Futurama Cuts UK - little help?

[on:]

Hi. Since I know a few of you have seen my site, www.geocities.com/futurama_cuts  , and are interested in the UK cuts, I wondered if you could help with a few of them that I'm not sure about?
Since there's a multi-national community here, many of you will see episodes uncut. The ones I'm interested in are in season 2:


1. I SECOND THAT EMOTION www.geocities.com/futurama_cuts/ISTE
- When Bender is jealous of Nibbler's popularity with the others, he goes to bake a cake for Nibbler's birthday.
On both C4 and Sky One, he is shown evilly saying "I'll bake a cake you'll never forget", then in the cupboard getting rat poison... which is for the rats, not the cake. But in between those, did he say "I'll teach those bastards!", or words to that effect? A few years ago on Sky One, before the censorship began, I think I remember him saying that, but it isn't on either Channel 4's version, or Sky's (Sky often cut that word out).


4. XMAS STORY
- There may be loads I missed in this episode, so try to tell me anything you thought was suspicious. But there was definitely a cut here:

During the ski trip at the start of the episode:
SKI INSTRUCTOR: "Excuse me sir (Bender), you're skiing off the trail."
BENDER: "?????? Ha ha ha, ha ha ha...[goes over the edge of the cliff]"

What was the ????????

(to be continued, when I'm less tired)

[Reply #1 on:]

First of all, welcome to PEEL, Stuart. Enjoy it here. 

Secondly, let's see if we can help you with your questions.

 

Originally posted by Stuart:
Hi. Since I know a few of you have seen my site, www.geocities.com/futurama_cuts  , and are interested in the UK cuts, I wondered if you could help with a few of them that I'm not sure about?
Since there's a multi-national community here, many of you will see episodes uncut. The ones I'm interested in are in season 2:


1. I SECOND THAT EMOTION www.geocities.com/futurama_cuts/ISTE
- When Bender is jealous of Nibbler's popularity with the others, he goes to bake a cake for Nibbler's birthday.
On both C4 and Sky One, he is shown evilly saying "I'll bake a cake you'll never forget", then in the cupboard getting rat poison... which is for the rats, not the cake. But in between those, did he say "I'll teach those bastards!", or words to that effect? A few years ago on Sky One, before the censorship began, I think I remember him saying that, but it isn't on either Channel 4's version, or Sky's (Sky often cut that word out).

No, Bender didn't say anything between those scenes. It cut's directly from the "I'll bake you a cake you'll never forget" scene to Bender grapping for the rat poison. He pours the poison in fornt of a rat hole, and say "That'll take care of those filthy rats". 

Later however, when the cake is finished he say "There, this'll teach those filthy bastards who's lovable".

 

4. XMAS STORY
- There may be loads I missed in this episode, so try to tell me anything you thought was suspicious. But there was definitely a cut here:

During the ski trip at the start of the episode:
SKI INSTRUCTOR: "Excuse me sir (Bender), you're skiing off the trail."
BENDER: "?????? Ha ha ha, ha ha ha...[goes over the edge of the cliff]"

What was the ????????

"Lick my frozen metal ass!!"

[Reply #2 on:]

If those kinds of words are bleeped or whatever, on "A Clone of My Own" the professor's hologram says (on Bender) "But little does he know I taped over his soap operas to record this". Bender then yells: "YOU BASTARD".

[Reply #3 on:]

Wait, I'm going through your list and reporting as I come to them. In PYHOMS, you have it correct in your possible quote, Bender does say "My Ass!".

In When Aliens Attack, the aliens start blowing things up and they get into the hover car and race back to the office, basically chased by flying sausers.

Also in WAA, Lrr says: You are not McNeil, she wears tight skirts and "is promisquous" (spelling wrong there no doubt). I don't think Zapp says anything to that besides Really... but then the president thanks the aliens and he is killed, so that might have been wiped.

In A Clone of My Own, Leela says: I can't "you bastard"! Nobody knows how, its impossible.

In The Deep South, Hermes does call Nibbler "a little bastard".

Mothers day, mom does say: Conquer earth you bastards! and the robots reply: Conquer earth us bastards!

Thats all I could see man... hope that was of some help.

[Reply #4 on:]

A great help! Thanks a lot! I'll credit your names where the quotes are on the site.

[Reply #5 on:]

Here's one from When Aliens Attack ( www.geocities.com/futurama_cuts/WAA ):

President McNeal has just introduced Zap Brannigan, who'll head Earth's defence mission against the aliens, to the Congress building

(we see PX watching this on TV, but Fry still applauds Brannigan and Leela groans)

Bender - "Hey Leela, ???? ???? (referring to that 'previous encounter')"
Leela - "The Earth is under attack. Can't we just forget about that?"
Bender - "Evidently not..."

Any takers?

[Reply #6 on:]

I remember in "When Aliens Attack" on C4, Zoidberg says to Leela "Where were you on the night of blah blah blah?" and it jumps straight to Leela leafing through the script saying "Getting back to the uh..." It misses out the whole "Sleeping with you!" "A ha!" Then the bit where Zoidberg eats Leela's false eye.

[Reply #7 on:]

On  http://www.geocities.com/futurama_cuts/WMIBACIL2  They chant claw-plach (or however you spell the name of the event).
And surf and turf is Fish and Meat (Surf=Fish, Turf=Beef, gettit?). Although it's used to mean something else (more 'sensual') in the episode.

EDIT: PYHOMS- Corrected quote.
Fry     And it led to another there again when we got back!

[Reply #8 on:]

 

Originally posted by Stuart:
Here's one from When Aliens Attack (www.geocities.com/futurama_cuts/WAA):

President McNeal has just introduced Zap Brannigan, who'll head Earth's defence mission against the aliens, to the Congress building

(we see PX watching this on TV, but Fry still applauds Brannigan and Leela groans)

Bender - "Hey Leela, ???? ???? (referring to that 'previous encounter')"
Leela - "The Earth is under attack. Can't we just forget about that?"
Bender - "Evidently not..."

Any takers?

"Hey look Leela, it's that idiotic windbag you slept with."

[Reply #9 on:]

I just read through your site and it's amazing what those censors cut out. Makes me glad Danish TV don't censor things.

Just one thing, in "Lesser Of Two Evils":
After "bog off!" some one in an Indian-sounding accent says "Get off, bastard-man".

[Reply #10 on:]

Thanks for your help Teral, and the rest of you too. There might actually be a lot more cutting  that I didn't notice, because both channels that I watch Futurama on (Sky & C4) cut things out. Basically, if a line contains the word 'ass', 'sex', 'crap' etc etc it's more than likely to be cut out (but not always).

It's a shame this happens, and I hope, despite this, you don't think that Britain's a country full of old-fashioned posh people who would be offended by the slightest little thing, because we aren't. Just the censors (and the Queen) are.

[Reply #11 on:]

   

Originally posted by Stuart:
It's a shame this happens, and I hope, despite this, you don't think that Britain's a country full of old-fashioned posh people who would be offended by the slightest little thing, because we aren't. Just the censors (and the Queen) are.

Don't worry, thanks to all the British PEEL'ers here (and Monty Python), I've learned that long time ago.

[Reply #12 on:]

I'm British and know the lengths that C4 cut episodes and i think most people realise that it's just C4 and not the British in general.

What are the American sensorship laws and how is it done? I know C4 show it earlier then America, thus the reason, but how bacdly would Americans cut it?

[Reply #13 on:]

I just had a thought - what if the censors are paid on a pay-per-cut basis? (e.g. 1 minute cut = £1 million).
That WOULD explain the pointless cuts, like the word 'hooker', which is a position in rugby isn't it?

[Reply #14 on:]

A hooker is a person who has sex with others for money, also known as a prostitute, whore, slut, etc.

[Reply #15 on:]

I knew that.

[Reply #16 on:]

 

Originally posted by Stuart:
Basically, if a line contains the word 'ass', 'sex', 'crap' etc etc it's more than likely to be cut out (but not always).

Are you sayng that they cut out "Bite my shiny metal ass!"?  Nooooooooo!  That's like the show's greatest catch phrase!

[Reply #17 on:]

The only censoring I agree on is of the word "Bastard". But only because it's what BBC2 do with The Simpsons - the BBC censors didn't even cut out "pissed" and I thought they would!

What really annoys me is that Channel 4 even edited the way the dude made love to the pie in American Pie!!

[Reply #18 on:]

BTW, there's a petition you can sign that wants C4 to stop censoring Futurama, and put it on at a later time if necessary: http://www.petitiononline.com/aaron1/petition.html
I know it won't make any difference, since about 80% of the world's population have signed the one that wants to save Futurama on Fox and it didn't work,  but the more signatures it gets, hopefully the more C4 will notice.

[Reply #19 on:]

Great site BTW. Will you be adding Season 3 cuts if and when they get shown on C4?

[Reply #20 on:]

Futurama S3 = 18th September 6:30pm I do believe....

[Reply #21 on:]

<Archie2k> Will you be adding Season 3 cuts if and when they get shown on C4?
----
Indeed I shall. (although you might have to give me a couple of days on each one) If any of you noticed things, by all means print them up here too.

[Reply #22 on:]

Which page did you see that said Futurama would be on C4 on the 18th, Impossible?
I know the definitive word on Uk television listings is the Radio Times magazine which comes out tomorrow (Tue 10th Sep), but your source sounds reliable.

[Reply #23 on:]

I got it off a thing I have called DigiGuide...

Here we go:

ANIMATION:  Futurama
Channel: Channel 4
Date: Wednesday 18th September 2002
Time: 18:30 to 19:00 (starting in 8 days)
Duration: 30 minutes.
The Honking. Series 3, episode 1.
Futuristic cartoon comedy. The death of Bender's rich Uncle Vladimir unleashes an evil curse upon the robot
 (New Series, Subtitles)

[Reply #24 on:]

I shudder to think of what they'll do to "War is the H-Word"...

[Reply #25 on:]

I wonder what they will do about snuh-snuh in "Amazon Woman In The Mood".  Is it the very concept of sex, or just that particular wordcombination they're censoring.

And what about the naked conga-line in "Time Keeps On Slippin'?

[Reply #26 on:]

 

Originally posted by Teral:
I wonder what they will do about snuh-snuh in "Amazon Woman In The Mood".  Is it the very concept of sex, or just that particular wordcombination they're censoring.

And what about the naked conga-line in "Time Keeps On Slippin'?

Really snu-snu, since it only refers to something, but does not mention it, they'll be able to leave it in.
The sex scenes, i dunno, perhaps cut to when they are pushed in, drown screams.
Cut the 'The mind is willing but the flesh is spongey and bruised' line, and the end bit 'Yea, we had snu-snu'.
Time Keeps on Slippin', cut the conga line, simple. Oh, leave in Hermes' 'I don't know how this was ever supposed to work' line to confuse us more.

[Reply #27 on:]

Sheesh.  You people with your censors and TV licences.  We'll probably have full nudity in prime-time in a couple of years.

[Reply #28 on:]

I say we kill Channel 4 and take over

[Reply #29 on:]

If you kill Channel 4 how will you take it over?

"Oh my god, his head just exploded"

[Reply #30 on:]

 

Originally posted by M5438:
Sheesh.  You people with your censors and TV licences.  We'll probably have full nudity in prime-time in a couple of years.

We already have that on network TV, just not till after 9pm 

I doubt they'll leave the best line from "Amazom Women in the Mood": I find the most erotic part of a woman to be the boobies 

[Reply #31 on:]

But still at 6:30 they edit the hell out of Futurama?  Weird. 

[Reply #32 on:]

Yea, it's stupid to cut out some things, but some of the snu-snu references could/should be cut.
We have a 9PM (i think) 'watershed' which means that after that, anything can be shown, but before then, as young children may be watching, sexual references, swear words ect. need to be cut, or the ITC will clamp down on C4 even more for broadcasting the references.
Futurama should be shown later (maybe not 9) when the rules aren't quite as strict.

[Reply #33 on:]

          

[Reply #34 on:]

I don't get why any show, espesically a cartoon, that they feel must be edited should get a childviewers timeslot. Do they want child viewers more than adult viewers?

[Reply #35 on:]

I don't actually know but usually kids are watching more tv than they parents, like when they are coming from school and are home alone. I don't also understand why they must cut off such sentense as: lick my frozen metal ass, kiss my ass, or bastard... Kids learn these words way or another so why bother to edit and futurama is focuset for little older spectators. 

[Reply #36 on:]

Futurama just isn't a kids' show, simple as that - but C4 have confused it with one because it's a cartoon and therefore 'must' be a kids' programme.
Most of the really good jokes are fairly unsuitable for 6.30pm, but are made doubly unsuitable by the fact that kids are watching (because although they will learn the words anyway, most parents wouldn't want them picking them up off television).

Futurama in its uncut form is excellent, and would be a great ratings-puller for C4, but they censor it, making it a lot less funny, and show it just before prime-time so it gets lower ratings. They are total idiots.

NOTE - I think Futurama can only be on Channel 4 before 7pm or after 11pm. Comedies like Futurama have never been shown between those times on C4, except for on Fridays which I don't expect will happen, so the choice is either:
overcensored during the daytime, or
uncut in the middle of the night, I'm afraid.

[Reply #37 on:]

 

Originally posted by Stuart

C4 just changed the episode to an old one, then changed the following week's to another old one, then the series ended as planned with 3 episodes unseen (four, if you count Anth. Of Interest 1, which I believe they've never shown - it may even be banned?).

No, they did show it, butchered to death though.

[Reply #38 on:]

I wonder how? They show Leela killing practically everyone else in one mini-episode.

[Reply #39 on:]

Right, off the top of my head...
They cut the prof.'s skeleton after being eaten by the ant-eaters.
They cut all background screams of Hermes while Zoidberg is 'deducing things' which then makes Zoidberg's line confusing. (Silence... 'Hermes quiet' not quite right)
Cut out the scream + 'I really like it' after Leela turns off the light at the end.
I can't remember the scene where Zoidberg works it all out.
----------------

 The semi-official PEEL Webby McHelpHelp

The end is nigh! Click now while you can...