has been watching them and asks "how long have you been standing there" the reply is always WITHOUT FAIL  "long enough."
winna

Avatar Czar
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #97 on: 09-21-2004 03:38 »

I hear that phrase a lot on pornos...
M0le

Space Pope
****
« Reply #98 on: 09-21-2004 05:36 »

#1 Hollywood Rule:
- Anything that is a million-to-one chance will always work, without fail.
Ttomalss
Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #99 on: 09-21-2004 09:12 »

Actually, the having-good-teeth-in-medieval-films might be accurate.  After all, those were the days before refined sugar, and the sweeteners in Europe at the time weren't as powerful, and were generally only consumed by the wealthy.  So the teeth of the peasants were probably well-worn (tougher vegetables), but in good shape.

Back to the discussion:

The Inverse Ninja Rule:  In a martial arts film, the skill level of an enemy ninja attacking the hero is inversely related to the number of ninjas attacking said hero.

Oh yes, and in a disaster movie, New York City, Washington DC, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and maybe London, Paris or Rome will get trashed, but Berlin, Moscow, and Beijing are always just fine.
Jicannon

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #100 on: 09-21-2004 09:47 »

In sequals, the hero is faced with a tougher opponet or challenge than in the previous movie. Couldn't something easier have come up? Challenges aren't always harder than the last.  tongue
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #101 on: 09-24-2004 10:17 »

If you are a character in a:

  • Airplane/dogfight movie: Never say "They're coming in too fast" or "There's too many of them." *
  • War movie: Never talk about the girl you're going to marry as soon as you get back home.
  • Police movie: Never mention your boat in the marina and how close retirement is.

Death is usually instantaneous.

*Only known exception: Luke Skywalker, A New Hope
SlackJawedMoron

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #102 on: 09-25-2004 14:01 »

In a rich man's home, every draw contains a pistol.
TheLampIncident

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #103 on: 09-25-2004 14:31 »

Every softcore porno has a plot that involves being a detective at a murder scene.

Every movie these days seems to be trying too hard to embrace cultural diversity by failing to overlook the fact that not everyone is a stereotype.

If there's a guy in a suit holding a gun in a movie, there's a pretty good chance John Travolta's in the movie.
Tweek

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #104 on: 09-25-2004 14:55 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by TheLampIncident:
Every softcore porno has a plot that involves being a detective at a murder scene.

Unless it is British in which case it is a comedy about an odd-job man  tongue

Evil Abe

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #105 on: 09-25-2004 23:58 »

Classic ST Cliches

1) McCoy can cure any illness
2) Scotty can repair anything
3) Spock proves that even being half Vulcan, that Vulcans are indestructable
4) Kirk can do what every he wants with no  repercussions from Star Fleet Command. 

General
Sidekicks with no real skills other than comic relief are indestructable and can save the hero. 
ghoulishmoose

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #106 on: 09-26-2004 14:41 »

Any English speaking person in an American made or based film, will have a posh or cockney accent. Often impersonated very badly...
Evil Abe

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #107 on: 09-26-2004 21:00 »

1) The bad guy always seems to have ready access to nuclear weapons or another type of doom day device.

2) Super villains only seem to come to a city after a super hero appears never the other way around. 

3) Super villains always seem to be able to get out of jail and form a new gang of henchmen without being detected.   
PCC Fred

Space Pope
****
« Reply #108 on: 09-26-2004 21:17 »

TNG cliche:

One certain way to die is to be related to Data, no matter how tenuously.  Over the years Dr. Soong, Ira Graves, Lal, Lore, the human Dr. Tainer, Tasha Yar, the Borg Queen and ulimately Data himself have all copped it.

I'm willing to put real money on Brent Spiner's guest character on Enterprise meeting a sticky end.
newhook_1

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #109 on: 09-26-2004 21:25 »

Any jedi that appears on screen for more than five minutes in a Star Wars movie can only ever be killed by another jedi or a sith.
Logan Fils

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #110 on: 09-26-2004 22:10 »
« Last Edit on: 04-05-2005 00:00 »

/
canned eggs

Space Pope
****
« Reply #111 on: 09-26-2004 22:44 »
« Last Edit on: 09-26-2004 22:44 »

In a kung fu movie, when the good guy takes his shirt off, he wins.

Also, in a kung fu movie, if a guy is a drunk or a cripple, then he's a kung fu master.  Except for Mr. Rocking.
zomit

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #112 on: 09-27-2004 06:40 »

Advertisement cliches:

  • If you ever have heartburn, then someone else that's near you will always have the cure.
  • If you ever spill something, someone will always have something to clean it up.
  • When mentioning a product, it is always absolutely necessary to say the full name of it and the company that made it.
Nurdbot

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #113 on: 09-27-2004 07:58 »

When heros are engulfed by a big ball of flame, they seem to look pretty good when they come out of it including there clothing.

Also, heros make it out of any situation with 1 or a few seconds to spare.
~FazeShift~

Moderator
DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #114 on: 09-27-2004 10:41 »

Zomit: Don't forget, men rarely appear in chocolate commercials, and if they do they're leaving it around for women to eat!

Also: In order to sell womens sanitary products, a woman (or two) have to play a practical joke on a man and laugh at him.

Also also: Why make several European yoghurt commercials when you can make one and dub it terribly?
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