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Author Topic: How would you kill Cubert Farnsworth?  (Read 9116 times)
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PEE Poll: How would you kill Cubert Farnsworth?
Disembowel him with a Robo-Rooter   -5 (3.3%)
I love Cubert, and would never harm him   -8 (5.3%)
Ditch him into a black hole   -23 (15.1%)
Create another clone, and have a death-battle   -23 (15.1%)
Set the Robot Mafia onto him   -5 (3.3%)
Feed him to H. G. Blob   -10 (6.6%)
Drop a piano on him   -5 (3.3%)
Tie him to the ships engines for a 3-hour trip   -20 (13.2%)
Force Amy to kill him with snu-snu   -17 (11.2%)
Other (please state)   -36 (23.7%)
Total Voters: 152

Teesside Inc

Bending Unit
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« Reply #80 on: 12-04-2001 11:04 »
« Last Edit on: 12-17-2001 00:00 »

Make Amy and Leela take him down to a wine bar on his 25 birthday. He would die on aicohol poisoning.  eek
Tweek

UberMod
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« Reply #81 on: 12-04-2001 11:13 »

But that means letting him live until his 25th  no no  tongue
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
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« Reply #82 on: 12-04-2001 16:37 »

And letting him die drunk, with a bottle in his hand is just too friendly.

But Leela  love should have some part in his horrible death.  evil laugh Thoose remarks he made at her in "A Clone of my Own" was totally uncalled for. That little bedwetting bastard. Nobody, I mean NOBODY, makes fun of Leela and gets away with it. Maybe she could use Cubert for batting practice, before a blernsball-match. Now that would be must-see-tv.  big grin
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
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« Reply #83 on: 12-04-2001 17:37 »

Well, so far the 3-hour trip on the PE ships' engines has the lead. If some more people would vote, maybe we could send the page to Mr. Groening & co. as a sort of petition...
AstroZombie

Bending Unit
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« Reply #84 on: 12-05-2001 16:31 »

Teral's right, he made fun of Leela, he must suffer the consequences

How about we stick a starving rat up his ass and let it eat its way out?

or we take the little bastard out into a desert and knee cap him leaving him to die a slow, thirsty death,

Or we could just set him on fire.

 smile

Kryten

Space Pope
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« Reply #85 on: 12-05-2001 16:36 »

I say we staple a flagpole to his butt and mail him to Afghanistan.
AstroZombie

Bending Unit
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« Reply #86 on: 12-05-2001 16:49 »

Uh why a flag pole?
Nixorbo

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« Reply #87 on: 12-05-2001 16:50 »

Give him sonic diarrhea
AstroZombie

Bending Unit
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« Reply #88 on: 12-05-2001 16:50 »

Why not a crazed lion?
nasteve

Bending Unit
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« Reply #89 on: 12-05-2001 17:08 »

Very very bad way to go:

Stuff him into a Rangers shirt and then ditch him in the east end of Glasgow  smile

That should solve the problem in about...30seconds
Teral

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« Reply #90 on: 12-05-2001 17:09 »

We could call Moe and tell him it is Cubert who have made all thoose prank calls to his tavern. Moe does have some very interesting (to say the least) ideas about killing someone slowly and painful.
Tweek

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« Reply #91 on: 12-06-2001 05:11 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by nasteve:
Very very bad way to go:

Stuff him into a Rangers shirt and then ditch him in the east end of Glasgow   smile

That should solve the problem in about...30seconds
I can believe that, my aunt moved to Ayr and was told it wasn't a good idea to wear her green and white hooped jumper there, I guess Ayr is a Rangers supporting town  tongue


AstroZombie

Bending Unit
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« Reply #92 on: 12-06-2001 14:01 »

[Moe] I'm gonna stick sausages down your throat and stuff starving dogs up your butt [/Moe]

rach_the_tall

Space Pope
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« Reply #93 on: 12-07-2001 08:56 »

I need that laughing smiley again!
totalnerd undercanada

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« Reply #94 on: 12-10-2001 18:35 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by AstroZombie:
[Moe] I'm gonna stick sausages down your throat and stuff starving dogs up your butt [/Moe]

Got any Moe of those that we could try?   big grin

We could always glue Nibblers feeding dish to his ass, if Nibbler recognises it at all, he'ss probably swallow the little puke whole, and regurgitate the dish!   cool   puke

3fingercharlie
Crustacean
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« Reply #95 on: 12-13-2001 18:18 »

Drop a piano on him, the little squirt!
*Gets out the yellow pages*
Where would I find a Baby Grand?
Nurdbot

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« Reply #96 on: 12-14-2001 05:54 »

Oh Infect the little S.O.B With 'The Noisy Killer'
AstroZombie

Bending Unit
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« Reply #97 on: 12-16-2001 09:39 »

[moe] I'm gonna cut off the top of your head and paint my walls with your brains[/moe]
The Zapper

Crustacean
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« Reply #98 on: 12-16-2001 10:23 »
« Last Edit on: 12-16-2001 10:23 »

I wouldn't kill him directly.
i was thinking of travelling back in time and feeding baby cubert in his first tube with some somatotrophic hormones so he'd be crushed in the tube.     big grin

somebody got more ideas?
maybe programming a recursive error in his DNA to kill him before he opens his mouth for the first time to speak his stupid words.

greetings
a lonely captain on his heart-shaped, pink bed
with some champagne
Chump

Urban Legend
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« Reply #99 on: 12-16-2001 12:01 »
« Last Edit on: 12-16-2001 12:01 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by Nurdbot:
Oh Infect the little S.O.B With 'The Noisy Killer'
You mean electro-gohnorrea?  puke

Welcome to PEEL Zapper.
Cham-pag-en?
meisterPOOP

Professor
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« Reply #100 on: 12-16-2001 15:23 »
« Last Edit on: 12-16-2001 15:23 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by AstroZombie:
[moe] I'm gonna cut off the top of your head and paint my walls with your brains[/moe]
I've got a cousin who is an international specialist at Sloan-Kettering with whom I need to consult on this procedure.
*Sob* I feel like a female umpire in Montreal's Olympic Stadium not in Seattle as I originally thought.


Teral

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« Reply #101 on: 12-16-2001 18:53 »

How about letting him visit Atlanta for a couple of months. When he returns to the surface, his body will explode (like that 007 movie from a couple of years back, can't remember the title right now).
Chump

Urban Legend
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« Reply #102 on: 12-16-2001 19:55 »

Oooh good one Teral. The Bends. A term which refers to the gathering of nitrogen (or some other -gen i forget) bubbles forming in the brain due to quick changes of pressure.
wu_konguk

Urban Legend
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« Reply #103 on: 12-17-2001 04:57 »

Well maybe not kill but put him thuough the torture like Promethius went through, basically animals ripped his cheast a part and ate his orguns but he would live they would grow back and the who process would start again.
Just Chris

Urban Legend
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« Reply #104 on: 12-20-2001 12:13 »

I'd throw him into a black hole, a la this cheesy DBZ movie. Cubert would get immortal life with the help of Dr. Farnsworth's research, and then the crew can launch him off into a black hole. It ain't exactly death, but it's the ultimate torture trapping him alive into a vast dark void for all eternity!!!
Kryten

Space Pope
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« Reply #105 on: 12-20-2001 13:22 »

An oldie but goodie: Sonic diarrhea.

B.Frankendorfer

Bending Unit
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« Reply #106 on: 12-27-2001 17:22 »

May I ask, why does everyone hate Cubert?  I thought he was a funny character.

         
meisterPOOP

Professor
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« Reply #107 on: 12-27-2001 17:54 »

It is so obvious...How where did he come from and how did he get THAT office...Everytime he opens his mouth he diminishes the sphere...Not that it needs dimishing...Funny, in my experience I'd start hearing people speaking a whole new language.
Teral

Helpy McHelphelp
DOOP Secretary
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« Reply #108 on: 12-27-2001 18:23 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by B.Frankendorfer:
May I ask, why does everyone hate Cubert?  I thought he was a funny character.


We hate Cubert because he's a little bedwetting idiot, has an annoying voice, a hideous laugh, ridicules our heroes, hurt their feelings, nitpicks, is a pessimist etc. He's the Wesley Crusher of Futurama, 'nough said.

Oh, I almost forgot, his biggest crime ever: HE MADE FUN OF LEELA!! Nobody, I mean NOBODY, does that, and lives to tell the tale (great scene in AOI I: click, schwiiiing, stab evil laugh )

If he isn't killed off in a future episode, I'll make it my mission in life to hunt him down and kill him in the most horrible way possible: a slow descent into a black hole  evil laugh

I should what? Calm down? Heyyy, what do you need that straitjacket for? I got it under control. I'm telling you: I got it under control!! Get your hands off me, stop that, help!!! Get that needle away from me!! Get that..ouch! I'll kill you for that, I'll..k-k-k-kiiill......yooooouuuu.............

Don't confuse not caring with not knowing!
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
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« Reply #109 on: 12-30-2001 20:01 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by B.Frankendorfer:
May I ask, why does everyone hate Cubert?  I thought he was a funny character.


Cubert is hated because he is CRAP. He's the embodiment of all that is obnoxious and annoying and smarmy smug sm... erm, anyone got another word beginning in sm?

I did like the one Cubert line tho'

The illusion is so perfect I almost forgot I was looking at a complete idiot!

That was it tho. Nothing else.

Teral

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« Reply #110 on: 12-30-2001 20:09 »

smartypant?
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
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« Reply #111 on: 12-30-2001 20:13 »

That one will do. Thanks Teral.
Shadowstar

Liquid Emperor
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« Reply #112 on: 12-30-2001 20:15 »

Take him to Moe claiming he's the prank caller. He'll find something to do with him. Heh heh heh...
Shadowstar

Liquid Emperor
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« Reply #113 on: 12-30-2001 20:20 »

Damn, Teral had that idea already! Aw, I'm un-original...

And now on an unrelated note...
Homer: 239 pounds! Awww, I'm a blimp!
B.Frankendorfer

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #114 on: 12-31-2001 20:09 »

I guess you guys on't like the Comic Book Guy on The Simpsons then either, eh?
Teral

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« Reply #115 on: 01-01-2002 16:52 »

Au contraire, we love the Comic Book Guy. Well, I do. (No not THAT way)
Shadowstar

Liquid Emperor
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« Reply #116 on: 01-01-2002 16:54 »

The CBG is the best character on the Simpsons. Cubert and CBG may have some similar interests, but CBG is actually funny. I have and am playing with the playset and figure right now.
CBG: Oh a sarcasum detector... oh that's a real useful invention!
HA!

"Rosebud... Yes, Rosebud frozen peas. Full of country goodness and green pea-ness. ...wait, that's terrible. I quit! ...just a handful for the road. ...oh, what luck. There's a french fry stuck in my beard."
 - Orson Welles, "The Critic"

I want to be a meandering busybody
Nixorbo

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« Reply #117 on: 01-01-2002 20:38 »

I voted for the Robot Mafia.  Just to give everyone a vote.
M. Proctor

Starship Captain
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« Reply #118 on: 01-02-2002 09:50 »

I would personally order a piano, stand on my house, and drop it right on his ugly little head!
Otis P Jivefunk

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« Reply #119 on: 01-02-2002 15:31 »

When Cuberts character developes more in the future I'm sure he won't be so bad after all.
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