Movie Review Thread: The Remake

[Reply #600 on:]

You are a madman !

[Reply #601 on:]

THE SWALLOWING OF MARK'S TESTES
I finally got around to seeing this, and I must say, I was quite disappointed. After all the hype, it was a real let-down. The dramatic scenes between Felix and his daughter felt incredibly forced, and the big twist with Red's house was just lame.

Still, the movie had some decent scenes (I had tears in my eyes when Felix and Jane drank the poison oak - so sad  ), and I can see why so many people liked it, even if it wasn't for me.

C-

By the way, has anyone seen the sequel? Is it true that Harry comes back to life in it?

[Reply #602 on:]

 

Which Dawn of the Dead the old one or the newer version ?

I quoted the 1978 version, maybe that should clue you in.

[Reply #603 on:]

Wedding Crashers

Surprisingly funny, actually. Walken doesn't have much to do (other than be creepy as hell once or twice), but Wilson & Vaughn carry the movie well. Vaughn's crazy rants are even better than those of Old School, and this movie avoids that one's major drawback: way, way too much plot and not enough laughs in the third act. Wedding Crashers stays funny all the way through its 2 hours -- and the Will Ferrel bit almost killed me. "Women at funerals? Crazy. Horny." "MOM! ...the meatloaf! We want it!" 

8/10

Me and You and Everyone We Know

Damn, but this movie was good. Funny in that awkward, Napoleon Dynamite way, but with a lot more genuine laughs. Its great soundtrack is reminiscent of Napoleon too -- no retro stuff, but odd little techno/synth motifs that pop up again and again.

Jesus -- the part about "back and forth" had me laughing so hard I was crying. So many great little lines ("Email wouldn't even exist without AIDS." ) and perfect, real scenes. Unlike Napoleon Dynamite, which was like a caricature of real people, this just seems like real people, acting like real people do. Granted, it bears the hallmarks of abundant coincidence and time compression symptomatic of most movies, but none of it feels out of place. One of the best movie endings I've seen in a while, too.

9.5/10

[Reply #604 on:]

I want to watch the first dawn of the dead, but my video store doesn't carry it. I'v seen the newer version, but running zombies? That ruined it for me.

[Reply #605 on:]

 

Originally posted by Wooter:
I want to watch the first dawn of the dead, but my video store doesn't carry it.

Tell them I said their store sucks.  Seriously, next time you're there, tell them that some guy on the internet told you to tell them to get a copy of that.  Best zombie movie ever.

[Reply #606 on:]

Funny story. One night when Blockbuster didn't have any movies we wanted, I yelled "You're store's bad, and you should feel bad!", at the girl working there and walked out. Oh if looks could kill. 

[Reply #607 on:]

This one time I was at Blockbuster, and I couldn't find the movie I was looking for, so I asked the guy working there if they had it.  He said that he thought that they did, so he checked on the computer to see if they had it.  It turned out that they didn't have it.  I told him, "Forget it, then.  I don't want to rent anything else." and walked out of the store.

[Reply #608 on:]

Blockbuster sucks they don't even have the Goonies, Is it true about a Goonies 2?

[Reply #609 on:]

I remember wanting to rent the Majestic from Blockbuster and I couldn't find it. So my mom went and asked a guy and he said that it was pretty serious and I wouldn't like it because it would bore me. Well you know what?...

...He was right, dammit...

[Reply #610 on:]

Bah, browser screwed up. Disregard.

[Reply #611 on:]

Corpse Bride

Loved it. The story was great, the songs were great, and the instrumentals were gorgeous. Also thought that the acting was better then in Nightmare Before Xmas. Though Nightmare did have better songs.

[Reply #612 on:]

Do all of Wes Craven's characters have such crappy names?  I mean, come on, Jackson Rippner?  Show a little creativity, dammit.

[Reply #613 on:]

 

Originally posted by newhook_1:
Funny story. One night when Blockbuster didn't have any movies we wanted, I yelled "You're store's bad, and you should feel bad!", at the girl working there and walked out. Oh if looks could kill.   

Did she correct your grammar?

[Reply #614 on:]

Bad Taste
Aha! Checklist.
- Guns
- Skinny Peter Jackson
- Nerds
- Retarded aliens
- Chainsaws
- Machetes
- Exploding sheep
- Grown men eating chuck
- The "brown shot"

Missing in Action:
- Boobies    (exclusing gigantic Peter Jackson man-boobies)
A++

[Reply #615 on:]

No boobies and you still give it an A++? Are you high?

[Reply #616 on:]

Obviously.

When I become President of the Solar System, I will enforce that all movies have a Normal Edition, and a "Boob-filled Lesbian Slobberfest Edition".

This goes for all genres including childrens animation, documentarys, and even lesbian porn.

I think it would be for the better, no?

[Reply #617 on:]

I'd vote for you.

[Reply #618 on:]

Damn Venus beat me to the review,
Corpse Bride:

Saw this last night with my friend. One word, EXCELLENT! I loved the songs and story and it was just EXCELLENT! Also, I'm a total sucker for guys like Victor. They're sweet, quiet, and apologize for everything. Just great.

A for EXCELLENT!

By the way, The Remains of the Day song, is now apart of my iTunes list.

[Reply #619 on:]

Serenity

NON-SPECIFIC SPOILERS

Okay, I enjoyed this film. I probably enjoyed it more than most people would, being a Firefly fan. For fans of the show, this definately delivers. For others... it delivers, just not to the same extent. There's good lines, decent action, and a fun little plot that goes low-key to high-key, in the way that these sci-fi plots do.

The key here is how much you have invested in the characters, and the universe. A lot of people will go in, see certain events, and go 'so what?' A particular character dies, and they wouldn't bat an eye. However, fans like me will be going "whhhhhhhhaaaat? You evil fucks!" as the movie pulls a nasty trick or two on the viewers.I doubt these sort of things will have the same sort of impact on your casual viewer. This film might pull off Cult Hit, though I don't think it'll be a big cinema success. I enjoyed it thoroughly, though. Characters being childish and petty will always appeal.

And is it just me, or does Mal's pistol thingy look gold-plated now?

B+

[Reply #620 on:]

 

Originally posted by SlackJawedMoron:
And is it just me, or does Mal's pistol thingy look gold-plated now?

What, you mean like Gene Starwind's caster pistol?   

[Reply #621 on:]

Oldboy
A man is imprisoned in a room years without a word of who did it or why or when he'll get out.
Inside all he has is a TV, an occasional meal, regualr gasings (to sleep) and hypnotisings.

After 15 years, just before he thinks he can escape, he wakes up in a suitcase on the roof of a building slightly pissed off and in need of a haircut.

Pretty good revenge film that gets twisted very fast when his captor starts appearing everywhere and then gives him an ultimatum, "find out why you were improsoned or I kill myself and you'll never know".
It's graphic (tongue cutting off, hammer-dentistry), there's boobies, incest and a white haired kung-fu guy, and there's some hilariously disturbing bits in it.

Go Oldboy!
B+

[Reply #622 on:]

I had the opportunity to see Serenity tonight at midnight (it comes out tomorrow in the States.)  Unfortunately, that would be incredibly stupid seeing as I've already slept through two of my MWF classes this week and missed all three Monday.  I guess I'll just have to watch it tomorrow night like a plebe.

[Reply #623 on:]

You fool, what kind of college student are you?  You're worried about sleeping through another class?  You sicken me.

[Reply #624 on:]

 

Originally posted by David A:
 What, you mean like Gene Starwind's caster pistol?   

Well, er, possibly. I've never seen it.

If it is golden, it's a very dull golden. It just seemed to have a yellowish sheen to it sometimes.

Though to add to David A's growing list of 'stuff Whedon nicked from Anime' the hero with a pistol faces off against a villian with a sword. Though he loses the pistol pretty quick. Then gets the crap beaten out of him. Mal's a terrible fighter. 

[Reply #625 on:]

 

Originally posted by bankrupt:
You fool, what kind of college student are you?  You're worried about sleeping through another class?  You sicken me.

Intro Japanese.  And my first batch of tests start Monday.  Trust me, I need tomorrow.

[Reply #626 on:]

 

Originally posted by SlackJawedMoron:
 Well, er, possibly. I've never seen it.

Then have a look.

[Reply #627 on:]

Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride

Totally different from Nightmare. I liked the story, and loved the dead jokes they threw in, especially "Why go up there when everybody's dying to get down here?" Depp's performance was great, though I'd have to give Bonham Carter the award for best voice over in that movie, with Lee and Finney after that. Overall, great movie, though I liked the songs from Nightmare a little more, though that may be because I've seen Nightmare thousands of times, but another great composition by Danny Elfman. I give it an A+ for Awesomely Awesome.

[Reply #628 on:]

Serenity

I am a leaf on the wind.  Watch how I soar.

A

[Reply #629 on:]

I think I must the only person on PEEL who hates Tim Burton (everyone else seems to love the "dark" twist he puts on things).

I refuse to see the Corpse Bride on principle, especially if it's anything like NBC.

EDIT: To make my post legitimate, a review of Sin City:

The beginning was shit, the middle part kicked ass, and the end was acceptable. So it all rounds off to a nice even B.

[Reply #630 on:]

Serenity

Best movie ever.  I ain't never seen more'n an episode of the series, but I loved this damn movie.  It had all the greatness you can expect from a sci fi movie or a TV series conclusion movie: southern accents, random Chinese, callbacks, main characters getting unexpectedly impaled, subplots getting tied off, the bad guy from Equilibrium playing the exact same character*, a space battle to rival Episode III's opening for awesomeness.

So buying the series now.  And maybe sending some more canned fish to Fox Broadcasting.

   

Hell, I'll kill a man in a fair fight or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight or if he bothers me or if there's a woman or if I'm gettin paid, mostly only when I'm gettin paid.

Baldwins for the win.

A+

*I looked it up, and it's not the same actor.  But the characters are damn similar.
Oh, and underage psychic asskicking crazy chicks.  Can't forget those.

[Reply #631 on:]

Personally, I liked "It's been going on a year since I had anything betwixt my nethers that weren't run on batteries" the best.

I ::heart:: Kaylee.

[Reply #632 on:]

I could stand to hear a little more...

[Reply #633 on:]

The Breakfast Club

Ah I love WE. Not really but I love that they played this movie. Long story short, it was really good. I am going to make my friend watch it this weekend. Why? Because I wanna hear the movie that wasn't censored for TV.

Big freakin A

[Reply #634 on:]

Robots It have a few laughs but the plot was meh. It felt like they where trying to rip off Dreamworks.Middle Cish

[Reply #635 on:]

Spacedal, who is that in your av?

[Reply #636 on:]

 

Originally posted by Jeremy:
Spacedal, who is that in your av?

Same as who i have. Amy Lee from Evanescence.

[Reply #637 on:]

Ah. Thought so. She looks hotter in Spacedal's av.

[Reply #638 on:]

Venus answered for me, so thanks. And I have to agree, Amy Lee is really pretty. So, thanks to everyone, you all get 100 dollars.

[Reply #639 on:]

Escape from LA

A dire warning of things to come.  Needs no explanation.

A-

Bear in mind I haven't seen Escape from NY.

Notable quotes: the entire script of Metal Gear Solid 2