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Author Topic: How would you kill Cubert Farnsworth?  (Read 9927 times)
Pages: 1 ... 5 6 7 [8] 9 10 11 ... 19 Print
PEE Poll: How would you kill Cubert Farnsworth?
Disembowel him with a Robo-Rooter   -5 (3.3%)
I love Cubert, and would never harm him   -8 (5.3%)
Ditch him into a black hole   -23 (15.1%)
Create another clone, and have a death-battle   -23 (15.1%)
Set the Robot Mafia onto him   -5 (3.3%)
Feed him to H. G. Blob   -10 (6.6%)
Drop a piano on him   -5 (3.3%)
Tie him to the ships engines for a 3-hour trip   -20 (13.2%)
Force Amy to kill him with snu-snu   -17 (11.2%)
Other (please state)   -36 (23.7%)
Total Voters: 152

Juutje2111

Bending Unit
***
« Reply #280 on: 12-22-2006 19:41 »

This would be truly satisfying, cause he's so annoying! I would burn him alive, easy, simple and extremely painful. If I wouldn't be filled with joy, I would rescue him at the last moment, let him beg for his life. Then either set him on fire again or electrify him... I would also have some animal bite him, eat little bits of his body. That would be a nice death for this horrible little brat.
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #281 on: 12-22-2006 19:45 »

That's the spirt I'm not the only one gone postal.
Decapodian

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #282 on: 12-22-2006 21:01 »

How can you run someone over with a snow blower?
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #283 on: 12-22-2006 21:08 »

Well out here in Canada we have snow blowers with blades on them so if you get got in one you will get torn limb from limb.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #284 on: 12-23-2006 16:59 »

Sounds interesting, tell me more...
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #285 on: 12-23-2006 17:05 »

That's about it... Also while I'm killing Cubert I would play Singing In The Rain this is probably because I watched A Clockwork Orange for the first time last night.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #286 on: 12-23-2006 17:32 »

I'd play LORDI or something such
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #287 on: 12-23-2006 17:41 »

I'd bury him alive and give him a gun with one bullet in it... If he somehow escapes I would hallow him out and turn him into a jack-o-lantern. What would I do with the guts? I would feed them to Zoidberg of course.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #288 on: 12-23-2006 17:44 »

Poor Zoidy, ever he doesn't deserve that...Cubert would taste horrible
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #289 on: 12-23-2006 17:49 »

I heard smart ass nerds taste good.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #290 on: 12-23-2006 17:51 »

Nah, they're really bland and tasteless, you want someone with a bit of kick
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #291 on: 12-23-2006 17:58 »

Like deep fried Hermes.

Back on topic you can't beat the classics a nail in a board to the head will kill you good.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #292 on: 12-23-2006 18:02 »

Or forcing him to climb through a web of razor blades so he has a chance to escape, but he won't do...hehe
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #293 on: 12-23-2006 18:07 »

*cough* Saw *cough*

Put him on a table and slowly rip every limb off with ropes. But before that I would cut off all his fingers and toes with a box cutter.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #294 on: 12-23-2006 18:08 »

Rip his tougue out and show it to him, then slowly twist his neck round while he trys to scream, and keep going till his neck snaps
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #295 on: 12-23-2006 18:11 »

Futurama fans are pretty sadistic...

I would rip his head off with my bare hands and eat his brain through his eyes.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #296 on: 12-23-2006 18:15 »

Slowly stick a sharp stick through his ears then saw his head open and have a kebab
Sal

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #297 on: 12-23-2006 18:16 »
« Last Edit on: 12-23-2006 18:16 »

I would put him in a really dangerous situation, involving lions (or something). Then save him, really heroically! While hes overwhelmed with gratitude and thanking me, I'd hit him in the head with a crowbar, pop.

Take it when its sweetest, that's my style    wink
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #298 on: 12-23-2006 18:19 »

But then he doesn't suffer so much...
Sal

Starship Captain
****
« Reply #299 on: 12-23-2006 18:24 »

Oh but he does, because it takes a while to be beaten to death with a crowbar, and its happening when his life is at its richest.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #300 on: 12-23-2006 18:26 »

Not if you hit him in the head first, beat him in the gut for a while then go for the head, it'd be much more satifying  wink
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #301 on: 12-23-2006 18:27 »

I still think being a cannibal is your most satisfying kill.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #302 on: 12-23-2006 18:29 »

Yeah, its much more personal, having something of the person you kill inside you. But then we are stuck with, do we cook him or eat him raw?
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #303 on: 12-23-2006 18:35 »
« Last Edit on: 12-23-2006 18:35 »

Whatever floats your boat let's look at the pros and cons:

Pros for cooking: There's nothing like the sweet smell of nerd for your supper hey we can even put an apple in his mouth.

Con for cooking: It takes so much longer to cook him but if you eat him raw you can still feel the blood in his veins

Pro for raw:If you eat him raw you can still feel the blood in his veins.

Cons for raw: When you eat Cubert raw it might make you sick and it doesn't taste as good.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #304 on: 12-23-2006 18:37 »

So we cook him, bake him or boil?
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #305 on: 12-23-2006 18:38 »

IMO cook is the best way to go.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #306 on: 12-23-2006 18:39 »

Okay then, I call dibsy on the brain
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #307 on: 12-23-2006 18:42 »

Shit, okay...then I call dibs on the intestines. The how to kill Cubert thread turned into a cooking show pretty quick so back on topic.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #308 on: 12-23-2006 18:44 »

Right, boil him alive and listen to him scream!
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #309 on: 12-23-2006 18:49 »

Just like a lobster... But this lobster will be able to cry. evil laugh
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #310 on: 12-23-2006 18:56 »

Lobsters can scream, but Cubert will scream louder
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #311 on: 12-23-2006 19:44 »

What about taking batteries breaking them open and pouring the acid on Cubert's face if he survives then stab him in the eye quick and oh so satisfying.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #312 on: 12-24-2006 05:19 »

I think that could be quite enjoyable...or we could shove a stick or two of dynamite in him and blow him up.
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #313 on: 12-24-2006 11:20 »

What about sending Cubert out in a forest and gathering a few friends and we'll have a hunt!
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #314 on: 12-24-2006 13:36 »

Oh, now thats an idea, turning killing Cubert into a sport. Forget big game hunting, this is big nerd brat hunting
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #315 on: 12-24-2006 14:28 »

We can sell it to Fox... Or use it as a Futurama Halloween episode.
jle1993

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #316 on: 12-24-2006 15:34 »

So we make money too! You have some great ideas ya know!
KitKatBar-Fry

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #317 on: 12-24-2006 17:50 »

I'd stick his fat little head between two logs, pull a lever, then squeeze slowly...soooo slowly...Watch as he screama before the final seams in his head twist apart, unleashing the contents within. I will chuckle, giggle to myself during those last few seconds of his life...And it will seem like all the time in the world two him! HAHAHAHA!
....Eh,kinda turned that into a story. And just went evil there. I really hate the buggar, though.
totalnerd undercanada

DOOP Ubersecretary
**
« Reply #318 on: 12-24-2006 19:42 »

Poor Cubert. Yes, he's annoying, but in the future, he could be something useful, like a prison guard, or a teacher's aide, or a science-fiction cartoon-writer!

I think now that I have had time to reflect upon it, that our hatred of Cubert is unjustified. I'd love to see more of Cubert - preferably being humiliated by Fry, or beaten up by Leela (it's not as though I like him) but not killed. No, not killed. If he was killed, then ho would we savour his tears as Bender forces him into service as a child prostitute to the stars?
MrBlonde

Liquid Emperor
**
« Reply #319 on: 12-25-2006 19:52 »

 
Quote
Originally posted by jle1993:
So we make money too! You have some great ideas ya know!

The first compliment I got on this website and it was that I'm good at being a sick twisted person...

Well back at what I'm good at I'm going to take Cubert's organs and wash my car with them and I would use his inside-out body as a rug in my living area.  evil laugh
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