Movie Review Thread: The Remake

[Reply #640 on:]

Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God

To say that it was better than the first one would be damning this movie with faint praise.  This is what a D&D movie should be like.

[Reply #641 on:]

Do you propose to tell me that not only is a Sci-Fi Channel Orignal Picture good, but one that is also a sequel to what may have been the shittiest fantasy movie ever is still good?

This I must see.  I assume they'll be repeating it until January?

[Reply #642 on:]

Well, they clearly didn't have a huge budget, but they made good use of what they had to work with.  And it's only a sequel in very loose terms; this one could stand on its own just fine even if the first one hadn't been made.

The next showing is Thursday night at nine.

[Reply #643 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nerd-o-rama:
the shittiest fantasy movie ever

Better

[Reply #644 on:]

The Amityville Horror (2005)

It was my friend who said we should rent it. And I thought, cool ok. I hadn't heard anything about it but I figured it would be like every movie made in the 21st century, they all suck. And the characters look constipated.

But we didn't watch it that night cause my friend freaked out, which I can't help but laugh about now. The next day one of our family friends was over kind of babysitting us and he decided to watch it. We come in about an hour into it. I laughed my ass off. Sure there were parts that made me jump, but that's because the music was the only thing that was scary. The acting was bad, the plot was way farfetched from the actual story, and you know, I just didn't like it.

D+

[Reply #645 on:]

 

Originally posted by Spacedal11
but I figured it would be like every movie made in the 21st century, they all suck.

Please go see Serenity.  I'm not posting this to get into an argument with you, I just want to Companion that movie out as much as possible.  Can I use "Companion" as a verb?

[Reply #646 on:]

I reckon you just gorram did.

[Reply #647 on:]

The Brothers Grimm

First of all, the sets were really good looking.

But I'm still wondering if that had anything to do with those fairy tales the real Brothers Grimm wrote down. 

Seriously, it's a nice take on all those fairy tales, but still the story seemed a bit underdeveloped...

But it wasn't as bad as some reviews I had read before suggested.

B-

[Reply #648 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nerd-o-rama:
 

Originally posted by Spacedal11
but I figured it would be like every movie made in the 21st century, they all suck.

Please go see Serenity.  I'm not posting this to get into an argument with you, I just want to Companion that movie out as much as possible.  Can I use "Companion" as a verb?

Wait hold on? Compainion? So forgive me if I don't understand correctly, but you're saying go see Serenity because...well just because? That's not so much as an arguement but just saying you must hve really liked that movie.

[Reply #649 on:]

Spongebob Squarepants Movie
Hahaha, brilliant.

A

[Reply #650 on:]

Spacedal: it's a joke from the series that Serenity is based on.  If i had wanted to be less confusing, I would have said "I want to whore that movie out as much as possible."  I was clarifying that I wasn't arguing with you because I have a tendency to put my foot in my mouth in any discussion I have with you.

[Reply #651 on:]

Heh-heh, yeah you do. I can tell by that shoe coming out your ass that you're trying to make up for it. That's cool. 

[Reply #652 on:]

Domino
Almost changed my mind about seeing it 'cause the reviews on imdb are bad, but I loved it.
Keira Knightley's boobies!
Lucy Liu!
Brian Austin Green and Ian Ziering! I mean...Keira Knightley's boobies!

Also, Christopher Walken and Mickey Rourke. <3

Yeah, that's basically just a list of names and body parts and not a review. Sue me.   

B+

[Reply #653 on:]

I liked the review.

Now I may go see the movie, you sir, have changed my life! 
In a very small insignificant way.

[Reply #654 on:]

Keira Knightley has boobies now?

[Reply #655 on:]

It would make Gigli watchable! 
Well, almost.

[Reply #656 on:]

How many times does she show her boobies, Jer?

[Reply #657 on:]

Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-rabbit

This was the most fun movie I have seen in a long time.

The story, as you might guess, is focused on everyone's favorite claymated inventor and his equally-claymated dog who, in this outing, have started a venture in the field of humane pest removal.  Their company, fittingly enough, is called Anti-Pesto (if you don't dig on that kind of clever, pun-based humor, it's probably time to ignore this movie).  Anyway, something goes horribly wrong before the annual Tottington Big Vegetable Contest, and Tottingtinos are waking up to find their big vegetables eaten by a big creature in a big way.  Chaos ensues.  A plan is formulated and put into action.  Then everything is cool...until someone dies*.

While the claymation might lead a lesser person to believe this movie is kids' fare (and it is), it has distinctly mature entertainment value.  I'll admit that much of the time I was laughing at the ridiculous images than the film itself, but there was more than once I found subtle background gags and outright, outlandish, Futurama-style gags.

The voice acting was good.  It was cartoony but appropriate given the audience.  Other than Peter Sallis (the usual voice of Wallace), the "superstar" cast included Helena Bonham Carter and Ralph Fiennes.  The animation reflected the cartoonish nature of the voices, but the work on Gromit was especially good.  Gromit's lack of dialog didn't stop him from presenting a full range of emotions, most notably a hilarious combination of disgust and exasperation.

The animation is as good as sculpted-putty photographed 30-or-so times for each second can be.  In fact some of the more action-oriented shots are downright awesome.  The scenery is great, greater than I imagined.  With some of the earlier W&G shorts, there was definately a feel of the film being photographed in a shoebox.  That could also be due to the format of the presentation.  I don't doubt the big screen helps aleviate the claustrophobia more than a little.  Sure, fingerprints are sometimes visible in the characters' skins, but it's all part of the magic.  If they wanted super-smooth models, I don't doubt they could've rendered the film entirely with CGI.

At any rate, I'm no fan of actual horror movies, so this kind of light-hearted movie with a childishly "scary" element is a great addition to the Halloween movie arsenal.

8/8 stars

* Just kidding**.
** Or am I?

[Reply #658 on:]

Wow, so much interest in Keira Knightley's boobs. You'd think she was Ninaka or something.  Just once during a sex scene in the desert. Not too explicit, though. Her deleted sex scene from "The Jacket" probably shows more. Keep it in your pants. Also, she punches Brian Austin Green in the nose. That's pretty cool.

[Reply #659 on:]

Elizabethtown

An Orlando Bloom movie thats good?! Then again, it is a Cameron Crowe film.

9.8/10

[Reply #660 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nasty Pasty:
Elizabethtown

No Keira Knightley boobies.

0/10

The original review!

[Reply #661 on:]

I totaly agree with DrThunder88 about W. and G. I went to see it twice just because there are so many little sight gags that can pass by unnoticed, like the "pansy spray". I've been a wallace and Gromit fan for years so it realy made my day when the movie was announced. By the way, who else thinks that Disney burned down the aardman storage building in a fit of jelousy?

[Reply #662 on:]

I forgot to mention that while the credits were rolling on the short "The Madagascar Penguins in 'A Christmas Caper'," I could have sworn I saw John Dimaggio's name in there, but now I can't find any evidence to prove it.

That short was pretty good too.

[Reply #663 on:]

Yeah, I think he played one of the penguins...the crazy one, I think. I also noticed it when I saw Wallace and Gromit.

[Reply #664 on:]

Those penguins got their own short?
Awesome!

[Reply #665 on:]

 

Originally posted by M0le:
 

Originally posted by Nasty Pasty:
Elizabethtown

No Keira Knightley boobies.

0/10

The original review!

she's not even in that movie! It's Kirsten Dunst!

[Reply #666 on:]

VF, it was a joke. Wake up honey.

I come barring movie grades from Entertainment Weekly, the following:


Dreamer:

C+
Doom:C+
The Fog:D-
Domino:D
Wallace and Gromit: the Curse of the Were-Rabit:A
Elizabethtown:C+[/list]

Some of these were from last week. As you can see, there weren't many favorites. I however, want to see Elizabethtown and Dreamer.

[Reply #667 on:]

Hey, the woman weighs 48 pounds. She's allowed to miss a joke.

[Reply #668 on:]

Sorry about the double post.

Ignore this one.

[Reply #669 on:]

 

Originally posted by kiffan:
 By the way, who else thinks that Disney burned down the aardman storage building in a fit of jelousy?

I agree!
I hate Disney.
Let's blame them anyway.
I need to go plant some evidence...

[Reply #670 on:]

VF, you were in my dream. You starred in some Lord of the Rings/elf type of crap with Orlando Bloom and Eliza Dushku. Eliza gets naked at the beginning of the movie. Sweet. You had fluffy pigtails. If pigtails can indeed be fluffy.
Anyway, the movie wasn't even out in theaters yet but I won the dvd. The dvd wasn't in the dvd box, but on the cover it said I'd get the dvd real soon, when the movie tanks at the box office. Not if, when.  You are box office poison.

B-
So I'm probably the only non-female here to have Orlando Bloom in my dream, right? And I really don't even know who the fuck he is. Bastard.

[Reply #671 on:]

... weird

[Reply #672 on:]

Originally posted by Spacedal11:
I come barring movie grades from Entertainment Weekly, the following:

Dreamer:

C+
Doom:C+
The Fog:D-
Domino:D
Wallace and Gromit: the Curse of the Were-Rabit:A
Elizabethtown:C+[/list]

Er... why are you telling us what "Entertainment Weekly" gave these films? So we can read it and adjust our own scores to match what they said?

Stealth

Saw this about a month or two ago. Can't remember a whole lot, really, but I think it was pretty decent. Mostly focused on Jessica Alba's twin "talents" until scenes with lots of schwooomp came on. There were huge holes in the plot and most of it didn't make much sense at all, particularly the point where Josh "Old Man" Lucas and the robot team up to indiscriminately kill some Ruskies (who were only doing their jobs in the first place, after giving fucking warnings) thirty seconds after they were trying to shoot each other out of the air. Decent movie, overall. Nearly no plot to speak of, but fun to watch.

Best part: The robot vehemently claiming "it wasn't his fault" somebody got killed, after deliberately leading him into some rocks.

Worst part: The fact that it actually needed to create a giant map with borders around the world so American audiences would know where an incredibly far-off country like North Korea was.

C?

[Reply #673 on:]

It's by South Australia, no?

[Reply #674 on:]

I have been watching Napoleon Dynamite and I thought it was a very funny film. Some of the scenes made me laugh and the characters are very good and well played. Napoleon, his brother Kip and his uncle Rico made me laugh the most.

Napoleon's Dance scene was so hooked and his quote "You want to play me?" just makes me laugh the most. I am going to watch it again and again.

Question about the DVD

Show spoiler

On the special features there was a little behind the scenes bit about Kip and Lafawnduh's wedding. I wonder where is the scene and are they going to make a second film?

[Reply #675 on:]

 

Originally posted by M0le:
Worst part: The fact that it actually needed to create a giant map with borders around the world so American audiences would know where an incredibly far-off country like North Korea was.

Hey, you've gotta have a big board in the war room.

[Reply #676 on:]

Yeah, otherwise the generals would have to stand around trying to remember where their minature models of personnel and apparatus would be pushed.

"General, we have to move against the insurgents."
"Okay, we'll move the 3rd tank division from Turkey to Iraq."
"Sir, the 3rd tank division isn't in Turkey.  It's in Anarctica."
"Damn it, why is that division in Antarctica?
"You sent it there three moves ago to get +3 rocket launchers.  Now it's stuck until you roll a 2 or a 5."
"Oh, if only I had some sort of board to keep track of these things!"

[Reply #677 on:]

Wallace and Gromit
This was an ok movie. There was a few funny parts like when that guy thought Wallace was have sex with his hubby and the nuts sticker. The end could have been better. B

[Reply #678 on:]

Juliet, isn't that scene at the end of the movie?

[Reply #679 on:]

Man, I must see Wallace and Gromit now, if homerjay reviews it in a "meh" way, then it quite clearly must be the most aweosme film I'll see this month.

I wish to bitch about my friends who have turned into hardcore bittorrent movie pirates and won't go and see W&G with me.... or Serenity for that matter.

Looks like it'll be LOTR: Two Towers all over again, I'll go on me own!