Dear Diary: I made love for the second time!

[on:]

Say what? Isn't that a bit out of character for Amy?

[Reply #1 on:]

I think Kif's just confused as to what making love is.

[Reply #2 on:]

Amy didn't say that, Kif did.

[Reply #3 on:]

 

Originally posted by homerjaysimpson:
Amy didn't say that, Kif did.

I know that. But he implied that he never had sex with Amy, which seems out of character for her.

[Reply #4 on:]

No they did. I think Kif thinks when he kisses and it vibrates, he has made love. Just a confused green weird space alien.

[Reply #5 on:]

probably

[Reply #6 on:]

No duh. It's a joke. Don't you get jokes?

[Reply #7 on:]

Kif's not confused.  After all, the earth moved, didn't it?    Was it good for you, too? 

[Reply #8 on:]

Maybe that actually is how kif's people have sex (through kissing; steals her dna through her mouth or something).  They kissed each other on the mouth twice that episode -- have they kissed on the mouth at any other time in any other episodes?

[Reply #9 on:]

I'm pretty sure they kissed in the Titanic episode. I am shocked that they haven't had sex yet. What is he, gay?

[Reply #10 on:]

They kissed during Amazon Women in the Mood.

[Reply #11 on:]

Yeah the ground has to move during the act of kissing for kif to think he had sex.

It is kinda odd that kif doesn't know what sex really is, considering how he is the lackey for Zapp Brannigan.

[Reply #12 on:]

I'm not surprised that Amy hasn't had sex with Kif yet. I think she's actually in love this time.

[Reply #13 on:]

Hoping to put to rest this whole "Amy-is-a-slut" nonsense, I should point out the first guy we saw her date didn't even have a body. Pretty sure THEY didn't have sex in the traditional sense. If she was a real slut, she would've slept with Zapp Brannigan.

...What?

I miss the original Kif--the sarcastic, bitter, forced-to-be-a-lackey-to-a-jackass Kif. I can't believe it when it happens, but with every episode--outside of rescuing Amy--he seems to be ever more spineless. (Yes, yes, "fluid-filled bladders." You know what I mean.) I'm looking forward to the turnaround moment--the moment Zapp puts the moves on Amy right in front of Kif, and Kif snaps. I mean, snaps Zapp's neck. Or just shoots him, that works too.

Oh yes, they kissed on the Titanic. Best kiss in the series to date! ...and the last time Kif showed some real class. But I think that Kif equates (kiss + earth movement = lovemaking); note "lovemaking" and not "sex," which is the hideous, traumatic, fluid-spewing process that Zapp brags about constantly and which Kif could not participate in when Amy suggested it.

We'll learn more when Amy and Kif have their first bun-in-the-oven...real soon.   

[Reply #14 on:]

"Hoping to put to rest this whole "Amy-is-a-slut" nonsense"
So you`re sayin that Amy isn`t a slut? 

[Reply #15 on:]

 

Originally posted by McGrady:
Maybe that actually is how kif's people have sex (through kissing; steals her dna through her mouth or something).  They kissed each other on the mouth twice that episode -- have they kissed on the mouth at any other time in any other episodes?

Or maybe it's "tongue luck" that constitutes as sex.  But can't you just see the gag now, in "Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch?"

Show spoiler

Kif: Amy, I'm, um [stutters] . . . pregnant.
Amy: What?!?  But all we do is kiss!
Kif: Well, um, you see, [stutters], that's how my species reproduces, with the tongue.

[Reply #16 on:]

Maybe this is not how Kiff's alien kind make love. Remember Kiff with his smoking?

[Reply #17 on:]

Hey, Nixorbo, how the hell did you get that quote?

[Reply #18 on:]

I think he just made it up.

[Reply #19 on:]

He wrote that himself.  It's his idea of what might happen.

[Reply #20 on:]

Wow, I'm so creative, I fool people into thinking I didn't make up a quote!

[Reply #21 on:]

Thats a very clever Idea, and if you didn't make it up, where did you get it?

[Reply #22 on:]

From my mind

[Reply #23 on:]

how can kif not now what sex is?  whasn't he a prostitiute to the old landlady who says kagiger in "branigan begin again"  Or, I could be crazy.

[Reply #24 on:]

Again, as mentioned above by Nixorbo (although nobody believed him at the time   ), Kif's species does not reproduce sexually. Whenever one of his kind falls deeply in love with its smismar (lover), its skin becomes a semi-permeable membrane, allowing the passage of genetic material. Thus, Kif does not know what sex is in Amy's sense of the word.

Although he's been exposed to it twice (Brannigan, Begin Again and Amazon Women in the Mood), he never took part as far as we know. He stuck to the ceiling to avoid the Amazonians until Amy rescued him, and since he still doesn't know how to make love, it is probable that he did the same thing with Hattie in BBA. He didn't want to go in the first place, so he probably refused it. I don't even want to think about Hattie raping Kif 

[Reply #25 on:]

Can Kif even...you know...in the traditional way?  I mean...does his species have the equipment?  They don't need it for reproduction, apparently...eugh, I don't want to have to think about this.

[Reply #26 on:]

Well, he wears underwear, so there must be something there, but he gave birth, so he might resemble female humans in the crotchal region.

[Reply #27 on:]

Or he might actually be hermafrodite, similiar to some frog species...

[Reply #28 on:]

See my post above and watch KGUAN to understand Kif's species' reproduction process

Hedonism Bot- He probably wears underwear because he has organs to excrete waste...ie a penis

[Reply #29 on:]

 

Originally posted by Jicannon:
Hedonism Bot- He probably wears underwear because he has organs to excrete waste...ie a penis

So by your logic, women never wear underpants?   

[Reply #30 on:]

He's probably like African Frogs, they're all males until it's time to reproduce, in which case 50% of the local population becomes female. So when he gave birth he probably had a female organs.

[Reply #31 on:]

That makes sense, insofar as half of a male population turning female in order to breed makes sense.

[Reply #32 on:]

 

Originally posted by ShortRoundMcfly:
He's probably like African Frogs, they're all males until it's time to reproduce, in which case 50% of the local population becomes female. So when he gave birth he probably had a female organs.

This and Jicannon's are also known as "the random Jurassic Park plot hole" explanation.  Its probably what the writers had in mind, what with Kif being a frog and all.

[Reply #33 on:]

Hmm, a few nits/counter-arguments:

Kif's race have the usual male/female division. The Grand Midwife and DOOP president Glab for example are both female even though it isn't time to reproduce for them.

Kif's race don't appear to have a mating season, since Kif's pregnacy was a spontaneous reaction from feeling loved, which suggest Kif's race form monogamous relationships like (most) humans, rather than finding a mate when things start happening.

[/nitpicker]

Oh, and this is quite possible the most disgusting thread I've ever participated in .... at least in Re-Check/Weird. 

[Reply #34 on:]

Perhaps Amphibians are born with a specific gender (Kif is male, Glab is female) but males can spontaneously change gender for the purpose of breeding with other species.  This doesn't change their appearance, but gives them female "equipment" and makes them act even girlier than normal.  I have no idea why a species would evolve this way, but then again this is the same Universe that gave us things like Zoidberg and the Yarn People of Nylar IV.

[Reply #35 on:]

    I don't think it is that complicated here the, Amphibianoid life cycle.

    First off Kif by his species definition is male.  He was in the DOOP when it was all male "War is the H Word".  A male Amphibianoid uptakes genetic material from a female from through the skin when in the receptive state.  He has tadpoles which live for 20 years until they grow legs and arms.  The female Amphibianoid then nurses them when they are young, they have breasts.  Does Kif have a penis no idea but he does have three nipples, "Amazons in the Mood".

     It may not make sense by evolution though.  The closest on earth are seashores.

[Reply #36 on:]

Are we ever told that the DOOP seceratry and the Grand Midwife are female? It could be that we are trying to put human labels on them, when in fact they are just dressed differently.

[Reply #37 on:]

We aren't told in so many words, but since they both have breasts I think it's fairly sure to assume they're meant to be female.

Then we get into the whole "why do an amphibian race have breasts in the first place"-problem.

[Reply #38 on:]

 

Originally posted by Evil Abe
The female Amphibianoid then nurses them when they are young, they have breasts.

This makes no logical sense, but if the young do defy natural selection and common sense and come to shore as the equivalent of human newborns, I guess this works.

Personally, I think Amphibian females have breasts because Futurama ~=~ Star Trek, where every intelligent species is humanoid and has females that want to [censored] Kirk or, occasionally, Spock.

[Reply #39 on:]

I'm just glad to know my theory was the closest.