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Author Topic: Good news, everyone!  (Read 10482 times)
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Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« on: 08-08-2002 19:36 »

A Farnsworth quote thread.

Farnsworth: "Cygnoids! On our block? Fine-phoo. They should go back where they came from."
Leela: "Professor, please! Society is never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other. Now let’s go over there and make these hideous strangers feel welcome."
Farnsworth: "NO!"

Farnsworth: "Go team! Beat those no-good Signoids. Show them they stink at a game they’d never played before."

Farnsworth: "Good news everyone! I'm sending you all on a highly controversial mission!"
Fry: Controversial?
Farnsworth: "Oh my, no."
(Cut to Prof's lab)
Farnsworth: "On this highly controversial mission..."

Farnsworth: "Start the ship Leela, lets just steal the damned radar dish."
Fry: "But won't that change history?"
Farnsworth: "Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm-My-Own-Grandpa! Lets just get the hell out of here, screw history!"

Don't confuse not caring with not knowing!
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #1 on: 08-08-2002 20:40 »

"Madness runs in our family. Why, some even called me mad. And why? Because I dared to dream of creating a race of atomic monsters, superior beings with octagonal bodies that drink bloood..."
Chump

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #2 on: 08-08-2002 21:33 »

Farnsy: I'll create a new crew member! With laser cannons in his chest, and a heart as black as coal!
Bender: Call me if the new guy can't handle things.

Farnsy: Oh fuff! Why bother remembering anything? You'll only forget it 5 seconds later!

Farnsy: I still don't see why you wouldn't let me install a laser cannon in your chest, to crush those who oppose you!

Fry: I wanna show Leela my skills!
Farnsy: Hmmmm... will said skills pay the bills?
RandomEngy

Delivery Boy
**
« Reply #3 on: 08-08-2002 21:58 »

The quote actually goes more like this:

Better yet, I'll build a replacement... some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monster, with freeway onramps for arms and a heart as black as coal...

And you left out the end of the 3rd quote. "But I guess we're just two different people."
haleys_comet

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #4 on: 08-09-2002 00:04 »
« Last Edit on: 08-09-2002 00:04 »

Proffessor: That's right, animals in desperate need of rescue.  You see, Vergon 6 was once filled with a super dense substance known as Dark Matter, each pound of which weighs over 10,000 pounds.
Leela: Wait, what about the animals?
Proffessor: Well, Dark Matter is extremely valuable as starship fuel. 
That's why it was all mined out, leaving the planet completely hollow
Leela: Yes, but what about the animals?
Proffessor: The what?
Leela: The animals
Proffessor: I didn't say anything about animals.  Now, it seems the planet will collapse within three days. Incidentally, this will kill all the animals
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #5 on: 08-09-2002 00:10 »

My internet browser heard us say the word "Fry" and found this movie on Philip Fry.  It also opened my calendar to Friday and ordered some french fries.
Joe25

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #6 on: 08-09-2002 01:31 »

"I suppose it is technically possible, although I am already in my pajamas"...
scottbot

Crustacean
*
« Reply #7 on: 08-09-2002 02:34 »

Interesting thing... I just stumbled across some info on one Philo T. Farnsworth....  apparently he invented the television, had a role in creating radar, and did some experiments with inertial fusion...

I found it on the webpage of an inventor/hobbiest who wants to investigate Farnsworth's expired patent on inertial electrical fusion.

Here's the blurb...

Philo was single handedly inventing broadcast television and designing all of the electron tubes (transistors are still two decades in the future) necessary to make it work.  Sadly, shortly after his first public demonstration, the Japanese sucked us into World War Two.  The government drafted Philo and put him to work at MIT's Radiation Laboratory where he developed a new toy, dubbed RAdio Detection And Ranging.  As you may know, many people believe that radar won W.W.II (whereas the nuclear bomb only ended it).  Clearly, Philo was a fairly bright individual.

Now, let's fast forward to the 60's.  The cold war is in full swing.  Television has become the Boob Tube.  Philo is working as a wage slave at International Telephone and Telegraph.  At this time ITT had an active nuclear physics program and the hot topic was controlled fusion.  I don't know the circumstances, but apparently Philo learned about the fusion problem and realized that he already knew how to solve it.  In his earlier work with electron tubes he had developed a diode tube to handle enormous currents using what he termed virtual electrodes (actually, inertially confined plasma).  The device consists simply of a spherical wire grid inside of an evacuated spherical conductive shell.  Placing a high negative potential on the inner grid causes ionization of the residual gas and acceleration of the cations towards the center of the device where a high density plasma is formed.  This plasma is then continuously bombarded with high energy cations.  Philo figured that if the tube was filled with a mixture of deuterium and tritium (two heavy isotopes of hydrogen that undergo fusion at relatively low energy) the plasma density and bombardment energy of his virtual electrode diode should be sufficient to initiate stable fusion.  It worked great, generating lots of fast neutrons, helium and energy and Philo filed several patents (all assigned to ITT).  About the same time that Philo was having success with his fusion reactor, ITT decided to ax its nuclear division.  Philo was forced into retirement and died shortly thereafter.  One of his collaborators from ITT got a look at what the Russians were doing with magnetically confined plasmas and loudly announced to the physics community that Tokomaks were the wave of the future for fusion research (this may have been due in part to disillusionment with all things ITT and the realization that ITT still held the patents on IEC fusion, essentially placing this area of research off limits to him) and IEC fusion was forgotten.

The site is   http://members.tm.net/lapointe/Main.html
The page on Farnsworth is  http://members.tm.net/lapointe/IEC_Fusion.html .

Or search google for some other, mostly boring biographies.  One interesting tidbit from them... Farnsworth felt later in life that with TV he had created a monster.  He felt that the programming was all worthless and that he had made it possible for people to waste their lives.  Naturally, he didn't let his kids watch TV.
[RSA]Top-Dogg
Crustacean
*
« Reply #8 on: 08-09-2002 05:59 »

isnt plasma just a wery heated material? so wouldnt it just melt the container?
Zed 85

Space Pope
****
« Reply #9 on: 08-09-2002 08:53 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Nixorbo:
My internet browser heard us say the word "Fry" and found this movie on Philip Fry.  It also opened my calendar to Friday and ordered some french fries.

Preceded by one of my favourite quotes
"Shut up, friends!"

 wink


Daniela = Pravda!
Impossible

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #10 on: 08-09-2002 13:57 »

"People are always on about saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in a great white shark - ohhhh! You've gone too far!"

Or something like that >_<
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #11 on: 08-09-2002 15:52 »

Farnsworth: "Oh, I always feared he would run of like this. Why? Why? WHY? Why didn't I break his legs?"
Joe25

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #12 on: 08-10-2002 01:08 »

Sweet Zombie Jesus!!
haleys_comet

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #13 on: 08-10-2002 01:44 »

Prof: Good new's everyone
Bender: Uh oh. I don't like the sound of that
Prof: Today you'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisol
Bender: Here it comes
Prof: A mysterious world in the depth of the forbidden zone
Bender: Thankyou and good night
Mitsui

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #14 on: 08-10-2002 05:21 »

Prof: Do I hear wedding bells?
Fry: What? No!
Prof: Oh dear...

Prof:[reading autocue] I must refuse your offer of marriage, because you see, Im dying. Cough then fall over dead
Zoidy: My God. He's dead
[Prof looks shocked and checks his pulse]
bartman

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #15 on: 08-10-2002 15:16 »

From aliens attack right?
hilarious
Chump

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #16 on: 08-10-2002 21:42 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Joe25:
"I suppose it is technically possible, although I am already in my pajamas"...

Oddly, this was said twice, in the first 2 episodes. I think it was intended to be a catchphrase of "Good News Everyone!" proportions... but it never continued. The other is:

"My goodness! I should do something! But I am already in my pyjamas..." (Falls asleep)

Or something like that.
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #17 on: 08-10-2002 22:16 »

"The tanker has 6000 hulls. So, unlike me, it's completely leak-proof."
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #18 on: 08-10-2002 23:12 »

"The last time aliens invaded they just seperated the most intelligent of us and forced us to mate continuously.  Oh yes . . . "

"I'm beginning to think there won't be any mating at all!"
Chump

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #19 on: 08-11-2002 10:36 »

I had you two put together for a reason. So I would only have to remember one phone number!
haleys_comet

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #20 on: 08-11-2002 20:40 »

Phaser eye surgery is a capital idea. I'm sure Leela's tired of morons gaping at her eye all the time. (gapes) Oh!
Melllvar

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #21 on: 08-11-2002 20:44 »

Farnsworth: "I'd like everyone to meet our new employees. ... *whispers* Which ones are new?"
Hermes: "The green dude, and the fat mon."
Farnsworth: "Hmmm, I could swear I've never seen that robot before either."
Bender: "I'm Bender. You know? The lovable rascal."
Farnsworth: "Ohh, yes!"  *looks at Hermes and shrugs*
Joe25

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #22 on: 08-15-2002 01:45 »

"Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr 'I'm my own Grampa'.  Lets get the hell out of here!  Screw history!"
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #23 on: 08-15-2002 14:50 »

"Oh, dear, she's caught in an infinite loop and he's an idiot. Well, that's love for you."
haleys_comet

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #24 on: 08-16-2002 02:29 »

Prof: Your not going to believe this but Spargels secret ingredient was water ordinary water
Fry: So the real secret ingredient was confidence. Confidence to be your best
Prof: Yes ordinary water. Mixed with a few spoonfulls of LSD
Chump

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #25 on: 08-22-2002 00:02 »

Prof: Focus! Focus!

-------

Prof: Oh, I know its a rip, but I'll pay for the convenience.
haleys_comet

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #26 on: 08-26-2002 21:08 »

Proffessor: Go on, you dummy
Proffessor: Well, lets drag him to the curb

Guy

Professor
*
« Reply #27 on: 08-28-2002 15:45 »

Farnsworth: (Talking to new crew members) You'll be the Captian, you'll be the delivery boy, and you'll be the dissobediant, foul mouthed robot.
(Fry, Bender and Leela enter)
Farnsworth: Oh, God you're alive! I mean thank God you're alive. (To 3 strangers) Sorry, check back in a few days, a week at most.
Juliet

DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #28 on: 08-28-2002 16:45 »

Oh I knew he would run off like this, why, why didn't I break his legs!
Bendo

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #29 on: 08-28-2002 19:28 »

Leela: You know what would be a hoot?
Farnsworth: No! Why would I know that?!

From Mother's Day when Fry and the rest walk in on Mom and Farnsworth after they have, well you know.  smile
Farnsworth: Oh, yes.

RM
Shadowstar

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #30 on: 08-28-2002 19:49 »

Prof.: Dirt doesn't need luck.
haleys_comet

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #31 on: 08-28-2002 22:15 »

Farnsworth: This isn't a business. I always thought of it as a source of cheap labour. Like a family.
Zed 85

Space Pope
****
« Reply #32 on: 08-29-2002 03:27 »

er...that guy over there: Hey, this isn't a business plan, it's an escape plan!
Farnsworth: So long suckers, wehehehehehehe!

--------------------

Farnsworth *talking about Central Beurocracy*: ...I've never been, but I once knew someone who went completely mad just trying to find the bathroom!
Leela: Then we'll need a guide, someone who's been there before.
Farnsworth: Oh, I've been! Lots of times! Mwehehheheehehaehaehehaeha
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #33 on: 09-02-2002 11:09 »

Leela: "Here you go. Hot off the nebula."
Farnsworth: "None too soon! While you where gone the Trotters held a newsconference to announce I was a "jive sucker"!"

evan

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #34 on: 09-02-2002 11:41 »

Farnsworth:"Oh great, on top of everything, we need a fifth player."
Fry: "Oooh, ooh, let me in. I wanna show Leela my skils."
Farnsworth: "Hmm.. (pondering) can said skills pay the bills?"

Farnsworth: "Oh, sure, everybody's always up for saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in the body of a great white shark, suddenly you've gone too far!"
evan

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #35 on: 09-02-2002 13:21 »

(Farnsworth lurches forward and grabs his chest)
Farnsworth: "Ooh, ah, ooh."
Fry: (very worried) "What's wrong?"
Farnsworth: (gasping for air): "It's...it's my..new pager. (proceeds to pull pager from coat pocket)"

(testing out the F-Ray on Bender)
Farnworth: "Now, you might feel a slight stinging sensation....all of you!"

Aah, the sweet smell of malfunctioning science.
haleys_comet

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #36 on: 09-11-2002 23:10 »

Fansworth: Dear me
evan

Urban Legend
***
« Reply #37 on: 09-11-2002 23:21 »

(about his change of posture and change of attitude)

Farnsworth: "...I've even started dating a Brazillian supermodel. Some say that I'm robbing the cradle, but I like to think she's robbing the grave."
Kryten

Space Pope
****
« Reply #38 on: 09-11-2002 23:43 »

"We all need a new angle on life.... wangle a new dangle on life..."
WhatAreYou

Crustacean
*
« Reply #39 on: 01-05-2005 13:42 »

farnsworth: Bad news, nobody. The super-collider super exploded
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