Nomination-Worthy Posts Thread Harder

[Reply #480 on:]

I SECOND THAT

WHOAAA IVE NEVER BEEN AT THE TOP BEFORE WHOOOOO

[Reply #481 on:]

 

I had to use paint for that. Paint.

[Reply #482 on:]

I had to use paint for that. Paint.

You used Paint and think yourself fit to drink organic coconut-scented tea!? The nerve.

[Reply #483 on:]

This is what I imagine Shiny's Facebook feed looks like:

Damn you, Motor!  You beat me to it

[Reply #484 on:]

Considering that the number of victims the average child predator molests is higher than it has been, I don't think raping one toddler is all that wrong.

[Reply #485 on:]

(Spoilers added - ed)

In the case that your peers actually reach emotional maturity, they may very well regret their lifestyle. I get not wanting to remember your teenage years, but with drinking you miss a lot-- not just what happens around you, but what you do as well.

The idea that alcohol use causes you to forget things is a hugely misleading and mostly false generalization. I'd like to myself assume that you have little to no experience with the substance, but based on your age and having been in college, I'd perhaps guess that's not true? Which would make your statement all the more baffling.

Show spoiler

There is, in reality, a pretty wide range of effects alcohol can have on a person based on the amount they've consumed, and that range can be even wider for people with a higher tolerance for it. That range can encompass anything from feeling barely affected at all, to being almost brain dead, with every variation in between. I have drunk alcohol in excess dozens upon dozens of times, and there is only one time that I can say I ended up "blacking out," by which I mean I ended up with a brief period of time (maybe about a half hour?) that I failed to recall the events of said time or my behavior during it afterwards. That time I had devoured a particularly excessive amount of alcohol (for the record, it was my 21st birthday), but I can say without hesitation that I have approached that level of consumption several times both before and afterwards without losing any sense of awareness of my surroundings or complete control over my behavior. Some impedance to judgment or physical motor skills? Of course. But my cognitive memory functions have aside from that one time always remained completely intact. And while it's a good thing to acknowledge that some of those memories are less than perfect, a lot of them are treasures, because they were times spent with good friends doing fun things.

Let me preface what I'm about to say with the fact that this is an incredibly personal, unique to me circumstance, and that for many people this is not the case which can be a huge, dangerous problem. But the thing I have found developed from drinking alcohol on many occasions over time, for me, is a sense of what my body can handle as I drink. I have reached levels of incredible drunkenness without blacking out on almost every occasion I've done so because I reached a point where my body was telling me "if you drink more, not very good things will happen" and I used my self control to obey that instinct. The one time I did indeed black out, it was because I intentionally ignored my body's messages and continued forward with the purpose of crossing a boundary I hadn't before...a choice that I immediately regretted and swore never to do again the next day, even though in comparison to experiences I know certain friends of mine have had, mine wasn't all that bad.

Anyway, this leads me to believe that a big part of why a lot of people choose to continually drink enough to black out must be a very ingrained self-destructive tendency that results from deep depression or anxiety. I have great pity for those who seek to cross the boundary their body tells them not to intentionally over and over again. That said, I know that's not at all the case with everybody who blacks out a lot. The fact is, a whole lot of people aren't as in touch with their bodies as I am or even as much as they think they are, and they will cross the line without meaning to, ignoring the potential consequences even though they may have had enough bad experiences to know better. This is also a huge problem.

So trust me, I understand how destructive and dangerous drinking can be. But to generalize about all experiences with alcohol as you did so dismissively, to imply that drinking can only result in lost memories and wasted nights you'll never get back or be able to look back on fondly, is ridiculous. There is absolutely a difference between responsible and irresponsible alcohol use as there is with most substances.

[Reply #486 on:]

Okay, everyyyyy single one of these last posts, has been inspired because of me 😱😱 or said or directed towards me, and I get zerooooo credit. LOOK AT THIS PLACE, we gotta bring it alive againnn. We have to make it......burgerworthy 

 You alllll build off of my alcohol drinking and burger eating habits, let us feast unto the renaissance of peelifieddddd 

[Reply #487 on:]

Yes, you have been an excellent catalyst.  Sit back in your lounger, sip on your tequila, and enjoy the show

[Reply #488 on:]

Okay, everyyyyy single one of these last posts, has been inspired because of me 😱😱 or said or directed towards me, and I get zerooooo credit.

Yeah, that'll work. Whining about stuff has always been a great way to become popular.

[Reply #489 on:]

Okay, everyyyyy single one of these last posts, has been inspired because of me 😱😱 or said or directed towards me, and I get zerooooo credit.

Yeah, that'll work. Whining about stuff has always been a great way to become popular.

Thanks *quoted from probably the most negative person on here*  

[Reply #490 on:]

probably the most negative person on here

Any of the PEELers I've actually met would probably disagree. At least slightly.

[Reply #491 on:]

Speaking as someone who has met tnuk in person, I'd like to tell you that he is secretly a big ol' softy...but he'd probably kill me if I did.

Anyway, nom-worthy stuff:

Yeah, I really don't understand why a document that was written in a time when people barely had proper ways of disposing their own waste is depended on as a guidline to your rights, in a time when I can communicate with you while shitting on other side of the planet. I think it might be time to move on, guys.

[Reply #492 on:]

probably the most negative person on here

Any of the PEELers I've actually met would probably disagree. At least slightly.

hey, at least you're proud softy   

[Reply #493 on:]

The Shawshank Redemption
This gave me a... ...boner.

Not actually the first time... ...But it's the first time I've seen it in the last 10 years and it definitely holds up very well.

You're meant to review the movie, UrL.

[Reply #494 on:]

I've never once experienced a significant issue as a result of this.

Only because no one's yet had motivation to access your accounts.

If a person has any financial-related account protected with a password that's a variant of passwords used on any social media site or email account,

<forceful declaration clearly indicating that the person is dangerously naive or whose reasoning ability is substandard>

<one or more corny analogies, framed with a snarky edge>

<partially sincere conciliatory statement>

<link to anecdote detailing how someone was harmed after engaging in the behaviour being criticised>

<heartfelt pleading to halt or modify the behaviour being criticised, with embellishments such as emoticons, bold text, etc.>

<summary/closing statement>

While only a minority of all accounts are compromised (as far as we know*) it makes sense to take the easy steps to improve security.


* There's not much you can personally do to protect yourself from idiots like these.

[Reply #495 on:]

I'd like to have word with the jerk who decided to design the picture on the label for cans of chick peas to have a yellowish tint to them because that tint makes the picture of chick peas look like corn and when I opened the can I was expecting corn and I instead got these fucking chick peas because some idiot failed to consider the confusion he's caused by making them look yellow and also putting the actual 'chick peas' text on the opposite end of the can to the picture so I can't realise their mistake before I open it and waste several minutes trying to operate my crappy can opener that also attracts the dumb cat who thinks any sound of a can opener means processed fish even though we never use the can opener for cat food because it has one of those tabs you can pull to open it easier even though it doesn't always make it easier because my hands suck and all the cat meowing distracts me from opening the can meaning I'm missing out on potential opportunities to double check the label on the can that looks like corn but is actually chick peas so instead I'm staring at an adorable cat that gets excited at these shitty chick peas but even if he wasn't there it wouldn't matter because I'd probably just see that misleading picture anyway which would make me think I'm opening a can of corn like I wanted and that leads to an open can of chick peas that I don't want because I never put them in anything I make and I was in the middle of making soup which really needed corn but it turns out that every can in the pantry that looks like corn is actually chick peas and I don't know if whoever bought them mistaked them for corn or if they really love chick peas for some reason but it's too bad because my soup can't have any corn so now it's just hot water with chunks of chicken in it which is ironic because chick peas sounds like they'd go well with chicken but they don't because chick peas are horrible and they taste nothing like peas which isn't necessarily a bad thing but they don't taste like chicken either which just makes every bite disappointing and now I'm sitting here with half made soup because there's so corn and to top it all off I now feel like I have to make something from these bloody chick peas which I hate.

TL;DR: Fuck chick peas, and also paragraphs and punctuation.

[Reply #496 on:]

Recently, I had another dream that involved the hypnotoad, except it was some shade of magenta instead of the usual colors. Then, the hypnotoad somehow turned out to be a female and married Zoidberg, and the crew attended the wedding. Afterwards, there was some party, and Leela, for some reason, had black hair.
  Randomly, Bender got me, Amy, and Fry to play with what seemed like a Ouija board, and it spelled out "f*** you". Not long after, Fry started foaming at the mouth and spouting gibberish like the girl from The Exorcist and it turned out he was possessed. Fry turned into a devil-like thing, flew off into the sunset, and blew up the universe. Huh. I guess my dreams are just gonna get weirder each time.

[Reply #497 on:]

What if you're in a body of water, possibly get lucky with a lake.

I know, I'm a shark.

You might be a bull shark, with your penchant for fresh water. And your love of bullsharking.

[Reply #498 on:]

Nah. It's not official until you've had drunken, coked-up sex with a dead prostitute in the backseat of somebody else's (stolen) car being driven at twenty over the speed limit by  her former pimp whilst he gives you "helpful" life advice as his dog watches and occasionally licks your testicles. After shooting the pimp, eating first him, then the dog, and smearing yourself in your own excrement, you then need to turn yourself in to the police and confess (showing a total lack of remorse and a certain degree of pride). Summoning a demon at some point along this journey is totally optional.

That's when you get your certificate for the official loss of your last few shreds of innocence. Then they take it (and the rest of your possessions) away from you and send you to jail. Where you will lose a whole new kind of innocence.

Wait, what was this thread about?

This painted a deliciously vivid picture.

[Reply #499 on:]

I'm personally concerned about your choice to describe that using the word delicious.  I'm not against your ability to use words freely, just personally concerned about the judgement you're wielding in determining the words you choose to use.

[Reply #500 on:]

Home Is Where The Pants Aren't

[Reply #501 on:]

It was surprisingly easy to open, despite its tough and fearsome appearance.  I eased the tip of my knife into it, then gently slit around its circumference.  The spiny husk separated cleanly, revealing the smooth, supple inner fruit.  The texture is roughly comparable to that of a firm, peeled grape.

Excerpt from "Memoirs of a Mohel" by Rabbi Matthaim Silverberg.

[Reply #502 on:]

I'm glad my immature penis joke gave you a laugh.

Also, if I were a mohel I would probably run away screaming if I encountered a foreskin that was "Tough and fearsome" and resembled a "spiny husk".

[Reply #503 on:]

SDCC exclusives?

[Reply #504 on:]

Cows don't lay down; they lie down. I'm not trying to be a dick - that's a really common grammatical fuck-up. It just drives me crazy and I'm hoping that by pointing it out, I'll slowly be able to weed it from the surface of the Earth.

Sorry, I'm ruining the happy thread.

[Reply #505 on:]

I wonder if Xanfor is growing a beard right now as well.

Unfortunately, I am. Fortunately, modern blade technology allows me to remove it daily.

But I'm an Atheist...

Are you implying atheists are incapable of being given gifts?

Well, they're certainly capable of being given AS gifts

[Caligula] D'jambi!  More atheists!  The lions are hungry again.

 

[Reply #506 on:]

So now I have to quit there, find a new job, get ready for college,  and pray I can find some cheaper insurace.

There are no atheists when it comes to dealing with insurance companies, apparently.

[Reply #507 on:]

Render unto Ceasar what is Ceasar's.  Render unto God what is God's.

[Reply #508 on:]

I remember that!

Your ideas would probably make a good spinoff series, rather than perpetual same Simpsons for 80 years until the rapture comes.  Ooo I wonder when the Simpsons are going to do their rapture special.

Fry thought bubble: Sometimes I really enjoy TV, but I also despise it. I am winna.

Zoidberg thought bubble: I wonder when I will become the blue lobster again. I have always been the blue lobster. I am winna.

Professor thought bubble: Praying mantis yoga stretches are really good for you, if you're into that sort of thing. If not, then they may be bad for you, depending on your own personal relative measure of goodness. I am winna.

Cubert thought bubble: I can't believe I used to be just like the Professor, and the Professor is going to be just like me when he's older. I am winna.

What-If Machine: We are all winna.

[Reply #509 on:]

OOPS! PAGE 20! Time for a new thread!

[Reply #510 on:]

I think you meant 9th not 19th...

That's just how hobbits refer to second ninths. Like elevensies or second breakfast.

[Reply #511 on:]

Edit - Everyone in this thread, you should probably get your appliances tested to be sure you didn't get Dryerpes or Hepadrytis C from me. I'm sorry, I didn't know. I thought my dryer just had a cold.

Great. My dryer is the sun. I swear to Ra, if you infected the whole solar system's freaking sun, we're going to have to have a very serious talk.

[Reply #512 on:]

I could've sworn Canada posted more than China this week, hobbitboy.

‡ New ranks:
               Norway —» World Superpower

 ‡ Premier Place-gain:
               Brazil outsmarts Australia to snag 6th place.

 ‡ Canada gets to #3 for the first time in 147 weeks:

1 Russia
2 Antarctica
3 Canada
4 China
5 United States
6 Brazil
7 Australia
8 India
9 Argentina
10 Kazakhstan
11 Algeria

† It's been 17 weeks since India last graced The List with its presence.

Bravo, UrL, bravo.

[Reply #513 on:]

It's a video game called Density, and it's all about how your mass affects the physics of the world around you. It's made by Bungle, the folks who made the Hello games.

[Reply #514 on:]

Listen, I know I'm coming off as a giant prick right now. But allow me to come off as an even bigger one:

[Reply #515 on:]

Aww, I'd hoped that you would follow that quote with the first sentence of my reply... <snif>

[Reply #516 on:]

PEEL didn't do much for me.

I mean, you guys are cool and all, but I don't think PEEL's shaped me in any big way.

Except for that time I met an old guy at a hotel, he took me to dinner, offered me candy and gave me sage advice.

I waited 18 years for the first one, another 18 won't make a difference.

Show spoiler

I take the same approach to my virginity.

Show spoiler

Still waiting on the "first one".

Uh, winna's birthday is next month

I don't think we're talking about the same winna.

Yes we are. We're all winna.

Pretty sure I'm not, mate.

Yes you are!

Sorry, I forgot to switch accounts!

[Reply #517 on:]

More from Nibbs and Jezzem:

It's probably been lower.

On the bright side, I've made two posts so far, so I'm guaranteed top 10!

You're probably right at the top of the list now. That's gotta earn you some points with your cool new college friends!

[Reply #518 on:]

Gem from freako:

The drives have arrived!  Someday we'll all laugh at the ridiculously small storage space and mechanical innards of the tiny little drives we used way back in 2015...

[edit] (screenshot of 20 terabyte storage array)

Show spoiler

P.S. This was just a quick test at work to make sure none of the drives were DOA, and I'll certainly not be using them in a RAID0 configuration!  They will make up a 3-drive, RAID5 array with one cold spare in a drawer.  I dread to imagine how long a rebuild will take if one ever fails...

 That's a lot of porn.

[Reply #519 on:]

This is the geekiest I've ever looked...

Add the Tenth Doctor's coat, Dr. Horrible's goggles, fasten on your Starfleet Lapel Pin, and clip a lightsaber to your Batman Utility Belt. Then you'll be the geekiest anybody's ever looked.