How would you kill Cubert Farnsworth?

[Reply #80 on:]

Make Amy and Leela take him down to a wine bar on his 25 birthday. He would die on aicohol poisoning. 

[Reply #81 on:]

But that means letting him live until his 25th   

[Reply #82 on:]

And letting him die drunk, with a bottle in his hand is just too friendly.

But Leela  should have some part in his horrible death.  Thoose remarks he made at her in "A Clone of my Own" was totally uncalled for. That little bedwetting bastard. Nobody, I mean NOBODY, makes fun of Leela and gets away with it. Maybe she could use Cubert for batting practice, before a blernsball-match. Now that would be must-see-tv. 

[Reply #83 on:]

Well, so far the 3-hour trip on the PE ships' engines has the lead. If some more people would vote, maybe we could send the page to Mr. Groening & co. as a sort of petition...

[Reply #84 on:]

Teral's right, he made fun of Leela, he must suffer the consequences

How about we stick a starving rat up his ass and let it eat its way out?

or we take the little bastard out into a desert and knee cap him leaving him to die a slow, thirsty death,

Or we could just set him on fire.

 

[Reply #85 on:]

I say we staple a flagpole to his butt and mail him to Afghanistan.

[Reply #86 on:]

Uh why a flag pole?

[Reply #87 on:]

Give him sonic diarrhea

[Reply #88 on:]

Why not a crazed lion?

[Reply #89 on:]

Very very bad way to go:

Stuff him into a Rangers shirt and then ditch him in the east end of Glasgow 

That should solve the problem in about...30seconds

[Reply #90 on:]

We could call Moe and tell him it is Cubert who have made all thoose prank calls to his tavern. Moe does have some very interesting (to say the least) ideas about killing someone slowly and painful.

[Reply #91 on:]

 

Originally posted by nasteve:
Very very bad way to go:

Stuff him into a Rangers shirt and then ditch him in the east end of Glasgow   

That should solve the problem in about...30seconds

I can believe that, my aunt moved to Ayr and was told it wasn't a good idea to wear her green and white hooped jumper there, I guess Ayr is a Rangers supporting town 

[Reply #92 on:]

[Moe] I'm gonna stick sausages down your throat and stuff starving dogs up your butt [/Moe]

[Reply #93 on:]

I need that laughing smiley again!

[Reply #94 on:]

 

Originally posted by AstroZombie:
[Moe] I'm gonna stick sausages down your throat and stuff starving dogs up your butt [/Moe]

Got any Moe of those that we could try?   

We could always glue Nibblers feeding dish to his ass, if Nibbler recognises it at all, he'ss probably swallow the little puke whole, and regurgitate the dish!      

[Reply #95 on:]

Drop a piano on him, the little squirt!
*Gets out the yellow pages*
Where would I find a Baby Grand?

[Reply #96 on:]

Oh Infect the little S.O.B With 'The Noisy Killer'

[Reply #97 on:]

[moe] I'm gonna cut off the top of your head and paint my walls with your brains[/moe]

[Reply #98 on:]

I wouldn't kill him directly.
i was thinking of travelling back in time and feeding baby cubert in his first tube with some somatotrophic hormones so he'd be crushed in the tube.     

somebody got more ideas?
maybe programming a recursive error in his DNA to kill him before he opens his mouth for the first time to speak his stupid words.

greetings
a lonely captain on his heart-shaped, pink bed
with some champagne

[Reply #99 on:]

 

Originally posted by Nurdbot:
Oh Infect the little S.O.B With 'The Noisy Killer'

You mean electro-gohnorrea? 

Welcome to PEEL Zapper.
Cham-pag-en?

[Reply #100 on:]

 

Originally posted by AstroZombie:
[moe] I'm gonna cut off the top of your head and paint my walls with your brains[/moe]

I've got a cousin who is an international specialist at Sloan-Kettering with whom I need to consult on this procedure.
*Sob* I feel like a female umpire in Montreal's Olympic Stadium not in Seattle as I originally thought.

[Reply #101 on:]

How about letting him visit Atlanta for a couple of months. When he returns to the surface, his body will explode (like that 007 movie from a couple of years back, can't remember the title right now).

[Reply #102 on:]

Oooh good one Teral. The Bends. A term which refers to the gathering of nitrogen (or some other -gen i forget) bubbles forming in the brain due to quick changes of pressure.

[Reply #103 on:]

Well maybe not kill but put him thuough the torture like Promethius went through, basically animals ripped his cheast a part and ate his orguns but he would live they would grow back and the who process would start again.

[Reply #104 on:]

I'd throw him into a black hole, a la this cheesy DBZ movie. Cubert would get immortal life with the help of Dr. Farnsworth's research, and then the crew can launch him off into a black hole. It ain't exactly death, but it's the ultimate torture trapping him alive into a vast dark void for all eternity!!!

[Reply #105 on:]

An oldie but goodie: Sonic diarrhea.

[Reply #106 on:]

May I ask, why does everyone hate Cubert?  I thought he was a funny character.

[Reply #107 on:]

It is so obvious...How where did he come from and how did he get THAT office...Everytime he opens his mouth he diminishes the sphere...Not that it needs dimishing...Funny, in my experience I'd start hearing people speaking a whole new language.

[Reply #108 on:]

 

Originally posted by B.Frankendorfer:
May I ask, why does everyone hate Cubert?  I thought he was a funny character.

We hate Cubert because he's a little bedwetting idiot, has an annoying voice, a hideous laugh, ridicules our heroes, hurt their feelings, nitpicks, is a pessimist etc. He's the Wesley Crusher of Futurama, 'nough said.

Oh, I almost forgot, his biggest crime ever: HE MADE FUN OF LEELA!! Nobody, I mean NOBODY, does that, and lives to tell the tale (great scene in AOI I: click, schwiiiing, stab )

If he isn't killed off in a future episode, I'll make it my mission in life to hunt him down and kill him in the most horrible way possible: a slow descent into a black hole 

I should what? Calm down? Heyyy, what do you need that straitjacket for? I got it under control. I'm telling you: I got it under control!! Get your hands off me, stop that, help!!! Get that needle away from me!! Get that..ouch! I'll kill you for that, I'll..k-k-k-kiiill......yooooouuuu.............

[Reply #109 on:]

 

Originally posted by B.Frankendorfer:
May I ask, why does everyone hate Cubert?  I thought he was a funny character.

Cubert is hated because he is CRAP. He's the embodiment of all that is obnoxious and annoying and smarmy smug sm... erm, anyone got another word beginning in sm?

I did like the one Cubert line tho'

The illusion is so perfect I almost forgot I was looking at a complete idiot!

That was it tho. Nothing else.

[Reply #110 on:]

smartypant?

[Reply #111 on:]

That one will do. Thanks Teral.

[Reply #112 on:]

Take him to Moe claiming he's the prank caller. He'll find something to do with him. Heh heh heh...

[Reply #113 on:]

Damn, Teral had that idea already! Aw, I'm un-original...

And now on an unrelated note...
Homer: 239 pounds! Awww, I'm a blimp!

[Reply #114 on:]

I guess you guys on't like the Comic Book Guy on The Simpsons then either, eh?

[Reply #115 on:]

Au contraire, we love the Comic Book Guy. Well, I do. (No not THAT way)

[Reply #116 on:]

The CBG is the best character on the Simpsons. Cubert and CBG may have some similar interests, but CBG is actually funny. I have and am playing with the playset and figure right now.
CBG: Oh a sarcasum detector... oh that's a real useful invention!
HA!

[Reply #117 on:]

I voted for the Robot Mafia.  Just to give everyone a vote.

[Reply #118 on:]

I would personally order a piano, stand on my house, and drop it right on his ugly little head!

[Reply #119 on:]

When Cuberts character developes more in the future I'm sure he won't be so bad after all.