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Author Topic: The Professor's greatest moments of senility  (Read 634 times)
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Mike!

Bending Unit
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« on: 05-15-2002 12:16 »

What are your favourite examples of the Professor proving that he's more than a little bit past it?  I love:

- "Where am I now?" from 'Bender Gets Made'
- (Prof to Fry)"You'd have to be blind to see Leela's a cyclops" - (Hermes)"Fry's over there"
- Thinking he's dead at the beginning of 'Futurestocks"
Chump

Urban Legend
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« Reply #1 on: 05-15-2002 12:51 »

I liked when he was insulting Hattie in Futurestock, when he was pissed about the Signoids in A Leela of Her Own, and when he is talking about building a replacement for Bender in Bender Gets Made
"A Heart as Black as Coal!"

Now 15% less threatening to your sexuality!
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #2 on: 05-15-2002 14:05 »

Something along these lines:

Prof: Good news everybody!  I'm sending you on a highly controversial mission!
Leela: Controversial?
Prof: Controversial?  Oh my, no.  *Scene changes*  Now on this highly controversial mission . . .
Otis P Jivefunk

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #3 on: 05-15-2002 14:16 »
« Last Edit on: 05-15-2002 14:16 »

Something like...

Professor : Do I hear wedding bells?
Fry : No.
Professor : Oh.

And this classic from "I Second That Emotion", it went something like this...

Professor : Ahhh, poor Nibbler, gone to a better place where I too hope one day to go... the toilet.
ghoulishmoose

Urban Legend
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« Reply #4 on: 05-15-2002 16:22 »

I cant remember which episode it was in but the proffesor went to get something from a drawer and he said "Its in here next to my heart" and he opened the drawer and his heart was in a jar  laff I think it was a recent episode that it was in but I really really cant remember  smile
Otis P Jivefunk

DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #5 on: 05-15-2002 16:31 »
« Last Edit on: 05-15-2002 16:31 »

It was in "Futurestocks", I agree, cool moment  smile
Joe25

Bending Unit
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« Reply #6 on: 05-15-2002 16:44 »
« Last Edit on: 05-15-2002 16:44 »

Mom : Daphodils? you remembered my favorite flower

Prof: Your favorite what? Why does my foot hurt?
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #7 on: 05-15-2002 17:19 »

Not so much senility, but I love this quote from "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back". That's really a "Oh, he lost it"-moment.  laff


Farnsworth: “You can’t just walse into the Central Bureaucracy. It’s a tangled web of red tape and regulations. I’ve never been there, but a friend of mine went complete mad, just trying to find a washroom.”
Leela: “We need a guide, soemone who’s been there before.”
Farnsworth: “Oh, I’ve been there before, lots of times.” [madly, insane laugh]

Don't confuse not caring with not knowing!
ghoulishmoose

Urban Legend
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« Reply #8 on: 05-16-2002 09:36 »

Another bit thats cool is in "Xmas Story" where he's asleep but skiing really well down the hill doing loads of tricks. And then he skiis into the cabin with a medal round his neck and a vest with a number on  smile That was really funny  laff
Just Chris

Urban Legend
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« Reply #9 on: 05-16-2002 11:00 »

Professor:Now be careful, Fry. And if you kill anyone, make sure to eat their heart, to gain their courage. Their rich, tasty courage!
(Makes weird growling noise and slurps tongue)
Heliotrope

Crustacean
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« Reply #10 on: 05-22-2002 20:53 »

Computer:" This is Vergon 6"
Proff:" This is Vergon 6"
Amy:" Buh!"
Proff:" Its a sunny little doomed planet, inhabbited by a number of frisky little doomed Animals"
Leela:" Animals!?"
Proff:" Thats right, Animals in desperate need of rescue. You see Vergon 6 was once filled with the super dence substance known as dark matter, each pound of which weighed over 10 thousand pounds"
Leela:" Wait, what aout the Animals?"
Proff:" Well dark matter is extreamly valuabal as starship fuel, thats why it was all minned out, leaving the planet completely hollow"
Leela:" Yes, but what aout the Animals?"
Proff:" Idawha?"
Leela:" The Animals!"
Proff:" I didn't say anything about Animals. Now it seems the planet will collaps within three days, incidentally, this will kill all the Animals"

Me and my brother love the "Animals" bit.
Apogee

Delivery Boy
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« Reply #11 on: 05-22-2002 21:06 »

all I can say: "I'm already in my pyjamas"  smile
Heliotrope

Crustacean
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« Reply #12 on: 05-23-2002 06:59 »

Proff:" Yes, that sequence of words i said made perfect sense"
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #13 on: 05-23-2002 10:01 »

The spear he made in "Mother's Day". It's a stone tied to a stick, yet this brilliant scientist and memeber of the inventors "something" fails miserably.
bartman

Starship Captain
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« Reply #14 on: 05-23-2002 11:32 »

when he tried to steal leelas organs in aoi2
Heliotrope

Crustacean
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« Reply #15 on: 05-23-2002 12:35 »
« Last Edit on: 05-23-2002 12:35 »

I don't know wheather this counts, but he did sound a little mad while saying it:

Proff:" Oh i always feared he might run off like this, why! why! why didn't i break his legs!?"
Mike!

Bending Unit
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« Reply #16 on: 05-23-2002 12:38 »

How about...

Prof: Zoidberg!  There's a lovely picture of you in here! (Raging Bender)

And from 'Mothers Day':
Mom: You broke my heart, Hubert.
Prof: And you broke mine.  Granted, that was four or five hearts ago...

My favourite from that episode:
Prof: She was my first love.. Or at least the earliest one I can remember..   laff
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #17 on: 05-23-2002 12:54 »

A lot of these aren't moments of senility, they're moments of evil/mad scientist.
Apogee

Delivery Boy
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« Reply #18 on: 05-24-2002 20:00 »

close to each other in this case!
[... the professor makes his inventions while he's dreaming]
Nixorbo

UberMod
DOOP Secretary
*
« Reply #19 on: 05-25-2002 01:27 »

Now the whole Inventor's Guild sequence, that was senility, plain and simple.

Wernstrom: I hope it's better than that rediculous Death Clock you came up with last year.
Farnsworth: Err, did it put you young whippersnappers in your place?

::Later::

Farnsworth: Good news everyone!
Leela: Did you finish your Smell-o-scope?
F: No, I made it last year and forgot about it

Not exactly right, but our resident Quote Nazi seems to have been slacking off on the job.
Mike!

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #20 on: 05-25-2002 04:00 »

Also from that episode, the Professor's idea for a new invention:

"Maybe some sort of death clock.."  smile
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