Movie Review Thread: The Remake

[Reply #280 on:]

Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy

According to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the information repository,) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the motion picture,) is somewhat above-par science fiction movie that bears a passing resemblance to the novel and radio serial of the same name.  While lacking in humor, narrative cohesion, and resolution, it's still better than Episode I.

As an adaptation: C it would be worse, but we're talking about the Guide.  It's supposed to get Belgiumed up in the translation, that's half the fun.

As a film: B-

Good things:
Jim Henson puppets
Half-drunk Zaphod for pretty much the whole movie
The whale monologue
Alan Rickman
Slartibartfast

Bad things:
Jokes with half or all of the setup missing
More plot holes than the original, if you can believe that.
Americanization of the plotline. Why, exactly, did the mice have to die?  Because they were Bad Guys, or perhaps to help satisfy
Trillian/Arthur shipping.  This was not handled well.  It wasn't mind-bogglingly horrible, but the setup/motivation for it was a bit too obtrusive and detracted from the original theme.  This ties in with the Americanization bit.
No explanation of the towels, dammit.

Requisite-Disney-musical-number TOTPD:
So long, and thanks for all the fish,
Sorry that it had to come to this,
You may not share our intellect
Which would explain your disrespect for the natural wonders all around you.

[Reply #281 on:]

Unleashed should have gone by its much better international title, Danny the Dog.  This movie was pretty damn good.  The second act dragged on a lot, the girl was annoying, and the third act was too short, so there's less fighting than there could have been, but Luc Besson has always been able to make the human element interesting between the action setpieces, and he brings it this time.  Bob Hoskins acts the hell out of his role, and Jet Li gets to flex his acting chops, too.  It's 18 minutes into the movie before he says a word, and he's already got the character pretty well fleshed out.  He looks and moves like a pile of old clothes.  Then they take off the collar, and bam!

Louis Leterrier directs, and he's okay, lots of steely Le Samourai blues, then mellow colors when Danny's trying to live a 'normal' life, then back to steely blue for the third act, but the fights seem pretty stilted, and the stuntmen are too obviously French.  But God, Bob Hoskins ruled.

Anyway, it's not up to Leon standards, but I bet Jet Li could take Jean Reno in a fight.  And for that matter, Bob Hoskins could eat Gary Oldman for breakfast.

[Reply #282 on:]

Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The only reason why I watched this movie was because my sister wanted to see it and I never read the book. It was too long of a movie. It was good for the first 30 mins then it went into a big pile of crap and boredom when Arthur ment the robot and the other two people. I almost fell asleep. The only neat thing about this movie was the puppets. D

[Reply #283 on:]

Why am I not surprised that you can only be entertained by puppets?

[Reply #284 on:]

 

Originally posted by canned eggs:
I bet Jet Li could take Jean Reno in a fight.

It's not that I disagree with you, I just wanted to use it. 

[Reply #285 on:]

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Is there a grade above A?  Let me just say that this movie was awesome.  If say Ep II were progressively better than Ep I, and that Mt. St. Helens planned to erupt in the near future, Episode III would be like Lord Poseidon lifting all the oceans of the world up and hurling them into the sun as it explodes decimating half the Milky Way. 

At any rate, the movie was utterly fantastic.  The story was written well, the dialogue was written well, and the pace was exact.  I don't even have to mention any of the action, since this is the most action packed movie you've probably seen in your entire lifetime up until now.  The lightsabre duels.... OMG, I just orgasmed three times in my pants (and I'm a guy).  It's really no wonder they're going to redo the duel between obi and vader in the old movies, because it just doesn't compare with the ferocity of the battle they have in this movie.  Seriously, if you see one movie this summer, this is it; and you wonder why no other movies opened this weekend?  Seriously, just go see the damn movie, even if you're not a fan of star wars, you'll love it! 

[Reply #286 on:]

Dammit, he found the precognizance drugs.

Wanna bring some of that over here?  I'm home for the summer.

[Reply #287 on:]

Well, I am going to see Star Wars Episode 3 next weekend!

[Reply #288 on:]

The Phantom of the Opera (2004[?] version)

Complete and utter crapola. I'm a girl. I like musicals, generally. I like pretty costumes and sets and all that I-almost-minored-in-costume-design type stuff... But... holy crap, this movie sucked like hell. The first maybe 15 minutes seemed okay. No wait. It started off with a flash forward. That sucked, and for no reason at all was in black and white. Don't they know that the flashbacks are supposed to be in black and white? At any rate, the actual musical numbers were decent, Mini Driver was good, and the girl who played Christine was a good singer (if a stupid actress). There was a lot of sing-talking, which grated. Either talk or sing. Shut up sing-talkers! Sets, costumes, etc, were all good, but not enough to put up with the fact that they totally screwed up the storyline. Christine is supposed to be conflicted about which man to choose, but they made the Phantom so annoying and perverted right from the start that you don't ever think she'll pick him and then get annoyed when she doesn't just run away from him right away. C-

[Reply #289 on:]

"The Incredibles"
Hardly interesting/entertaining. Extremely overrated. - C

"Der Untergang"
Absolutely wonderful, powerful, engaging etc. Probably the best solo performance that I've ever seen by Bruno Ganz. - A

[Reply #290 on:]

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Trying too hard to be like the Twlight Zone and does little. It also ends up being lame and boring. Why is Jim Carry playing a 20 year old? D-

I haven't seen I good movies in years.

[Reply #291 on:]

Meet The Fockers
This one's waaaay better than the first one. I thought Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Striesand were excellent as Gregs Parent's. It had a lot more jokes than the first one and a better storyline. A

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgendy
Great movie. It had a really cool storyline and Will Ferral was excellent. Baxter getting kicked over the bridge was my favourite part. A

[Reply #292 on:]

 

Originally posted by bhealy:
"The Incredibles"
Hardly interesting/entertaining. Extremely overrated. - C

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeee
eeeeeeeeees! 

I knew there was a peeler who wasn't brainwashed by this shit either. I'm so happy! I love you bhealy. 

[Reply #293 on:]

So.... people who enjoyed a film that you yourself didn't must have obviously been brainwashed. Right.

How does it feel to be the society's sole arbitrator of popular culture quality?

[Reply #294 on:]

Is it just me, or has Ben been extra snarky recently?

Or maybe it's just a return to form, I don't know. It's amusing.

Now, er, movies....

Revenge of the Nerds

Even I wanted to punch the lead characters by the end. Worthwhile for sad kitchy fun, but about as accomplished as a rocking horse with no legs.

D

[Reply #295 on:]

I just saw the unrated DVD version of Team America.  There's only a single shot that wasn't in the theatrical version.  It was very, very disturbing.

Show spoiler

Golden shower and coprophilia... with puppets.  Shudder.

[Reply #296 on:]

Team America: World Police

It had a few funny parts in it. They could have done   better. I like south park better. C 

[Reply #297 on:]

Revenge of the Sith

Okay, let me set this out for you people:-

It works.

There's some clunky dialogue, there's an over-reliance of CG during fight scenes, Darth Vader's "NOOoooooooo!" scream is just a little too silly, and it feels a little rushed towards the end.

Yet it works.

The Obi-Wan/Anakin fight is absolutely insane. It's faster than Ep1, it's more chaotic then... well... anything, and it JUST. KEEPS. GOING. Totally awesome.

Yoda takes no shit from anything. Kick ass.

Anakin gets totally fucked up. It's quite graphic.

It's never hilarious, but there's more than a few smirks.

I loved the opening. Those drums were cool.

Palpatine is actually a little silly sounding sometimes.

Poor Mace.

I'll think I'll be splaying my fingers out at people and screaming 'UNLIMITED POWEEEEEEER!' for days.

All in all, cool. You'll probably enjoy it. It still bears some of the criticism's of the rest of the series (wooden acting, clunky dialogue during romance scenes), but you can forgive them. Well, I did.

...

UNLIMTED POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!

A-

[Reply #298 on:]

 

Originally posted by Ben:
So.... people who enjoyed a film that you yourself didn't must have obviously been brainwashed. Right.

How does it feel to be the society's sole arbitrator of popular culture quality?

I am sick of explaining things. Though I will. Brainwashing as in people act like this and Napolean Dynamyte were the answers to their movie prers. And that I'm the evil devil who's here to piss them all off with my "no-fun to watch a movie with" which is not true! Damn no independent movie-goers.

[Reply #299 on:]

@Spacedal: What the heck is a "prer"?

Star Wars: Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

Dear.  Sweet.  Jeebus.  That was the most fun I've had in a movie theater since Return of the King.  It was like if you took everything even remotely awesome from the first 5 movies, rolled them up in a ball, and compressed them into two hours of sheer nerdgasm.

On a down note, Johnny D did not provide the voice of Grievous.

Specific thoughts:

Show spoiler

Is it just me, or did Grievous go down kinda easy?  Obi Wan more or less tore him a new one.  Several times.  Also, what happened to all his lightsabers?

I'm wondering if they decided to go with the Timothy Zahn idea of the clones being "wrong" somehow with the Force.  The Jedi seemed toreact sluggishly to being betrayed.

Yoda is definitely The Little Green Pinball of Destruction.

I ::heart:: Chewie.

Definitely not for young impressionable children, in between the massive on-screen body count, near-death of Anakin, and the Younglings getting nuked.

Obi-wan did to Anakin what Darth Maul should have done to him.

That yound Padawan kicked ass, until he got shot.

Good to see Bail Organa take more of an active role, finally.

A little heavy-handed on the whole "Democracy is teh sheezy!" thing.

I'm pretty sure that was Mon Motha at Padme's funeral.

I liked digital Tarkin.

Jar Jar didn't have a single line!

[Reply #300 on:]

Show spoiler

It was Mon Mothma... I stayed for the full credits, and there she was.
I like Tarkin as well, though noone but me seemed to notice him.

[Reply #301 on:]

How young is too young to see Ep. III? Cause my brother is nine, and I have no friends my own age.

[Reply #302 on:]

I figure the worst that can happen to your brother from seeing Ep. III is that he decides to pursue a life of evil.  It'll give you something to talk about at family reunions

[Reply #303 on:]

Well...

Show spoiler

That guy who turns into Darth Vader. You know which one I mean... He gets pretty much chopped to hell (one arm, two legs), then burnt all over. Screaming and agony and that kind of stuff.

[Reply #304 on:]

 

Originally posted by VelourFog:
How young is too young to see Ep. III? Cause my brother is nine, and I have no friends my own age.

Can't you go with Jeff, or has he abandoned you now that he's got a girlfriend?

[Reply #305 on:]

 

Originally posted by Pikka Bird:
Well...

Show spoiler

That guy who turns into Darth Vader. You know which one I mean... He gets pretty much chopped to hell (one arm, two legs), then burnt all over. Screaming and agony and that kind of stuff.

haha. Maybe that will teach my brother the lesson that bad stuff happens to whiny little boys.

[Reply #306 on:]

I call it Black Knight Syndrome.

Anyway, I'll post details if I feel like it, but
A

[Reply #307 on:]

 

Originally posted by David A:
 Can't you go with Jeff, or has he abandoned you now that he's got a girlfriend?

I believe she's moved from "girlfriend" to "ball and chain".

[Reply #308 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nixorbo:
@Spacedal: What the heck is a "prer"?

Prair? The present noun of preying. I'm stupid and I don't know the use of the dictionary. And no one give me a link to an online dictionary sight. That's mean.

[Reply #309 on:]

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Awesome. Awesome to the max.

Blew me away.

9.7/10

[Reply #310 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nerd-o-rama:
Dammit, he found the precognizance drugs.

Wanna bring some of that over here?  I'm home for the summer.

The hell's that supposed to mean?!? 

[Reply #311 on:]

 

Originally posted by Spacedal11:
 Prair? The present noun of preying. I'm stupid and I don't know the use of the dictionary. And no one give me a link to an online dictionary sight. That's mean.

Ok then, it's "prayer", by the way.

[Reply #312 on:]

 

Originally posted by winna:
 The hell's that supposed to mean?!?   

It means that he's after your spice.  You should kill him and take his water.

[Reply #313 on:]

Well winna, you posted a review - a completely accurate one, I might add - of a movie two days before it was released.  So naturally, I assumed you'd been snorting the mélange.

[Reply #314 on:]

Revenge of the Sith
Well, it kicked arse. Only a few bad points:

Show spoiler

"I'm pregnant." What is this? Dawson's Creek?

Grievous was retarded. He should get off the smokes, too.

9.5

[Reply #315 on:]

What's the over/under on the first bad review of Sith?

[Reply #316 on:]

 

Originally posted by Melllvar:
 Ok then, it's "prayer", by the way.

Yeah, that nonsense

[Reply #317 on:]

Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith (2005)


I saw the movie at 22:10 GMT +2 (day light savings time) on 19th May 2005.

I have no words to describe what I felt! It was just so amazing.  The space battles, the light sabre battles, the plot and storyline rocked! It sums up the trilogy that leads into a new hope perfectly. It also explains why Anakin becomes Darth Vader and why he needs to wear the mask and the suit and breathes heavily. Now the cycle of the story is complete!

There are tons of heart-breaking moments too. I truly felt bad for Anakin in this one. He was being pulled in two different directions. So sad he did not made the right decision and turned into Darth Vader.  In sum this movie was an emotional rollercoaster.
 
Overall on a scale of 1-10, I'm definitely giving this episode a 10 because that is what it truly deserves. The movie theatre was so full that evening we had to get there to line up half an hour earlier and luckily we got there early and so we both got a good seat! There were people that came in later asking me whether the seats beside me were available, because the room was so full.

Finally:
Thank you George Lucas, for making the ending film goes out with a bang and may the force be with you, always.



         

Originally posted by mint:
Well, I am going to see Star Wars Episode 3 next weekend

Well we ended up seeing it earlier, Mr Mint couldn’t wait till the weekend, he said it would be too crowded then! Thun..thun...thun..thun...thu n..thun..thun...thun...thun

[Reply #318 on:]

Note: Reposted from the starwars thread.

It's official, at the largest mass of SW fans on the web, ROTS has dethroned ESB as the fan favorite. Note: This obviously didn't happen after TPM and AOTC.
I saw this movie at 12:01, and it blew me the fuck away. I was in tears and in laughter in so many places. Some of the lines made my hair stand on end, with their sheer intensity; or should I say their "POOOOOOWWWWWAHHHHH UNLEEMITAD POOOOOWAAAHHH"? Obi-wans post-Anakin's legs and arm speech made me lose it as did the Order 66. I had no idea it would have such an effect on me. Ki-Adi Mundi went down like such a warrior. The audience and I gasped in horror as the Arc troopers gunned down Aayla Secura and fried her corpse. A mother covered her childs ears and eyes during the temple raid and Anakin frying in the hot sand of mustafar and being operated on by the cold malicous hands of the medical droids and the intercut scenes his dying wife giving birth to the galaxies last hope.
The multiple endings put ROTK to shame. They were more efficient and much more memorable and didn't make the audience lose patients and feel more like getting up and leaving then feeling what the characters feel. The success of this movie comes down to the ability to feel what the characters feel with such empathy. No other Prequel could achieve such a feat as could no other Original trilogy movie.

[Reply #319 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nerd-o-rama:
Well winna, you posted a review - a completely accurate one, I might add - of a movie two days before it was released.  So naturally, I assumed you'd been snorting the mélange.

*kills nerdo and steals his water.... then rides off on the back of monolithic worm*

Let's just say that I had an opportunity to see the movie a little bit earlier than most..... and that I'm not at any liberty whatsoever to explain how or why.